Original subtitles

- My powers of destruction had reached dizzying heights.

Lady Parts would not play Sound Smash on account of my--

- Play something. - Amina, come on.

- I, the unwilling saboteur, had carpet bombed

everything the band had wanted.

I didn't deserve to be a part of Lady Parts.

They weren't the only ones I had let down.

- I would never just leave your party, FYI.

It was my engagement party, Amina.

And you just disappeared. - Sorry.

I couldn't tell Noor the real reason I left.

But I wanted to tell her something true.

He doesn't like me. - What?

- Ahsan, he's--

he's just not into me.

- He what? - It's over.

I mean, it never really was anything.

So.

- Babe.

- Yeah. I don't know.

I just ruin everything.

For Lady Parts. For Noor.

I should just wear a sign, "ruiner of lives."

[rock music]

Dreams dashed, back to the grind.

They dystopian monotony. The symphony in grey.

- Excuse me, sir. Would you like to--

- The grind. A concerto of the mundane.

The grind.

Grinding you down into a soft powder of pure, uncut rage.

Only Momtaz refused to accept our audition failing.

She was going to put Lady Parts on the map,

no question about it. Her modus operandi?

Incessantly posting band-related content.

A call to the masses.

A movement for radical transformation.

An entreaty to change the world one chord at a time.

Please like and subscribe. - Hmm.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- One thing was clear.

The band was better off without me.

My place was here among the algae.

Ah! - Sorry!

Sorry, I just-- - Hi.

- Sorry. Hi, hello.

- God, you can't just walk from the shadows

like some creepy axe murderer.

- Well, that's a step up from male escort, right?

- [chuckles nervously]

- So this is the lab, huh? - Mm-hmm.

- It's very lab-y.

Test tube.

Classic.

I'm sorry the gig didn't go as planned.

Ayesha told me. Just wanna check you're okay.

- Yeah, I'm all right. Considering I single-handedly

dismantled everything they had been working for.

- Wow.

You've got some nerve being here.

- Oh, hi. Yeah, I was just going.

- Leading girls on. What is that?

Some sort of sport for you?

- No. Yeah, no, sorry.

- Listen, she might look desperate, but she's not.

She's a strong independent woman.

And you are a sad, pathetic little man.

- Yeah, that's exactly what my mum said.

Sorry. Bye.

- It's actually chilling how vile he is.

- Yeah. Chilling.

Ahsan had done his duty as my fake man.

And here I was, back on the shelf.

There was only one matriarch standing.

Alas, dear vessel of creative life.

I release you from my quaking unworthy hands.

May you find solace elsewhere.

[dramatic choir singing]

♪ ♪

[door entry bell dings]

Saira? - Mm-hmm?

- Sorry. I um--

I wanted to apologise for, like,

messing up the audition and crushing your dreams.

I--I wanted to return Fabio.

- Fabio? - I mean, your guitar.

- Is that what you want? - I can't play with you.

You saw me. I--I can't perform.

- You froze. You didn't puke.

That's progress.

If you wanna be in the band, I will do everything

in my power to help you get over your anxiety.

Only if you want it.

- Why would you help me? - I don't know.

I think you're good.

[soft guitar music]

♪ ♪

- I can't believe she didn't tell me.

Having a sister is the kind of thing

you tell people you're close to.

- Look, I'm not saying that Saira's not great, man.

I'm just saying come along tonight.

Meet Layla. You'll like her.

She's always asking about you.

She is serious. Allow Saira.

- No. Don't allow Saira.

Just give her space. She'll come around.

- Come on. She barely considers him.

She didn't tell him about her dead sis.

She always puts the band first.

Cut and run, bro. Cut and run.

- So, just so I'm fully clear on what you have just said.

You have just said, in front of our female child no less,

if a woman puts her work before a man,

it is reason enough to, as you put it, "cut and run"?

- Uh--no, no. No, I mean--

you have done it brilliantly, babe.

You've got the family unit and the art both co-existing

in happy symbiosis.

Right? - Mm.

