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1
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,261
ASH:
Do you believe in
the existence of evil?
2
00:00:12,361 --> 00:00:13,862
[ panting ]
Help me!
3
00:00:13,962 --> 00:00:15,663
Oh.
No!
4
00:00:15,763 --> 00:00:17,424
[ screeching ]
[ screaming ]
5
00:00:17,524 --> 00:00:20,427
30 years ago, I found
the Book of the Dead.
6
00:00:20,527 --> 00:00:22,948
Now, because I read
from the book...
7
00:00:23,048 --> 00:00:24,709
Missar-drah--
8
00:00:24,809 --> 00:00:26,191
... evil has found me.
9
00:00:26,291 --> 00:00:28,632
[ snarling ]
[ screaming ]
10
00:00:28,732 --> 00:00:30,313
You have no idea
what you're doing!
11
00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:32,275
Of course I know
what I'm doing.
12
00:00:32,375 --> 00:00:34,797
[ speaking softly ]
I wrote this book.
13
00:00:34,897 --> 00:00:37,438
[ grunting ]
[ woman screaming ]
14
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,280
Ruby is in Elk Grove,
Michigan.
15
00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:40,721
That's my hometown.
16
00:00:40,821 --> 00:00:42,802
[ smashing ]
Ash?
17
00:00:42,902 --> 00:00:44,283
Hiya Pop.
18
00:00:44,383 --> 00:00:46,485
[ panting ]
I got a problem.
19
00:00:46,585 --> 00:00:48,286
The book--
it did something to me.
20
00:00:48,386 --> 00:00:49,727
It changed me.
[ grunts ]
21
00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:51,889
Night night.
22
00:00:51,989 --> 00:00:52,889
[ growling ]
[ yelling ]
23
00:00:52,989 --> 00:00:55,811
That's our cue!
24
00:00:55,911 --> 00:00:58,853
[ wailing ]
[ both yelling ]
25
00:00:58,953 --> 00:01:02,656
Evil, if you show your ugly mug
in this town
ever again,
26
00:01:02,756 --> 00:01:05,918
I will take you down
and I will wipe you out!
27
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,181
[ eerie music playing ]
28
00:01:10,281 --> 00:01:12,463
You know me
as Ash Williams,
29
00:01:12,563 --> 00:01:15,905
the hero who saved
Elk Grove from evil.
30
00:01:16,005 --> 00:01:19,468
For 30 long years, I've used
this saw on monsters and demons.
31
00:01:19,568 --> 00:01:22,990
But those battles are won,
so now I use it to--
32
00:01:23,090 --> 00:01:24,191
[ buzzing ]
33
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:26,393
Slash prices!
34
00:01:26,493 --> 00:01:28,074
[ upbeat music playing ]
[ glass shattering ]
35
00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:30,836
At Ashy Slashy's Hardware
Store Emporium,
36
00:01:30,936 --> 00:01:32,937
we got you covered!
37
00:01:34,098 --> 00:01:35,999
You want paint?
[ giggling ]
38
00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,161
We shake it till
we break it!
39
00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:40,262
[ wobbling sound ]
40
00:01:43,184 --> 00:01:45,886
Ladies,
you'll
love his nuts!
41
00:01:45,986 --> 00:01:47,527
[ audience gasping ]
[ clinking ]
42
00:01:47,627 --> 00:01:49,089
What's better than
a handful of my nuts?
43
00:01:49,189 --> 00:01:51,090
VOICES OFF-SCREEN : Ahh!
[ laughing ]
44
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,211
A long screw.
45
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:54,172
[ woman moaning ]
Whoa!
46
00:01:54,272 --> 00:01:55,533
We got wood.
47
00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:56,694
[ cash register bell dings ]
We got rope.
48
00:01:56,794 --> 00:01:57,695
We got rubber!
49
00:01:57,795 --> 00:01:59,336
We got it all!
50
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,437
Die high prices
[ buzzing ]
51
00:02:02,798 --> 00:02:04,799
Goodbye high prices!
52
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,541
For that special someone,
we've got everything from
53
00:02:07,641 --> 00:02:09,343
"D" to "ildo."
WOMAN'S VOICE: Mmm.
54
00:02:09,443 --> 00:02:12,785
Because at Ashy Slashy's,
service is literally...
55
00:02:12,885 --> 00:02:14,947
MAN'S VOICE: Not.
... our middle name!
56
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,348
Whoo!
57
00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:19,350
[ laughing ]
58
00:02:19,450 --> 00:02:22,632
Perfection!
And only 22 takes!
59
00:02:22,732 --> 00:02:24,273
MAN ON TV: Welcome back...
PABLO: Yeah.
60
00:02:24,373 --> 00:02:25,874
It's looking good,
Jefe.
61
00:02:25,974 --> 00:02:27,956
Marketing 101,
Pablo.
62
00:02:28,056 --> 00:02:30,357
Know your audience.
[ indistinct chatter outside ]
63
00:02:30,457 --> 00:02:32,279
Look at them
lining up out there.
64
00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:34,240
You're a badass!
[ Ash chuckling ]
65
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,722
PABLO:
You know I've never seen
a town lose its shit
66
00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:38,523
over a hardware
store before.
