All language subtitles for Average.Joe.2023.S01E09.Sounds.Like.Mail.Man.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[unsettling music]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[nail gun fires]

- That's what you get for messing with the Nail Man.

And tell your wife, Sigourney Beaver,

I'll be over around 8:00. [blows]

- And you're married?

Whoa, slow down, Rambro.

[both laugh]

- Ay, don't be sneakin' up on the Nail Man.

- [laughs]

Who the hell is the Mail Man?

- I am. And it's Nail Man with an N.

- Sounds like "Mail Man." - Well, it's not.

It's Nail Man. - Yeah, I know,

but it sounds like "mail."

- Okay, a mailman delivers the mail.

I deliver death.

- You done? - Yeah, I guess so.

So what brings you down here?

- Well, I just had lunch with my pops.

- You had lunch with Teddy?

What brought that shit on?

- He called and asked.

Said he wanted to see me.

- Wanted to see you? - Mm-hmm.

- Shit, is he dying? Does he have cancer?

- He doesn't have cancer,

and that's some fucked-up shit to say.

Why would you say that? - Well, I'm sorry, okay?

How often does your dad ask to hang out with you?

- Never. - My point exactly.

So what did he say? What did you guys talk about?

- Nothing, talked about Jenn getting into Carnegie,

uh, Ange, how she's doing.

Then he hugged me and paid the bill and left.

- Teddy physically touched you?

- Weird, real weird. - Mm-hmm.

- It's like he almost wanted to tell me something,

then he just didn't.

- It's fucking cancer.

- It's not fucking cancer. Why you keep--

- I--I don't know, man. Well, look.

Maybe I'm just spitballing here,

but maybe he has a second family.

- A what?

- A second family.

Cat and I, we were watching, uh,

one of those crime shows, and it featured this guy

that had two separate families,

one in Tulsa, the other in Duluth.

He wound up killing everybody in both sides of the family.

- So you think my father has two families

and wants to admit to me that he's a serial killer?

- Maybe. Just saying. That's a hard thing

to talk about with your son.

- Leon, you are one strange motherfucker.

- Strange, yes.

[dramatic music]

But also deadly.

[blows]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- Boy need prayer.

♪ ♪

[insects trilling]

♪ ♪

- These motherfuckers ain't taking Jenn anywhere.

[tool clinking]

[car beeps]

[liquid pouring]

[soft unsettling music]

♪ ♪

- [sniffs]

[sniffs]

[gun cocks] - Move and I'll blow

your fucking brains out.

Hands up.

Turn around, slowly.

How many men are in the house?

- [speaking Russian]

[growls] - English, motherfucker.

How many men are in the house?

- [laughs darkly]

- What's so funny?

- You, stupid.

Don't know safety on gun.

[both grunting]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Wanna do some Ivan Drago, Apollo Creed shit?

Let's go.

- Drago kill Apollo, just like I kill you.

- [grunts]

[groans]

- Not funny now, huh?

[both struggling]

- [yells] - [grunts]

- I tell you I kill you.

- You hit like a bitch.

[grunts]

[wheezes] That was better.

[grunting]

Yeah, that's right.

I don't mess with this shit.

♪ ♪

[both screaming]

- I'm gonna kill you! [grunts]

[nail gun firing] [groans]

[gurgles, groans]

- [breathing heavily]

Don't mess with the Nail Man.

- [groans]

[siren wails]

- What you gonna do?

- Hit me.

- Mm, all right.

- Fuck. - [laughs]

You making this too easy, Tony. [laughs]

- All right, one more time, Angie.

Double or nothing. - What?

I don't think you can afford it.

- How much am I down?

- 1.2 million.

- Damn, 1.2.

You take checks? - From you? Hell no.

- That's cold. - [laughs]

I tell you what.

If you pour me a glass of water...

[clears throat] Then I will, um--

I'll negotiate with you.

- All right, bet.

- Um, so why are you here?

- Nah, I ain't trying to get into all that.

- Oh, what you trying to say, I'm nosy or something?

- [laughs] - Okay, you know what?

