Original subtitles

-Previously on Astrid and Lilly Save the World.

-I love us.

-ASTRID: I love us too, Lil.

-You're a monster - Check out a mirror.

[Howling] - Oh, shit, I'm gonna die

at the hands of a hottie with a body.

-I'm Brutus. Long story short...

a portal to another dimensin was opened.

Sort of "end of the world" type situation.

[Scream] [Roar]

-It makes sense. It's furniture lady.

-Oh, my God!

-Who have you been taking orders from anyway?

Brutus?

-EGGS: I know you're up to somethin.

I just don't know what it s yet but I think

it has something to do wih the solar system.

-Two down, eight to go.

[Energetic punk song by SNFU plays loudly]

[Punk song continues quietly from phone]

-Oh, I officially hate everything I own.

-Come on, we're gonna be late.

[Frustrated groan]

[Dramatic boom]

[Frustrated groan]

-ASTRID: Okay, you look fine.

Who are you trying to impress, anyway?

-Oh, nothing, no one!

Uh, why would you even say that?

Let's just go.

[Brutus, Astrid and Lilly all scream]

[Hisses] - Hooah

How did you get in here?

-What the hell, Brutus?!

[Sighs]

-That was a test.

And you failed.

You have to learn how to conquer your fears.

Eight monsters between the both of you

and the closing of the portal?

You have to always be ready.

[Exhale] Good news is

the rest of your powers should be kicking in soon.

- Wait, the rest of them? - Yeah.

-Ohh! Do we get to be, like, invisible?

I've always wanted to be able to fly.

-I just want the vinegar vomit smell to stop.

-Yeah, no, that's still gonna be there.

But your hearing and your sight

should be increasing.

-I guess that's cool. [Gasps]

Oh, the better to spy on Sparrow.

[Snorts] - Oh, and your leg?

It is gradually gonna get stronger, so... [Sucks teeth]

-Wait...

just the one leg?

Wow. Awesome.

-Just be careful, you know, with your powers.

They're really unpredictable. They are tied to the portal,

which is a literal rip in time and space,

so, you know, not the most...

stable.

[Gentle music] Hm.

-Uh, hey, this is private!

-Oh, I'm-I'm cool. I'm cool.

I love, uh... Tay-Tay

and, uh...

Penises.

Oh! And what's this?

"Prove to jerks at school..." [Scoffs]

Who are these jerks at school?

Of course you can get a boyfriend.

Hey!

[Upbeat music]

Hey, that's... that's me!

-All right! Time to go.

It's time to go!

-Uh, Brutus almost saw...

everything.

[Yells] [Screaming]

-God damn it, Brutus!

-Conquer your fear.

Always be ready.

-Ohh...

I wanted to drink this.

[Upbeat music sting]

[Indistinct conversations]

-[ Sigh] Is it just me,

or does the whole Brutus training feel super random?

I mean, I know he's supposed to be the expert,

but the whole thing is kinda--

-Kinda suss? Yeah.

[School bell]

-And now we're late.

-Brutus didn't mention any new monsters.

Maybe we get the day off?

[Woman screaming]

-Oh, my God! Brutus, give it a rest!

-WOMAN: Oh, God, oh God.

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Frightened exclamation]

[Panicked breathing]

-What the hell was that?

[Hissing]

Oh, my God!

[Frightened gasps]

[Percussive bass guitar playing]

-First, I find a gray hair this morning

and now Jonas is a no-show.

My birthday week is ruined.

- Maybe he's just lat? - I had a whole plan!

Bottomless margs at Maria's Cantina

and then I was finally gonna close that hottie.

-Boo.

-What if he saw the gray hair and now he's avoiding me?

-Oh, my God, are you kiddin? You look amazing.

-Well, of course you think I look amazing;

you're so much older than me.

-If you still wanna get marg, I'm free tonight.

-I know what will make me feel better.

[Piercing whistle]

Today we're playing dodgeball!

-Oh, dodgeball.

Classic. The bruises are temporary

but the emotional scars last a lifetime.

Hey, what's wrong?

-I can't. I can't.

-Where do you think you're going?

-Nurse's office.

I have flu...

cramps.

-Nice try.

There is no such thing as flu cramps.

You - over there.

-Okay, let's go.

-Ah, ah, ah, na! You.

Over there.

You - there. You - there.

You - there.

No, you there.

