Original subtitles

I realised something today. What?

That our wedding's gonna be perfect and nothing's gonna go wrong.

Don't jinx it. I didn't jinx it!

It's a very funny joke, guys. Yes!

OK. But it's over now, alright? What? (ALL LAUGH)

Ah! I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm getting married today!

Good luck. We'll see you at the wedding!

Macca! (ALL WHOOP)

Love you, Dan! I love you! Turn your lights on!

Macca!

Whoa! Watch out!

Hey, er...

Eddie!

Are you alright?!

(GRUNTS) God! Come on!

Macca!

(CLATTER)

Macca! Macca, for God's sake, help me.

Are you OK?

Are you alright?

Just stay on your feet, mate. Stay on your feet!

Shit!

(GRUNTS)

Macca. Macca. (WOMAN MOANS)

Eddie's hurt. Jeez! Shit, dude.

You've got a bad cut on your head. Here.

Just hold that there, alright?

Hold it there nice and tight, OK?

Jeff, no! Jeff! Don't move him!

Eddie. Eddie! Eddie!

They just came out of nowhere, man. (MOANING)

Is Eddie dead? (CRIES)

Jesus. If he's dead... Shut up. He's not dead!

Shit. Are you alright? Yeah.

I think so. OK, here. Put your hands down here.

There. Can you feel his pulse?

Yeah. OK.

I want you to tell me if it stops. OK? I'll get some help.

Come on, Eddie.

You're gonna be alright, mate. It's all gonna be all cool.

There's been an accident on...

..er, the... er, the-the-the main entrance to the national park.

(MOANS AND SCREAMS)

About four, maybe five, people injured.

No, don't! Don't do that! I've gotta get her out of here!

She might have a spinal injury. Don't touch her.

Don't touch her. You get away from her!

Get away! I'm a nurse!

I'm a nurse. It's OK. I'm... I'm here to help, OK?

I'm here to help. Here. Here.

Talk to the ambulance people. It's OK.

Yeah, my wife's trapped in the car.

(MOANS)

Are you really a nurse? Yeah.

I just... left my uniform at home.

Hmm. (MOANS)

Stay still, stay still.

Is Rescue on the way? Yeah. They're right behind us.

You hurt? I wasn't actually involved.

I saw the whole thing, but it's a long story.

Um, Doug, let the paramedics in there now.

Let's go over here.

I'll put this collar on you. Is she alright?

Yeah, she'll be fine. They'll take care of her.

Have a seat.

So, um, er, where were you headed?

The luggage is a bit of a giveaway. Holiday.

Lean forward.

I didn't see the van! Renee and I were talking and then...

It's OK, it's OK. Alright? I saw the whole thing.

It wasn't your fault. Dan!

Dan! Are you alright? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well... well what are you doing?

Shouldn't you be at home getting worried about the wedding?

Yeah, I hadn't thought about that.

The guy down there, just check for spinal injuries.

Yeah. Are you su...? I'm fine. I'm good.

Are you sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

GABRIELLE: OK, bed four we move up to a ward.

Happening as we speak.

All Subacute, bump them back into the waiting room.

I'm on it. Thanks.

How many casualties coming in? Five. Two critical.

Waiting time's up to eight hours. I'm clearing beds fast as we can.

But this is gonna cripple us, Frank. OK. I'll get Bart to come in.

Through to Subacute, mate.

I'll take that one in a second.

And I've got this one.

I've got Amy coming in as well.

This is Eddie. His GCS is 10.

He's hypotensive and tachycardic with frequent ectopic beats.

OK. Ready?

Hang on. Yep.

One, two, three.

Eddie, can you open your eyes for me, please?

I'm gonna shine a light in them.

Smells like a brewery. Yeah, I know.

He and his mates had a slab in the van.

Let's get AP and lateral chest C-rays.

Plus his mates pulled him out of the van before we got there.

Oh, terrific. And an urgent C spine. Yep.

Push the fluids through, please. Yep.

Hey, um, Dan's out there.