67
00:02:38,623 --> 00:02:39,884
Well, it's time
to wake up and smell
68
00:02:39,984 --> 00:02:42,366
the lightly scented
wax flowers, Pablo.
69
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:45,888
This isn't just a well-stocked
hardware store/sex-toy emporium.
70
00:02:45,988 --> 00:02:48,650
No, this is a shrine
to a local hero.
71
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,752
Those adoring
fans are my peeps!
72
00:02:51,312 --> 00:02:53,313
[ dramatic music playing ]
[ indistinct chatter ]
73
00:02:58,677 --> 00:03:00,979
[ chainsaw buzzing ]
All right!
74
00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:03,060
Hey, hey!
[ cheering ]
75
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,543
Hello, Elk Grove!
Hey, hey!
76
00:03:06,643 --> 00:03:10,545
Are you ready for some
hardware?!
77
00:03:10,645 --> 00:03:12,647
[ loud cheering ]
Come on in!
78
00:03:14,048 --> 00:03:16,670
Fishing supplies,
aisle two.
79
00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:19,992
We got guns, we got flags,
we got pornography.
80
00:03:20,092 --> 00:03:20,993
Yeah!
That's a little further
81
00:03:21,093 --> 00:03:23,234
in the back.
82
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:25,076
Men, can't please
your wives?
83
00:03:25,176 --> 00:03:26,757
Better check out
aisle seven.
84
00:03:26,857 --> 00:03:27,998
WOMAN:
Yeah!
85
00:03:28,098 --> 00:03:30,119
ASH: Same problem?
No need to push, jeez.
86
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:31,400
WOMAN 2:
Aisle 3 I think.
87
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,762
Hey, no need to push.
Leave me alone.
88
00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:37,564
And last up we have Amy,
89
00:03:37,664 --> 00:03:41,407
who I'm told has made
a startling discovery.
90
00:03:41,507 --> 00:03:44,249
I see here, Amy, that
you discovered this item--
91
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:45,770
In the mud.
92
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:47,411
In the mud.
[ eerie growling ]
93
00:03:47,511 --> 00:03:49,513
[ chuckling ]
94
00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:52,795
[ dance music playing ]
[ indistinct chatter, laughter ]
95
00:03:54,196 --> 00:03:56,197
Well, I know. I'm sorry...
[ indistinct chatter ]
96
00:03:57,919 --> 00:03:59,300
[ clattering ]
[ yells ]
97
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,781
What I fucking
tell you, huh?
98
00:04:00,881 --> 00:04:02,302
How many times
I got to tell you?
99
00:04:02,402 --> 00:04:05,144
Pretzels are for paying
customers only!
100
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:06,425
Okay?
[ grunting ]
101
00:04:06,525 --> 00:04:09,947
Next time I'll use your
head as a fucking cue ball.
102
00:04:10,047 --> 00:04:12,789
Who touched the T--
who touched the TV?
103
00:04:12,889 --> 00:04:14,510
How many fuckin'--
104
00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:16,612
[ suspenseful music playing ]
[ eerie growling ]
105
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,800
[ glass shattering ]
[ people cheering, laughter ]
106
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:31,642
Hey, hey, it's me.
107
00:04:31,742 --> 00:04:35,325
You were right,
evil's coming back.
108
00:04:35,425 --> 00:04:38,887
And here you've found a book
written in ancient Sumerian.
109
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,129
[ howling in distance ]
110
00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:42,130
Curious.
111
00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:44,531
Does "curious"
mean valuable?
112
00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:46,292
This appears
to be some sort of...
113
00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:49,174
descriptive passage.
114
00:04:49,274 --> 00:04:52,137
Conda anu astratta
alaktu...
115
00:04:52,237 --> 00:04:53,477
[ Stanley continues ]
You know with most
of these clowns,
116
00:04:53,557 --> 00:04:55,819
I got to play hardball,
but for you?
117
00:04:55,919 --> 00:04:57,540
Hose clamps
are half-off.
118
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,141
These are the best
in the world.
119
00:04:59,241 --> 00:05:01,503
You put them on,
they grip tight.
120
00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:05,026
They don't slip, slide, stretch,
or tear like other things.
121
00:05:05,126 --> 00:05:06,907
... estaro ces reche.
[ Ash chuckling ]
122
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,469
Sarr des kanda...
123
00:05:09,569 --> 00:05:11,310
[ eerie music playing ]
[ growling ]
124
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:12,911
Kanda...
125
00:05:13,011 --> 00:05:15,313
[ growling grows louder ]
126
00:05:15,413 --> 00:05:16,474
kanda?
127
00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:18,475
[ snarling ]
128
00:05:18,575 --> 00:05:20,236
[ banging ]
[ all gasping ]
129
00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:21,477
What?
130
00:05:21,577 --> 00:05:24,319
Apparently you've found
an ancient text,
131
00:05:24,419 --> 00:05:28,522
known as the
Necronomicon-Ex Mortis.
132
00:05:28,622 --> 00:05:30,363
[ creaking, splintering ]
133
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,004
The
Book of the Dead.
134
00:05:32,104 --> 00:05:33,005
Is that... good?
135
00:05:33,105 --> 00:05:37,008
The book,
is said to hold spells
136
00:05:37,108 --> 00:05:40,010
and incantations that,
[ clinking ]
137
00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:42,111
if read out loud...
