All language subtitles for Bride.Wars.2009.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG_Eng

♪♪ [ Pop ]

♪ I found, I found ♪

♪ So many things ♪

- ♪ I dreamed of♪
- ♪ Dreamed of, dreamed of ♪

♪ You fell in love with me ♪

- ♪ But I couldn't think ♪
- ♪ I couldn't think ♪

♪ Of how it could be ♪

♪ And I finally found him ♪

♪ And I'm takin'
the long way out ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be ♪
- ♪ It's gonna be ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Days go by
and we're still laughing ♪

♪ He's all mine and I'm never alone ♪

♪ Days go by and we're still happy ♪

♪ He's all mine alone ♪

♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪

♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪

♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And I finally found him ♪

♪ And I'm takin'
the long way out ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be ♪
- ♪ It's gonna be ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Days go by
and we're still happy ♪

♪ He's all mine alone ♪♪

[ Woman Narrating ] It all
began at the Plaza Hotel...

twenty years ago
in the month of June.

[ Crowd Chattering ] Two mothers
brought their daughters, Liv and Emma,

here to the Palm Court for tea.

On that afternoon,
there was a wedding.

There was something blue,
something borrowed...

and something
completely magical.

And two little girls
from New Jersey...

held in their hands a new dream-

that one day they would find
that one person...

who would stand by them
no matter what,

and when they did, they too...

would haveJune weddings
at the Plaza.

Thank you.

And yes, Your Honor, I will take
this lofty man to be my husband.

I always knew my wedding would
be the happiest day of my life.

Now I will dance with you until
we have six babies and a house.

Do you think they let pets
inside the Plaza?

Well, it's not like we're getting
married until we're 16 at least.

Next time, can I play the bride?

Emma, you know
I always play the bride.

[ Woman On Stereo ] ♪ This
will be an everlasting love ♪

♪ This will be... ♪♪
Not too shabby.

Caviar cocktail hour... Cigar
roller, white glove service-

Celadon cymbidium orchids.
Great deejay.

[ Liv ] So we both
admit it's beautiful.

Um, yeah. But?

Do you think it's the work
of Marion St. Claire?

Oh. Marion's a visionary.

Mmm?

Oh. If it had been my wedding-

Oh, just say it. It ain'tJune.

And it ain't the Plaza.
It's the elephant in the room.

Yeah. [ Gasps ]

And here you are. Oh, look.

A duck made out of ice.
Isn't this great?

Know what else is great?

Going home early and watching
your backed-up TiVo?

Am I that predictable?

How about one more dance,

and I'll give you my piece of
the cake-if you let me lead.

Very funny.

Come on. Come on.
You know I always lead.

Hey. Oh.

Hi, girls. [ Laughs ]

Are you ready to catch this bouquet?
Gotta go.

- I'm so happy all of you are here.
- On the other hand, always fun.

I know.
They take it so seriously.

- My work friends, sort of.
- [ Guests Laugh ]

My college buds-Oh, my God.

Emma Allan, is that the same dress
you wore to the Delta Gamma...

"Kegs for a Cause" semiformal,
like, a bazillion years ago?

[ Murmuring ]

Yeah. What's your point?
Because it's a classic.

- If a dress works, you work it hard.
- Oh.

See, that is sweet. And loyal.

Girlfriends sticking up
for each other.

I like that, a lot. Keep that.

- Anyway, are you guys ready to catch this?
- Yeah.

Just think about it,
feel it, catch it-

One, two, three!

[ Narrator ] I would have seen
the signs if I'd been there.

It's all right there. Look at
Emma's eyes-Like a hunter's.

And Liv's hand-How would you like
that clasped around your throat?

Not that either of them can imagine
hurting each other at this point.

Why should they? They've been
inseparable for 20 years.

Okay, slow down.

Why can't we run with iPods? We can't
run with iPods because iPods...

are for people who can't be
alone with their own thoughts.

I'm literally running circles around you.
Do you know that?

Do you know how many things
I can think about at once?

You know what
a multitasker I am.

You're not enjoying my conversation?
Is that what you're saying?

I'm hurt. I am very hurt, Liv.
I gotta go.

All right. Have a good day.
Love you.

Oh! And tell me how the meeting goes.
Watch this power walk.

Whoo! Whoo!

[ Bell Dings ] Hey, did you
get the changes to the brief?

Read and highlighted in the cab.
Great.

Purse. It's like the whole
city is made out of lint.

It's an aggressive approach, exploiting
the weaknesses of our plaintiff's case,

and I thinkjudicially
we'll find favor...

Particularly if we pull
justice Givens.

Thank you, Liv.

Our best associate, Mr. Simmons.

Maybe your approach
is too aggressive.

I mean, if we pound them,

as you suggest, they'll hardly
be in the mood to settle.

Mr. Simmons, you don't-
You don't know me, but I-

I know you.

All you need to know
is how badly you want to win,

because we won't be settling.

- You're right. She's perfect.
- [ Bell Rings ]

Oh, Ms. Allan?
Hey, Robert. What's up?

I think Ms. Delgado
is looking for you.

Is she? W-Was she nearby?

She... She's in her room. She's...

Emma, there you are.

- Oh, God, Deb. Hi.
- I know. Isn't it gorgeous?

God, I feel so blessed to have this body.
[ Chuckles ]

You know, I am so late-No, no, no. Listen.
You gotta help me out here.

You know the debate team? Yeah.

I cannot go to the state finals.

I mean, children talking
about their little problems.

Ugh! You gotta do it for me.

Yeah, Deb, I'm already doing
your late bus patrol...

and pep squad and your
after-school detention.

You're the debate team adviser. I
don't think that I should-I know.

I do so much.

I wish I could just
do the bare minimum.

I so admire you for that.

Thank you.

Anyway, all right, look.
Here's how we'll work it out.

I'll do the debate team-
Okay, good.

Uh-huh. If you take my Tuesday study
halls for the rest of the year.

Okay? Yeah, that's... No.

[ Laughing ] All right.
You owe me, girl.

- Get out of the hallway, kids!
- You know why she does this?

You're the best teacher
at that school. No, I-

She's trying to overwork you,
so you crack under pressure.

Mm-mmm.
Middle school's a jungle.

I don't know.
I think she's kind ofsad.

I mean, she's been divorced,
like, three times.

She's way ahead of us. I mean,
where are our divorces?

I gotta get married first.

God, I hate Daniel! [
Laughs ] ♪♪ [ Phone ]

No, Kevin.
I'm dealing with a crisis.

What's your crisis?

Uh, that's code for
"I don't want to talk to you."

Oh, I see. Well, then thank
you for putting me through.

See? I told you those jeans would look
great on you. They aren't too tight?

No, no. Not at all. But this...

I mean, Emma, yellow-
Not your color.

Okay? Seriously. Oh, but you know what?
Try this.

Because-You know what? Keep it.

Well-It never hung
right on me anyway.

Ofcourse it doesn't
hang right on you.

It's... my size, and it's new.

This is the Dolce blouse I
told you about last week.

Liv, I can't.
Hey, hey. It was on sale.

I practically made money on it.
Liv, it's too much.

Emma, Emma. Emma-
just say thank you. Just-

Thank you. It's beautiful.
I love it. Good.

Now this-Emma's stuff. Emma's stuff.
Let's get rid of it at one point.

You moved out, like, a
hundred years ago. Okay.

- Daniel's sweater? Cardigan? You
wanna try that? - Yeah, love it.

[ Both Gasp ]

Oh-

Tiffany box.

You're getting engaged?
I'm getting engaged.

I'm getting engaged!
You're getting engaged!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Emma-No! Stop it. No. Liv!

I have to look. Stop it! No! No!

No, no! [ Squealing ]

You can't stop me. [ Screams ]

I'm sorry.

But he should see your face
when you first see the ring.

Good call.

You always think ofothers, Emma.

It never occurs to me like that.

I mean, sometimes it does.

I'm really happy for you.