Then I want my 1.2 million now in large bills, right now.

Thank you very much.

- So that's how you negotiate-- - Mm-hmm.

[laughs] - Ruthless.

A'ight... so I got shot.

- You got shot?

By who?

- My wife. [chuckles]

Shot me right in the ass.

- Your wife shot you in the ass?

- Ain't that something? - Why?

- I, uh--

I fucked up.

- What you mean, you fucked up?

- You know, I've done some real thug shit in my day.

Nah, new cards.

I ain't ready for all this.

- Oh, come on, Tony. - New cards.

- Nah, come on.

I can feel it coming off you.

You need to talk to somebody.

Come on.

Tell me about your wife.

- She was one of those ride-or-dies

that you don't deserve.

Instead of copping to that shit

and appreciating the woman she is...

you fuck it up. [laughs]

And then you do some dumb shit you can't take back

all just to what,

make it easier for you to walk away?

But the moment-- the moment you walk away is

when you know how bad you really fucked up.

And then even after all your bullshit...

she don't budge.

Why?

Why the fuck she just don't move on?

- She's not gon' move on

'cause that's the easy thing to do.

I mean, hard thing to do is when you love somebody,

you stay.

Look, now, Tony, you got a choice.

You either gon' be her ride-or-die

or her run-and-hide.

- Wow, some deep shit, Angela.

So what about you?

- What?

- Why did you land in here?

Your mans did that to you? - Oh, no.

No, he would never do that. - Mm.

- This actually, um-- it was done by a woman.

- Was it my wife? - [laughs]

No, no.

It was, um...

it was someone he went into business with.

Let's just say, uh, it, you know--it went sideways,

and I, um-- I got stuck in the middle.

- Mm.

So it was kind of like it was your man who did this to you.

- Uh...

- Can this shit-box go any faster?

- If I pushed the gas any harder,

we're gonna be Flintstoning it.

- Well, maybe I should just jump out,

run alongside until we make it up this hill.

- Maybe you should stop fucking annoying me.

- Maybe you should let me drive.

- Maybe I already made that mistake.

- Well, maybe the last car we had

wasn't properly cared for. - Maybe the driver

didn't know what the fuck he was doing with her.

- Well, maybe the previous owner didn't know shit

about cars. - Maybe we should just stop

and get some goddamn heroin.

- Maybe that was a little meaner than it needed to be.

- Maybe it was.

[foreboding music]

♪ ♪

[door thumps]

- [clears throat]

- What is wrong with you?

- Nothing's wrong with me.

[door creaks, thumps]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[faint bass music]

♪ ♪

[siren wailing]

- ♪ Tend to be too loud ♪

♪ But I'm not ashamed of my words ♪

♪ Clearly I'm gone ♪

♪ And I'm going into the deep end ♪

♪ Far over my head ♪

- What can I get for you?

- I'm lookin' for Bobby.

- I'm sorry. I don't know no Bobby.

- Okay, how 'bout now?

- Nope. - Motherfucker, I'm in a rush.

How much? - Five.

- Three. - Damn, girl, you cheap.

Your lotion cheap with your ashy-ass knuckles.

Yo, where he at?

- Booth in the back.

- ♪ I, I ♪

- Do this, tell him if he doesn't come out

with my fucking money,

I'ma burn his mom's fucking house down.

No, not with her in it.

I ain't no fucking animal.

All right. Keep me posted.

- ♪ They say I'm out of my mind ♪

♪ Can't even say it's a lie ♪

- Whoa, whoa.

No one said you could sit down.

- No one fucking asked.

- ♪ Into the deep end ♪

- Okay, what can I do for you?

- [laughs] It's more like, "What can I do for you?"

I got that H.

- I hope it's more than this.

Look I do weight.

I don't fuck around on the kiddies menu,

so don't be wasting my motherfucking time.

- Well, that's good 'cause I got a kilo.

I got your attention now?

You interested?

Or are you wasting my motherfuckin' time?

[curious music]

♪ ♪

- All right, all right, all right.

Get her cleaned up and ready to go.

Soon we will be in Mother Russia.

