Original subtitles

[***]

ALL: * It's time for Animaniacs *

* And we're zany to the max *

* So just sit back and relax *

* You'll laugh Till you collapse *

* We're Animaniacs *

BOTH: * Come join The Warner brothers *

* And the Warner sister, Dot *

ALL: * Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *

* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *

* But we break loose And then vamoose *

* And now you know the plot *

* We're Animaniacs *

* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

* Wakko packs away the snacks *

* While Bill Clinton Plays the sax *

* We're Animaniacs *

* Meet Pinky and the Brain *

* Who want to rule The universe *

* Goodfeathers flock together *

* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *

* Buttons chases Mindy *

* While Rita sings a verse *

* The writers flipped We have no script *

* Why bother to rehearse? *

* We're Animaniacs *

* We have pay-or-play Contracts *

* We're zany to the max *

* There's bologna In our slacks *

* We're Animan-y *

* Totally insane-y *

* Come back, Shane-y *

* Animaniacs *

* Those are the facts *

[***]

Now, I-- I'm well aware that Wakko

can be extremely difficult at times.

Nevertheless, it is his birthday today,

so I want you to go on up to the water tower

and surprise him.

Do your little birthday show skit thing.

Oh, for the boy? Make a surprise?

I just love making a surprise.

I-I-I...

I want you to go away now. You frighten me!

You shouldn't be frightened of me, Mr. Man.

I'm just a clown.

[FAKE YIDDISH BABBLING]

Aaagh!

Please, please, I'm begging you. Get out. Get out.

Oh, poor Mr. Man.

["YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE" PLAYING]

* When you want to scream *

* Put away that frown *

* And never be scared Of a clown *

* Laugh on, laugh on Laugh on and on and on *

* You'll never laugh alone *

Out, clown!

[SIGHS]

A clown is my friend.

A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

A clown is not a big spider.

A clown is not a big spider.

I feel so silly. A grown man scared of clowns.

No, no, on the contrary.

Many peoples has the fear of the clowns.

The psychological term is "clownophobia."

In fact, Wakko has one of the most extreme cases

of clownophobia I have ever seen.

Wakko?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Wakko's fear of clowns--

His clownophobia, if you will.

--is so great that he becomes kooky

and extremely unpredictable.

[LAUGHS] Oh, I'd hate to see the clown

that meets up with Wakko.

Uh-oh.

[***]

* When the whippoorwill Whippers in the wind *

* The wind can whipper back "Oh, nice and chubby baby" *

WAKKO: Okay, I'm it.

One, three, seven,

10, 15, 20,

25, 30, 35, 40,

um, 45, 50, 55, 60,

65, 70, 75, 80,

85, 90, 95,

100.

Ready or not, here I come.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it.

Can I help you?

Happy birthday, nice puppy boy!

Clown!

[GARBLED] That hurt my face.

[PANTING] [DOORBELL RINGS]

Clown!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, little puppy boy.

WAKKO: Go away! You scare me!

Me? I make with fright? I scare?

* When you want to scream Put away that frown *

* And never be scared Of-- *

* A clown *

* Laugh on and on and o-o-on *

[SCREAMS]

[CRASHING]

I wish the ground was mushy and soft.

[***]

* When the whippoorwill Whippers in the wind *

* The wind can whipper back "Oh, nice and chubby baby" *

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, little boy, come out.

But don't with the mallet hurt.

I'll make balloon "aminals."

Go away, clown man.

Oh, yeah, look, a little kitty cat.

Meowy-meow.

WAKKO: Go away!

Why is it taking Wakko so long to find us?

Beats me.

A puppy.

Hello, I'm a puppy.

[FAKE YIDDISH BABBLING]

WAKKO: Can you make a little cannon?

Yeah, I think so.

There. A cannon.

It blowed up at me.

Whoa-ho-ho, boy!

He really got the clown that time.

Oy, I gotta go home.

Hey! Where do you think you're going, clown?

I paid you to do an hour show.

But the puppy boy,

he hurts with the mallet and a balloon. Boom.

Get back to that water tower.

Oh, please, no. I'm not a well clown.

Go!

Yeah, bye.

Oh, baby, is that clown gonna get it. Yes!

There, there, Mr. Plotz.

I think we need to go back to the couch, yeah?

Hey, little birthday boy.

I got my little clown car.

[FAKE YIDDISH BABBLING]

Wanna see it?