138
00:05:43,112 --> 00:05:46,174
... could connect the demons
of the netherworld,
139
00:05:46,274 --> 00:05:47,495
with our own--
140
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:50,257
[ shattering ]
[ all gasping ]
141
00:05:50,357 --> 00:05:52,359
[ wind howling ]
142
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,181
[ smashing ]
[ all screaming ]
143
00:05:56,281 --> 00:05:58,283
[ screeching ]
144
00:06:00,284 --> 00:06:02,186
Most important
thing about a hose,
145
00:06:02,286 --> 00:06:03,947
is its width,
and its length.
146
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,708
Mostly the length.
147
00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:07,029
[ static,
test signal sounding ]
148
00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:08,090
MAN ON TV:
Our scheduled broadcast
149
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:09,511
will resume
in a moment.
150
00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:11,392
Hey!
151
00:06:11,492 --> 00:06:13,393
I paid for
two more spots!
152
00:06:13,493 --> 00:06:15,555
Okay, we got two
fish tacos.
153
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:16,556
Bam!
[ man chuckling ]
154
00:06:16,656 --> 00:06:17,716
We got your
hard drive.
155
00:06:17,816 --> 00:06:18,917
That's me. Thank you.
Enjoy.
156
00:06:19,017 --> 00:06:21,019
MAN: Oh yeah.
Oh! [ grunting ]
157
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,042
MAN 2: I don't know...
[ people murmuring ]
158
00:06:25,142 --> 00:06:27,043
Excuse me.
159
00:06:27,143 --> 00:06:30,205
Oh! Shit--
160
00:06:30,305 --> 00:06:32,307
[ eerie growling ]
[ groaning, panting ]
161
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:39,191
[ whimpering ]
[ growling continues ]
162
00:06:44,235 --> 00:06:46,236
[ eerie music playing ]
[ all gasping, groaning ]
163
00:06:47,477 --> 00:06:49,479
[ person coughing ]
164
00:06:52,481 --> 00:06:54,482
[ guts squishing ]
165
00:06:56,323 --> 00:06:57,664
Who are you?
166
00:06:57,764 --> 00:07:01,227
Well in Rome, they called me
mulier daemonium de igne.
167
00:07:01,327 --> 00:07:02,548
Demon woman of fire.
168
00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:04,989
And in Greece,
they called me
169
00:07:05,089 --> 00:07:08,432
ágria ti mitéra
apó tin kólasi.
170
00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:10,593
Fierce mother from hell.
171
00:07:10,693 --> 00:07:14,556
But in these benighted times,
they just call me Ruby.
172
00:07:14,656 --> 00:07:16,958
[ panting ]
I'll take that.
173
00:07:17,058 --> 00:07:18,279
No! No! Wait!
It's too important--
174
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,820
[ yells ]
[ suspenseful music playing ]
175
00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:26,645
This is bullshit.
176
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,486
Whatever happened
to free speech?
177
00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,928
Ah, this was my best
giant penis yet.
178
00:07:31,028 --> 00:07:32,489
[ snickers ]
Yeah.
179
00:07:32,589 --> 00:07:34,250
Thanks for talking me into this.
[ Rachel chuckles ]
180
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,411
You missed a spot.
181
00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:37,572
Dick.
Less.
182
00:07:37,672 --> 00:07:40,414
[ girls giggling,
chattering ]
183
00:07:40,514 --> 00:07:41,575
Can we just finish
and get out?
184
00:07:41,675 --> 00:07:43,777
I'm in enough
trouble already.
185
00:07:43,877 --> 00:07:46,418
Wait till they see what
I drew on Perkins' car.
186
00:07:46,518 --> 00:07:49,100
Is "man-gina" a word?
187
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,422
[ laughing ]
188
00:07:51,522 --> 00:07:53,583
Oh, Rachel, please.
189
00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:55,505
I just want to get through
the next four months.
190
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:58,187
Since when did you become
Miss Bourgeoisie?
191
00:07:58,287 --> 00:07:59,668
Oh, it's simple.
192
00:07:59,768 --> 00:08:01,589
I graduate,
I can leave here.
193
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:06,152
I leave here, I'm not here,
and that's a good thing.
194
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,593
All right, you still haven't
fallen for Elk Grove's
195
00:08:07,693 --> 00:08:09,435
"small town charms?"
196
00:08:09,535 --> 00:08:11,436
Excuse me?
197
00:08:11,536 --> 00:08:13,597
The whole town's excited
because their ex-psycho killer
198
00:08:13,697 --> 00:08:16,159
is opening
a hardware store.
199
00:08:16,259 --> 00:08:18,961
Kill me now.
[ growling ]
200
00:08:19,061 --> 00:08:20,482
Could be worse.
[ growling continues ]
201
00:08:20,582 --> 00:08:21,803
How?
202
00:08:21,903 --> 00:08:23,524
[ girls laughing ]
We could be like them.
203
00:08:23,624 --> 00:08:24,885
[ wind shrieking ]
204
00:08:24,985 --> 00:08:27,287
Oh, yeah.
That'll never happen.
205
00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:29,969
Good, because
if you did,
206
00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:31,210
I would have
to slit my wrists.
