Original subtitles

[indistinct chattering]

[sighs]

[Rani] Okay, you can go.

That's the last of it.

[gasping]

Stop!

We'll give you the money back.

Please we'll pay it back and more!

No!

[Rani] Give us, uh, eight weeks!

That's it.

No. Count it all again.

He's counted it three times already.

That is it!

We did it?

We're done?

[Myrna whoops]

[woman] ♪ This train is a clean train, you know, this train ♪

[laughing]

[woman singing blues] ♪ This train is a clean train ♪

♪ I said, this train ♪

Oh, yes.

♪ This train is a clean train ♪

♪ Everybody riding in Jesus' name ♪

♪ Because this train is a clean train ♪

♪ Oh, this train... ♪

[country music playing]

[police siren wailing in distance]

Uh-hmm.

Ma'am.

Diane?

How'd you get into the police car park?

Oh, I went up to the front desk, said I have some information

on the Somerset Stalker, desk sergeant went to get his notepad...

bingo.

Right.

Can I help you with something?

Oh. Okay.

Cluck, cluck, cluck.

Excuse me?

I found this little bad boy on a routine search of the community centre.

Carried out while I was on a date

during which, the guy said he was in love with me.

After one date.

You take evidence bags on dates?

What, you don't?

What do you imagine to be the significance of a...

-plastic egg? -Oh!

Well, ma'am, these can be used to transport or conceal illegal drugs.

'Cause they can be inserted into various human orifices.

-Oh. -You open the egg thusly,

pop the drugs in, close the lid,

then gently insert it into your anal...

-Uh-hmm. -...or vaginal cavity.

Oh!

Like that, or there.

Dealers' choice.

-Well, erm... -Do you want to...

-Okay. -It's the evidence.

Thank you, Diane, I will see to this.

Pleasure.

Uh-hmm.

Have a good day.

Jesus Christ.

[indistinct chatter]

[phone ringing]

Oh. Can I talk to you about something?

Since they granted us the community centre,

there are all these due diligence forms to fill out

and this one's about money laundering.

Money laundering?

Yes. Not-for-profits are a big

target for money launderers, obviously,

and we have to be whiter-than-white.

[chuckle] That's not the phrase I'd use.

So, I was checking our bank account

and...

What am I looking at, exactly?

Here.

Thousands of pounds going out to something called

Laycock Logistical Services.

Do you know what that is?

Hmm?

[Diane] During my date with Gregory Dillard

I immediately noticed he shuffled into the pub with hunched shoulders

and lowered head,

as if he doesn't wanna be seen by the world,

like a paedo in a playground.

-I get that. -What do you mean you get that?

[Diane] And during our conversation,

the subject told me he was so lonely

he sometimes orders things from Amazon

just so he can see humans every weekend.

Actually here I've written

"my vagina feels as dry as a camel's arse".

This is good. Thank you so much, Diane.

I mean, everything you are saying completely chimes with my own findings.

Which are?

Since his divorce, Greg has become so scared of rejection

that to protect himself from it, he has made himself hideous.

-[Diane] Hmm. Yeah, I concur. -I object!

-Overruled. -Hmm.

Also, I think all this repression is actually making Gregory dangerous.

During our date on Friday he kissed me

without me giving him any sexual signals.

You asked me to have intercourse with you!

Yeah. As a test.

-Hmm. -What kind of test would that be?

He came at me with such terrifying lust

I was forced to pepper spray him.

-Seriously? -Why do you think I came home in tears?

I thought you were like that after every date.

[harmonica music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Look who's here!

Hello son.

You look well.

So do you.

-A month. -She's clean!

As a whistle.

Good for you mum.

Weird how it happened.

I was buying gift from this kid and he handed me a leaflet

for one of them drug support groups.

Gotta start listening when even your dealer's worried about you, eh?

-So, I wanna move back in with mum. -No.

Why not? She's better now.

Look I'm proper glad you're better and that,

but we both know one month's just not a long time.

One day at a time, son.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Esme, go and get ready for school please.

-I got ages. -Es.

Please go and get ready for school.

D'you know she's got a boyfriend now?

-Of course. -[Jacqui] Missy's all grown up.

Still my little girl though.

It's good to see you.

Congratulations on the coin.

I hope it all works out.

