Original subtitles

Announcer: Previously on

"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

- Tell me about the trip you're planning.

- Go down to Del Mar--

We're doing a sand bath and I think a boat.

- Good afternoon, Miss Girardi.

Welcome to Grand Del Mar. - Hi.

- Hi, guys. - Oh, what's happening?

- My dog does this.

[sea lion growls]

[upbeat music]

- Sutton Stracke, stop it.

- It's okay. I'm not in pain.

- What about you and Erika?

- I don't really want to knock on the door.

- I know he was unconscious for 12 hours.

I mean the headache that-- - Allegedly yeah.

Mm-hmm.

- You're the one who told us this information.

- My whole life I've had to try to fit in.

- But you fit in here. - You do fit in.

- It doesn't always feel like that.

- I really am glad that you're saying this,

but I can still feel issues going on.

- I was only asking questions.

- Why are you speaking to me? I have nothing to say to you.

Yesterday was the hearing for Tom's conservatorship.

- Right.

- But I don't think that he needs to be in a home.

[sighs]

Want to know who your friends are?

Get old and go broke.

[dramatic music]

- This town is a game of chess.

But no one's taking this queen down.

- My lips are legendary

and they will never gloss over the truth.

- If you want a starring role in my life,

you better drop the act.

- Dress like there's no tomorrow.

And then tomorrow, do it again.

- Anyone who doubts my exquisite manners

can kiss my exquisite derriere.

- Hollywood is full of pretenders,

and I slay them all.

- The strongest substance on earth

isn't diamonds, it's me.

♪ ♪

[upbeat pop music]

- We're going to go to Temecula

for a little vino tasting.

- Whoo!

- Got that knee rover rolling.

Crystal's in the bathroom. Erika is not coming.

- Oh, she's not coming? - She's not coming.

- She's not coming. And Dorit--

This is where Dorit is.

Yes, she's looking out the window.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

- Oh, there's the last one. She always keeps us waiting.

- Thank you.

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- Who's ready for drinking? - Hi.

- Who is ready?

- Oh no.

It's a spill on the roadie.

- It is a lot warmer than I thought.

- Hi there.

- It's beautiful, isn't it?

- Beautiful.

- All right, ladies, I am Jared.

I'm going to take you on one of my cable car wine tours.

But first, we're at Lorimar

where I'm going to get you guys some wine to start.

- Yes. - [laughs]

- Okay, what do you need? You good?

- Can you get on this? - Well, yes.

It is a four-wheeler ATV. - [laughs]

- Who's ready?

We're going to start off with a rosé.

[cork pops] - Whoo!

- Oh. - There we go.

- I haven't tried Temecula wines before,

but let's explore.

- Thank you.

- I like wine that doesn't have too many tannics,

or too sweet, or too oaky.

I'm like one of the three little bears.

- This is so good. - It's nice, yeah.

- Do you do the five Ss with this?

- What's the five Ss? - Sight, smell, no.

Not with a sparkling.

- Kathy, what are the five Ss?

- Wait, what is it?

Sniff, sip, swirl-- wait, swirl.

- That's not the right order. [laughs]

- What is it?

The five Ss are see,

sniff, swirl, and sip.

[plucky acoustic music]

♪ ♪

- So welcome. This is our 1914 cable car--

- It is. It's a cable car from San Francisco.

Who has a glass for me?

- That is the dry white. Do you want that?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Whoo! - Hold on, ladies.

[trolley bell rings]

- Should we just dump this?

- You may dump it over the side.

- I don't wanna waste it.

- Pretty. Look at that, you guys.

That's pretty.

- That's pretty.

- I was going to say cheers,

but in Farsi, we say salamati.

All: Salamati.

- Salamati. - Love that--salamati.

- Yeah, it's so good.

[relaxed, casual music]

- Oh, I like that very much.

- This one's my favorite. - This is delicious.

- Yeah, a little bit bolder too.

- This one's my favorite one.

- So this is our Ruby Rose.

- Ooh. - Oh gosh. That's so pretty.

- Interesting. Interesting.

- It's, like, a little sweet, but not too sweet.

- Very smooth. - But smooth.

- Yeah, we're scientists.

We're able to figure this all out.

[laughter] - All right, ladies.

Are you guys ready for the next one?

All: Yes. - All right.

- Oh, my God. My hair.

Help. What's happening?

- Whoo-hoo! - [laughs]

[trolley bell rings]

- Cheers, suckers!

