Original subtitles

Dzekus invites you!!!

In this area, dear viewers, this world-famous plant has been growing for centuries

vegetable plant, called Brassica Oloreca also called cabbage.

And because the people here owe their prosperity to cabbage

with great dedication they erected a monument to her.

But at the same time this monument pays tribute to the ingenious creator and breeder of this great one

vegetables, farmer Wilhelm Kriegel, who died in 1524

During this time, he peed three times on a head of cabbage out of joy for his

the firstborn and behold, the cabbage grew and blossomed, it was just such a joy.

This is how the important fertilization of cabbage was invented.

And immediately this great deed was revealed in the nomenclature.

From that day on, the farmer Wilhelm Kriegel was called Wilhelm Kohlpiesel.

To this day, the Kohlpiesel family, consciously maintaining the great tradition, confirms this

each birth of a child by urinating on a head of cabbage three times.

Unfortunately, the Kohlpiesel couple did not have a son and heir, this can be called a "failure".

And when Emma looks at her husband at work for a moment, she looks at him

strong shoulders and loins, he sometimes regretfully and secretly shakes his head

A tear of defeat creeps down her face.

And the four daughters of Paula and Petra, Franzi and Fritzi, whom she gave birth to

husband and who should be sons also worry parents.

Especially since Franzi and Fritzi have been somewhat neglected by nature.

Fritzi and Franzi are actually equipped with everything necessary.

Unfortunately, men who meet them are always the first to notice their faces

then they stop being curious about the other, i.e. inner values.

Too bad, Paweł!

Hit it hard!

I'll do it, Paula!

Pushing is like eating.

Everything needs its time.

So your jar inspires me anew every time.

You are happy with me

Your good Paul, he'll give it to you.

Because the labia flap just like that.

So.

You have such brave fingers.

Be calm and very calm.

Take it deep, it's free.

Yes, take it properly.

Such a good start before dinner.

You have a wonderful mouth to suck on.

This is great, can you feel it?

So.

Maybe we should lock ourselves in the stable for a change, that wouldn't be bad either.

It doesn't matter where, the most important thing is that you really finish me off.

So.

Oh, you're as wet as a waterfall.

Yes, blow me hard.

Oh my, what a treat.

Don't excite me so much, after all I don't have a man to fuck me.

I feel like I'm finishing.

You did it wonderfully.

Be careful, you have to spray it.

Oh so, this, so.

It's liberating.

Oh.

A dear father who knows the needs of his two Cinderellas, a longing sigh fills him.

Something has to be done.

Something has to be done.

Something has to be done.

Something has to be done.

Something has to be done.

Something has to be done.

Something has to be done.

But father, not now, the meat is frying.

Yes, the bodies of our two daughters Fritzi and Franzi are burning, burning hot, but there are no fire hoses to put it out.

Oh, that's what you mean.

Yes, yes, that's what I mean.

The tradition of our farm always requires peeing on the heads of cabbage.

We still don't have a son.

After dinner, father, after dinner we can...

Don't interrupt me, Emma.

Paula and Petra are taken care of, but what about Franzi and Fritzi?

Yeah, what the hell is that? Did something happen?

Two daughters need men.

Ah, men.

Emma Kohlpesel, will you finally listen to me?

Yes, father, you have meat in the kitchen.

But Emma, ​​this isn't about meat, it's about your daughters' future.

And yours.

Why my future?

Your daughters, father, they are yours too.

Yes, yes, Emma, ​​there will be a big family meeting after dinner.

Something has to be done.

No sooo.

Hello.

But.

Well, Gustav, how's it going?

Co?

Hi, are you back in the country?

Yeah.

Ah, hello.

Hello Fritz.

Well, how's business?

Have you ever seen a well-dressed cabbage?

who are you telling?

The only thing I sell them here is non-greasy skin cream

​​only fat from cow udders.

Gustav, I'd like a beer.

Beer, yes.

So what to eat?

Sure, but no cabbage.

If we're talking about cabbage.

