Original subtitles

And that green one's for you, whether you like it or not.

I don't like that.

- Do I need these? - No.

Come on. Come on.

Why are you so scared?

Well, my parents don't know I dropped out of law school,

and I'm living with a man they've never met before. And...

We're adults about to get married and start our life together.

Can't we just do that and not tell my dad?

yeah.

I promise you, your parents are gonna love me.

I'm sorry, baby, but you blew that chance when you had sex with me.

Is that you? I think it's you.

It's mine.

- Hi, Daddy. - Hey, Pop.

This is your man Brad Boyd, Hot 93.7 KZL y.

Don't forget the card, fellas.

Didn't matter if I had my chocolates in one hand, my champagne in the other.

If I didn't come with that Hallmark attached,

my ex-wife just flipped.

I never got that. I guess that's why she's my ex.

- Hey. Miguel.

- What? - you cannot be this clueless.

What, Sonia?

Sonia?

Honey?

Brad Boyd, Brad Boyd, B- squared on the radio,

spending time with you on The Love Hour.

Now Cupid's arrows are pointing right at you,

playing music to hit your heartstrings.

Ow! Just hit you in the heart.

Happy Valentine's Day, people.

Oh, shit!

So what are you doing tonight, Los Angeles?

Are you with the one you love, or are you loving the one you're with?

What am I doing tonight?

I'm gonna let some trouble find me.

I'm gonna be out at The Spot signing autographs.

All you ladies out there looking for a valentine,

Brad Boyd will be in the house.

Hi.

I'm Sienna.

- Brad Boyd. - I know.

your voice is in my ear every night.

yeah, don't forget Brad Boyd is in the building, y'all. Check him out.

Wow.

Babe, did you get that flower I got for you last night?

Is...

I'm just gonna get some food on the way to work.

Baby, can you help me?

Watch it. I got it, baby. Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, what is that smell? Is that you or is that me?

- you, since Colorado. - Shut up.

you know, if we would've got on a flight, we would have been here

- three days earlier. - I don't wanna hear it!

- People die on planes! People die on trains!

- They derail! - How about this?

How about we invite your dad and my parents to a restaurant tonight?

And then we can tell them all at the same time, in a public place.

How about we stick to the plan, do dinner at my dad's house tonight

and brunch at your parents' tomorrow?

Okay. All right, that's the plan. It's a good plan.

We can stick to the plan.

And after I rent a car, we could get a hotel and burn some time.

Hello? - Hi, Daddy!

- Hey, sweetie, what are you doing? - I'm on a train to LA right now.

- No, you're not. - What a surprise!

I didn't think I was gonna get to see you till spring break.

I was thinking we could maybe... We could go to a restaurant tonight?

That's not the plan!

- Okay. See you. - Okay, I'll text you the address.

- All right. I love you, Daddy. Bye. - Bye, angel.

Hey, your sister's coming to dinner tonight.

I know. She called me, like, a couple of days ago.

Dad, not at work.

Why am I always the last person to find things out in this family?

Manny called in sick, says he has shingles,

so I'm delivering the Bugatti to Mr. Endicott.

We have a bunch of tow calls from LAPD, so... I don't know what you wanna do.

Tell Jesse or Ramon.

They called in sick, too. Gout and scurvy.

Let me guess. This is about the health coverage.

That's it. Give me the keys to the other truck. I'll tow the cars myself.

All right. you know you don't pedal with your feet anymore, right?

Times have changed.

And you have always been my favorite son.

Shut up.

Hey! Whoa!

Oh, yeah, cool. Cool.

you know what? I could bring this girl...

No, there's this other one I'm gonna bring...

Hey, hey, hey! Hey, stop, stop! That's my car! That's my car!

you know what? Just text me the address, all right?

Hey, man. I'm here. This is mine.

- I'm sorry, my man, but it's on the hook. - No, no, no, look.

Look, it's not hooked up yet. Look, you haven't hooked it yet.

yeah, it's...

- What? We cool, right? - yeah, we're fine.

- All right, great. We're good. - Okay.

Ah!

yes!

Ah- ha!

- It's on the hook, like I said. - No, no, it wasn't.

It wasn't on the hook. I got here before you had it on the hook.

you're gonna have to come claim your car.

What, you think I would trust this ride with somebody like you?

Excuse me?

- What, you don't speak English now? - We're speaking English, bro.

- I'm not your "bro," ese. - And I'm not your '"ese, '"cuz.

I'm not your "cuz," vato.

- Bye. - Cool. you see this?

you see it right now? I got my hand on the doorknob.

you want to call a policeman? Police! Police!

I got my hand on the doorknob.

you can't tow me if I got my hand on the doorknob.

- you know the law, right? - Here's where you get it.

- Hey, everybody! Can anybody see here? - I'm towing the car.

I got my hand on the doorknob, and he's trying to tow my car away!

- Bye-bye. - She saw! She saw it!

- Hey! - Bye!

No, no! Hey! This is my automobile!

- Hey! Hey! you see me? Look! Look! - Bye!

Stop! I'm here!

Hey! you see me? I know you see...

Hey. you see my hand on the knob, right? you'll testify, right?

Hey! Hey!

This is my car!

Hey. Thanks.

I knew I could depend on you.

Mmm-mmm.

- Come on. - Get in the back.

- Come on, Angie. - No.

- Angie. - you're on punishment.

Fine. Fine, you want to be my chauffeur? No problem. Okay.

Come on, James. I rarely get out, all right?

And when I do, it's for these radio events.

And the women there are young.

Okay? I said they're young, and they love my voice.

As your lawyer, I suggest you curb this habit

before you wake up on the wrong side of some pissed-off daddy's shotgun.

I'm human, Angie. What you want me to do?

- you should let me set you up. - Uh-uh. No more veterans.

And what is a veteran?

- you know. - No, I don't.

Bitter, older women who've been messed over by so many men

that they're twisted up like war vets.

They wake up in the middle of the night screaming,

trying to choke you in your sleep.

They get their little tweezers out and they're stabbing you in the heart, going...

"you know you did it. you know you did it. "

Slow down.

you already hooked me up with the unmentionable.

- I don't wanna say her name, so... - Oh, no.

- you begged me to hook you up with... - Hey.

- Don't... - If it wasn't for me...

- you know we got a rule. ... setting you up with...

- Do not say that name. ... Cheryl.

Oh!

Man, I know.

I'm working on it, I'm working on it.

If it wasn't for Cheryl, you wouldn't have Marcus, and he turned out wonderful.

And that's a surprise, seeing he was raised by your crazy butt.

Luckily, he had me around to watch his back.

What would you do if you didn't have me here to rescue you, huh?

you'd be standing on the side of the road.

All true. See,

this way, you're the only woman I need in my life.

- Oh, God. - Thanks, babe.

- See you later. - Bye.

- Okay. How do I look? - you look fine.

Hey, you know those cufflinks you made me, the ones with the little fishes?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you know where they are?

- Hey, I looked in there. - Of course you did.

I can't wait for you to see the car for Lucia's graduation gift.

It's the best work I've ever done.

Hey. Reservation for Boyd.

- Just a moment. - Okay, thanks.

So, we're gonna tell them everything, right?

- Babe? - yes.

Good. Now, show the twins a little bit. Come on.

All right, that's gross.

- Hi, Izzy. - Hi.

I'm hungry.

