Original subtitles

Are you sure about this, Master Dian Cecht...?

Of course, Airmid. There is no need for hesitation.

I will clasp this shard of courage close to my heart.

hi

to

hi

hi

ra

no

yuu

hi

to

ki

mu

ne

ni

da

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te

to

hi

hi

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yuu

yuu

ki

ki

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ne

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FAMILIA MYTH

Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up

Girls in a Dungeon?

in a

As I gaze towards the dawn stretching far away beyond these darkened skies,

ha

ji

ha

ma

ri

ha

ji

wa

ji

ma

too

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mo

no

ma

ri

ku

ro

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so

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too

ra

too

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mo

mo

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ku

ku

ro

ro

no

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so

so

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ra

I clenched my fists in frustration.

fu

ru

fu

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ru

te

wo

fu

ru

ni

ru

e

gi

i

e

ru

ta

ru

te

te

wo

wo

ni

ni

gi

gi

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I remember the moments where we were smiling together.

fu

ta

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su

go

fu

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shi

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ga

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ki

o

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shi

ku

shi

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o

o

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ki

ki

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ku

ku

We once shared the same dream, didn't we?

o

na

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ji

yu

o

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me

wo

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ji

mi

ji

yu

te

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ta

yu

me

ne

me

wo

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mi

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te

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I will protect them!

ma

mor

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da

mor

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ta

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No matter how many times it takes,

da

n

na

do

de

m

o

na

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do

do

de

de

m

m

o

o

I will rewrite this tale!

bo

ku

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wa

su

bo

ku

to

o

rii

ku

wa

wo

nu

wa

su

ri

su

to

ka

e

to

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ru

o

rii

rii

wo

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nu

nu

ri

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I'll slash through the darkness to reach the whirlpool of fate,

ya

mi

ya

wo

sa

i

te

ya

mi

un

me

i

no

u

zu

e

mi

wo

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sa

sa

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te

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un

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me

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zu

e

and confirm what lies at the end of the path I've always believed in.

shi

n

e

shi

ji

ta

ko

no

mi

shi

n

chi

wo

n

ji

ta

shi

ji

ta

ka

me

ru

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yo

u

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chi

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wo

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shi

shi

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me

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ru

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yo

yo

u

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ko

Though all in the world may reject me,

no

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ko

se

ka

i

ga

ko

no

bo

ku

wo

ko

ban

da

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shi

te

mo

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ban

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shi

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I'll become stronger.

tsu

yo

tsu

ku

na

ru

tsu

yo

yo

yo

ku

ku

na

na

ru

ru

yo

yo

And keep striving for the dawn

hi

ka

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me

te

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ge

n

that lies beyond the horizon.

ge

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e

Is It Wrong to Try to Find a Hot Spring in Orario?

~Bath God Forever~

Come one, come all!

Experience the extraordinary benefits of a natural hot spring courtesy of Bath God Cecht's Cauldron!

Oh, aren't you a waitress at the Hostess of Fertility...?

It's good to see you again, Miss Tulle.

Isn't this wonderful? The bathhouse.

Yes. As one would expect of a hot spring in Orario.

Orario truly stands above the rest.

Sure is nice, don'tcha think?

"Bath God Cecht's Cauldron"...

Aside from the name, Dian Cecht's managed to build a nice place.

Lady Mikoto loves hot springs.

What a shame that she wasn't able to join us.

True. But knowing Take, a visit to the hot springs was probably at the top of their itinerary.

The mineral water they've got here is amazing.

It practically melts the tension away!

Almost as though it permeates the body...

I told Bell and Welf that they could head home without us, so let's relax and enjoy ourselves.

Agreed!

What a nice bath...

Yeah. I feel refreshed.

I am...

...Ganesha!

Delicious!

Good ol' Master Ganesha. Same as always.

That's a man of the people, for ya...

"Bath God," my ass.

"Natural hot spring," my ass.

Damn con artist...