207
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,311
[ electricity buzzing ]
[ coughs, laughs ]
208
00:08:37,154 --> 00:08:38,615
[ exhales ]
209
00:08:38,715 --> 00:08:42,177
Oh, look.
Cougie's back.
210
00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:44,979
[ eerie music playing ]
211
00:08:45,079 --> 00:08:47,081
Yeah, well,
fuck off, Cougie!
212
00:08:52,405 --> 00:08:54,626
Okay, we get it.
213
00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:57,368
Costume, mascot,
very funny.
214
00:09:01,571 --> 00:09:03,572
You can leave now!
215
00:09:06,174 --> 00:09:07,715
Hey, asshole!
216
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,817
Go away--
[ electricity buzzing ]
217
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:12,659
Shit.
218
00:09:13,739 --> 00:09:15,741
Shit.
219
00:09:17,502 --> 00:09:20,064
Okay, guy, now I'm mad.
220
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:29,491
[ growling, snarling ]
221
00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:32,493
Jesus, what is that?
222
00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:34,734
[ growling ]
223
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,576
Probably just some
varsity assholes
224
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,577
playing some
bullshit prank!
225
00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:40,658
Ah!
[ both gasping ]
226
00:09:40,758 --> 00:09:43,340
[ growling ]
227
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,502
Brandy, don't!
228
00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:47,603
What is your problem,
fuckboy?
229
00:09:49,765 --> 00:09:52,667
[ snarling ]
230
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:54,768
[ blood dripping ]
[ gasping ]
231
00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:01,613
[ snarling continues ]
232
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:07,937
[ eerie voices chanting ]
233
00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:12,361
[ lockers banging ]
234
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:14,462
[ gasping ]
235
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,388
[ both panting ]
236
00:10:31,154 --> 00:10:33,155
[ growling ]
[ screaming ]
237
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,640
[ both gasping ]
238
00:10:42,201 --> 00:10:44,203
[ suspenseful music playing ]
239
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,645
[ both screaming ]
240
00:10:49,486 --> 00:10:51,488
Help!
241
00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:55,231
Help!
Help please!
242
00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:56,872
[ snarling ]
[ screaming ]
243
00:10:56,972 --> 00:10:59,113
[ laughing maniacally ]
[ laughter, chattering ]
244
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:01,035
And that's
the whole story.
245
00:11:01,135 --> 00:11:03,196
Hey, feller.
Hey. How are you?
246
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,117
Ladies. Come on.
247
00:11:05,217 --> 00:11:06,218
[ eerie music playing ]
ASH: A litlle somethin',
somethin'.
248
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:08,300
There we go.
249
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,601
[ lively accordion music ]
Nickel for a tickle, huh?
250
00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:12,683
[ girl laughs ]
What do you say?
251
00:11:12,783 --> 00:11:14,784
[ indistinct chatter,
laughter ]
252
00:11:15,985 --> 00:11:19,407
I don't believe this,
it's really him.
253
00:11:19,507 --> 00:11:21,369
[ phone ringing ]
254
00:11:21,469 --> 00:11:22,770
Oh, hey. Hey, honey.
BRANDY: Mom! Mom!
255
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,371
There's this guy at the school,
you've got to come
256
00:11:24,471 --> 00:11:25,532
help us, please!
What?
257
00:11:25,632 --> 00:11:27,213
Hey, Pablo.
Yeah.
258
00:11:27,313 --> 00:11:29,374
Ah, I got to talk to you about
something else.
259
00:11:29,474 --> 00:11:31,376
If this is about
a raise--
260
00:11:31,476 --> 00:11:33,417
Actually, you don't pay me
at all right now, but--
261
00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:35,419
Son of a bitch!
262
00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:36,860
Hey, whoa!
263
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,861
Lady!
There's a line!
264
00:11:38,961 --> 00:11:41,863
Wha-- ? You don't
even remember me?
265
00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:43,905
Well, the old steel trap
never forgets a rack,
266
00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:46,947
but faces are
a little fuzzy.
267
00:11:47,047 --> 00:11:48,708
Give me a hint.
268
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,270
[ grunts ]
[ women screaming ]
269
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:52,911
I said a hint.
270
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:54,392
I'm your fucking wife!
271
00:11:54,492 --> 00:11:55,953
[ inaudible ]
272
00:11:56,053 --> 00:11:57,394
My what?
273
00:11:57,494 --> 00:11:59,495
We need to talk.
274
00:12:00,496 --> 00:12:02,498
[ Ash grunts ]
275
00:12:04,219 --> 00:12:05,480
Lady, I don't know what
kind of coo-coo juice
276
00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:06,721
you've been drinkin',
277
00:12:06,821 --> 00:12:08,322
but if you're fishing
for alimony--
278
00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:11,244
One of your goddamn monsters
just attacked
our daughter
279
00:12:11,344 --> 00:12:12,244
at Kenward County High.
280
00:12:12,344 --> 00:12:13,565
Daughter?! Ha!
281
00:12:13,665 --> 00:12:15,887
You definitely
got the wrong guy!
282
00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:17,408
Demons made you
chop off your hand.
283
00:12:17,508 --> 00:12:19,249
"I'll swallow your soul."
