Original subtitles

25fps

Last Monday, Prague airport witnessed a joyful event:

Dr. Fidel Castro arrived after a 10-hour flight.

The Cuban premier and General Secretary of the Communist Party

was welcomed by Czechoslovak Party members

and our president, Comrade Gustav Husak.

Dr. Castro delivered a message to our workers from the Cuban people

praising our success in building socialism and fighting for peace.

He stressed the need for love and understanding

between the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic and Cuba,

and the need to teach our socialist youth to fight world imperialism.

Then General Castro departed for Prague Castle, greeted by thousands

who took the opportunity to gather in the streets of the city.

When I was little, my Dad and I used to kill politicians.

We'd wave to them as they drove past on the way from the airport.

But as they came closer we'd shoot them.

I took it seriously.

Dad said if we shot all of them everything would turn out fine.

Produced by

Co-produced by

Supported by

A film by Petr Zelenka and his friends

Starring

WRONG SIDE UP

Hold up!

- This one's not here. - What'll we do with it?

Take it off.

- Is it part of the Italian shipment? - No.

- Those bar codes aren't much help. - Exactly.

Let's take a look at it.

Back in '83 we found a guy inside one of these. Alive.

He wanted to join his girlfriend in West Germany.

He'd have died if we hadn't found him.

- Why? - If you load him upside down he gets hyperemia of the brain.

But he'd also freeze to death.

- Know how cold it is up there? - No. - Incredibly cold.

Ever spent hours packed motionless in a crate like that?

- No. - It ain't no joke.

- So what happened to him? - Like I said, we saved him.

Then the police came for him and...

- There is another guaranteed way to win a woman back. - What?

Cut some of her hair and boil it in milk.

Then dry it and burn it with apple leaves.

Then scatter the ashes at the place you first met.

- Sounds like mumbo jumbo. - Yeah, but that's the recipe.

- You ever cut a woman's hair? - You have to be inconspicuous.

When she turns her back or is asleep.

A symbolic amount is enough.

Shouldn't I just buy herflowers?

- How long were you together? - Two years.

You better try the hair.

Hi, Jana. I don't want to bother you but...

- Hey! - Hi.

- Come on in. - No, I just... - Jana will be happy to see you.

I'm not so sure. I just brought herthis video...

- Like a drink? - No thanks. I'm driving. - Oh, come on!

This is Petr. Michal, Ivana, Blanka...

Jarda, Vojta... this is Petr. He lived with Jana before I did.

Lukas, Veronika. This is Petr Hanek.

- He's a navigator at the airport. - Not any more...

Hey, everyone... this is Petr Hanek.

He works in the airport control tower.

Hi.

...I answered it and guess who it was? Jana!

She'd dialed wrong, but we got to talking and she invited me over.

And we made love that very night...

- Hi, Jana. - What are you doing?

I wanted to comb my hair... but the brush is too full.

Alex invited me in.

- Fine, but just promise not to drink. - Alex told me I should.

- Okay, but at least no games. - What games?

- Okay? - Sure.

Shrike, shrike shrike, shrike. Shrike, shrike: Penguin, penguin...

- Penguin, penguin pig, pig... - Pig, pig: Cow, cow...

Saying "cow, cow" doesn't make me a cow.

What are you looking at?

He works here. What else can he do?

- You're all the same idiots. - And you're so unique!

Hi, Jana! I was just thinking about you.

Petr, how could you do something like that?

- Like what? - The kids saw you.

- What kids? - Auntie's kids.

- Whose aunt's kids? - Alex's aunt's kids.

They saw you go into her room and cut off her hair.

- Petr? - I'd never do that.

She's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I've been feeling down lately too...

That's got nothing to do with it!

She wants to sue you. You really screwed up this time.

You'd better come straighten things out.

I'm such an idiot!

Mom?

- Hi, Petr. Are you busy? - Hi. I'm on the tarmac.

- Where? - The tarmac. I'm working.

- I'm calling about dad. - What's wrong?