What's the difference between cabbage soup and your own wife?

I don't know.

There is no difference.

You rummage through both listlessly.

Do you already know the Hottentot joke?

Oh no.

A Hottentot woman with very large breasts.

He carries the baby on his back.

She takes the sagging breasts and throws them over her shoulder.

And he kills his child with it.

What is this?

No idea. I don't know.

Hottentot tit attack.

Hm.

So, my dear children, my dear sons-in-law

from Spee, our future lies in our cabbage.

And that's why we want...

I finally want a man, dad.

Me too, damn it.

Me too, but leave it to your father for now.

What? Why you too?

What? Oh, I already have it.

And what kind?

That's what I meant.

Quiet, damn it. You too.

The tradition of the house is that of a farm

can only be taken over by a male heir.

And you all know it.

Paula and Paul, Petra and Peter, have to

just download and everything will be fine.

But you are going to the wedding in white, children.

Not me, absolutely not.

I don't want to get married in a church at all.

But children, the most beautiful day of your life should...

So I'll speak up here too, damn it.

They will only get married when the other two are under the care of their peasants.

What others?

We only have Franzi and Fritzi.

Oh, Emma, ​​and stop eating.

You make me crazy, you are frustating me.

Don't we want to make a toast first?

Well, for all our future.

You see, Mom, now you're choking.

This comes from constantly eating.

Emma, ​​you must be tired.

Wouldn't you rather go to bed?

Tired?

Why tired?

Yesterday I was tired.

No, I won't sleep today.

The family council is so nice.

You and me, children, my daughters and everyone together.

What are you talking about when the day is long?

I don't even know what you mean.

I'm not saying anything bad.

Now Emma, ​​do me a favor and please let me talk.

Otherwise, nothing will come of our family meeting.

So what was I about to say?

So, children, I don't want anyone to disturb me now.

And this applies to everyone present.

As I said, it's about the tradition of our region and our home.

It is about the spiritual memory of Wilhelm Kriekel.

They only get married when all four find a husband.

This is what the tradition of our house requires.

A male heir can only marry if his sisters have a husband.

Because this is not so easily possible despite our rapidly changing times,

The remaining two must give up on their marriage for now.

Even if it's difficult, because Paula and Petra have their friends.

Which says a lot.

The only problem is that Franzi and Fritzi, let's say

they have more inner beauty than outer beauty.

This one!

You said it well, father.

In general, sometimes you can talk differently than usual.

When I think about how I met you and how shy you were.

You couldn't open your mouth then.

But mom, stop talking about this time.

What does it matter now?

But why? Today is a family meeting.

And when there's a family meeting, you can ultimately say anything.

Mom, I want to talk about completely different things now.

No one cares.

That's what you think. I'm sure the kids will be very interested in this.

Not true? Gell, Fritzi and Franzi?

Yes mom!

And since there are no crowds of men rushing towards us...

we need some help.

I already have a plan.

Paula and Petra will have to help us with this.

You, father!

What is this?

I have to.

Immediately.

So with Franzi and Fritzi's consent

I suggest that Petra and Paula...

What is this?

Are you even fucking listening to me?

What the hell are they playing here anyway?

But father, who is playing?

Go now!

If you can't hear me, Paula and Petra

they just have to go home.

They're not part of the family yet, not yet.

But we wanted, we just wanted...

Well, they just wanted...

What did they want?

Well, say goodnight when they go home.

Well, goodnight.

Good night.

We also want two men.

That's what the hell is going on.

So Mom and I decided that Paula and Petra would just smile at their men.

Not me, I want to keep my Peter.

Actually, two wouldn't be bad.

But Paula!

We don't even have one and she wants two, you stupid cow.

Who's stupid here?

Not!

Not!

Quiet now, stop it!

Calm down now!

Who could it be right now?

Maybe a man?

Stay seated!

What nonsense. Mom, open the door.

But don't let them in, they should come back tomorrow.

We have a big family meeting today.

