Original subtitles

We come together today to face the tragedies...

In dark times such as these,

we must all remember

to look to the lord for guidance.

Submit yourselves, then, to god.

Amen.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

I regret to say

I know the powers of Satan firsthand.

Our very own daughter was taken by perverts and swindlers

and let fall into a world of sin.

Sheriff?

You ought to come take a look at this.

My god.

Go easy on that stuff, will ya?

You know what they say about too much of a good thing...

Give me some sugar.

You're special.

There ain't nobody else out there like you.

Now giddyup.

Time is money. Everybody is waiting.

You're a fucking sex symbol.

Highs in the low...

America needs Jesus...

Maxine.

"The farmer's daughters.“

oh, hot damn. Look-it, there I am.

Wow.

Hollywood, here we come.

No, ma'am. We don't need Hollywood.

These type of pictures turn regular folks into stars.

We're gonna do it all ourselves. Ain't that right, rj?

Yes, sir.

Finally, a level playing field for people like us.

I don't know, Wayne.

Sounds an awful lot like what you said about

the topless cannash. You remember that?

Yeah. And had the IRS not had

a goddamn personal vendetta against me, that would've panned out beautifully.

Uh-huh.

Well, you know I'm always game. My American dream is not unreasonable.

I just want a paid-for house with a big ole pool,

so I can float around with my knees in the breeze and tan these titties.

What? I was dealt a good hand.

People spend a lot of money to look at what god gave me.

Be a sin not to take care of 'em.

Yes, it sure would.

What about you, Maxine?

What's your American dream?

Hurry it up, we aren't gonna be long in there.

If this kid I picked up from the university

can put it together like he says,

our days of struggling may soon be over.

We do even half the numbers of "Debbie does Dallas",

I'm outta the red for good.

Hell, let's make a picture a week, then.

- Patience, darlin'. - I've been being patient my whole life.

Well, that's the thing about being patient.

I need to be famous, Wayne.

I'm ready for the high life.

I'm sick and tired of never gettin' what I want.

Well, you help me keep those jokers in line out there,

I'll make sure you get everything your heart desires.

You better have.

I don't wanna worry no more, Wayne.

I deserve nice things. I have Cosmopolitan taste.

- Don't I know it. - I mean it.

I want the whole world to know my name. Like Lynda Carter or some shit.

Hey, everyone with a pulse is gonna lust after a piece of Maxine minx

once they see what you can do. You know why?

Why?

'Cause you got that x factor.

Fuckin'-a-rig ht.

Now, mosey on over there and grab us some wonder bread, wonder woman.

I don't like his girlfriend.

You don't like anybody's girlfriend.

She hardly says a word. She just stares at everyone.

Well, she's shy. Probably ain't never seen nobody like us before.

People who stare give me the heebie-jeebies.

Better get used to that if you're gonna be in the movies.

Your little boyfriend is cute.

You help him with all his films?

Sometimes, yeah.

Is that your boyfriend?

Sometimes, yeah.

Hey, how come you don't gotta film none of this in order?

Well, once I have it all in the can, I can rearrange it however I want.

No shit.

I actually intend on experimenting a lot with the film's editing.

Giving it a certain sense of the avant-garde,

like they're doing in France. It's classier that way.

And it's a good trick to disguise the low budget.

All right, let's slate it.

And hit it.

All right, go ahead and fill her up.

You know, if you tilt the camera up

from the nozzle it'll look like he's using his cock.

See? I got good sense, too.

How come we couldn't do any of this filming in Houston?

Ain't they got plenty of farms?

Well, this county raised property taxes,

a little bit of cash goes a long way out here.

Most older folks can't compete with the bigger outfits no more.

Now, we're not the only ones trying to make a buck.

Kidnappers, murderers, sex fiends...

All the result of our increasingly secular society...

Besides, it ain't exactly something I wanna advertise around town.

You know how some people can get when it comes to sex.

Remember what happened in sodom and gomorrah.