[High energy rock music]

Ready or not...

here we go! [Blows whistle]

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Shoes squeaking]

-Oh, ow. [Sobbing]

-Ooh.

-Ow, stop.

-Astrid!

-Ow!

-Hey! Hey! Hey!

They can't keep hitting her after she's out!

-Dodgeball is survival of the fittest.

She should try being fitter.

-Or a smaller target.

-Oh, my God.

-LILLY: Ow.

-Ooh!

-Hey, are you okay?

Like, what happened back there?

-Dodgeball PTSD.

[Deep sigh]

Second grade,

Ben Blake hit me in the face.

I got this, like, huge nosebleed.

[Sighs]

-Then I peed my pants.

-Ahhhh! Big yikes.

-Every time I see that red ball

it's like I'm seven years old again.

Express train to meltdown city.

[Dramatic music]

What is it?

-I think maybe my super hearing kicked in?

If you jump out at us again, I will murder you.

[Sucks teeth]

-You weren't here the whole time, right?

-What? No, ew!

No, I'm not some sort of creeper.

Anyway, we have to talk.

Another monster's come through the portal.

-Hm. We figured.

Well, that giant snake tail and all.

-Oh, yeah.

But it's so much more than just a giant sn--

[Yelling]

-Good morning,

Ferrets!

Pep rally at lunch!

Yeah, ah, ah!

[Light airy music]

Go, Ferrets!

-Did Brutus just bail?

What the hell!

[Both sigh] - What did he say?

-He said it was more than just a snake,

like...

Well, that's helpful!

-Ahh...

You're okay. It's going to be fine.

[Music turns more sinister]

-Almost there.

[Knocking on door]

-Hey, Christine.

-He has blessed us

with a beautiful day, hasn't he?

- Hm. - So, little favour:

I see you're scheduled for the rec room tonight, again,

but I was wondering,

since I'm in charge of the building for Habitat--

-Oh! Bless your heart.

I-I would love to!

But, unfortunately, I do have that room booked,

again.

All month, actually.

-If you're at peace with putting your needs

above those of the dispossessed,

I'm sure you're right.

-I'm always right, Tom.

-If that's the path you're comfortable with,

- Because that's absolutely-- - Oh, oh, no! Uh-oh.

What's happening? [Door slams]

-Talk later, then!

[Birds cawing]

-Hm, I see you're digging my new decor!

-So, before we talk about monster stuff,

we kind of--

-What's your deal?

-My deal?

-Yeah. We have questions.

-Uh, we just wanted to know

where you're from,

why you know all this stuff,

why you're helping us.

-Whether you're telling us the truth.

[Tense music]

-Where is this coming from?

-Well...

Before we killed Razor, she kinda said some stuff.

-You listened to Razor?

-Well, she might've been a murderous hellbeast

with a hankering for teen boy meat,

but she had a point:

we don't know anything about you.

-Okay, guys, guys...

there's a monster out there that could be killing someone

as we speak.

But, sure, we could spend the whole night

talking about me. That's fine by me.

-You're right.

-Astrid?

-Fine.

-Hm.

The creature is called a Timoring.

It's a shapeshifter that manifests

as someone's worst fear, and kills them with it,

before moving onto its next victim.

-That sounds terrible.

-Mm-hm -How do we kill it?

-Um, not ideal.

The Timoring is...

only vulnerable

when confronted with its own

worst fear.

Otherwise, it's...

pretty much unkillable.

-And that fear would be what?

-Huh?

Um, i-i-it's not

specified, unfortunately.

But that's when your detective know-how comes in.

I have every confidence.

-That makes one of us.

-And when the Tim's done and dusted,

all you need to do is get its amygdala for the orb.

- Ew. - All right, come on.

Happy hunting!

[Dark music]

-[Sigh] Okay, it's not here!

-Do you want to go for another lap?

-Well, we've been at this for hours.

If I don't get home soon, my mom's gonna freak.

-Okay, let's call it.

We can regroup, start again tomorrow.

-Thank you.

[Horrified gasps]

[Muffled breathing]

-Okay, okay, okay.

Sh, sh, sh.

[Creepy music]

[Nervous breathing]

[Thump] [Frightened gasps]

Oh, my God.

- Oh, Jesus. - Yeah, okay.

-Come on.

-Sh, sh, sh, sh.

-Oh, my God.

[Stifled screech]

Okay.

Oh... Oh, my God.

-It's that substitute teacher!

