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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:09,280 This programme contains strong language 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,840 DOG BARKS 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,760 FRONT DOOR OPENS 4 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,720 GLASS BOTTLES CLINK 5 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,200 GLASS RATTLES 6 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,160 BOTTLES CLATTER INTO BIN 7 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,360 BIN LID CLOSES 8 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,680 GLASS RATTLES IN BIN 9 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,160 {\an8}BAG RUSTLES 10 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,880 FRONT DOOR OPENS 11 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,960 Ugh. Bloody hell. 12 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,680 SHE TUTS 13 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,640 SHE SIGHS 14 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,080 {\an8}- Morning. - Oh, hiya, Larry. 15 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,080 {\an8}Foxes, is it? 16 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,720 {\an8}Yeah. Either that, or Damon's had the midnight munchies. 17 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,280 {\an8}LARRY'S FRONT DOOR CLOSES 18 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,120 {\an8}I might put poison down, that'd soon stop 'em. 19 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,720 {\an8}Best to use a brick. 20 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,240 - A brick?! - Well, that's what I do. 21 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,320 {\an8}I don't think the animal cruelty people would be too happy with that. 22 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,920 {\an8}No, I mean to put on top of the bin, 23 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,880 {\an8}- so they can't knock it over. - Oh, yeah. 24 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,440 {\an8}- Are you settling in all right? - Not bad. 25 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,680 {\an8}We're still living out of boxes, but we're getting there. 26 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,000 {\an8}Now, Popcorn, you come here! 27 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,000 {\an8}POPCORN WHIMPERS 28 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,840 {\an8}Ooh, he's a beggar for food! 29 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,600 {\an8}SHE LAUGHS 30 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,600 {\an8}Fill your boots, Popcorn! 31 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,400 {\an8}Saves me picking it all up! 32 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,960 {\an8}Anyway, as I say, anything I can do, let me know. 33 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,000 {\an8}Thanks, Larry. 34 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,280 {\an8}- Ah, see you. - Yeah. 35 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,880 {\an8}Come on, you. Mind the road, please. 36 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,560 {\an8}This way. Good boy. 37 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,000 RUSTLING 38 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,280 - They look so false, don't they? - Oh, God, yeah. 39 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,840 One for the winter newsletter, I think! 40 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,320 BOTH CHUCKLE 41 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,360 - Ban plastic now. - OK. 42 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,800 - Ready? - Yeah. 43 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,320 DOORBELL CHIMES 44 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,320 Oooh. 45 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,520 - Are they in? - I think so, I'm not sure. 46 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:39,960 {\an8}- I've never seen them yet. - Right. 47 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,160 {\an8}- Oh, here we are. - We're not stopping, right? - No. 48 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,040 {\an8}DOOR OPENS 49 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,040 {\an8}- Yeah? - Hello. 50 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,360 {\an8}We just thought we'd come over and introduce ourselves. 51 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,240 {\an8}Ken and Sheila from number eight. 52 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,160 {\an8}Oh, hi. Damon. 53 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,560 {\an8}Damian? 54 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,840 {\an8}- No. Damon. - Oh, Damon! 55 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,120 {\an8}Like, er, like, er, like the jam. 56 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,560 {\an8}- That's damson, you dozy sod! - Oh, yes! 57 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,600 {\an8}Ignore him. How are you settling in? 58 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,080 {\an8}Yeah, good, thanks. 59 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,880 {\an8}Still living out of boxes, you know? 60 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,640 {\an8}Yes, we'd noticed a lot of takeaway bikes. 61 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,560 I said to Ken, "She's probably not got her kitchen up together yet." 62 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,640 {\an8}- Yeah, well. - Yeah, well. Anyway... 63 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,880 {\an8}- Yeah. - There's a cauliflower quiche in there for you. 64 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,840 {\an8}- Oh! Thank you. - Enjoy. - Very kind. 65 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,720 {\an8}Probably healthier than all those curries and whatnot! 66 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,200 {\an8}DAMON CLEARS HIS THROAT 67 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,720 {\an8}It's, er, it's Valerie, your wife, isn't it? 68 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,920 {\an8}Yeah, Val, yeah. She's at work at the moment. 69 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,240 {\an8}Yeah, we've seen her driving off every morning. 70 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,240 {\an8}Not had a chance to say hello yet. 71 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,840 {\an8}How do you find the Peugeot? I've heard mixed reports. 72 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,800 {\an8}Yeah, it's fine as a runaround, 73 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,720 {\an8}but looking to get an electric next. 74 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,400 {\an8}Oof, good luck! 75 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,400 {\an8}HE CHUCKLES 76 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,680 {\an8}Tricky customers if they break down, I believe. 