- Get what we needed? - Oh, I got it.

Thanks to help from yours truly.

- Got my smokes? - Yes. God damn.

I'm just askin'.

Hey, if I'm gonna be having sex for you, I'm gonna need cigarettes.

How's the script?

I don't know. It's all right.

Does it matter?

Hey, I don't wanna have to wear a hard hat to make a iivin', do you?

Then don't you be bringin' down the vibe of my investments.

Negativity attracts negative results.

Winstons? You know I only smoke old golds.

- All they had, Bobby-lynne. - That's it!

- I'm calling my agent. - Just get back in the dang Van.

That's right. The deviants are already amongst us,

waiting for our sons and daughters.

So, heed dire warnings, and repent before it is too late.

He may be a forgiving god,

but every man has got his limits.

Must be a bad wreck.

Y'all stay safe out there.

I'll be right back with some more golden oldies

right after this commercial break.

93.5, kbqb.

The 60th anniversary

take place this Saturday.

Don't miss your chance to tour the entire state...

- What is it? - Oh, don't look.

I hate blood and guts.

Just when you thought you'd escaped the slaughterhouse.

Yeah.

Was that a cool cop?

This is it. Our own studio backlot.

Thank goodness. I'm horny.

- You're always horny. - No, not always.

It's perfect.

It's really gonna add a lot of production value.

Y'all stay put while I go and handle business right quick.

This wasn't I had in mind when I agreed to help out on your film.

Gotta start somewhere, Lorraine.

Rj, it's smut.

When did you become such a prude?

I'm not.

I just don't understand why you're doing all this.

Because it is possible to make a good dirty movie.

Who's that?

Yes, sir. It's Wayne galleroy. We spoke on the telephone.

Howard, right?

You from the county?

This here's private property.

Didn't you see the signs down at the end of the drive?

Oh, easy, partner.

Somethin's wrong.

What'chu talkin' 'bout?

You're trespassing. The law says I can shoot.

Sir, I ain't from the county.

I'm from Houston.

We spoke on Tuesday. You remember?

About y'all's boarding house.

Oh, that's right.

You're looking for a place to stay.

Well, you never can be too careful with strangers.

You had me pretty nervous there.

It ain't even loaded.

Most of the times, just wavin' it around is all it takes.

Oh, yes, sir.

I keep the same thing in my glove box.

Wow, that's one ugly son of a bitch.

What?

He is.

Hell of a spread you got here.

We like it.

You all right there, old-timer?

I'm fine.

- She ain't much. - She's gorgeous.

Building was for soldiers during the civil war.

They never saw any action though.

What about you?

You serve?

Flat feet.

I did. Two tours in south Vietnam.

Had enough farmers tryin' to shoot me for one lifetime.

Know what I mean, pops?

Oorah.

Oh, careful, Howie.

Hot damn, that's my future fiancee you're eyeballin' there.

Been a while since you seen anythin' that nice?

I don't recall you mentioning you'd bringing all these others.

Now, about that...

See, your ad said $30, but...

I threw in a little extra to sweeten the deal.

I hope that's okay.

I don't think I like you, Wayne.

In fact, I don't much like the looks of none of y'all.

Now, my wife is next door, so I would appreciate a little discretion.

I give you my word.

You won't even know we're here.

That was some stellar negotiating.

You really do have a knack for business.

You keep jawin', towhead, I'll pull you off the main stage for a month.

Oh, but then, honey, you won't make no money neither.

How could you just stand there and let him talk about us like that?

Oh, calm down. Ain't no need to harsh the mellow.

It's harmless. He's just old.

His pecker ain't probably been hard since before you were born.

I'd hate people like us then, too.

He don't know what we're doing, does he?

So, church mouse, you do speak.

No. He sure doesn't.

And I intend to keep it that way.

Now, I don't wanna give the old codger a heart attack.

Would you?

It's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

You know what I mean?

All right.

That's enough jabberin'.