[ scoffs ]
284
00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:21,951
Good sex is 30 seconds
followed by a cheeseburger?
285
00:12:24,513 --> 00:12:25,494
Okay, maybe we have met.
286
00:12:25,594 --> 00:12:26,735
[ sighs ]
287
00:12:26,835 --> 00:12:28,096
But in case you didn't
get the memo,
288
00:12:28,196 --> 00:12:30,737
me and my
compadres,
we buried evil big time.
289
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:33,459
Elk Grove is officially
a demon-free zone.
290
00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,180
Jefe.
Yeah.
291
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,282
I think she's telling
the truth.
292
00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:41,405
[ eerie music playing ]
[ growling ]
293
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,588
Dude, I told you to get that
shit lasered off.
294
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:48,590
Nah, I didn't
do this!
295
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:49,991
It just happened outside.
296
00:12:50,091 --> 00:12:51,432
I'm scared!
297
00:12:51,532 --> 00:12:53,633
This thing is after
my little girl and--
298
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,755
All right all ready!
I'll check it out!
299
00:12:55,855 --> 00:12:57,856
[ suspenseful music playing ]
[ tires screeching ]
300
00:12:59,457 --> 00:13:01,459
[ lightning crashing ]
301
00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:10,765
[ chuckles ]
302
00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:12,927
Just like old times,
eh, Pablo?
303
00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:15,208
Except for the wife part,
and no Kelly.
304
00:13:15,308 --> 00:13:16,770
Actually, it's not like
old times at all.
305
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:19,652
Just drive!
Hey, easy for you sister.
306
00:13:19,752 --> 00:13:21,453
You come waltzing
into my life,
307
00:13:21,553 --> 00:13:23,334
yapping about demons
and daughters,
308
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:25,336
and I don't know
boo about you.
309
00:13:25,436 --> 00:13:27,437
Candace Barr.
Yeah, and?
310
00:13:30,039 --> 00:13:31,500
Branson?
311
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,341
Branson.
312
00:13:33,441 --> 00:13:35,943
[ woman and man yelling ]
Oh...
313
00:13:36,043 --> 00:13:38,305
♪ I want candy ♪
314
00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:40,546
[ Ash grunting ]
[ laughter ]
315
00:13:40,646 --> 00:13:42,948
♪ I want candy ♪
316
00:13:43,048 --> 00:13:43,949
Oh.
317
00:13:44,049 --> 00:13:45,550
Give me some!
♪ Yeah... ! ♪
318
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,471
Ah! My God!
319
00:13:47,571 --> 00:13:50,793
Oh God! She's so good!
Oh.
320
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:52,895
[ yelling indistinctly ]
[ both whooping ]
321
00:13:54,656 --> 00:13:56,657
[ both moaning loudly ]
322
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:04,163
Wait a minute,
Candace Barr.
323
00:14:04,263 --> 00:14:05,484
[ sighs ]
324
00:14:05,584 --> 00:14:08,326
[ laughing ]
Oh no, Candy Barr?
325
00:14:08,426 --> 00:14:10,427
[ laughter ]
326
00:14:11,468 --> 00:14:12,529
Well, this daughter
of ours,
327
00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:14,650
I'll bet she thinks
I'm pretty special, huh?
328
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:15,971
Dream on.
329
00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:17,532
I told her her old man
was some crack dealer
330
00:14:17,632 --> 00:14:18,653
who got shanked in prison.
331
00:14:18,753 --> 00:14:19,654
What?!
332
00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:21,255
Well, it was easier
than admitting
333
00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:24,217
I'd hooked up with
some psycho saw-boy!
334
00:14:24,317 --> 00:14:27,859
Oh, okay, but I call
B.S. on the daughter.
335
00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:29,861
I was using my lucky rubber
all through the odds,
336
00:14:29,961 --> 00:14:32,262
and that sucker
went 50 and 0.
337
00:14:32,362 --> 00:14:34,344
Oh, oh, oh.
338
00:14:34,444 --> 00:14:36,505
♪ I want candy, hey! ♪♪
339
00:14:36,605 --> 00:14:38,607
Just drive!
340
00:14:40,608 --> 00:14:42,610
[ eerie music playing ]
341
00:14:46,692 --> 00:14:48,694
[ ethereal growling ]
342
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,301
[ gasping ]
[ indistinct whispering ]
343
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,468
[ wind whistling ]
344
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,800
[ gasping, shuddering ]
345
00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:29,322
[ squishing ]
346
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,965
[ chanting in ancient language ]
[ growling grows louder ]
347
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:40,230
Candalier boncelo....
348
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,712
[ chanting continues ]
349
00:15:42,812 --> 00:15:44,813
[ eerie vocalizing ]
[ chanting continues ]
350
00:15:51,338 --> 00:15:53,339
[ grunting ]
351
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:58,243
Kanda.
352
00:15:58,343 --> 00:16:00,344
Abomino.
353
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,548
[ gulping, gagging ]
354
00:16:15,835 --> 00:16:17,836
[ gasping ]
355
00:16:22,519 --> 00:16:24,521
[ wailing ]
356
00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:29,644
[ vocalizing grows louder ]
[ rumbling ]
357
00:16:35,248 --> 00:16:37,250
[ doors open ]
358
00:16:39,892 --> 00:16:41,553
God, that smell.