What?

At the accident site. What? Is he alright?

Yeah. He's alright. He's not hurt. He's pretty shaken up, though.

I think someone should tell Ricky. Not if I don't have to.

Who wants to be freaked out on their wedding day?

Gabby, X-rays. Now, please.

Yeah. Thanks.

Come here.

Hmm.

Look straight ahead for me.

Straight ahead!

Oh, you've been drinking.

So what?

Were you driving the van? No.

Macca was.

Jeff? Oh, man.

You know this clown? Yeah. He's Fred.

Hmm. Well, cannulate him and run some fluids.

I'll see if I can find a nurse to clean him up.

You know Dan's gonna kill you, right?

Wasn't my idea.

It was Luke's. He wanted to send his brother off to the altar in style.

Renee?

Just give them a sec to check her out.

She was worried about leaving the kids.

I said, "They're not babies anymore. They can look after themselves."

And now look what's happened.

Why did I do that?

Because you wanted to spend time with her.

And you will, OK?

But right now we have to get you both to hospital, OK?

No. I am not dicking around, Luke. They're all being brought in here.

No, Dan wasn't hurt but he saw the whole thing happen.

Mate, I gotta go.

Nearly cleared the waiting room.

I need you to concentrate on keeping things moving out there.

Sure. Eddie? Are you here? Eddie!

Come on.

My brother, he was hurt. Is he here? Yes, mate. He's here.

Amy, Triage. Remember?

This is a multiple-victim MVA

and we're stuck clearing low-category cases.

Doesn't that piss you off?

People don't stop coming to the waiting room just 'cause we're busy.

Well, it sucks. Yeah, maybe.

But that's what we're doing.

Homer, tell Jaeger I need a nurse.

Cool. Where are you going?

Dr Campion needs me.

Look straight ahead for me.

I'll get obs done.

Thought you were taking care of Triage.

Dr West said he'd do it.

Oh. Well, we'll need a blood alcohol test.

I haven't been drinking.

But you were the driver, mate, so the law says we gotta test ya.

Squeeze my hands. Hard as you can.

Good man. Good man. Can you find out how my brother is?

Please? Yes, mate. I will.

But let's look after you first, eh?

What is that?

That's a seatbelt injury.

Frank, the last victim from the MVA is on the way in.

About five minutes away. Apparently she's in pretty bad shape.

Take over here for me, will you? Yep.

He'll need a head CT and trauma series.

Mike's already been paged. Alright.

I need you to find out how Eddie is.

Um, he was unconscious and... Macca, listen to me.

We'll find out once we've finished here, OK?

NSA just went up. Thanks.

He's a lucky bloke. Yeah?

C spine's clear. That hard collar can come off.

Great.

Blood-alcohol level? Through the roof.

0.18.

Phew! Yeah.

Sternum? Fractured.

I've put a call through to the cardiothoracic surgeon.

He'll be here to review him ASAP.

Hmm! Good luck at this hour! Yeah. Yeah, I know.

We're gonna have to check his blood-sugar level as well.

We can't just assume it's the alcohol that's causing these symptoms.

(PANTS) Wh-wh-where am I?

Can you tell us, mate?

Stay down. Stay down. You've been injured.

He's gonna vomit. Let's roll him over on his side.

The last thing we need is him choking on his own vomit.

Deep breaths. (VOMITS)

You're right, mate. (VOMITS)

On my three. One, two, three.

(MUFFLED SCREAMS)

Give her something for the pain. As soon as we've assessed her, Doug.

Doug, where are you? I'm here, sweetheart.

I'm right here. I'm right here.

This the one who was trapped? Yeah.

Renee, this is Mike Vlasek. He's a surgeon.

How long was she trapped for? Over an hour.

Oooh! Sorry.

Fine red rash on the upper left quadrant.

Abdo's rigid.

What does that mean?

That could mean internal injuries.

Jesus. (GRUNTS)

We might get someone to take care of you while we look after your wife.