Promise me you won't tell
anyone until after he proposes.

Oh, God. I would never.
I'd be out of my mind.

♪♪ [ Pop On P.A. ]

- I'm engaged!
- [ Screams ]

Can we get four tequila shots?
No. No.

No, no, no. None for me.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, right.
I'm fine.

Acapulco, 2006-
Emma and Fletcher on a break.

[ Falsetto Voice ] "Never talk
about that weekend again."

"I'm so lonely and confused, and
very thirsty. Please, Miguel"―.

Okay, okay, okay.
Make it stop. Please.

All right, a toast. To Liv―
Congratulations to an amazing friend.

And condolences to Emma,
Liv's maid of honor.

She will surely be the most
nightmarish bride ever.

It is my burden and mine alone.

- I'll be repaying the favor
very soon. Cheers. - Drink up.

- What did I rush down here for?
- Nate! I'm getting married.

Get out. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Sister's gettin' married here.
[ Chuckles ]

- Where's-Where's the groom?
- Oh. Oh. He's not here.

Well, he hasn't actually
popped the question yet.

A toast-To Daniel,

who in his own world
is just working late,

but I guess in Liv's world
has just proposed.

So God bless him for wanting...

to spend his life with
my sister in any world.

To Liv. We love ya.

He's a lucky guy. [ Woman ] Yep.
The biggest day of a girl's life.

I'm gonna be right back.

- Damn. Should I?
- I got it.

I mean, they didn't get to
see me graduate law school,

or read Nate's first story
in New York magazine.

So I can't share this with 'em.

I wish your parents
could be here too.

Whatever. It's fine. I'm fine.

Liv, you're only human.

You don't have to have it together
every minute of every day.

Former chubby girls-
We're made of steel.

And Splenda. We survive.

Well, first of all, you weren't fat.

[ Chuckles ]
But, yes, you do survive.

Thanks, Em. You're welcome, Liv.

You're gonna be
the best maid of honor.

Yes, I am. What do we do first?

First... Oh! I was thinking.

It might be a good idea to
actually get the proposal.

See? It's that head for details.

Yeah, right? I know.

[ Man On TV ] ...people watching
this performance at home...

with a huge question mark.

Hey, babe? I don't think they
sent us any fortune cookies.

No, they sent 'em.
I got them right here.

Oh, good.

Okay. Here we are.

I'm just cuing it up. Mm-hmm.

This guy's gotta go. I'm sorry.
I know you like him. Mm-hmm.

He's very pitchy. You know, Fletch,
that is actually a real thing.

Pitchy. It's not just code
for someone you don't like.

Oh, okay. You're pitchy.

Oh, uh, that one's mine.

Please. You're really calling
dibs on fortune cookies now?

Yeah. It's on the right side.
Okay, it's fine.

Yours is the left. If your fortune's
better than mine, I'm claiming it.

I don't think it will be.
Okay. Are you ready?

One-Two.

Three.

What's this?

I put a lot ofthought into
where I was gonna do this,

and, uh, I wanna do it here.

This is our home,

and if I'm 99 years old and we're
doing exactly this in our home...

TV and gettin' Chinese food-

that'll be good enough for me.

[ Laughs ] So, Emma Allan?

Uh-huh? Will you marry me?

- Yes. Yes.
- [ Phone Ringing ]

[ Beeps ]
It didn't happen tonight.

- But I'm not worried, 'cause I'm
sure Daniel's... I-I'm engaged.

Fletcherjust proposed,
like, two minutes ago.

I'm engaged.

- Color?
- Colorless.

- Cut?
- Brilliant.

- Clarity?
- Slightly included.

- Carat?
- Almost, maybejust under.

[ Whispering ] More than
he could afford, I'm sure.

- Ohhh.
- [ Squeals ]

- [ Phone Ringing ]
- Engaged? Wow!

Liv's engaged. You're engaged.

That's-That's...

C-Can I call you back?

What do you mean Emma's engaged?

No. Of course I'm happy.
Why wouldn't I be happy?

I think it's great. Yeah.

No, you don't have to come here. I'm fine.
I'm not gonna eat anything. Okay.

And I have the perfect
wedding present.

[ Clears Throat ] [ Beeps ]

You are going to live
with Emma and Fletcher.

[ Sighs ]

You're irritating me.

I can't believe it.

It's so weird having this on my finger.
I mean, hey, look.

It even sparkles in the rain.
Blinding. Ouch.

So I'm thinking about getting
DJ Humble to spin at my party.

I don't know though. Is that weird?
You should go for it.

I'm not really a big band kind of girl.
Whatever.

It's your wedding. Oh. My mom
can't fly up until the wedding.

She's too busy with work. But who cares.
I've got you, right?

Yeah. I'm so psyched. So would
you come with me to meet her?

I'm sorry. What? Meet who?
Marion St. Claire.

Haven't you been listening? I've got
an appointment with her on Friday.

You already made an appointment?
Yeah.

You just got engaged last night.
I know.

But technically,
I'm already behind.

You gotta book early
if you want the Plaza.

The Plaza? I can't believe this.

What-What's the matter?
Why are you mad?

I'm not mad. No, not at you.

I just don't know
what's taking Daniel so long.

Oh, God. I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have-

We don't have to talk about this.
Let's just drop it.

Don't worry about me.
Worry about Daniel.

He's gonna be dead soon.
Why? What-

Call you later. What are you go-

Liv, you let him
do this his own way.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Honey!

Will you just marry me, already?

Yeah. Okay.

Isn't that what you want?
'Cause it's what I want,

and I just wanna know
if you want to marry me.

Don't you wanna get married? Honey,
can we talk about this later?

Oh, you changed your mind? I saw
the Tiffany box in the closet.

Right? [ Exhales ]

Uh-Oh, my God.

[ Chuckles ]

It's not a ring?

If it's a key chain
I'm gonna kill myself,

and I'm taking you down with me.
Oh.

Why can't you just tell me
right here and right now?

Is it something
that you would want?

Would you want-Would you
want to get married?

You know what I will tell you?

I have never met
a more obnoxious,

complicated, overbearing,

gorgeous, smart, sexy woman
in my life.

And-[ Laughs ]

If you had just waited
until tonight-

[ Gasps ]

[ Laughs ] then you wouldn't be
the woman I fell in love with,

because she doesn't know
how to wait.

Will you hold that for a second?
Yeah.

Which is fine, as long as I get
to spend the rest of my life...

trying to catch up with her.

Liv? Hmm?

Will you marry me?

Are you proposing? Mmm.

Really? Honey, it's
so out of nowhere.

Liv, shut up. Yes or no?
Yes. Yes.

Babe. Yes.

- This is not how I planned it.
- [ Liv ] Are you kidding?

Oh!

I love "Bring Your Hot Girlfriend
to Work" day. Totally.

[ Squeals ]

[ Narrator ] And that is the
journey that brought...

these two young brides to my townhouse
on that particular afternoon.

[ Whines ] No, no, no. Don't do that.
Not now. Not now. Let's go.

Okay. I'm good.

I'm Marion St. Claire,

the most sought-after
wedding planner in Manhattan.

Hi. We're Marion's 1:00. Mm-hmm.

We're both getting married, and we're
both each other's maid of honor.

No way. That's incredible.

Ms. St. Claire will see you now.

Hi. I'm Liv Lerner. Hi, Ms.
St. Claire. Wow.

This is Emma Allan.
What an honor.

We've been best friends for a long time.
I can't believe this.

Sit.

Okay. Got it.

A wedding marks the first day...

of the rest of your life.

You have been dead until now.

W-Were you aware of that?

You're dead right now.

I understand. Thank you.

Angela, for example,
will die dead.

Now I've read the brief
that she put together on you-

[ Laughing ]
june weddings at the Plaza.

[ Chuckling ] So it's not
even a remote possibility?

If you'd gone elsewhere,
not a chance.

But you've come to me.
[ Laughs ]

Call me dream catcher.
I'll answer.