- You should come say goodbye. - Is he going somewhere?

- Yourfather is dying. - What? Mom!

It's me, mom.

What's going on?

- Hi. - Hi.

Petr came to say goodbye.

- Are you going somewhere? - No. - I told him you were dying.

- Are you dying? - No.

- Why did you say that, mom? - What do you think a dying man looks like?

Not like that!

His brain is dying. He doesn't care about anything.

Not about the situation in Bosnia, not about the earthquake in Georgia.

All he cares about are his beer bubbles.

But otherwise he's perfectly normal.

- So I'm the bad one, eh? - Yeah...

This is the kind of effort it takes to get this family together.

- But you scared me to death! - You'd never visit us otherwise.

- Yes, I would. - No, you wouldn't. - Fine, I wouldn't. - Right!

I used to think he had Alzheimer's

but now I know it's senile dementia. I can tell by his pupils.

- She shines a flashlight in my eyes! - That's right, I do...

Senile dementia runs in yourfamily. His father had it, too.

Remember how your grandpa used to make funny faces at you?

- No. - He was just kidding around. - Oh, yeah, kidding...

One day they found him running down the street in his underwear. Bow!

I can't even startle yourfather.

Not even when I jump out from behind a door...

I've tried it twice today already and nothing.

It's one of the symptoms of senile dementia.

And to think he used to be famous all over the country.

Bow! See? He wants to be startled but he just can't swing it.

You're not saying 'boo.' You're barking at him.

- What should I say? - Say boo!

Bow!

Not 'bow.' It's 'boo'! You sound like a dog.

- Boo! - Bow, wow...

- I have to go. - You don't like being here?

- I do. - Then stay.

- So, do you like it here or not? - Maybe not.

Exactly! You're 33 and you're going to end up just like your father.

He's so bad off he won't even dial me a phone number.

- A random number. - Any number!

- Why a random number? - Your mom thinks people will recognize my voice.

I bet him that if he dialed a totally random number

the person answering would recognize his voice from the old newsreels.

He had the voice of the age, heard at the movies everywhere.

- They'd think it was some pervert. - Stop making excuses.

- You can't be serious. - I think people will remember you.

- Then will you stop bugging me? - Sure. You and your bubbles.

Martin, is that you? Jerry's been run over!

- Jerry? - Our dog.

I was hoping you'd call. How could you just leave?

It's terrible with you gone. I'm so glad you called.

- Where are you? - At some apartment. - Do they recognize your voice?

- You're at her place... - Whose place? - That woman's.

Your voice always sounds funny when you call from there.

- Please come over. - I can't right now. - Can't what?

- You know I love you. - Yes. - Yes?!

- I really mean it. - Yeah. - Yeah what? Say something!

I've been feeling bad lately. I'm gonna swallow some pills.

- Don't... - Don't what?

- Say something nice. - What should I say?

- Tell me you love me. - Use that nice, deep voice of yours.

Say you love me, even if it isn't true. I need to hear it!

Just say one coherent sentence!

Alright... I love you.

- I love you too. - I have to go...

Bye.

See? That's your dad in a nutshell.

- Hi, Jana. - Hi. - I brought you these.

Thank you.

You went too far this time.

I apologize. Really, I'm sorry.

I was drunk and...

Shouldn't I be apologizing to Alex's aunt?

She's locked herself in her room and refuses to speak.

- What about the girls? - Alex had to take them away.

- What happened? - They couldn't stop laughing.

I brought the hair with me...

Maybe we could kind of implant it back on.

- Is that supposed to be funny? - Or I could get her a wig.

She's allergic to synthetic fibers.

You'll have to have a special wig made, and it'll cost you.

Fine.

- She also wants a public apology. - How public?

A notice in the newspapers.

- That'll cost you, too. - Fine.

Petr, I've been watching you for a long time now.

- And? - You should realize your jokes aren't funny any longer.

- But they're not jokes. - Then what are they?

- I'm doing it all to get you back. - Don't start!