I wanna stay with her. Can you sort this man out?

See if you can find some clothes. Yeah. Come on, Doug.

No! I've been told to shut up and sit down ever since we crashed.

Do what you gotta. I'm not budging.

OK. See if Von's on the way in. (MOANS)

Good luck, Doug. Darling?

I'm still here, love. (MOANS)

Definitely internal bleeding. I'll get a theatre on stand-by.

Alright.

Renee? (ALARMS WAIL)

BP's dropping. O2 sats are down. Renee?!

She's in respiratory arrest. We'll have to intubate.

What's happening? What are you doing to her?

She's not breathing, mate. Sux and thio.

I'm sorry. I haven't paged Von in.

OK. As soon as she's in, can you let me know?

Yeah. Sure. You should go home, though.

Nah, not yet.

Are you OK? Yeah. I'm fine.

Dan. You're a stupid bastard.

You happy?

You've screwed up THE most important day of my life, Luke.

I am so sorry.

It was supposed to be funny. Five people are hurt, one critical.

Let's see how many chuckles you get out of that, huh?

Nice work, Luke. Hey, you know what?

Look, where are my mates?

Pick a cubicle.

It's definitely her spleen. What's her haemoglobin at?

FRANK: 6.6. What does that mean?

It means she has internal injuries

and we need to operate to stop the bleeding.

Do we have your permission? Of course. Do what you have to.

I'll get onto the Blood Bank. What do you want?

Four units crossmatched. Urgently. Yep.

She'll be OK, right? We'll do our very best.

Why don't you talk to her while we get things organised?

Renee, honey, it's me. You're gonna be OK.

We've got a bit of a problem. I can't operate. Not now, anyway.

What? Why?

The on-call team is

in the middle of putting a motorcyclist back together.

Bloody marvellous. DAN: What do we do?

Well, I put the call out for an anaesthetist and a scrub nurse

but there's nothing much I can do till they get here.

Well, what happens if we delay surgery?

She'll lose her spleen. Or her life.

I can't pull a theatre team out of thin air.

I can scrub in with you.

Dan, you can't. I have theatre experience.

You're getting married today. So we just let her die?

Thanks, Dan, but even if you do scrub up,

it's not much point without an anaesthetist.

Frank can do it. What?

You've done it before. I saw you. Dan!

Well... GABBY: BP's dropping.

What's happening to her? Push that O neg through.

I want a milligram of Aramine.

Renee, honey, you hold on, sweetheart.

This is my mess, Frank.

Help me clean it up. Please?

Let's go.

Dan, we're taking a bloody big risk

doing this without experienced theatre staff.

You haven't assisted in surgery for 100 years

and anaesthesia is bloody tricky.

I know all this, Frank.

You still wanna do it? Yeah. I do.

Oh, Von, this is Doug Silverman.

He's had a pretty tough night.

Can you look after him for us? Yes. Hi.

He'll need his wrist seen to and that head lac.

Frank, now or never.

Look after her. We will.

Doug? How will I know what's happening?

I'll make sure you're kept informed.

Was he in the accident too?

MACCA: I didn't see them.

You know what?

Next time you have a brilliant idea, keep it to yourself.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not my fault you crashed.

Well, how was I supposed to know

that someone would be driving around out there

at 4:00 in the morning?

Why wouldn't they? You guys were! You two, shut up.

Now, your head scan was clear. There's no bleeding on the brain.

Thank God for that. And your shoulder isn't broken.

So we're gonna put a couple of stitches in, then you can go.

What was his blood-alcohol level like?

I told you I wasn't drinking!

I find out you're driving my brother pissed, I will break your neck.

My brother was in the van too!

His blood-alcohol level was zero.

Now, can you please tell me how Eddie is?

Struggling to stabilise him.

And Jeff? So far, so good.

The woman, however, that was in the accident

has been rushed off to surgery

and Dan has gone with her to scrub in on the operation.

How long will that take? It's likely to be hours.

I'm gonna go check on Jeff, if that's OK.