77 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,080 {\an8}They run off an iPad, don't they? 78 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,160 {\an8}I'm learning to drive at the moment, 79 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,280 {\an8}but Ken won't take me out in our car. 80 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,760 {\an8}Well, we've got a Volvo estate, Damon, can you blame me?! 81 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,280 {\an8}Well, how am I supposed to practise, then?! 82 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,320 {\an8}SHE LAUGHS 83 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,320 {\an8}Well... 84 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,560 {\an8}Anyway, tell Val to pop round for a cuppa whenever she wants. 85 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,800 {\an8}- Hmm, yeah. - And when you're all settled in, well, we'll, er... 86 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,000 {\an8}Well, we'll have some supper. 87 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,800 {\an8}..we'll have to have you round for some supper, yeah. 88 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,960 {\an8}Yeah, lovely. Thank you. 89 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,840 {\an8}- And, er, just a little tip. - Yeah? 90 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,720 {\an8}I noticed you'd got some boxes out for recycling. 91 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,080 {\an8}But you have to break it down and put it in the bin 92 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,080 {\an8}with the lid fully closed, otherwise they won't take it. 93 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,200 {\an8}Oh, OK. Well, they did actually take it, so... 94 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,480 {\an8}- Yeah, well, just for future reference. - Right. 95 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,960 {\an8}Bring the Tupperware back whenever, no need to wash it. 96 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,760 {\an8}Thanks, Sheila, very kind. Nice to meet you. 97 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,120 {\an8}- Nice to meet you, too. - Bye. 98 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,640 {\an8}Take care. 99 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,640 {\an8}DOOR CLOSES 100 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,800 - Oof! - Well! 101 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,480 - Were those pyjama bottoms? - I've got no idea. 102 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,800 REVVING 103 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,520 TYRES SCREECH 104 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,240 GEARS CRUNCH 105 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,920 TYRES SKID 106 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,080 HORN BLASTS 107 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,400 MUSIC BLARES 108 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,400 Turn that down, please! 109 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,000 Why do you keep turning it down? 110 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,640 Because it's too loud! I can't hear the telly. 111 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,960 You've never liked my taste in music, we know that. 112 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,520 Yeah, well, you're not at the Hacienda now, you know?! 113 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,760 INDISTINCT ARGUING CONTINUES 114 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,360 Oh, hey, here she comes, I told you. 115 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,880 Oh, don't worry. 116 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,440 Probably just lost her broomstick. 117 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,840 VAL CHUCKLES 118 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,840 Yeah. 119 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,760 - Hiya, Sheila. - Hello! My goodness! 120 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,720 You're a pair of busy bees, aren't you? 121 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,120 Yeah, we love Halloween, we always make a big thing of it. 122 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,360 So I can see. 123 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,360 You won't be doing any more than this, though, will you? 124 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,640 How do you mean? 125 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,160 Well, we don't want to attract the, er, mischief-makers 126 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,720 from the estate, do we? 127 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,400 Oh, they're only kids. 128 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,360 Yeah, I-I know, but as you can see, 129 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,360 nobody else really indulges it on the close. 130 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,400 Well, if you can grin and bear it for a couple of days, 131 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,560 it doesn't last long. 132 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,000 It's just a bit of fun, isn't it? 133 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,680 Oh, yeah, I'm not saying that. 134 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,440 Ken and I like fun, we love fun. 135 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,400 We went to crazy golf at the weekend. 136 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,960 - Nice! - Yeah. 137 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,040 Well, I was just thinking about you, Val, 138 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,280 we don't want you attracting undesirables. 139 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,840 Oh, no, don't worry, Humphrey will scare 'em off. 140 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,040 - Humphrey? - Humphrey Bone-gart! 141 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,760 HE CHUCKLES 142 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,760 Oh. 143 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,400 Ha-a-appy Halloween! 144 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,400 VAL AND DAMON LAUGH 145 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,760 Will we be seeing you and Kenny at the Stag later? 146 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,280 They're having a fancy-dress do. 147 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,600 No, I don't think so. 148 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,280 It's Michael Ball's Who Do You Think You Are? tonight, 149 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,000 and we've been looking forward to it. 150 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,160 We once met him on a cruise, you know, 151 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,880 and we've been following his career ever since, so... 152 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,800 Well, I hope you have a good time. The three of you. 153 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,520 Oh, no, Humphrey's... He's not coming. 