Alex is obviously just a temporary replacement.

- He is not temporary! - What is he then?

We're getting married.

Taking a break or what?

This is all because I cut someone's hair?

Why shouldn't I marry someone I love and enjoy being with?

He's too dull for you. You need someone inspiring.

- Like you? - Yeah.

- You once left me at a gas station! - I was preoccupied.

We've already been through this. I came to apologize...

- But you didn't come back! - So it's all over.

It's been over for six months. And give me back my keys.

- Don't hold your breath about the wig. - Oh, but I will!

Go ahead.

- Hi. - Good evening.

I heard a noise. Are you alright?

- My comforter came to life. - Comforter? - It's okay now.

Where is it?

- There. - Where? - Around the corner.

That's it?

- Do you live with someone? - Not really.

- I'm Alice. - I'm Petr.

From next door. We moved in on the 16th.

- You don't look so good. - This is how I always look.

- Maybe you need a drink. - An excellent idea.

- Like one too? - Sure.

- Your place is just like ours. - Really?

- Jiri isn't doing so great either. - Jiri?

The man I live with.

He's a musician and composer. He's got a problem with elevators.

Elevators?

He's suing hotels all overthe country.

They've been playing his music in their elevators for years,

- but he has yet to be paid a cent. - Right...

So he's suing them.

- Alice! - In here! I'm having a drink.

- What was all that racket? - His comforter came to life.

Oh, come on!

These things happen... when you live alone.

- Petr, this is Jiri. - Hi.

- How about a beer? - Sure.

Alice, will you grab some beers?

Did Alice tell you about...

She mentioned hotels and elevators.

In a word, my problem is copyright.

It's the main reason the world is glutted

with the garbage we call intellectual property.

Any moron calling himself an artist can rake it in because of copyright.

So they just keep creating crap.

- Do you create? - No. - Good.

Though maybe you could. You have the right eyes.

- Contact lenses? - No. - Good.

- Did you tell him? - I told him about the hotels.

So did I.

See how complicated the hotel situation is?

And on top of that I found myself a real pussycat

who wants someone to watch when we do it. What do you think?

I don't know exactly.

We tried sleeping together alone, but it was hopeless.

We've tried everything.

We thought kitty-cat here might be a lesbian,

...which wouldn't be so bad. - Yeah, and?

- She isn't. - I'm not.

I bet you think it's easy finding someone to watch. But it ain't.

You ever noticed people's eyes? Completely glazed over.

They could even be crazy. Crazy eyes are acceptable.

But everyone's eyes here are glazed over.

We need someone with their eyes wide open. Like you.

He does have lovely eyes.

- Hi Jana! - Hi.

I feel sad that we fought.

- Sorry, is there someone there? - No, it's okay.

- I heard voices. - Just some cats.

What?

Petr?

- Jiri, that bastard isn't watching! - Jana, I gotta go.

- Thanks. - Hey, all I did was watch.

It's not easy finding someone to watch.

Alice!

If you ever feel lonely again just give another knock.

Alice!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Need a lift? - No, I'm just...

Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something...

Do telephones remember the last number you dialed?

That depends on the phone.

Let's say it's similar to the one we've got at home.

- How similar? - Very similar.

You mean it's the same?

Well... yeah.

Your phone does store the last number. Why do you ask?

You know me, I'm not the technical type.

Is there a way to redial the number?

There's a button on the phone marked R.

Just press it and the number is redialed.

- This R? - Exactly.

I'm glad I brought it with me.

I brought you a wig.

What wig?

This is just a test wig to see how big your head is.

- And after we find out? - Then I'll have a special wig made.

A wig isn't the problem.

My self-confidence has been damaged.

I'm really sorry about that.

There's an art opening next week. Would you accompany me?

Well, those are nice things... those art openings...

- What can I get you? - Some coffee.

- Anything else? - Mattoni.

Hello, my name's Hanek. We talked once...

- Are you from the insurance company? - No. You thought I was someone else.

You thought I was Martin. But it was me, David Hanek.