Uh-huh.

O2 sats are at 96%.

She's as stable as she's ever gonna be and she's well sedated.

OK. Make sure you keep those blood and fluid transfusions going.

If those obs change at any time...

You'll be the first to know. Thank you.

Dan, I'm gonna need you standing by

with suction and swabs the second I open her up.

Why?

Because the abdominal swelling means her spleen may have ruptured.

Exactly. Not to mention anything else we might find inside her.

OK.

Let's do this.

BART: Well, it looks like your wrist is broken.

We're gonna have to do an X-ray to be sure.

Hi. Amy will organise that for you.

No. I'm OK, really.

Um, you've got glass stuck in your head.

They didn't even have their lights on.

All I remember was this screeching tyres

and this terrible crunch of metal and glass flying everywhere.

And my wife was sobbing and... It's alright.

I can't imagine how that was for you.

I hope you never have to.

But someone was watching out for us. What do you mean?

Well, how often do you have an accident right in front of a nurse?

If it wasn't for Dan,

I'd still be there trying to pull my wife out of the car.

That's full-on.

Yeah. His X-ray needs to be done as soon as possible.

The second he gets back,

have him showered and put into a gown so I can deal with the head lac.

Can't Von do that? The shower.

I mean, she's obviously bonded with him and to...

Von's here to organise after-hospital care

and provide emotional support.

She's not here to do your job for you.

There you go, my friend. Might make you feel a little better.

What's the matter?

He's having self-limiting runs of VT

and his blood pressure drops every time.

Well, we should intubate him in case he arrests.

No. If he vomits while we're doing it, he'll end up aspirating.

Better he aspirate than die. I said no.

Not without an anaesthetist to monitor his airway.

But we intubate people all the time.

Not people as drunk as he is, Gabby.

So either find me an anaesthetist or do the bloods, like I asked you to.

Certainly, Doctor.

Arrogant. Pig-headed. Deep-voiced.

"Oh, I'm a doctor. Why not...?"

I shouldn't be angry at Steve. I should be drinking champagne.

I should be getting excited about the wedding.

That's what I was about to say. What are you two doing here?

We're holding down the fort while the groom is in surgery.

What? No. He's assisting on an operation.

Why? It's a really long story.

I have to get these sutures done. So, sorry!

Is the wedding off?

I don't know. But it's time the bride knew what was going on.

What? I can't know this? Hang on.

Where's Frank?

He's also in theatre.

Hey, Ricky.

Yeah, it's me.

You were supposed to just drive him around for a bit and freak him out.

Yeah, I know.

But Macca came up with this great idea

to leave him in the national park.

Yeah, well, bloody excellent idea that turned out to be.

We were gonna go back and get him. That is not the point!

Jesus! Why did I ever think I could trust you dickheads?

(RETCHES) Jesus.

(CHOKES)

Hey. Hey, are you OK? (SPLUTTERS)

Hey! Hey, he's really sick.

What's his name? Jeff.

Jeff. Jeff, can you hear me?

What happened before the vomiting started?

Nothing. I was just talking to him.

Metoclopramide? 10mg IV.

We'll need to organise a head CT. Yep.

You need to give us some room.

Ah, what's that for? The CT thing?

Vomiting can mean a head injury.

Doug. Any news of my wife?

No. Er, sorry. Not yet. Why is it taking so long?

It's not unusual for operations to take hours.

Can you give me a sec?

I thought Amy said she was going to shower him.

Well, so did I. Yes. She brought everything in.

But I thought I could make some calls.

That'd be right. Oh, God. I'll do it.

I'll give you a yell when he's ready for the back slab.

Thanks, Von.

OK. Let's get you cleaned up. No!

Yes.

Then we may have news of your wife.

What's this for?

The second your mate comes back from Radiology, you're on vomit watch.

What? I...

In case you hadn't noticed, we are flat chat,

so chip in, do your bit, watch your mate, OK?

What were you thinking?

I'm really sorry.

Where's Dan?