-Oh, my God. We're too late!

-Is that a snake fang?

[Airy music]

-No.

[Worried sigh]

You are hot.

You are sexy and just...

Mm! You are so hot.

Be hot. You're hot.

You're hot. You're just...

[Creepy music]

Hot.

[Calming exhale] [Clears throat]

[Quiet creepy laughter]

-Up late?

You know those all-night Xena binges

are bad for your sleep.

-Oh, it wasn't Xena's fault;

it was my stupid subconscious.

I was trapped in a stress-induced nightmare loop,

playing dodgeball with a giant snake.

-Ugh.

Yeah, I can't stop thinking about that poor substitute.

- Ah! Ow! - Oh!

-What's that for?

-Oh, I don't know. I didn't mean to.

-[Both] It's a monster! It's here!

-Oh, shit...

-Oh, I hope it's not some snake.

-Oh, my God!

-You're hot. [Laughs]

You're sexy.

Yeah.

[Quiet creepy laughter]

-It has to be close.

-But how do we find it?

-You're hot.

-[Whispered] Happy birthday

- Yes, you are. - To...

you...

[Maniacal laugh]

[Screaming]

-[Gasp] That was easier than I thought!

-Okay.

[Maniacal laughter]

-No...

- Come on! - No!

-Make a wish!

[Maniacal laughter]

Blow out your candles!

-No.

-Goodbye, 20s...

Hello, early menopause!

[Screaming]

-Hey, back off, creepshow!

I have a super-leg of indeterminate strength,

and I'm not afraid to use it!

-You go, Lilly, with your bad self!

- Very intimidating! - Yes.

-Sorry...

Didn't know anyone was in here.

I need to grease the hinges.

[Whimpering]

I'll-I'll-I'll come back.

-Uh, ii-it's okay.

The scary clown is gone.

-What kind of sick freak would do something like that?

Do people actually think I'm 30!?

-Well, that took an unexpected turn.

-I'm not going to be 30 for another two years!

No, wait, no, wait:

four years!

I'm only 26.

-It's okay; I-I'd still card you.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're very young, like a little ol' baby.

-Yeah?

- Come on, we gotta go. - Yeah.

-What the hell happened?

Did we scare it off somehow?

-No idea!

I wonder where he went?

[Nervous breathing]

[Ominous music]

-Let's go.

[Door unlatches]

-[Valerie] This is Maggie

from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Here we go!

[Clears throat]

[Southern accent] If I had thought

that you would never,

never,

never make love to me again...

why, I would go downstairs to the kitchen,

and I would pick out the-the longest

and the sharpest knife that I could find

and I would stick it straight into my heart!

- I swear I would! - CRITIC: Boo!

-[Normal voice] Hello?

[Ominous music]

Hello?

Oh.

[Southern accent] Oh, Brick!

How long does it have to go on for?

This punishment?

Haven't I done time enough,

haven't I served my term,

can't I apply for...

for a pardon?

- Boo!! - Okay. Rude!

-You suck!

Boo!

-Excuse me?

-Yes, child! What'd you do? Break your leg?

-Okay, seriously!

-You-you, Valerie!

You don't even deserve

to be in [Southern accent] a theater!

[Hysterical sobbing]

-It has to be around here somewhere.

We just saw it!

-Aw, oh! My leg!

-Oh, oh, my God.

It's attacking... again!

[Pained moans and groans]

-VALERIE: Help! Somebody help me! Somebody help m!

-Okay, go, go, go!

-I've never seen anything quite so wooden.

-No, I don't even know you.

-You should be banned!

[Dramatic music]

[Valerie sobbing]

-Oh-ho-ho...

-Wha-what happened?

[Sobbing]

-I was--

I was practicing my monologue and then, all of a sudden,

they were-they were throwing things at me and they--

[Breathing quickly] they said...

they said I was a bad actor.

-Well, where did they go?

-I don't know. I--

They disappeared when I got into the cafeteria.

I don't know...

-Disappeared again?

Hella weird.

Oh, my God.

[Ominous music] [Crickets chirping]

-I don't get it.

We saw it kill when it was a snake.

But why did it stop with Michelle and Val?

-[Sighs] There's a pattern here.

I-I know there is.

-How are my two favorite hunters this fine evening?

-Oh, my God, you gotta stop doing that!

-Oh, my God.

-What, it's part of my very important training.