I reckon it's about high time we cut to the chase

and we give the people what they wanna see.

What do you say?

Fucking finally!

Okay. Now flip her over.

Oh, yeah. Fuck me.

- Yeah. - Fuck.

That's great. Just scooch your chin up for me.

All right, now slow it all down.

- I wanna see the passion. - Hey, kid.

How about you just point the camera and stay in your Lane.

Let me do the screwing here.

Yeah!

Yes!

Oh, my god.

Now, I may not know shit from shinola when it comes to filmmaking,

but I know for damn sure people are gonna

wanna see what I just saw in there.

Well, that's 'cause I'm not treatin' it like pornography, but as cinema.

That's what these other adult films are iackin'.

Whatever you're doin', you keep doin' it.

People's eyes are gonna pop out of their damn skulls when they see this.

We're gonna be rich.

Feel how hard my cock is.

Oh, sorry, baby.

Don't be standing there like you're all proud of yourself.

I was born for this line of work.

Uh. You didn't do nothin', dummy.

It's called actin'.

You good, but you ain't that good.

Fuck my pussy.

Oh, you make me so wet.

Oh, my god, you're so big.

Aw, don't look so glum.

You did just fine. Come here.

I think I love you.

Bless your heart.

And action!

Sorry to bother you, ma'am,

but my Van broke down on the highway back yonder,

and I was hopin' I could use y'all's phone to call for help.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm afraid we don't own a telephone, but my daddy will be home soon,

and I'm sure he could give you a lift to town.

Would you like to come inside?

Much obliged.

Hello?

Hello?

Lemonade?

Sure is hot out there.

You must be awful thirsty.

Yes, ma'am.

It's got a good taste.

I should probably get back now.

My boyfriend gets real fussy when he don't know where I'm at, so...

Come with me before daddy gets home.

I was young once, too.

It was taken right before the first war.

Believe it or not, my Howard served in both.

He survived the trenches and Omaha beach.

There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for me back then.

That's the power of beauty.

I was a dancer in those early years.

But then the war came, so...

Not everything in life turns out how you expect.

Such a special face.

Beautiful.

Look.

I don't know what's come over me.

I've never quite felt like this before.

If daddy catches us,

there's no telling what he might do.

What are you doing?

You should go.

It will be our secret.

What will?

Watch out!

I've been looking everywhere for you!

Sorry.

The kid says we're gonna lose the light!

Well, come on now, chop-chop.

You're not good. Bluff it.

You're a fucking sex symbol.

I will not accept a life I do not deserve.

Are you ready?

Let's go to work.

Coast is clear.

Right... sound speed.

Okay, we're rollin'.

Farmer's daughter, take one.

Action.

I'm looking for the owner of this farm.

His daughter said I could find him in here.

You must have been talking to my sister.

Sister?

- She didn't mention you. - Not surprised.

She's always been jealous.

I'm younger, get all the attention.

Daddy never lets her leave the farm anymore.

He's very protective.

Well, I was hopin' he could give me a ride back to town before it got dark.

We shouldn't disturb him.

It would only make him angry.

You wouldn't like daddy when he's angry.

I could give you a ride.

We talked about this.

Howard?

Please.

You know I can't.

My heart...

You were amazing out there.

Now I know why Wayne left his wife for you.

- So do I. - Careful.

Told y'all she was somethin' special.

X factor.

Thanks, baby.

- What are you looking at? - Wait, come on now.

No, Wayne.

Anybody ever teach you not to stare? It's rude.

You got somethin' to say to me or what?

Well, I do have a question.

See, she's interested, is all.

What's on your mind, church mouse?

Isn't it strange

watching her doin' it with him?

It's just business.

As long as the camera is runnin'.

So the camera changes things?

- That's right. - It's not real life, raine.

It's just a movie.

I know that.

Just sayin'.

- What about love? - What about love?

- Well, don't y'all believe in it? - Of course we believe in love.

How can you love someone and still be with other people?

You think we don't have no morals or somethin', is that it?

