Original subtitles

-♪ Hey, everybody, have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in, hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies, so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties, boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪

[School bell rings]

♪

-Oh. Welcome to Joe Bob's Summer School,

designed for Advanced Placement courses

at Briggs High School of the Cinematic Arts,

and also for those who screwed up

and flunked the regular school year.

And tonight is devoted to theoretical drive-in physics,

specifically the science necessary to understand

"Donnie Darko,"

a movie that dives deep into the Einstein-Rosen bridge,

the original theories that --

it dives deep into all four of these things --

the Einstein-Rosen bridge,

the original theories of German mathematician Hermann Weyl,

the always popular Schwarzschild black hole,

which is not on here,

and the second law of thermodynamics

n order to ask the question, "What the fuck?"

So thank you, Darcy, for enrolling in the course,

because a little later tonight,

we're gonna be actually demonstrating

the Einstein-Rosen bridge using your body as a vessel

to be hurtled through the space-time continuum.

-Hurtled? -Mm-hmm.

-Interesting. -Well, more accurately

sucked through a wormhole,

thereby illustrating the principles first established

by the Pythagorean theorem of space time,

which I won't go into right now,

because there it is on the blackboard.

You can visit it at any time.

And isn't that a beauty?

The Pythagorean theorem of space time.

-Uh, so I'm not sure I want to be sucked into anything.

-You're gonna love it. You're gonna love it.

I -- All right, before we get into "Donnie" Darko,

I want to talk a little bit about time travel.

Every time -- every time-travel movie goes back to one source,

the 1895 H.G. Wells novel "The Time Machine,"

which was immortalized for all classic lovers

of time-travel movies in the 1960 George Pal

classic "The Time Machine."

And, you know, we've all seen it.

Rod Taylor travels 800,000 years into the future

and meets the creepy Morlocks,

but he also gets to save the life of Yvette Mimieux,

wearing a bodice-enhancing see-through tunic.

And "The Time Machine" has been filmed, I think, six times,

but -- [Door opens]

[Creepy music plays]

Um, excuse me,

but I don't think I have a, uh, scary rabbit being listed

as being enrolled in this class anywhere.

-Your classroom is not rabbit accessible.

-Oh, don't pull that crap on me.

-Fine.

I'll review your course on TeachersSuck.com

-Okay. You can have one extra hour on the final exam.

-Acceptable. -Wow.

Is this really the intro to "Donnie Darko"?

-Yes, this -- unfortunately, Darcy,

because there are many things in advanced drive-in physics

that can never be fully explained.

-Such as?

-Such as why is a scary rabbit sitting at that desk?

Such as why is Einstein a character in "Oppenheimer"?

'Cause Einstein really had nothing to do

with the Manhattan Project.

So why do they make a big deal about Oppenheimer

talking to Einstein at that place

where he lived in New Jersey?

-The Institute for Advanced Studies.

-Yeah. That place.

Oppenheimer has a cast of 9,000 and a running time of 17 hours.

Why did they put Einstein in the story?

We'll never know. You know?

Cillian Murphy -- he has no idea.

He went to Christopher Nolan and he said, "Hey, Chris,

tell me again, why am I talking to Einstein?"

And Christopher Nolan said,

"Because he lives by this lake in New Jersey,

and Morton Downey Jr. thinks Einstein doesn't like him.

And Cillian Murphy goes, "Oh, okay.

Physics logic. Got it."

So anyway, Darcy,

we're gonna get into hard-core theoretical physics

as the night goes on.

But right now I want you to consider your place

on the space-time continuum. All right.

-All right. And how do I do that?

-Well, uh, we already know that your body is located

at longitude 33 degrees, 17 feet, 23.6 inches north

and latitude 84 degrees, 31 feet, 31.9 inches west.

-Of course. -But in order to rocket you

through an Einstein-Rosen bridge, we will also need to

expand those coordinates to show

that you are located in the low-density

dark-energy galaxy called the Milky Way --

that would be our galaxy.

If we were to send you over to, say, the Andromeda Galaxy,

we might -- we would get a whole new set of coordinates,

and you would possibly end up among scary rabbit people

or something like that. So in order to keep you safe,

we're calibrating your wormhole to confine itself

to the Milky Way proper,

which is a mere 100,000 light years in diameter

and just 1,000 light years thick.

-All right. Now I feel totally safe.

-So it's impossible for you to reach Andromeda,

or even the Canis Major dwarf galaxy

which orbits the Milky Way.

Okay, Darcy,

I want you to put up a poll of the mutant family

so that we can all stay in touch tonight.

Will you do that? -I will.

Staying in touch would be very nice, actually.

-Okay, first question.

How many in our in our audience

have already seen "Donnie Darko"?

-Okay. -How many have seen it

more than once.

How many have seen it more than 10 times?

-Mm. -And how many have seen

both the original theatrical cut and the director's cut?

Okay, then I want you to ask everyone

who's seen it to tell us what it means.

-I feel like this is a lot of polling.

-Yeah, well, because zero people have ever been able to figure

out what this movie means.

-Then why are we asking?

-Well, because people think they know what it means,

but nobody does...at all.

So -- until tonight. Because we know,

because we know the physics. And Jake Gyllenhaal,

the star, and Seth Rogen is making his film debut

in one of the minor supporting parts,

were talking at the wrap party for this film,

and they admitted to each other

that they really had no idea what it was about.

This is after the movie is already in the can.

And also "Donnie Darko" --

he was a disastrous flop when it first came out.

I'm really making people want to see it, aren't I?

You know, yeah.

I mean, you're not gonna understand it

and nobody liked it.

And normally I don't like to tell people

a movie is gonna be confusing or hard to fathom,

but that's sort of where "Donnie Darko" lives.

But here's the thing.

You will think you're understanding it.

You will think you understand all of it,

or most of it, until the last 20 minutes.

And then you'll go, "I think I get it.

Do you get it? What do you think?

Want to watch it again?"

You know, this is one of the only movies

I've ever heard of where the director says,

"If you're watching my movie for the first time,

do not watch the director's cut.

Watch the theatrical cut," which is what we're doing tonight,

because the director's cut is like graduate school

for the theatrical cut.

So here's the story on "Donnie Darko."

"Donnie Darko" was written and directed by Richard Kelly,

who grew up in Midlothian, Virginia,

which is an upper-middle-class suburb of Richmond,

that's called Middlesex, Virginia, in the movie.

Um, Richard Kelly graduated high school in 1993,

and he won a scholarship

to the University of Southern California Film School in L.A.,

where he graduated in 1997.

And once he got out of film school,

he thought, "Nobody's gonna hire me to make movies

unless I have a screenplay."

And so he wrote this screenplay in about two months,

and it was such a weird screenplay

that everybody in Hollywood read it,

and they were intrigued by it, and they said,

"But I don't want to make it. It's too weird."

Now, a few companies did want to buy the script from him,

until they found out that he wouldn't sell the script

unless he was attached as the director.

And then just when it seemed

like he had written an unproduceable story,

somehow it got to Drew Barrymore at a time in her life

when she not only wanted to act in movies,

she wanted to produce movies.

And eventually Drew Barrymore's production company

put up $4.5 million to make the movie,

which is a pretty nice budget for somebody's

first film from their first screenplay.

So Jake Gyllenhaal was hired for the lead,

even though he was not at all well-known at the time.

He was only 19 years old,

playing 16 years old in the movie.

In fact, his older sister, Maggie Gyllenhaal,

was much better known.

She plays his older sister in the movie as well.

And the part of the English teacher,

which was originally supposed to be a woman in her 60s,

was rewritten for Drew Barrymore.

Now, since nobody really understood the movie,

Richard Kelly was pretty much allowed to shoot it any way

he wanted to shoot it,

and he was so intently focused on making it perfect

that he ended up losing

five pounds a week during the shooting.

And when it was finished,

it was given the world-premiere slot on the opening night

of the Sundance Film Festival in 2001.

And everybody hated it. -Aw.

-It was actually booed.

Um, every distribution company passed on it.

Uh, Richard Kelly was given the unhappy news

that it would probably be sold at a fire-sale price

to the STARZ TV network, which depressed him greatly.

And then at the last minute,

Newmarket Films picked it up

and agreed to a limited theatrical release.

And one of the executives in charge

at Newmarket was Bob Berney,

who happens to be a lifelong friend of mine.

We used to room together at the Cannes Film Festival every year.

And Bob is gonna be joining us later tonight...

-Yay! -...to talk about how he put

together a marketing campaign for a release

just before Halloween of 2001.

And then 9/11 happened.

And one of the key parts of "Donnie Darko" --

in fact, the main part of it -- involves a plane

that comes out of nowhere and crashes

and somehow threatens the end of the world.

So, as I said, you're never quite sure,

if you start deep-diving into the plot of "Donnie Darko,"

what exactly is happening, but people were not

interested in watching movies about airplanes crashing

into buildings in October of 2001.

So now the movie had gone through

a second monumental failure,

and there was only one place left -- home video and DVDs.

We were in that transition period

where people still bought VHS

but most people had switched over to DVDs.

And the home-entertainment market turned "Donnie Darko"

into a runaway hit -- $20 million in video sales,

unheard of at the time.

And it also became a midnight movie at places

that were running out of steam

on "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and "Basket Case"

and places like that.

And the Pioneer Theater in the East Village neighborhood

in New York played it for 28 months.

-Wow. -And even to this day,

the Aero Theatre in Santa Monica, California,

plays it every Easter.

And, um, many people in the audience dress up.

They dress up like you, sir --

the giant talking bunny rabbit

that's part of the plot. Um...

-The rabbit is necessary to the plot.

-[Laughs] -We don't really need

any outbursts while I'm talking, scary rabbit.

Uh, it was especially popular in London,

where the soundtrack went to number one

on the musical charts.

Soundtrack has music by Tears for Fears,

Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys, Joy Division.

But the song that went to number one --

there's a Tears for Fear song at the beginning of the movie,

but the main Tears for Fear song

that they wanted for the end of the movie,

they couldn't afford it.

And so Michael Andrews, the film's composer,

did a cover version of "Mad World,"

and that's the version that went to number one in England.

Still, nobody knew what it was really all about.

It's like a puzzle movie and not just a puzzle movie,

but a dozen separate puzzles all dumped on you at the same time.

And it's hard to say even what genre it is.

Is it science fiction? Most definitely.

Is it horror? Well, it has a giant,

deformed talking bunny rabbit

exerting mind-control messages through Jake Gyllenhaal.

-Hell yeah.

-Are you planning on doing that all night?

-Perhaps.

-Ah. Is it a religious allegory?

Um, probably. Is it a coming-of-age movie?

Absolutely. Is it comedy? Yes. Satire? Yes.

Time travel? Yes. Definitely.

Fantasy? Yes.

Political drama? Yes.

Is it a hallucination or a dream vision?

Probably. Is it batshit crazy? Absolutely.

Richard Kelly has been interviewed dozens of times,

and, of course, he's always asked what it means,

and he's never quite sure himself.

And I don't think he's lying.

I don't -- and I don't think he's being coy.

I think he wrote the script in some kind of altered state

that he doesn't completely understand himself,

because in one interview he said,

quote, "I look at the events in the film

as a story of divine and supernatural intervention

where a select group of characters

happen to be living in the proximity

of a science-fiction event.

[Laughter] Which doesn't help much,

but that's about as close as we're gonna get.

So why did it become a cult hit that we're still talking about today?

My guess is that it was an early millennial movie.

Um, in fact, it became a rite of passage for millennials.

Every person under the age of 25 identified with the idea

that there's only one person who knows

how fucked up the world is, and that person,

you know, lives daily with the knowledge

that everybody else thinks he is the one who's fucked up.

And it's a story about what it means to be young

and sad and confused and misunderstood.

And you notice I haven't said anything about the plot?

Because anything I could say about the plot

would probably be a spoiler.

And so I'm just gonna give you a few factoids,

and then we're gonna go to the drive-in totals.

But the first line of Seth Rogen's movie career is,

"I like your boobs."

Uh, it was the last movie of Patience Cleveland,

a legendary Broadway actress who plays Grandma Death.

Um, Richard Kelly would make two more features after this,

but they both flopped.

Um, he is still, 22 years later,

known mainly as the "Donnie Darko" guy.

Uh, it's one of the best satirical send-ups

of beauty-pageant culture

and the self-help movement ever put on film.

And Katharine Ross, the star of "The Graduate"

and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"

and "The Stepford Wives" --

she came back after a 15-year absence from the screen

to play the psychotherapist in the movie, Dr. Thurman.

And one more factoid --

when shooting began for "Donnie Darko,"

Richard Kelly's actual job

was working at 525 Post Production,

which is an editing facility in Hollywood,

where one of his duties was to make cheese-and-cracker plates

for Weird Al Yankovic. He would do that every night

and then work on "Donnie Darko" during the day.

Drive-in totals-wise, we have...

either 2 dead bodies or 6 billion dead bodies,

depending on how you interpret the movie,

one plane crash, one giant talking rabbit...

-He deserved an Oscar.

-...two heckling golfers,

one bedwetting confession,

one Smurfette gang-bang fantasy,

one hallucinatory version of "The Evil Dead,"

one burning deer head, one vehicular homicide,

monstrous thunderstorm, mysterious trampoline sequence,

bullying, water-main ax bashing,

beer-bottle shooting, gratuitous pajama pants,

gratuitous Halloween carnival,

gratuitous leaf blower, gratuitous drug abuse,

gratuitous vomit-swallowing advice,

switchblade fu, arson fu, teenage angst fu.

Drive-in Academy Award nominations for Jake Gyllenhaal

in the title role as the pill-popping,

smartass high school student with a dark secret.

Mary McDonnell as the frustrated mom who says,

"My son just called me a bitch."

Drew Barrymore as the English teacher who says,

"Sit next to the boy you think is the cutest."