You know that. I mean, don't you trust me?

-I mean, why should we?

We don't know anything about you.

-[Scoffs] Wow. Okay.

You guys are still hung up on this, huh?

-I mean, you are a monster.

-A-a nice monster.

But a monster, nonetheless.

Why are you so invested in helping us close the portal?

-Fair enough.

[Clears throat]

TLDR:

I come from a long line of interdimensional

monster-hunter mentors

as part of an organization

called The Portal Protectorate.

Agents are trained from hatchlings

to monitor the borders between worlds,

and to step in

if there's a breach.

- Hm. - It's all very official.

Oh, we even have badges.

[Curious music]

Very trustworthy.

-Oh! Cute photo.

-Thanks.

[Chuckle]

Hm.

-Well, I get why a breach is bad for us,

but...

why does the protectorate thing

care if a few humans get turned into monster kibble?

-They don't.

As such. They care about portals.

Portals weaken the architecture of the universe.

If left unchecked, if there's too many open at once,

it could cause the whole cosmos to collapse

resulting in

painful death and destruction,

bodies flipping inside out; organs just popping--

-[Gagging] Okay.

-So, then, why did you bail on us at school today?

-Because of the monster.

-Hm?

-The giant furry thing?

-The ferret?

-Yeah.

-That's the school mascot.

-Why would a school make a monster its mascot?

Hm?

And to expose children to that thing?

I don't understand this dimension, like, at all.

[Astrid sighs]

Anyway, I leave the Timoring in your very capable hands.

You guys got this.

[Whoosh]

-Well,

I guess we know what Brutus is afraid of.

Now we just need to figure out

what gives Tim the heebie-jeebies.

[Sigh]

♪♪ I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy ♪

♪♪ Down in my heart ♪

♪♪ Down in my hear, Down in my heart ♪♪

♪♪ I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy ♪

♪♪ Down in my heart, Down in my heart ♪♪

♪♪ To stay. ♪♪

-[Soft gasp] That was beautiful!

I actually felt that one.

Now,

let's go be youth warriors!

Get those recruit numbers up!

[Sighs; flaps lips]

[Tense music]

[Knocking on door]

-Again?

-Brutus? Annoying!

-Hey, dorks.

-[Christine] Gosh, I am sorry

to interrupt your little evening.

We're gonna be out of your hair in a jiff.

-I'm not going to force Astrid to go if she doesn't want to.

-Oh, that's adorable, but,

unfortunately,

I have a note from Astrid's mom

granting me permission to take her.

Helen just wants to make sure

that her daughter is on the right path.

You know,

balance out any...

bad influences.

[Deep nasal inhale]

-[Scoffs] I'm almost impressed.

You guys keep finding new depths of...

loser.

-Oh, it's the Timoring. It found us!

-Nope! Just terrible people

entering our most sacredest space.

-How can you be sure?

-No monster reek.

Just this biznatch's Bath & Body Works.

By the way, you smell like a rancid fruit roll-up.

[Lilly stifles laugh] [Nasal scoff]

-Cute pic.

Is that your imaginary boyfriend?

-What are you even doing here?

-Youth Group is doing our annual lock-in.

Astrid's coming with.

-Over my dead body.

-Chill.

We have snacks.

-[Sighs] It's okay.

I'll go.

Anything to get you asshats to GTFO.

[Lilly stifles chuckle]

So, what are we up to tonight?

Pound a few beers, then hit the clubs?

[Dramatic music swell] [Panicked breathing]

-It's a surprise.

[Dramatic music swell]

[Dramatic music]

[Nervous breathing]

[Gasp]

-Oh, my God.

-Hey.

-Hey.

[Tender music]

[Nervous breaths]

[TV plays softly in background]

-Where do you think you're going

at this hour, young lady?

-Ah, just saving Astrid from youth group.

-Okay.

Don't be too late, kiddo.

-Thanks.

'Night!

-Goodnight.

-Welcome, all.

We are so lucky to have you.

You are about to embark on a very special journey.

[Throat laugh]

I'm sorry, Astrid, is there something you want to say?

-I just have a feeling that what you call "special,"

I call "less fun than waterboarding."

[Sparrow snorts] - Oh.

Well, thank you for your input.

-Hm.

-As I was saying...

on this journey [Tense music]

you are going to be forced

to confront your sin

and your depravity.

Like, I don't know, a-a smart mouth,

or a complete lack of respect for authority.