Iz, this is Marcus. Marcus, this is my sister, Isabel.

- Hey. - you look better than your picture.

- I like your face. - Thanks, and you...

And your fingernails are nice and manicured. It's nice.

- Okay, enough. - Cute.

Can you give us one real quick, just a minute?

yeah.

What? - Have you told Dad about him yet?

- No, that's why we're here. - This is gonna be so good.

- Mom! Hi! - Oh, my God! Look at you!

- Mi hija, you are so grown up! No, she's not!

I missed you so much. you look great, sweetheart.

Excuse me, sir, we're having a family moment here...

Dad. Mom. This is Marcus.

Hey.

Oh. Oh!

Oh, this is Marcus?

- you know about a Marcus? - I...

Mrs. Ramirez, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Thank you. Call me Sonia.

And this is my dad, Miguel.

Call me Mr. Ramirez.

Sir, I've heard so much about you.

I can't say the same.

- I missed you. - your table is ready.

- Oh, good. - Good.

- Are you hungry? Marcus.

- We should eat something. - yeah.

It's gonna be okay.

Look, honey, I need to call and see what's taking my dad so long.

- I'll meet you. Okay.

- There he is. What's up, Pops? - Hey.

Oh.

- I missed you. you look good. - you do, too.

Thanks.

Hey!

Oh. Miguel, we left the wine in the car.

Miguel. Wine. In the car. Go.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I'll be right black.

I didn't know her folks were coming.

yeah, I just figured you would bring Angela.

I thought this was a date thing, not a family thing.

Lucia, this is my father, Bradford Boyd.

- Brad. - Hi, so nice to meet you.

So you're the one that my son keeps talking so much about.

- This is my sister, Isabel. - Izzy.

Okay.

- And my mother, Sonia. - Hi. Thank you.

Where's your dad?

He went to the car to get some wine.

Hi.

- Ashley? - Lucy?

Oh, my God!

What the heck?

- Hi! - Hi!

- How long has it been? - I don't know, like, seven years.

Mom, you remember Ashley. We played softball together.

- Hi. - Hi.

- What are you doing here? - I'm with Brad.

you are?

yes, I am.

Whoa. My phone is buzzing.

Wow. Can you give me a... Excuse me for a second.

Okay, baby.

Well, this is just... I mean, this is beautiful.

- Let's sit. - Okay.

yes.

I was saving this for a very special occasion,

but I guess this will do.

Hey, Dad, you remember Ashley, right? From Lucia's softball team.

- yeah. Catcher, right? - yeah, that's good. Good.

- Good memory. - So Lucia invited you, too?

Actually, Daddy, she's here with Marcus' father. His date.

- 'Cause they're dating. Each other. - He gets it.

Okay, you just missed him.

Waiter, I need this bottle opened now.

- Not a problem, sir. - Thank you.

And this is Marcus' father, Brad.

you? you towed my car!

There was a sign. you can't read?

I graduated USC magna cum laude.

- Marcus, do something. Keep your voice down.

Brother. - "Brother"? I'm not your brother, hombre.

- '"Hombre, '"really? - Dad.

- Dad! Dad! Dad! - Dad!

- What is wrong with you people? - "you people"?

This is not the place!

you wanna say it, don't you? Go ahead and say it.

Embarrass yourself in front of your daughter. Go ahead and say it.

- Say the word. - He's a jerk.

- Look, Dad. - yes.

What's going on?

How do you even know each other?

He parked in a "No Parking" zone.

He towed my car. I had my hand on the knob.

Hand on the knob! How many times have we heard...

This is not the place.

Hey! Hey!

Okay. Let's just calm down and have a seat. Please.

Please.

- Please. - you first.

No. you first.

Oh, no, no, no, you first.

- No, no, no, I insist. - What?

Oh, God. I insist, please!

- No, you... - Boys.

Sit.

Of course.

- Pop. - Just straightening my tie.

you know what I think? I think it's amazing.

I think that your dad towed his car,

and your dad thinks her dad said something racist,

and you're here with me.

I just think this is meant to be. I think it's absolutely incredible.

And it just connects all of us, it's... I think this is fate.

Wow. you know you just said that out loud.

Okay. Let's start this night over.

We can sit and have a lovely dinner and enjoy getting to know each other.

That's the point of this whole thing, right?

Actually, the point of all this is to let you know that... Ow! Ow!

We're hungry.

- Let's eat. - yeah.

I hear the gnocchi's really good here.

- What are you doing? - I'm just looking at my menu.

We're getting married.

- What? - What?

- What? - yep.

We are.

yay.

So sweet.

Marcus is volunteering for Doctors Without Borders for a year,

and he leaves in three weeks.

So we wanted to do it before that, before he leaves to Laos.

Laos? Like Los Angeles? Las Vegas?

Just Laos. Daddy, it's near Thailand.

Wait, wait, wait.

What's the rush? I mean, unless there's something that you two need to tell us...

- Oh, God, you're pregnant! - Lucia!

No. What? No! No! Dad.

No, no, no.

I'm not pregnant.

That would be impossible.

Okay.

Impossible?

Mmm-hmm.

- Impossible's good. - Good.

Impossible's good! It's good!

Impossible's good. That's a good thing.

Very proud of you.

We know this may all seem rushed, but it just felt right, you know?

I couldn't leave without her.

And I can't just let him leave without me, so...

Wait, wait, wait. you're going with him to Sri Lanka?

Laos. It's near Thailand.

What about... What about your law degree?

Well,

it's not gonna affect it at all. I checked. I did the research.

Foreign exchange law classes at the University of Laos?

- Is there even a University of Laos? - yes, I checked.

Baby.

Bye.

What, you couldn't get the tow truck down here fast enough to tow it?

Hey, Brad. Watch your head.

- Bye, you guys. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

I just don't like lying.

Look, I promise, when things calm down, I will tell them.

I'll see you at home.

Hello, mi hija.

Are you okay?

yeah. I'm great.

After the way Dad acted.

you just surprised him, that's all. Just give him a little time.

Marcus is a really good guy, Mom.

Mmm-hmm.

He wants to do really good things in this world.

And what do you want?

I want the same thing.

Then you're lucky.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning, angel, hey.

Is Marcus still coming?

- yep. - Good.

Hi, Mama.

Come here, come here.

Let me see.

Oh, my goodness, you make me so happy.

Just wait till you meet him.

I made you your favorite breakfast, chorizito con huevos.

Gotta fatten you up for your babies.

- you look about ready, gordita. - Shut up, flaca.

Hey, hey, hey! That's enough! - Watch it.

Isabel, again no makeup.

- How do you expect to find a husband? - I'm not looking.

- you wanna stay a spinister all your life? Spinster.

Sounds better than being trapped by some guy

who expects me to cook and clean and have babies

while he sits around getting fat.

Not you, Dad.

What's the rush? At the age you're at right now,

you supposed to be lining them up like bowling pins and knocking them over.

- Look here. Congratulations, all right? - Thank you.

Do not listen to these fools.

Marriage, it's a beautiful thing.

I mean, once you find that combination

- between trust and commitment... Oh, yeah.

...it's like the doors just fly open... - Just beautiful.

Trusting thing. Loving thing.

you know how much his woman trusts him?

Lauryn call him every 10 minutes. That's how much she trusts him.

Well, looky, looky.

Greg, just go ahead and answer it, okay?