- Oh, my God. [laughter]

- All right, ladies. We'll be in Avensole

in just a minute. - Thank you.

- Pretty. - Wow.

- Please go ahead and have a seat.

- Hello. all: Thank you.

- Who wants some wine?

- Yeah. - Yes, please.

- Thank you. - Of course.

- What kind is this? - This is a sauvignon blanc.

- Cheers, guys. all: Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Mmm. - I love that.

- Oh, my God.

- That's yummy. - Delicious.

- I'd like to take a bath in it.

[laughter] - Oh, my God.

- It's so good.

If dating was as fun as wine tasting,

I would enjoy dating so much more.

Just line them up

and see which one I want to take home with me.

I can get behind that no problem.

- Would you like me to just

dump the wine that you haven't drunk?

- I dumped it in my mouth.

- Okay, perfect. - It's okay, thank you.

- Delish. - Um, Lisa and Kyle

saw Erika before we came. - Oh.

- The judge went ahead and granted his brother

to be his conservator,

but they were suggesting he be put in a home.

[tense music]

- Oh, my God.

- I know. - You didn't tell me that.

- We also asked about the home because

I was under the impression that everything was seized.

- Right.

- So I guess that takes time to process.

He was, you know, still in his home

when he was burglarized.

- What? - Yes.

- Why didn't we--

- Tom was home alone.

- I told you guys about the burglary.

I still don't know anything past

he got out of surgery.

- They could've shot him.

- They could have stabbed him. They could've killed him.

They could've done anything to him.

- During the burglary-- He has cataracts in his eye,

and it exploded. all: [gasp]

- He had to go get it operated on.

- Oh.

- Put this man somewhere where he can be taken care of

because his wife isn't there to take care of him.

- Whatever it did, he was in surgery,

after this burglary.

So she had her son deal with it and--

'Cause he's a police officer, right?

So he boarded up the window.

And then, the son ends up getting in an accident

and rolling his car four times. - No!

- Yes. - You got--

You cannot make this up.

- 'Cause it was snowing.

Both: Snowing?

- Snowing?

- What?

I-- it just can't even be real.

Flipping cars, snow--

We frickin' live in LA.

Like, I haven't seen snow in LA

since I was 11, so--

- True. It's all true.

- First we hear about Tom's car crash.

Then her son flipped his car five times

and walked out unscathed.

- Tom and his stepson both flipped cars.

Statistically, it's basically impossible.

- I mean, that's something you only see in the movies.

- It's all a true story.

- I mean, Erika's stories are unbelievable

because they're hard to believe.

- I feel for Erika because it is sad to think of somebody

who doesn't have their faculties who's cast aside.

- But how does she know? I'm just curious.

- I--

- Oh, dodgy, dodgy,

dodgy, dodgy girl. - I'm just asking a question.

This story is a bit confounded.

And the more stuff that comes in,

the more it doesn't make sense.

- I think her son found this out.

- Yeah, of course.

But I don't want to play Fancy Drew anymore.

I'm letting Scooby and Scooby's friend--

Y'all figure it out. I can't.

- She's very angry about the people

who have deserted him.

- Does the brother want him at home?

- Yes, yes. - Oh, my God, no.

- I pray to God that they figure out

how to get a good private caretaker,

because it's scary.

I know better than anyone how challenging it is

to love someone who suffers from dementia.

And this just cuts me so deeply.

You guys, that's so bad.

- So that's why she's not here.

- Ugh, I understand. - Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm just--

I'm just. - Oh no.

- I remember telling Rob,

I said, "This is a very Chinese thing.

Like you take care of your parents."

And I said, "Rob, you buy them a new house.

You got to take care of-- he's like,

"I got it. I'm in" you know?

Most people don't have that.

Rob loved my dad like I loved him.

And Rob just stepped up in a major way, you know?

It's a big deal.

So when I hear the story,

it's just ----ing just kills me.

- How was the first one, ladies?

- Fantastic. We love it.

- The second one is gonna be a sauvignon blanc too,

but instead of being more of a French style,

it's gonna be a California style.

- This was delicious,

but I can't wait to taste the new one.

- I'm sorry to interrupt.

I'm going to go back and have a massage.

- [indistinct] - [laughs]

- Why are you laughing?

- I'm so ----ed up. - [laughter]

- This morning I almost fell asleep on the ground.

And I have a migraine, a neck ache, a headache.

I haven't had a head-neck ache like this in a long time.