Look, I get how you must feel, but...

...everyone seems to be having fun.

That's exactly what pisses me off.

If only I could find some sort of proof of his trickery...!

Man, havin' a hot spring in Orario is awesome.

Yeah! Let's come back again soon.

Sure.

Well, what now?

Whaddya think about grabbin' a bite to eat sometime?

Got plenty of daylight left. Wouldn't mind a quick snack.

Or what if we go all out and-

Bell?

There's no way in hell that this bathhouse is a natural hot spring!

I mean, it sits above the first floor of the Dungeon, right?

Since when was there a water source down there?

Y-you make a good point, I guess...

By the way, is there a reason you brought me out here?

It was our idea in the first place. The Miach Familia drafted plans to build a bathhouse in Orario.

Um...!

Of course, I had no intention of claiming it to be a natural hot spring.

Even if the water was ordinary,

I wanted to create an oasis. A place of relaxationwhere people could unwind and rejuvenate themselves.

But no sooner than the plans that I had poured my heart and soul into were finally complete...

...Dian Cecht waltzed in and stole our thunder.

The bastard took it a step further and bragged about building a natural hot spring,

instead of an ordinary bathhouse.

Wow, I had no idea...

This is the man who made off with their loan collateral, after all.

Hence the extreme level of resentment...

Gotcha...

That water does not come from a hot spring.

Then again, there's no denying the fact that all of his patrons swear by the health benefits...

It's true. My body still feels warm.

A friend of mine said that it alleviated their back pain.

Sensitivity to cold, headaches, thinning hair. It even helps with losing weight.

Which is why I need to know!

What kind of snake oil is he putting in that water?!

I'd like to conduct a thorough investigation, but we can't do anything significant on our own.

Therefore...!

...you decided to kidnap me.

Fancy meeting you here, Miach!

Wh-where is that voice coming from?!

Up there!

Dian!

What do you want?!

Listen and rejoice, Miach Mafilia!

Miach Maf-

Miaf Fa-

Bah, your puny Familia's name is so difficult to pronounce!

He's making fun of us...!

C'mon, it's not that difficult to pronounce!

She sells sea shells down by the seashore. The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.

So if she sells seashells on the seashore, then I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Got it.

Miach Hafilmia!

Damn...!

She sells sea shells down by the seashore. The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.

So if she sells seashells on the seashore, then I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Got it!

Miach Hafilmia!

Damn...!

See? I told you!

Even you can't pronounce the name of your Familia.

She sells sea shells down by the seashore. The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.

So if she sells seashells on the seashore,

then I've got great news for the frustrated Master Miach and his children!

Courtesy of Bath God Cecht's Cauldron, have a special gift...

...on the house!

Th-these are...!

For the four members of the Miach Mafilia... What's this?!

What's this!!

How lucky

How lucky!

Allow me to present three coupons for 10% off the admission fee.

10% off admission fee

Cheapskate!

He purposely gave us three...

And the discount is barely worth the cost of a single potato popper!

Doesn't that mean one of us would have to pay regular price?!

Let this discount amounting to one potato popper surprise you not.

All you must do is present your used coupon to Cecht Cauldron's food court and... What's this?!

What's this!!

...receive unlimited potato poppers!

An unlimited

Prize!

Act now and enjoy our luxurious caviar-flavored poppers for a limited time only.

Limited time only

Luxurious caviar flavor

Dammit...!

Talk about a bargain!

That all-you-can-eat, bang-for-your-buck nonsense is classic reverse psychology!

And doesn't that mean one of us would have to pay regular price?!

That girl... That's Miss Airmid, isn't it?

Yup. "Dea Saint."

May the lot of you moochers have a nasty falling out!

One of Dian Cecht's children. She's pretty famous.

Out of the multitude of healers who reside in Orario, she sits at the very top of the list.

"Bath God Cecht's Cauldron," my ass!

You're charging an arm and a leg for an idea you stole from us, so what's with the arrogant attitude?!