No. No, I just...

Take it from me,

letting outdated traditions control how you live your life will get you nowhere.

I don't know about you, but I got better places to be than where I came from.

- Amen to that. - And besides, it's just sex.

You can decide who you wanna love, but not who you wanna screw.

Attraction's out of our control.

It ain't healthy keeping those feelings locked away inside.

I seen you sneaking a few long peeks at Jackson over here.

- No, I... iwasn't looking... - It's okay.

- He don't mind none. - She's right.

I don't mind.

No offense.

Everybody likes sex.

It's a gas.

We're just not afraid to admit it.

Queer, straight, black, white...

It's all disco.

You know why? Because one day, we're gonna be too old to fuck.

And life's too short, if you ask me.

Roger that.

The fact of the truth of the matter is,

we turn folks on.

- And that scares 'em. - They can't look away neither.

That's right.

We're like a foxy car wreck.

Which is how I know

that this new home video market is set to explode.

Finally, people are gonna get to see what they desire

in the privacy of their own homes, free of judgement.

We're gonna give that to them before anyone else.

Porn ain't only gonna be for perverts no more.

Toast to the perverts.

They've been payin' our bills for years.

Hear, hear! To the perverts!

To iivin' a life of excess,

being young and having fun till the day we die.

To the power of independent cinema.

To living life on our own terms.

And never accepting what self-righteous naysayers have to say.

Right on.

I don't know if I agree with all of that,

but I did like what I saw today.

I didn't think I would, but I did.

Cheers to that.

- You ready? - Yeah.

I wanna do a scene in the movie.

What?

I wanna be in the movie.

Well, why not?

Well...

Because...

Did y'all put her up to this or somethin'?

- No! - Hey!

Take it easy. They didn't do nothin'.

Nobody put me up to anything. I've been thinking about it all day.

And...

Well, I'm young.

And if we really are makin' a good dirty movie,

then I don't wanna just carry the equipment.

I wanna be in it.

Well, you can't.

Says who?

It's my film, Lorraine.

I mean, it wouldn't make any sense. We've already shot half of it.

The story can't just suddenly change midway through.

Why?

Because it just isn't done.

What about in “psycho"? You love that movie.

Well, "psycho" is a horror film.

And that plot was a macguffin to build suspense.

And I'm not making that kind of movie.

Oh, come on, rj.

Nobody's comin' to see this film for the plot.

They're comin' to see tits and ass.

- And a big dick. - Lorraine!

It's the truth.

Why not just give the people what they're payin' for?

Because I'm making something better than that.

When did you become such a prude?

All right, hold on.

I am the executive producer, which means I get a word.

So, why don't we just take a step outside

before anythin' gets said that someone might regret.

You gotta back me up in here, Wayne!

I mean, this situation is fixin' to get outta control. It is awfully close.

Relax.

Hey, what is it they say, "life imitates art"?

It's the other way around.

Whatever, it don't matter.

But you need to listen to me, okay?

Because you ain't been 42, and I have been 23.

And I'm gonna explain somethin' to you about young women.

Now, if she's serious,

which I suspect she is,

she's gonna do it whether you like it or not.

Now, you try to stop her, not only is she gonna do it,

she's gonna go on and do it with god knows how many people

in god knows how many other films, and nobody wants that.

The way I see it, you only got one good option here.

What, letting her get balled by some man whore?

Come on now, Jackson is a professional. He ain't got no diseases or nothin'.

You just want more sex in the movie.

That ain't me, hoss. She wants it, you heard her.

Heck, if she does great, she gets famous, maybe she'll take you with her.

Wayne, you don't get it.

Lorraine is not like the others in there.

She is a nice girl.

I beg your pardon?

No, I didn't mean it like that.

Oh, I hate to be the one to tell you this,

but ain't none of them nice girls.

To hell with this.

She can have it.

Let's see how far they get without me.

Good luck finding your own way out of here.

What the...

Ma'am?

Are you all right?