[ phone dialing ]
359
00:16:41,653 --> 00:16:44,475
This monkey farm hasn't
changed in 30 years.
360
00:16:44,575 --> 00:16:46,056
WOMAN'S VOICE:
The caller you are trying
to reach is unavailable.
361
00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:48,037
She's not answering.
362
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,759
You actually
went to school?
363
00:16:49,859 --> 00:16:52,320
Yeah, these halls have
some sweet memories.
364
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,422
Met my first
Linda here.
365
00:16:57,024 --> 00:17:00,046
Hey, give me
a second.
366
00:17:00,146 --> 00:17:02,147
What are you doing?
[ sighing ]
367
00:17:03,348 --> 00:17:05,129
I'm sorry, I don't
even know you,
368
00:17:05,229 --> 00:17:07,231
but did I make a mistake
coming to Ash for help?
369
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:12,895
Ever since I hooked up
with El Jefe,
370
00:17:12,995 --> 00:17:15,617
I've seen a lot of weird
shit go down.
371
00:17:15,717 --> 00:17:17,578
He's always
had my back.
372
00:17:17,678 --> 00:17:20,060
Well,
almost always.
373
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,941
There was this one time
I got cut in half.
374
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,302
[ whispers ]
What?
375
00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:25,584
Yeah, but Ash went back
in time to save me.
376
00:17:25,684 --> 00:17:28,346
It was so cool,
but also really weird,
377
00:17:28,446 --> 00:17:31,268
because when we got back,
nothing seemed to have changed.
378
00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:34,150
[ laughing ]
Maui Wowie.
379
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:36,431
It's my emergency stash.
380
00:17:36,531 --> 00:17:38,993
I'll just put this bad boy away
for the appropriate time.
381
00:17:39,093 --> 00:17:41,094
Brandy?
382
00:17:41,415 --> 00:17:43,416
[ eerie groaning ]
[ gasping ]
383
00:17:45,537 --> 00:17:47,539
[ lightning crashing ]
384
00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:53,463
[ thunder rumbling ]
385
00:17:58,066 --> 00:18:00,068
[ indistinct whispering ]
386
00:18:01,709 --> 00:18:03,710
[ suspenseful music playing ]
387
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,555
[ floorboards creaking ]
388
00:18:16,559 --> 00:18:18,561
[ both panting ]
[ footsteps thudding ]
389
00:18:22,764 --> 00:18:24,765
[ Rachel whimpers ]
Shh, shh!
390
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:28,087
[ footsteps thudding ]
391
00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:33,151
[ creaking ]
392
00:18:33,251 --> 00:18:35,252
Whoever's out there,
fuck off!
393
00:18:38,455 --> 00:18:40,456
Brandy?
394
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,437
Wow.
395
00:18:42,537 --> 00:18:44,799
She's not yours,
dumb-ass!
396
00:18:44,899 --> 00:18:46,360
[ gasping ]
Mom!
397
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,482
Honey!
Thank God!
398
00:18:48,582 --> 00:18:49,482
Back off, Mama Bear!
Hey!
399
00:18:49,582 --> 00:18:50,923
What are you doing?
400
00:18:51,023 --> 00:18:52,845
The ink on my buddy
went nuclear,
401
00:18:52,945 --> 00:18:55,446
that means evil is just
around the corner.
402
00:18:55,546 --> 00:18:59,249
So your little peach could
be a bowel-sucking hell beast.
403
00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,651
Mom, what's the chainsaw
geek doing here?
404
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:03,972
Oh, honey, uh, I don't know
how to tell you this,
405
00:19:04,072 --> 00:19:06,494
but Ash, he's- he's ah-
he's your--
406
00:19:06,594 --> 00:19:09,756
What she's trying
to say is, I'm your pop.
407
00:19:10,957 --> 00:19:12,178
Father dearest.
408
00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:14,260
The old sperm shooter.
409
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,101
What?
But you can call me Dad,
410
00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:18,342
unless you're a Deadite,
then you can go fuck yourself.
411
00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:19,783
So come on now, demon-spawn!
[ both gasping ]
412
00:19:19,883 --> 00:19:21,184
Show Daddy
what you got!
413
00:19:21,284 --> 00:19:23,826
[ electricity buzzing ]
[ gasping ]
414
00:19:23,926 --> 00:19:26,348
Okay, nobody move.
415
00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,449
[ heavy breathing ]
416
00:19:33,933 --> 00:19:36,855
Alleged Daughter,
who else is in the room?
417
00:19:38,216 --> 00:19:40,118
Um, you...
418
00:19:40,218 --> 00:19:41,279
the guy with the hair...
419
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:43,380
... my mom, and--
[ piano playing ]
420
00:19:46,902 --> 00:19:48,904
[ light switches clicking ]
421
00:19:51,386 --> 00:19:52,967
Rachel?
422
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,068
[ piano playing continues ]
423
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,294
[ in distorted voice ]
♪ Ashy Slashy ♪
424
00:20:03,394 --> 00:20:05,736
♪ Was a real stinker ♪
425
00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:09,398
♪ Took an axe to his
sister's thinker ♪
426
00:20:10,399 --> 00:20:12,400
Hey, Brandy's friend.