Oh, the nice boy opened the door.

I'm in the sky.

[CRASHING]

I don't wanna do this no more.

[CAR SPUTTERING]

Boy, don't hurt me no more.

Oy! Don't with the booms!

Does this mean no booms?

[ECHOES] Boy?

[***]

[GRUNTING]

Oh, puppy boy.

Bye-bye, Mr. Clown.

[FAKE YIDDISH BABBLING]

YAKKO: Hey, Wakko!

Are you gonna look for us, or what?

I had to get rid of the clown.

You're it!

[***]

A clown is my friend.

BOTH: A clown is my friend.

OTTO: A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

BOTH: A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

[***]

CLOWN: * When the whippoorwill *

* Whippers in the wind *

* The wind can whipper back *

ALL: * "Oh, nice and chubby baby" *

I like it here.

[***]

Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world.

* They're Pinky and the Brain They're Pinky and the Brain *

* One is a genius The other's insane *

* To prove their mousy worth *

* They'll overthrow the Earth *

* They're dinky They're Pinky and the Brain *

* Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

[***]

Pinky, I believe I have conceived

my most brilliant plan to date.

I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world.

Pinky?

Today's inside story

is country megastar Willy Rae Cyprus.

* Don't tell my head My empty, hollow head *

PINKY & WILLY RAE: * You know I wouldn't understand *

* Yep, yep, yep *

Narf!

* Yep, yep, yep *

It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.

You have no idea.

[***]

Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is?

Something you leave

on a subliminal telephone answering machine?

No, it is a recorded message perceived only

by the subconscious human mind.

I have recorded such a message.

BRAIN [OVER RECORDER]: Citizens of the world,

you are under my control.

You will do whatever I say.

Nice mix, but it's not exactly danceable, is it?

If people heard this message enough times,

they would succumb to my control

and we could take over the world.

What do you think, Pinky?

I think I'm getting dizzy, and I rather like it.

[LAUGHING]

Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky.

[YELPS]

The only problem,

how to get this message repeated, worldwide airplay?

WILLY RAE [OVER TV]: * Don't tell my head *

* My empty, hollow head You know I *

* Wouldn't understand * I just adore Willy Rae.

I listen to his song 20 times a day.

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Well, I think so, Brain,

but burlap chafes me so.

Country music, Pinky.

I will go to Nashville

and become the biggest country-music star of all-time.

Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message,

and I will take over the world.

Egad, Brain!

Oh, but, no, no.

It takes people years of hard work to become famous, Brain.

Why, take Kathie Lee Gifford for example.

She did community theater and--

Stop talking, Pinky.

I must think.

I have calculated every ingredient necessary

to become a country-music megastar.

Read me the list, Pinky.

A "cowboy hat."

Check.

A "southern dialect."

Check, y'all.

Nice, Brain.

"Working-class values."

I enjoy beef jerky

and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.

"A song."

Check.

"A name consisting

of not less than three words."

From now on, I shall be Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check.

And "a height of at least six feet."

A--

Drat.

There must be some way for me to increase my height.

Hmm. Let me think.

Don't hurt yourself, Pinky.

[PANTING]

Faster Pinky, faster.

[PANTING]

[SHRIEKS]

[YELPS]

You amaze me, Pinky.

I do my best.

Proceed, Pinky.

Ki-yi-yippee-yi-yo.

How do I look?

Oh, very nice, Brain.

It's Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

You are my manager, Colonel Pinky.

You discovered me playing guitar

on the front porch of my humble pig farm.

Any questions?

Oh, just one.

When you farm humble pigs,

how far apart do you have to plant them?

If I could reach you, I would hurt you.

But for now, on to Nashville.

On to Nashville!

This is a pain that is going to linger.

[***]

[***]

Two tickets to Nashville, please.

Ooh-wee.

You're a tall drink of water, ain't ya, darling?

Actually, I am a lab mouse on stilts.

At least he didn't ask me to pull his finger.

Egad, Bippie Boop Bop Brain.

Road trips are so exciting.

It's Bubba Bo Bob Brain, Pinky.

Right. Sorry. Zort!

Concentrate, Pinky. Concentrate.

Yes.

This pain will definitely be with me a while.

[***]

PINKY: The "Rowdy Ranch Nightclub."

What are we doing here, Boobie Baa Baa Brain?

It's Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

And according to statistics,

an inordinate number of country western superstars

have gotten their start at this very establishment.

