Original subtitles

[bright music]

- I just don't see why this photo shot is so important.

- Photo shoot-- come on, Optimus.

"Trucks Illustrated" is the number one big rig

blog on the web.

You don't want to be left out of the trailer issue, do you?

- Yeah, and it'll be great for the Autobots' image.

I didn't want to say anything,

but you're losing popularity in the all-important 24

to 48-foot trailer demographic.

- And there are still some folks who aren't jazzed

about Cybertronians living on Earth.

We got to show them that Autobots are regular people.

- Yeah, regular giant techno-organic people,

just like them.

- Well, it is my responsibility to strengthen

the bond between humans and Cybertronians.

For the good of botkind, I will do it.

- All right-- now we got to make sure

you put out your best look.

- Hmm, I could show the trailer in battle mode.

[beeps]

[metallic clanking]

- Yeah, I don't think the big canon really

sells peace and friendship.

- Maybe just keep the trailer closed.

- [groans]

[beeps]

[metallic clanking]

[finger squeaks against metal]

- Yikes.

And get it washed.

- Optimus, trust me on this.

I have a lot of experience taking bad school photos.

They can haunt you forever.

- What is up with the rat?

- I had peanut butter on my neck,

and he thought it was his.

They called me "Ratty Robby" all year.

You don't want kids calling you "Optimus Grime," do you?

- Very well.

You're in charge.

- Ha!

Awesome, the photo shoot's not until sunset.

We'll have it back in plenty of time.

[whirs]

[clanks]

- Please be careful with it, and no air freshener.

I don't want it smelling like a pine tree.

- OK!

- OK.

[squeaking]

- Whoo!

This trailer is going to sparkle in the sunset.

- Ooh, I'm setting up a social media account

to get more eyes on it.

[electronic beeping]

- [gasp] We're missing a valve cap.

BRB.

- Comments, photos-- ooh, emoticons.

[bell rings]

- Got it.

Optimus is going to be so--

[wind whistling]

Where's the trailer?

- [gasp]

[items shatter]

[transforming pulses]

[electricity crackling]

- How could we lose Optimus's trailer?

- [groan] It's my fault.

Social media is my Achilles' heel.

Should we call Optimus and tell him what happened?

- And let him think we couldn't handle a simple car wash?

No way.

- OK, big guy, we want you to be ready in case

the blog wants to do an interview.

So let's practice with some hard-hitting questions.

What's your favorite color?

- Red and blue and chrome.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Now, where do you see yourself in 10,000 years?

- I fear having this same conversation with you.

- [chuckle] So you're saying we'll be friends forever?

Yes!

Sweet.

OK, the people want to know, Optimus, you and Elita,

come on, what's up with that?

- It's complicated.

- Two-parter-- are you leader of the Autobots because you

have the Matrix, or do you have the Matrix

because you're leader?

- Ah--

- Who's next in line for the Matrix of Leadership?

And can it be me?

- What time did Robby and Hashtag say they'd be back?

[whirring]

- How are we going to find this thing?

- Witwicky may look like a sleepy town,

but with all this top secret stuff that goes on here,

Nightshade installed cameras everywhere.

[static crackling]

- Wow, even in the trash bins?

- Wait, I got something.

- It's Aftermath.

This is bad news.

[spray hissing]

- What? No.

OK. OK.

Touch-up paint and a valve cap--

easy peasy.

- Uh, did you notice the train tracks?

- Train tracks-- why is it on the train tracks?

Gah!

Let's go!

[tires squealing]

[electronic beep]

- Look at this Chaos Terran.

He's just going to smash Optimus's trailer?

We could have way more fun with it.

- Yeah, like smashing it ourselves.

- Eeesh, you know what your problem is?

A lack of vision, and a whole list of other things

that I keep in my "What's Wrong With Hardtop" journal.

I'll read them to you later.

[train rattling]

[train horn blares]

- Oh no, it's headed for the trailer.

We'll never outrun it. - Oh yeah?

Just watch me.

[electronic beeps]

[tires squealing]

- [cringes]

[engine whirring]

[tires squealing]

- Aftermath, please, if anything happens

to that trailer, I'm going to be in worse than grounded

trouble with Optimus Prime.

- Not my problem, Malto.

The train's going to bust it wide open,

and I'm getting the prize inside.

[metal clanks]

[laugh]

[energetic music]

Ahh!

- Ha!

Uhh!

- Ugh!

- Ahh!

- [groans]

[train whistle blows]

- Oh no, the train!

[grunts]

[both grunting]

[train whistle blows]

Ha!

[grunts]

Ugh!

[train rumbling]

- [sigh] I'm going to need a tune-up after that.