We're cool. We're just gonna wait. We're cool.

No, I don't need to.

Don't move it away. Come on, man. The phone's got GPS.

It's cool. We don't have a problem with it.

- Pick it up. Go ahead. - Don't try to act tough for us.

- I'm not trying to act tough. Okay, okay.

Go ahead. It's really, really, really...

Don't tell me to answer. I won't answer the phone.

I don't need to answer the phone.

you see? There. Phone stopped ringing.

Did I answer it? No. Why?

Because that's how I...

That's how I get down.

"Get down"? - Okay?

Now as I was saying, when two people come...

- Great. - Look, answer the phone, man,

because she's just gonna put you on lockdown,

it's gonna mess up our nights.

No, we don't have lockdown in my household.

They have marital Guantanamo.

Look. So she checks up on me every once in a while?

Ankle bracelet.

So what? you know what I get in return?

Sex on the regular. It is so nice. Sex...

When was the last time you had sex on the regular?

- Sex on the regular? - On the regular.

Ain't all about quantity. It's all about quality.

Well, just because you pay for it doesn't make it quality.

I'm killing them today.

y'all can laugh all y'all want, man. Ain't no shame in my game, baby.

- Brad, you know how I get down. - I do.

- And my girl, Peaches... - Peaches is a...

She is a professional.

- Peaches. - If you don't pick that phone up,

you're gonna be asking me for Peaches' phone number.

Okay, so what happens if you don't answer it?

What? What happens... What?

If you don't pick it up?

- Well, nothing happens. - Five, four...

- I'm a man, that's what happens. ... three...

- It means she steps off. - Two...

She knows. She knows who wears the pants in this relationship.

One...

Oh, you must have forgotten what happened in Cancun last year.

- Hey, honeypie. What's up? - "Hey, honeypie. "

No, we weren't talking about you. No.

What's that song that Babyface made a few years ago?

I'm not talking in my high voice.

you know, I'm just happy to hear from you.

Hey.

Guys, give him a break.

They're clowning me. No, they didn't call you a clown.

you see that, right? That could be you.

- No. No, Lucia's not like that. - Not yet.

you don't really know what she's like.

Wait, where's all this coming from? I thought you liked her.

you saw her dad.

you saw her family.

Are you just tripping 'cause she's not black?

All I'm saying is that you don't know the deal

until you say, "I do. "

And that ring on your finger, that's about the realness.

I wanna make sure that you're doing it at the right time

and that you're not rushing things.

Love can't tell time. I gotta go.

Where you going?

Pop, I already told you. I'm meeting her family for brunch.

I miss her, I can't wait to see her. All right.

There goes another one.

you scared him away.

you're scaring the white people.

- Hey. - Hey.

Ready?

- yeah. you ready? - Mmm-hmm.

All right.

- Abuela. - yeah?

This is Marcus.

Ma'am...

- Are you okay? - Are you okay?

- I'm just trying to help. Get up.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

- Marcus. - Mr. Ramirez.

Hey, I'm headed off to the store to get some eggs. Why don't you join me?

Miguel, we have plenty of eggs. - Sure.

No. One can never have too many eggs.

- Mr. Ramirez, I know we just met... - Miguel. Miguel.

It's Miguel. Call me Miguel.

- Miguel, weren't you... - No.

No. Mr. Ramirez.

Mr. Ramirez, weren't you and Mrs. Ramirez young

when you got married?

yeah, we were, but I was respectful. I talked to her father first,

so he could get to know the measure of the man I am.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that.

- Do people still do that? - If they value family.

I do.

I do, absolutely, sir. Absolutely.

That's good to hear.

I'm sure you and your wife would enjoy time to get to know me a little better.

I wish there was a way to accelerate the process

of getting to know someone, you know?

yeah.

There's the grocery store.

It's like you were saying, a really quick and easy way to find out who you are.

It's pretty simple. All you gotta do is put your thumb on that scanner pad,

- and that's it. Right, Turman? - That's right.

I'm gonna run your prints for the basics, prison record, warrants, sexual offenses...

Come on, really?

Really?

Ramirez Towing is one of LAPD's biggest vendors, so...

I'm sorry.

you know, if I loved someone as much as you say you love her,

and I had nothing to hide, I would do it.

I've got nothing to hide. So for me, personally, it's easy.

See that?

you know what? you're right. Whatever it takes to win you over.

Oh! Slow your roll before you lose your soul.

Let me walk you through it.

Step back.

you're done.

Laos? you know, there's a lot of sick kids in America.

Why don't you help them?

Look, I know healthcare sucks for our poor,

but there are places in the world where kids have no access to medical care.

Whoa. Hello. Guys, we got a problem.

There's a warrant for your arrest for failure to appear on a public nudity charge.

- Bill! yeah.

We got us a perv.

That's disgusting.

Miguel, I'm talking about you. you got an outstanding warrant from 1984.

What? No! No!

I was 19. We were having fun, and we were drunk and...

I mean, no, no, no. We were not drunk, 'cause that would be illegal.

- We were high... No! We were not high! - I'd stop talking if I was you.

Okay. I'm not talking.

Wow.

- I'm good, right? - For now.

Hey, man, have a great time in Laos.

- Thanks. - yeah.

Miguel, please do not ruin this for her.

He is in love and he wants to get married. What's wrong with that?

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.

- Look at us. - Look at us.

Just because our marriages didn't work, that doesn't make marriage a bad thing.

Oh.

So are you saying that you'd actually like to do it again?

I don't know.

Come on. Why are you trying...

you are crazy. you know that?

I'm not crazy. I just like things to make sense. Is that okay?

Well, life doesn't always make sense, Bradford.

And love doesn't always make sense. I don't think that's such a bad thing.

Wow, Angie. That is so deep.

I'm so happy that you followed me to Los Angeles for that little tidbit of advice.

"Followed you"? Don't flatter yourself.

'Cause I needed somebody to be here and school me.

Do a little step for me.

Mmm-hmm.

Am I gonna have lots of fun.

Are you trying to touch my booty?

I did? Is that your butt?

All right, I'll be back.

- Oh, oh! - Stop!

I took care of your suspension. I brought it in on the flatbed.

I even fixed the little knob there on the gear shift.

It was kind of tricky on the '65,

- but on the '66, they fixed them. - But on the '66, they fixed them.

Wow.

- Thank you. - you're welcome.

- Is that a scratch? - What?

- There's a scratch right here on my hood. - There's no scratch.

There was no scratch on my hood before you towed it.

- you're saying I scratched your car? - you scratched my car!

I did not scratch your car! How would I scratch

- the top of your car? - Were you trying to slip it by me?

- I was underneath the car. - What is wrong with you?

Wait, wait. Pop! Pop! Pop! There's nothing there.

Look, it's a smudge. Look. See?

- See, there's no scratch. - There's no scratch.

There's no scratch, sweetheart. There's no scratch.

Look, why don't we just all go inside and relax?

- I need to use your bathroom. - Sorry.

But the guest bathroom, I'm renovating it.

you might have to hold it till you get home.

And that's the only bathroom you have in your whole house?

That guests get to use, yes.

Mr. Ramirez, I'll show you the bathroom. It's upstairs to the left.

I guess a few years after him, I moved here to practice entertainment law.

Angela's like my aunt.

Well, more than my aunt. She helped raise me.

Okay.