Definitely a neighbor.

So Paula and Petra, go get the two first-year boys.

They must come after you on all fours.

What about us?

Nice young man.

Really.

Nice young man.

Who?

Well, he wanted to talk to you.

Oh what?

Did you send him away?

We could already have one.

Mom, did you really have him?

You said not to let anyone in.

And besides, I thought that we need two.

It's okay, Emma.

So continue.

And what did he want?

Who?

Well, young man.

Yes, what did he want?

I forgot it.

Yes, it's fine, Emma, ​​it's fine.

So let's leave it at that.

And you two are leaving now.

You will be back very soon.

Sure, but they have to go first.

Who?

Oh, Emma.

Keep driving.

I'll call the inn now and see if they can

some nice young men stopped there.

Cheers.

Do dna.

Have you met the newest waitress yet?

We know about her, she's good.

I do not know her.

Well, what's his name?

The owner of the restaurant is looking for a topless waitress for his restaurant.

The next day, a huge woman

she looks great with such breasts.

Of course the innkeeper wants to see

breasts because I don't want to buy a cat in a poke.

So please strip, I want to see what you have.

He picks up the sweater and the innkeeper is surprised.

A woman has only one breast.

Yes, tell me, says the innkeeper, do you come here with one breast?

Yes, he says, I'm just looking for a part-time job.

Three nuns bit the superior.

The first one says she saw a penis.

The superior says: wash your eyes and do penance.

The second one says she had a penis in her hand.

Then the superior says: wash your hands and repent.

Then the third one gets up and creeps to the door.

Where are you going, my daughter, asks the superior.

Gargle and repent.

Someone is in bed with a woman for the first time.

After fucking she says, honey, I have a confession to make.

I have asthma.

Thank God, he says, I thought you were going to whistle at me.

Speaking of which, this is the second time I've been to this cafe.

Is there really nothing to give a fuck here?

Good evening, Uncle Gustav.

Ah, the daughters of Kohl Pisel. But unfortunately closed today.

Today is a day of rest.

It's a pity that today is a day off. We didn't even know.

But it was too boring at home.

And then we thought, maybe there's something wrong with you.

Oh well.

Sit down.

Thanks.

Oh, I think I'm crazy.

Ladies, would you mind keeping us company?

My name is Franz and this is my friend Fritz.

So what?

Yes, I don't know.

Who do you think these guys are, Uncle Gustav?

Representatives, everything is fine.

It could still be something tonight.

I hope they're not that stubborn.

Well, now sit down.

I won't tell your father anything.

Please.

Will you come to me, father?

Emma, ​​you know I'm waiting for Gustav to call.

Which Gustaw?

Your brother, Emma. Paula and Petra are there.

Well, why?

That's right, Emma, ​​that's right.

Emma.

Come here.

Well, Gustav, it's you.

How are you?

What do you think?

I mumble, I don't mumble.

Yes, you, be a good person and make sure nothing happens.

So.

They both need to get out of the bar before something happens.

Yes, you and be careful.

Roof, and, Emmo.

Oh, Emma, ​​what do you mean?

Oh no, no, no, not really.

Goodbye, Gustaw.

Oh Emma, ​​both...

Father, do you really want to fuck now?

But Emma, ​​don't say "fuck".

It sounds so ordinary. Better to say, let's laugh.

OK, do you really want to laugh now?

No, Emma, ​​I was laughing earlier.

It's all really mine. Unbelievable, oh Emma, ​​all mine.

These two are still missing.

You should go to your room and wait until we're done.

Go to your rooms and wait, do you understand?

I don't know who you're waiting for, but Father is right.

Now we both want to hear birds, er, bird calls.

Come on Emma, ​​you're right. We want to go and have a laugh.

What are you presenting?

I'll show you in a moment.

So, dear, nice, small, colorful crayons.

A little more.

So.

And what is it for?

I'll show you in a moment.

If I can.

What they can do, we can do too.

Come to me.

I have an idea, but you need to calm down.