Jena Malone as the girlfriend who says,

"You're weird. That's a compliment."

Patrick Swayze as the self-help guru with a felonious fetish.

Beth Grant as the whack-job P.E. teacher Kitty Farmer.

And Richard Kelly, the writer-director,

for lines like, "What's the point of living if

you don't have a dick? Four stars.

Joe Bob says, check it out.

Okay, Darcy, now, at the first break of the movie,

we're gonna stuff you through a wormhole.

-[Sighs] Are you sure that you're qualified to do this?

-Well, no one is qualified to do this, Darcy.

You know? I mean... -Well, then, let's go.

-[Chuckles] All right. I love your attitude.

That's why we always choose you

when it's time to get beaten up in one way or another.

-I am happy to be your guinea pig.

-All right. You're always happy?

Including the time when I shot the apple off your head?

-You mean the time that you fumbled

the Norman Reedus crossbow and it accidentally went off?

-I knew exactly what I was doing.

I didn't fumble the cr-- I knew exactly what I was doing.

-Mm-hmm. Yeah, you always do.

-This is very basic theoretical astrophysics

we're dealing with tonight, though.

I mean, the more complicated part

is gonna be bringing you back from the wormhole.

-Are you kidding me?

-I mean, don't worry.

Well, all you have to do is you reverse the black hole.

We create an artificial black hole, we send --

we zip you into it.

We then reverse it. We turn it into a white hole,

and the pressure forces you back to the present.

-This is all super reassuring.

-Okay, plus we have duct tape. -Well, that works.

-I'll have to go check and see if we have duct tape.

-Oh. Okay. [Laughter]

[School bell rings]

[Thunder rumbling]

[Thunder continues rumbling]

[Birds chirping]

[Eerie music plays]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

-[Chuckles]

♪

[Echo & the Bunnymen's "The Killing Moon"plays]

♪

♪

♪

♪

-♪ Under blue moon I saw you ♪

♪ So soon you'll take me ♪

♪ Up in your arms, too late to beg you ♪

♪ Or cancel it though I know it must be the killing time ♪

♪ Unwillingly mine ♪

♪ Fate ♪

♪ Up against your will ♪

♪ Through the thick and thin ♪

♪ He will wait until ♪

♪ You give yourself to him ♪

♪

♪ In starlit nights I saw you ♪

♪ So cruelly you kissed me ♪

♪ Your lips a magic world ♪

♪ Your sky all hung with jewels ♪

♪ The killing moon ♪

♪ Will come too soon ♪

♪ Fate ♪

♪ Up against your will ♪

♪ Through the thick and thin ♪

♪ He will wait until ♪

-I'm voting for Dukakis.

-Hm.

Well...

maybe when you have children of your own

who need braces and you can't afford them

because half of your husband's paycheck

goes to the federal government, you'll, uh, regret that.

-My husband's paycheck?

-[Laughs]

-Anyway, I'm not gonna squeeze one out till I'm like 30.

-Will you still be working at the Yarn Barn?

Because I hear that's a really great place to raise children.

-That's really funny.

-No, I think a year of partying's enough.

She'll be going to Harvard next fall.

-Mom, I haven't even gotten in yet.

-Do you honestly think Michael Dukakis

will provide for this country

till you're ready to squeeze one out?

-Yeah, I do. -Hmm.

-When can I squeeze one out?

-Not until eighth grade.

-Excuse me.

-Donnie, you're such a dick.

-[Chuckles] Whoa, Elizabeth! A little hostile there.

Maybe you should be the one in therapy.

Then Mom and Dad can pay someone $200 an hour

to listen to all your thoughts, so we don't have to.

-Okay. Do you want to tell Mom and Dad

why you stopped taking your medication?

-You're such a fuck-ass!

-[Laughs] what?

-Please.

-Did you call me a fuck-ass? -Hey.

-Elizabeth, that's enough.

-You can go suck a fuck! -Oh, please, tell me, Elizabeth,

how exactly does one suck a fuck?

-You want me to tell you? -Please tell me.

-We will not have this at the dinner table. Stop!

-Fuck. [Laughs]

-What's a fuck-ass?

-[Laughs]

[Knock on door]

-I'm reading. Get out of my room.

-Where do you go at night?

-Will you just get out of my room?

-Did you toilet-paper the Johnsons' house?

-Is that what you came here to ask me?

-No.

-I stopped rolling houses in the sixth grade, Mom.

-What happened to my son?

I don't recognize this person today.

-Then why don't you start taking the Goddamn pills?

[Door slams]

Bitch.

-Our son just called me a bitch.

-You're not a bitch.

You're bitchin', but you're not a bitch.

-But I want to be a president of the United States

who makes sure that we never again do business

with a drug-running Panamanian dictator,

that we never again... -Dukakis.

-...funnel aid to the Contras through convicted drug dealers.

-Son of a bitch.

-Panama is a friendly country.

I went down there and talked to the president of Panama...

-Tell him, George. -...about cleaning up

their money laundering.

[Clock chiming] Mr. Noriega was there,

but there was no evidence at that time,

and when the evidence was there, we indicted him.

[Chiming continues]

-Wake up.

[Eerie music plays]

♪

♪

♪

♪

I've been watching you.

♪

♪

♪

♪

Come closer.

♪

Closer.

♪

♪

♪

♪

28 days...

...six hours...

42 minutes...

12 seconds.

♪

That is when the world will end.

-Why?

[Static crackles]

[Lock clicks]

[Vehicle departing]

-[Sighs]

[Chuckles]

[Crashing]

[Car alarm blaring, dogs barking]

[Breathing heavily]

-Son?

Son? Donnie Darko?

Donnie Darko? What the heck's going on here?

-Who is it, Don? -It's Eddie Darko's kid.

I'm sorry about this, Jim. He's just a neighborhood kid.

He just...

-Guess he was sleep-golfing?

-[Laughs]

Watch out for that drool spot.

-Are you alright, son?

-So, uh, let's stay off the links at night, okay?

-I'm s-sorry, Dr. Fisher.

It won't happen again.

-[Sighs] Kids.

-Let's golf. -Mm-hmm.

[Sirens wailing]

[Indistinct shouting]

-No one's allowed through here. -This is my house.

-I said no one -- -This is my house!

-He's okay.

♪

♪

♪

♪

-Wait a minute.

Here's -- Here's your brother.

-Oh! -It fell in your room.

-Watch yourself down there.

♪

♪

-Ms. Darko? I'm Bob Garland. I'm with the FAA.

-The what?

-I'm with the FAA. If you don't mind, we'd like to

speak to you and your husband privately.

-In private? -Please.

-All right.

♪

[Indistinct whispering]

♪

-And here. -You got it.

-All right, we have arranged for you to stay at a hotel.

Get some sleep and we will take care of things here.

-Great. -Thank you.

-Kids, come on. We're going to a hotel.

-They don't know where it came from.

♪

♪

-Local and national transportation authorities

have begun a nationwide...

-Frankie Feedler.

-...despite the fact

that no airline will claim ownership of the engine...

-You remember.

From high school. -The FAA remains...

-Hmm.

-...on the details of the current situation...

-He died.

-The engine, which appears to have detached from...

-On his way to the prom.

-Yeah. -Remember?

-Mm-hmm. -...eyewitnesses interviewed

here at Channel 12. Representatives...

-They said he was doomed.

-...have denied ownership of the engine,

distancing themselves from the incident.

All airline manufacturers... -Jesus.

-...have now been contacted as the engine continues...

-They could've said the same thing about Donnie.

-...as security grows even tighter

on this bizarre situation. So far FAA...

-If it fell from a plane,

then what happened to the plane?

-They don't know, Samantha.

-...the missing plane had been flying well below

what is called the civilian hard deck.

-So the engine from a commercial airliner

falls from the sky into Donnie's room.

But there's no plane crash,

and there's no plane with a missing engine.

And there's a scary rabbit telling Donnie

that the world will end in 28 days.

-Listen to the rabbit.

-Is Donnie a hero, an anti-hero,

a weird kid with mental-health problems?

The sleepwalking thing is bizarre.

We're gonna go layer by layer

to find out the answers to all these questions.

Or maybe the first 15 minutes of the movie

occur in a different place than the rest of the movie,

but nobody realizes that.

So, Darcy, are you ready?

-I'm not really sure what I'm getting ready for, but yes!

-Okay, you are getting ready to go through

an Einstein-Rosen bridge.

-Okay. -That's the time-space corridor

first proposed in 1935 by Albert Einstein

and his American colleague Nathan Rosen.

Using mathematical formulas first proposed

by German mathematician Hermann Weyl in 1921.

And what we're gonna do -- I worked this out with Shane,

who does all our special effects.

What we're gonna do

is we're gonna squish matter down to such a high density

that no other force is strong enough to counteract it,

because, as we all know, matter tells space time

how to bend, and the bending of space time

tells matter how to move.

-Uh, am I supposed to remember all this?

-I'm taking notes.

-What I'm -- -Notes.

-What I'm describing is a black hole,

which will always be paired with a white hole,

which flings anything thrown into it

outward at the speed of light.

And the connected black hole and white hole

will form a bridge or tunnel so that, Darcy, in your case,

you will be able to leave the drive-in

in the year 2024 and arrive in...

We don't know where you'll arrive, do we?

We got all of space time in the Milky Way galaxy

to work with here.

-This sounds super safe.

-Yeah, but as Shane pointed out to me

when we started building the Einstein-Rosen

drive-in space-time tunnel,

there is a big problem with wormholes.

Wormhole being the colloquial term coined

by American theoretical physicist John Archibald Wheeler

in 1957 for what we're doing here.

And that is that wormholes are, by their nature, unstable.

-Okay, awesome. Let's do it. -[ Laughs]

-We will have no snickering in class, scary rabbit.

So I -- to stabilize Darcy's journey into the unknown,

we're adding into this very sensitive device

both exotic matter and exotic energy.

Right, Shane? -Correct.

-Where did we find the exotic matter?

-You really don't want to know.

-All right. Well, we're in Georgia, you know, in the woods.

So I-I'm sure that part wasn't hard.

And exotic energy.

-Well, we did that thing with the wands.

-Oh, yeah. We took two magic-wand vibrators,

and we reversed the fields and put them end-to-end,

and then replaced the energy sources

with a vibration device 1,000 times greater

than your normal home use.

And we threw it into a dogpile of human bodies

at an all-adult hotel on South Padre Island, Texas,

during spring-break week.

And then we collected fluids and odors.

-Dude, that's gross. -All right.

Well, physics is nasty, Darcy. I mean, all right.

Have you noticed the very specific timeline in this movie?

October the 2nd, 1988,

which they nailed with the very first line of the movie,

"I'm voting for Dukakis,"

uh, establishing that it was a time

when just voting for Dukakis

was enough to make you a renegade in suburban Virginia.

Um, do you like the vibe of the movie, though?

You know, the music? The cinematography?

Um, working the camera is Steven Poster,

the guy we know from 20 years earlier

when he was working low-budget '80s horror flicks

like "Dead & Buried" and "Blood Beach"

and "The New Kids."

But since then, he'd become a big name in Hollywood.

He worked on "Close Encounters." He worked on "Blade Runner."

Uh, he did Madonna videos. He did "Rocky V."

So when they told Richard Kelly

that Steven Poster would possibly do the movie,

Kelly was kind of terrified of working with somebody

that famous and that much older.

So Poster read the script and he said, "I want to meet this guy."

And he went and had the meeting and he told him, "Look,

as far as this shoot goes,

we're the same age and you're the director

and I'm always gonna follow your lead,

but maybe I'll have some good suggestions."

And the partnership turned out to be amazing.

There are shots and camera moves in this flick

that give it a kind of surreal subtext,

so that even when you don't know exactly what's going on,

your subconscious knows what's going on.

Okay.

Back to the movie. Oh, oh, and Darcy,

no reason to wait. I think we might as well

stuff you down the wormhole, so to speak.

Or the rabbit hole.

-This job is so glamorous.

-One thing I forgot to mention, though,

is the second law of thermodynamics.

-Oh, by all means, let's talk about it.

-We know that the world tends towards entropy, right?

Everything is wasting away.

We don't notice it because we live in one tiny, little moment

on the space-time continuum.

In terms of the whole universe,

if the world lasted for 24 hours,

the human lifetime would be like less than a millionth

of a millionth of a millionth of a millisecond.

So we're like little tiny specks of dust

on the back of a fire ant.

-I have a question. -Yes.

-Is any of this relevant to "Donnie Darko"?

-Oh, yes, Darcy. -Okay.

-Because "Donnie Darko" is a very religious movie

about the meaning of life. And so we find out

by constructing the Einstein-Rosen bridge

whether the second law of thermodynamics

makes time travel impossible.

-If it's impossible, how are we gonna do it?

-Well, we'll know if you go backwards in time.

And entropy has made the world of today

more loosely assembled, so to speak.

We will know because you'll probably just explode.

-Nice. Let's do it! -Okay. Shane!

Crank that baby up! Come on over here, Darcy.

Stand on this side of the space-time device.

-Okay. [Laughs] Okay.

-And you're going into the continuum.

Try not to stay away for more than a couple of breaks,

because I want you to come back during the movie.

-Okay. I'll see what I can do. -All right.

Oh, and I almost forgot!

You need to take an artifact with you,

like the artifact in "Donnie Darko"

is that jet engine.

-You want me to take a jet engine?

-No, Darcy! That's very cute,

but we've made it easy on you.

Just take this necktie

and attach it to an object in your alternate universe

and try to get a photo.

-Okay, but why am I doing this?

-So we can fuck with space time.

-Cool. Let's do it. -Great. Okay.

-Ready? -In you go.

[Device whirring]

[Zapping]

-[ Chuckles]

♪

-[Distorted] Oh, my gosh! So crazy here.

-They don't call it a wormhole for nothing.