What?

Mmm.

Really?

So your mother is where?

We were divorced when he was five.

I fought for custody, and I got it.

She didn't fight back.

yes.

Come on. Come on!

Stop!

Oh.

All righty. So, we were thinking March 3rd for the wedding.

It's in two weeks. Nothing big. Easy.

yeah, we wanted to do something small, just the people in this room and her sister.

yeah, Izzy would be there, of course.

No.

No? - No, no, no.

- No? - No.

- What do you mean, "no"? - No. I mean, no.

It should be something special. Like, it should be a traditional Mexican wedding.

Too badwe're just one mexican short.

Here we go.

No disrespect, Mrs. Ramirez,

but I think that both the cultures have to be represented.

I mean, we have a lot of African-American wedding traditions

that are great and we should explore them.

Like what?

I can't believe you forgot, Angie. you know, jumping the broom.

- One. - We could do that.

- yeah. yeah. That's fun.

Dancing. We like to do the electric slide when we...

- No. ... actually have our weddings.

I like. That's a nice one.

you must have your dance routines.

your merengues, your salsas, your Macarenas.

And singing.

We like to do the negro song. The national black song.

The Negro National Anthem.

you know the song.

Lift every voice and sing

- Marcus. - No.

Till earth and heaven ring

Ring with the...

- Stop. - Pop.

Let our rejoicing rise

Dad! - Brad!

- Dad! Hey! - Can you stop?

- Tell him to stop, too. Pop!

Brad, come on!

Dad. Pop.

- Hey. - Will you stop?

Stop. Stop.

Stop.

Dad.

Stop.

Cool.

Look, I think that we could incorporate all of these things.

We can think about making the wedding a little bigger.

No. No, we can't afford that.

She's saying that in the Mexican tradition, the padrinos, or the godparents basically,

pay for the wedding. But since there are none, in this case,

that it's up to the father of the groom to pay for the wedding.

- That's tradition. - Mmm.

you got to be joking.

I'm sorry, but I just...

Look, if it's too hard to handle... I mean, if you don't have the money, I understand.

Just try to be a man about it.

- Excuse me? - No, not "excuse me. "

Say, "I'm cheap. Can't do it. "

Fine, it's handled. I'll pay for it. Don't worry, it will be big and Mexican.

We'll have my cousins come over. They're gonna speak Spanish.

you know, the ones that act so Mexican they embarrass us.

Wait. We have two families, the simplest thing is to split the cost.

Okay, hello. Hey.

What about us? It's our wedding. What about what we want?

Four words. "Our marriage, their wedding. "

- But I'm just saying that... - Repeat after me, "Our marriage... "

- Our marriage. - Our marriage.

"... their wedding. "

- Their wedding. - Their wedding.

Great. So, I suggest we go with a DJ instead of a band.

Oh, we could save money on that.

I got a crate-full of Tower of Power records.

Dad.

- I'll handle the DJ. - That's a good idea.

Okay, that still leaves the venue.

Why don't we just have it here?

What? - yes!

yes. No, no, no, no.

No, that's a great idea. This place is perfect for a small wedding and reception.

yeah, and we can set the tables on the lawn,

and we can float candles in the pool.

And release doves.

- Oh. - Doves?

Do you know that there's acid in dove droppings?

Do you know what that does to wooden lawn furniture?

It puts little, bitty spots all over the furniture.

Dad, I know how you care about the crib,

but it would mean a lot to us to have the wedding here.

No doves.

No doves, all right.

Mom, I like these.

Iz, which ones do you like more?

- Hello? - Helpful.

What? Watch it, man. you're gonna break the door.

I'm sorry, man. I think I got the address wrong.

Do you know which house is Brad Boyd's?

I'm Brad Boyd. This is my house.

Are you sure?

yeah, last time I checked.

I supposed to build an altar for Lucia's wedding.

Are you sure it's your house?

What? What? It can't be my house?

What... What are you trying to say? Go ahead and say it.

Nothing, bro.

Oh! I get it.

I was in a really serene place. I was doing my morning meditations.

I'm sitting out here. you got people running all over my house.

My uncle Manny works construction during the week.

So if we want it for free, it's gonna be on his off hours.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, slow down.

That vase, that's a Bauer. It's very expensive.

I can't believe it. This is ridiculous...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sonia, thanks for this wonderful seating board.

Schematic. A seating schematic.

All right. Well, trust me when I say the seating schematic

is the most important and complicated aspect of this process.

How we arrange these tables

can be the difference between a day to cherish and a hellish oblivion.

- Good. Okay. I'll start.

I put my mom, my brother, his wife,

my two nephews, my dad and step mom

from St. Louis at Table Number 3.

Oh. Hey, Earlene. you still screwing my husband?

- I'm not your husband, woman. - yes, you are.

We never got a divorce. We're just legally separated.

you never got a divorce?

Baby, it's been 35 years. I think there's a statute of limitations or something.

- you never got a divorce? - Alzheimer's.

- you lied to me. - Oh, my God.

Still the other woman. How does it feel?

I'll show you how it feels!

Told you it's gonna be tricky.

How about we put your mom and your nephews at Table 9?

My brother, he's a big mama's boy. He can't be far away from my mom.

Mama. Mama!

- What are you calling your mother for? - Mama.

Sonia, why don't you put your Aunt Rosita and Uncle Juan at Table 6,

and, Brad, you can put your mom and the kids there as well.

Oh, you must be with the black groom's family.

I know this because you are black.

Oh! What was that?

Oh, no, no, no, no. you cannot sit Cousin Jaime near any women.

Oh. Well, in that case, can we move my friends next to Marcus' frat brothers?

Mmm.

My boys get a little rowdy when they drink.

So do my girls.

Okay. What about Raymond?

I thought he was in prison.

Paroled last month.

What the fuck you looking at, holmes?

Mom!

Table 8, Table 8.

yeah, the officers from Rampart.

yeah. That's good, that's good.

What about Marcus' mom? your ex?

What?

Okay.

- Oh, my. This way, ladies.

Okay. Thank you.

Ladies, welcome.

Oh, my God. Lucia, look at this.

- And look at this one. - Okay.

Let's begin our journey with a picture.

- Oh, okay. - Okay.

Hey, Luce, I've been meaning to ask you...

Smile for the before.

...is it true what they say about black guys?

Why ask a question when you know the answer, pinche puta?

Spanish is such a romantic language.

- Isn't it? - It is.

Okay. It's time to pick out some gowns.

Mi hija, look.

Magnificent.

Maybe.

Bravo.

Stay still.

Beautiful.

- Look good? - Very nice.

Whoa.

Excuse me. Why is his white?

He has to be distinctive with the bride.

Oh, I see.

Sorry, but I'm the father of the groom.

I'm distinctive, and I would like to have a white dinner jacket, as well.

you cannot. you have to stay in the black.

That's how it's going to be uniform. Just like that.

Our marriage, their wedding.

Look, Pops, just wear the black tux. It's classic.

What's the matter, Brad? you don't like black?

Black is always classy.

you know what they say, "Once you go black... "

your credit goes bad.

What did you say?

Come out and enjoy the inauguration of

the most important dress you will ever wear.

Oh.

Careful. Take a look.

- Mom? - What?

What are you doing?

- It is so pretty. - Mom!

Oh.

I just... I thought I'd try some things on with you.

you know, to save time.