[soft dramatic music playing]

Goodbye, mum.

He's not my legal guardian anymore.

So, I can move in with you if I want to.

I can do what I want.

Your brother only wants the best for you.

You feel like a big man now?

[door closes]

What in God's name are you doing, Frank?

Ironing.

Well, how'd you learn to do that?

Tom showed me a video on the internet.

I'm gonna mow the lawn next.

Well, who are you and what have you done with my father?

-[doorbell dings] -[Tom] I'll get it.

It's sort of like making a pizza.

Is it?

How's your mum doing?

Oh, she's much better.

They think that she had an adverse reaction to some medication.

She's back in the home now.

That's good.

We should visit again.

I'd appreciate that, thank you.

[Tom] Grandpa, there's someone at the door for you.

Alright.

Oh.

What's tickin', chicken?

Don't call me chicken.

There's this woman, Claire,

she's my second-in-command at the BJC.

Now that we've got our little situation under control,

she's started snooping around in our finances.

-Why? -She'll do anything to bring me down.

That is, unless I can bring her down first.

Is that something you could help with?

Are you sure you wanna start throwing innocent folks under the bus?

Claire isn't innocent.

She's trying to take control of my group!

If I have to choose between Claire and the BJC, I choose the BJC.

You sound like Stalin before the purges.

Do you wanna join me in jail

if she on carries on digging?

You and your second-in-command.

You both have BJC credit cards for expenses and whatnot?

Yeah.

Good.

We'll run the old Windy City Railroad on her.

I need you to...

send her on a coffee run.

Okay! So, let's imagine this is a really hip cocktail bar and...

Greg, let me see you walk in!

You're right, he does walk like he's on the sex offenders register.

Yup.

What?

You know it's my sight that's bad, not my hearing?

Let's try again. Okay, turn around.

Right, chin up. Shoulders back. Walk.

You're too stiff, swing your arms.

You look like a chimp.

Put your thumbs in your belt.

Okay. Now,

lead with your crotch.

Yeah. Too much! Dial it back, dial it back.

Now add a bit of swagger.

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Easy there cowboy.

Okay, it's good enough.

Okay, imagine Diane,

she's back in the pub and she's doing a crossword.

Your date never happened,

and then you walk over and chat her up.

Yup. Come on lean, Greg, lean,

Let me see some leaning.

That's it, yes.

Yes, that's it Greg.

And ask her out.

-How? -Say something off the cuff and flirty.

Apparently, eight across is what's your number?.

-Oh, really? That's interesting. -Yeah?

'Cause six down is fuck off, weirdo!

Would that happen?

It just happened Greg. Roll with it.

Hello?

Hello is that Lady Gabby?

This is Claire from the Bristol Justice Collective.

Oh, hi! How can I help?

Have you heard of something called

Laycock Logistical Services?

Er, no. Should I have?

Forgive me being so direct but can I ask why you chose

to donate a hundred thousand pounds to the BJC?

-I did what now? -Don't think we're ungrateful.

Thanks to you we didn't have to rely on a council grant,

and we love our new office.

I didn't donate a hundred thousand pounds.

I realise you've asked to remain anonymous but I know it was you.

Sorry, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

My lawyer Greg handles the money matters.

Why are you asking all of this?

Because I think we could be the victims of money laundering.

[indistinct chatter]

[Claire] You still there?

Let me look into it.

That wasn't flirting, you just shot me in the face!

[dramatic music playing]

[Ruth] So, how does it feel?

Letting John fly the coop.

[John Senior] Well, it may not seem this way now but...

what I did will eventually be viewed as a great kindness.

-What do you mean? -He means, erm...

he means letting me leave without a fight, don't you dad?

Right.

[Ruth] I always thought you'd pressed him into a kind of indentured servitude

so I was surprised when you let him have his freedom.

Girls, did I hear something about a trifle?

[Ruth] Yes!

You can come and help me put the sprinkles on the trifle.

This is daddy's favourite, isn't it?

So, you didn't tell her how it went down, did you?

Look, if you wanna dress things up for the sake of your marriage,

-I understand. -What are you doing here, Dad?

[scoffs] I'm at lunch, what does it look like?

Yeah.

-Just thought you'd pop in for lunch? -Yeah, like I always do.

See you and Ruth and the grandkids.