Think we can fix the trailer before the photo shoot?

- No problem.

All we need is chrome polish, touch-up paint, a scratch

repair kit, a valve cap--

- Uh, are you not seeing what I'm not seeing?

- [gasps]

[bird screeches]

- Fender Fived, yeah.

Now let's go smash this lollipop open

and get to the sweet cannon center.

- Ooh, that is vision.

[energetic music]

- How could a little thing like a car wash

turn into such a nightmare?

- I still think we should call Optimus.

I mean, haven't you ever seen a teen rom-com?

Things just get worse when you don't come clean.

- We can't tell Optimus that we failed him.

We can fix this.

I'm going to buy us some time.

- So you're saying that for leadership of the Autobots,

I'm 467th in line?

- 567th.

- Noice!

Well, that wraps up all my questions.

You're good to go.

- Why is it taking them so long to wash the trailer?

Could something have gone wrong?

- It's just water and soap.

What's the worst that can happen?

- Well, hard water can cause unsightly deposits.

And if they're using an alkaline-based cleanser,

it could leave streaks on the--

[phone rings and vibrates]

- It's Robby.

See, I'm sure everything is going great.

Hey, Robby, how great is everything going?

- Not great at all!

The trailer's been stolen twice.

You got to cover for us till we can get it back.

- Oh, hot wax sounds delightful.

I'll tell Optimus, who is standing right next to me.

But you'll really need to bring it back afterwards.

- We will.

But in the meantime, we need you to keep

his mind off the trailer.

- Can do.

Good news, boss man-- they'll be back real soon.

But while we're waiting, we really need to work on your,

uh, camera poses.

- Ugh.

- Give me casual.

- [groans] Like this?

- That's a good start.

How about action-y?

- Ugh.

[grumbles]

Wah! Weh-- let's see this-- ahh.

- Ooh, OK-- maybe try contemplative.

- Ah.

- Yeah, let's clear your calendar

for the next few hours.

- Eh-- [groans].

- OK, Jawbreaker's keeping him busy.

Now, how do we find that trailer?

[whirring]

That looks like a lead!

[blasters zapping]

- [grunts] Man, this thing just ain't opening.

- But if we keep doing the same pointless thing over and over,

it'll work eventually, right?

[inquisitive music]

- I might have a better idea.

[grunts]

[tires squealing]

- [gasps]

[groans] Now we need a dent puller and chrome polish,

touch-up paint, then-- - Robby, focus.

Give us back that trailer, Decepti-goons.

- Well, we might if you ask nicely.

- Nope, we won't.

[both cackling]

- Not cool!

[blasters zapping]

- I'll keep them busy. You stop the conveyor belt.

Ahh!

[intense music]

[blasters zapping]

- Belt, belt, belt-- ah!

Belt. [grunts]

No! It's going faster.

[blasters zapping]

- [grunting]

[blasters zapping]

[grunts]

[grunting]

- [groans]

- Ahh!

- [gasps]

Gah!

[straining]

Ahh!

- [grunts]

[straining]

[airplane engines roaring]

- I knew those fireworks were going

to lead us to something good.

- Let's tear open that cereal box and get the toy inside.

[airplane engines roaring]

[metal clanks]

- [groans]

Oh! Ah! Uh! Ah!

Let go!

It isn't yours.

- It is now.

[airplane engines roaring]

- Ahh!

[groaning]

Can we tell Optimus now?

- No! Let's go.

[whirring]

- Ah.

[grunting]

What'd I miss?

[sander whirring]

- What is it we're doing, again?

- A pedicure-- very relaxing before a big photo shoot.

Help keeps mind, body, and spirit free of distractions

like that the trailer isn't back yet--

[gasp] I mean-- oh!

- Right, the trailer.

The photo shoot is in one hour.

Where are they?

- Ohh.

- Optimus Prime is never late for an appointment.

Tell Robby and Hashtag to bring the trailer back now.

I don't care what it looks like.

- [whimpers]

- And then, uh, give my feet one more pass with that tool.

- Guys, Optimus wants you to bring the trailer back now.

- Ugh!

We had it, but Decepticons swiped it again.

I mean, it's pretty on brand, but--

- Don't worry. We'll get it.

Just keep distracting him.

- Ugh, we need something better than blind luck

to find the trailer again.

- Why didn't I think of this before?

Activate your audio scanner.

[electronic beeping]

Now run a frequency sweep for a car alarm chirp.

- Copy.

[electronic beep]

Can you triangulate on that signal?

- Ha-ha, I sure can.

[electronic beeping]

[tires squealing]

[electronic beeping]

- Ahh!