I am not the arrogant one here.

Spill it, Airmid.

You know the secret behind that magical water of his, don't you?!

N-no, I don't...

Enough with these accusations! You are obstructing business operations!

My bathhouse is built on a hot spring. Pure and all-natural!

That's not possible!

Answer me, Airmid!

Are you listening?!

Naaza Erisuis...

Do not meddle in our affairs any more than you already have.

Be sure to use the coupon that I have so graciously given you, puny Miach Mafilia.

It expires at the end of this month!

Ha-ha-ha-ha, and ha!

When someone tells you to stay out of their business, it makes you want to stick your nose right in, doesn't it?

Master Hermes?!

You startled us!

How long have you been there?!

I had a feeling something like this might happen,

so I disguised myself as a bench three days ago, lying in wait!

Well? What now, Miach?

If you wanna investigate the bathhouse, I'll lend you a hand.

You will?

Sure.

Along with... Bell, of course!

Why is it always me...?

Seriously?! You would do that, Bell?!

That would be fantastic!

Isn't that why you brought me here in the first place?!

Okay, but how?

There's no way for unauthorized personnel to slip through the doors...

And that is where these coupons come in.

Wow, this is even better than I imagined.

The quality of the water, the aroma, the color...

It passes the test of a natural hot spring on all counts.

Yeah. It doesn't seem like ordinary water, does it?

But it's just like Naaza says. The ground beneath us houses an empty room in the Dungeon.

A water source simply doesn't exist. There's no evidence that the water is being drawn from elsewhere, either.

Three of 'em, eh?

Excuse me?

I've come up with a plan.

Yup. Tastes good, too.

Y-you drink it?!

Sure. It's got great health benefits, y'know.

Give it a taste, Bell. Experience is the best teacher.

Whaddya think?

It's kind of... salty. And yet, somehow, bittersweet...

Heavenly, isn't it?

Yeah... It's not so bad...

Pardon me, gentlemen! Please refrain from drinking the water!

On that note, the results of our reconnaissance mission:

We were able to confirm that the layout of the bathhouse matches Naaza's blueprints almost to a T.

The pipes through which the water flows are, true to the blueprints, incorporated into the building itself.

In which case...

If he's doing something fishy, it's happening in the boiler room on the top floor.

If we go there, we'll expose his secret?

We have no choice but to go. Besides, Master Hermes and the Little Rookie will be there to back us up.

Yes. I've been having the strangest vision lately.

A woman making a soup stock with an embarrassed look on her face.

Are you sure that's not just a normal dream...?

On second thought, let's call it off.

What?!

But why, Miss Naaza?!

At first, I thought that I should ask for help.

But this is merely a selfish whim of mine.

Revenge for having the plans stolen from us.

The bathhouse is one of the biggest attractions in Orario.

If you sneak into that place and get yourselves caught, there will be serious consequences.

Naaza...

From here on out, I do this alone.

I can't put that kind of burden on you any longer.

Miss Naaza, that's not-

Don't leave your friends behind!

Where the hell were you, Bell?!

I've been searching for you since we left the bathhouse!

Look at me!

I'm practically freezin' my ass off!

What's the matter with you?!

S-sorry!

I dunno what's going on here, but a Familia supports each other.

They're supposed to put the burden on each other!

"Selfish whim" or not, it doesn't make a gods-damned difference!

At the very least, you oughtta trust your friends.

Don't go actin' tough and suffer alone.

Got it?

That settles it, Naaza.

Yup.

And it sounds to me like you've got a couple of new pals on your side.

Are you ready to commence "Operation: Infiltrate Bath God Cecht's Cauldron," Naaza?

Yeah. Thanks, you guys.

I really appreciate your help.

Alright then. Let's review the plan for "Operation: Infiltrate Bath God Cecht's Cauldron."

First, Bell and I will serve as a distraction alongside Welf by creating a commotion in the bath area.

This will send several of the employees inside into a state of confusion.