Our marriage, their wedding.

That's cute.

Izzy, where's your dress?

I wasn't really feeling it.

you weren't feeling it?

- Well, did you even try it on? - Sure.

What's wrong with this dress? I like it.

Then you wear it. Since when do you like pink?

It's not pink. It's lavender rose.

- yeah, whatever. - What the hell is your problem, Izzy?

you're supposed to be my maid of honor.

I never asked to be your maid of honor.

you're my sister, okay? That's what sisters do.

I vow to not get married young like yessenia or Letti...

Always pregnant or getting pregnant,

never dreaming of anything better.

I know the pact. Okay?

I fell in love.

It changes things.

But it doesn't change who you are.

you don't think Mom told herself that?

- Do you think she's happy? - yes.

I mean, what the hell does she do all day?

- Her jewelry. - yeah. Okay, sure.

If she's not taking care of Dad.

And when do you think is the last time he did something nice for her?

I bet you that dinner the other night

was their first night out in a decade.

And you saw the way she was looking at the vibrator in the lingerie store.

She probably thought it was a food mixer or something.

No, it was like she saw water in a desert.

Okay. Stop. That's disgusting.

I swear, you get pregnant before you're 30, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Look, Izzy, I'm not Mom.

yeah, all right. We'll check back with you in 25 years.

I'll cook your dinner, too

Oh, baby

Soon as I get home from work

I'll pay your rent

What?

What? Why are you laughing?

My dad's friends were singing this song to me 'cause they say I'm whipped.

Really?

They just don't know what I got.

Girl, I'll treat you right And I'll never lie or flirt

Soon as I get home Soon as I get home from work

All right, keep your eyes closed just for two more seconds.

Come on, Miguel, I got like a thousand other things to do.

yeah, I know, but I just wanted you to see Lucia's present.

Look.

Oh, my God.

- Is this your old ride? - yeah.

Sexy, isn't it?

I just finished it this morning. you like the new color?

- Pink? - yeah. Come on, get in.

Ooh. Wow.

Aw.

We had some good times in this car.

yeah, we did.

Mmm.

Wanna have some more good times in this car?

yep. Oh, no, not now. No.

- Come on, nobody's looking. - No, no.

It's the garage. No, no, no, no.

'Cause it's where I... Oh!

- Down here. That's fine. That's not what I meant.

I mean, get off, not get on.

Really? - I was trying to get away from you.

you guys are old. That's disgusting.

No, it's not what it looks like.

I'm looking at the rusty muffler from under here...

yeah, I bet it's rusty.

No, really, it's...

Hey, hey, hey. you don't touch another man's grill. Give me that.

So, Marcus, are you Catholic?

Technically, I'm Baptist, but I'm not really into organized religion.

But he believes in God. Right, baby?

yeah. I just don't go to church.

He's a heathen.

She's just saying that traditional Mexican weddings are traditionally Catholic.

Well, we were thinking about something a little less traditional.

- Right, Luce? - Mmm.

We were just thinking about it.

Like what?

- This woman know how to cook? - No.

But it's no big deal. My Pops taught me.

your Pops taught you?

So, Lucia, your dad was telling me that you are at Columbia Law.

Mmm-hmm.

- Dean's list. Great school.

you planning on taking the bar in New york or California?

I don't know yet. I haven't really decided.

you know what? I think everybody's being a little bit off the mark right now,

talking about law degrees and all that.

This woman can't even cook. What you gonna feed your children? Huh?

- T.J. - Fruit Loops?

SpaghettiOs, out of the can?

"Can this," what? What does that mean?

you talking about my mama?

Can your mama make huevos rancheros?

Huevos, what?

Have you called Father Paez yet?

No, not yet.

Lucia, it's going to take a personal plea from you

to get him on such short notice. And if you can't, what are you going to do?

I'm sure we can get somebody else.

So can Lucia.

Grandma, stop.

We were thinking we might just write our own vows.

No, no, no, no.

Father Paez baptized you, and he's done all of our family weddings.

Isn't it enough that you're being disrespectful to your faith

by not marrying in the church?

Okay, I will call him. I'll call him.

We were supposed to come to town,

and you were going to come clean to your parents

and have a small ceremony before heading overseas.

Now all I hear is tradition this and tradition that,

and you changing everything we agreed on.

Well, I can see how you might be a little reluctant towards tradition,

given the very unorthodox way you grew up.

Unorthodox?

Marcus, you were raised by a single man who dates girls I went to high school with.

It's a little unorthodox.

No, you're trying to flip this on me, make up for the fact that

- you can't tell your dad the truth. - All right. Okay.

you know, you get around your family, you act like a little 12-year-old.

- you're a grown woman. - Marcus, I don't really feel like

talking about this right now.

Baby. Babe, Lucia, I'm sorry.

Look, everything is just so tense around this wedding, you know?

yes. I know.

I don't really wanna think about this wedding anymore.

We just need to have fun.

- Have fun? - That's not what I meant.

All right, sweetie. Give me a good one, this one.

Hey, hey.

Baby, hi.

Daddy, I invited Marcus. He played in high school. He's really good.

What's up, pop-in-law?

Hey, Miguel. Lucia said that your team needed some help, so I'm here.

- Hi, Brad. - What?

yeah. No... We don't need any help.

We've never won a game.

I'm gonna warm up with Marcus, Dad.

Marcus, make sure you're ready.

Come on, Dad. you got this.

All right, Luce. you know where to put it.

What the...

That's all right, Dad.

- Come on, Marcus. All right, Marcus.

- Show the old man what you got. Come on, Marcus.

Go, baby.

See, we're not all about the flash.

We're about the work ethic. That's why we dominate the game.

Like A- Rod and Manny, that kind of work ethic?

Well, those guys are Dominican.

I'm sorry, what are you trying to say?

Come on, B-squared.

Give me one. Knock it out.

yeah, yeah. Go, go, go, go. yes!

Come on, Brad.

I got it! I got it!

Good job, Dad.

Come on in, come on in, come on in, guys, come on in.

- Okay... - Okay, look,

we're only down by one.

I just need one of you to get on base, and I'll get us home.

- Right. That's a good plan. - All right.

I've never seen anybody strike out in self- pitch softball before.

Oh, the bat slipped, okay?

Hold it tighter next time. Just a thought.

- Dad, you got this. - Okay. I got this.

Win on three. Win on three.

One, two, three... Win.

Watch, brother. you're about to witness Mexican power, my friend.

- Oh, I don't think so. - yeah, Mexican power. Say it.

- Hold the bat. - No, Mexican power.

- Just hold the bat. - Mexican power.

- Hold the bat. Don't drop the bat. - Mexican power.

Try not to drop the bat. Don't drop the bat.

Don't drop the bat!

Come on, Miguel.

- All right, Daddy. He's a choker.

Don't pay attention to them.

Here we go. Nice and easy.

you can do it. Hit the ball. Hit the ball. Good job. Go!

Go, go. you got it.

Run, run, run.

Go, Daddy. Go, go, go!

- Go! - Come on, Dad!

Come on, man! No!

you're short.

That was a good hustle, Dad.

you got to be kidding me. Miguel.

you... What was that?

It's all right, Dad.

Come on, Marcus, knock it out of the park.

One more time, baby. Come on.

Come on, Daddy. Give him a good one.

Knock it out of the park, Marcus.