Hasta la pasta, Darcy.

[Zapping]

Oh, I forgot to ask you,

did you turn in your dental records?

That wasn't me.

That was AMC legal was asking for those.

Okay.

Bon voyage.

Can you run Instagram from in there?

Because...

Well, okay.

I hope she ends up in some interesting place,

like, I don't know...

Medieval France playing a lute or --

actually, no, I don't want to see that.

A war zone would be good. You know, the Boer War.

-Uh, what? -Where was the Boer War?

Africa, right? Where the Boers live.

Darcy could tell us why the Boers were pissed,

and then maybe bring back some 18th century

Dutch farm products.

[Laughter]

[School bell rings]

-Mrs. Farmer will bring you home after practice.

Donnie? Bye, honey. Donnie...

Good luck.

-Oh, my God! Okay, tell me everything.

-I'm not allowed to talk about it.

-Oh, my God.

-Hi, Cherita.

-Shut up!

-Darko cheats death! Huh?

You're like a celebrity, man!

I've been calling you, like, a Jillion times. Where you been?

-We stayed at a hotel.

-Hey, uh, my dad said he saw you at the golf course.

You sleepwalking again there, buddy?

-I don't want to talk about it.

-Now that you're famous, you gotta have a smoke.

-What happens if you tell Mom and Dad about this, Sam?

-You'll put Ariel in the garbage disposal.

-Goddamn right, I will.

-So grody.

-Hey, Cherita, you want a cigarette?

-Shut up!

-[Mockingly] Shut up!

-Go back to China, bitch!

-[Chuckles]

-Just leave her alone.

-That's some good shit, huh?

-It's a fucking cigarette.

[Bell tolls]

[Tears for Fears' "Head Over Heels"plays]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

-♪ I wanted to be with you alone ♪

♪ And talk about the weather ♪

♪ But traditions I can trace against the child in your face ♪

♪ Won't escape my attention ♪

♪ You keep your distance with a system of touch ♪

♪ And gentle persuasion ♪

♪ With one foot in the past now just how long will it last ♪

♪ No, no, no, have you no ambition? ♪

♪ You keep your distance with a system of touch ♪

♪ And gentle persuasion ♪

♪ I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much? ♪

♪ Oh, you're wasting my time ♪

♪ You're just, just, just wasting time ♪

♪ Something happens and I'm head over heels ♪

♪ I never find out till I'm head over heels ♪

♪ Something happens and I'm head over heels ♪

♪ Uh, don't take my heart, don't break my heart ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't throw it away ♪

♪

♪ La la-la la la, la la-la la ♪

♪ La-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ La la-la la la, la la-la la ♪

♪ In my mind's eye ♪

♪ One little boy, one little man ♪

♪ Funny how ♪

♪ Time flies ♪

-"There would be headlines in the papers.

Even the grown-up gangs

who ran the betting at the all-in wrestling

and the barrow-boys would hear with respect

of how Old Misery's house had been destroyed.

It was as though this plan had been with him all his life,

pondered through the seasons,

now, in his 15th year, crystallized

with the pain of puberty."

What is Graham Greene trying to communicate with this passage?

Why did the children break into Old Misery's house?

Joanie?

-They wanted to rob him.

-Joanie, if you had actually read the short story,

which at a whopping 13 pages would've kept you up all night,

you would know that the children...

-You suck. -...find a great deal of money

in the mattress, but they burn it.

Donnie Darko,

perhaps with your recent brush with mass destruction,

you can give us your opinion.

-Well, they say it right when they flood the house,

when they tear it to shreds,

that, like, destruction is a form of creation,

so the fact that they burn the money is ironic.

They just wanna see what happens when they tear the world apart.

They want to change things.

[Door opens]

-May we help you?

-Yeah, I just registered,

and they put me in the wrong English class.

-You look like you belong here.

-Um...where do I sit?

-Sit next to the boy you think is the cutest.

[Students exclaiming] Quiet!

Let her choose.

[Students snickering]

♪

Joanie, get up.

♪

♪

♪

♪

-Well, the construction guys say

it'll take about a week to fix the roof.

That damned airline better not fuck us on the shingle match.

-They still don't know?

-Know what?

-Where it came from?

-Uh...no.

Apparently they can't tell us what happened yet.

Something about a matching serial number that got burned.

I had to sign a form

saying I wouldn't talk to anyone about it.

-[Chuckles] So we're not supposed to

tell anyone what nobody knows?

-Yeah. [Chuckles] But you tell, um...

What's -- What's your doctor's name?

-Dr. Thurman, Dad.

-Yes. You tell Dr. Thurman whatever you want.

-Dad. -What?

-Dad!

[Dogs barking in distance]

-No mail today. Maybe tomorrow.

-[Whispers indistinctly]

-Well, what did she say to you?

-I made a new friend.

-Real or imaginary?

-Imaginary.

-Would you like to talk about this friend?

-Frank. -Frank.

What did Frank say?

-He said to follow him.

-Follow him? Where?

-Into the future.

-And then what happens?

-And then he said...

Then he said that the world was coming to an end.

[Chuckles]

-Do you think the world is coming to an end?

-No.

That's stupid.

-For my entire life,

I was a victim of my own fear.

-Love.

-I was feeding fear food.

[ Ethereal music plays]

-Fear.

♪

[ Horse whinnies]

-And finally, I looked in the mirror.

Not just in the mirror. I looked through the mirror.

In that image, I saw my ego reflection.

-For two years, I thought it was normal

for a 10-year-old to wet the bed.

[Laughter] -We tried everything.

-Shh! Quiet!

-But the solution was there all the time.

-I'm not afraid anymore!

-All over America,

people have come together to join hands.

People who believe that human life

is absolutely too important,

too valuable, and too precious

to be controlled by fear.

Hello. My name is Jim Cunningham.

And welcome to "Controlling Fear."

[Whooshing]

-Wake up, Donnie.

[Eerie music plays]

♪

♪

[Water dripping]

♪

[Whooshing]

-"...and the prince was led into a world

of strange and beautiful magic."

-Wow. -Guys, guess what!

I can't believe it.

My mom said the school is closed today because it's flooded.

-No way!

-Yeah!

-Holy shit. That's the best news I've ever heard.

♪

-My God, is this ever going to stop?

-Eventually, yes, it will.

But right now, I got 12 classrooms full of water,

all coming from a busted water main.

-What else?

-"What else"?

Principal Cole, I'll show you what else.

-That's unbelievable. That's solid bronze, isn't it?

-Yep. -How did this happen?

-Beth's mom said the boys' locker room was flooded

and they found feces everywhere.

-What are feces? -Baby mice.

-Aww!

♪

♪

-Hey.

Has anyone ever told you that you're sexy?

-I like your boobs. [Both laugh]

-Hey.

-Hey.

-School's cancelled.

-Do you want to walk me home?

-Sure.

♪

-Don't look so freaked. -I'm not.

Just, you should check your backpack.

Those guys love to steal shit. -Nah.

-So, why'd you move here?

-My parents got a divorce.

My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad.

He has emotional problems.

-Oh, I have those, too. What kind of emotional problems

does your dad have?

-He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.

-Oh. Did he go to jail?

-No, he fled. They still can't find him.

But my mom and I had to change our names.

And, uh, I thought Gretchen Ross was pretty cool.

-Yeah, I was in jail once. I mean...

I accidentally burned down this house.

I mean, it was abandoned, but still, I, you know,

I got held back in school

and I can't drive till I'm 21, you know?

But I'm over all that.

I-I-I'm...

painting and stuff.

Writing. I want to be a writer.

Maybe a painter, I don't know. Maybe both.

I'll write a book and draw the pictures.

Then maybe people will understand me.

I don't know, change things.

-Donnie Darko -- what the hell kind of name is that?

It's like some sort of superhero or something.

-What makes you think I'm not?

♪

-Look, I should go.

For physics, Montinoff is having me write this essay --

the greatest invention ever to benefit mankind.

-Well, it -- it's Monnitoff.

But that's easy. Antiseptics.

Like, the whole sanitation thing.

Joseph Lister, 1895.

Before antiseptics, there was no sanitation,

especially in medicine.

-You mean soap?

♪

-Well, I'm really glad school was flooded today.

-Why is that?

-Because you and I would never have had this conversation.

-You're weird.

-Sorry.

-No, that was a compliment.

-Well, look, uh...

Uh, you want to go with me? [Chuckles nervously]

-Where do you want to go?

-No, I mean, like, "go" with me, like, you know, like...

That's what we call it here -- "going together."

-Sure.

-Okay. Hey, where are you going?

-I'm going home.

♪

-[Muttering] Stupid.

"Where are you going?"

-You know, I don't feel comfortable

continuing my physics lecture

for an unexplained and unmotivated scary rabbit

attending Joe Bob's Summer School.

So I'll just point out that when we're first introduced

to Donnie Darko's high school,

we meet all the principal characters in the movie

while Tears for Fears performs "Head Over Heels."

There's something about that sequence

that says at a subconscious level, "Okay, here we go.

New movie."

When "Head Over Heels" starts to play,

it's like a title sequence for a movie.

So could that be a clue? Maybe it is.

Anyway, the producers and the crew

and virtually everybody on the set got upset with Richard Kelly

for spending so much time on that "Head Over Heels" song,

constantly trying to match the images to the words in the song

so that they spent three days shooting that,

and there were grumbles that he was holding up

production in order to shoot a music video

that didn't even advance the plot in any way.

So at the end of those three days,

Kelly and his editor put together a rough cut

of what they had shot, and they took it out to the set,

and they played it against "Head Over Heels,"

and everybody went, "Ah, okay, now I get it,"

because everyone working on the movie

knew how the movie ends.

Okay, that's all I'm saying about that.

Katharine Ross plays Dr. Thurman, back to work

after a 15-year absence from the screen.

She's best known, of course, for "The Graduate"

and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"

and "The Stepford Wives."

And her casting story is kind of funny.

Um, Richard Kelly and his producer

went out to her beachfront home in Malibu to meet with her,

and they started telling her all about the role

and how much they admired her work.

And she said, "Does that mean I have the part?"

And she thought she had to audition,

and they thought they had to beg her to do the part.

But she had read the script and really liked the movie,

which is odd because she had a reputation for being difficult

and for turning down almost everything

that was ever sent to her and for preferring theater to film.

She had worked with John Houseman back

when she was still a student growing up in San Francisco,

and that probably affected her attitude towards movies,

since he was a theater guy who would end up --

he ended up founding the acting department at Juilliard.

At any rate, just goes to show how excited Hollywood was

about "Donnie Darko" before it bombed at Sundance.

Everybody wanted to be part of this movie,

despite Kelly being a first-time director

fresh out of film school.

Same thing with Patrick Swayze

as the self-help guru Jim Cunningham.

He was a pretty big name at the time.

But is that perfect casting or what?

I mean, the sleaze just drips off the screen

with Patrick Swayze.

Okay, scary rabbit, we're going back to the movie.

-33 minutes, 2 seconds.

-What did you say, Harvey?

-Until the end of the world.

-Look, I know you're a scary rabbit and everything,

but that's ridiculous. Back to the flick.

Because Darcy is on Mars by now, lecturing on '90s horror

at the Elon Musk Institute for Weird Science in the year 2024.

I mean, come on.

-You have created a tangential universe.

-Really?

-33 minutes, 2 seconds...

-You know, this movie is already weird enough,

rabbit dude, so boogie on back

to your warren, okay?

-You seem nice.

-Yeah, I'm trapped in an alternate horror host universe.

I could be changing bodies with Svengoolie even as I speak.

I'm scared.

But not because of your cheap makeup,

Mr. Birdbrain Buffoon Bunny Man.

-33 minutes, 2 seconds.

-Stop saying that!

-I'd like to try something new this time.

Have you ever been hypnotized?

-No.

-And when I clap my hands twice, you will wake up.

Do you understand?

-Yes.

-So, tell me about your week.

-I met a girl.

-What is her name?

-Gretchen.

We're going together now.

-Do you still think about girls a lot?

-Yeah.

-How are things going at school?

-I think about girls a lot.

-I asked you about school, Donnie.

-I think about fucking a lot during school.

-What else do you think about during school?

-"Married... with Children."

-You think about your family?

-I just turn down the volume

and think about fucking Christina Applegate.

-I asked you about your family, Donnie.

-No. [Laughs]

I don't think about fucking my family. That's gross.

-I-I'd like to hear about your friend Frank.

♪

♪

-Sam Bylan.

♪

[Chalk tapping]

♪

♪

Donald Darko.

♪

♪

♪

♪

Daye Dennis.

-Hey, you fuck!

Did you tell them that I flooded the school?

-I didn't say shit.

-Yeah, well, that's not what I heard. They think I did it.

-Yeah, well, if you're innocent,

then you have nothing to worry about, right?

-Fuck you! -Aah!

-You know what I think?

I think you did it.

-[Coughs]

[Coughs]

[Gunshot]

-Beer and pussy -- that's all I need.

-We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.

-Smurfette?

-Mm-hmm.

Not some, like, tight-ass Middlesex chick, you know?

Like, this cute little blonde that'll get down and dirty

with the guys like Smurfette does.

-Smurfette doesn't fuck.

-That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs.

Why do you think Papa Smurf made her?

Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.

-No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.

-Okay, well, you know what?

Then she fucks them while Vanity watches, okay?

-What about Papa Smurf?

I mean, he must get into the action?

-Yeah, what he does -- he films the gang-bang.

Later on, he beats off to the tape.

-First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette.

Gargamel did.

She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy

with the intention of destroying the Smurf Village,

but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life

transformed her.

And as for the whole gang-bang scenario,

[scoffs] it just couldn't happen!

Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have...

reproductive organs under those little white pants.

That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf.

You know, what's the point of living

if you don't have a dick?

-Damn it, Donnie, why -- why d'you gotta get so smart on us?