Ooh. Dream catcher.

I happen to have...

three openings at the Plaza in June.
[ Typing ]

Two the first Saturday,

and one the last Saturday.

That would be
the 6th and the 27th.

Oh! My parents' anniversary is the 6th.
That's so meant to be.

Oh, my gosh! Yeah.

- Well, then I'll take the 27th.
- Great.

Um, you'll wanna discuss this
with your grooms.

- [ Together ] No.
- All right then.

Just sign and...

date these.

Okay. This feels pretty good
right now, I gotta say.

Now, uh, we should
discuss themes.

Uh, elegant minimalism-
Classic traditionalism-

with romantic textures.
And trendy infusion.

- I'm impressed.
- Really?

Well, we love you so much. She
means-She means "Thank you."

[ Angela ] Your 1:15 is here, Ms.
St. Claire.

Thank you... so much.

[ Angela ] I have packets
for you up front.

Bride to bride, there's only
oneJune opening left at the Plaza.

Oh, my God. Thank you.
You are so sweet.

Ms. St. Claire, first off,
I'm obsessed with you.

- Uh, it's an honor and a privilege.
- Sit.

Sure.

[ Squealing ]
june. At the Plaza.

[ Both Screaming, Laughing ]

[ Marion Narrating ] Look at
them-So blissfully unaware...

of the implications
of their wedding date.

You see, at this point, june was a
mere three and a half months away-

A blink ofan eye,
in wedding time.

[ Woman ] ♪ Got my dreams
Got my life, got my love ♪

♪ Got my friends
Got the sunshine above ♪

♪ Why am I making this
hard on myself ♪

♪ When there's so many beautiful
reasons I have to be ♪

♪ Happy ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

♪♪ [ Vocalizing ]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Miss Wang-

Ohh-Lace bodice.

Basque waist, 10-layer tulle-

[ Sighs ] You should try it on.

No. No, no.
I'm wearing my mom's dress.

Emma, are you sure?

Your mom's dress is beautiful,
but is-is it your dream or hers?

It's mine. It's mine.
I wanna surprise her.

But it is your day.

Can't you just send her a big box
of chocolates on Mother's Day,

and get the dress you want?
It's really pretty.

And I do love strapless. Me too.

I feel like I'm cheating
on my mom's dress.

I can't. I can't. I've very
comfortable with my decision.

I'm just gonna put it back.
Put it back. Okay.

But I mean, if you like it,

you should try it on.
No. You saw it first.

Please. That's a terrible reason.
We're gonna try this on, okay?

No, uh, I'm gonna... try it on.

It's stunning. It's perfect.

[ Exhales ] I know.
Right? Mm-hmm.

I should probably keep looking.

Do you think there is something
better than Vera Wang?

I'm sorry. Do they keep that next to the
something that is better than chocolate?

- No. Get the dress.
- What if you change your mind?

Just be very careful about
any pre-wedding weight gain.

You don't alter a Vera to fit you;
You alter yourselfto fit Vera.

Weight gain. Please. Yeah.
Right. Me lose control?

You see these eyes?
You know what that is?

Focus. That's right.

Well, it's contacts- and focus.

- You know, I'll take it.
- Perfect.

I'll get you more champagne.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Together ] Marion.

A terrible mistake
has been made,

one I assure you
has never happened before...

in the House of St. Claire.

Your weddings have been
booked on the same day.

Can you say that again?
I'm sorry. What?

[ Clears Throat ] Your weddings have
been scheduled for the same date.

- Mother "F."
- Are you insane?

The Plaza is our lifelong dream.

Angela... mixed up the dates.

You are now both set
to be married June 6,

and the other bride on June 27.

The next available date
at the Plaza is June 15-

- Perfect. I'll take it.
- Three years from now.

[ Weak Laugh ]

- This is no-
- No, I can't-

It's no problem.
Hold on. It's no problem.

Because I'll negotiate it.
I negotiate for a living.

- I'll get the other bride to switch
her dates with you. - Trust me.

You can't say no to that face.

Yes, well, our
confidentiality agreement...

means that I cannot tell you
who she is,

- so which one of you will choose a
different venue? - [ Intercom Beeps ]

[ Angela ] I'm leaving right now, Ms.
St. Claire.

Word to the wise, dear-
and also to you-

do not use me as a reference.

Hello, Angela. Just...

tell us where
the other bride is,

and nobody's gonna get hurt.

[ Beeping ]

Hi. Hello, Stacy.

How are you? It's Emma and Liv.

You look gorgeous.
Did you lose weight?

You want me to change
the date of my wedding?

Yeah. That'd be great.

No. You take the 6th,
give me the 27th-

She can be your wedding buddy.

I'm a ball. Really. I am.
Don't touch me.

Let's talk numbers.

Every wedding has a price, hon.
What's yours?

You can't buy me. So again, no.

No, no, no.
A thousand times, no.

Good luck, ladies.

There's something
wrong with you.

You're not leaving
until you change your-

- [ Screams ]
- [ Stacy ] She's crazy!

Just change your date. She's crazy!
Somebody call Security.

You won't even change your date!
You're crazy!

It's unnecessary for you to touch me so
hard. Technically, she pushed me too.

Come on. Have a nice day.
Whatever.

We could sue. We could sue. You're
a lawyer. We could sue 'em all.

We could sue the Plaza. We could
sue Marion. We could sue Angela-

What's the point? None of
them are gonna make it right.

No. It's up to us.
I want you at my wedding.

And whichever way
this works out,

one of us will just have to be
married on a different day.

Absolutely. I mean, you know,
I want you at my wedding.

Obviously. If we can't think
of any other way out of this,

one of us will simply
have to be flexible.

Yeah. One of us will just
have to change venues.

Right. One of us could.

Probably, um, not...

the one of us who's been
saving up for a decade,

because she makes a pittance compared
to the other one of us, but-

True. I mean, or it would be,

if the other one of us wasn't so
desperate to get married at the Plaza...

because the Plaza, practically, is the only
happy memory she has of her childhood.

So, oops. That's-Right.

One of us will have to
move her date. Yep.

One of us will.

And until one of us decides, we
shouldn't make any concrete plans.

Agreed. There's some time
before we lock things in.

Let's just not do anything-
Right.

Until one of us moves her date.
Okay.

So, um-

Talk to you soon.
One of us should-

Call the other one.

One of us hasn't called me
yet, but you know what?

She's gonna move her date. She always was
the bendy one, even as a kid, remember?

Yeah, she didn't sound
too bendy to me.

[ TV: Explosions, Beeps ]

[ Beeps ]

I called Fletch,
and she picked up.

He's doin' my taxes
tomorrow night.

You can't get all buddy-buddy
with him. Not now.

Anyway, Daniel can do your taxes.
He's "financey."

It's a hedge fund, babe. We
don't do a lot oftax prep.

- Whatever. You do our taxes. - Fletch has
been my accountant for six years. I'm going.

You're being ridiculous.
Just have a double wedding.

What are we,
41 -year-old twin sisters?

Babe! Double wedding.

[ Fletcher ] A double wedding.
I think that's a great idea.

- It would be a hell of a party.
- You know, uh, no.

[ Chuckles ] I've shared
everything my whole life with Liv.

I'd kinda like my own day just-just once.
[ Calculator Clicking ]

I know, bug. Is this everything?
This is all your as receipts-

Threw it all in the shoe box.
I don't know.

It's my dream too-To get married
at the Plaza. [ Clicking ]

I have been saving
since I was 16.

I just need a few more days
to... let it go.

I'll find a new dream. Liv's
reasons are better than mine.

It's like American Idol,
all right?

Liv is the Simon. Ugh. God.

I mean, no offense.
But you're the Paula.

Even when they can't sing,
you compliment their outfit.

It's nice. Well, but
everyone listens to Simon.

I wouldn't marry Simon.
I'd marry me some Paula.

Mmm.

That's nice. Just pick one.
I'm fine with any of'em.