He's still in theatre.

Why didn't you call me straightaway?

Because I thought he'd go home

as soon as the casualties were taken care of.

Then you don't know Dan as well as you think.

Listen, Ricky, just stay here...

Gabby? Yeah. Hang on.

Stay... Now. Now.

(GROANS)

VLASEK: More suction. I can't see a damn thing.

I'm doing my best. FRANK: O2 sats are dropping.

Increasing PEEP to 7.5.

We're gonna have to remove her spleen.

No! This bleeding's out of control.

So we take the easy way out? I never take the easy way out.

But she loses any more blood, she dies.

We don't try and save her spleen, she'll spend the rest of her life

fighting every infection going round.

Dan, that's not your call. I know.

We've got her this far. We owe her to keep trying.

Only if her surgeon thinks it's worth the risk.

How can it not be worth the risk? Dan! That's enough.

Nurse, get me FFP and platelets, quick as you can.

You're gonna keep going?

You're gonna keep going?

For now, yes.

Stapler.

1 milligram vitamin K. Let's see if we can get her blood to clot.

Thank you.

This is why we should have intubated him earlier.

Did you find me an anaesthetist to do it?

No. I didn't.

Nil output. I'm gonna defib.

You can't do that. He's not unconscious.

I know. Charging to 200.

Steve, he'll feel it! (DEFIBRILLATOR CHARGES)

Steve!

He'll fully arrest if I don't get his heart back into a decent rhythm.

You understand that? This is ridiculous.

Let go. Let go!

Clear. (SCREAMS)

No change.

Charging to 360.

What the hell are you doing to him? You need to step out, sir.

You're killing him. We're trying to save him. Step out.

I'm sorry, mate. Clear.

You want a 12-lead ECG?

Yeah, and we'll, er, need some bloods for a troponin level.

It hurts! I know, mate. I'm sorry.

Listen, let's get him some...

Let's get him some...

Paracetamol? Yeah, that'd be great.

Er, no. Er, yeah, yeah.

He's had too much to drink to have any narcotics.

OK. And, um... and the burns?

Let's get some cream on them.

(GROANS)

Sorry.

See if I can organise a bed in Coronary Care for him.

What the hell was that all about?

His heart wasn't pumping correctly.

So you thought you'd torture him? See if it helped?

Now's not the time, mate.

Look, I know we did a stupid thing,

but that doesn't give you the right to treat us like shit.

You rammed your brother into another vehicle.

That fractured the bone around his heart.

'Cause he had more alcohol in his system than any human needs,

it made it very difficult for us to treat him properly.

So, before you go looking for someone to blame,

just remember who was behind that bloody wheel, mate.

Now, excuse me.

You did well, Dan.

Are you going to follow her through to ICU?

Yes. She's lost a lot of blood. Next couple of hours are gonna be crucial.

Um, do you mind if I don't go up with you?

What? You've got a wedding to go to. Go on.

I'll let the husband know what's going on.

OK.

They're not gonna forget today in a hurry.

Nope.

Does your mum know what's happened?

I can't believe Luke would be so stupid.

She'll kill him when she finds out. (GRUNTS)

What's wrong?

Talk to me.

(SIGHS)

I just wanted today to be perfect.

Oh, it will be. From now on it will be.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

What is it?

(SIGHS)

Hey. Hey.

Right. Heaps to do, not a lot of time to do it in.

Sheep won't shear themselves. Let's go.

The wedding's off.

What? What?

Well, it's not off, exactly. It's just postponed.

Yeah. Can you, um...

Where's Doug Silverman?

Um, Subacute.

Ricky, what's going on?

Well, after everything that's happened today,

we just thought it was better that we waited a little while,

just until the dust settles.

Can I use your office? I need to call my parents.

Yeah, sure. Hey, Rick...

Is she alright? I don't think so.

This sucks! What sucks?

Er... Mmm. What's... what happened?

Are those Jeff's scans?

Um, yes, they are.

Please tell me he's OK.