[Horn honks]

-Grandma Death.

-Excuse me! Excuse me!

Please stay off the road, Miss Sparrow.

If this happens again, I am going to call Social Services.

-I hate that Miss Farmer. She's such a fucking bitch.

-Watch out. There you are. That's a girl.

-How old isGrandma Death?

-101.

She does the same thing every day.

Just walks back and forth, and back and forth

to the mailbox.

Nothing ever in there.

-Oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh.

She goes -- She's going back to the box.

We may still have mail.

-Mail, mail, mail. -Here it is.

-And... -This could be it. Oh...!

Oh, no dice, Grandma. -No!

-No. Sorry. Sorry.

-Someone ought to write that bitch.

-Authorities continued their search today

for a suspect in the Middlesex Ridge School vandalism.

The private school has asked for public donations

to help restore its beloved mascot,

known only as The Mongrel. In other news...

[Indistinct conversations]

-In cooperation with the county police,

we have begun an active investigation

into the cause of the flooding.

And our suspects include several of our own students.

-I want to know why this filth

is being taught to our children.

[Audience murmuring]

-[Breathing heavily]

-Kitty, I would appreciate... -Let the woman speak,

for God's sake! -...if you would wait --

-Dr. Cole, not only am I a teacher,

but I am also a parent of a Middlesex child.

Therefore, I am the only person here

who transcends the parent-teacher bridge.

-Don't worry.

You got away with it.

-I have in my hand

Graham Greene's "The Destructors."

This short story

is part of my daughter's English assignment.

-We're with you, Kitty! -In this story,

several children destroy

an elderly man's house from inside out.

[Eerie humming]

♪

-How can you do that?

[Gasps]

-And how do they do this?

They flood the house by breaking through a water main.

-I can do anything I want.

And so can you.

-We pay good money for this school for our children!

-And I think that this garbage should be removed!

-Excuse me.

What is the real issue here? The PTA doesn't ban books.

-The PTA is here to acknowledge

that pornography is being taught in our curriculum!

-It's meant to be ironic.

-Excuse me. You need to go back to grad school.

-Why did you make me flood the school?

♪

-They are in great danger.

-We have rights here! -Kitty...

do you even know who Graham Greene is?

-[Scoffs] I think we have all seen "Bonanza."

[Laughter and murmuring]

-Well, um... [Applause]

-...while we are on other topics...

-Where do you come from?

-Do you believe in time travel?

-Who are you talking to?

-I was just taking my pills, Sam.

-It is time to breathe.

-Thank you, Jim Cunningham. -Thank you, Jim Cunningham.

-Thank you, Jim Cunningham.

-So now let us begin Lifeline Exercise number one.

Please press stop now.

-As you can see,

the Lifeline is divided into two polar extremes,

fear and love.

Fear is in the negative-energy spectrum.

And love is in the positive-energy spectrum.

-No, duh.

-Excuse me?

"No, duh" is a product of fear.

Now, on each card is a character dilemma

which applies to the Lifeline.

Please -- Take this.

Thank you.

Please read each character dilemma aloud

and place an "X" on the Lifeline in the appropriate place.

Cherita?

-"Juanita has an important math test today.

She's known about the test for several weeks,

but has not studied.

In order to keep from failing her class,

Juanita decides that she will cheat on the math test."

-Good. Good. Very good.

Uh, Mr. Darko.

-"Ling Ling finds a wallet on the ground filled with money.

She takes the wallet to the address on the driver's license

but keeps the money inside the wallet."

[Scoffs] I-I'm sorry, Miss Farmer.

I don't get this.

-Just place an "X" on the Lifeline

in the appropriate place.

-No, I mean, I know what to do. I just -- I don't get this.

You can't lump things into two categories.

Things aren't that simple.

-The Lifeline is divided that way.

-Well, life isn't that simple.

I mean, who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet

and keeps the money?

It has nothing to do with either fear or love.

-Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.

-Okay. But you're not listening to me.

There are other things that need to be

taken into account here,

like the whole spectrum of human emotion.

You can't just lump everything into these two categories

and then just deny everything else!

-If you don't complete the assignment,

you'll get a zero for the day.

-Donald, let me preface this by saying

that your Iowa Test scores are...

intimidating.

So...

let's go over this again.

What exactly did you say to Miss Farmer?

-I'll tell you what he said.

He asked me to forcibly insert the Lifeline exercise card

into my anus!

-[Laughs and cough]

-...our modern times.

My political attitudes are forthright,

and if there's a vice presidential candidate

worthy of my vote, it has to be Dan Quayle.

-Nobody cares about responsibility,

morality, family values.

-Kitty...

Excuse us, please.

They've suspended him from after-school activities

for the next six months.

Ever since this jet-engine fiasco,

I honestly don't know what's gotten into --

-Rose, I'll tell you this because our daughters have been

on the dance team together for two years

and I respect you as a woman,

but after witnessing your son's behavior this afternoon,

I have significant doubts about your...

Our paths through life must be righteous.

I urge you to go home and look in the mirror

and pray that your son doesn't succumb to the path of fear.

[Eerie music plays]

♪

-[Laughs] Wait. Do you remember

that weird gym teacher, Mrs. Farmer?

Yeah. Okay, well, my brother told her

to shove a book up her ass today.

And then my parents just bought him all this new shit.

Yeah, I know. I wish a jet engine would fall in my room.

-I can show you the way.

[Bell tolling]

[Indistinct conversations]

-Dr. Monnitoff. -Donnie.

-Um, I know this is gonna sound kind of weird, but, uh,

do you -- do you know anything about, um, time travel?

♪

-Ah! A wormhole with an Einstein-Rosen bridge,

which is theoretically a wormhole in space

controlled by man.

So, according to Hawking,

a wormhole may be able to provide a shortcut

for jumping between two distant regions of space time.

-So, in order to travel back in time,

you have to have a big spaceship or something

that can travel faster than the speed of light.

-Theoretically.

-And be able to find one of these wormholes.

-The basic principles of time travel are there.

You've got your vessel and your portal.

And your vessel can be just about anything,

most likely a spacecraft.

-Like a DeLorean?

-Metal craft of any kind.

-You know, I love that movie, the way they shot it.

It's so, um...

like, futuristic, you know?

-Listen, um...don't tell anybody that I gave you this.

Woman who wrote this used to teach here.

She was a nun many years before that, but, uh...

then overnight she just, uh...

she became this entirely different person.

She, uh, up and left the church. She wrote this book.

She started teaching science

right here at Middlesex.

-"The Philosophy of Time Travel."

Roberta Sparrow?

-That's right.

-[Chuckles] Come on.

Roberta Sparrow?

♪

♪

Roberta Sparrow.

Grandma Death.

It's called "The Philosophy of Time Travel."

-What does philosophy have to do with time travel?

-Let me see. -Guess who wrote it.

-Who?

Roberta Sparrow?

Huh! She wrote a book.

-Grandma Death wrote a book.

-That's a terrible nickname.

-We almost hit her with the car the other day.

-She lives up there in that piece-of-crap house,

and you know she's loaded. She's...

-Yeah, you're right.

She used to be known for her gem collection.

Kids used to go up there all the time

and try to steal stuff from her.

She became a total recluse.

Huh! I didn't know she was alive

till we damn near knocked her down the other day.

-She was just standing there in the middle of the road,

frozen. So I-I got out of the car

and I walked over to see if she was okay.

And she leaned over and whispered in my ear.

-What did she say?

-I mean, I think Frank wants me to go talk to her, you know,

because the last time I saw him

he asked me if I knew about time travel,

and she wrote a book about it,

so that can't be, like, a coincidence, right?

-Donnie, what did Roberta Sparrow say to you?

-She said that every living creature on Earth dies alone.

-How did that make you feel?

-It reminded me of my dog Callie.

She died when I was eight and...

she crawled underneath the --

the porch.

-To die.

-To be alone.

-Do you feel alone right now?

-I don't know.

I mean, I'd like to believe I'm not, but I just...

I've just never seen any proof, so I...

I just don't debate it anymore, you know?

It's like I could spend my whole life

debating it over and over again

and weighing the pros and cons,

and in the end I still wouldn't have any proof,

so I just -- I just don't debate it anymore.

[Chuckles] It's absurd.

-The search for God is absurd?

-It is if everyone dies alone.

-Does that scare you?

-I don't want to be alone.

-You notice the movie is full of things that Donnie sees,

but no one else can see,

or things they see but they don't notice,

don't attach any importance to?

Like Grandma Death,

played by the legendary Broadway actress Patience Cleveland.

In the movie, she's the author of "A Brief History of Time,"

which Richard Kelly published on the internet

at the time the movie came out,

and which partially explains what's going on in the movie.

In real life, Patience Cleveland

did write a book.

She wrote the children's book "The Lion is Busy."

Um, Patience Cleveland was one of those actresses

who worked right up until the time of her death in 2004.

I always think those are the real actors,

the ones who continue to act after they've already --

they've been the starlet, they've played the ingenue,

they've played the femme fatale, they've played the wise mother,

they've played this scary older woman,

and then in their declining years, they're still working.

Um, actors like that are rare.

They can make all those transitions and still thrive.

Anyway, many of you will remember Patience

from "Psycho III" as Sister Margaret,

but the -- her credits go back to working

with the great Shakespearean actor Maurice Evans

in the '50s on live television.

And then she was opposite Anthony Perkins on Broadway

when they did "Look Homeward, Angel."

And even before that, her mentor was Hallie Flanagan,

who was a -- nobody remembers her.

She was the founder of the Federal Theatre Project

and a longtime head of the drama department at Vassar.

Okay, so Frank the rabbit is telling Donny to do bad thing.

-[ Chuckles] -Not funny.

We know Donny is an arsonist.

Now we know he's broken a water main to shut down the school.

He's under suspicion as the vandal,

and he's in big trouble because he told the P.E. teacher,

played by Kitty Farmer,

to stick the Lifeline exercise card up her ass.

This is after he's, you know, killed time with his friends

by discussing the feasibility of Smurf gang bangs.

So, Donny is an odd duck. He is an unreliable narrator,

and we're seeing things through his eyes,

and we're starting to...

like him, I guess, and trust him

because he calls out Kitty Farmer

on her love-versus-fear description

of all human behavior, which she got from

self-help guy Patrick Swayze.

Uh, Kitty Farmer is played by veteran character actor

Beth Grant -- Alabama gal who has done liter--

literally hundreds of extremely varied roles.

Um, another thorough professional.

But we don't totally trust Donnie Darko

because he seems to be entranced by Frank the rabbit.

-13 minutes, 55 seconds.

-I'm really getting sick of that.

-[ Chuckles]

I will guide you.

-I really thought Darcy would be back by now.

-She must return

in 13 minutes, 55 seconds.

-Stop! Okay?

All this high school stuff is based on

Midlothian High School in Midlothian, Virginia,

which is where Richard Kelly grew up.

It's a sprawling suburban --

really exurban area west of Richmond,

and they went to great pains to re-create

the Richmond suburbs without ever leaving L.A.

So the homes are in the wealthy part of Long Beach,

and the high school itself,

called Middlesex High School in the movie,

is actually Loyola High School on Venice Boulevard,

which you may recognize from other movies

because it's also the University of Zurich

Institute of Medicine in "Re-Animator."

Ah. It's really hard to talk about this movie

as it develops without doing spoilers,

so I'm gonna shut up and roll the flick.

-13 minutes, 55 seconds.

-Never work with children or animals.

-[ Laughs]

-Or actors wearing masks.

-13 minutes, 55 seconds.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, in about 5.6 seconds,

I'm gonna go Elmer Fudd on your ass if you don't shut up.

[Laughter]

♪

[Classical music plays]

♪

-And so his tapes have made me realize

that for the last 39 years,

I have been a prisoner of my own fear.

-Fear? -[Sighs]

Rose, you have got to meet this Jim Cunningham.

I can't believe he's single.

-And it has been a disappointing night indeed

for these Super Bowl champions.

-You're right, Dan.

Coach Joe Gibbs is on the sidelines,

water dripping off his glasses, but he's gotta be thinking,

"What happened? What went wrong tonight?"

-And here's the kick.

-Oh! -It's no good.

-Shit. We need a quarterback. -We need a miracle.

-We need to go for a safety.

-Well, Mark Rypien certainly has some big shoes to fill,

that's for certain. -He sure does.

And so, what the future holds for this Super Bowl MVP,

we're just gonna have to wait and see.

-♪ Ave Maria♪ -[Sighs]

You guys want anything? -No.

-...once again with a display of amazing speed.

-I'm gonna get a beer.

-♪ Ave♪

♪ Maria♪

♪ Ave Maria♪

-Deep into the end zone, it's gonna be brought out

to the 20-yard line.

It'll be first down and 10.

-Good evening, ladies and ghouls,

join us at the Middlesex Pavilion Hall

for the Middlesex Halloween party.

[ Laughs]

-[Chuckles]

[Down-tempo music plays]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Jet engine roaring]

♪

-What if you could go back in time

and take all those hours of pain and darkness

and replace them with something better?

-Like images or what?

-Yeah, like a Hawaiian sunset or the Grand Canyon.

Just things that remind you of how beautiful the world --

-You know, we've been going together for like two weeks.

-Yeah?

-Well, I, uh...I...

-You want to kiss me?

-We-- I-I-I'm sorry, I... -Look, Donnie, wait. I just...

-Well, I like you a lot. -I just want it to be

at a time when...it...

-When what?

-When it reminds me just...

-When it reminds you how beautiful the world can be?

-Yeah.

And right now there's some fat guy over there

staring at us.

-Thank you for seeing us at such, um, late notice.

We -- We both felt that it was time for us

to come in and discuss...

-What I think is going on with your son.

-Yes.

Um...

Well, he's, um...

Uh, you know about his past, and he was suspended from school

for insulting his gym teacher.