See? That's why I need a maid of honor.
You don't care.

I- Hey, you wanna have her
back in the game?

You know what you're gonna have
to do, and the sooner the better.

We need to give our guests some notice.
Exactly.

Which is why save-the-dates are so key,
but you don't care. [ Phone Rings ]

It's not that I don't care.
Well, get your phone then.

Hello? Men.

Yo, Fletch. No, nothin' much. Just
lookin' at save-the-dates or invites.

Are we still on for tomorrow?
Yeah, totally.

Any sign of progress on your end?
Is Liv softening at all?

No way. And there's no way
she's gonna blink first.

They haven't spoken for a week.

That's a century in girl years.

What is it about weddings
that makes 'em so worked up?

I know. I have no idea.

It's, like, the wrong time to let
the guy know that you're crazy.

You know what I mean? It's
not how I'd play it. Yeah.

[ Door Opens ] Oh, you know what?
She's here now.

I'll see you tomorrow?
All right.

[ Emma ] Hey.

Hi, sweetie. Hi.

How was pep squad?
I hate pep squad.

I particularly hate
peppy teenage girls...

who insist everyone be aggressive-B.E.
aggressive.

It's, like, there are other pathways
in life besides aggression, you know?

I'm gonna call Liv.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Amie and Marissa are
throwing us thatjoint shower,

and it'd be good to have all
this behind us by then. Right?

You sure? Yeah.

Yeah. I agree. I was just talkin'
to Daniel. She's on her cell.

You should call her. They're out doin'
their save-the-dates or whatever.

- What?
- You should hit her up.

You have to know
your "date" date...

to send out your save-the-dates.

Oh.

We were both gonna wait,
and she-she-

I ca-I can't believe it.

You can't believe this?
Really? It's Liv.

She's always thinking
about number one. No.

Not this time. No.
No, no, no, no, no.

I am a bride too. Okay?

I'm number one too.

I- You are my number one.
I know. That's how I feel.

Bug, what are you doing?

[ Sighs ] [ Beeping ]

Subject... Listen. Listen.
No, no, no, no, no.

Emergency. This is not spam.

- I'm getting married, June 6― - You
don't have to slam on the keys.

The Plaza Hotel. Be there.
X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O. Emma.

Address book. B.C.C. everyone.

Oops. Not you, Liv.

And send. [ Beeps ]

[ Beeping, Buzzing ]

[ Beeps ] "Emergen-C-C-C.
'Thys' is 'nit' spam."

I'm get married. June 6th."
[ Sizzling ]

[ Beeping ] "K.J.A."? "Kuh-jaw"?

[ Beeps ] "Emma."

What is "kuh-jaw," Emma?

[ Beeps ]

Great. Emma's wedding's gonna
be better than ours was.

Glen. [ Beeps ]

Maybe her marriage
will be better too.

Not filled with loneliness and sadness.
[ Toilet Flushes ]

I hope you can appreciate the
positions Amie and I are in.

- We're not taking sides.
- Relax.

We're not making any plans
until we figure this out. Wow.

You're so cool about it. Yeah.

- How else am I gonna be? - I mean-Without
taking sides though, I have to say,

Emma's save-the-date e-mail
was a smidge tacky.

I mean, "June 6 at the Plaza,"
smiley face?

What's next, hearts
over her I's?

Come on, really― What was she thinking?
Oh, hey.

I know, right?
That was so tacky.

It's shocking. [ Emma ] Hi.
Hi, Heidi.

[ Indistinct ]

- Oh, Elizabeth, I love my ring.
- [ Woman ] Oh, my gosh.

[ Liv ] Emma?

You sent out
your save-the-dates?

Yeah, I did, actually.

[ Woman Clears Throat ] Uh-

Surprised?

So one of us...

is not moving her date?

[ Both Slurping ]

Well, you amaze me, Liv.
You really do.

You-You never ask me what I want. You
just figure you know best, end ofstory.

"Emma, wear this.
Emma, say that."

Well, Emma's pretty
frickin' tired of it.

- Oh, whoa. - Don't think I didn't
notice how totally freaked out...

you were because I had the nerve to get
engaged before you did. Okay, wait.

First of all, Daniel
bought that ring in December.

Okay? So officially,
I was first.

Oh, pathetic. Pathetic! Second, people always
make you do things you don't wanna do.

Emma, it's like you don't have a spine.
Oh, wait. That's right.

You don't have a spine.

[ Women Murmuring ] Wow.

No one could accuse you
of being soft, Liv.

You grabbed the first date
in June Marion offered...

without even asking me first.

At least I'm not so terrified
of being alone...

that I people-please
my way through life.

Emma, you settle.

Are you saying that I'm
settling with Fletcher?

I wasn't thinking
about Fletcher.

You came up with that one
on your own.

Move your date, Liv.

You move your date, Emma.

It's done. You lose.

Your wedding better watch it.

What did you just say?

I said your wedding should
be very scared right now.

If I were your wedding,
I'd sleep with one eye open.

Why don't you just save
your threats for Daniel?

After all, isn't that how you
got a proposal out of him?

- [ Whispering ] That's how I did it.
- Your wedding can suck it.

What did you just say?
My wedding can suck it?

I said your wedding can suck it.
Your wedding can s-Be-

I mean, yours can be, um-

Can-Can be, uh-

[ Snickers ] not that-

Please.

Bye, ladies. Hey, Liv.

[ Whispering ] Yes.

Your wedding will be huge.

Just like your ass at prom.

[ All Gasp ]

We're done.

5:00, Saturday, June 6. Done.

Done. Hmm. Good.

Now we just have to find you another
maid of honor, uh, and fast.

You'll be spending more time
with her than with the groom.

My friends won't take sides. Who
says it has to be a friend?

- No! Notjust a bridesmaid.
- [ Man ] This spot okay?

Yeah. Maid of honor.
Maid of honor.

Yeah. We were so close
in law school.

That study group was nuts.

Oh, sweetie, you are my
second cousin's best friend.

Ofcourse you were at the very
top of my maid of honor list.

Honestly, Carla. Caitlin?

Erin? No.
I did not sleep with him.

All right, okay.
I did, actually.

Once. Twice.

What difference does it make? He
was a loser, and he was lousy in-

You did? Really?
I didn't hear that-

Two kids? Wow. You guys must
have had really cute kids.

Uh, yeah.
Tell him I say hi, and-

Actually, I'm hopping into a cab, so I'm
gonna give you a call a little later.

- Kevin?
- Yeah?

I'd like to promote you-

to mister of honor.

Do I get-Is-Is it,
like, a pay thing?

No. Just-It's just an honor.

[ Deb ] Uh, have a classmate read your
draft. I think that's a great idea.

Because by letting a classmate
read your draft―.

Oh, thank God. All right. You
guys finish the rest of this.

Just read it yourselves.

Did you get my note? Yeah.

Can you take
my late bus patrol today?

Sure.

Deb? Yeah?

[ Chuckles ] [ Chuckling ] Yeah?

I know we're not exactly
friends-We're not?

Then why am I always doing you favors?
You never do me-

[ Clears Throat ] Never mind.

How'd you like
to be my maid of honor?

Do I get to pick out
my own dress?

I tend to draw the eye,
so it's gotta be good.

Absolutely.

I mean, you know, I might
make some suggestions, but-

Oh, you know, I'm really swamped though.
I'd need a lot of help.

What do you think
the bride is for?

To make the maid of honor's
life easier, right?

[ Chuckling ]
I mean, come on. Please.

Aw. All right. Since you begged-

Okay.
I'll be your maid of honor.

It's gonna be great.

[ Door Shuts ]
It's gonna be great.

♪♪ [ Stereo: Classical ]
[ Slurping ]

[ Gargles ] Whew.

Hey, can I make a suggestion?

Have you ever heard
of "pee-not gree-gio"?

It's this really nice
white wine.

It's very elegant. [ Slurps ]

Mmm.

Now, your music is-Yes.