You fired me!

Like I said, it's nothing personal, it's only business.

Business... You are ruining me, do you know that?

You have to be able to compartmentalise things, boy.

Work and family are two different things.

We're family, always will be.

-Here we are. -Hey.

Oh, my goodness!

-[Ruth chuckles] -That is delicious!

Son?

Is that not delicious, son?

It's whatever you say it is, Dad.

-I'll get some bowls. -Yeah.

Can I get six flat whites with oat milk,

two mint teas and a masala chai for me.

No worries, coming up.

You're one thirsty lady!

I drew the short straw for the coffee run.

[breathes heavily]

-Are you okay? -I'll be okay, I'm fine.

Thank you.

Low blood sugar.

Thank you.

[Spencer] I said to the bloke, "What is your problem,

Nadger did a shit out of the window".

Anyway, long story short my Uber rating is down to a 4.3, so...

Oh, hold on chap, posh trim alert.

Your Ladyship! How lovely to see you.

I'm afraid Greg's not here at the moment.

I know, it's you I wanted to see.

Fuck off, chap.

-How can I help your Ladyship? -I'd like to see my client account.

Nay problemo.

Erm, I know you say you're a lesbian,

and I am totally on board with that,

but would you ever consider

trying it with a bloke... oh, here we go!

[Gabby] Can you see if I've made any large donations

to something called the BJC?

Erm, yes a very sizeable amount several months ago.

And Laycock Logistical Services.

Again, a number of large amounts.

In fact, you have one such payment going out today.

Freeze all payments this instant.

-What? -Just do it.

Who authorised these payments?

[Spencer] Er, Greg. Why?

What's going on?

I need a drink. Wanna go and grab a drink?

Does a rocking horse have a wooden cock?

[laughs]

Yeah, I would absolutely--sorry!

Apres-vous.

How much is that ting though?

[indistinct chatter]

Oh shit, you lot stay there.

Yo!

One sec, one sec, one sec...

-See you later. -Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

All right. Get some rest, I'll take over.

[indistinct chatter]

Margie, you ever start thinking about doing a big old lobster dinner?

Hmm, no, I've never had lobster.

You never had lobster? Why?

Well, I'm a single mum, not Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Well, tonight I'm taking you to dinner.

A little fish restaurant I've had my eye on.

It's Wednesday, we can't go to a restaurant, I've got a wash on.

Table for four, seven o'clock, it's already booked.

Young Tom, throw on a necktie.

It's a high-class joint.

Dad, is this some sort of last supper thing?

Have you got test results you need to tell me?

I'm fit as a fiddle.

I just wanna treat my family to the finer things.

Make up for lost time.

-I totally wanna try lobster. -Yeah!

I totally want to eat a lobster.

Of course you do!

Come on!

Margie, put your best dress on.

Let your old man treat ya.

Lobster.

Lemon. Mm!

[exhales]

[Shanti] Here we go.

So, Yamani wants to leave her husband.

-Really? -Yeah!

Last weekend at book group she told us that she would leave Raj

for Benedict Cumberbatch at the drop of a hat.

Her words!

That doesn't mean she's gonna leave her husband.

That's like me saying I'd leave Ben for Michael B. Jordan

-or dad saying he'd leave you for-- -Dame Helen Mirren.

[Rani] Celebrity crushes don't mean anything.

I also fancy Dame Helen Mirren.

Oh no, Ben's leaving me, for a national treasure!

[laughter]

You're all idiots.

-Have you done a business plan? -What?

For your food stall in Weston.

Rani's sorting that.

Yeah, it's all in my head I just need to get it down on paper.

[Shanti] Well, I could help you with that.

Your mother and I have been talking.

We have some money put aside for when Rani went to university

but, uh, as it's not happening...

We would like to help both of you with the food stall.

Really?

-Uh-hmm. -[Jerzy] Uh-hmm.

Thank you! Thank you so much!

-Thank you! -Thank you!

-Thank you! -Pleasure!

Pleasure, pleasure.

Hello?

[The Dean] Time's up.

Where's my money?

We transferred the last of the money to you.

-[The Dean] No, you're ten thousand short. -What?

Deadline's today and I told you if you missed it,

I start hurting people you love.

You want cream or custard on your rhubarb crumble?

[Rani] I'll have custard, mum.