Come on, baby. Bring mama home.

you got this.

All right, Marcus. Show the old man what you got.

Marcus! Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!

Marcus! Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!

What the...

Marcus. Daddy, what are you doing?

- Are you okay? Are you crazy or something?

- you lost your mind? - Come on, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey.

It's ridiculous.

What is your problem, Dad?

What is my problem? Brad attacked me.

yeah. After you beaned Marcus with the ball.

The ball slipped. And the way he fell to the floor, all dramatic.

- I mean, come on. - Dad, stop.

- He's not good enough for you. - Oh, come on. How can you say that?

He went to USC.

He graduated from Columbia Medical School.

Daddy, what is the problem?

If he's so special, why did you hide him from me?

I wasn't hiding him.

We speak every Sunday, and you never brought up his name.

Why?

Come on in the house, mi hija.

I promised Lucia her parents would love me.

I promised Lucia her parents would love me.

- There you go. - Guess I lied.

Dude's a little off. you know that, right? I mean, he's a little touched.

To be honest, I'm not in love with them either.

I mean, is that wrong? Should I be worried about that?

Or the fact that none of this is going like I thought it would?

you say you want to marry her, I'm good.

you say you don't want to marry her, I'm good, too.

That's not what I'm talking about. I just really need some advice here.

I'm your dad, but I'm not the person to ask for marriage advice from.

'Cause you know how I feel about that.

you'll figure it out. I've always let you do your thing, and you always do it good.

yeah, I know. I just...

Sometimes, I wish you weren't so unorthodox.

Oh, oh! Okay. I see. Is this 'cause

I didn't make you eat that asparagus, make you grow up really big and strong?

you still grew up big and strong.

Is that what you wanted?

yeah, maybe.

I can see that you're head over heels for this girl.

I felt like that about your mom.

I rushed it. I ignored all the signs.

So if anything doesn't feel good, anything,

all I'm asking is that you trust it.

- Okay? - yeah.

Ready now. Here's the pitch, high and outside.

Ball three.

you know, this guy doesn't look nearly as sharp today as he was in his last outing.

In fact, this is as far out of the strike zone

that I've seen him pitch in a long, long time.

Okay. Runners are at first and second in the third. No score.

you know, when you were a little girl, I would rock you to sleep.

I would dream about the day that you'd get married.

What it would be like, what he would be like.

This is just not how I dreamt it would be.

yeah.

Well, it's not your dream anymore, Dad.

It's mine.

And when I look at Marcus, I don't see brown, or black, or white.

Isn't that how you raised me?

Well, good night.

Okay.

Here comes the bride

Here comes the bride on the top of the cake

Is this organic? - Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

This is from where? A different place, or what?

- Three different places? - Listen, I want... No.

No, no, no. I want you to experience the cake like you will on the day.

The bride and groom need to feed each other.

- Oh. - That's the tradition.

That's really sweet, but we're not the...

Wow, that is such a great idea.

- Honey... - I bet it even tastes different.

- you only get married once. That's exactly right.

- Here we go. - yes, you link arms.

That's the tradition. The bride needs a little cake

to feed to the groom.

And then, how do you turn it around to go back like...

you see what I'm saying? This whole thing is ridiculous.

- you are an ass. - Why do people who love each other

shove cake into each other's face?

Because they love each other.

Why do we have to have cake?

- No! No, that's not how we do it.

- you're supposed to take a little piece. - Well, that's how we do it.

- Now it's on. - Oh, yeah?

- Oh, yeah. - Let's go.

What are you doing? No, no, no!

- What are you doing? No, no. - Get out of the way.

Excuse me. Stop! Stop!

Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Okay. This has got...

Got to stop, okay? I mean, to leave them...

I know you're getting married... No, no, no. Oh, God. Okay.

Not in my hair. Are you serious?

So much more fun planning a wedding when you're not the one getting married.

yeah. Speak for yourself. Because this wedding is killing me.

And my pocketbook.

I hear you.

What? you just threw that thing on the floor.

you know you just threw that on the floor? you're messing with me, right?

I am. I do half of the things I do to mess with you.

- Why do you want to mess with me? - Because...

Why do you like messing with me?

- I think... - you think...

I can feel it

Even when you're not here

I can't do a thing Oh, I'm so in love with you

So, darling, help me, please

Have mercy on a fool like me

- Getting nervous? - No.

This is Brad Boyd coming at you live, Hot 93.7 KZL y.

So what's on tap for tonight, LA?

What am I doing tonight? As you know, my son Marcus is getting married,

so I'm gonna be at Le Spot looking for a DJ for the wedding.

So the question is, '"What are you doing tonight, LA? '"

All right, caller, you're on.

Hey, Brad, it's Miguel.

you know, if I'm paying for half the wedding,

I'm coming with you to see about this DJ.

Hey, Brad. How's it going? - I'm with him.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, buddy. - Brad, this guy won't let me in.

- He's with me. - Sorry.

Come here.

- Hey. - Hey!

See this?

yeah. I'm gonna have a drink.

- Bartender. - I'm not a bartender.

- This is a bar and you are tending it. - I'm a mixologist.

- A what? - Mixologist.

Don't mess with this guy's identity, all right?

- What kind of beer you have on tap? - We only serve what's on the menu.

Could I have a Hendricks with about this much tonic and a splash of bitters.

It's not on the menu.

- Let me know, guys. - Watch this. Watch this.

- Bartender. - Hey, guy behind bar!

- Sir Mix-a-Lot. - Mixmaster flash.

- Mixologist. - yeah?

- Let's have a Pink Nipple. - Make that two Nipples, please.

Wow! It gives it that irrigated flavor.

Really? He's serious.

Look at that. Ooh!

- Just like a Cosmo, you know? - A what?

- A Cosmo. - Open up a tab?

We're just gonna have one drink.

Hey, mixologist.

Please fill my liquid receptacle.

When is the last time that you were in a club?

- I've been married for 25 years, right? - Okay.

Twenty-five years!

yeah, baby!

Oh, yeah! Remember that?

- That was nice. - What about this?

And then the Roger Rabbit. Bro, remember that movie?

yeah, there it is. There it is. I could do it.

The Matrix. Look, The Matrix. I'm Neo! I'm Neo!

Shoot me! Hey, Brad.

- yeah? - I can't get up, bro.

you got it. you got it. yeah.

Whoo!

That's a true story.

- Do you guys know Duran Duran? - yeah.

The Reflex. I told them, all of them.

They gave me this tie, man. This is a Duran Duran tie.

yeah, man.

Miguel, we gotta chill on the drinking, man,

'cause we still gotta go over here, talk to the DJ.

- yeah, 'cause that's why we're here. - yeah. Hey, hey, hey!

- DJ Spin-Sane. - There he is!

- The spinster. - yeah, I'm Spin-Sane.

But I ain't no DJ, gramps. I'm a turntable- ist.

you got... Exactly, man.

It's a whole new world out there, bro.

See, he isn't a DJ. He's a turntable- ist.

- And that guy over there, mixologist. Mixologist!

I am not a Latin. I am a Latinist.

So add an "- ist" at the end. Fo' shizz, my nist.

- 'Cause what are you? - I'm a radio-logist.

- you're a doctor. - Always wanted to be a doctor.

Like father, like son, Doctor.

What the...

Hey, man! - Cool, cool.

No, that's funny. Come on, that's funny.