So why are you calling?

I just wanted to make sure you were alright.

- You talked about swallowing pills. - Pills? Really?

What was that noise? Am I interrupting something?

I was just wetting some clay.

- Oh... I'd better be going. - Hold on... Did I cry?

Not really. What about the dog?

- What dog? - Jerry. - What about him?

- I thought he got run over. - I told you that?

I made it up.

Sorry I lied, but I wanted to make that bastard feel sorry.

- It sure made me feel sorry. - It did? That's too bad.

It's okay. I liked feeling sorry.

Excuse me, you can't use the phone.

It's nice you felt so sorry.

I have to go. I'm glad you and Jerry are okay.

Wait! Would you like to come by sometime?

I'm almost done...

I could sculpt a clay bust of you.

We could call it...

'Stranger Calling a Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.'

...15 U Cisticky Street. - Sorry, but goodbye.

Put that phone back.

- The phone! - It's my phone.

- She'll be another 20 minutes. - I'll go have a smoke.

Downstairs. In the lobby.

- Hi. - Hi.

- What are you doing here? - I brought you something.

Oh, there it is. Thanks.

- You work here now? - Yeah.

I'm training on this ESE 20:

24 volts, 8 mph, 2000 kilo load.

- Impressive, huh? - How far can it go?

- I've got no idea. Like some coffee? - Yeah.

- I thought maybe I could rent your apartment. - Why?

You won't need it after you marry Alex.

- You've already got a place. - But weird things happen there.

Last week my comforter came to life.

You don't have enough money.

I do I'm moonlighting a bit.

- With the forklift? - The forklift is my regular job.

The extra is from my neighbors.

- What do you mean? - It's not important.

You clean for them?

No... The man is a musician.

He's a nice guy.

The woman he lives with...

...needs someone to watch when they make love.

And where do you come in?

I do the watching.

- And they pay you? - Yeah.

- No one would pay you just to watch. - Hey, it's a job like any other.

- You watch two strangers having sex... - Yeah.

...and they pay you for it? You call that a normal job?

Not entirely, maybe, but basically yes.

- That's pretty weird. - But it's true.

- I have something to tell you too. - I'm not sure I want to hear it.

Just listen it's pretty interesting.

Sit down.

After we broke up I was really a mess.

In fact I kind of flipped. I started doing weird things.

- You rememberthat phone booth by my place? - Yes.

I wrote down the number, then I'd wait by the window.

When a guy walked past who looked decent I called the number.

Decent? Some suit with a briefcase?

It doesn't matter. What matters is that they answered it.

Right.

- You would have too. - Of course. What then?

I pretended I'd got a wrong number, which they all found very romantic.

We'd chat for a while, then I'd ask them up for coffee.

And then I slept with them.

How many were there?

I don't know... Twenty.

What kind of time frame are we talking about here?

A short one.

I bet... Jana, it's obvious you made the whole thing up.

Do you seriously expect me to believe you slept with 20 guys?

That'd make you a slut.

- What about Alex? - Alex was one of them.

And that's why you want to marry him? Or do you have to?

- No. - Then don't.

Got a better idea?

Not anymore.

I thought not.

Nice, huh?

Like the sea.

Yeah, it is.

Come. I want to show you something.

- Have a look. - What is it?

I've had time lately to think about life.

So I wrote down a list of all the stuff my wife has thrown at me.

- It's a pretty long list. - We've been together 23 years.

- A ping-pong table? - Yeah, that was in Bulgaria.

It hit my pinky. Man, that hurt!

Women aren't our rivals. They're ourteammates.

It's the game that's so tough.

Damn straight.

I've been meaning to ask you... What would look good on her?

People here have such bad taste but you seem different.

- I don't know you so well, but I think I can trust you. - Of course.

Nice stuff. How about that sweater?

It's not a sweater. It's a skirt.

I bought it for my wife in '83. She hasn't worn it since.

- Your wife? - Yeah, my wife.

Well... what do you think?

Pretty.