But, first,

I'm going to have to take all of your phones.

Can't have any false idols

getting in the way of your spiritual progress!

[Phone rings] Whose is that?

Oh, ha!

My bad. That's me.

It is right-- There it is.

[Phone stops ringing]

Okay, T-T-Y-L.

Okay. Sorry, where were we?

Oh-- false idols.

Hand them over.

[Astrid sighs]

[Phone clatters into box]

[Tense music]

-Hm.

-Good girl.

[Phone clatters into box]

Now...

let's get this show on the road.

Sweetie, you're first.

[Lock clicks into place]

-We are holy hostages.

-Yeah, like in Jesus jail.

[Chuckles]

Only Christine could come up with something this perverse.

[Sniffs]

Oh!

Does anybody else smell that?

-No.

-Shit! The Timoring strikes again.

Oh, my God.

[Sniffs] Oh.

[Door closes]

[Engine struggling]

-What?

Oh!

[Engine struggles to start]

[Dramatic music]

-[Whisper] training exercise...

[Normal] ...valuable problem-solving skills?

[Angry] car back together?

I am going to murder him!

[Sighs]

-So, uh...

Never mind.

-What a weird-ass day.

First I get attacked by giant bees,

and then I get kidnapped by youth groupies.

Can't wait to see what happens next.

-Giant bees?

-Yeah.

-Like, how giant?

-Like, football size.

Just totally insane.

-Huh.

Maybe you were seeing things?

-Oh, I-I was definitely seeing things.

I was high as balls.

-Oh! [Laughing]

[Door opens]

-Hmm.

Your turn.

[Scoffs]

Oh?

-Are you serious?

Don't touch me, man!

-I'll be back for you later.

[Door closes; lock clicks]

- [Mumbles] I gotta get us outta here.

-Hold on, Astrid, I'm coming!

Oh! Cool!

Whoo!

Uh...

What's happening?

Ah!

Ah, damn you, Brutus, or Portal Protectorate,

or whatever you are!

Biking was easier without this stupid super-leg!

[Groans; screams]

[Dramatic music]

-Ho...

[Keys jangle]

Okay.

[Jiggling]

[Lock opens] [Relieved sigh]

[Opens door]

[Door closes]

-YOUTH GROUP KID #1: Ooh, I'm Sparrow.

Look at my black nail polish. I'm so edgy.

-Do you actually think you look cool?

It's like you fell into the bargain bin at Hot Topic.

-Your parents think you're a worthless freak

who'll never amount to anything.

That's why they sent you here.

[Footsteps recede]

[Dramatic music]

[Mumbled whispers]

-Oh, yes!

[Phone chimes]

[Buttons clicking]

Ah, sweet!

Okay.

[Dramatic music swell]

Holy crap.

I can see through floors now?

Who's Christine talking to?

[Soft whoosh]

[Expels air through mouth]

-GUARDIAN: It's working.

I am... [Squelching]

Becoming.

-That makes me so happy, my angel.

-If you're happy,

I'm happy.

You are one of the special ones.

Some of us are special,

some of us are not.

Jonas was not.

-About that, um...

I'm getting a-a scooch concerned

about the whole Jonas situation.

Ah, not that I would ever doubt your plans,

oh, infallible one.

I-I am so grateful for your divine intervention.

I-it's just...

people will start to ask questions.

And those questions could lead to...

investigations.

-I see.

Gather up some parchment.

Compose a letter from Jonas that he has left

to find his fortunes elsewhere.

Our work is too important

to be interrupted by mortal authorities.

-And...

what is our work...

exactly?

-We're going to create a brave new world to our liking,

together,

you and I.

And I'll need some recruits for our work.

Can you handle that?

-That's my specialty.

[Music swells]

[Bike clatters] [Bike brakes squeal]

[Sighs] - Ho...

-Nice dismount.

So graceful.

-Of course you're here!

-Like I have a choice?

You've met my mom.

-Yeah, she's, um...

-A raging she-devil.

-Well, I wasn't going to say that...

to your face, heh. [Light music]

-You come here to rescue your other half?

-Uh, yes.

-Well, you're just in time.

They haven't started on her yet.

You're a good friend.

[Phone chimes]

-Whoo! Hallelujah.

-SPARROW: Stop! Just shut p and leave me alone!

-Oh, hell no.

This ends right now.

[Dramatic music swell]

[Loud whistle]

Hey, hot stuff!