Um, well, there's no evidence of bleeding in the brain.

Well, thank God for that.

But we will admit him to a ward and observe him overnight

and repeat the head scan in the morning, just to be sure.

Hey. He'll be alright.

Was it Dan's idea or yours?

His.

But I completely understand.

I wouldn't wanna have to paint a smile on my face

after a day like today.

No, I suppose not.

I want him to be able to enjoy our wedding as much as me.

Yeah, of course.

This is no way to start a marriage, with this hanging over our heads.

Oh, Ricky. Hey.

(SOBS)

It's not fair. I know. It's not.

I just wanna get married, that's all.

I know.

Is she really alright? Mm-hm.

The surgeon managed to save her spleen,

so we're hoping that there won't be any ongoing problems.

We've organised for you to see her as soon as Dr West is finished here.

I'm almost done.

We need to organise some antibiotic cover and get a tetanus shot done

and then you're good to go.

OK. Amy can do that. Thanks, Von.

Yeah, Von. Thanks for that.

Yeah, you've done enough.

Oh. How thoughtful.

Where is she, exactly? She's in Intensive Care.

Mike Vlasek is up there and he'll answer all your questions.

Thanks. Thanks so much.

Dan? Got a second?

Yeah, sure. Um, I'll see you up there.

What's wrong?

Now, I heard a little rumour that you've postponed your wedding.

(SIGHS) Yeah. Ricky and I, we've talked about it.

Oh, did you now?

Look, I'm too tired for games, Frank, OK?

Look, I'm too tired for games, Frank, OK?

So you're not getting married because you're too tired?

No, of course not.

I've still got to sort out stuff with my brother.

Ricky had all this stuff planned.

She has hair appointments. She had all this stuff.

Very neat excuses, little boy. Excuses?!

Do you have any idea of what went on today, Frank?

I think I do.

You were put in a position - through no fault of your own -

where you had to save lives, and you did that.

So if that means that you're not gonna marry the girl that you love,

maybe you should do her a favour and just walk away.

Or else you can stop being a bloody idiot and go and get married!

You'll need to see your GP in a week's time to get the stitches out

and this tells you what to look for, regarding the head injury.

Thanks.

Can you tell me where they've taken my brother?

Yeah, sure. Coronary Care. Fourth floor.

Is he OK?

He's stable.

There's a chance he might end up in theatre in the next couple of days

to fix the fractured sternum.

But in the meantime, he'll need to be monitored closely.

The damage to his heart, it could be permanent.

And if it is? Well, just one step at a time, OK?

Hey, listen, man.

About what I did before to your brother,

I'm really sorry that you had to see that.

Well, like you said, it's my fault he's in here.

Hey? Hey!

Was a good thing you just did then.

You sound surprised.

No, I just...

I thought that you thought they were a couple of drop kicks, so...

So I wouldn't do the right thing by them professionally?

That's not what I said.

You of ALL people should know better than that.

Steve!

(SIGHS) (SCOFFS)

Not often you see a doctor in here.

Not often a doctor has to be.

Sorry, that sounded...

Like you had something on your mind? No.

You've been working with Amy today.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't exactly call it 'working'.

What do you mean? Come on, spit it out, Bart.

I don't like her. I beg your pardon?

I don't mean personally, although she's lazy.

She doesn't follow instructions.

I don't think it's fair on other nurses to pick up her slack.

Oh. I just thought you should know.

Yeah, alright. I'll... handle it.

Hey. How's your day going?

Oh, not bad. Yours?

Oh, I could live without it, personally.

Listen, it's come to my attention that you might be a bit shaky

on the whole 'teamwork' thing that we have going here.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm not sure that it's anything to smile about, Amy.

If you're not doing what's being asked...

This came from Dr West, right?

Doesn't matter who it came from. Yeah, it does, actually.

If he bothered asking me for an explanation

instead of running to you...

You would have said what?

That I was too embarrassed to shower a man old enough to be my father.