- This is Eva. - Hi.

Was it Einstein or Baekeland who said plastics were the future?

- What would look good on her? - I don't know...

It depends how daring Eva is.

I think she's very daring.

If so, then maybe this...

and the bra...

Man, I'm hopeless at this.

I'm completely hopeless.

- Your beer'll get warm if you hold it. - I like holding it.

It fascinates me how the cold air in the bottle expands as it warms up

and pushes out the bubbles.

- You just figured that out? - I've been practicing it for 30 years.

- What else do you do? - Nothing. That bugs my wife.

I mean your job. What did you do?

- Nothing to brag about. - Go on, brag.

I did voiceovers for weekly newsreels. Mainly in the seventies.

Really? Do you remember any of them?

It was just the usual communist nonsense.

"The new combines are all set for another record harvest." You know.

- No, I don't. Tell me more. - It's embarrassing.

I never liked people associating my voice with the news of those days.

- You've got a beautiful voice. - Thank you.

You have nice eyes, too. Kind of wild.

That's just Alzheimer's. My wife discovered it.

It's true.

I can't even be startled anymore.

My wife tries to startle me, but it doesn't work.

What does she do?

Sometimes she slams herfist down all of a sudden. Or she says 'boo! '

But it has no effect... because of the illness.

- Do you live with someone? - No. Those are Martin's clothes.

I thought if I wore his clothes I could get inside his head.

- What did you find out? - That he didn't love me.

- And this? - It's mine.

It's pretty.

- Do you skydive? - I did with Martin.

- I'd be too afraid. - It's no big deal. You'd like it.

- What's this? - An old project: "The Lovers."

Boo!

See? I startled you.

- Yeah, you did. - When can you come again?

You have to come regularly now that we've started.

Will it be another of your "projects"?

No. It'll be just you:

"Stranger Calling a Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown."

- 15 U Cisticky Street.

- 15 U Cisticky Street.

You asked how far it could go. It can make it all the way to you.

You're crazy.

Maybe it shouldn't have gone this far.

Sometimes I think strange things happen around me.

Me too.

Maybe if we were together strange things wouldn't happen around us.

It's not around us. It's inside us.

When we were together the world seemed full of psychos.

- It's just bad luck: I'm a freak magnet. - It's not bad luck.

You attract those people because you're like that inside.

Sorry.

Leave her alone! Put her down this instant!

What's she got on? My skirt!

I only borrowed it, as a joke.

If there's anything between you and this plastic bitch, we're finished!

- Finished! - Don't throw her!

I talked to the nurse at the blood bank about you.

- I explained your situation. - I don't have a situation.

Oh, but you do, my darling.

One hell of a situation! Here, take this box.

- 33 years old and doesn't know how to shop. - Why are you telling him?

- Even his girlfriend left him. - Kindly stop bothering the waiter.

You'll end up just like yourfather. Know what he's doing?

Having a clay bust of himself made. Like Golem.

- Where are you going? - Home. - I give yourfather a month tops.

At least take these clippings!

Read about the horrors happening in the world!

PICKLES FOR BOSNIA

- Anything wrong? - I ran out of booze, so I helped myself.

- We were in court today. - Did you win?

That depends. I certainly did.

Ask Mr. Winner about his victory.

He stood up and sprayed the entire court with soda water.

All those people in fancy clothes:

The judge and all the court officials...

He stood up and pulled out a siphon bottle.

- Kitty was hoping I'd win. - I did expect him to put up a fight.

- That's just what I did! - You should've had a lawyer.

You should've prepared your case and left the squirt gun at home.

- I nearly died of embarrassment. - You were embarrassed of me?

- Yes, today you embarrassed me. - Me? - Yes, you!

I've sacrificed my nakedness on the altar of our relationship.

Not much of an offering.

My sex life is an independent entity orbiting around me like a satellite.

- Some satellite! - Hey, this is serious.

My girlfriend should never be ashamed of me!

I remember when women weren't ashamed of their men.