Daughter, I think we should depart from this place

before we choke on the fumes of this toxic masculinity.

- Okay. Bye, Papa.

Bye uncle Abdullah. - Bye, baby.

- See you later.

- Mm-mm.

- Look, come along tonight, yeah?

Meet Layla. You'll like her.

- Come to your poetry night? It's not really my scene.

- It is a spoken word evening, actually.

[brakes squealing]

- Why are we stopping?

[doors thudding]

Excuse me. I didn't ask for an Uber pool.

- Oh, I think you did, sir.

The system gets confused sometimes.

- 'Sup. - Hey.

- Yo, yo, yo, my people. - Do you know these people?

- No, man. - Check it out.

This is the woman who's gonna put us on the map.

- I am a woman of colour.

I seek to elevate women of colour.

I advocate for women of colour. I create for women of colour.

- My God. Turn that shit off, man.

I'm gonna be sick. - It's annoying,

but I appreciate the sentiment. - Who is this sociopath?

- This sociopath is Zarina Zee.

The influencer who retweeted us and kindly directed

some much needed online traffic our way.

She wants to meet us.

So we gotta show her we dig her vibe.

Ultimate fan girls.

- Excuse me. I am very late.

- Chill, Winston.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Saira's offer to help had left me with a choice.

Did I want to be in the band?

♪ ♪

I can't deny, it did feel quite good.

- I'm devastated for you. - What?

- Ahsan. - Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Sure, we had the occasional disagreement.

- She's dead! - Some men are just dogs.

- I heard he only dates white girls.

- Oh. - Typical.

- But somehow, it just felt right.

[all shouting]

- Wow. - Thank you all

for holding space with me. I just--I'm sorry.

I need to--I forgot to check on my fungal growth...

in the lab.

Experiment.

- We need to impress her. So please behave.

- Do you reckon her face is frozen in, like,

a constant pout? Like, "Hey, guys.

Welcome to my channel. Like and subscribe."

- Yeah, do you reckon she'll orgasm

if I double tap her on the forehead?

- Stop it. - [laughs]

- Okay. So she should be here somewhere.

[gasps] And there she is.

- Hey.

[singing in foreign language]

♪ ♪

- When I saw that video, I was, like, dead.

Like, actually dead.

Such strength and sisterhood.

You guys are serving up a real feminine power

that has me, like, actually dead.

- Appreciate you. - Too kind.

- Your feminine power has us actually dead too.

- Aw, thanks, hun.

So then, I was desperate to meet you guys.

Because obvs, you guys are queens, and I'm a big fan.

- We're fans of you, queen.

- Anyway, as the new culture editor

of Yellow Tongue Magazine--

I know, humble brag, humble brag, humble brag--

I would like my first main feature to be on you guys.

On Lady Parts.

- Fuck no. Yellow Tongue?

No.

That is some bottom of the barrel shit.

- It's the most read online publication.

- Most read online publication, or most clicked?

- That's some real bourgeois snobbery for a Marxist.

- Let's see. "Yellow Tongue."

Ooh, here's a hard-hitting piece.

"Legoland on Acid."

Ooh, a quiz. What percentage sex pest am I?

- Yeah, so it's got some lower brow stuff for the punches,

but it does great journalism.

Like that series on burgeoning music scenes

in war-torn countries.

"Sex, Drones, and Rock n Roll." It was legit.

And Zarina is the real deal. If you'd met her, you'd get it.

- It's possible, but Amina pretty much

quit the band today.

- Forget Amina. She's done her bit.

She auditioned with us. It didn't work out.

- Still, no lead guitarist, no band.

No band, no damn interview.

[door entry bell dings]

- I wanna be in the band. I want to play.

Yes! Feels so good to say it.

Whoo! I'm in.

- Sick. - Looks like we have a band.

I'm setting up the interviews. - Yeah, yeah, whatever.

We're gonna fix you. Kick this stage fright

once and for all. - Great.

How?

- Saira's plan was simple, yet terrifying.

I, Amina Hussain,

would conquer my anxiety through the medium of poetry.