Egad!

[GASPS] Do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here?

One can only hope.

[PLAYING SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC]

* I am a telephone repairman *

* From this area *

When I give the signal, play the subliminal-message tape.

Right-o, Bippie Bebop Balloola.

Sometimes you frighten me, Pinky.

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

And now a newcomer,

Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

Howdy, you all.

Here's a little ditty I wrote.

Hope you enjoy it, you all.

[PLAYING SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC]

* I am a lab mouse I escaped from my cage *

* Never had a job *

* Never earned minimum wage *

He ain't half bad.

Ain't half good either.

* But you will respect me Yes *

* Once my plan is unfurled *

* You will call me Your leader *

* I'll be king of the world *

Now, Pinky.

BRAIN [OVER RECORDER]: Citizens of the world,

you are under my control.

You will do whatever l say.

Buy my record and listen to it 20 times a day.

Let's buy his record.

And listen to it 20 times a day.

[***]

I don't know about y'all, but I can't get enough of

[SNAPS FINGERS] Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

Let's hear it again.

Well, he's the hottest thing to hit Nashville

since my mama's jalape�o grits.

Here's Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

[CROWD APPLAUDS]

I'm your biggest fan. What do you say to that?

I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.

[CHUCKLES] Go on.

MEN: Yee-haw!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hey, Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

I just got back from France.

How'd you find it?

I used a map.

[BOTH LAUGH] [CROWD LAUGHS]

And the Country Tune Award for best male vocal goes to...

Bubba Bo Bob Brain!

Egad! Yippee!

Narf!

[LAUGHS]

You're embarrassing me, Pinky.

Pardon my effervescence,

but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits.

What's he saying?

I don't know.

I'd like to thank my mama

and Elvis.

Oh, how nice.

Well, isn't that nice?

I'm outside the Grand Ole Opry where tonight's concert

featuring country-music sensation Bubba Bo Bob Brain

is being televised worldwide.

In two words: Bubba is hot.

[PLAYING SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC]

* You gotta know How to cut 'em *

* Know how to shuffle *

* Know how to deal the cards *

* Before you play fish with me *

Do you realize what will happen

if the world hears my song just one more time?

An angel will get its wings?

No, Pinky.

My subliminal message will take permanent hold,

and the world will be under my control.

Oh, that.

Now,

do you remember what you have to do?

Yes. I need to make a dental appointment.

I have horrible plaque buildup.

The tape, Pinky, the tape.

Oh, right.

When you give the signal, I play the tape.

SINGER: And now I'd like to introduce...

This is it. I'm on.

Good luck, Booba Bip Bop Brain.

How many times do I have to tell you? My name is--

SINGER: Bubba Bo Bob Brain.

[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]

Yee-haw.

Let's start this hootenanny.

[PLAYING SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC]

* I am a lab mouse I escaped from my cage *

* Never had a job *

* Neverearned minimum wage *

* But you will respect me Yes *

* Once my plan is unfurled *

AUDIENCE: * You will call me Your leader *

* I'll be kingof the world *

Now, Pinky.

BRAIN [OVER RECORDER]: You are under my control.

You will do whatever I say.

BOTH: I will do whatever he says.

ALL: Whatever he says.

Whatever he says.

Whatever he says.

Way to go, Blubber Boo Bean Brain. Narf!

Do me a favor and forget my name.

While you're at it, forget you ever knew me.

Hey! Who's that skinny guy on-stage?

Who is he?

Get him off!

[CROWD SHOUTING] Boo!

I wanna see someone famous!

[GASPS]

[AUDIENCE HISSING AND BOOING]

Tonight's inside story.

A complete unknown somehow made it onto the stage

at the Grand Ole Opry.

Turn that off, Pinky.

I'm trying to concentrate on a better plan

for tomorrow night.

Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

Same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world.

* They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain *

* Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

[***]

It's that time again.

To remember the Alamo?

To do another one of our cute little skits?

No. It's time to learn the day's lesson.

And to find out what it is, we turn to...

the Wheel of Morality.

Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn.

YAKKO: Tell us the lesson that we should learn.

Moral number three.

And the moral of today's story is...

Elvis lives on in our hearts, in his music,

and in a trailer park outside Milwaukee.

I'm speechless.

Sort of gets you right here, doesn't it?

[BURPS]

Pardon.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

ALL: Yike!

[***]

[***]

ALL: "Flamiel."