And this is exciting, yes?

You're excited.

Oh, she's excited.

All right, all right. Help me.

Beautiful.

- Aah! [groans]

The baby, something's wrong.

- What is wrong? What is wrong?

What is happening to my grandson?

- [speaking Russian]

- Breathe, breathe, breathe.

- I think I'm good.

I think I'm good now. [breathing hard]

[sighs] Yeah, I'm good.

I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.

I think the baby kicked, and--and I got scared.

- Did you hear that?

Thank you.

My grandson kicked.

He's probably gonna be the best football player ever lived.

Oh, opa,uh?

[kisses]

All right, everybody, back to work.

- You're not far enough along to feel your baby kick.

[soft uneasy music]

♪ ♪

[tense music]

♪ ♪

I know you're up to something.

Enough of this.

- Grigoriy!

[speaking Russian]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

[breathes deeply]

Think, think, think, think.

[dark music]

♪ ♪

Come on, Jenn. Come on. Come on.

[pounding at door]

- [speaking Russian]

- No bathroom. Leave soon.

- No.

- No bathroom. - I will tell Nicolai

how poorly you're treating me and his grandson.

I'm sure he wouldn't be too happy about that.

- [speaking Russian]

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

What?

[suspenseful music]

- [groans]

[both grunting]

- [yells, gasps]

♪ ♪

- [gasping]

- Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry.

- I'm sorry. - I'm so sorry.

- It was my fault. I'm so sorry, Jenn.

Please forgive me.

Now listen to me, okay?

We gotta get you outta here, okay?

We gotta get you outta here.

Jenn, please, come on.

Come on.

It's painted shut.

Listen. Listen.

[shushing] Listen.

♪ ♪

- How you feeling?

- Um, I'm still sore.

And now I'm losing my voice.

- The doctor wants you to have

one more methylprednisolone shot.

And then if you keep improving like you have been,

he'll move you back on to your oral meds.

- All right.

- Nice and quick.

There we go.

Great.

- [groans] - Almost done.

- Okay. - We're good.

There you go.

Can I get you anything else? - Mm, no, I'm fine.

Hey, um, there was a guy here with a therapy dog.

He had a Dalmatian.

He, um--is he here tonight?

- Are you sure?

They stopped allowing service animals in the hospital

about a month ago.

There was a biting incident.

- Oh. Uh, you know what?

I must've dreamed it or something.

Then never mind. - Okay.

- Yeah. - Ring if you need anything?

- I will.

- Get some rest. - Thanks.

Shit.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- 25 for the first key.

20 every one after that.

- No, my shit is too pure for numbers like that.

75 for the first, 70 after.

- 30 and 25.

- 50 and 50, final offer.

You won't be disappointed.

- That's not for me, darling.

- Yeah, I don't use.

But thank you very much.

- I insist.

- Hey, man, what the fuck?

You think I'm a cop or something?

I ain't no cop. [cocks gun]

Okay.

Okay!

[sniffs]

[coughs]

[groans, laughs]

[exhales, laughs]

Now I insist. [sniffs]

- [sniffs]

- Mm-hmm. - Fuck me.

- [chuckles]

- 50 and 45. - Deal.

- [laughs]

- Tomorrow, 10:00.

Pick me up here at this address, alone.

And you better have what I'm buying.

- Make it 10:15,

and you better have my motherfucking money.

[laughs]

How you get out this nice-ass car?

Oh, I figured it out.

Work like the rest of 'em.

[dreamy, distorted music]

[laughs]

[car horn honks, tires screech]

- Get out of the fuckin' street!

- [echoing] I am trying.

♪ ♪

[laughs]

[sighs]

[tense music]

- I tell you, I am working.

I'm not lying. I have job now.

I don't know who she is.

They tell me very little.

I don't know what time I'll be home.

- Whoa, whoa. - Whoa.

- Whoa.

[groans]

- You can call. They bring everything.

- You gotta go. - No, I'm not leaving with--

- Hey, I'll be fine. You gotta go.

Leon is out there somewhere. Touch is on his way.

The car's on the side of the road.