- I sip the blood from your red lips.

Sip. Sip.

S--

[chuckles]

[snapping applause]

- Abdullah is full of charm and quirk.

You'll love him. Everyone does.

And yeah, it's not usual for him to be late.

He'll be here soon.

- The real slim shady has a foot fetish.

[snapping]

The real slim shady is harbouring

feelings of inadequacy.

[snapping]

[snapping applause]

- I didn't think I could do this.

Saira, I can't do this. - Why not?

- My poem, it sucked.

My poem, it sucks.

- It doesn't matter. - I was freaking out.

I think I'm freaking out.

- Good. Feel the fear.

Really feel the fear and do it anyway.

Move through it. - What?

- The revolution will not be circumcised.

[snapping applause]

- Oh.

- Thank you.

Um, please, next up, can we have... Saira?

Um--Saira!

[snapping applause]

- Didn't know you were gonna be here.

- So?

'Sup.

Yeah, I'm Saira.

I'm gonna speak some words.

These words aren't mine.

They were written by Faiz Ahmed Faiz.

My granddad's favorite poet.

So, yeah.

I wanna dedicate this to a new friend.

[clears throat]

Speak,

for your two lips are free.

Speak,

for your tongue is still your own.

This straight body still is yours.

Speak,

your life is still your own.

See how in the blacksmith's forge,

flames leap high and steel glows red,

padlocks opening wide their jaws.

Every chain's embrace outspread.

Time enough is this brief hour.

Until body and tongue lie dead.

Speak,

for truth is living yet.

Speak,

whatever must be said.

[snapping applause]

- There he is.

Damn. Okay.

Are you gonna introduce us?

- Ah.

Let's move on, shall we?

Next up, we have Amina.

Do we have an Amina? - Here.

Go on. You can do this.

I'm right here, okay?

[snapping applause]

- Abdullah? - Yeah.

- Layla. Hi, how are you doing?

[snapping applause]

- [exhales]

Feelings are like... flowers.

They... bloom.

They... wither.

They...

Perish. Sorry.

This is--sorry, I--sorry, I don't think I can do this.

Look, I just--I'm just trying to play--

play, you know, play...

in a band.

A band. Mad.

Mad, right?

Bu--but I can't.

I keep--I keep--I keep-- [laughs]

This. [laughs]

Basically. [giggles nervously]

But I really like it. The band, it's like...

Godzilla. [laughs]

I--I mean, I think um...

after she destroys the city.

Really calm,

mindful she must feel.

I don't know, I don't know. I mean, I--I think, "Godzilla."

[laughs uncontrollably]

You know what? I--I really like it.

I just--I just--I just--I just--I just--mm.

I don't want

to puke anymore.

Okay?

[exhales]

I just want to play.

- Whoo! [laughs]

[snapping applause]

You did it. - I did?

- Yeah. - [laughs]

- Now we're getting somewhere.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- [giggling]

♪ ♪

- Let's get out of here, huh?

- Okay. Sure.

- Saira, it's not what you think.

Saira.

Saira. Saira, wait.

I don't know who she is. I mean, her name's Layla.

I've never met her before. Wasim wanted me to meet her.

I--I didn't-- - It's cool, it's fine.

- Yeah, it's nothing. - It wasn't working out

with us anyway, was it?

So let's call it.

Noble effort, yeah?

- Wait. Saira.

Saira, seriously?

What the fuck? Saira!

- You were fucking amazing. Amazing.

- Thanks for your help.

So who was that guy?

- My boyfriend.

Well, was. - What?

- My fucking boyfriend. Fuck!

Just back off.

You wanna waterboard me about it?

Fuck.

- Sorry.

Do you wanna stay at mine?

- Stay at yours? - Mm-hmm.

- What, like a sleepover?

My mum never let me go to sleepovers.

- Yeah.

Sleepover. Why not?

Could be fun.

- You're in a punk band? - Yes, Ma.