154 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,560 He's got NO BODY to go with! 155 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,560 VAL AND DAMON LAUGH 156 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,880 I see. 157 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,800 - Well, have a pleasant evening. - Yeah. And you. 158 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,440 HUMPHREY LAUGHS 159 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,360 Michael Ball. Fucking hell. 160 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,200 DOORBELL CHIMES 161 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,160 Hello? 162 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,040 Can you let me in? 163 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,040 HE SIGHS 164 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,640 Where's your key? 165 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,920 - PATS POCKETS - I don't know. In my other jacket. 166 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,200 You're a fucking joke, Damon. D'you know that? 167 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,920 Yeah. 168 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,080 HE SIGHS 169 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,800 Sorry. 170 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,160 FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS 171 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,920 DOOR OPENS 172 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,920 Thank you, love. 173 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:45,880 INDISTINCT ARGUING INSIDE 174 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,760 - I was... - No, because you spilt it down the stairs. 175 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,000 I haven't spilt it. 176 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,080 If you'd have stayed with me in the pub... 177 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,360 Why didn't you stay, Val? 178 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,600 Because you get too drunk. And then you get aggressive. 179 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,520 Ah, aggressive! What you talking about?! 180 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,480 - Look at you now! - You talking about? 181 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,720 - Look at you now. - Back! 182 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,120 - Is that what do you think? - Oh, get your...out my way. 183 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,040 Ah, piss off. 184 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,040 MILK BOTTLES CLINK 185 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,640 INDISTINCT ARGUING 186 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,800 No, you better not, I've just bought that. 187 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,840 - No, fuck off. - You fuck off! 188 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,680 - No, you fuck off. - What are you...? 189 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,480 Get away from it! Get out! 190 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,520 Go! THUDDING ON STAIRS 191 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,320 THUD AGAINST DOOR 192 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,360 POPCORN PANTS 193 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,080 Pop up here. 194 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,480 DOORBELL CHIMES 195 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,800 DOORBELL CHIMES 196 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,600 Hiya, Larry! 197 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,680 Oh, hi, Kenny. You all right? 198 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,000 Yeah, not bad. 199 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,040 Sheila's costing me an arm and a leg with these 200 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,280 bloody driving lessons, but... 201 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,280 HE CHUCKLES 202 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,320 When's the test? 203 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,720 Oh, it won't be for ages yet. She's failed it twice. 204 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,480 Hello! Hello! 205 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:07,600 Hey, have you heard any funny noises coming from in there? 206 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,840 - How do you mean? - They've been banging about, 207 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,600 doing DIY and God knows what at all hours. 208 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,040 Oh, no, that's not on. Have you said something? 209 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,080 I've just tried, but there's no-one in. 210 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,720 Right. I'd speak to the wife, if I were you. 211 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,400 She seems like the reasonable one. 212 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,160 - He's always half-cut. - I will. 213 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,000 All right, good luck. See you later, pal. 214 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,520 Ah, see you, Kenny. 215 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,680 Come on, then. 216 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,680 CREAKING AND SHUFFLING 217 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,680 THUD 218 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,480 SCRAPING 219 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,960 RATTLING 220 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,400 THUDDING 221 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,200 HE GRUNTS 222 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,120 SUITCASE THUDS 223 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,960 DOORBELL CHIMES 224 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,600 {\an8}DOOR OPENS 225 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,760 {\an8}Oh... Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you? 226 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,640 {\an8}No, just had a bit of a late night. 227 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:06,960 {\an8}What do you want now? 228 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,480 {\an8}I just wondered if you'd finished with my Tupperware? 229 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,000 {\an8}What Tupperware? 230 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,960 {\an8}You remember I brought you that quiche round, 231 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,200 {\an8}just after you'd moved in? 232 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,040 {\an8}And I know I said bring it back when you're ready, 233 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,840 {\an8}but it's been a while, and I do like to do a bake 234 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,520 {\an8}for the old folks in the home up the road. 235 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,320 {\an8}- I don't know where it is. - Oh. 236 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,080 {\an8}Well, maybe Valerie does - is she in? 237 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,480 {\an8}Not at the moment. 