Without enough people to handle the situation, more staff will begin to emerge from the back.

That's when I, having infiltrated the ground floor, will open the door to the service entrance.

By the time we rush the entrance and rendezvous with Daphne,

security should be lax enough for us to climb the emergency stairs to the fourth floor.

After that, it's a straight shot to the boiler room on the top floor.

Even so, there's the issue of dealing with Dian Cecht and Airmid...

If we each had one of these, it'd be an even bigger piece of cake.

You're askin' too much. Those things are expensive, y'know.

Bell, I apologize for giving you such a dangerous job.

Don't worry about it.

I'll be sure to keep everyone's eyes on me.

Then let us go.

Onwards, to Bath God Cecht's Cauldron!

I can hardly wait!

Uh, Master Hermes... Are you positive that no one will recognize us in these disguises?

Mine doesn't even cover my face...

Relax, relax! Nobody's looking at your face, I promise.

Since all we're doing is raisin' a stink in the men's bath, I guess it doesn't matter whether or not they-

Change of plans: the women's bath.

Huh?!

A bunch of guys running around the men's bath is kinda boring, don'tcha think?

Besides, this ought to be a much more stimulating experience!

The hell is that supposed to mean?!

N-no way, we can't go in there!

C'mon, it's time.

Let's go nuts!

Thank you very much!

Are you alright, ladies?!

That's our cue. Time to move!

R-right!

Master Dian Cecht, we have a problem!

Three men- a tiger, a bull, and a hippie-

are rampaging through the women's bath wearing nothing but underwear!

What on Earth is the meaning of this?!

Trying to damage the reputation of Bath God Cecht's Cauldron, eh?!

I want all available personnel out there now. Seize them immediately!

What's the situation inside?

As planned, it appears they've deserted the majority of the facility.

Looks like Bell and the others were successful.

Out of sight, out of mind!

A-a man?!

L-Lady Hephaistos?!

This is the women's bath! What do you think you're doing?!

She doesn't know it's me.

She doesn't know it's me, but I feel like a total creep gawking at the goddess that I have a crush on!

This is crime, you know. You ought to be ashamed!

But I want to stare!

But if you regret your actions, then you can make amends.

So badly...!

Gah, this is wrong! Knock it off!

Turn yourself over to the authorities and start anew-

Come back here, Mr. Bull! Our conversation isn't over yet!

Dammit, Welf! Why did you agree to do this?!

I don't necessarily mind being chased by beautiful women... but this is a little too much!

Oh crap! It's a dead end!

Damn...

Shoot, he got away!

Phew, what a relief...

I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I appreciate-

H-hiya, Asfi!

This is just, uh... I had an important mission, y'see...

Wait a minute! Violence is never the answer, Asfi!

Asfi!

For cryin' out loud...

Why did we have to get stuck with you guys in the sauna?

Just when I thought we had it all to ourselves, this happens...

Now, now. A little excitement can be a good thing, Lady Hestia.

So what's going on out there?

I can't help but wonder that, myself.

Where is the Peeping Tom?!

Oh, it's Master Ganesha.

Why is he in the women's bath?

A-a gentleman's collarbone...

Hey, Haruhime!

Fear not, for I have arrived!

I am the Lord of the People: Ganesha!

An elephant on the top and bottom...

A big one, at that!

The tiger, the bull, and the hippie are still loose in the bathing area!

When we attempted to capture the elephant, we realized that it was Master Ganesha!

Approximately half of our female patrons have taken shelter in either the dressing rooms or the lounge.

The rest are amused and have elected to remain in place.

Why haven't you apprehended them yet?!

Intruder alert at the back door!

They are currently ascending the emergency stairs!

Rats, at a time like this...?

Hold on.

I have a hunch about who they might be...

I shall exterminate the rats.

Take care of the situation in the women's bath.

The boiler room is above us?

Yes, there should be a staircase up ahead.

Wha-?!

What is this?!