Still pending, and, sadly, DJ Humble
is no longer available on that date.

Oh? But he and I had a deal-
in principle.

Yes, well, one of my
other brides outbid you.

I can't give you
her name, of course.

That bitch!

Not you. No, a different one.

A person.

God, she's scary.

You don't think that Liv-
Yeah, I do.

No. No. She knew
how much that meant to me.

It's too cruel. It's too mean-spirited.
Too in character?

Hang on. Wait.

Didn't you tell me
she's wearing a Vera Wang?

Yes. I read those
run really tight,

and she's kind of an ex-heifer.

No. No, she's-

She's-Little bit.

Mmm. Oh!

That is good. Excellent.

Is that like cream cheese?
It is cream cheese.

Like a hint. [ Inhales ]

- Has Emma chosen her cake yet?
- Let's keep to our own work, shall we?

Now, as for the flowers,
Eufloria has put in a bid.

Wejust can't have the same cake, that's
all. And I have to have the seven-tiered...

white chocolate-curl torte, enrobed in
marzipan with edible pearls and flourishes.

Well, you're safe.

Emma has chosen
a less extravagant cake.

And she's always saying
that she doesn't need...

to impress people
with how much she can spend.

I'm just going to check my
ice sculptor Rolodex. Right.

Oh, my God.

That was a dig at me.

Emma thinks I'm showing off?

I never thought she resented how much
money I made, but I guess I was wrong.

Really? I didn't get that
from what she-

Marion's eating it up.
[ Sniffs ]

[ Exhales ] She likes Emma best.

Emma always gets the sympathy vote. I
never get the sympathy vote, do I?

Well, maybe it's asking a little
bit too much for people...

I was worried about her cake. It could be
two Ding-Dongs and a Yodel for all I care.

What's that? What's that?

Don't-

[ Liv ] Dance lessons?

Damn, she's competitive. Their dance
is totally gonna be better than ours.

Let me see Canary Song again.
Dandelion. Canary.

- Isn't there something in between?
- Sort of like a burnt Canary.

Video montage of their lives?
Really?

It's gotta be Fletcher's idea.
That's just-

It's gonna be, like,
pictures of them as babies.

You know, Emma with one tooth,

and Fletcher in his little
superhero outfits. It's tacky.

[ Knocking ] Can I help you?

- Yeah. Delivery for Liv Lerner.
- That's chocolate.

I'll take that.

Mmm. Looks good.

"Liv, you deserve this
and more."

Isn't Daniel the sweetest?

I'll just have one. Thanks.

Just one.

W-Was she up there? Yeah.

Oh. And it's impossible to go
get them back? No, no, no, no.

She ate halfthe box already, lady.
Forty-five dollars.

Yes. Okay.

That is the agreed upon-

Butjust so you know-
[ Chuckles ]

If you heard what was actually going
on, you would totally side with me.

You gonna tip me? I thought
that was including tip,

but anyway, I'll give it to
you because I'm the Paula.

You know, I've been thinking.

If you really want to mess with
Emma's first dance-Mm-hmm?

There are ways. Tell me more.

I don't know, baby. Dance class?

Come on. We know how to dance.

It's a slow dance. It's
like we did in college.

It's a waltz. It's a little more precise
than just holding each other up.

And besides, Marion says
that our first dance...

introduces our couple style to the world.
Oh, well, naturally...

I'm incredibly concerned with our
couple style. [ Door Opens ]

Space!

[ Laughs ]

I am Ricky Coo,

the Doctor of Dance.

I bring you motion.
I bring you rhythm.

I bring you sex.

Please, get on your feet,
and let's dance!

[ Man On Stereo ] ♪ Y'all ready for this?
♪ ♪♪ [ Techno-Pop Dance Beat ]

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪♪

[ Both Panting ]

Maybe Marion shouldn't be recommending
Ricky Coo, Doctor of Dance so much.

Yeah. I don't know about Ricky.

[ Man ]
Good for you. Doing warm-ups.

Yeah, I got your voice mail saying you
wanted to push the lesson from 1:00 to 4:00.

How long have you been here?

Oh, my God. [ Scoffs ]

What? Liv.

Uh, just give us a second. [
Fletcher ] I mean, who does that?

She's finally gone completely crazy.
Not that I'm surprised at all.

I mean, she's always been nuts. I know.
And messing with our couple style?

There is no way I'm letting
her get away with that. Good.

[ Groans ] You know who I
feel sorry for is Daniel.

[ Snorts ] He's not even gonna
be able to control his own wife.

What?

No, I'm just saying-It's Liv. Because
she never thinks about- And?

I'm going inside. What?

[ Marion Narrating ] The final month before
the big day is a litmus test for couples...

of how they work together,
solve problems, communicate.

The early, happy glow is over,
and the nerves begin to set in.

With some couples, it brings out the
fundamental conflicts in their relationship.

With other couples,
the lucky ones,

it highlights the essential
harmony of their partnership.

Of course, even the luckiest bride
needs something to take the edge off.

Ooh, for me! AJolly Walrus cookie bouquet.
Is Daniel a keeper or what?

I'd just be careful.
Miss Wang is a stern mistress.

Video montage-Ifthere's gonna be live
pictures and, like, video footage-

I know. It's, like, verging
on being a digital short.

I don't know how they're gonna cut me
out of the footage. I'm in everything.

Oh, this came for you
via messenger.

I can't wait to
get into this one.

Mr. Simmons called again asking
for the update on the agreement.

- Rutherford Press? That's my hometown.
- I'm just gonna take this.

Suppose I should just tell them
you're dealing with a crisis?

Oh, my God.

They still print
engagement announcements.

I'm sort of like a celebrity
back there, probably.

You know, it's like, local girl makes good.
Such sweet people.

- Oh, wow!
- What the?

That's not you. Is it?

Emma looks gorgeous.

- But not on the inside, which is-
- Kevin.

It's the best she can do, huh?

So lame. She wants to play dirty? I can
play dirty. [ Dial Tone, Beeping ]

You can play dirty.
I've seen you do it.

I went to law school, people.

I'm starting to think
that 30 is the cutoff.

Mmm. Because it's the last time
men want to date women their age.

A 30-year-old guy will
date a 30-year-old girl.

But a 35-uear-old guy
wants someone 30.

A 40-year-old guy
wants someone 30, too, or 28.

Mm-hmm. It's a terrible planet.

I know. You know
what I was wondering?

What are the real reasons behind Emma
and Fletcher having to tie the knot?

Why can't they change their date?
Think about it.

She's pregnant! Emma's pregnant!
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, no. [ Groans ]

- Oh, no!
- Liv?

Are you all right? What the
hell is goin' on? [ Groaning ]

Look, let me in!

I gained five pounds. Five pounds.
It might as well be 50!

The dress doesn't fit!
And if the dress doesn't fit,

my wedding's gonna be a big black
hole in the history of the Plaza!

Well, "A" it's our wedding, hon.

And "B"... so what? Let it out.

You don't alter Vera Wang
to fit you.

You alteryourself to fit Vera.

What do boys learn in school?
Sorry.

It's not the end of the world.

Really. What-What-What can I do
to make you feel better?

It's what you can stop doing.
This is all your fault.

It's sweet of you to send me those
treats, but I-What treats?

You know, the treats.
The Truffle-opolis.

The truffle tray.

TheJolly Walrus cookie bouquet?

International Butter Club?

The-Honey-[ Chuckles ] I
didn't send you any of that.

Oh, my God, Emma!

She's trying to make me fat
so I can't fit into my dress!

What is that? What is that?

The International Butter Club?

You mean, you've actually
been sitting around...

eating sticks of butter
from different lands?

[ Marion Narrating ] The final week
before the wedding is do-or-die.

I expect my brides
to be flawless.

Perfect hair, skin, nails,
everything.

[ With English Accent ] Hello there. I
need to get to the back really fast.

Really, really fast, because I
left something there yesterday.

It's very important that
I-I so don't care.