238 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,880 {\an8}Oh. 239 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,160 {\an8}We haven't seen her for ages. How is she? 240 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,360 {\an8}- She's fine. - Good. 241 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,920 {\an8}Well, send her my best wishes. 242 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,200 {\an8}If you like, I could just bob in and have a rootle round, 243 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,840 {\an8}I've probably got a good idea where she's put it... 244 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,760 I am in the middle of something at the moment, 245 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,480 so it's not convenient. 246 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,640 But if I find it, I'll bring it round. 247 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,160 Lovely. 248 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,120 Just pop it in the porch if we're not in. 249 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,360 All right. 250 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,560 Toodle-pip. 251 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,480 - Love to Val. - Yeah. 252 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,160 DOOR SLAMS 253 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,160 DOOR CLOSES 254 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,000 CAR DOOR CLOSES 255 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,040 ENGINE STARTS 256 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,720 - Have you got the key? - Yeah. 257 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,800 Are you sure we should be doing this, though? 258 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,400 Well, you said yourself, there's been something fishy going on - 259 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,000 all that banging and shouting. 260 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,720 Bloody footprints on the drive. 261 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,480 It doesn't mean he's murdered her! 262 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,000 And it doesn't mean he hasn't. 263 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,720 What's the point of having a Neighbourhood Watch 264 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,680 - if we're not watching out for each other? - Yeah. 265 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,680 - Right, everybody, gloves on. - Oh, yeah. 266 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,400 Larry, what are they supposed to be? 267 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,600 Well, it's all I've got. 268 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,800 Oh, well, you'll have to stand watch, then. 269 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,040 - Right, give me the key. - Oh. 270 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,480 KEYS JANGLE 271 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,480 Thank you. 272 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,000 OK... 273 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,560 LOCK RATTLES 274 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,360 It's not working! 275 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,000 Are you sure it's the right one? 276 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,640 Yes! The Bensons gave it t'me, I've had it years. 277 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,520 I used to go in and feed their cat. 278 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,600 - Let me have a go. - OK. 279 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,840 Oh, no, it's not even going in. 280 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,040 They must've changed the locks. Blither. 281 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,200 Right, well, why don't we just see if we can see anything 282 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,320 through the windows? 283 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,800 {\an8}What are we looking for, exactly? 284 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,560 {\an8}Well, anything out of the ordinary. 285 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,640 {\an8}- Signs of struggle. - Yeah. 286 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,240 {\an8}In my mind, he's chopped her up in the bath, and then 287 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,120 {\an8}he's put her in them suitcases. 288 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,880 {\an8}They seemed like such a nice couple, as well. 289 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,920 {\an8}Oh, look, up there. Bedroom window's open. 290 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,760 {\an8}- Kenny, fetch the ladders. - Oh, you're joking, aren't you?! 291 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,440 {\an8}They're right at the back of the shed! 292 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,480 {\an8}Just go and get 'em! 293 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,400 {\an8}She might be lying up there half-conscious, for all we know. 294 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:00,840 THEY SIGH 295 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,040 {\an8}I've got it all logged, you know? 296 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,480 {\an8}Watching his every move, all his comings and goings. 297 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,680 {\an8}- I've been taking notes. - What for? 298 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,400 {\an8}Well, if this turns out to be real and he really has murdered her, 299 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,240 {\an8}we'll have to turn it over, won't we? 300 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,560 {\an8}What, to the police? 301 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,080 {\an8}No - to Netflix. 302 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,320 {\an8}They might make one of those documentaries about it. 303 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,280 {\an8}- Do you think so? - Yeah, well why not? 304 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,960 {\an8}The Mulberry Close Murders. 305 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,160 {\an8}Murders...? Has he done more than one? 306 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,760 {\an8}Well, we don't know, do we? 307 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,600 {\an8}People get up to all sorts. 308 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,880 {\an8}I'd have my face pixelated, I think, 309 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,200 {\an8}I don't want people staring at me in Waitrose. 