You're having dinner with your mum and dad?

-[Rani] Yeah. -Uh-hmm. That's lovely.

My mum and dad have passed on.

It's really important to treasure your time with your mum and dad

'cause they'll be gone one day.

Like tomorrow, if I don't get the rest of my fucking money.

Your dad and Ben are having both cream and custard.

-Mum! I'm on the phone. -Well, a simple yes or no.

-Yes! I'll have both. -Okay fine.

I don't understand what's happened.

Maybe there was some sort of problem with the shell company.

Not my concern. A deadline's a deadline.

I'm gonna need more time to figure out what happened.

[The Dean] I warned you.

No extensions, no negotiations.

You have 'til tomorrow morning or you and I will both be orphans.

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you... ♪

Your crumbles getting cold.

[The Dean] ♪ Happy birthday day... ♪

What's wrong?

[John] How is this happening?

How is this happening?

Why didn't you transfer the money?

I did but Gabby stopped it and froze her account.

-Unfreeze it! -Only she can do that.

Then find her, you lanky bastard.

I dunno where she is and she's not answering her phone!

We were done.

-We were done! -[Myrna] Right.

We're just gonna have to ask for a bit more time.

[Rani] This isn't asking a teacher for an extension for an essay.

-He said he'd kill my parents! -Okay! Right.

How do we make ten thousand pounds by tomorrow?

[Rani] We could... hold up a bank?

-We're not holding up a bank. -We could hold up...

-a petrol station! -We're not holding up anything!

We could kidnap somebody rich.

Gabby's dad's loaded.

We could kidnap Gabby and then threaten to cut off her fingers every hour.

Okay, let's calm down all right?

We're not in the Yakuza.

And, we'd run out of fingers before her father paid a penny.

Oh! Tony Robinson from Blackadder lives locally.

-Is he rich? -He's a white male actor.

-We're not kidnapping Baldrick! -We're not kidnapping anyone!

[Rani] Do you have a better idea?

Pressure selling!

-What's pressure selling? -Huh?

-Pressure selling? -Yeah? What about it.

-You brought it up! -No, I didn't!

-Yes, you did! -You just mentioned pressure selling,

-as a way to make fast sales? -Yes!

We need to approach our client list with a time limit.

That's what we need to do.

Bulk offers, okay?

And persistence closing.

That's what we need to do.

We don't let them go anywhere until they have bought fast

and they have bought in bulk.

I mean it's a form of bullying but--

[Greg] Well you'd know something about bullying calling me a lanky bastard.

Look in the mirror once in a while.

Who's a lanky bastard?

You just said I was a lanky bastard.

What did you say?

[soft jazz playing]

I won't even be able to go back to tuna in a can.

You want another lobster. I can tell.

Do people have two in a row?

One time in Maine, I ate five...

-[laughs] -For a bet, which I lost.

[chuckles] How many did the other guy have?

I'm not sure, I was wheeled out with butter poisoning.

[laughs]

I might get a coffee.

-Oh! -Madam?

[Frank] Masala Chai.

You have to try a cup.

Nothing washes down shellfish better.

Okay, can we get two Masala Chais please?

[upbeat music playing]

What's up? It's Lady G!

Live from Bar Revelation which is appropriate and...

I'm thinking about telling you a secret.

[snorts]

[phone rings]

[upbeat music playing]

[phone vibrates]

[John] Yes, yes, but we are about to close up shop soon

and I would hate for you to get to the weekend,

not get your hands on a nice, strong macchiato.

What if you find yourself real thirsty after we close?

Okay, fine then hang up.

Still there, are we?

'Cause you know a great offer when you hear one but this offer must end midnight.

[Myrna] If I were you I would stock up for the holidays.

Christmas. Easter.

Half term. Take your pick!

[Greg] Oh, God! Oh, God, Oh God!

[Gabby] You might think that he was a, you know, nice sweet nerd.

-But he isn't. -[Spencer] No.

[Gabby] And this is a story of discovery

but also of betrayal, and I'm not sure if I should tell it

because if I do then, well, he won't have a flat mate anymore,

he will have a cell mate.

-[Spencer] Oh! -[Gabby] Yeah.

[Spencer] Shots fired!

-Is that live? -Very.

Does she know about the money laundering?

Dunno.