Ever since I was a little girl and I had an accident--

I was hit doing a Barbie commercial

with a golf ball really hard.

- Bye. - Goodbye, Kathy.

- Bye, Kathy. - Bye.

- Can we get some more of the number one

white wine you served?

- That was delicious. - Yeah, we can.

- Can I also buy a bottle for everybody?

- Of course.

- We're gonna do it in my dad's honor.

- Oh, that's so sweet.

- Yeah, right? - I love that.

- 'Cause that's what my dad would do.

- Thank you, Crystal. - Yeah.

- You guys, look at that sunset.

Look at that sunset.

- It's gorgeous. - Pretty.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

- Can you believe that? - Beautiful.

- I gotta go look at that sunset.

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God. Sutton, Sutton.

- Sutton's gonna walk. - I gotta walk [indistinct].

- Oh, my God.

- It's killing me. - I don't do that.

Don't make me wheel over there.

Kyle does a really good Erika compression.

- We're not good.

The door is shut.

- Yeah.

[laughs]

- Honey, I've got nothing to say to you.

(BLEEP) (BLEEP).

[laughter] - Oh, my God.

She wouldn't say that, but okay.

- I don't know, she might.

- I think she would these days.

[laughter]

Announcer: Coming up.

- Hello. - Hi there.

- Oh. - Oh, hi.

- Taking the easy road I see.

The low road.

[sultry electronic music]

[knock on door]

- Who is it?

- Who do you think it is?

- It's the fashion police. - Oh, hello.

- It's the fashion police.

- I'm the mall cop.

- [laughs]

- Guys, what would you-- - Honey, I want a vodka.

- I'm vodka grapefruit girl.

- Are you okay? - Yes, I'm sitting.

- We gotta figure this situation out.

- I can't with this whole--

With this whole thing.

[both laugh]

I love when Sutton tries to act like she's all proper.

Is this proper? Propping your feet up?

Not very ladylike for a Southern girl.

Kathy's not feeling well so she's out for tonight.

- She is asleep. - Poor thing.

- Do you need to talk to Erika?

[light, tense music]

- I feel so bad. You know, I feel so bad

because she did clear up a lot at the picnic the other day,

which-- you weren't there.

- What's weird about the story

is we didn't know there was a trauma.

- Yeah. - Well, she said alleged.

- Yesterday, she said alleged. - She said alleged yesterday.

I know he was unconscious for 12 hours.

I mean, the head injury-- - Allegedly, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

- Right, well-- - Right, yeah.

He told you that he was--

- Well-- - Unconscious or--

- Yeah. - Got it.

- He allegedly was unconscious for 12 hours, so--

- That's what she said yesterday.

♪ ♪

- How are you allegedly unconscious?

Why is your story changing all the time?

- As a result of the crash, his ankle was broken.

- Right. Got it, got it, got it.

- He was also unconscious for 12 hours.

- He was?

- Now everything is alleged.

I think y'all allegedly drank the Kool-Aid

because you're not even looking at the facts.

- Maybe because he told her that

and she doesn't know for sure.

- He's thrown from the car.

He calls her.

She finds him. - It is confusing.

- We kind of got off of the accident

and we got into-- - Yes.

- Because we were all so surprised.

- Yeah.

- You don't want to push Erika too far,

but yet you're kind of left

looking like an idiot for not asking.

- You guys, should we get going?

- Yeah. - I'm not feeling well.

I'm going to stay home with Kathy

and watch a movie in bed.

[chuckles]

[lively electronic music]

- It was a good day. - It wasa good day.

- Hello.

- Slicked back mama.

- All I could do. It's all I could do.

- Girl, that coat is everything.

- Thank you. - Yes, no. Really.

- Hi, let me model it for you.

This is Norma Kamali from a long time ago actually.

- Yeah, she's so good.

- Honey, you're not ruining that outfit with that jacket.

Come on. - I'm cold.

- You're fine with her arriving in that?

Come on. - By the way, yeah.

Can you just stay, like, 10 feet behind me

so you don't ruin my entrance?

- You're so mean!

- Oh, you have your latex on. - Okay.

- That's a good day to have your latex on.

- Damn it.

- Hello.

- Hello. - Hello, lovely.

- Should we go? - Let's go.

♪ ♪

- You guys, we have it all to ourselves.

- This is pretty cool.

- Hi there. - Hi there.

- Oh. - Oh hi.

- Taking the easy road I see.

The low road.

- [chuckles]

- Let's go back to not talking.