-Well, I'm not really sure that's a good example, Rose.

I think he had just cause to insult her.

-Rose, let me just lay out what I believe is happening here.

-Mm.

-Donnie's aggressive behavior,

his increased detachment from reality,

seem to stem from his inability to cope

with the forces in the world

that he perceives to be threatening.

Has he ever told you about his friend Frank?

-Frank?

-Yes, the giant bunny rabbit.

-The what?

[Thunder rumbles]

-I don't recall him ever having mentioned a rabbit.

-Donnie is experiencing

what is commonly called a daylight hallucination.

-[Chuckles]

-This is a common occurrence among paranoid schizophrenics.

-What can we do?

-I would like to, um, do more hypnotherapy...

...and increase his medication.

-[Tapping and grunting]

[Thunder cracks]

-Whatever will help him, really, is...

That's why we're here.

We just would like him to experience some relief.

So if you think that more medication will do that,

then I think we should, uh, give it a try.

[Bell tolling]

[Eerie music plays]

♪

-Donnie Darko.

-I know.

[Both chuckle]

[Applause, easy-listening music plays]

-Good morning, you Mongrels!

-Good morning. -Is that all the gusto

you can muster? I said, "Good morning!"

-Good morning!

-Now, that's a tiny, tiny bit better.

But I can still sense some students out there

who are actually afraid to say "Good morning!"

-Good morning!

-Yeah, that's what I like to hear!

There's entirely too many young men and women today

who are completely paralyzed by their fears.

They surrender their bodies

to the temptation and destruction

of drugs, alcohol, and premarital sex.

Now, I'm gonna tell you a little story today.

It's a heartbreakingly sad story about a young man

whose life was completely destroyed

by these instruments of fear,

a young man searching for love in all the wrong places.

His name was Frank.

[ Feedback whines] -Hi. Um, my stepsister, like,

I sometimes worry that she eats too much.

-Shut up, Kim!

-Oh, sweetheart, sweetheart, please.

-How can I decide what I wanna be when I grow up?

-Oh! That's a hard one.

[ Feedback whines]

-What do I do to learn how to fight?

-"What do I do to learn how to fight?"

Son, violence is a product of fear.

Learn to truly love yourself.

-Okay. -Okay. Get yourself up here!

-Okay.

-All right!

-Good morning. -Good morning!

-Um...how much are they paying you to be here?

[Muffled laughter]

-Uh...excuse me? -[Chuckles]

-What is your name, son?

-Gerald.

-Well, Gerald, I think you're afraid.

-Are you telling us this stuff so we can buy your book?

Because I gotta tell you, if you are,

that was some of the worst advice I ever heard.

Do you see how sad this is?

Do you want your sister to lose weight?

Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating Twinkies,

and maybe go out for field hockey.

You know what? No one ever knows what

they want to be when they grow up.

You know, it takes a little while to find that out.

Right, Jim?

And you...

Yeah, you.

You sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet?

Well, you know what? Maybe you should lift some weights

or, uh, take a karate lesson,

and the next time he tries to do it,

you kick him in the balls.

[Audience exclaiming]

-[Chuckles] Son...do you see this?

-Right? -This is an anger prisoner,

a textbook example.

Do you see the fear, people?

This boy is scared to death of the truth.

Son, it breaks my heart to say this,

but I believe you're a very troubled and confused young man.

I believe you are searching for the answers

in all the wrong places.

-[Chuckles] You're right, actually.

I am -- I'm pretty troubled and I'm pretty confused.

But I -- And I'm afraid, really, really afraid.

Really afraid, but I-I...

I think you're the fucking Antichrist.

[Audience gasping and exclaiming]

-Get him out of here! -Get out of here!

-Who do you think you are? -Whoo!

-[Whistling]

[Cheers and applause]

-It's amazing, you know?

The man thinks he's telling the truth,

and everything he says is just a fucking lie.

Everything he says!

Everyone thinks he's so rad.

He's such a fucking chud. Everything he does...

-Are you okay?

-Yeah. -Sit down. Calm down.

-You ever hear of Grandma Death?

-Who?

"The Philosophy of Time Travel."

What is this?

-She wrote it.

I'm...

I'm seeing stuff...

like, a lot of really messed-up stuff.

And there's chapters in that book

that describe the stuff I've been seeing,

and it can't just be a coincidence.

-Well, each vessel travels along a vector

through space time, along its center of gravity.

-Like a spear.

-I beg your pardon?

-Like -- Like a spear that comes out of your chest.

-Um...sure. Yeah.

And in order for the vessel to travel through time,

it's got to find a portal, or in this case a wormhole or --

-Well, could these portals, um...

Could these portals just appear, uh, anywhere, anytime?

-I think that's highly unlikely.

No, I think what you're talking about is, um,

an act of God.

-Well, if God controls time, then all time is pre-decided.

-I'm not following you.

-Look, every living thing follows along a set path.

And if you could see your path or channel,

then you could see into the future, right?

Like, uh, that's a form of time travel.

-Well, you're -- you're contradicting yourself, Donnie.

If we were able to see

our destinies manifest themselves visually,

then we would be given a choice to betray our chosen destinies.

And the mere fact that this choice exists

would make all preformed destiny, uh, come to an end.

-Not if you travel within God's channel.

-Um...

I'm not going to be able to continue this conversation.

-Why? -I could lose my job.

-Okay.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Chuckles]

-Now you know where he lives.

♪

-Wow. Did Frank the rabbit just suggest

that Donnie Darko go kill Jim Cunningham?

Now, the movie's getting way deep into theology,

too, because Donnie makes that speech about predestination

and free will and it's all in the context of time travel.

And I've heard this one before.

If you have this box that contains all of space and time,

you know, from the beginning of the universe

with the Big Bang to the end of the universe

when it all blows up and goes to space dust

or disappears or whatever.

So everything

in time and space is in this box,

except...

God is the one thing outside the box so he can see the whole box.

It's one continuous moment,

so if you're looking from the inside of the box,

you have free will.

Outside the box, it's predestination

because all the decisions have already been made, right?

[Whirring and beeping]

-Ugh!

-Darcy, what the fuck?!

-Hard ticket to Hawaii. Deadly Frisbee kill.

-Why did you kill the scary rabbit?

-I was just with him in Atlanta a few hours ago.

He was in both universes, so he's a threat.

-What are you talking about?

We build you a wormhole, the farthest you can go

is Atlanta? What year were you there?

-July 11th, 1985.

The day of the meeting at Coca-Cola world headquarters.

-So 39 years and 40 miles.

That's all we get? Shortest wormhole ever.

-But look at this. We got rid of this.

-What is that?

-That's New Coke, baby. We got rid of this.

-This is what you decided to do on your day

in the tangent universe?

-How much do you love Coke?

-Well, not enough to kill for it.

You killed it -- why did you kill the scary rabbit?

-Well, he was attempting to switch formulas.

-Why?

-To bring about the end of the world.

-He felt selling New Coke would end the world?

-Selling New Coke that people believed was old Coke.

-I'm actually more of a Dr Pepper guy,

to tell you the truth.

And in fact, it's kind of a sore point with me

that the invention of Dr Pepper

predates the invention of Coke by a full year,

and it was invented in Texas, also, like God intended, so...

-In 1985, people didn't care that much about Dr Pepper.

It was all Coke or Pepsi.

And I wanted to go back and take the taste test.

-So were you Coke or Pepsi?

-There's only Coke. I'm from South Carolina.

That's what you order.

You say Coke to mean any soft drink, so Coke.

-Really? Texas isn't quite that bad

because we also -- we had another one.

We had RC Cola, better known as ROC Cola.

So how would I order an ROC Cola in South Carolina?

-You'd say, "Can I have a Coke?"

And they say, "What kind of Coke?"

And you would say, "ROC Cola."

It's like that. -Okay.

-"What kind of Coke do you want?" "Sprite."

-All right. So if --

but you mean that if you had not gone back in time

in 2024, we would all be drinking New Coke.

-Correct. And you're welcome.

-But New Coke -- I remember it was sweeter

than -- than old Coke, right?

-Right. It won all the blind taste tests,

but then the public rejected it.

-So if you gave people New Coke

when they didn't know what they were drinking, they liked it.

But if you told them it was New Coke, they hated it.

-Correct.

-So why would they start making old Coke again

if more people liked the taste of New Coke than old Coke?

-You sound just like the Coca-Cola CEO did

two hours ago.

-You were talking to the CEO of Coca-Cola

two hours ago?

-We persuaded him to go back to old Coke.

-You persuaded him?

-We knocked him out.

We took the formulas on his desk,

gave them to the chief marketing officer,

and they called a press conference.

-A press conference for what?

-That old Coke is back.

-When? When -- When did this happen?

-Today. July 11th, 1985.

-Damn, Darcy.

But I still don't understand why the scary rabbit had to die.

-He was New Coke all the way.

-Why didn't they just sell Mexican Coke?

Why -- Why is Mexican Coke

so much better than Coke, by the way?

-Because Mexican Coke uses real, like, sugar cane.

And American Coke uses high-fructose corn syrup.

-What about Diet Coke? What's in Diet Coke?

-Aspartame. -That sounds nasty.

-You can also get Diet Coke with Splenda instead.

-I don't even know what Splenda is.

-Sucralose. -Really?

What -- What happened to Tab? They used to make Tab.

-They don't make Tab anymore.

-Had the taste of a rusty car door.

-They shut down the last Tab plant during the pandemic.

-Really? Did Tab have Splenda in it?

-Saccharin. -Saccharin.

So what's Coke Zero? -Aspartame.

-So confusing.

If Diet Coke is aspartame and Coke Zero is aspartame,

why do we need both Diet Cokes?

-Coke Zero tastes like old Coke, and Diet Coke is lighter.

Diet Coke is New Coke?

[Chuckles] Is that what you're saying?

-The one lasting legacy of New Coke

just might be the lighter taste of Diet Coke.

-Anyway, my question is, how come it's always Coke and Pepsi?

Pepsi and Coke?

What happened to the other 9,000 soft drinks

that have been invented?

-Check the history books.

Seriously, look at the Coca-Cola press conference

on July 11th, 1985.

-I do have a book with chronologic-- what?

What day? -July 11th, 1985.

-Really?

Oh, my God.

-Ha.

-Roberto Goizueta.

-Notice what he's wearing.

-I noticed! The artifact!

-The artifact! -He's wearing the artifact.

Can you put that up? -Mission accomplished.

-Can you put this up, Austin. -Yeah, I'll put it up.

-All right, you see what -- where I am?

-Look at that. -Mission accomplished.

-Damn right. -He's a legend.

They named the business school after him at Emory University.

He's immortal. And now you're immortal, Darcy.

-Ha! Why, thank you.

-Um, I gotta lick myself.

All right, back to the movie.

But you know it's true.

There used to be so many different soft drinks.

What ever happened to Blue Sky soda?

-Coke bought that one. -Ah!

-What about root beer? People used to drink that a lot.

Like Barq's root beer.

-Coke bought that one. -Really?

-Mm-hmm. -How about 7Up?

-Pepsi bought it.

-Good grief. -Mountain Dew?

-Pepsi bought it. -Sprite?

-Coke bought that a long time ago.

-Do Coke and Pepsi own every soft drink?

-Pretty much.

-I mean, that seems anti-competitive.

At least we have one Texas drink left -- Dr Pepper.

-Pepsi bought it. -No way!

-Way. Pepsi is a North Carolina drink.

New Bern, North Carolina, 1893.

-Are you telling me North Carolina

stole our heritage?

-Uh, if you say, "Do y'all want a Coke?",

you can answer, "Yeah, I'll have a Dr Pepper."

-No, I would never say that.

What would Donnie Darko drink?

-Are you trying to save this bit?

-[Laughs] Yeah, I was trying to save this bit.

-Good luck with that.

-Oh, Donnie Darko would say,

"Why are you people talking about New Coke?

It has nothing to do with anything.

You talk meaningless nonsense and you help no one.

You are the Antichrist!" -True.

-That's what Donnie Darko would say.

This movie is making us stupid, though.

-Speak for yourself, man.

-New Coke tasted better, but the public rejected it

because there was a rip in the space-time continuum.

-Maybe. You want a Coke?

-No. Not really.

-After all I did. [Laughter]

♪

-And they grow out of our... chest, solar plexus?

-Just like she described in the book.

The way they moved and they smelled, it's like...

like they're workers...

...assigned to each one of us. It's...

They just -- They're like liquid.

You know, and I-I followed it into my parents' bedroom.

-What did you find?

-Nothing.

So we call them IMGs.

-Infant Memory Generators.

-Yeah, so the idea is that you buy these glasses

for your infant, and they wear them at night when they sleep.

-But inside the glasses are these slide photographs,

and each photograph is of something peaceful or beautiful,

whatever the parents want to put inside.

-And what effect do you think that would this have

on an infant?

-Well, the thing is, nobody remembers their infancy.

Anybody who says they do is lying, so...

we think this will help develop memory earlier in life.

-Yeah. -And did you stop and think

that maybe infants need darkness,

that maybe darkness is part of their natural development?

-No. -Mnh-mnh.

-Yeah.

-What if the parents, like, put in pictures of Satan

or, like, dead people, crap like that?

-Is that what you'd show your kids?

-Uh, well, I mean,

didn't your dad, like, stab your mom?

-[Mimics knife screeching]

-Get out.

[School bell rings]

-Gretchen! I'm sorry.

Gretchen! Gretchen.

I'm sorry about those guys.

♪

♪

♪

♪

Two for "Evil Dead," please.

-That'll be $2.

[ Suspenseful music plays]

♪

[Banging]

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Opera music plays]

♪

-Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?

♪

-Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

♪

-Take it off.

♪

♪

♪

♪

What happened to your eye?

♪

-I'm so sorry.

♪

-Why do they call you Frank?