No way...

A dissolving fluid that only melts clothing...?!

Any luck?!

No, nothing over here.

Perhaps we should organize a search of the underbrush...

I-if I get caught, I'm done for!

I can't hide my face... What will everyone say?!

Unbelievable! You're disgusting, Bell.

Mr. Bell, I trusted you...

Master Bell, you make me sick to my stomach.

Your nickname oughtta be the Little Pervert.

Bell... Go to hell.

No, no, no!

I'm kind of used to people in town giving me the cold shoulder,

but to be treated that way by Miss Ais and the others...?

No!

Am I... still in the bathhouse?

Oh, Mr. Bell.

M-Miss Syr?!

H-how did you know it was me?!

What a coincidence, meeting you here.

But this is the women's bath.

N-no, I, um...

This hot spring is awfully popular, isn't it?

I ran into the Sword Princess and her friends.

Oh, that's right. Miss Eina Tulle from the Guild, too.

Y-yeah...?

If it's alright with you, why don't the two of us-

Miss Syr!

Please let the knot on Miss Syr's chest towel hold tight!

It slipped!

I'm so sorry!

Mr. Bell!

Group up and protect Master Miach!

Cassandra!

Daphne!

Cassandra!

Pay us no mind. We'll be fine. Go, quickly!

There's no need to worry about us.

And, um... if at all possible, please avert your eyes!

R-right. My apologies.

I'll bring you a change of clothes later.

It is exactly as I suspected.

Dian...

Trespassing is a very serious crime.

Naaza, leave this to me. Head to the top floor.

B-but...!

I am nothing more than a god with a pretty face.

But at times like these, I shall not sink so low as to chicken out of a fight!

Just because you have a decent-looking face does not mean that I will excuse such an insolent remark!

Hot!

I swallowed a bunch of water...

That was a close one! When I got sucked into those pipes, I thought for sure I was a goner...

Huh?

Bell?

Master Miach! Miss Naaza!

Over here!

Thank goodness!

This seems very deliberate...

This must be the boiler room...

Correct. And now... to expose the secret of his magical water.

Isn't that...?

Impossible...

Miss Airmid...

Huh?

Naaza, Master Miach...

Which means... that the magical water is actually...

...a saintly soup stock...

And I drank it...

You drank it?!

N-no... He promised.

I only did this because he swore that no one would find out...

Don't look! Don't look at me!

I'm begging you... Please don't look at me!

You bumbling idiots!

None of this would have happened if you hadn't decided to meddle in my affairs!

Profiting off of Airmid's used bathwater is a pretty stingy business model, don't you think?

Who said anything about used bathwater?!

Don't you dare call it "used bathwater"!

This is so humiliating...

No one will ever want to marry me now...

Don't say that, Airmid.

Once we rebuild the bathhouse, you can brew more of your special stock to heal everyone. Right?

Not in a million years!

There you are, Bell.

M-Miss Eina...?

They say that you were the one running amok in the women's bath.

I even have eyewitness testimony.

Oh, I, uh... N-no, that's not...!

Would you mind explaining to me exactly what happened?

Because I had to endure the image of a gigantic woolly mammoth trunk being burned into my eyes!

Yogiri ni nureta Babel

Babel is drenched in the evening dew

Nijinda koi no shirabe

A melody of love that seeps through

Awai tomori ni kokoro

Beneath the faint lamplight, our hearts

Kokoro

Our hearts

Yosete

Intertwine

Futari

The two of us

Yume o miru

Share a dream

Otoko to onna wa koyoi mo labyrinth

Tonight, men and women are a labyrinth

Katamichi dake no tabiji na no

A journey with only one way to go

Otoko to onna wa koyoi mo labyrinth

Tonight, men and women are a labyrinth

Kokoro de futari dakiau no

They embrace each other with their hearts

Anata dake aishiteru

You are the only one whom I adore

Orario de koi no hana wa saku

The flowers of love blossom in Orario