- Memory lane... - We might have been losers

but our women stood by us like lighthouses.

That was the beauty of communism. But it's over now.

- You're right, it's over. - That's why kitty-cat is leaving me.

Which means it's over for you too.

I'm sorry. You were such a nice couple.

We were.

Say hi to your dad. He's a good guy.

You know my dad?

He stopped by. You weren't home... and kitty had the urge.

You know the rest.

General Secretary of the Communist Party Gustav Husak

is on a two-day visit to northern Moravia. He arrived in Ostrava

accompanied by Secretary Kempny and Prime Minister Korcak.

Yesterday, the comrades visited the Technoplast factory near Kromeriz,

and took part in the gala start-up of a new plant

to produce Barex synthetic leather.

There they witnessed a joyous event:

Workers finished the millionth square meter of leatherette.

That was beautiful. When was it?

July 15, 1973.

You rememberthe exact date?

They somehow stick in my mind.

- You should recite them at parties. - I don't know about that.

I mean it.

- They're kind of like poems. - You think so?

People are nostalgic forthose days.

There's a gentleness about them... or something like that.

Maybe it's in you.

Inside you, David...

This will be an incredible jump.

It's beautiful.

Just beautiful.

Did you know that nothing that happens in the air counts?

Counts how?

In life.

I didn't know that.

That's why so many people fly.

Really.

Guess what? They refused to take my blood.

After 20 years this nurse says: "Sorry, Mrs. Hanek,

your blood no longer meets donation criteria."

So I ask her if she knows anything about Bosnia.

Is she so sure they don't need my blood there?

- You'd take my blood, right? - Me? Why?

Don't worry, I'm just joking. I'm not crazy.

- See what I'm wearing? - Dad's clothes.

Exactly.

- You think I'm bonkers and just put them on by mistake. - Yep.

No. I did it on purpose.

If you wear someone else's clothes you can get inside their head.

- Did you know that? - No. - Now you do. - Thanks.

- You think I've flipped, eh? - I think nothing.

Well, you're not exactly normal either.

You surround yourself with boxes, your comforter comes to life.

It all points to one thing: You're at a crossroads.

- So I'm at a crossroads! - A major crossroads.

Who isn't at a turning point? Look at you!

You don't even know which way's up. You're 33 and don't have a partner.

You don't know what to think, don't know what to believe.

- I drink... - Yes, you drink.

People use you. You're like a sponge that soaks everything up.

A sponge who refuses to take his elderly mother's blood

when his dear old mother asks him.

- And all these boxes are a sign too. - You're the one who gave them to me.

- I could never pack so many boxes. - But you did.

- Fine, maybe some. But the rest? - What rest?!

- You must have packed them yourself, my darling. - Mom!

- Why didn't you send them on? - Because I'm waiting.

- What for? - I guess for more boxes!

Because I'm a sponge, I drink, and I'm too weak to send them on.

Because I don't have a girlfriend to help me,

or a motherto advise me how to send them, or where to send them!

No. You didn't send them because you don't love me.

- No, I don't. - That's right, you don't. - I don't.

Of course, I love you... I do.

If you love me then take my blood. I've got all the stuff here.

I can't take your blood. I've never done it before!

We won't tell anyone. It'll be our secret.

- Don't sit there! - We'll hide it away till we need it.

But no one needs your blood. They told you loud and clear:

Not your blood, nor your advice.

- Do you know nothing about Bosnia? - Bosnia? - That's where they need it.

- No one will send your blood there! - We will.

- How? - I don't know.

Charter a plane for your precious half pint? Take it by car?

- Just do it. - You really have the kit with you?

Yes, everything.

Your hand's shaking. You need a drink.

That's a sign of Parkinson's. Do you have Parkinson's?

Good evening. This wonderful man in the bubble is my boyfriend...

I mean my good friend. Let me introduce him.

Back in the 1970s he narrated weekly newsreels.

And he still remembers every single one. David Hanek.