427
00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:15,382
You want to keep it down?
428
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,224
[ panting ]
[ blood splattering ]
429
00:20:17,324 --> 00:20:21,146
Oh! Oh my God! Rachel?
What have you done?
430
00:20:21,246 --> 00:20:23,248
[ growling loudly ]
[ piano playing continues ]
431
00:20:27,611 --> 00:20:29,612
[ gasping ]
[ drums playing ]
432
00:20:34,175 --> 00:20:36,177
[ roaring ]
[ screaming ]
433
00:20:37,298 --> 00:20:38,318
[ drums continue beating ]
434
00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:40,420
What are you doing?!
435
00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:43,262
[ playing out of tune ]
[ snarling ]
436
00:20:44,983 --> 00:20:46,984
[ yells ]
[ gunshot ]
437
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:52,268
[ clattering ]
[ both gasping ]
438
00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:56,431
[ shotgun reloading ]
439
00:20:57,512 --> 00:20:59,013
[ ethereal growling ]
440
00:20:59,113 --> 00:21:01,054
Rachel!
441
00:21:01,154 --> 00:21:03,156
[ horn sounding loudly ]
442
00:21:05,357 --> 00:21:07,359
[ smashing ]
[ all yelling ]
443
00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:12,522
[ instruments playing
chaotically ]
444
00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:16,945
[ trumpeting ]
445
00:21:17,045 --> 00:21:19,107
[ chords sounding ]
Ah!
446
00:21:19,207 --> 00:21:21,208
[ panting ]
447
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,111
[ panting ]
448
00:21:25,211 --> 00:21:27,713
[ clanging ]
[ grunting ]
449
00:21:27,813 --> 00:21:29,814
[ laughing, grunting ]
[ clattering ]
450
00:21:32,056 --> 00:21:34,057
Ah!
451
00:21:34,578 --> 00:21:36,559
[ chords sounding ]
[ grunts ]
452
00:21:36,659 --> 00:21:38,661
[ both panting ]
[ grunting ]
453
00:21:41,863 --> 00:21:44,205
[ chords sounding out of tune ]
[ grunts ]
454
00:21:44,305 --> 00:21:46,366
[ grunting ]
[ clattering ]
455
00:21:46,466 --> 00:21:49,128
[ trumpeting ]
456
00:21:49,228 --> 00:21:51,269
Blow.
[ clattering ]
457
00:21:52,230 --> 00:21:54,212
[ both panting ]
458
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:56,313
[ crashing ]
[ grunts ]
459
00:21:57,474 --> 00:21:59,475
No!
460
00:22:00,476 --> 00:22:02,898
I love you, Brandy.
461
00:22:02,998 --> 00:22:04,819
Oh!
Ugh!
462
00:22:04,919 --> 00:22:06,920
[ blood splattering ]
[ grunting ]
463
00:22:08,041 --> 00:22:09,582
[ both gasping ]
464
00:22:09,682 --> 00:22:11,684
[ clattering ]
[ gasping ]
465
00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:22,251
[ Brandy sobs ]
466
00:22:25,013 --> 00:22:27,014
Candy.
467
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:31,017
[ clattering ]
[ Pablo groaning ]
468
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:37,162
[ gasping ]
469
00:22:37,262 --> 00:22:40,064
Mom!
470
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:44,627
[ Brandy sobbing ]
[ harp playing ]
471
00:23:00,198 --> 00:23:01,499
Why you--
472
00:23:01,599 --> 00:23:03,500
[ Ash grunts ]
[ Brandy screaming ]
473
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,101
No!
474
00:23:05,201 --> 00:23:07,343
[ both grunting ]
475
00:23:07,443 --> 00:23:11,426
Ashy Slashy, soon there'll
be nothing left of you...
476
00:23:11,526 --> 00:23:15,989
... we'll destroy your seed
and your whore daughter too.
477
00:23:16,089 --> 00:23:19,271
Sorry jailbait, my dance card
is a little full.
478
00:23:19,371 --> 00:23:20,632
I'll have to squeeze you in.
479
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,153
[ in normal voice ]
Brandy!
480
00:23:22,253 --> 00:23:24,715
[ grunts ]
[ slicing ]
481
00:23:24,815 --> 00:23:26,816
[ sobbing ]
[ ethereal growling ]
482
00:23:30,219 --> 00:23:32,220
[ heavy breathing ]
[ squishing ]
483
00:23:35,662 --> 00:23:38,444
[ gasping ]
Oh!
484
00:23:38,544 --> 00:23:41,286
Suck on that,
Harpo.
485
00:23:41,386 --> 00:23:43,388
[ blood dripping ]
486
00:23:47,150 --> 00:23:49,152
[ gasping ]
Whew.
487
00:23:51,433 --> 00:23:55,296
What... what?
488
00:23:55,396 --> 00:23:57,138
[ speaking softly ]
I know.
489
00:23:57,238 --> 00:23:59,899
It sucks.
490
00:23:59,999 --> 00:24:01,461
I remember my first
taste of evil.