I bet Claire's told her something.

She is trying to take the BJC away from me.

She's not even from Bristol!

She's bloody Scottish!

Bloody foreigners.

Coming over here, stealing our black civil rights groups, eh?

[whisper] Focus.

You better find Gabby and stop her talking.

Go!

[tense music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Haines] Business is booming, all of a sudden.

[indistinct chatter]

[snorts]

[Spencer] Oh, is any of that going spare?

[Gabby] I'm back, unleashed.

You know what? You shouldn't trust anyone.

Don't-- don't--

don't trust your-- your family, don't trust your friends,

and don't trust lawyers called Greg Dillard.

[Spencer] Yeah. And d'you know what? He's a fucking creep actually!

I went on his internet search history once just for fun and he'd searched

"Viagra, how much is too much?"

People need to know that they can't break my heart anymore, don't they?

I mean, really?

Let me know in the comments if you think I should--

I should tell my story.

Did she say Greg Dillard?

-Mm-hmm. -What is that?

[Selforth] Remember Lady Gabby?

Her live feed just popped up.

She's on a massive bender,

blabbering on about a massive criminal conspiracy.

What a hot mess.

-Bring her in. -Huh?

[Haines] Remember that kid who was in for armed robbery

-we thought he had drug ties? -Yeah.

Well, the lawyer who magically showed up to take his case.

Was Greg Dillard!

The same lawyer we saw in court defending Christian Taylor.

The same lawyer who's doing CS at Bennysfield.

Go.

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, I'm putting you down for three flat whites

and an expresso martini.

And we're offering you this at a reduced price if you buy in bulk.

Well then throw a party!

You'll be Mr Popular!

All right, cool.

[Margaret] What are you gonna say to Granddad?

Thank you for my lobster.

Thanks for my lobster.

Yeah. Thank you, dad, for a lovely evening.

Oh, sure.

And this is...

Masala Chai.

Cardamom.

Cinnamon.

Cloves.

Delicious.

Mmm.

Smell that.

[spits]

I'd like to pay with this, please.

[cashier] Of course.

[tense music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[knocks on window]

Sir, where are you going?

Inside?

My friends are all expecting me.

Nah, you're not coming in here.

Why not?

'Cause the people we want in here look like they're gonna provide glamour,

not IT support.

Step aside mate.

All right.

Gabby!

Mate, step away from the glass before I put your head through it!

Seriously, no!

Now move! Come on!

I'm going!

[laughter]

I could laugh at you if I want.

[tense music playing]

Gabby!

[engine revving]

Cool. I'll send someone to you now.

Ah, but this is a one-time deal.

Yeah, only for our most valued customers.

You absolutely are, madam.

Yes, both you and your grandson.

[chuckles]

All right, so shall we say your usual?

Oh yeah!

We've got our own dedicated delivery team.

[tense music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[knocks on door]

Karmacoma, Jamaica, and Roma.

[women laughing]

Hiya!

[doorman] What?

Can I come in please?

[doorman] Password?

Is it my mother's maiden name?

[playful music playing]

[grunting]

[funky saxophone playing]

Jesus!

[dominatrix] Woo!

Don't mind me, I'm just passing through.

-Greg? -Yeah?

It's Rosie!

I was giving you a blowie when you reversed into that police car!

Oh, right, yeah!

How's it going?

Yeah, yeah, mustn't grumble.

-Keeping busy. -[chuckles]

What happened that night with you, after?

'Cause I just got off with a warning.

-Did ya? -[Rosie] Yeah.

Yeah, I got, erm, a hundred-and-twenty hours of community service.

-Oh no. -Yeah.

How did it go?

Not great, if I'm honest.

I ended up getting blackmailed

and now I'm in hock to a ruthless London drug dealer.

I'm sorry to hear that.

[gimp] Oi!

I'm sorry to break up this little reunion

but I'm paying by the hour here, mate!

Shut up, you little bitch!

-[gimp] Yes, mistress. -Eh, listen.

I'm done here in 20 minutes if you want anything doing.

We could finish that blowie that you never got?

[chuckles]

That's very good of you but, no,

I can't actually 'cause I gotta quickly

try and find one of my other clients before she, erm, sends me to jail.

Oh! You have been a bad boy.

-[clears throat] -Anyway, lovely to see you.