General Secretary of the Communist Party Gustav Husak

is on a two-day visit to northern Moravia. He arrived in Ostrava

accompanied by Secretary Kempny and Prime Minister Korcak.

Yesterday, the comrades visited the Technoplast factory near Kromeriz,

and took part in the gala start-up of a new plant

to produce Barex synthetic leather.

There they witnessed a joyous event:

Workers finished the millionth square meter of leatherette.

This is Sylvie. This is Petr...

- If there's anything you'd like to talk about... - Sure.

And if you need anything...

- You watch your neighbors for money? - They forced me.

- Didn't they pay you? - Why do you take it? - I live off it.

- You go there so often? - It's over anyhow.

- And what about your date? - And what about your newsreels?

- Sylvie asked me to. - Do you sleep with her? She's 30 years younger.

- It's platonic. - What are your intentions?

- She's doing a bust of me. - It isn't normal!

Maybe.

It's our business how we choose to live. Not that we have much choice.

- But we shouldn't become strangers. - Sure.

Bye.

Bye.

- Hanek. - It's me.

Where are you?

Let's go.

Where?

To my place.

Really?

Jana and Alex are at a performance.

Close the door.

You can relax. The girls are with my ex-husband.

- They're not here? - No, they're not.

Don't shuffle your feet.

Have a seat.

What do you think of me?

I don't know exactly.

What do you think of my legs?

Nice.

I think so too.

- My husband thought they were too thin. - They look fine to me.

- I guess I got lucky with my legs. - You did.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Yeah...

Okay?

Sure.

I wouldn't be able to improvise the whole evening.

It wasn't improvisation at all. It was set up beforehand.

- It wasn't. - You're so naive.

Look at the program if you don't believe me.

I'm going to bed.

- Alex, I have something to tell you. - Tell me tomorrow.

I'll tell you now. Come sit down.

Remember how we met? That coincidence with the phone booth?

Yes... It was fate.

- It wasn't fate at all. - No?

Alex, I called the phone booth on purpose.

What do you mean?

I found out the number, then I used to wait by the window.

When some nerd came along I'd call the phone booth.

- Are you serious? - Yes.

We'd chat for a bit, then some of them came upstairs.

I drank a bottle of wine... Then I did it again the next day.

Why are you telling me this?

I did it because of Petr.

Get me the blue oil from the downstairs bathroom.

Blue oil from the downstairs bathroom...

- Underthe mirror! - Okay, under the mirror.

What's so special about him?

His hands, his eyes. He makes things come alive.

- He's an idiot. - Don't say that!

When I'm with him, even walking down the street is somehow special.

- He works in a warehouse! - Yeah, but it doesn't matter in his case.

- Loser! - Watch your mouth! He's open, playful...

He drives around on some idiotic forklift. We even laughed about it.

But that's just what makes him so wonderful.

Then why aren't you with him if he's so wonderful?

Because I thought I couldn't be.

Now you're not sure?

Did anyone else believe the phone booth was a coincidence?

Just me.

Hello?

- Hi Jana. - Hi.

- Jana, is this the phone booth? - I just wanted to hear your voice.

- That's nice of you. - Is it?

- What are you doing? - I was at a dance performance.

- Which one? - Is this the booth? - Yeah.

- Something wrong? - No. - Jana, is it or not?

Your voice sounds funny.

Alex and I just fought.

Really? I'm sorry.

- Really? - Well, not that sorry.

I am, a little.

Are you at home?

- Are you in the bath? - Well... - Where's the oil?

- Is someone there? - No.

I heard a voice.

- It was the teapot. - It sounded like a woman.

That's just the stereo...

I love you. I don't care if someone's there.

I love you too. I'm alone.

Jana... I'm losing you. I have to go.

Well... Bye...

How was the performance?

Thanks a lot, auntie!

So now you're sleeping with Alex's aunt?

Just helping her get back her self-confidence.

Well, she found the right guy.

- Nice legs. - Yeah, they are.

- Did you know she was a model? - No.

How about your parents? Your mom still giving blood?