Von did it for me and I already thanked her for it,

so I'm sorry if that doesn't make me as good as the rest of the nurses...

Hang... hang on.

Dr Campion told me it would be hard to find my feet here,

but I thought I'd at least have the support of my boss.

If you were feeling uncomfortable you should have come to me, not to Frank.

He was worried about me. Why?

Because he's my uncle.

She'll need to be in hospital for a couple of weeks at least.

That long?

Yeah, well, she's lost a lot of blood

and there's the leg injuries to contend with.

More surgery?

Yeah, but not until she's stable enough.

We'll pull through. We always do.

I'm so sorry about all of this.

If I wasn't supposed to be getting married today

none of this would have happened.

If I hadn't wanted a holiday so much it wouldn't have happened either.

I'll leave you to it.

Thank you for everything. You're welcome.

How long have you been together?

20 years.

That's what the holiday was all about -

to celebrate our anniversary.

We didn't have a honeymoon.

Renee was pregnant. Couldn't face the idea of travelling.

Huh! Best laid plans, eh?

Yeah.

And here we are again. Another holiday down the tube.

Oh, well.

As long as we're together. That's what really matters.

So it's off? Yes, it's off.

I don't believe it. I need to get to the wedding venue.

There's some guests I couldn't get hold of

and they're gonna find the place deserted, so I'm gonna...

Anything we can do? No, I'm fine.

Ricky...

Can't talk about it right now. Got lots to do.

DAN: Ricky? What?

I, uh...

Is it too late?

For what? To get married. Is it too late?

Are you serious? You're changing your mind?

Yeah, I am.

But, um, well I've missed my hair appointment

and don't have my makeup done.

I don't care about any of that.

Ricky, you're beautiful and I wanna marry you today,

so what do you say?

Do... do we still have time to get ready?

Hell, yes! (ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY)

Mum's gonna kill me.

No, she's gonna kill YOU. I don't give a crap!

We'll call her on the way. See you at the reception!

Waiting times are down 90 minutes

and I'm not even supposed to be on duty today, so...

Go. Yes!

Mate, we've got things to do. Gotta get you outta these scrubs.

Just... just... just give us a sec.

Where do you think you're rolling? Can you let me outta here, please?

No! Don't, alright?

Look, I screwed up and...

Yeah, you did, but we don't have time for you to sulk about it right now.

I know, so...

Can you go and get married?

I'll give an excuse to Ma about why I'm not going so she won't freak.

No way! Dan, don't you get it?

You could have been in that van when it crashed.

I could have got you killed. Yeah, I know that.

Look, I'm here, aren't I?

Don't get me wrong, Luke, OK?

The second I get back from my honeymoon

I'm kicking the living crap outta you,

but right now I need my master of ceremonies.

I need someone to keep Mum off my back.

Come on, I need to get ready, so shut up. Let's go.

I hope you'll be coming.

Ooh, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

(FOGHORN BLARES IN DISTANCE)

(MUTTERS NERVOUSLY)

Stop doing that. Doing what?

Checking your watch every 10 seconds.

I'm not. You're giving me the irrits.

I didn't think I'd be so nervous.

(WAGNER'S 'BRIDAL CHORUS' PLAYS) (CLEARS THROAT)

BREE: She's so beautiful.

You gonna be a big girl about this? No, just...

Thanks, Dad.

You take care of my girl. I will, I promise. Thank you!

Hey, you. Hi.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Aw, come here. Ooh!

(ALL CHUCKLE)

(QUIETLY) Get a bucket of water.

Bloody fire hose, more like.

Dan! Wrong end of the ceremony.

Sorry, got a bit carried away.

You ready? Good to go.

Yeah. Oh, me too.

(CLEARS THROAT AND CHUCKLES)

CELEBRANT: We're here today to celebrate

the marriage of Dan and Erica,

to witness their vows and to share in their joy.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I love you, Ricky,

and I wanna spend the rest of my life laughing with you

and encouraging you and comforting you.