491
00:24:01,561 --> 00:24:03,562
[ glass shattering, growling ]
[ gasps ]
492
00:24:04,563 --> 00:24:06,384
[ grunts ]
493
00:24:06,484 --> 00:24:08,485
[ suspenseful music playing ]
[ growling ]
494
00:24:09,086 --> 00:24:10,307
Oh, Cougie!
495
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,188
They got you too!
496
00:24:12,288 --> 00:24:14,289
[ buzzing ]
[ gasping ]
497
00:24:15,851 --> 00:24:17,852
[ Cougie growling ]
[ Ash grunting ]
498
00:24:20,093 --> 00:24:22,095
[ chainsaw sputtering ]
[ screeching ]
499
00:24:23,136 --> 00:24:25,137
Ash!
[ Ash yelling ]
500
00:24:27,018 --> 00:24:29,020
[ groaning, wailing ]
[ bones cracking ]
501
00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:32,102
[ grunting ]
[ growling ]
502
00:24:33,783 --> 00:24:35,784
[ screaming, groaning ]
503
00:24:38,787 --> 00:24:40,608
[ growling ]
Ah! Whoa!
504
00:24:40,708 --> 00:24:43,390
[ Ash yelling ]
[ groaning ]
505
00:24:45,311 --> 00:24:47,313
[ roaring ]
[ grunting ]
506
00:24:53,477 --> 00:24:55,478
[ canister hissing ]
[ grunting ]
507
00:24:58,881 --> 00:25:00,502
GIRL'S VOICE:
Howdy fuckin' ho, boys.
508
00:25:00,602 --> 00:25:02,603
Miss me?
509
00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,805
[ chuckling ]
[ gunfire ]
510
00:25:07,967 --> 00:25:08,868
[ splattering ]
[ screaming ]
511
00:25:08,968 --> 00:25:10,969
Uh!
512
00:25:12,370 --> 00:25:14,371
[ heavy breathing ]
513
00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:18,494
Well, looky
who's back,
514
00:25:20,135 --> 00:25:22,137
and seriously rocking
the leather.
515
00:25:25,219 --> 00:25:26,240
Who's the boy toy?
516
00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:27,881
Kelly was right.
517
00:25:27,981 --> 00:25:30,363
You are
the prophesied one.
518
00:25:30,463 --> 00:25:31,724
KELLY:
This is Dalton.
519
00:25:31,824 --> 00:25:33,605
He's with
the Knights of Sumeria.
520
00:25:33,705 --> 00:25:34,726
The who with the huh?
521
00:25:34,826 --> 00:25:36,607
It's an honor
to meet you.
522
00:25:36,707 --> 00:25:38,408
I've been waiting for the chance
to battle this ancient evil
523
00:25:38,508 --> 00:25:39,729
my entire life.
524
00:25:39,829 --> 00:25:43,372
Yeah, he's
kind of a fan.
525
00:25:43,472 --> 00:25:45,473
Who's the kid?
526
00:25:46,074 --> 00:25:49,376
Oh, believe it or not,
that's my daughter.
527
00:25:49,476 --> 00:25:51,417
[ chuckling ]
Sandy.
528
00:25:51,517 --> 00:25:53,139
Ah, Mandy.
529
00:25:53,239 --> 00:25:55,220
Brandy.
530
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,781
[ sobbing ]
And fuck you.
531
00:25:56,881 --> 00:25:58,743
We're still getting
to know each other.
532
00:25:58,843 --> 00:26:01,745
Okay, team,
it looks like evil's back,
533
00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:04,266
and Elk Grove
is ground zero.
534
00:26:04,366 --> 00:26:05,747
Kelly, Pablo.
535
00:26:05,847 --> 00:26:07,549
Other guy,
you up for this?
536
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,230
One for all,
and all for one.
537
00:26:09,330 --> 00:26:11,071
Uh, cute, but no.
538
00:26:11,171 --> 00:26:12,152
Pablo?
539
00:26:12,252 --> 00:26:14,434
Say it like
you mean it.
540
00:26:14,534 --> 00:26:16,115
Ghost Beaters are back!
541
00:26:16,215 --> 00:26:18,436
Fucking A,
right we are!
542
00:26:18,536 --> 00:26:19,757
And evil...
543
00:26:19,857 --> 00:26:22,219
oh, we're coming
for you.
544
00:26:24,661 --> 00:26:26,662
I think now is the appropriate
time Pablo.
545
00:26:33,347 --> 00:26:35,348
[ deep inhale ]
546
00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:38,090
[ in strained voice ]
Sandy?
547
00:26:38,190 --> 00:26:41,573
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
548
00:26:41,673 --> 00:26:45,575
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
549
00:26:45,675 --> 00:26:49,778
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
550
00:26:49,878 --> 00:26:52,200
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
551
00:26:56,283 --> 00:26:58,284
[ disco music playing ]
552
00:27:09,372 --> 00:27:13,115
♪ She's crazy like a fool ♪
553
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:16,717
♪ What about it Daddy Cool ♪
554
00:27:16,817 --> 00:27:20,960
♪ I'm crazy like a fool ♪
555
00:27:21,060 --> 00:27:24,362
♪ What about it Daddy Cool ♪
556
00:27:24,462 --> 00:27:28,285
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪
557
00:27:28,385 --> 00:27:30,547
♪ Daddy, Daddy Cool ♪♪
38508