- Yep. - And your Dad?

He started reciting his newsreels again.

- Really? - Yeah. At parties.

I remember him coaxing bubbles out of his beer.

I used to say: If he gets at least two out, everything will be fine.

- You should've made it three. - Maybe.

Don't take it seriously, what I said about you to Alex.

Sure, I understand.

- What now? - I'm going back.

Right...

Martin, you were once the handsomest of boys,

forfar and wide or even farther.

Mornings, you'd dip your hands in water,

in water and a little soap.

Leaning on the doorframe, never saying hi,

you'd strap on your wings it's painless to fly

and seek salvation, salvation in the briers.

The rosehips called: "We prick you, Icarus."

Then you hung by a thread.

One wrong move and you'd end up like me

in a sleepy dive over a glass of rosehip tea.

So goes the world, Martin... Icarus.

You're awake?

What happened, David? I almost called the police.

- It's the sculpture... - It's 4:30 AM.

Well... The bust Sylvie's doing of me...

It's more than just my head... It's more complicated.

What else is she working on? Are you sleeping together?

- You've never lied to me before, have you? - No.

From a moral point of view it's appalling and unforgivable.

- Let alone the position it puts me in. - Yeah...

But medically it's had a positive effect.

Your mind's gotten much sharper since you started lying.

- Really? - Definitely.

Your eyes have lost that gray apathetic film they used to have.

And I'm grateful to Sylvie for that.

But personally I think you're a lousy shit.

You don't have to come if you don't want to.

But we came together.

Yeah, but you said what happens in the air doesn't count.

It doesn't, but what happens in bed does.

Aha.

Aha what? Should I go with you or not?

- Depends on you. - What depends on me?

I thought you were old enough to know what you wanted.

Sorry.

Boo!

You didn't get startled.

- Hello? - David, it's me! Are you busy?

- Hi. - Hi. - I'm in the air.

I can't hear you. What's that funny noise?

- It's air. - Where?

- The wind. - Are you driving?

Shut the window so you don't catch cold.

Okay, but I have to go.

I just called to say I'm sorry for calling you a shit.

Bye.

May I help you? Please, ma'am, just leave.

I haven't paid for my coffee.

It's on the house. Just kindly leave.

Ma'am, your coat...

Ukraine... the ceasefire is fragile.

India... an earthquake.

- What about Tajikistan? - They're fighting.

- What about Sylvie? - It's over.

- She started saying "boo." - You're kidding?

Your life is pretty complicated.

You don't have it easy either.

Sorry about what happened. I just couldn't control it.

I wanted to say I think we have a good relationship.

What happened to you can't change that.

We do have a good relationship.

I love you.

You don't have to say that if it isn't true.

It is true.

It's our business how we choose to live. Not that we have much choice.

But we shouldn't become strangers.

You could rent my place now if you still want to.

- I'm broke. - It doesn't matter...

As long as you don't mind me living there too.

- Okay. - Yeah? - Sure.

At five o'clock then? But at my place, not yours.

Sure.

Don't end up somewhere else, or let anything get in the way.

Don't worry.

Just a sec.

Bye, Eva.

Bye.

Bye...

Remember that guy I told you about

who tried to ship himself to West Germany?

Well, that guy... was me.

Really?

It was because of a woman. But my wife turned me in.

- What? - She saved my life. I'll never forget it.

That's nice.

Speaking of Germany... I need something similar.

- To Zizkov. - Zizkov, eh?

- What number on Pripotocni Street? - Pribenicka Street! Number 12.

- I know. Just messing with you. - I hope so.

- Hey... Nice, huh? - Yeah.

Okay.

Do you have a bed pan in case we hit traffic?

Don't worry, we know a shortcut.

- Afternoon... - Hi.

- Special delivery. - Aha.

- Where should we put it? - I don't know... There.

- Open it quick. - So it doesn't go bad on you.

You're completely nuts!

What if I just leave you in there?

Hello?

- This one's not here. - Just let it go...

Subtitled by John Brent