Sorry, I'm...

Ma'am?

What?

How come you just did that?

Why won't you look at me?

Look at me like you looked at her.

What?

I can show you what I'm capable of.

Stop. I don't wanna see it.

Maybe we should just go find your husband.

Help me.

Rj?

Rj?

Hey, hey, hey.

What's goin' on, church mouse?

It's rj. I woke up, and he was gone, I...

You don't think he left me, do you?

Well, the Van's still here.

He's gotta be around somewhere.

Oh, hey, it ain't like your dog ran off.

He's probably just processin' things, you know?

Go on back to bed.

I feel bad if! Hurt him. I don't wanna break up.

Hun, you didn't do nothin' wrong.

He'll get over it.

He just needs to toughen up, is all.

Come on. I'll talk to him in the morning.

Will you help me find him?

Please? I'm worried.

All right.

I ain't gettin' in the middle of no more of this shit.

Rj!

Are you in here, brother?

This ain't the way to go about handlin' this.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry if I disturbed you.

What are you doin' out here?

I'm lookin' for my boyfriend.

Have you seen my wife?

No, sir.

Two keys to keepin' a healthy relationship.

Never let a good woman out of your sight.

Never mention her weight.

How do you think I've been surrounded

by so many beautiful females my whole life?

There's an art to it.

Just like business.

Fuck! Son of a bitch!

Oh, fuck me!

Oh, shut up, cheeseburger! Go wander into traffic.

Oh, fuck.

Rj, you in here?

I stepped on a nail.

Come on out and help me, for Christ's sake!

I'm gonna catch tetanus from this shit.

Rj?

Church mouse, that you?

There's another light down in the cellar.

Can you go get it?

Please. My wife is not well.

It's very dark,

and I'm worried she could fall and break her hip.

Downstairs. You'll see my workbench.

Foundifl

Hey, I'm locked in!

Hey!

Hey! Hey! Open up!

What is it, baby?

Thought I heard somethin'.

Probably nothin'.

Old habits die hard.

Go back to sleep.

Aye, aye, captain.

Everything okay, pops?

My wife, she's gone missing.

Missin'?

She gets confused.

It happens sometimes after dark.

Lot of firepower for a missin' wife.

It's for gators.

I found her once by the edge of our pond.

If she was to fall in...

Want some help?

Not for self but for country, right?

Let me go and get my skivvies.

I say we each take a side of the perimeter.

Cover ground quicker that way.

I only got the one light.

No offense,

but it's been a while since you was deployed.

I spent three nights face down in a rice paddy

scanning for land mines and trip wires.

Once a marine, always a marine.

If she's out here...

I'll find her.

I got nothin', pops.

Shit.

What you doing all the way in there?

Oh, no.

Pops, you okay?

You in here?

Help! Help, somebody, please!

Please help me!

Rj!

Help!

Oh, shit!

You scared me, pops.

Once a marine, always a marine.

Well... Your lady ain't in there.

I can't give her what she wants anymore.

You don't understand what it's like.

You can still do as you please.

Say what?

The last bohemian that stayed here was the same.

Traipsin' around in barely any clothes.

Enticin' my wife.

Yeah...

Okay, well,

we better get back up to the house and find out what's goin' on.

I know exactly what's goin' on.

Maxine?

That woman was in my bed touching me!

You're just makin' things worse.

Help me!

Somebody! Please!

Nobody is comin' for ya.

Get back down in that cellar and be quiet!

- Shut up! - Help!

- Hey! Somebody, please! - Kidnappers, murderers,

sex fiends,

lurkin' where we least expect

in good Christian homes,

right under our very noses!

Jackson?

Vvayne?

Where are y'all?

Oh, my goodness.

Ma'am?

Ma'am? Be careful!

Step away from the edge, it's dangerous.

It's all right. Here, here.

You're safe now, okay?

Are you hurt? I don't see anything.

My Nana gets confused sometimes as well.

I learned all about it.