[both grunting]

- Why does this thing keep chirping?

It's really twisting my turbines.

- After we crack this thing open,

we'll turn it off gently--

by ripping out its chirp guts!

[both cackling]

[both grunting]

[electronic beeping]

- What's wrong with these Cons?

Why do they always have to destroy stuff?

- Should we call-- - Don't say Optimus.

I'm going to find a way to get to that trailer.

[energetic music]

[both grunting]

- Hold on, time-out.

This isn't working.

- Let's just blast this thing open, then.

- All right, on the count of 3--

1, 2...

both: 3!

[both gasp]

[wind whistling]

- Didn't a trailer used to be here?

[loud thud]

- Whoo-hoo!

[beeps]

[both grunting]

Chrome polish, touch-up paint,

scratch repair kit, dent puller,

probably a sledgehammer, and a valve cap.

With a little elbow grease, it'll be good as--

[loud explosion]

--new.

- [groans]

[tires squealing]

- We're doomed.

Optimus is going to make me read "War and Energon"--

all 5,000 pages.

- Oh, it's not so bad.

- Really?

- No, it's really bad.

- Ugh!

- They're probably just driving slowly to make

sure that nothing else--

I mean, nothing at all happens to the trailer.

But hey, you know what else you could be thinking about?

Warming up your vocal processor with a tongue twister.

Repeat after me-- she sha-- she sha-- oh, man, I'm--

I'm really bad at this.

- We only have 30 minutes.

We've got to roll out!

Have those two meet us at the photo shoot.

- I stalled him as long as I could.

You have to meet us at the photo shoot.

Good luck. [electronic beep]

- We can't show up to a trailer photo

shoot with a wrecked trailer.

How did I screw this up so badly?

Optimus is my hero.

He's helped so many people.

All I wanted was to help him for a change.

- Well, maybe now it's time for someone to help you.

[engine revs]

- Hey, Robby, your pit crew is here.

- I told you not to tell anyone.

- No, you told me not to tell Optimus.

You never said not to tell our family.

[chuckle] So I messaged them.

- Oh, man, look at that trailer.

Optimus is going to make you read "War and Energon"

and write a book report.

- There's a book report?

- No, he's not--

we're going to fix it.

- I hope that toolbox has more than a hammer

and some duct tape in it.

- Oh, this is my lunch, but Twitch

and Nightshade have your back.

[bird screeches]

[metal clangs]

- We've got chrome polish, touch-up paint,

scratch repair kit, dent puller,

two sledgehammers-- oh,

and a valve cap.

Ah! Oh!

[engine revving]

It's OK-- we got a whole box of them.

Let's get to work.

[engine revs]

[energetic music]

[clangs]

[drill whirs]

[engine revs]

[metal clangs]

[spray-paint hissing]

[hammer clanging]

[polisher whirring]

both: Whoo! Yeah!

- The trailer looks great, guys.

Thank you for all your help.

- Anytime, Robby.

Tell Optimus I said hi.

[engine revs]

- Five minutes to go-- we got to jam.

[tense music]

- Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha!

- We've got company!

[missiles blasting]

[loud explosions]

- I thought we got rid of these guys.

[loud explosions]

[tires squealing]

- They're getting it all muddy!

OK, I've had it.

- All right, we finally get to see

that boom cannon in action.

- Uh, Hardtop?

[blaster zapping]

[loud explosions]

[wind whistling]

[bird screeches]

- [sigh] It's almost sundown, and they're not here.

I have no choice.

I am gravely embarrassed, but my trailer has gone missing.

Can we do the photo shoot without it?

- It's the trailer issue, sir.

[scoffs]

Fine, I have a loaner, but it's not exactly your size.

- Oh, what?

- Ah, I must have a long, tedious talk

with Robby and Hashtag about responsibility.

- We're out of time, and the trailer is filthy.

- Let me run a geolocation algorithm.

- OK, safe route is 20 minutes, fast is 10,

and insane is 23 seconds.

[laugh] Well, I guess we're going insane.

- What? No-- not again.

[tires squealing]

- Ah! Huh-huh-- ahh!

Ah!

[tense music]

Uh-uh-ahh!

[camera shutter clicking]

- Oh, it's cute.

I just want to scwatch its widdle chin.

[loud thud]

- Robby, Hashtag, I knew I could count on you.

And Jawbreaker was so worried.

- [groans]

- We just needed a little extra time to make it perfect.

- Don't think that I didn't notice that new valve cap.

- Ready to strike a heroic pose with

your photo-perfect trailer?

- Say "Energon."

- [sniffs] Is that pine air freshener?

Oh, pine makes me--

[sneezes]

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