But nothing bad?

NO.

I'm excited about this.

And the brush is here.

This already looks great.

It embellishes these things.

Now let's paint the stem.

It's like in life.

And this shows the way to paradise.

Or to hell.

So.

So.

Oh, the bench is so hard.

It does not matter.

Believe me.

This makes it difficult.

I hope the butterfly won't fly away from me so quickly.

Who knows, who knows.

And here's another portion.

So.

And there is one more drop.

For that.

So.

Undress.

Yes, you are very good and willing.

Very pretty.

Thanks.

Entirely...

Excellent.

Isn't it wonderful?

Well, let's go in now.

A little deeper.

So.

So.

You're making sounds that don't come from me.

So.

If you have the stamina, what has to be, must be.

And it has to be now.

Isn't it quite stiff?

And we go straight back inside.

So.

Up and down.

Up and down.

That's what my grandfather did.

Put it back in.

You always have to be patient.

So.

So.

Oh yes it's good.

And now full speed ahead.

So.

Long live cosmetics.

No one will deny my gorgeous lipstick.

So.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, my job is over.

The last person to leave turns off the light.

Yes, Uncle Gustaw, we are leaving too.

Good night, Gustav.

If we want to have another drink, we write it down.

Good night.

Yes, the best thing is, Petra, we're coming home too.

Our father is very suspicious.

He always calls at night to make sure we're actually home.

So.

Well, then I guess we'll just have to be alone tonight.

Nothing can be done.

If you really want, we could make it at home.

But why? Come upstairs with me.

To the hotel room? What are you thinking about? We are good girls.

Come back in an hour, there's a ladder by the window. The window is open.

Come on, Petra, let's go.

We have to drink to this.

Damn, Fritz, it's going to be a night. We will remember this for a long time.

Let's hope so.

See a ladder here?

I don't see any ladder.

Hey, hey, there's a ladder.

Director?

Yep, a ladder. Here.

Thanks.

Take a look inside, nice girls. Come on, my friend.

Yes, to attack the bastion.

And then we hit terribly.

Ah, the ladder.

Beautiful ladder.

After you.

No, no, no, please, you.

Well, if you want....

Push it a little, yes.

The terrain is a bit low here.

Foggy.

Foggy.

Foggy?

Foggy.

Oh, please be careful.

So now we attack.

What are you doing with me?

Sorry.

You moved your ass.

Do it.

Please be careful.

I'm already feeling dizzy. It must be fear of heights.

Done.

Done.

But I've had enough.

Give me a leg.

Hatch.

But that's one hell of a platform.

So.

For God's sake, is there no light here?

I don't know either, I have no idea.

Are you Franz?

Of course, you don't recognize it.

So come, Fritz, come to me.

Here, to the left. There is no electricity.

Don't do that, I'm leaving.

Can I let you in?

Yes, cheeky, cheeky.

Not so.

I can still pull it myself.

But you're there.

I know what you have to say.

Sorry.

I'm in the wrong place, it won't happen again.

It's dark here.

Yes, but dark.

I want some time.

Well, it works wonderfully.

Hell no.

Wet, girls.

Much wetter than the pub tonight.

Oh my God.

I didn't think my cock would look so good inside you.

Usually, once I drink, I don't hit like that anymore.

But it's different with you, girl.

You are wonderful.

Great.

Yes, dear Franzi, I need this to live,

if you know what I mean.

Fantastic.

Oh yes, moonlight fiction.

Yes, exceptionally.

And when you do...

That's how it has to be.

Yes it's true.

You often have to change positions.

Bring variety to fucking.

Yes, really commit to it.

This is what a man needs.

You ride like a young goddess.

Make me really horny.

Listen, my friend, you have a great hole.

Oh, this one is mine.

It's my sincere pleasure to meet you

today you and your hot hole.

You haven't mentioned anything about my size yet.

You don't talk much at all, but it doesn't matter.

The most important thing is that you know how to drive well.

The most important thing is that you know how to drive well.