310 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,760 {\an8}Can I be me in it? 311 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,240 {\an8}Yeah. 312 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,600 {\an8}- Ohh. - I don't see why not. 313 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,600 {\an8}Oh, what's that one for? 314 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,280 {\an8}That's the back door. 315 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,240 {\an8}Maybe they didn't change that one! 316 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,720 {\an8}Right, well, you keep lookout, I'll go and check. 317 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,920 DOG BARKS 318 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,800 It's all right, Popcorn, 319 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,080 I'll be back in a minute! 320 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,160 Larry, it works. I'm going in. 321 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,160 OK, roger that. 322 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,160 DOOR OPENS 323 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,680 POPCORN BARKS 324 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,560 Be quiet, Popcorn! 325 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,560 Oh, you'll wake the whole bloomin' close up! 326 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,680 ENGINE STOPS 327 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,800 CAR DOOR OPENS 328 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,440 CAR DOOR CLOSES 329 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,400 LOCK RATTLES 330 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,760 DOOR OPENS 331 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,360 DOOR CLOSES 332 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,080 - Larry, where are you? - I'm here! 333 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,000 - Popcorn was barking. - He's come back! 334 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,640 What are you doing up there? Be careful, you'll fall. 335 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,320 Drag me that bin over. 336 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,120 CLATTER 337 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,320 Not that one, the other one! 338 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,960 I need to climb down! 339 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,680 THUDDING 340 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,400 CLATTERING 341 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,160 DOOR OPENS 342 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,160 Larry? 343 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,880 Hello, Damon! 344 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,720 What you doing, Larry? 345 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,680 Er... 346 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,240 Well, I... 347 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,280 Oh! Y-You'll know this - 348 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,320 is it the recycling this week, or next? 349 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,320 I-I can never remember. 350 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,280 Next Monday. 351 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,000 Of course! Yes. 352 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,040 I-I'll, er, put this back for you, then. 353 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,520 Just trying to be neighbourly. 354 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,160 GLASS CLINKS 355 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,280 Hiya, Damon! Hiya, Larry! 356 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,560 Hi-i-i... 357 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,680 I, erm, I just wondered if you wanted your gutters clearing? 358 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,200 I've just done mine, and I thought, 359 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,840 while I've got the ladder out... 360 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,760 Well, you... You can do mine if you like? 361 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,200 It's nearly midnight. Why would I want my gut... 362 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,480 Don't turn round! It's just, 363 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,280 there's a massive spider dangling above your head. 364 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,720 Now, hang still. 365 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,640 WINDOW CLOSES 366 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,640 That's it. 367 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,160 Yeah, she's gone now - you can turn round if you want. 368 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,120 DAMON SIGHS 369 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,120 So, are you off out, Damon? 370 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,040 Yes, well, I'm going to get the... fill the car. 371 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,000 Forgot my wallet - if it's any business of yours. 372 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,680 Right, well, drive safe. 373 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,680 CAR DOOR CLOSES 374 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,400 ENGINE STARTS 375 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,400 Oh, yes, have a good night. 376 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,440 ENGINE REVS 377 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,160 Oh... 378 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,640 I think we got away with that. 379 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,080 RINGING TONE 380 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,560 ANSWERPHONE BEEPS 381 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,560 Hi, Val, it's me. 382 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,360 I'm just checking you're still coming back tomorrow. 383 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,320 I've not heard from you in a couple of days. 384 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,680 I'm sorry about what happened the other night. 385 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,880 It was a stupid thing to do. 386 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,600 I overreacted. 387 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,960 {\an8}Anyway, it's all cleaned up now, 388 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,600 {\an8}so I look forward to seeing you later. 