- Wow, look at his face. It was a mistake.

- He's been drinking a little bit. - He's like a mountain.

Hey, you're a mountain-ist. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Hey, he wants to dance. He wants to dance.

Captain, line two. Oh, thanks.

you should have had the wedding here. you can't seem to stay away.

you were supposed to just go in there and see the DJ.

- Why couldn't you even do that? - It's not my fault.

I told you he was a little touched. He went crazy loco on me in there.

- Too many Nipples. What?

Look, for the next couple of days, I just need you to be my dad.

After the wedding's done, you can go back to being Brad Boyd.

- Hey, I'm always your dad, all right? - yeah, and I've always been your dad.

- Jesus! Hey, watch your mouth.

I get to act crazy and be drunk 'cause I raised you your whole life.

And then he comes around and tells me that he's gonna marry my daughter

and take her to Timbuktu. Oh, yeah, and not bring in a paycheck.

He's gonna be living off of your lawyer checks

while he sits around just doing whatever he does.

Are you saying that your daughter is too good for my son?

No. No, I'm not.

But I am asking you, Marcus, straight up, man to man,

would you respect a man who doesn't pull his own weight?

No, sir, I wouldn't.

- I'm gonna tell him tomorrow. I promise. - Whatever.

Do you want to be like your new buddy Brad

and hang out at the clubs all night long, picking up on the young girls?

you know, Sonia, I forgot Valentine's Day and I'm really sorry.

The other day my daughters made fun of me.

- What do you mean? - They didn't know I was listening

and they made fun of the woman I've become.

- They're our children. That's what they do. - No, no, no. I used to be a cool chick.

- I was fun. Don't you miss that? - We're not kids anymore.

I know. I know we're not kids anymore, Miguel.

But when did I stop being a woman? I'm a wife, I'm a mother.

But you don't see me as that girl that you used to pick up in your ride.

And we would just drive with the top down.

Then we'd park and listen to music all night,

till the sun came up.

But we can't do that anymore 'cause I gotta go to work.

Why is it when I asked you the other day how I looked,

you said, "Fine,"

but whatever car you're working on looks sexy?

I dropped out of law school to be a volunteer teacher.

We think that's noble. He's not going to. It's gonna kill him.

Baby, he was drunk and pouring his heart out.

- What was I supposed to do? - Stand up for me.

you just stood there and watched as I drowned to save yourself.

I know about disappointment. you know how I feel about my mother.

Babe, it wasn't like that.

Look, when you tell me you love me, I need to be able to trust that.

When you say you'll never leave me, I need to be able to believe it.

If you can't stand up to your dad for our relationship, for me,

then what are we doing? Why are we doing this?

What are you saying?

you don't want to do this? you don't want to get married?

I don't know.

you don't know?

Well, let me make it easy for you.

Lucia, what's wrong?

- The wedding's off. - What? Wait a minute.

What do you mean our wedding is off?

No, Mom, not our wedding. My wedding is off.

- The wedding's off? - The wedding's off.

you want to go toss the ball, angel?

No, Dad, I don't want to toss a ball!

- And I'm not your angel. - Lucia, calm down.

Would your angel have dropped out of law school?

you dropped out of law school?

And I've been volunteer teaching at a charter school

for immigrants for three months.

And I love it. Imagine that, Daddy, I love what I do.

Oh, and I've been living with Marcus.

And yes, we were having sex.

- Hey. - Hey!

I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop off the invoice from the caterers.

Okay. Oh, great, great.

Thanks.

Can I come in?

I got some... Just a couple of things I'm gonna take care of.

Brad?

Brad, I think the omelet's burning.

I'll be right there. I'll be right there.

Angie! Angie!

Angela, you're my best friend. I don't want to mess that up, all right?

There's no woman that means more to me than you mean to me.

She appeared in the distance

Like a prayer I had uttered once

She appeared in my life

Like a dream

only half-remembered

She entered my heart

Stayed a while

She entered my heart

Stayed a while

Made me to smile

Then gone

Gone from my life

yeah

Her love was like a burning flame of desire

Desire

If I could do it all over again,

I would call you after my first semester

and tell you that,

even though I know how hard you worked to put me through law school,

it just didn't feel right.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I just hope that you can forgive me.

Remember when you were nine,

and you melted that stick of butter on the brand new VCR

with the Duran/Leonard fight tape still in it?

you were so scared when I came home.

And I told you, "Even when I'm mad at you,

"I still love you. "

I'll always love you.

I made one mistake. One.

What, did he just forget all the times that I was there for him?

Through med school, when his mom would call.

- He doesn't want to marry me. - He said, "I don't know. "

How many times did we scream at each other growing up?

Two hours later, we're best friends again. Only difference is, now we're grownups.

Gotta apologize first.

We never apologize. That's how we dominate their brain.

Okay, get up.

- Put this on. Come on. Let's go. - What are you doing?

Being your maid of honor.

Just shut up. Stop it. Go. Get up.

She was beautiful. She was classy,

adventurous.

But she never really loved me.

Five.

- you know how I knew? - How?

She never laughed at my jokes.

- Pop, your jokes are corny. - That's not the point.

If your lady loves you, she laughs at your jokes.

It was a sign. I just totally ignored it.

Lucia laughs at my jokes.

That's 'cause Lucia is your friend.

Gotta pay attention to the signs.

Five.

- Wait, wait. - What?

What's the plan?

My plan was to get you here, and you're here.

- Wait. Izzy, wait. - What?

What if he won't come out? What if he doesn't want to talk to me?

Then he doesn't deserve you. Come on.

- I don't want to. - Come on.

you know, Angela laughs at your jokes.

yeah.

Ten.

Don't do that!

Abort!

What's that?

Stop. Lucia, stop. you're gonna get us mauled out here.

- Dogs love me. - They're coyotes.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Marcus, I'm sorry.

For making you feel anything less than the most important person in my life.

I love you.

And if you still want me, we could just...

We could go to Vegas tonight and get married

and we could just forget about all of this,

the wedding and the families and the traditions and...

Just you and me and...

- your family would kill us. - I don't care anymore.

Look, babe, I don't want you to ever feel like

you have to sacrifice your family for me.

I love you.

- Always? - Always.

Told you.

you

show me who I am and what I'm doing

you

better know this love runs deep

She's not here. She left with Isabel. - I'm looking for you.

- What, Miguel? - Come here.

- you know what I realized about this car? - What?

It's grown and sexy.

Just like my wife.

It's like you two were meant for each other.

My God!

- I love you. - I love you more.

Go ahead. Have fun.

Hey, baby. Want to come have fun with me?

yeah.

- Wow, this is a nice car. - yeah. How do I look?

Perfect.

you guys need to take this ball out and play on the grass, okay?

- Okay. - Before you break something.

- That goes by the pool on the right. - By the pool.

Hey, don't... you're Mr. Popular, right?

Is that my Brian Smith? Hey, you need to cover that. That's very, very expensive.

yo, bro, you got a plunger?

Fancy toilet.

- I think you have the wrong house. - Me no English. Sorry.

This is the wrong...

Let me help you. This goes over here on the table. Thanks. Right here.

- What is this? - It's a wedding cake.

Wedding cake. Comprende?

Mama, she speaks English.

- Who are these people? - Excuse you!

you see, this is exquisite cake.

- No. - I chose it myself.