-It is the name of my father.

And his father before me.

-Frank...

When's this gonna stop?

-You should already know that.

-[Chuckles]

-I want you to watch the movie screen.

There's something I want to show you.

♪

Have you ever seen a portal?

[Clock chimes]

♪

♪

Burn it to the ground.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[ Woman singing gentle melody]

♪

♪

-Okay. Now, girls, I want you to concentrate.

Failure is not an option.

And, Bethany, if you feel the need to vomit up there,

just swallow it.

-Okay, Mom.

-Hey, you guys, good luck out there.

♪

♪

-[Whistling]

Get off the stage, Cherita!

[Cheers and applause]

-You suck!

[Cheers and applause continue]

-Well done. -[Whistling]

[Cheering]

-Now, that was really something.

Thank you, Cherita Chen, with "Autumn Angel."

And now the moment we've all been waiting for is here.

It is my very distinct pleasure to introduce to you

Emily Bates, Suzy Bailey,

Samantha Darko, Beth Farmer, and Joanie James.

They are Sparkle Motion.

[Cheering]

[Duran Duran's "Notorious"plays]

-♪ No-No-Notorious, Notorious ♪

♪

♪ No-No-Notorious ♪

♪

♪

♪ I can't read about it ♪

♪ Burns the skin from your eyes ♪

♪ I'll do fine without it ♪

♪ Here's one you don't compromise ♪

♪ Lies come hard to disguise ♪

♪ Let me to fight it out ♪

♪ Not wild about it ♪

♪ Lay your seedy judgments ♪

♪ Who says they're part of our lives? ♪

♪ You own the money, you control the witness ♪

♪ I hear you're lonely, don't monkey with my business ♪

♪ You pay the profits to justify the reasons ♪

♪ I heard your promise, but I don't believe it ♪

♪ That's why I've done it again ♪

[Ominous music fades in]

♪ No-No-Notorious ♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

-Hooray, Sparkle Motion!

♪

♪

[Camera shutter clicking]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[ Person screams]

[ Up-tempo music plays]

♪

-How long was I asleep for?

-Whole movie.

♪

♪

-How cool is it that Frank the rabbit

opens up a portal in the middle of "Evil Dead"?

Uh, Sam Raimi gave permission to Richard Kelly

to use "Evil Dead" and to mess with it like that.

And this is when the movie goes bonkers.

Um, first of all, let's talk Sparkle Motion.

-Yeah, I love Sparkle Motion.

-[Laughs] Everybody loves Sparkle Motion.

So Richard Kelly is doing send-ups

of the self-help craziness going on in the '80s

and the child-performance craziness going on in the '80s,

although we don't even think that's crazy anymore.

Aren't there four or five reality shows now

based on "Dance Moms"

and little girls doing Sparkle Motion routines?

But, um, why would you take time

in the most heavy part of the plot,

where Donnie has been diagnosed by Dr. Thurman

as being a paranoid schizophrenic,

and where he's gone ballistic on the force-feeding,

feel-good courses that are taught by Patrick Swayze,

and where the rabbit is getting more and more aggressive

and egging Donnie on to more and more brutal acts of violence --

although we do know that Donnie was already an arsonist.

He admitted as much to Gretchen --

and where the Gretchen love story is peaking,

why would you stop the story in its tracks

to have an extended interpretive-dance sequence

with Cherita, the chubby girl, and then Sparkle Motion, Darcy?

-Because it's "Donnie Darko"?

-Exactly. -Yay!

-The world has gone mad, and the only sane person is

the person the world thinks ismad.

The sad thing about Sparkle Motion

is that Richard Kelly had to fire two of those little girls.

They couldn't really do the dance moves,

no matter how much they rehearsed.

-Aw! -And that had to be brutal.

But, um, Kelly wanted the routine to really kill

so that we like it in spite of thinking how twisted it is,

and twisted mainly because of the way

Kitty Farmer talks about it.

Anyway, if you're watching this movie for the first time,

you gotta be thinking, "Where the hell am I?

Where is this going?"

And, um, what did you think the first time you watched it?

-"What the fuck?" basically.

-Exactly. Yeah. It's like the --

the "What the fuck?" factor is so strong,

and yet you keep watching.

There's -- There's an underlying power

to the way it works on you.

And that's why people watch over and over and over again.

I'm gonna bring out Bob Berney in a minute.

-Whoo! -And we're gonna analyze

exactly why the movie works.

But right now, let's get back to the destruction

of everything in Middlesex.

Uh, Donnie Darko is not just voting for Dukakis now.

He's gonna conduct a whole reign of righteous terror.

The movie's about to get real religious,

so let's hang in there and roll it.

I remember in junior high, there was always one kid

who was sent to the counselor all the time, you know?

Not sent to the principal.

You know, if I got in trouble, I was sent to the principal.

But then there were these kids

who were never sent to the principal.

They were sent to the counselor.

So we eventually decided they were crazy.

You know, they were essentially being told they were psychos,

and so they needed help, not punishment.

-I was sent to the principal andthe counselor.

-Oh, wow. Double-bad kid.

-[Laughs] Maybe.

-When you got into a fight, you never wanted to fight

the kid who was sent to the counselor.

The kid sent to the principal's office at the time,

he might be bigger -- bigger than you, you know,

but he was not crazy.

You did not want to fight a kid who was crazy,

no matter how small he was,

because I saw people make that mistake,

and it's terrible.

-I could be crazy. -Really?

-Yeah. -I don't doubt that at all.

-[Laughs] Thanks. -But -- But I saw kids --

Henderson Junior High School is where it was.

I saw kids who -- who had no survival instinct.

They would literally pound on you

until their arms were broken and so they -- you know,

and they couldn't pound anymore.

So they could be the scrawniest kid in the class,

and they could beat up the captain of the football team.

-I know exactly what you're talking about.

-And that is what "Donnie Darko" is about.

-I totally get that.

-Darko indeed.

Dark as fuck.

-Darkoas fuck.

[Laughter]

[School bell rings]

[Radio chatter]

-Chaps, looks like we got another room back here.

-The blaze was extinguished sometime after 8:00 last night.

Now, firefighters discovered what has been referred to

as a "kiddie porn dungeon."

Cunningham, who has become a recent celebrity

for his books and motivational tapes,

was arrested early this morning...

-Oh, my God!

-...while at Sarasota Heights Country Club.

Arson has not been ruled out

as part of the cause of the fire.

Now a group of Cunning Vision employees...

-Oh, my God. Dad played golf with that guy.

-...vehemently denied the alleged link

to a child pornography publishing circuit.

In a vicious statement,

Connie attacked the Middlesex Fire Department officials,

claiming a vast conspiracy.

-I'm sorry, Karen,

but we don't think the methods you've undertaken here

are appropriate.

-With all due respect, sir,

what exactly about my methods do you find inappropriate?

-I don't have time to get into a debate about this, Karen.

I believe I've made myself clear.

-You call this clarity?

I don't think that you have a clue

what it's like to communicate with these kids.

We are losing them to apathy.

To this prescribed nonsense.

They're slipping away.

-I am sorry that you have failed.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment.

You can finish out the week.

♪

-Fuck!

♪

♪

-Good afternoon.

It gives me great pleasure to announce

that the Middlesex Ridge School Dance Team

has been invited to perform on Epic Band's "Star Search '88"

in Los Angeles, California.

♪

♪

♪

[Doorbell ringing]

-No, it was ridiculous. I'll call you back.

[Phone beeps]

-Rose.

-Kitty.

-Rose, I'm sure that you're aware

of the horrible allegations against Jim Cunningham.

-I know. I saw it on TV.

Something about a kiddie porn dungeon.

-Oh, please, please! Don't use those words!

It's obviously some kind of conspiracy

to destroy an innocent man,

and I have taken it upon myself

to spearhead the Jim Cunningham defense campaign.

Rose, I have to appear at his arraignment tomorrow morning.

And as you know, the girls are scheduled to leave

for Los Angeles in the morning.

Now, as their coach, I was the obvious choice

to chaperone them on their trip, but --.

-But now you can't go.

-Yes. -Hmm.

-Now, believe me, of all the other mothers,

I would never dream of asking you.

But none of the other mothers are available to go.

-I don't know, kitty.

It's a bad weekend. Eddie's in New York.

-Rose! I don't know if you realize

what an opportunity this is for our daughters!

This has been a dream of Samantha's

and -- and all of ours for a long time.

I made her lead dancer!

[Voice breaking] Sometimes I doubt your commitment

to Sparkle Motion!

♪

♪

-[Sighs]

Elizabeth will be in charge.

She'll drive you to therapy.

And if you need anything, you promise me

that you will call Dr. Thurman?

-How does it feel to have a wacko for a son?

-It feels wonderful.

♪

♪

♪

♪

-So what do I tell the other kids when they ask about you?

-Tell them that everything is gonna be just fine.

-What's "cellar door"?

-[Sighs] This famous linguist once said that,

of all the phrases in the English language,

of all the endless combinations of words in all of history,

that "cellar door" is the most beautiful.

-"Cellar door."

♪

[Sighs]

♪

♪

I promise that, one day,

everything's gonna be better for you.

-Shut up!

♪

♪

-I want to talk about your past today.

-No.

-I want to talk about you and your parents.

-They didn't buy me what I wanted for Christmas.

-What did you want for Christmas that year?

-Hungry Hungry Hippos.

-How did you feel, being denied these Hungry Hungry Hippos?

-Regret.

-What else makes you feel regret?

-That I did it again.

-You did it again?

-I flooded my school,

and I burned down that pervert's house.

[Laughs]

I only have a few days left before they catch me.

-Did Frank tell you to do these things?

-I have to obey him. He saved my life.

I have to obey him or I'll be left all alone.

And then...

And then I won't be able to figure out

what this is all about.

I won't be able to know his master plan.

-Do you mean God's master plan?

Do you now believe in God?

-I have the power to build a time machine.

-How is that possible?

How is time travel possible, Donnie?

-"Time's up," Frank said.

-When is this going to happen?

-Soon.

[Whimpering]

Soon.

♪

[Breathing raggedly]

♪

-What is going to happen?

-Frank is gonna kill.

-Who is he going to kill?

Who is he going to kill, Donnie?

-I can see him right now!

♪

The sky's gonna open up.

♪

-If the sky were to suddenly open up,

there would be no law, there would be no rule.

There would only be you and your memories,

the choices you've made

and the people you've touched.

If this world were to end,

there would only be you and Him

and no one else.

-[Sobbing]

♪

-[Claps hands] -[Gasps]

Hey.

-I got in.

[Laughs]

I'm going to Harvard.

-Hey, we should totally throw a party.

I mean, mom and dad are gone

and, like, it's Halloween, Carnival.

We could totally get away with it.

-Okay. But it has to be small, all right?

-What you guys got? -Nothing good.

-Happy Halloween!

[Whooping, rock music playing]

-Yeah, let's party!

♪

[Laughter and chatter]

♪

[Doorbell ringing]

♪

-We got eggs, water balloons,

and a dozen rolls of toilet paper.

-I stole four beers from my dad.

-We got a keg.

-Keg beer is for pussies.

♪

[Phone ringing]

[Beep]

-Rose, this is Lilian Thurman.

It is extremely important that you call me

as soon as you get this message. Thank you.

[Sighs]

♪

-Hey. -Hey.

♪

You okay?

-Yeah. My mom's gone.

-You want to come in?

-Yeah.

[Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" plays]

-Hey!

-♪ But emotions won't grow ♪

♪ And we're changing our ways ♪

♪ Taking different roads ♪

♪ Then love ♪

♪ Love will tear us apart ♪

-I don't know. She...

She didn't leave a note, and the house was all messed up.

-But you're okay?

Did you call the cops?

-Yeah, they said I should leave the house

and that I should go to a safe place.

I'm just so scared.

I keep thinking something awful is happening and...

It's my fucking stepdad, I know it.

-♪ Love, love will tear us apart again ♪

-♪ Love, love will tear us apart again ♪

-I guess some people are just born

with tragedy in their blood.

♪

-Hey, have you guys seen Frank?

-No, I think they said they were going on a beer run.

[Phone rings] -Shit.

[Answering machine beeps]

-If you're there, please pick up.

Oh, well. Good news.

The girls, they got three and a half stars

and they get to come back for the quarterfinals.

Samantha was amazing. Anyway...

we're gonna take the red-eye back tonight, and we --

-Mom. -Yeah?

-The plane's about to leave. -Okay, okay.

We'll take the red-eye back tonight.

We should arrive around 8:30 in the morning. Um...

I hope everything's -- I hope everything's all right.

I love you. Bye.

-All right, we are hurtling towards

the conclusion of "Donnie Darko,"

as Donnie and Gretchen consummate their relationship,

right after Donnie confesses everything

he's done to Dr. Thurman, raising the question of

why Dr. Thurman leaves a voicemail for Donnie's mom

instead of calling the police.

Plus, the scary rabbit is getting more

and more aggressive.

Plus, Donnie now seems certifiable

because one moment he's talking about being disappointed

because he didn't get Hungry Hungry Hippos for Christmas,

and the next moment he's talking

about burning down Patrick Swayze's house,

thereby revealing the, quote, "child porn dungeon"

that Kitty Farmer believes must be a conspiracy.

And of course, Kitty Farmer also utters

the most famous line in the movie,

"Sometimes I question your commitment to Sparkle Motion."

She says that line to Rose, Donnie's mom,

who is played, of course, by the amazing Mary McDonnell,

Oscar nominated for "Dances with Wolves."

She was the president on "Battlestar Galactica,"

critically acclaimed in film after film,

star of many Broadway plays.

She was in John Sayles' "Passion Fish,"

I think, nominated for a second Oscar for that role.

But what's great about how Richard Kelly did

the parents is that he knew he needed

magnificent acting in those parts.

The dad is played by Holmes Osborne.