The keys are in the ignition. You start that motherfucker up,

and you just drive, okay?

- No, no, no. - Hold on.

Here. Take this.

If somebody comes, shoot 'em, and you keep fucking running.

And you keep going. - You have to come with me.

- Shh.

See you at home, okay?

I promise.

- You promise? - Yeah.

- Okay. - Okay.

I love you. - Love you too.

- Okay, bye.

I love you.

- How would I know who has best ramen in Pittsburgh?

[suspenseful music]

I've got to go.

♪ ♪

- Run, Jenn.

- [gasping]

[groans, gasps]

♪ ♪

Please be okay.

Please be okay, Jenn.

- [speaking Russian]

- [speaking Russian]

- The plumber and his friends are here.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[gunshot]

- Stay here.

- Hey there, Hit-bitch.

Remember me?

A little closer, come on.

Get her!

[gunshot]

- [pants]

- [groans] Fuck.

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

You don't get to die until I get my daughter back,

so stay in the fucking cabin.

- Stop! - [gasps]

- We go back to house now.

[vehicle approaching] - [gasps]

[gasps] Oh, shit. - Shit.

[both grunting]

- Jenn!

Wait, no, hey. It's me.

Jenn, come here. - Oh, my God.

- It's me. It's okay. - Touch?

- Are you okay? Are you hurt?

- No, no, I'm okay. - Okay, good.

Where's your dad? Where's Joe?

- He's back in the cabin. He's in the bathroom.

He couldn't get out the window.

He said that Leon's here somewhere in the woods.

- Shh. - I just don't know where.

- All right, listen, I'm gonna go after them.

Pam, you get her in that van,

and you get her out of here,

- Uh-uh, I'm not leaving without Nicolai.

- God damn it, Pamela.

These are my friends.

Do this for me.

♪ ♪

- All right, but if you see that motherfucker--

- I'm gonna kill him. - You better fucking kill him.

- Go.

- Let's go.

- Touch is gonna find my dad, right?

- He will.

They're all gonna be okay, all right?

[engine turns over]

[branch snaps]

- Oh, Jesus, Le. [exhales]

Man, it is great to fucking see you.

- Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

Jenn got free, but I lost track of her.

- No, no, she safe. She's with Pam.

- What about Joe? - Jenn says he's still up

at the cabin. - Yeah.

I shot Hit-bitch, wounded her, but didn't kill her.

Did manage to take out a couple of Russian baddies

inside of the garage.

I'm thinking there's four, five left maybe.

- Jesus, Leon, who the fuck are you?

- I guess I'm just done being a fuckup.

- Good for you. - Yeah.

You think you're done being a junkie?

- Yeah, I am.

How come you never-- - You're my brother, man.

I love you.

- I love you too, pal. - Yeah, well,

now that that's settled,

how 'bout we get Joe the fuck out of here?

- Yeah, let's do it. - Yeah.

[both scream]

- Double back to the van. You make sure

they get out of here okay.

I'm going for Joe. - Got it.

[elevator dings]

[unsettling music]

♪ ♪

[shower running]

[defibrillator hums]

[rapid beeping]

- [groans]

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, easy Angela.

All right? Easy. It's me. It's just me.

- Pam? [panting] Pam.

Oh, God. Pam. Oh, shit.

Pam, you gotta wake up. Pam.

Pam, you gotta wake up!

Pam, you gotta wake up!

Shit. [gasps]

[suspenseful music]

Oh, God.

♪ ♪

[panting]

- I can't let you do this.

- I told you. I got you.

Now go before they send somebody else.

- What about him? - Man, after you gone,

I'ma prop this fool up in the chapel.

They won't find him till tomorrow

and think he had a heart attack or some shit.

They're gonna think you just checked yourself out and left.

- Why are you doing this for me?

- Cause you real.

You took time with me.

This shit don't need to be on you.

Plus, what'd I owe you, like, a million dollars?

- 1.2 - [laughs]

1.2.

- Thank you.

- Now go on, go.

[door opens, closes]

♪ ♪

- You must be Joe.

♪ ♪

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