Go on back.

Miss Allan. Oh, hi.

Hi. Bit of Honey today?
That's the one I loaded.

Yes, but, uh,
just a pre-wedding glow.

Sure thing. Okay, thanks.

[ Woman ] ♪ I wish you well ♪

♪ I hope you survive ♪

♪ I hope you live on, baby ♪

♪ So I can watch you cry ♪

♪ 'Cause I know
in time you'll see ♪

♪ What you did to me ♪

♪ And you'll come runnin' back ♪

♪ I'm gonna rain
on your parade ♪

♪ Oh, I won't take it again ♪

♪ And I'll keep raining
Raining, raining ♪

♪ Overyou ♪

Wow!

What happened to you?
You look like a traffic cone.

Will it fade?

Sort of. [ Whispers ]
This is three loofahs.

Is it that bad? Fletch said he
didn't think it was that bad.

Oh, well, honey,
"Filch" is your fiancé.

He probably told you
you had nice hair too.

[ Liv ] This wedding stuff
is not a walk in the park.

For sure.
I'm surprised. I don't know.

I'm surprised I haven't been, you know,
sent into my therapist's office.

That's what I've heard. T-U-F-F.

You should have heard me
on the phone the other day,

talking to the guy who messed
up my centerpieces. Oh, gosh.

It was unbelievable. It's like one thing
after another, every single time.

It snowballs. Listen, can I get
a little bit more lowlight?

Yeah, especially right here. Hold that
thought, sweetie. I'm gonna get your color.

Just make sure it's not so-
Like, more gold base.

♪ I'm gonna rain
on your parade ♪

♪ No, I won't take it again ♪

♪ And I'll keep raining, raining
Raining over you ♪♪

Maybe I should take up chanting.
♪♪ [ Continues ]

I think it's kind of― might be
necessary at this time of my life.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God. Is it good?

Great!

I get to do noth-[ Gasps ]

Okay. I-I don't know
what happened. Um-

I gotta let it sit
for a day or two.

Maybe I'll try to strip it
down to white.

My hair's blue!

It's blue! I have blue hair!

- I'm getting married in a week.
- Congratulations.

In a week! A week!

Come on. I know you're in here.

Ah, here's your video montage.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

Fletch?

Bug? Do you have something
you need to tell me?

- Um... Are we about to
have a little orange baby?

Apparently we're registered
at Babies "R" Us.

Isn't that nice?

Marissa. Where are you?
I can barely hear you.

I can't believe you told Emma.

Whatever.

You guys, don't get too
attached to the dancers.

They're paid to be nice to you.

Yeah! ♪ New York and Japan ♪

Hello, bride!

[ Deejay ] All right, all right. Now
a little birdie has just told me...

that we have a bride-to-be
in the house tonight.

Over here! But she has
been a very bad bride.

Officer Not-Your-Husband
is here to arrest you!

♪ I'm a model
You know what I mean ♪

- ♪ And I do my little turn on the
catwalk ♪♪ - You're under arrest...

for being too sexy.

Time to be frisked.

Oh, my goodness!

Great!

We got two brides
in the house tonight!

[ Women Cheering ]

[ Deejay ] Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Hold up!

We have two brides
in the house tonight.

Emma, this party
is invitation only.

I'm getting married too, baby!

[ Deejay ] Well, I'll
invite you right up there.

- DJ Jazzles invites bride number
two up on stage. - Why not?

Come on up here, girl!
We want to see the way you move!

That's what I'm talking about!
Work it out, girl!

You can't even let me have
my own bachelorette party?

Much the way you couldn't let me
have DJ Humble. That was low, Liv.

By the way, did you hear?
I'm not pregnant, okay?

I say it's time for a dance-off.
Dance-off!

Dance-off! Dance-off!
Dance-off! Dance-off!

♪ You say I'm so crazy ♪

[ Cheering ]

- ♪ Coming home intoxicated ♪
- Oh! Oh!

♪ I say I just want to love
you ♪ [ Woman ] Come on, Liv!

♪ I just wanna love you, baby ♪

- Aw, come on, Liv.
- Come on, bride number one.

- I know y'all can do better than that.
- ♪ Give it to me, baby ♪

Sprockets!

[ Women Cheering ]

Break it down! Now the sexiest bride
takes first prize. Let's see it!

♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] We gonna get
this party started, y'all!

Showdown!

Space!

[ Deejay ]
Check out bride number two!

♪ They be watchin' while we wiggle
around Look at 'em droolin' ♪

♪ They ain't used to this sound
I keep 'em movin' ♪

♪ All my ladies put your hands
in the air It's all right now ♪

♪ We gon' keep you up on your
feet the whole night now ♪

♪ Pop them bottles
Yeah, drink that up, man ♪

♪ Got you feelin' crazy
Well, that was the plan ♪

♪ They was waitin' for me
Wasn't ready for this ♪

♪ He got the game sewed up
No, I'm talkin' bout Swiss ♪

[ Cheering ]
♪ Why would you try ♪

♪ We got 'em shakin' everything
from the hood to Dubayy ♪

Bride number two, you are the
sexiest bride of the night, baby.

Give it up for bride number two,
y'all!

Sorry, bride number one.
Can't win 'em all, girl.

♪♪ [ Techno Dance Pop ]

It's weird, losing.
I gotta say I'm not loving it.

No, but you were both so good.

Yeah, you really got up there,
and you tried.

- Forget it. It's my bachelorette
party, right? - Yes.

[ Shutter Clicks ]
Good girl. Here you go.

It's like you read my mind.

[ Car Alarm Honking ]

[ Gasps ] Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Taxi! Taxi.

Kevin. Kevin. I need coffee.

Excuse me. I need coffee.
I need three Advil.

Yeah. Four waters.

Get a splash of that Kahlúa next
to wherever that paralegal is.

Hey, Elana. Good morning.

You work too hard. I'm gonna
treat you to lunch. Okay.

- Where are you, Kev? Are you in the
office? - I hear you coming. Liv?

Liv, blue! Hair! Hey, Advil.

- [ Whispering ] You have blue hair!
- [ Gasps ]

[ Whispering ] Oh, my God.
I totally forgot.

I was supposed to get it
dyed back at 7:00.

I think it's very-It's gonna
be... They're gonna love it.

I got it.
I'm gonna figure it out.

If we could all refer to the briefs I've drawn
up. I've highlighted a few main points.

Our discovery process in
depositions and document requests-

maybe you guys could share that one...
has yielded significant results.

W-W-Wait. Okay. I am looking at
the brief dated two weeks ago.

Where is the latest version? I could
have sworn that I updated these.

Just a second.

Goddamn it!

Your hair.

Yes, my hair.
My hair... is blue!

My hair is blue. My wedding's in a
week, and I'm paying my maid of honor.

Okay? Or rather Mr. Colson is.

And, yes, maybe
I misplaced the brief!

And, yes, maybe my best friend
in the world forever hates me!

Hates me!

[ Gasps ] Oh, my God.

[ Sobs ]
I'm gonna be a bald bride.

It's so not ideal.

This is who's representing us?

Not anymore. Miss Lerner's off the case.
I'm taking over.

No, now look, calm down. I'm
gonna get it dyed back.

[ Sighs ] Miss Lerner.

You are excused.

[ Sniffs ] I'm not this girl.

I just don't screw up.
I just don't get demoted.

It's like I don't have anybody.
I feel so alone.

Hey.

Babe, I'm right here.

[ Sniffs, Sighs ]

You miss your friend,
especially now.

She'd know just what to say.

[ Sobs ] I'm mad at her too.

She went for the hair.
Girlfriends don't do that.

You'll fix it. And if you can't, I love it.

I do. You're like this
very tall, very hot Smurf.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, honey.

It's not just about the hair.

I'm mad because
maybe she's right.

And it's exhausting having to
try to be perfect all the time.

That's how I held it together
ever since I was a kid.