Because he didn't want this to be a simpleminded

generation gap story with dumb parents and smart children.

He wanted sympathy for the parents,

and you find that in the great way

that Mary McDonnell deals with the scene

where he calls her a bitch. That scene,

and then the scene where we just saw where he says,

"How does it feel to have a wacko for a son?"

And she says, "It feels wonderful."

So we are now six hours before the end of the world,

according to Frank the Rabbit, and so I want to bring

out my friend Bob Berney, who is --

I don't know how to -- how to go into all of Bob's

Hollywood credits.

But Bob has been known for decades now as a man

who knows how to market and distribute indie movies,

and filmmakers love him for his ability to make a success

out of movies that are out of the mainstream.

He's currently the head of Picturehouse,

a very well-respected indie production company.

But before that, he was head of distribution at Amazon Studios,

where he acquired

and distributed films like "Manchester by the Sea"

and "The Big Sick" and "Cold War."

These are all Oscar nominees.

And before that,

"Insidious" and "The Runaways" and that big Metallica movie

that they put out in 3D, "Through the Never,"

and "Pan's Labyrinth."

And back when he was head of distribution at IFC Films,

he had "Monster,"

the Aileen Wuornos serial killer film.

And the reason I'm listing all these titles --

like the List goes on and on and on --

is that Bob is known as the guy

who can sell into the marketplace

original movies that don't have built in hooks

or big stars or whatever.

And he actually distributed the two

most successful indie movies in history,

box office-wise, "Passion of the Christ"

and "My Big Fat Greek Wedding,"

both of which have really interesting backstories.

But the reason I've invited him here tonight

is that Bob was at Newmarket Films

when "Donnie Darko" came out,

and he did the marketing campaign

for what I think you can tell by now

is one of the strangest movies ever made,

and his marketing campaign was --

Well, it was a theatrical failure, it was a flop.

But he didn't give up on the movie,

and he ended up turning it into an underground hit.

So please welcome Bob Berney.

[Cheering]

-Thank you. Thank you Joe Bob. Good to see you.

-Thank you. -Darcy.

-Yeah. Welcome. -Thank you.

-Bob, I think we met back when you were managing theaters.

You were managing a theater for AMC in Carrollton, Texas.

Was it Carrollton?

-Well, actually it was in Farmers Branch.

-Farmers Branch, Texas.

And you showed a picture called "Taxi to the Toilet,"

which was a gay German underground film with subtitles.

And I guess I was one of the few people in American journalism

who wanted to review "Taxi to the Toilet."

And, so, my first question is,

did you make money on "Taxi to the Toilet"?

-No, it was a very tough sell in Farmers Branch,

as was one of the other early films.

It was Godard's "Every Man for Himself,"

in which people came out and said, "Is this a theater?"

And I said, "Yes, it is. You're here."

And they said, "No, it's not.

That's not a movie you're showing,

and we want our money back."

And I had to refund the entire audience.

-On the Godard film? -Yeah.

-Okay. Well, you were you were a pioneer doing art films

in Farmers Branch, Texas. -Pioneer of refunding.

-But if you were doing "Taxi" --

Surely, if you knew how to market "Taxi to the Toilet,"

which maybe you didn't,

surely you can make money on "Donnie Darko."

So tell me what your marketing plan was.

Actually, let's back up a little bit.

Were you at the premiere of the movie at Sundance?

-I was at Sundance. -How bad was it?

-And it was bad. It was the industry people,

all older audience.

There was none of the teenagers that connected to this movie

in the Sundance audience, and there was even boos.

And everybody walked out like, "Next."

And this was the opening night.

And, you know, it was brutal and no one wanted it.

-So the movie was in danger of lapsing

into the oblivion of going to the Starz network.

And, so, why do you guys at Newmarket Films

decide to pick it up?

You had just distributed Christopher Nolan's

first film, "Memento," right? -Absolutely.

-And did you -- Who just won the Academy Award, I guess.

Right?

So, did you figure, "Okay, we scored with that weird format.

Let's try again"?

-Well, I think Chris did also sort of put the word in,

like, "They're different." -Chris. You know him as Chris.

-Chris. -Do you still know --

Do you still know Chris today? -Director Nolan.

-Did he call you after he got his Oscar?

-He didn't call me after, but they did a tribute to him

this year at Sundance.

And he gave me a great shout-out for --

-Okay. Because of "Memento"?

-Really because that movie, "Memento," was at Sundance

and it was the opposite reaction.

It was a cheering great reaction.

And then, "Donnie Darko" came along, and no one got it.

But there was people at Newmarket,

Aaron Ryder and John Crye and a guy named Travis Fickett,

that they saw something there.

We all did, that there was something there.

And we figured, you know,

can we try to connect it with an audience that liked it?

And, so, they went to work to edit the film

or make some changes.

And they would ask Richard Kelly,

the director, you know,

"Why did you put this scene there?" and all that.

We're trying to work it out. And he goes, "I don't know."

So, but -- -So he did

write it in a dream -- in a dream vision.

-He sort of, I think --

I think he had like a fever dream and woke up

and wrote it and maybe even making it.

But, you know, they worked with him.

But it was, you know, it was a project

and we were going to put it out in theaters.

And he was really excited about it.

I mean, after the downbeat mood of Sundance,

having us all cheer him on and say we're going theatrical

was a big deal. -Okay, but you still got

to make money. So what's your marketing plan?

How are you selling it?

I mean, you're committed to this theatrical release.

Unknown director, unknown lead actor.

And you got to tell people what genre it is.

Are you selling it as sci-fi?

You know, in a marketing campaign,

is it sci-fi? Is it religion? Is it coming-of-age?

Is it comedy? Is it satire? Is it drama?

Is it horror? Is it time travel? Is it a fantasy?

Is it a hallucination? Is it political? What is it?

-Well, the first the first people I had this --

That's a good question. But the first people

I had to sell it to were the theater owners,

and all they knew was, "That was the film

that bombed out at Sundance and we never saw it."

So I had to then show it to 'em. -Okay.

-And I said, we've done a lot of work on it.

Richard's really -- This is prepared for theatrical release,

and most of them saw it and went, "Uh, you know,

I think I agree with the Sundance people."

And they really didn't get it.

And I had to really say, "Look, you don't understand it,

but the kids do. This is for the kids

and they're going to relate to it."

And we talked 'em into it.

-Okay. -And, you know, by the time

this movie came out, October 2001,

we're in New York right after 9/11,

and no one wanted to come out, you know.

The reviews talked about the airplane scene,

and it was just -- it was a disaster.

-And, so, how many theaters are you in?

-We were about 100 theaters and it, you know,

didn't do much.

It was another blow for Richard.

And -- But --

-You're dealing with Richard all this time, right?

I mean, what was he like to deal with during this time?

-Richard actually was really great.

He was so supportive and so glad that we were doing it, you know?

But each step was very difficult.

And when the, you know, when it didn't work --

But the audiences --

You know, it didn't work on numbers.

But we could tell from the reaction to the --

to the people in the audience

that there were fans and it started,

and also early Internet stuff, it started to buzz.

-Here's the big question. What is the movie about?

What did you guys decide that it all means?

-Well, of course we didn't know.

And we kept asking Richard to explain it.

But you know, all the scenes --

Like, when you see, like, the scene

you talked about, the dance sequence or the opening scene.

Think about it now. It didn't matter.

The pieces were so good individually.

You just kind of rolled with it.

You could show people pieces of it and put the trailer together.

The trailer didn't make any sense, but it looked cool.

I mean, this film is super cool.

And we got the -- And we got the audience to buy that.

And they did respond, even though, at the time,

I think that we didn't have a huge budget to market it,

but enough of the right audience saw it,

enough of the audience.

And it wasn't about the reviews.

That audience didn't care about the reviews,

they cared about the experience. -Okay.

-And by the time it got to DVD,

you know, we had an output deal with Sony to put it.

And it was more like we were hoping to get

our money back and it blew up.

It was just -- It was a huge hit.

-Yeah. All right, hold that thought,

because I want you to stay for the outro of the movie.

Normally we don't have guests in the outro,

but because of this movie, I mean, you have to --

You have to know how this movie ends in order

to understand the marketing challenges of it.

Okay. Roll the movie.

And speaking of marketing challenges,

do you remember a movie called "When We Were Both in Dallas"?

You remember a movie called "Yol," Y-O-L?

-Yes, I do. A Turkish film.

-Yes. -Yes, yes.

Oh, we saw it together at the Cannes Film Festival,

and it was a -- it was a Turkish movie about four guys

in Turkish prisons.

It was kind of a real life version of "Midnight Express."

And I told you, "Book it at the Inwood Theater

and I'll review it."

And so you did book it, and I think it was the only theater

in America that showed it.

And people actually showed up in Dallas to see what was probably

the first and only Turkish- language movie ever shown

in Dallas up to that time. -It definitely was.

And I have to say that your review brought them in.

You had the power, you know.

But it was incredible.

In fact, the other night, I was in New York

and saw, at the Lincoln Center, a Turkish movie.

And I don't think I've seen one --

"About Dry Grasses" -- and it got -- it's one of the best

movies I've seen in a long time.

-The new one? Or the old? -No, the new one and the old.

Like, the Turkish cinema is back.

-[Laughs]

Oh, man. You know, I couldn't understand.

"Donnie Darko" only makes a half million at the box office.

-Yeah. And that's a stretch.

One of the theaters that played it

was a pizza parlor, you know,

like it was Two Boots Pizza that had a cinema behind it.

-Is that the one that I was talking about

that showed it for -- -Played forever.

-Showed it for two years or something.

-You knew -- Like, it was building, right?

You knew the audience was there. -All right.

-And when it hit DVD, it was like,

to our investors and the owners, it was like,

you know, a shock. They had no idea.

-All right. Well, sorry to be talking about one

of your marketing failures on the theatrical side,

but I think it's some measure

of what a difficult sell "Donnie Darko" was.

We're going to bring you back

for "Passion of the Christ" next Easter.

-We'll be there.

-Because I think that's a horror movie.

And you kind of sold it as a horror movie, didn't you?

-Well, we sold it as -- At first, it was going to be,

you know, even Mel, he said, "Well, we'll go art house

because it's subtitled in Aramaic."

And I go, "No, no, we're going to go 'Braveheart' Jesus.

Big wide. -Okay.

And you're a Catholic, right? -Yes.

-Did you get in trouble with the church?

-No, no. Oh, no. -They loved it?

-They loved it. Yeah. -Oh, okay. It was -- It was --

-The bloodier the better in the Catholic Church, right?

-It was good. Yeah.

You've seen all the, you know, the stations of the --

Yeah. It's bloody. -Okay.

-Yeah. -All right.

♪

[Bell rings]

[The Church's "Under the Milky Way" plays]

-♪ Under the Milky Way tonight ♪

♪

♪ Wish I knew what you were looking for ♪

♪ Might have known what you would find ♪

♪

♪ And it's something quite peculiar ♪

♪

♪ Something shimmering and white ♪

♪

♪ It leads you here ♪

♪ Despite your destination ♪

♪ Under the Milky Way tonight ♪

♪

♪ Wish I knew what you were looking for ♪

♪ Might have known what you would find ♪

♪

♪ Wish I knew what you were looking for ♪

♪ Might have known what you would find ♪

♪

♪

♪

-Cellar door.

-Donnie.

-♪ And it's something quite peculiar ♪

-Come with me. -Where are we going?

Donnie? -Look, we gotta go.

-Where?

-You ever see grandma death?

-Why? Look, is this about the book?

-No, it's Frank. -Donnie.

-Just time is running out. We gotta go.

-What --

♪

♪

♪

♪

-[Whispers] Roberta Sparrow.

Grandma Death.

♪

-Donnie, nobody's here. Let's just forget about it.

-Huh. "Cellar door."

-What?

[Door creaking]

-[Plays deep, ominous note]

[Gasps]

Donnie! Donnie!

♪

Donnie! Aah!

-Why the fuck are you here?

-Oh, my God!

-You're dead! -What do we do?

-Shit! -Leave them alone!

-[Grunts]

-Don't fucking move! Don't fucking move!

-Oh, fuck! Argh!

♪

-There's a car.

-[Coughs]

-Get the hell out of here, now!

-Come on!

-Seth, there's a car's coming. Let's go!

-I have a bigger knife now.

-Gah!

-Let's go! Let's go! He called the cops!

-[Coughs]

-Did you call the fucking cops?

-Deus ex machina.

-What did you just say?

What the fuck did you say?

-Our savior.

[Engine revs]

-Donnie!

[Tires squeal]

♪

-[Grunts]

[Engine sputtering]

Gretchen?

[Engine sputtering]

Gretchen?

Gretchen?

[Sobs]

[Car door opens]

Wake up, Gretchen.

-Frank...

-Wake up! -...what did you do?

-Gretchen, wake up. Wake up.

Wake up.

Gretchen. Gretchen.

-What the fuck did you do, man?

You killed her, Frank.

♪

-Is she dead?

♪

What were you guys doing in the middle of the road, huh?

What are you thinking?

[Gun cocks]

[Body thuds]

-Go home!

Go home and tell your parents everything will be okay.

Go!

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Wind whistling]

[Air rushing]

[Engine turns over, car bonging]

[Tires squeal]

[Sirens wailing]

-28 days...

...six hours...

-42 minutes... -...42 minutes...

-...12 seconds.

Going home.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Thunder crashes]

-So, in order to travel back in time, you have to have

a big spaceship or something that can travel

faster than the speed of light. -Theoretically.

-And be able to find one of these wormholes.

-The basic principles of time travel are there.

You've got your vessel and your portal.

And your vessel can be just about anything,

most likely a spacecraft.

Metal craft of any kind.

[Loud bang, people screaming]

-What if you could go back in time

and take all those hours of pain and darkness

and replace them with something better?