- [laughs]

- Okay. - Okay.

- I do not think Erika's going to be giving Sutton

any chances.

The ice queen is not cracking on this one.

- Oh, look, crab claws. Get outta here.

- So damn big. It looks like a vagina.

- I know. [laughs] - [laughs]

- Can I offer you a drink?

- Yes.

- Do you have ginger ale or Sprite?

- Yes, I do. - I'll have a hot toddy.

- Hot toddy is a good idea.

- I haven't seen crab claws in a long time.

[light, sultry music]

♪ ♪

- Wow, that's amazing. Mmm.

- It was actually really nice today.

We missed you. - We did.

- Did you watch CNN and sleep?

- Yep. - Any murder shows?

- I did. I did watch one.

- Love, love, love, love, love.

- Police smashed a multi-million-dollar

drug smuggling ring.

♪ ♪

-I'm so overwhelmed that I needed a minute

so I can escape my own personal situation.

And then I go, "You know what? It's not as bad."

- I could be being chopped up into pieces.

This is a better alternative.

- What I'm going through sucks

but, you know, this man's done a lot

for a lot of people. People can step up.

[light, tense music]

- Yeah, he did a lot of good,

but if he did the things he's being accused of,

did a lot of really bad sh--.

- He's done a lot for a lot of people

that could come in and help right now.

You know, why is my kid there?

- Lisa had said after the burglary,

he went to go check and then--

- Had an accident on the way home

and rolled his car five times, yes.

- Thank God he's okay. Thank God.

- Oh, you have no idea.

Like, he's pretty shaken.

- Ay-yi-yi.

- There's something weird about this.

Like, they want to prove

that they are her friend

rather than ask questions? Come on.

Compare that to last year with Denise.

- Denise, have you said things about me to other people

that are negative? - I have not.

- Did you say anything about Erika?

- No, I didn't.

- She came out and said that you said

that Erika is a cold bitch. You don't like her.

- I never said that.

♪ ♪

- It's just one thing after the other.

- Nothing shocks you anymore. - And then he calls me.

And this is a very untraditional

mother-son relationship.

He goes, "Hey. (BLEEP) is going on with your neighbor?"

- [laughs] - Just like that.

"You ----ing him?"

[both exclaim] I said--

I said, "Excuse me, no.

Don't you think I would have told you?"

- Right. - He goes,

"Well, I'm getting really ----ing [inaudible]

----ing tired of you

and your lies

[laughter] and your disasters.

- Hilarious. - I didn't do anything.

I live next to crazy. I can't help it.

- Right, right.

My kid would never ask me about ----ing someone.

[laughs]

No.

- What does he say about your Instagram when you're like--

- Not a goddamn thing.

[sultry bass music]

I said, "Mommy's broke and paying the bills."

[laughter]

- Mommy's broke.

- Mommy's broke and paying the bills.

- Oh, my God, Erika, you're entertaining me so much.

Please keep going.

- I know. You are so funny.

- I just needed a minute to just pull it together.

[tense music]

- I think everyone's been kissing Erika's ass

and going around just making everything

seem perfect.

It seems phony. It all seems phony to me.

- And now Sutton's not talking.

Kitty cats get your tongue? - Oh, damn.

- [laughter]

- Not the kitty cats.

- Cat got your tongue? - Thanks, Kyle.

- [laughs]

Look at Sutton looking like, "What?"

Announcer: Coming up.

- What did you think of Erika last night?

- It's been such a long time

since we've seen the real Erika come out.

- Hey, I can hear everything you're saying about me.

- Oh, my God, Erika, you're entertaining me so much.

Please keep going. - I know.

You are so fun and entertaining.

- I just needed a minute.

- And now Sutton's not talking.

- Oh, damn.

- Kitty cats get your tongue?

- Not the kitty cat. - [laughs]

- Look at Sutton looking like, "What?"

- You watched her threaten me.

- You ever call me a liar again...

[tense music]

I'm coming for you.

- Who's this helping?

- You're fun tonight.

You're so fun tonight.

- I have to laugh at some point

or it's going to kill me.

- Absolutely. - Yes.

- It's going to consume me

in a way that I just don't want it to.

- You're gonna come out on top. - I hope so.

- You know, you're beautiful. You're talented.

You have so much going for you.

It's a really rough road right now,

but you're going to be okay.

- I'll be okay. I hope that I'll be able to--

- You'll be better than okay. - Thank you.

- Erika has been so down every single day.

And when she leaves you,

you know she's just home crying.