You're my best friend, you're my soul mate,

and I wanna be there for you when you need me

and for you to be there for me too.

RICKY: When our love is simple and when it is an effort,

I promise to stand by you every step of the way.

(CHUCKLES)

There rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.

Love freely given has no beginning and no end.

May they remind you always of the vows you have taken today.

Dan and Erica, as you have consented today in lawful marriage

in the presence of your family and your friends,

it's my pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife.

(ERICA AND DAN CHUCKLE)

Now you can kiss her. Oh, yeah.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Ah! Thank you very much.

You're a gentleman.

Hi, gorgeous. Ooh, doctor! WOMAN: He looks nice.

How was it? Perfect.

Really? Yep.

Vlasek. Hello.

OK, everyone, grab yourselves a drink.

Ah. Easier said than done!

Bart, you are a scholar.

Could you all please raise your glasses

to the maid of honour and the best man.

(ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD)

FRANK: Make a handsome couple, don't they?

And now for the newlyweds!

(ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD)

The dress is amazing. It's beautiful, isn't it?

You're such a show-off. I can be classy.

Get yourself a drink.

You deserve it. Thank you.

I'd like to start tonight by proposing a toast.

To, um... to absent family and friends.

ALL: To absent family and friends.

The bride and groom have asked me

to outline the proceedings for this evening,

and they are as follows...

..have an awesome night.

(ALL CHUCKLE, CHEER AND APPLAUD)

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)

MAN: Whoo! Go! (CHUCKLES)

FRANK: Isn't that sweet?

Anyway, so there I am on my Pat Malone in front of the altar,

feeling like a shag on a rock,

just about to tell everybody that the bloody wedding's off,

and in she waltzes, like nothing's happened.

We didn't say a word to each other the whole bloody honeymoon.

Fascinating, Frank.

Best holiday I ever had. (CHUCKLES)

And on that note, Frank, you wanna share a cab?

No. Great. I'll see you all later.

'Bye, Mike. Thanks for trying.

Dance with me, Bart.

Your father would have been so proud of you.

Everything that's happened

and the fact that you're still speaking to your brother.

Yeah, well, that was just a bad idea that went wrong.

You happy? Happiest I've ever been.

You don't like parties much, do you?

I wouldn't say that.

Hey. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

(CAMERA BEEPS)

Oh, my God! (BOTH CHUCKLE)

What's their story?

Now, that is the $1 million question.

Would you like something to drink? Er, yeah.

Um... Hmm?

I'm gonna make my move.

What? Where are you going?

Talk to Amy.

You know she's Frank's niece, don't you?

Waiter? Hello! Hi.

Can you, um...

(GIGGLES)

..keep 'em coming?

LUKE: Er, excuse me. Excuse me.

Um, now, all good things must come to an end,

and unfortunately it has come to that point of the night

where we must farewell our newlyweds, so if you could please...

(ALL APPLAUD)

Congratulations. Mwah! Thank you. Love you.

Welcome to the family. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, don't forget the bouquet. Throw the bouquet.

HEATH: You're pathetic. Why?

(ALL CHATTER)

You're all welcome. Just hop back.

We're ready.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. OK.

Arms down. It's only fair. Everyone start with your arms down.

Go.

(ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD) (GROANS)

No! Go.

(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD AND WHISTLE)

Go talk to him. What? Who?

(CHUCKLES) Who? Steve.

You've had your eyes on him the whole night.

Have not! (CHUCKLES)

I don't... Anyway, it's none of your business.

So, whatever! Whatever! Whatever!

Well, I think it's time we get you home.

No, I'm not going home. I'm staying here.

Come on, come on, come on. No, I don't wanna. (CHUCKLES)

I don't need a minder. Well, you need something.

Oh, well, you... you choof off. Choof, choof, choof, choof.

Yeah, well, I'll choof off once you go home.

(SLURS) Hey. What?

(CHUCKLES)

(CHATTER CEASES)

(ASTONISHED GASPS)

(SIGHS)

Getting you a cab.

He's getting me a cab.