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

-Dear Roberta Sparrow,

I've reached the end of your book, and...

there's so many things I need to ask you.

Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me.

♪

Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me

that this is not a work of fiction.

I can only hope

that the answers will come to me in my sleep.

I hope that, when the world comes to an end,

I can breathe a sigh of relief

because there will be so much to look forward to.

♪

[Laughing]

♪

♪

♪

♪

-[Sighs]

♪

[Crashing]

♪

-[Gasps] [Glass shatters]

♪

♪

♪

♪

-[Gasps]

[Panting]

[Gary Jules and Michael Andrews' "Mad World" plays]

♪

-♪ All around me are familiar faces ♪

♪ Worn-out places, worn-out faces ♪

♪ Bright and early for their daily races ♪

-[Sobbing] -♪ Going nowhere ♪

♪ Going nowhere ♪

♪ Their tears are filling up their glasses ♪

♪ No expression, no expression ♪

♪ Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow ♪

♪ No tomorrow, no tomorrow ♪

♪ And I find it kind of funny ♪

♪ I find it kind of sad ♪

♪ The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had ♪

♪ I find it hard to tell you ♪

♪ I find it hard to take ♪

♪ When people run in circles ♪

♪ It's a very, very ♪

♪ Mad world ♪

♪ Mad world ♪

♪ Children waiting for the day they feel good ♪

♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪

♪ And I feel the way that every child should ♪

♪ Sit and listen, sit and listen ♪

♪ Went to school and I was very nervous ♪

♪ No one knew me, no one knew me ♪

♪ Hello, teacher, tell me what's my lesson ♪

♪ Look right through me, look right through me ♪

♪ And I find it kind of funny ♪

♪ I find it kind of sad ♪

♪ The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had ♪

♪ I find it hard to tell you ♪

♪ I find it hard to take ♪

♪ When people run in circles ♪

♪ It's a very, very ♪

♪ Mad world ♪

♪ Mad world ♪

♪ Halargian world ♪

♪ Mad world ♪

-Hey.

What's going on?

-Horrible accident. My neighbor...

got killed.

-What happened?

-Got smushed by a jet engine.

-You got it? -All right.

-What was his name?

-Donnie. Donnie Darko.

-Hmm.

-I feel bad for his family.

-Yeah.

-Did you know him?

-No.

[Vehicle departing]

[Radio chatter]

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-Okay, Bob, if anybody should know

the answers to these questions, it should be you.

First of all, Donnie Darko is dead, right?

I mean, some people say he survived.

-I can't -- I can't tell you. I mean, I...

[Laughter] I mean, I have no idea.

-I don't get anywhere that he survived.

He's like a Christ figure. -He is.

-He dies so that Gretchen and his mom and his sister

and everybody else could live.

-Could make it. Yeah. -Including Frank.

-Yeah, but -- but even though that's -- that's true,

you're not sure if he's dead.

-That's true. Right? Okay.

What -- What do the words "cellar door" mean?

-Again, uh...please, yeah.

Please contact Richard Kelly.

-Yeah, but it doesn't help when you contact Richard Kelly,

even if you can find him.

Um, Drew Barrymore says "cellar door"

is the most beautiful word in the world,

even though it's two words.

She says it's the most beautiful word in the world.

And I-I just don't know what that whole thing is about.

-She -- I don't know, but -- but it's great that she

financed and produced the film.

[Laughter] It's really good.

-It's beautiful. -I-I mean, it's interesting.

There's a little, you know -- when you think of Swayze, too,

now and you got Jake now in "Roadhouse,"

you know, there's this -- there's this turnaround.

-Yeah, that's right.

You know, and with "cellar door,"

they do go down into some kind of cellar

when they go to Grandma Death's house at the end of the movie.

The other thing is,

what are those pulsating liquid light tunnels

that stick out of everybody's chest?

-Especially the one that comes out of Donny's chest

and then goes around and then goes, "Come here,"

and he follows it. But I don't know.

They were great effects, though.

They almost look like James Cameron,

you know, "Avatar" effects.

Like, I think Richard was really onto something.

Like, he had -- he had great effects.

-Well, what were they? -No, there was no explanation.

It was like, no one knows.

But they look -- like everything in this movie,

that stuff looked cool.

-It looked cool, but I saw somewhere where

somebody was interviewing him and they said, "What are they?"

And he called them "future blobs."

And then he said they were inspired by John Madden's

Telestrator when he did football commentary.

Which is like, that's it? That's the reason?

You saw John Madden using the Telestrator,

and that's why you decided to put

tunnels coming out of people's chests?

-That's the thing.

I mean, even with Richard, like, he --

it's better if he doesn't answer questions.

-[Laughs] Okay. -Right? I think so.

You know? -Oh, yeah.

That's the annoying thing about all these questions,

is Richard Kelly himself -- he won't answer them.

I mean, he says,

"Well, it's open to your own interpretation."

I hate when they say that.

He seems to like it that people can't be sure

of what the movie is about.

But what's clear to me is that the first 15 minutes

and the last 15 minutes,

we're in the real world of October the 2nd, 1988,

and then the rest of the movie,

we're in what Grandma Death calls a tangent universe,

and Donnie Darko has the choice of staying

in the tangent universe and being alive,

or going back to the main universe and dying,

and he chooses death.

Now, do you agree with that part?

-Yes, but to save...

-To save everybody else. Okay, so now let's go into

after your disastrous theatrical release,

how did you bring the movie back?

-Well, we had -- Newmarket at the time had a deal with --

for DVDs and everything with Sony,

and they had done amazing job on "Memento,"

and it was like, "Here."

It was almost like begging him to put it out,

because, you know, everything in home entertainment

is by the theatrical numbers.

And it wasn't that exciting for them.

They were like, "Okay."

But they owed us one, you know.

-They had to put it out.

-They had to put it out. -By contract.

-No. More by relationship

because of "Memento" and everything and --

-So you're saying you forced Sony to release the DVD?

-We sort of begged them, you know?

-Okay. -And but it was amazing.

-And that -- that montage at the end

where time runs backwards and that song

"Mad World" actually went to number one

on the charts in England, right?

-Yeah. -The cover version?

-Well, that says something about England, you know?

But, yes, it does.

But, yeah, I mean,

and it goes back also to the music in the film in general,

like, really connected and you know, England has, you know --

all these pop songs are fantastic and they work there.

But it also, I think, drove a real cult following in the UK,

you know, just the music. -Yeah, just the music.

And then I assume you did a lot of special events

to promote the director's cut,

and you had another premiere at the Seattle Film Festival

in 2004 of the director's cut. -Of the director's cut.

We went all in again.

And even on that one, you know, it's interesting

because after the first release and then the video release

that did really well, um, fans really --

fans wrote in and created the book, the -- the history --

-But you're -- But you're -- This is like three years later.

-Yeah. -You're taking a movie that

failed on the festival circuit, failed at the box office,

and you're saying, "We're gonna put it out again in theaters

three years later"? -Yes. But that -- remember,

that's after the success on home entertainment, though.

-Okay. -It's after, and -- and,

you know, it was so weird. The fans had written --

like, created the book in the movie

that was not a... -I know.

-...it wasn't real. And they used --

and Richard used a lot of the of that

to create the director's cut.

Like, the chapters

that come in the director's cut are really from --

-The fans. -So it's a fan-director

relationships, like a real symbiotic thing.

-Wow. As you're going to these events

to promote the movie,

um, I'm assuming that now the "Donnie Darko" fans are coming,

coming to the events. -Yeah.

-And, um, and then giving out their various spiels

about the secret meanings of the movie.

-Yeah. Then it was, like, almost like a Comic-Con convention,

each screening, right,

when everybody's getting together watching it.

But everyone has their own theory about it,

and no one can agree anyway.

But -- But that's good.

-But they all want to talk about it.

-And they have to see it again.

They have to see it a couple times.

They couldn't understand it the first time,

and then they had to see the director's cut many times.

-Okay. So the only way I can explain it

is that a certain generation identified so strongly

with Jake Gyllenhaal,

um, as being alone and misunderstood,

that they connected with his rebellion

and but also with his weakness and his desire for kindness.

And it was like when you're 14

and you think the whole world hates you.

And, um, as to the time-travel part of it,

um, physicists do sometimes say

that maybe we are living in a simulation of the universe,

and there's another dimension that's the real universe.

They actually talk about this,

but that hurts my brain just to think about it.

So, all right, well, the story has a happy ending for you

and the movie and Richard Kelly, because...

you guys ended up on an initial investment of, what,

$1 million or something, and you end up making $30 million.

-Yeah. And the way it connected to the audience,

it's a real tribute to Richard.

Like, he saw something, or he dreamed something,

or he felt, and he was able to somehow put it together

without much interference, you know, which is amazing.

-Yeah. -You know, like, if -- and maybe

they couldn't interfere on the first time.

Like, maybe no one knew what to say to him.

-But it is to -- as you say, it is to this day,

a movie that's watched and talked about and debated.

And he did make two more movies, uh,

"Southland Tales" and "The Box."

Did you have anything to do with either of those?

-No. -Okay.

And there was a 2009 sequel called "S. Darko"

that had no involvement from Richard Kelly.

Apparently he's never even watched it,

but he had given away the sequel rights

and somebody else made it,

and it was all about the younger sister seven years later,

and everybody hated it.

So how does something like that happen?

-I don't know. -How do you have somebody else

making a sequel to your movie?

-You can't explain anything in Hollywood, you know.

You just can't explain it. But I think, you know,

as much as we talk about how crazy everything is,

it is -- it is amazing that he pulled this off

and that the journey, like all the things --

the failure at Sundance, the first theatrical failure --

but then it worked. So the end of the day...

-At the end of the day, everyone sees the movie.

But usually, you know, if you have people,

like making a cult out of a movie,

it's too late to make any money on the movie.

-It's way too late.

-You still got your money out. -Yeah. It worked.

-Jake Gyllenhaal would, of course,

go on to a great career -- "Brokeback Mountain,"

many other prestige films.

Uh, but thanks for being here, Bob. I know you have --

You have a movie in release right now, a documentary called

"Carol Doda Topless at the Condor"...

-Absolutely. -...about my old friend

from San Francisco, Carol Doda,

the woman who invented topless dancing,

went to jail for it several times,

then became an institution at the Condor Club

in the North Beach neighborhood of San Francisco,

where she descended from the ceiling every night,

lying on a piano. -Yeah.

-And then she proceeded to show off her "twin peaks,"

as she called them.

-She became, really, a feminist icon

and -- as the topless dancer, she really did.

-I know. I know, and, well,

I mean, Darcy is the chief spokeswoman

for the Free the Nipple movement.

So I'm sure you would have loved Carol Doda.

-I wish I could have met her.

-By the way, Bob,

before you leave, we need you to break the tie.

We talked about this earlier.

Old Coke, New Coke, Dr Pepper, or Pepsi.

-Dr Pepper.

-Yeah! Okay.

Spoken like a true Texan. All right.

Even though you're not a Texan. You're an Oklahoman.

But, you know, close enough.

-Halfway, you know?

I moved to Austin, and it was --

I've been conflicted ever since. -[Chuckles] All right.

What did you do for the -- you know,

one of the most interesting movies you released

was that Metallica movie.

What did you do to promote that?

-We had -- on "Through the Never," we --

it was -- we put it in IMAX,

you know, so it was exclusively in IMAX.

And so it was like a -- you know, big, you know,

it was like all we had to say is kind of "Metallica IMAX,"

and it was -- -And it's, like, sort of

the noisiest band... -Ever.

-...turned up to 11...

-But they -- -...in IMAX.

-In IMAX, so one thing we did in New York, at the Yankees,

um, the closer was retiring...

-Mariano Rivera, yeah. -So his, you know --

when each player has a song when they walk out.

Right? His was "Sandman." -Okay.

-So we had a secret and he was retiring,

and we had Metallica actually play at --

like, hidden away. -Oh, you mean they --

-Aw! -You snuck them into the...

-Snuck them into the Yankees game.

-...so that they could -- so that when --

So what if they didn't call on their reliever that night?

-Well, he was retiring, so it didn't matter.

But they did.

And he did some interviews later -- Mariano.

And they said, you know,

"How did you come up -- how did you select that song?

It's amazing." And Mariano goes, "I don't know.

Somebody just picked it and they played it."

And I was like, "That -- wrong answer."

You know, like, not exciting.

-While Metallica is there. -Right.

-Right. All right. Well, thanks, Bob.

-You're welcome. Good to see you.

-You too. -Thank you.

-Okay. And that's it for tonight.

I'm Joe Bob Briggs, speaking for myself

and Darcy the Mail Girl, reminding you

that since light travels faster than sound,

some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

And the drive-in will never die. [Laughter]

Guy gets kidnapped by a group of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to him.

-Oh!

-Aw! -Ghost walks into a bar.

All right. Ghost walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits."

[Laughter] -Ha-ha-ha-ha.

-Oh, wow. I'm really scoring tonight.

Uh, you know what you call it when you murder chickpeas?

Hummus-ide.

[Laughter]

All right. I won't do those anymore.

All right, all right. I have one good one.

I feel like I punish you too much with the Irish jokes.

And that's why I didn't tell my Irish joke tonight.

Can I tell an Irish joke? -Go for it.

-Yep. -All right.

Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman go into a pub

and order a pint of Guinness.

Just as the bartender hands over the Guinness,

three flies buzz down and one fly lands in each of the pints.

So the Englishman looks disgusted

and he pushes the pint away and he demands another one.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches into the glass,

pinches the fly between his fingers

and shakes him, yelling, "Spit it out, you bastard!

Spit it out!"

[Laughter]

-Here. We like that one. -That works.

-Yeah. -That works.

[Laughter]

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like other people ♪

♪ We are sick ♪ -♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting ♪ -♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in, yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

♪ We'd be off the scale ♪ -♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-Made in Georgia.