-It's been good to see you. -Yeah.

Thank you so much and sorry for interrupting you.

Okay.

[whoops]

You've been a bad boy!

Oh, yes, you have!

[slow music playing]

Ooh!

Evening.

I don't suppose you've got a member of the landed gentry in here, have you?

Ow!

So many whips!

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

Gabby?!

Gabby?!

[upbeat music playing]

Gabby?!

Gabby!

Judas!

Can we speak in private, please?

Anything you have to say,

you can say in front of my real friends here.

There's a policeman here.

Good! Good.

I have things to say to him.

Just let me explain first.

It's too late for explaining.

Just hear me out.

And if you still wanna turn me in,

I won't stop you.

Please?

Police.

Has anyone seen Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe?

Right then, you cheeky little monkeys!

Guess who's brought the goods?

We have got Chang and a lovely bit of MD

Mmm-mmmazing that you are here, detective,

because these are drugs.

Yuck.

Did you find my watch, by the way?

We should get a move on, I think.

I want an explanation, right now.

Shall we do that at home over a cup of tea and a Mr Kipling?

No, explain. What have you been doing?

It's--it's so complicated, Gabby.

Well then un-complicate it, Greg.

I've been using your client account

to launder the proceeds of an illegal drug operation.

Right. That's it, is it?

Yeah.

Cool. Great.

-Great. Shall we go? -No, not great, Greg!

Not cool!

You've been using me to launder...

so when you--when you said...

that everyone else in my life was a mooch

and a hanger-on and I thought

that that meant that you really cared about me, that was bollocks?

No, I do care about you.

-Of course. -How can you say that?

Literally no one in my life has used me more than you.

I know. I'm sorry.

You're my consigliere!

I know you hired me to protect you...

look after you and, er, I betrayed you.

But you have to know I would never deliberately hurt you.

You know, money laundering and exploiting you.

That's not something I would choose to do.

It's not just that you're my lawyer, Greg.

I thought you were my friend.

I am your friend.

I know. I 'm so sorry, Gabby.

I don't even know how I ended up doing this.

All I know is that there's guns, and threats,

and everyone's lives are in danger if I don't do this.

Whose lives?

Who else is involved?

Rani, Ben, Myrna, John, Frank.

I'm the only one who doesn't know about this?

[Greg] Yeah.

[suspenseful music playing]

Yep, all here.

Go on, kids, be on your way.

Police are watching the building!

-What we gonna do?! -Fuck!

We're all fucked!

[suspenseful music playing]

[Myrna] Our humble thanks

for attending Fight Back Bristol.

We'll be back next week

so be sure to tell all of your friends.

And remember,

we will never give up on you

so please don't give up on yourselves.

And if anyone should offer you drugs,

-what do we do? -[kids] Just say no!

[applause]

[man] I'll see you guys later, yeah?

[woman] Yeah, yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Fight Back Bristol?

-What is that? -Grassroots initiative.

People like us with criminal records just trying to ensure

that the kids don't make the same mistakes that we did.

I mean, you can't wait for the system to step in, can you?

So you're all activists now?

Just caring members of the community.

[Haines] You're feeling a deep ideological connection

to the movement, are you?

What's your home address?

[tense music playing]

He lives in Clifton Towns.

He can't speak for himself?

Well, yeah, of course he can.

But if what you're implying is that there's no place

for a white middle class man in this, then you'd be wrong.

-In some ways... -Spare me the lecture.

Please.

[tense music playing]

[Myrna] Are we okay? Everyone okay?

-John, are you okay? -[Rani yelping] That was close! Ha!

-Yeah, way too close. -Definitely way too close! [chuckles]

Oh, come on, you've got to admit it's a bit of a thrill.

We weren't zip-lining, Rani.

[chuckles] Oh, my God! You're so boring!

I don't want to run around with drugs, and guns, and money.

That's different to being boring.

Be careful, Rani.

You know who told me this before?

-Who? -Christian Taylor.

And that's why he's in jail, and I'm not.

Hi, lovelies!

How's the drug dealing going?

You told her?

My mum killed herself when I was six years old.

My dad was never home, so I was just passed

from caretaker to caretaker.

I never really had a real family.

But all of us,

over the past few months, working together,

laughing together,

it's kind of felt like we were a family.