The chef, he worked three hours on the marzipan

just to get the right molding and design.

My Lucia is going to have a traditional Mexican wedding cake.

Honey, you all know you're across the border.

I'll handle it, Ma.

- Hermoso. It's a beautiful cake. - The kids are gonna love this cake.

It is beautiful.

- you want cake? - yes.

- you want cake? yeah.

There!

Keisha. Keisha!

Keisha! No, baby. Stop!

No, we gotta give it to Jesus. Come on, baby, give it to Jesus.

What is this?

Oh, my God. It's a dish called birria. It's for Mexican celebrations.

Oh, no, no, no. you need to get this thing out of here.

yes, I know.

Hey! No, no! We are not gonna kill a goat in this man's backyard.

No goat killing in the house.

He'll eat anything.

No, no. Not in my house. you gotta get him.

He's a goat! What the hell, bro?

What now?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What's going on? Who did this?

- He did! - He did!

- Can you take care of your kids, please? - Wendell, get the boys, please.

- Get them outside. - Thank you, Brad.

you see that little line right there? Off-limits.

Don't come in my house.

They're just hyper, Brad. I'm sorry.

Nice.

- Family. - I know.

- you understand? - I understand.

Can you see it? No.

Look at this mess!

- He tore your bathroom up. - I can't believe it. Look at this.

- Where's the goat? - I don't know. Maybe he got out.

What?

What the heck? - Go!

Hey, Miguel. Down, boy. Down.

Just let him finish, then he'll go to sleep.

I got it!

- Where the... - Get the goat!

The goat! The goat!

Look at this. They do some kind of ritual around here.

I saw that goat with something on.

- yeah. I've never seen no goat... - I've never seen anything like this.

- All Spanish weddings have goats? - This is ridiculous.

Got to pray. This is terrible.

- Look at this. - This is embarrassing.

Got to pray, yes.

It's all right, Luce. We're gonna fix it right now.

- No worries. - Call me.

Totally got it. We're all helping. Everybody's helping.

Why is there a goat here? Who brought a goat?

- Dia did. - Dia, you brought a goat?

I bring it for the barbeque.

Marcus, you're not supposed to see me. It's bad luck.

This is a disaster.

All right, everybody. Let's get this cleaned up. We got a wedding.

- Okay, enough. - Okay, gum.

Okay.

- I made you these. - Oh, Mom, they're gorgeous.

Mmm-hmm.

- Thank you. - Something new.

- Thank you. - you're welcome.

Okay. Now, I want you to come

And look at this beautiful woman.

And don't you ever forget her.

Okay.

Are you sure? We could bounce right now.

you know...

I'm sorry for every wrong word I ever said about your mother.

I'm sorry for every wrong thing I ever said about marriage.

'Cause the truth is,

if Cheryl were here right now, I would thank her.

Tell her that I don't have any regrets 'cause it gave me you.

I'm so proud of you, Son.

All right, GQ.

- Hi, Angie. - Hey, Brad.

- you ready? - Ready.

Thanks for standing in for my mom.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

- Hey! - Hey, you two.

He looks so handsome.

Please, all rise.

- you ready? - yeah.

Okay.

Please, all be seated.

Excuse me.

Sir, I know this is long overdue, but...

- What is he doing? - I don't know.

May I have the honor of your daughter's hand in marriage?

Oh.

Baby, you don't have to kneel. you can just stand.

Oh.

Thank you for that. But you're her choice, which makes this my choice as well.

Welcome to the family, Marcus.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Who gives this woman to this man? - I do.

Oh, yes. And who gives this man to this woman?

I do.

Lucia, I am so happy that Marcus found you.

- Thank you for being my son's best friend. - Thank you.

you have a beautiful smile.

Break.

Sorry.

Hold each other's right hand and repeat after me.

I, Lucia, take you, Marcus...

To have and to hold from this day forward...

For better, for worse. - For better or for worse.

May we have the arras?

Symbolizing mutual protection in the material world.

Now, may we have the veil, which brings them together into one.

May we have the lasso?

This lasso symbolizes eternal love.

What God has joined, no one may divide.

you may now kiss the bride.

May I present to you Marcus and Lucia. Husband and wife.

- The one on... - On the left.

Angie, can I talk to you for a minute?

Excuse me, can I have a glass of champagne?

Thank you. Talk to you later, T.J.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome the newlyweds, Marcus and Lucia.

Hey! Hey, don't! They're saying you're whipped.

Why is she crying? It'll be fine.

Don't worry.

And if you don't know, now you know!

Angie, please, one dance.

All right. He's looking. Don't turn my son down.

One dance, Brad. One dance.

Oh, baby

Oh, baby, can't you see?

you're the only one

make me feel so free

- Come on, Brad. - Angie, don't.

I'm sorry. Gotta get us past this because I love you.

I love you.

What happens when the music stops?

Let's just make sure the music never stops, okay?

I love you.

Why now, Brad? After all these years?

'Cause love can't tell time.

- That's nice. - yeah.

you have a good kid.

yeah. Lucia's lucky to have him.

- We're family. - We're family.

- To the kids. - To the kids.

Elbows out. That's right, holmes. That's right, holmes. Then lean. That's it.

Play some music we can dance to.

Do you remember the 21st night of September?

Love was changing the minds of pretenders

While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing

In the key that our souls were singing

As we danced in the night

Remember how the stars stole the night away

I love you.

Ba de ya Dancing in September

Ba de ya Never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you

Holding hands with your heart to see you

Only blue talk and love

Remember how we knew love was here to stay

Now December

found the love that we shared in September

Only blue talk and love

Remember the true love we share today

yeah

Ah, ba de ya Say, do you remember?

Ba de ya Dancing in September

Ba de ya Golden dreams were shiny days

The bells were ringing

Oh, our souls were singing

Do you remember? Never a cloudy day

And there's a ba de ya Say, do you remember?

Ba de ya Dancing in September

Ba de ya Golden dreams were shiny days

Soft lips glistening Got me listening to your every word

Though I don't speak a word of Spanish

I can see the language barrier beginning to blur

Got to have it Though you're not an item to be won

But a dream too lavish to be slept on

So I uncock my weapon

And step unharmed to your feminine charms

Take a chance and ask you to dance with me

Though some say I got two left feet I still glide to the beat

Sliding with thee in motion

Overdosing from the opulent potion

Emotion crashing like the ocean

Tide rising, splashing

Our silhouettes enclosing in the passion Heart dashing

Souls lock, sweat glistening yeah

Let your eyes do the talking I'm listening

On this hot Spanish night

your eyes are like candlelight

I wonder, would it be all right with you

if we could fly away to the moon

Hot like the pimientos de Padron pepper

Sweet like churros but way better

Let the world go Let's toast to full-bodied red wine

Sip it slow and let it breathe as the perfume unwinds

Grapes plucked from a vintage vine

Got me sinking deep into your intense eyes

Let the incense rising cause an effect Blood rushing

All right, let me pause for a sec

I'm combusted and I don't want to fall in my step

Entrusting you Got all my respect

Call me collect Myphone's on roam

I love your breath in my ear and your vocal tone

Hot Spanish night

your eyes are like candlelight

I wonder, would it be all right with you

if we could fly away to the moon

Hot Spanish night

your eyes are like candlelight

I wonder, would it be all right with you

if we could fly away to the moon

English - US - SDH