I figured nothing-nothing bad would
happen again if I was just...

one step ahead ofeverything
and everybody, all the time.

[ Sighs ]
Life isn't perfect, hon.

It's messy.

You're right.

I mean, I was gonna be
perfect for you,

but now that you say
it's impossible... Hey.

No, you don't. No, you
don't have to be perfect.

I've always wanted a human wife.

Yeah, the other ones are just...
too hard to inflate.

Hey. Hey.

Almost back to normal, huh?
I know, right?

I have, like, one layer ofskin left, but
that should be okay for our wedding.

So, oops, sorry, Liv.

I wish I had pictures. You know?

It's like I was up there, and there's
this spotlight, and when I hit that rope-

- Oh, my God!
- Hey! Enough, enough, enough!

I've heard this story
10,000 times, Emma.

You've been acting
a little wild lately. Okay?

And I'm tired of it.
So knock it off.

Lately you've been very mad
and tense and excited.

You know what? I just don't
know how to deal with this.

Uh-huh. And quite frankly, you have
me questioning whether or not...

this is something about-to do with
the wedding or ifthis is permanent.

Um, well, Fletcher, it is kind
of permanent. You know?

It is possible that I might be mad or tense or
excited more than once in the next 40 years.

Is it? Really? You know what?
You're doing it right now.

- What? - You're being, not,
I mean, not bitchy, but-

I said "not bitchy." But you're
right there in that neighborhood.

You should have the cab,
like, take a U-turn,

drop you off at Pleasant
and Nice, where we met.

Are you upset because of this thing with
Liv, or because I'm having feelings?

Totally. Because it's
kind of hard to read you.

My God! That's totally it. I'm upset
because you have feelings. You nailed it.

Okay. So in other words, then don't have so
many feelings, but if I do, don't show 'em.

I shouldn't have so many-Oh, God! I
can't even talk to you right now!

You haven't tried yet. Do you realize-Do
you know how hard this is for me?

I don't even know who you are. You have not
even tried to ask me about how I'm feeling.

I'm so confused.
I don't even know who you are.

All right? I don't want to talk.

It's a tense time. We're fine. Whatever.
I was gonna go to the gym.

Bye.

[ Woman ]
♪ The blank pages of my diary ♪

♪ That I haven't touched
since you left me ♪

Emma?
♪ The closed blinds in my home ♪

Emma! Emma!
♪ See no light of day ♪

♪ Dust gathers on my stereo ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't bear
to hear the radio ♪

♪ The piano sits
in a shady space ♪

♪ With a picture of your face ♪

[ Rings ] ♪ Coffee stains
on your favorite book ♪

[ Drill Whirring ]
Liv Lerner's office.

Hey, Kevin. It's Emma.
Is Liv there?

I'm sorry, can you hold on?
Just a minute, I-Sorry.

It's my worst nightmare.
I'm "cubicle-ized."

I'm sorry, Liv's dealing with a
crisis right now. Can we return?

Fine. That's...

Yeah. Okay, I get it. Bye.

Hey! I'm sorry. Who is this? ♪
I'm scared to face another day ♪

Hello? ♪ 'Cause the fear
in me just won't go away ♪

♪ In an instant, you were gone ♪

♪ And I'm scared ♪♪

Hey!

Hi!

How are you? Long time, huh?

I know. It's my fault. I've been
really busy. Oh, yeah. Right. Busy.

Nothing to do with the fact that I'm the brother
of your archenemy. I mean, best friend.

Hey! I have to rent a tux.

You're coming with me. Come on.

Um, okay. Come on.

I'm a little surprised. I would have thought a
big magazine writer would have his own tux.

How you doing, Em? Hmm?
How you feeling?

Um, feel fine.

Fine's not really
a feeling though.

Fine's a feeling.

"I feel fine." You could say that.
People say that.

Yeah, sure. You can say that.

Okay. It's, like-

[ Sighs ] Things are
crazy with the wedding.

And there are all these details and...
I don't know.

I had this idea of how it was
gonna be in my head, and-

And it's not as much fun as that.
Mm-hmm.

[ Crying ] And I don't know why.

But mostly, I am fine.

[ Sighs ] Let's fix your tie. I
can't look at a tie like this.

Yeah. Change the subject. This
doesn't look right without a tie.

I'm gonna go with a clip-on
'cause I can't figure this out.

You have no patience. Really?

Mm-mmm.

Kind ofthink I wait
around too long.

Hey, let me buy you
a cup of coffee.

Oh, um, I-I can't.
I'm late for, um-

But I'll call you.

Um, when I'm not-You-That-You
look, um, you look really...

You're gonna make a very
handsome bride "giver-awayer."

Thank you.

And, Em, you're gonna make
a beautiful bride. Really.

Yeah? Yeah. I always thought so.

Thanks. Bye.

[ Snoring ]

[ Marion Narrating ] Despite it all, when
morning broke on that sixth of June...

it was the perfect day
for a wedding.

Well, two weddings.

T-minus three hours, people.

Guard your camps, execute your duties,
and we may make it out of here alive.

Incoming, people.

Roses for Lerner.
Peonies for Allan.

Has the Allan officiant reported
for duty yet? Yes, he has.

Linens for Lerner? Yes.

Excellent.

Let's move, people. This
is not a dress rehearsal.

Amazing. You can't even
see the blue anymore.

[ Sighs ] [ Knocking ]

Oh, Liv.

My God, you're the most beautiful
bride I have ever seen.

[ Sighs ] Thank you.

[ Beeps ]
Oh, uh, excuse me a sec.

She's so weird.

God, I'm so nervous.
I don't know why.

- Is the veil supposed to go like that?
- Yes. Why?

Oh, no. You look fine.

You know, honestly, the pressure we put
on brides these days to look perfect.

It's just ridiculous.

You don't have to look your most beautiful
on your wedding day. Okay, everybody?

Mom! [ Chuckles ]

You know,
if you want my opinion-

You know what, Deb? I don't.
I don't want your opinion.

Wh-What?

Deb, I have been dealing with
versions of you my whole life,

and I'm gonna
tell you something...

that I should've told myself
a long time ago.

Sometimes it's about me, okay?

Not all the time, but every once in
a while it's my time. Like today.

If you're not okay with that,
feel free to go.

But if you stay,
you have to do your job.

And that means smiling and talking
about my bridal beauty...

and, most importantly,
not making it about you.

Okay? Can you do that?

Yes, I'd like to.

Then we're good.

Harpist is Allan.
Quartet is Lerner.

How many times
do I have to repeat myself?

[ Clears Throat ]

Check on the grooms' status and
man your battle stations. Okay.

If you're about to jump ship
from one wedding,

let someone else know
so we can create a diversion.

Okay. I'm going to Liv's ceremony
and Emma's reception. More booze.

I'm gonna do a quick head count of the
hot drunk single guys and then choose.

Good call. Allan. Lerner.

Hey, Mr. Allan. How are you?
[ Chuckles ]

I'm good, bud. How're you?
Big day, huh?

Yes. Yes, it is.

I caught a glimpse of Emma when I
was scouting out the enemy camp.

[ Chuckles ]
She is beautiful, sir.

Thank you, Nathan.

Listen, you think I could
have a word with your sister?

Not about the-the fight, about
something else. Oh, yeah. Sure.

[ Women Chattering ]

Liv. [ Chuckles ]

Hi! Mr. Allan!

Oh, Liv.

Wow. Your mom and dad
would be so proud.

- Thank you.
- Of both of you.

Thank you. Thanks.

I just want to pass on a
blessing from our generation.

Notjust from myself but from...

f-from my dear friends who would've
given anything to be here today.

Good luck, sweetheart. Oh.

Nate. Mr. Allan, thank you.

Good to see you. All right.

You too.

Such a good man.
Emma's so much like him.

So, according to Ms. St. Claire,
you are allowed one weak nip...

before the wedding,
to sort of steady the nerves.

So we have scotch-Okay.
Scotch is good.

We have vodka and tequila.