-I'm sorry, Gabby. -We should never have involved you.

I can only imagine how upsetting it must be to wake up

and find yourself embroiled in a criminal conspiracy.

I'm not upset because you've involved me in a criminal conspiracy.

I'm upset because you haven't.

What?

I know everything about drugs!

I've been using them since I was twelve.

I know what's good, I know what's bad, I know the jargon, the prices.

I could help you.

So you're saying you want to be a part of a criminal conspiracy?

Yes!

Now, which one of you is the Mr Big?

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

What happened to you last night?

[groans] I talked my way out of it

but it was so awkward that even the bloke

in the gimp mask couldn't look at me.

Luckily, I managed to get away when an ambulance showed up.

Some pervert got his fist stuck inside someone else.

Did he lose his watch as well?

I need to make a fresh transfer to Laycock Logistical Services.

We froze the account.

Well, now we need to thaw it out

because I've got a lot of logistics that need servicing.

-So, chop chop. -Erm...

[instrumental music playing]

[exhales]

[whispers] We did it.

-[loud exhale] -[chuckles]

[banging on desk]

Ain't you happy?

Yeah. Of course I am.

Tell your face then. [chuckles]

What's eating you?

Nothing.

Well I--

Ben said something,

but it doesn't matter. It's fine.

What did he say?

He said I remind him of you.

What, when you was in the sack? [chuckles]

No! When we were arguing.

I said he was boring,

then he said that...

I'm enjoying this gang shit too much.

Are you?

No!

When me and Ben were just younger's,

olders in our neighbourhood all had cars,

nice jewellery

and cash working for The Dean.

There was easy money to be made running with them.

And on top of that,

the status and respect

and, you know,

the hype gets addictive, right?

Your boy Ben was smart.

He resisted.

Me?

I started in country.

Then started running my own team.

And the whole time I'm thinking this isn't who I am.

I'll just make some quick P's then go back to where I was.

But one day you wake up and it is who you are.

And it's too late to go back to where you was.

And the next thing you know you're wearing the same grey tracksuit

with the same grey socks and the same grey underwear

because they're all washed together.

Spending 23 hours a day in the same four square metre room.

Take it from me.

That's boring.

[upbeat music playing]

Four black americanos,

a Masala Chai,

and a piece of that cake.

[waiter] Right, two seconds.

[Myrna] Morning!

Right, there is a coffee there for you

and a Masala Chai...

[shrieks] Oh!

Oh, shit! I am so sorry!

Let's just get that off of there.

Doesn't matter that it's a bit dry in there.

Sorry about that, I've got more fingers than thumbs today.

-Okay. -[Claire] That's all right.

-Right. Let me get you some more tissues. -Please.

Coffee.

Oh. Right. Tissues, tissues.

[Christian] What was you doing in the house all alone with a boy,

without telling me?

-[Esme] It's my house too! -Oh, it's your house?!

Do you pay bills?!

Do you know what? Furthermore, give me your phone.

-[Esme] Why? -Give me your phone!

I wanna know who the guy is.

-Give me your phone. -[Esme] He's none of your business!

[Christian] It was past midnight on a school night

and you're here chilling with some boy!

[Esme] We were studying.

This is why I wanna live with Mum.

Because she lets me do what I want!

-It's because she's a smack-head! -Not anymore!

She just trusts me.

[kissing teeth] Dickhead.

[sighs]

You have to let her live her own life. Sometimes.

Not yet I don't.

[Rani] She's 16.

-You can't protect her all the time. -Yeah? Well I can try.

My parents tried.

They tried to wrap me up in cotton wool my whole life.

Look how I turned out.

[whispers] I'm a drug dealer.

[deep breath]

Okay. You're not... boring.

You're right.

I was getting hooked on buzz.

Anyway, it...

it's over.

I'm back!

[whisper] I'm sorry.

You were starting to scare me there.

I thought I was sharing the bed with the Godfather.

[chuckles]

About Es.

If things go wrong with your mum,

she knows where to find you.

Myrna? Erm, have you got a minute?

I just found something a bit odd, and I was wondering if you could

help me get to the bottom of it?

Something odd?

Yeah, I was just going through the BJC bank account, you know,

doing the money laundering due diligence and everything,

and I just found this payment

on Claire's company card for 518 pounds?