Our ride's here. Let's bounce!

[Chair clatters]

-FEMALE: Hey! MALE: Get him!

-FEMALE: Get back here!

[Struggling with door]

[Youth group kids' voices continue in distance]

-Nice.

[Candace and Lilly talk unintelligibly]

[Lilly laughs]

-What the hell, Lilly?

You're supposed to be rescuing me,

not making small talk with the enemy.

-Ah, I was just about to come find you.

-Okay, well, where's the car?

We need to be elsewhere ASAP.

-I brought my bike.

-Why?

[Lilly sighs]

-Stupid Brutus and his stupid training.

He sabotaged the car to, I don't know,

teach us resilience, or something.

-Maybe y'all should get a tandem bike.

I mean, it's not like you guys can get any less lame.

-Okay, nobody asked you, Princess McBitchface.

-Hm.

Whatever.

Later, losers.

-Okay, we should probably go

and unt-hay the onster-may?

-Right.

Okay, gimme a sec.

[Astrid sighs]

Hey.

You-you okay to walk home?

-Yeah, go ahead. I'm good.

Well, I'm not exactly good, but...

-Yeah, things got pretty crazy in there.

-Mm-hm.

I'm just pissed I let them get to me.

Thank you for busting me out, by the way.

-Okay. [Tender music]

-Hey, hey!

[Chuckles]

Do you still want to go out?

-What?

-It's just, you're such a badass.

Also, I'd understand if you want to back out, you know.

I-I know crying in front of a bunch of youth group pricks

isn't exactly what lady boners are made of, so...

-But that ass definitely is!

We are so still on.

[Laughs quietly]

He just asked me out. You see that?

-Okay, come on! Let's go.

-Sorry.

[Astrid sighs gently]

Should I wave goodbye all sexy?

-I'm pretty sure nothing about this is sexy.

Whoa, so you can see through the floor?

That's so cool!

-I mean, it was pretty blurry, but I definitely saw Christine.

I couldn't make out who she was with,

but they were wearing some kind of statement necklace.

-Well, I'm glad at least one of us

has a cooler power than my random leg I can't control.

-Ooh, I meant to tell you, Sparrow had a near miss, too.

-Whoa. Oh, what happened?

-Well, he got attacked by ginormous bees during lunch.

He didn't get eaten

so something must have scared it off.

[Door opens] [Dramatic music]

-ASTRID: Huh.

-Wait...

Where did we just come in?

-The gym, I think?

[Lights power up loudly]

[Ball bounces once]

[Nervous breathing]

[Bouncing ball]

-LILLY: Shit.

I think it's here...

for me.

[Dramatic music swell]

[Tense music]

[Approaching footsteps]

-Let's play!

[Frightened mumblings]

[Monster groans menacingly]

[Ball bouncing slowly]

[Monster whispers unintelligibly]

-Oh, oh.

[Nervous breathing]

[Menacing growls]

-Oh, my God.

-MONSTER: Aw... [Astrid gasps]

Come out and play!

-Ah, hurry!

-It's just like that scene in Jurassic Park.

I couldn't sleep for weeks.

I just kept dreaming about the veloci--

-Shh! Don't say it!

Don't even think it!

-Okay, okay!

[Roars]

[Frustrated growl]

-What are we gonna do? We can't hide here forever.

-I can't think with you panicking at me!

Wait, okay. [Calms breathing]

[Echoey whistling in distance]

-Aaahhh.

-JANITOR [ECHOEY]: Sorry.

[ECHOEY] Didn't know there was anybody in here.

[Valerie sobbing]

-[ECHOEY] He disappeared when I got to the caf.

-Grease the hinges...

-LILLY: What is it?

-Hold on.

[Menacing groans]

[Ragged breathing]

-ASTRID: Okay, what the hell are you doing?

-Oh, God.

You think we're going to die.

You're calling Sparrow to say goodbye because you think

- we're going to die! - We're not gonna die!

-Hey, I was just thinking about you.

-Did you have mayo on your lunch today?

-Uh... I think so? Yeah, it was a BLT.

-Thank you. Also, did you get home okay?

-Yeah, I'm almost there.

Hey, why do you sound like you're choking?

-Got no time. Talk later!

It's mayo!

The answer is mayo!

-Great, now you've lost your mind.

-No. Okay, I know what to do.

Can you hold him off?