389 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,880 {\an8}There's still some of that horrible cauliflower quiche 390 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,280 {\an8}in the freezer, if you fancy that? 391 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,120 {\an8}Anyway, I'll see you soon. 392 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,200 {\an8}I love you. 393 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,600 VACUUM CLEANER WHIRS 394 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,320 ENGINE STOPS 395 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,960 CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 396 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,680 I'm glad you're taking such an interest in my every movement, 397 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,440 - Kenny, thanks for that. - Eh? 398 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,080 You know what I'm talking about. 399 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,440 I've just had a visit from a community police officer 400 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,920 - at my place of work. - What's that got to do with me?! 401 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,400 Don't come the innocent! I know full well it was you! 402 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,520 And I'm here to tell you that it stops now! 403 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,800 Give over! What you playing at? 404 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,480 Er, excuse me, Damon, 405 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,560 you don't get to speak to my husband like that! 406 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,600 - He's got a pacemaker. - Oh, has he? 407 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,080 Yes, and he can't be around any stressful situations. 408 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,800 Well, you just keep your nose out of my business, then! 409 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,480 Ah, Sheila, don't... 410 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,480 Listen, Damon, I don't know what you think's been going on here... 411 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,440 You're always making up excuses to come round and spy on us. 412 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,480 - What?! - "Ooh, have you got a recipe for banana bread? 413 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,880 "Can we check the water pressure in your bathroom?" 414 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,120 Yeah, that's just because I wanted to compare - 415 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:16,240 we only get a dribble. 416 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,600 And I know you've been creeping round every time I go out. 417 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,560 - I beg your pardon?! - I've got divots in my back garden 418 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,400 from your heels, Sheila! 419 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,760 It should be me calling the police on you! 420 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,440 What's with this shouting? Is everything all right? 421 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,800 He's gone round the twist! 422 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,640 He's accusing us of all sorts here! 423 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,160 Says we've been spying on him. 424 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,600 - Well, I haven't. - Oh, don't bother, Larry. 425 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,040 I know you're their third wheel. 426 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,160 They don't know where I work. You do. 427 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,280 And where's Valerie in all this? 428 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,240 We'd like to hear her side of the story. 429 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,360 She's up my arse, second shelf on the right. 430 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,280 Oh, that's disgusting! 431 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,120 There's no need for crude language! 432 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,480 I knew you'd be trouble the second you moved in. 433 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,320 Those gnomes showing their bottoms - that was enough. 434 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,120 Fuck off! 435 00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,560 Hey, hey, come on! 436 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,520 We're not savages! 437 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,120 - Leave him, Ken, he's not worth it. - Just get off my property. 438 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,200 And you keep to your own side of the street from now on. 439 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,440 Don't worry, we will. 440 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,200 We're just concerned, that's all. 441 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,960 Val's such a lovely lady, it's not like her to disappear 442 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,760 - like that without a trace. - It's none of your fucking business. 443 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,720 And you make any more accusations against me, 444 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,280 Larry, and I promise you, you'll regret it, 445 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,320 do you hear me? 446 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,560 DOOR OPENS 447 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:27,760 DOOR SLAMS 448 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,560 Oh, come on, boy, where are you? 449 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,800 Popcorn! 450 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,200 CASTORS RUMBLE ON GROUND 451 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,560 {\an8}KEYS JANGLE 452 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,720 {\an8}DOOR OPENS 453 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:36,880 VAL SIGHS 454 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,600 Oh, great... 455 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,600 CLATTERING 456 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:45,440 Oh, hiya, Larry, you're up late. 457 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,360 I've been looking for Popcorn. 458 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,320 - You're back? - Yeah. 459 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,960 I'm away a week, and the place is a tip. 460 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,120 Where've you been? 461 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,640 Oh, just at my sister's in Halifax. 462 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,760 - Damon and I had a stupid row about a futon. - A futon? 463 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,240 Yeah. He got pissed and he spilt red wine all over it, 464 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,520 and then he pushed it down the stairs and it broke. 465 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,720 Dickhead ended up chopping it up with a chainsaw. 