Tequila, tequila?
Tequila! Tequila!

Kevin! Tequila.
Tequila's so trashy.

No, no, no. Kevin. Kevin, listen to me.
You don't even like tequila.

You take this to Marion. You
tell her I switched the DVD's.

She needs to play this
when Emma walks down the aisle.

I thought we were rising
above this sort ofthing.

We are, which is why I need you to
do this for me right now. Hurry!

[ Sighs ]

You'll thank me one day.

[ Knocking ] I'll go get that.

That's very helpful. Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, my God. It's your parents.

Come on in. Look, isn't
she a bridal beauty?

She sure is. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, wow, Mom. Oh, my God!
Is that my dress?

[ Chuckles ] Are you happy?

I'm happy if you're happy.

Sweetheart, you could get married in
a brown paper bag, I wouldn't care.

This is your day.

Oh, boy, I need a tissue.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. You're
gonna screw up your makeup, honey.

I found this when we moved
to Boca, and I saved it.

Dad. What is it? I knew there'd
come a day to give it to you.

Go ahead. Open it.

In case you need
something old or blue.

It's really Liv's.

Well, something borrowed then.

Daddy, I need to see her.

I think she feels the same way.
[ Knocking ]

I'll get that.

Oh, it's Marion.

Uh, places, people.
We're on in two.

Marion, could I just run
down the hallway for a second?

Emma, you are the most beautiful
bride I have ever seen. Ready.

Bride one, walking.
Bride one, walking. Oh.

♪ I was a little girl ♪

♪ Alone in my little world ♪

♪ Who dreamed of a little
home for me ♪ It's time.

♪ I played pretend
between the trees ♪

♪ And fed my houseguests
bark and leaves ♪

♪ And laughed in
my pretty bed of green ♪

♪ I had a dream ♪

♪ That I could fly ♪

♪ From the highest swing ♪

♪ I had a dream ♪

♪ Ooh ♪♪

[ Man ] Ma'am.

Oh, my God. Okay. Okay.

I'm getting married.
Yeah. Are you happy?

Uh-

[ Walkie Beeps ] When I get visual
confirmation on bride one walking...

give video
a five count and roll.

♪♪ [ Harpist Plays "Bridal
Chorus" ] And ready.

Walk.

[ Emma's Voice ] I'm in Acapulco, baby!
Spring break!

I'm here with Miguel.

[ Gasps ]

I love spring break!
I want to dance!

[ Women ] Go, Emma! Go, Emma!

[ Women Cheering ]

- I love being Emma!
- I-

[ Screams ]

We've been hit.
Repeat, we've been hit.

- [ Liv ] Emma!
- [ Screaming ]

[ Liv ] Let me tell you
something about that tape!

God, you swore! You swore you'd
never show that to anyone.

Just... let them go.

Emma!

Bring it on!

[ Liv ] Emma! I don't
want to fight!

Let me just tell you something!
I don't want to fight!

It's over.
I can't do this anymore.

I can't do this anymore.

[ Sighs ]

Thank God.

I'm fine.

[ People Murmuring ]

[ Whispering ] Emma, what the hell are
you doing? Have you lost your mind?

You just ruined our wedding.
You happy now?

Your friend? History. 'Cause she's a bad
influence on you, and she always has been.

Judging by that DVD, you're a lot
more like her than I thought.

Good. I hope so. What?

Fletcher, you've been
my friend for 10 years.

I need you to be my friend now
and tell me the truth.

You're in love with a girl
that you met 10 years ago.

Hey, what's
the matter with that? Huh?

She's not here anymore.

I don't want to spend the rest
of my life fighting, Fletch.

Or caving.

Neither do you.

We're different.
We want different things.

You know that's true, don't you?

I knew.

Good-bye.

Oh, my God. Emma.

I'm fine.

This is all my fault. That video
was never supposed to happen.

I mean, it was supposed to happen,
but I canceled it. I thought I did.

'Cause I could never do that to you.
Emma, you're my best friend.

Oh, this fighting is so dumb.

I'm so sorry about everything.

I'm sorry... too.

I'm so sorry.

If I ruined it for you,
I don't want it anymore.

If Fletcher and I were perfect
for each other, then...

we'd be getting married,
and we're not.

Are you crying?

Yeah. It's like a whole new me.

And I just-I cry all the time.

- I'm kind of a basket case.
- No, Liv, I didn't want that. I'm sorry.

No. No, you were right.

I don't have to have it
constantly together all the time.

It's like...
this huge wake-up call.

And I'm kind ofstumbling around
a little bit, but...

I'm awake.

Will you stand up there with me?

Where else would I be?

Reset, people. Reset.

Oh, I almost forgot something.

Oh, my God. Em?
Where did you find that?

Two little girls
saved it for us.

Come on.

♪♪ [ Pop Rock ]

Hi.

Hey. Are you single? Uh, yeah.

Are you straight?
I don't like labels.

So sorry to hear
about your divorce.

Why? It was only my first.

And next time, I'm definitely
getting married at the Plaza.

♪ You treated me so kind
I'm about to lose my mind ♪

♪ You made me so ♪
♪ Very happy ♪

Do you wanna dance? Yes.

Let's go. Okay.

Um-

No, baby. Baby,
let it happen on its own.

Uh-oh. Did I make a horrible mistake and
marry someone who's smarter than I am?

[ Marion Narrating ]
It was quite a wedding.

And as I stood there watching...

I realized something
I'd forgotten a long time ago.

♪ You made me so very happy ♪♪

Sometimes in life there really are
bonds formed that can never be broken.

Sometimes, you really can
find that one person...

who will stand by you
no matter what.

Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and
celebrate it with your dream wedding.

But there's also the chance...

that the one person you can
count on for a lifetime-

the one person who knows you...

sometimes better
than you know yourself―

is the same person who's been
standing beside you all along.

Wow! You look great. Hello. Oh, my God.
You look great.

Well, how was it?
How was the vacation?

It was amazing. I want to
know everything about it.

Actually, I don't. You married my brother.
That's weird.

So I don't want
to know anything, ever.

Should we toast? To marriage?

Um, actually, I'm not drinking.

Neither am I.

[ Together ] Are you pregnant?

When are-Me too. March third.

[ Together ] When're you due?
March third.

[ Shrieking ]
♪ Do you believe in love ♪

♪ Yes, I believe in love ♪

♪ I believe it's because
I've tried ♪ ♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ And if you know anything
'Bout loving anyone ♪

♪ Somehow
you got to be satisfied ♪

♪ Oh, but don't go changin' ♪

♪ At least not for me, baby ♪

♪ I'm doin' what I gotta do
Ooh ♪

♪ I'll be fine ♪

♪ Find a way to pass the time ♪

♪ While I sit here
waiting on you ♪

♪ Oh, listen ♪

♪ But as soon
as you get the chance, baby ♪

♪ You've got to ♪

♪ Love me ♪ ♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Please ♪ ♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Say you love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Pretty please ♪ ♪Just once ♪

♪ Know it's hard out there ♪

♪ I can imagine how ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Who you are in here ♪

♪ See I can imagine now ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Why can't reality ♪

♪ You don't ever have to be ♪

♪ Able to read my mind Ooh ♪

♪ I can hardly walk
without burning up ♪

♪ So I might as well
start alive ♪

♪ Just as soon
as you get a chance ♪

♪ Darlin' ♪

♪ Love me ♪ ♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Please ♪ ♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Say you love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Pretty please ♪ ♪ Do, do ♪

♪ Why, tell me why
you wanna treat me so bad ♪

♪ When you know I love you ♪

♪ Darlin', don't you know ♪

♪ I'm giving you the best lovin'
you've ever had ♪

♪ No one else for you ♪

♪ Just as soon ♪ ♪Just as soon ♪

♪ Love me ♪ ♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Please ♪ ♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Say you love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Pretty please ♪ ♪ Do, do ♪

♪ Say, won't you come love me
Pretty, pretty please ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Said if you got the time
baby ♪