I am ready.

I hope you're ready too.

Do you like artificial protein?

Yes, sure.

Take your time, friend.

Enjoy the beautiful hours.

For me it takes a few seconds.

Now.

Now he's leaving.

So.

Oh.

It's OK.

Oh, here's my gift.

You're working well.

Yes, rub yourself with my precious cum.

This makes you beautiful.

This makes the skin soft.

Oh, I'm shocked.

Aha.

So that's it.

When parents are hardly home,

They're coming in here like thieves, like criminals at night

to rape my daughters

that were so innocent, I guarantee it.

The judge will be delighted to put them behind bars for a few years.

Not to mention the shame they both will feel...

Great, are you all going to breakfast now?

Mrs. Kohlpiesel, don't you see what terrible things have happened here?

Hmm? Why? Everything went well.

Emma, ​​please come downstairs, I have to do my fatherly duty.

So please leave us here alone, okay?

Why? We'll be there soon...

Emma, ​​you're waiting in the kitchen, go now!

So what do you have to say about it?

I do not know anything.

I have no idea.

Alcohol.

What? Liquor? So you are also drunkards?

I'll call the police.

No, not to the police.

Anything but that, please.

There is only one way to stay out of jail and avoid embarrassment in front of your family.

Please tell me what. We will do everything.

So if you and my daughters...

And it's hard for me not to see any benefit in making such an offer.

If you marry my daughters.

No, good heavens, no.

Never.

OK, then I'll call the police.

No, no, just not to the police.

Then get married.

I am also willing to pay a decent dowry, but unfortunately I owe it to my family.

Well, mine is very nice.

Mine is really beautiful too.

Okay, we're getting married.

We'll get married

Well, my dear children, we did it together.

Don't worry, they will come on their own.

And hurry up, breakfast is ready.

And always act nice when you come downstairs.

Well, Emma?

Yes, father.

I see you're happy about this.

Yes, I haven't eaten such a good cake in a long time.

I don't mean pie, I mean our children's happiness.

Oh yes, it would be nice if Franzi and Fritzi also had two men.

Mom, here you go.

You just saw them.

Oh, that was them?

Oh, then I have to put out two more sets of dishes.

Um, oh, great.

You see, they are already collecting our sons-in-law's things.

This worked really well.

Complete success.

Where are Paula and Petra?

Earlier they went to the room with their fiancées.

They wanted to practice something before the wedding.

Maybe some nice chorale.

Yes, do it right for me.

Of course, as always.

Sometimes I feel like you and your sister are insatiable.

Oh right.

It does not matter.

Me too.

So.

So.

Yes, yes, Paul.

This is exactly what I need.

Your device fills me completely.

Oh, the birds are beautiful.

Especially in the morning before breakfast.

Do I have to think about food now?

You're having fun talking.

There's something warm in your stomach.

Oh right.

And, Peter, pchai!

Yes, stronger!

Why are you taking it out?

Put it back!

In a moment you will regain its full length.

Oh so good!

Oh, I'm cumming now!

Oh yes please!

Yes, Gustaw, of course. So good. What, what, when? Yes, the engagement is in three days.

Yes, the engagement is in three days. Goodbye, yes, goodbye.

What about Gustav? Why does he want to get engaged? He has been married for 20 years.

I'm going. Please don't let anyone in. We are having a family celebration.

I know we have a family celebration. You don't have to think I'm stupid.

And you. What exactly do you do?

Franz is a textile representative and I deal with cosmetics.

Cosmetics, textiles, careers with a future, I would say. Yes of course.

Well, maybe I'll set up shop for you. Well, who was it?

The young man from last night. I sent him back.

What did he want again? He said he needed to talk to you urgently because you were his...

Oh, it's not important, Emma. Finally, forget about it.

So, gentlemen.

Tell me, father, what do these girls want from us? Did you invite them?

There's not enough cake.

So, who are you?

Mom, don't you recognize us? It's me, Franzi.

Franzi?