466 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,680 - Oh, we thought... - What? 467 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,160 Er, nothing. 468 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,520 So, what's happened to Popcorn? 469 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,400 Oh, he's ran off. 470 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,080 He found a way to get out of the garden under the hedge. 471 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,600 He usually comes back. 472 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,920 I'm getting a bit worried now. 473 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,920 I'm sure he'll show up. 474 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,920 BOTTLES CLINK 475 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,360 - I hope so. - Erm... 476 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,680 You've had no more problems with foxes, then? 477 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,600 Oh, no, fingers crossed. 478 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,680 - Open this up for me, would you, please? - Oh... 479 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:38,960 Oh, my God. 480 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,960 Popcorn. 481 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,960 What's happened? What's he doing in there? 482 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,200 It was you. You poisoned him. 483 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,160 What? No, I'd never do that! 484 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,000 You said you would. 485 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,680 Poisoned him and dumped him in a dustbin. 486 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,520 Of course I didn't! 487 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,560 Let me go and call Damon. 488 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,000 Hi, Damon, I'm back. 489 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,240 I need you to call me as soon as you get this, please. 490 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,640 Something awful's happened. All right, speak soon. Bye. 491 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,480 Oh, Larry, wait outside, would you, love? 492 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:28,600 What are you...? 493 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,040 SHE SCREAMS, WHACK 494 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,880 No! 495 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,880 WHACK 496 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,280 LOUD THUD 497 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,680 BRICK FALLS TO FLOOR 498 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,520 DOOR CLOSES 499 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,240 POLICE RADIO CHATTER 500 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,360 SIREN IN DISTANCE 501 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,200 Yeah, are you getting all this?! 502 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,640 You happy now? 503 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,360 I didn't do it! 504 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:44,760 HELICOPTER WHIRS 505 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,320 Yeah, I'm looking at you! 506 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,440 You're never going to get your Tupperware back now, 507 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,760 are you, Sheila?! 508 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:53,560 You dozy... 509 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,400 SIREN BLARES 510 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,040 I mean, to be honest, we've been suspicious of him 511 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,800 since he came here, haven't we, Ken? 512 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,320 Oh, yeah. Well, they were into Satanism, witchcraft, 513 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,480 all that type of thing. 514 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,760 Wouldn't surprise me if they were devil worshippers. 515 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:16,000 Hanging skeletons and whatnot in the garden, lighting candles. 516 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,040 Although, to be fair, that was just at Halloween, so... 517 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,720 Yeah, well, there's no smoke without fire. 518 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,200 And you saw him dragging her body out and putting it in 519 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,560 - the boot of his car, didn't you? - Yes. - Yes. - Yeah. 520 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,120 Granted, it was a week before he actually killed her, 521 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:33,360 but, well, we think it was a trial run, don't we? 522 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,960 Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. 523 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,480 - You've been very helpful. Thanks. - Of course. 524 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,680 Can I just ask? 525 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,720 Do you think they might do a Netflix on it? 526 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,720 Mulberry Close Murders. 527 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,080 We think it'd make a very good three-parter. 528 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,480 And if you need anyone to do the voice-overs, 529 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,800 we know Michael Ball a little bit. 530 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,240 Fucking hell. 531 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,280 Do we know if anyone's checked the door cam footage yet? 532 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,160 CAR DOOR CLOSES 533 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,760 ENGINE STARTS 534 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,440 GEARS CRUNCH 535 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,600 POPCORN BARKS 536 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,560 LOUD THUD, POPCORN YELPS 537 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,640 SHEILA SIGHS 538 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,640 Oh, for God's sake. 539 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,840 SHE SIGHS 540 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,200 DRAMATIC DRUMBEAT 541 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,480 And it was at this point that detectives knew 542 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,480 they'd blown the case wide open. 543 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,160 I'm Michael Ball, and this... 544 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,600 ..is The Mulberry Close Murders. 545 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,360 TENSE THEME MUSIC PLAYS 36955

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