Believe it or not, I've even thought about becomin' a nurse one day.

Okay. Why don't you come with...

What the hell did you do that for?

I don't need a nurse.

Why should you get to have it all?

What have you ever done except be a whore?

Okay, you know what?

You don't want my help? No problem.

I was just tryin' to be nice.

You don't deserve to be able to just flaunt it in my face like you do.

It ain't my fault you didn't live the life you wanted.

Now move out of the way, please.

Move! You mean old ugly b...

Bitch.

Was that the one?

You know I don't like blondes.

Disgustin'.

Lorraine?

Rj?

Uh, place is empty.

What about that other fella, Wayne?

In the barn. Stuck like the pig he was.

Well, that's three down.

Foun

and I got another kept up at the house for you.

I don't want her.

This one was different.

She had something special.

Like I did.

Sick and tired of never gettin' what I want.

You know I want to give it to you, Pearl.

But I'm tired, too.

I know.

Tell me I'm special.

Of course you are.

I've felt that way since the first moment we met.

You were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Oh, not anymore.

Always.

Tell me I'm yours.

That you still want me.

Make me feel young again.

- What if my heart can't take it? - It can.

Fuck me, Howard.

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

Help!

Help!

Somebody, help me, please!

Let me out of here!

Keep your voice down.

Don't tell me to be quiet! I was locked in a dungeon down there!

These old people are fucking crazy!

I have to get out of this house before they kill me, too.

We need to find the keys to their truck.

I never should have listened to you.

This is all your fault!

Lorraine, we need to stick together.

I hate you!

I hate you all so much!

Lorraine!

I told her to stay in the damn cellar!

That's all right.

We don't need her anymore.

We got each other again.

Help me drag the body inside.

If she's in the house, that's self-defense. That's the law.

You don't really believe anyone's gonna come looking for 'em, do you?

We ain't gonna risk it.

We need to play this smart, Pearl. No sense in making a mess now.

If nobody shows up by tomorrow,

we'll take the body and we'll dump her in the pond with the others.

Which reminds me, we're gonna need to get Wayne outta the barn

and sink him, too.

She's heavier than she looks.

Howard. Howard!

Howard?

Howard?

Howard!

Where are the keys to the truck?

- He's having a heart attack. - I don't give a shit!

- Where are the fucking keys? - In the kitchen...

- Under the lamp. - We are together.

Howard?

We have reached a crossroad with salvation or damnation?

You're gonna rot when people find out what you've done.

The time is now.

- What I have done? - For if we do not take control

- of our own fate, the lord... - What about you?

Shall do it for us.

You don't think I know who you really are?

I saw what you did in the barn.

You're a deviant little whore.

We're the same.

You'll end upjust like me.

Time to turn our backs on sin and make the commitment...

- I'm nothin' like you. - Once and for all.

You're a kidnappin', murderin' sex fiend.

I'm a fucking star!

The whole world is gonna know my name.

Say it with me now.

I will not accept a life I do not deserve.

I do not deserve.

Hallelujah!

Stop fuckin' starin' at me!

Now, that's what I call divine intervention!

The lord smiles on those who accept him. Praise his name!

Glory be to Jesus!

My hip...

Help.

You whore!

You're not innocent!

You're not special!

It'll all be taken from you!

Just like it was from me!

I'll tell everyone what you are!

It'll be our secret.

Divine intervention.

Praise the fuckin' lord.

I hope that, through my own admission,

others may find the light.

I wanna show y'all somethin'.

Get a shot of this.

There she is.

My beautiful little daughter Maxine.

Lured into a life of sin by the very deviants

we warn of here on a daily basis.

From our iovin' home into the hands of devils.

We pray, one day, she'll find her way home to us.

Amen.

Bless you, bless you.

What do you reckon happened, sheriff?

How the hell should I know?

Hey, boss.

One of the boys found this inside.

What do you think is on it?

Well, by the looks of everythin'...

I'd say one goddamn fucked up horror picture.