And I'm Fritzi, mom. We are really happy.

I can not believe it. Turn around and don't move.

But mom, cosmetics have changed us so much.

Quiet!

That's right, you're Franzi.

And the beautiful clothes come from Franz's luggage.

Hush, I say.

Yes, that's how I know it. You are my daughter Fritzi. Yes Yes.

You can turn around.

You are truly my children.

Mama!

Well, gentlemen.

Not only do you understand perfectly how to sell, but also how to use it.

Congratulations and welcome to Kohlpiesel.

Thanks.

If you're talking about pâtés with cabbage.

I hope that soon I will have a reason enough to be able to pee successfully again.

Franzi and Fritzi have boyfriends. The old man offered me 20,000 if I choose Fritzi.

He even offered me 30,000 for Franzi. I'd rather marry my own grandmother.

When they have children, the old man will surely poke his daughters in the head by accident.

What do you mean? Well, compared to their heads, our cabbage is pure Marilyn Monroe.

I just want to know what kind of men are these that marry girls like that.

When they fuck them, they have to put a towel over their head.

The old man probably took them from a mental hospital.

So if you take someone like Franzi and give him facial plastic surgery, if you're lucky, he might become human.

But now I want to see if the company can cope.

Dear Sirs, I am pleased to inform you about the arrival of the Kohlpiesel family and their sons-in-law to Spee.

Do not worry. The most important thing is that there is free beer.

So.

Thank you thank you.

Dear Guests, we are looking forward to this special day and its large attendance.

You all know the tradition of our home and soon the time will come again when I can take to the field to honor my very old custom.

Which was preserved and even sanctified by my ancestors' family Kohlpiesel. Thank you.

Thank you.

You all know what I'm talking about.

I finally want to be able to announce the arrival of a male child by watering our cabbage three times. Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Who will finally open the barrel of beer? I need a good reason to look at his Fritzi.

If they have husbands, I will eat a head of cabbage.

Thank you thank you. Step aside, yes.

And now we are pleased to announce the engagement of our daughter Paula to Pul.

Our daughter Petra's engagement to Peter.

Our daughter Franzi's engagement to Franz.

And our daughter Fritzi's engagement to Fritz.

I've never drank my own alcohol before, but now I need a sip.

Silence silence. I'm asking for peace. I ask young people to open dances.

Sorry.

For profit!

Congratulations! How did you deal with it?

Oh, Gustav! Men can always give good speeches.

Over there! Him again! Who?

Well, there! Young man.

Young man?

Well, the one who has already been to our house twice.

And he claims to be your son.

And, ceiling.

Co?

Don't be nervous, father.

I didn't believe him either.

Co?

Certainly as a mother I would know if I had a son.

Emm!

Three!

Father, finally!

Who are you?

Now don't be so surprised.

The young man told you.

Who are you?

You know, my husband is really bad.

Sometimes it's really hard to understand him.

He's probably been married to you too long.

You do not remember?

You were at my mother's place.

This, dear heaven, in that place.

Emma, ​​I have to tell you something.

20 years ago, back then, I...

Can you explain to me again?

You know, I'm not very good with numbers.

And whether I got pregnant four or five times,

I just forgot.

Emma. What's your name?

Max.

What? Max, how about me?

Let me hug you, come on.

Dear friends, I would like to inform you about a joyful event

that just happened.

What? Yes now?

She just gave birth to my son.

What? Now?

My son, go dancing, okay?

It's okay, dad.

Come on, Emma, ​​come on, let's go.

Why do you want to go now? Where will we be better off?

We have something very important to do.

Syn.

Paula, now we can finally get married.

So.

And you don't have to do it in the attic anymore.

But it was nice in the attic too.

Yes, always.

What is it, father? What's wrong with you?

Would you like to hold him, Emma?

Finally, we must pay tribute to the tradition of the Kohlpiesel house.

We had a son.

Emma, ​​I hope we'll be back soon.

It depends on you.

The inscriptions were made by Dzekus!!!