What?! Let me see.

-[Greg] Is that your card number? -[Claire] Yes

but what's Le Grande Poisson?

I think it means the big fish.

It's, erm, a fancy seafood place in Clifton.

But did you use your BJC card

to pay for a meal in there or anything?

-No, I've never even been there. -No?

Oh, it's probably some kind of mistake.

-Greg, could you call them, please? -On it.

[phone line ringing]

[manager] Le Grand Poisson, how can I help?

Erm, hi. Can I speak to your manager, please?

-This is he. -Hi, my name's Myrna

and I just wanted to check and see if a credit card

was used in your restaurant last night.

It ends in...

[both] 9335

Hold on please.

Someone probably stole your card.

[Claire] No, it's here.

[manager] Yes. That card was used here last night.

[Myrna] Right, erm, can you tell me what it was spent on?

Three dozen oysters, four lobster mains,

a truffle mac n cheese,

two bottles of champagne...

Someone was peckish!

...and two Masala Chais.

Right, so, er, that's your drink, isn't it?

-Yes, but... -[Myrna] Okay, thank you.

[manager] You're welcome.

Claire, if you were in my position

what would you do right now?

This is--

-someone has done this! -Done what?

I don't know. Made it look like...

Claire, it gives me no pleasure to say this

but, while we investigate this matter,

I feel I have to suspend you.

Suspend me?

We need to be whiter-than-white.

[mutters] Erm.

Okay. [clears throat]

Yeah, sure.

[dramatic music playing]

What?

Activism is a fight.

Sometimes you have to fight dirty. What was I supposed to do?

[dramatic music playing]

[door opens]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. You were right.

You know, about giving people second chances.

About forgiveness.

Seriously?

If you ever need anything,

just pick up the phone and I'll come, yeah?

I'll be there.

[dramatic music playing]

Come here.

Thanks, Ben.

[knock on door]

We need to go for a little ride.

[Malaki] You got me anything from the gift shop?

All I've got for you is a deal.

I prefer a muffin.

I know Rani Rekowski and her friends are running your crew.

And I know you're all in bed with The Dean.

Do you know the numbers for this week's EuroMillions?

Co-operate.

Help me collar The Dean,

and I'll get you out of here.

How does that sound?

Like a great episode of Line of Duty.

[laughs]

Do you think it hasn't been noticed by people in here

how many times I've visited you?

Do you know how easy it would be to spread the word around

that you're my favourite informant.

[whispers] How long do you think you'd last after that?

Think about my offer.

[metal door opens]

[tense music playing]

[The Dean exhales]

Evening all!

I have good news

and I have even better news.

The good news is, I have received payment

in full, on time, as you promised.

I'll be honest, I didn't think you'd make it.

And my boys are livid.

They dug ditches out the back for nothing.

Now, onto the even better news.

What's that?

[The Dean] This, my dear,

is ten kilos of pure uncut cocaine

that you are going to shift for me.

No.

-We're done. -[The Dean] No,

you're The Beatles of drug selling.

And I can't break up the band! Don't make me the Yoko,

and think of this as your White Album.

This isn't fair! We did what you asked!

Fair?

You're lucky your parents aren't on TV,

in tears, asking for information

of your fucking whereabouts.

We're not doing it!

-This is over. -[The Dean] This is over

when I say it's over.

And I'm sorry

but it ain't fucking over.

[tense music playing]

It's never gonna stop.

Why would he?

He's onto a good thing.

I cannot deal drugs for the rest of my days.

Obviously, none of us can.

Right, what are we gonna do?!

-We'll kill him. -Sorry, what?!

Any other ideas before we settle on murder?

[Frank] Anyone heard of the Brass Bunkum?

[The Heavy: "Short Change Hero"]

♪ I can't see where you comin' from ♪

♪ But I know just what you runnin' from ♪

♪ And what matters ain't the "who's baddest" ♪

♪ But the ones who stop you fallin' from your ladder ♪

♪ This ain't no place for no hero ♪

♪ This ain't no place for no better man ♪

♪ This ain't no place for no hero ♪

♪ To call home ♪

♪ This ain't no place for no hero ♪

♪ This ain't no place for no better man ♪

♪ This ain't no place for no hero ♪

♪ To call home... ♪