So to see her here now in good spirits

makes me happy.

And I hope these women don't ruin it.

- You have got such a strong, positive outlook.

- But it's who I really am.

- I know it. I know.

- It's so great to see. - You have always,

always been the most supportive.

- I love it when people succeed.

When my friends are successful,

it makes us more powerful as a group.

- Yeah, I agree.

- And to take risks and to put yourself out there.

- Absolutely. - Like to open your store.

And, like, I'll never forget

when you said "I paid the rent this month."

- Is everything at your store, like, running like no more--

- We have made sales.

- She paid the rent.

- Paid the rent. - Paid the rent.

- You did? That's good.

- Now we have to get to paying salaries.

- Yeah.

- That's a big deal to pay the rent.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Seems nice, but why?

I don't know.

You're coming after my store?

- I was thinking about your reaction to us

all showing up on Broadway.

- Cheers. - To Erika on Broadway.

- Whoo!

- Erika! - [screams]

- Can you believe this sh--?

- [laughs]

- We were all crying at that point.

- I know. - For you to charter the plane.

I mean, it was cool.

- I know. Wow.

- No, I wouldn't smooth sh-- over.

No. But I'm not going to ruin everybody else's trip.

See what a nice person I am, you know?

I'm the best one in this group.

I don't know why you guys devalue me so much.

Clearly, I'm the most adult.

The most-- [laughs]

- The good thing about the darkest, darkest times

is you know the really good times are coming.

- Right. - Just like when you have

really good times, you know, "Oh sh-- I'm gonna have

a really bad day. This day is too good today."

- Right. - Yeah.

- Doesn't last forever. - Right.

That's how life is.

- Riding high in April, shot down in May.

[laughs] You know?

[light tango music]

♪ ♪

- Kathy?

♪ ♪

Kathy?

Kathy?

- Mmmmmm.

♪ ♪

- Oh, that's what the champagne game in.

I'm so excited, it's fancy.

[knocks on door]

- Please hold.

- Oh, good Lord. [laughs]

How do you invite someone over and tell them to hold?

- It takes me a minute, you bitch.

- Oh I forgot. Damn, I forgot.

Hi.

Both: Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

- You better come forward. - Yeah, you're right.

You're right. Oh, my God, girl.

- Do you want to sit outside? - Sure.

Oh, it's not as cold as I thought it was.

- No, it's nice.

I am going to go here because it's closest.

- Yeah, I hear you.

- See, I mean, I'm really good.

I cannot believe that I'm following

doctor's orders though. - Good girl.

Well, that's the only way you're going to get better

and that's the whole reason why you're limping around.

- [sighs] All right.

- So did you get some sleep?

I haven't been able to sleep here.

- I'm not-- I'm not sleeping well.

- I hit a wall last night and I had to leave.

Guys. - Yes.

- It's a big day tomorrow.

- Yes. - Let's call it a night.

- Bring me my ride.

- Sutton, you're either coming now or you're--

- I can't walk there.

- Girl, I'm telling you,

this sh-- is kinda funny.

[laughter]

- You were the popular girl.

- It was surprising to me

when Erika said...

well, she spoke to me.

- I couldn't believe she was speaking to you.

It's almost like nothing had happened.

- Do I trust it?

[tense music]

- See what today brings.

- Yeah.

- Oh, Lord Jesus.

I need to call a plastic surgeon.

- You just missed your lip.

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

- Lisa's calling right now. - Oh.

- Good morning. I have Garcelle here.

I'm jealous you have eye patches.

- I do. - Who's yelling outside?

- I-I--they're dry almost.

- Oh, I need some too.

- I think it's Garcelle. - Yes.

- It's Garcelle. - Who's the other one?

- What did you think of Erika last night?

I mean, she was like a rebirth.

- What are they doing?

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

- It's been such a long time since we've seen

the real Erika come out. It was joyous.

- We were saying

that we've never seen that side of her really.

- [whispering] Yes, they are talking about me.

- Tell them to stop.

- Hey! - I think maybe she was

carrying stuff even before. - You guys!

- Or maybe Chicago was on her head.

- Does she hear us? Hold on, hold on, I think she hears us.

- It's Erika, and I can hear

everything you're saying about me.

- Oh, Erika is listening to us.

- Where are you?

- You know I can hear your ----ing ass, right?

You better not be saying bad sh-- about me.

- She's listening to us.

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God. These bitches be trying to talk sh--.

- Caught red-handed.