-Astrid, I don't-- I-I can't.

-Lilly, you're a fierce queen bitch

who eats monsters for breakfast.

Where's Tearjerker right now, hm?

Dead! That's where.

What about Razor? Also super dead!

- You did that. - I did?

-Nope, no, no, no, no. Not going to cut it.

Who did that?

-[Confidently] I did that.

-Yes. [Grunts in pain]

Now, let's get that leg in the game!

[Menacing growl] Go, go, go, go!

[Astrid and Lilly shriek] [Monster growls]

- Lilly! - I can do this.

Whoa, I got this.

[Lilly calms breathing]

I can do this.

[Evil laugh]

[Loud impact]

[Groan]

I can do this.

You wanna play, shitbird?

Let's play.

[Panicked muttering]

[Excited breathing]

-Lilly,

I'm coming!

[Grunts]

[Loud impact]

-Is that all you got? I could do this all day!

[Growling]

[Loud impact]

[Astrid screams]

[Squirting] [Monster screams]

[Ragged breathing]

[Body thudding]

[Guttural groan]

[Crackling]

[Dramatic music crescendo]

-You...

You may have bested me,

but just remember:

dodgeball lasts forever.

[Laughs]

-Dodgeball only lasts through high school, jerk.

[Badass music]

[Monster continues laughing]

Oh! [Squelching]

-Wait, aren't we supposed to get its amygdala?

That's in its brain!

[Tense music]

-Crap.

[Energetic music]

Do you think we got it all?

-Guess we'll find out. [Orb opens]

-Ugh...

[Orb locks]

-Okay. All right.

[Triumphant music]

Oh, can I just say...

you were

awesome back there.

Like-like Trinity in The Matrix.

-Back at you.

Charging in, screaming like some creamy, eggy Valkyrie.

-Ahh!

[Both laugh]

[Door unlatches]

[Music turns darker]

[Door thuds]

[Soft footsteps]

-GUARDIAN (whispering): Hello, my little entranced pets.

I am becoming,

and will be whole soon.

For when that happens,

I need you to help me build something very important,

something I couldn't bring with me from home.

-Anything, ancient one.

We are ready to serve.

-GUARDIAN: Of course you are.

But, for now,

leave me.

I'm hungry.

[Growl]

[Roar]

[Squelching]

- Caf or yard? - Ooh, yard.

- It's so nice outside. - Hm.

-Have you heard anything from Brutus?

-Nope. No congratulations, no thank you.

He says we can trust him, but...

then he goes completely AWOL, like--

-Hey, twatwaffle.

How's your imaginary boyfriend?

[Astrid scoffs]

["Good Good Look" by I Am ORFA plays]

-Look.

♪♪ FEMALE SINGER: Take a good look at me ♪

♪♪ Take a real good lok at me ♪♪

♪♪ What you gonna do about it? ♪♪

♪♪ Take a good lok at me ♪♪

♪♪ Take a good lok at me ♪♪

♪♪ Take a real good lok at me ♪♪

♪♪ What you gonna do about it? ♪♪

♪♪ Take a good lok at me ♪♪

-Hey, there, girlfriend.

It is I, your very human boyfriend.

[Shoots laser guns]

-Too much.

[Inhales] This is Brutus.

-Mm-hm.

He's in college.

[Students chattering in distance]

-Hm.

[Laughing] - That was awesome.

-I figured I owed you two.

After you faced your fears, and slayed the Timoring.

The least I could do is show up.

Now...

what's for lunch.

[Gentle music]

-BRUTUS: You guys have a time allocated to lunch, don't you?

[Lilly sighs happily]

-Ew! No.

[Bag crinkling]

[Sniffing]

-What do you call this?

-The sandwich?

Tuna salad.

-Tuna salad. [Lilly snorts]

[Astrid laughs] It's amazing.

-Oh, so glad you like it.

Know what's not amazing?

Breaking my car. - That was a training lesson!

-It is never happening again, capisce?

- You guys are no fun. - ASTRID: Hm.

-So, tell me about the Timoring.

What did it manifest for you?

-Oh, dodgeball monster.

- Mm-hm. - Pure nightmare fuel.

-And you?

-Nothing. Didn't work on me.

-Hm.

That's weird.

The only way that would happen is if you've...

already survived your worst fear.

-So, I guess it wasn't the velociraptors.

[Tender music]

-Can't imagine what it was.

[Music turns darker]