- Vah! And you haven't been--[retches]

- Mm-mm. - Or--[farts]

- Well, Saira's actually helping me

get over my stage fright, so.

- Well, alhumdulillah.

Thank you, Saira.

- Thank you, Saira.

- It's no problem.

- This is so exciting.

- [chuckles] Oh, you know,

I met Don McLean, hmm?

Well, when I was in Washington. - Yes, Baba.

No one cares. - Oh.

- Why didn't you tell us?

"Lady Parts."

Great name.

[soft guitar music]

♪ ♪

[line beeps] - Hey, it's Abdullah.

Leave a message. [voicemail beeps]

- Yeah. Hey.

Um... it's me.

Hope you're... having a nice evening?

I just--

Her name is Ruksana.

My big sister.

But she made everyone call her Roxy 'cause she hated her name.

I thought Roxy was pretty stupid too.

But she liked it.

She was 16...

when she died.

Leukaemia.

Okay, this is weird. Sorry.

- [automated voice] Message deleted.

- Ugh!

[soft guitar music]

♪ ♪

- Yes. Was he right?

- Uh-huh. - Give me a high five, man.

That was it. - [chuckles]

- Morning.

- Hey, little baby. - Oh, Amina, Amina, Amina.

Taz's influencer person has got us a gig tonight.

- Tonight?

- You've got this.

Hmm?

- Mm? Mm-hmm.

Maybe Saira was right.

After all, last night I had performed poetry

without excretions of any sort.

I was ready for anything.

But not for this.

- Fuck me. We're fucked.

- Taz, what is this?

- Shit. Okay, I didn't know

it was this kind of place.

- [chuckles nervously]

- We've just set up in the back.

Isn't it perfect? - Perf, totes perf.

- It's not really our scene. - Exactly.

"Lady Parts takes on racist Britain."

- These people aren't necessarily racist.

- Guys, I think I'm experiencing fear.

- Give us a song then, sweetheart.

- Your husband let you out of the house tonight, did he?

[laughter]

- I felt like we were in the firing line

ready for our court martial.

[breathing nervously] - Boo.

[laughter]

- We are Lady Parts.

Here's a little something we thought you might like.

- [laughs] - Fucking waste of my time.

[intense guitar chord]

- Bloody hell.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Tumble out of bed, and stumble to the kitchen ♪

♪ Pour myself a cup of ambition ♪

both: ♪ And yawn and stretch and try to come to life ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Jump into the shower and the blood starts pumpin' ♪

♪ Out on the streets, the traffic starts jumpin' ♪

both: ♪ For folks like me, on the job from nine to five ♪

♪ Workin' nine to five ♪

- They hated us.

But nothing bothered Saira.

She was unfazed.

It was kind of... cool.

[sighs] Time for my solo.

Time to play.

Come on, hands. Come on!

Ah!

[electric guitar melody]

- Yay! Amina!

♪ ♪

- Yes, Amina!

♪ ♪

- It was happening.

I was playing!

♪ ♪

Oh, my God. - [laughs]

- Yay! - Yeah!

- Whoo!

- ♪ They let you dream just to watch them shatter ♪

♪ You're just a step on the boss man's ladder ♪

all: ♪ But you got dreams he'll never take away ♪

- Turn it in, will ya?

- ♪ On the same boat with a lot of your friends ♪

♪ Waiting for the day your ship will come in ♪

all: ♪ The tide's gonna turn and it's all gonna ♪

♪ Roll your way ♪

both: ♪ Working nine to five ♪

♪ What a way to make a living ♪

♪ Barely gettin' by ♪

♪ It's all taking, and no giving ♪

all: ♪ It's a rich man's game ♪

♪ No matter what they call it ♪ - Boo!

- ♪ And you'll spend your life ♪

all: ♪ Putting money in his wallet ♪

all: Yeah!

- We had done it. We had performed.

We were a real band. A proper live band.

True, the crowd weren't exactly going wild.

But this was a victory, and the only way was up.

Or so we thought.

[dramatic guitar music]

♪ ♪

[all shouting]

[rock music]

♪ ♪