- Caught red-handed.

- All right, see you later.

Bye.

- Talking about me. I ----ing hear you hoes.

- [mouthing words]

announcer: Coming up.

- Have you ever been with a girl?

- Um...

- [laughs]

- Just stop it. - [shouts]

- Oh, my God.

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- Hi. - Good morning.

- Hi. - How are you?

- Good. I'm Kori.

- Hi, Kori. - Nice to meet you.

- I'm Crystal. - I'm Lisa.

- Hi, Crystal, Lisa.

- Wait, you guys are in workout clothes.

I'm in a bathing suit. - That's okay.

- Make Lisa work really hard.

- You can go ahead and come in.

The water feels great.

- Crystal, you look great.

- If my boob comes out, you'll tell me.

- Have you ever done anything like this before?

- I do yoga,

but I've never done it on a paddleboard.

- Okay. Go ahead and come in.

- It's not that warm. - It's all right.

- Get on from the side.

- [grunts]

- Until now, no one's wanted to do anything with me.

Guys, come in.

- No!

- Come to yoga with me.

- No. - No.

- I gotta wash my hair, sorry.

- It hurts to do that alone,

so it's nice that I have somebody finally

who's adventurous

and doesn't care if they get their ----ing hair wet.

- The girls know I'm very concerned

with my body and my body style.

Like, I don't want to wear a bathing suit in public.

Especially next to Rinna.

She's the one who should be wearing a bikini.

- Okay, you ladies look great.

And we're gonna start on all fours.

So I just want you to come over all fours.

- This is exactly why I wore my pants.

- We texted for 30 minutes and she said she was gonna

put on a bathing suit

and she convinced me to do it.

And then I come downstairs and she's wearing a whole outfit.

Like, now my ass is, like, out

and I'm so mad at her.

- Let's take the right leg and send it back.

Go ahead and lengthen the left arm.

Nice. We're going to make our way into standing.

Engage your core.

You'll probably fall off. [laughs]

- Great.

- Take it into a wide base.

- [groans]

- A little faster, please.

A little faster. - Please go faster.

- A little faster. - [laughs] Okay.

- Oh, sh--. - Oh, geez.

I didn't know we were gonna have an audience.

- Hecklers actually.

- Yes. - Hecklers.

- Much more like hecklers.

[laughter]

[upbeat pop music]

- I don't know how I'm gonna play today.

I just want to put that out there.

I'm not a great pickleball player.

- Are you gonna tell me the rules? Just--

- No, I don't care about rules. I just like to hit the ball.

- Let's just hit the ball back and forth.

- [laughs]

- Kyle, really?

- [laughs]

[energetic pop music]

♪ ♪

- Sh--. Come on, girl.

- Oh, no. - [laughs]

Oh, you biatch.

♪ ♪

- Sh--, almost. - [laughs]

All right, here we go. One last.

- Okay.

- Oh, you ----ing bitch.

[laughs]

That's enough. come on. - I think won.

- Drink.

Should we have a champagne toast to us?

- That looks so enticing right now

even though I haven't had breakfast yet.

- Cheers to you. - Cheers.

- Thanks for being my friend, hun.

- Cheers. Thanks for being my friend.

- Of course.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God. - Crisp.

- Engage your core.

Arms out, little lifts.

Four toes. Nice, there we go.

- [shouts] - Oh, my God.

- [laughs]

- Damn it.

- Yes, yes. - Good, Crystal. Good, Crystal.

- Go, Crystal. Use your core.

- [screams] - Damn it!

- And your hair looked so good.

Oh, oh, oh,!

- You guys.

I'm so excited I'm not on that stupid paddle board.

If I went on the paddle board, next thing,

I'd be on a scooter next to Sutton.

- Can I please try your glasses on with my outfit?

- Yes, darling. Yes.

- It's also her safe word-- pineapple.

- [laughs]

- Okay, that's hilarious.

- You know what's weird? Pineapple has been

one of my safe words.

- Has it really? [laughs]

- Girl, don't do that to me.

- Pineapple, apple, apple sauce.

- Poodle.

- Chanel.

- Stop.

- Sutton was saying how Erika talked to her last night.

- I was seriously in shock because I wasn't expecting it

and it surprised me.

Honestly, it did give me hope for our relationship.

- I was shocked.

- I'm just hoping the door is cracked,

or maybe it's unlocked.

I don't know what the angle of her door is right now.

If it's cracked, still closed, I don't know.

But I think that we're going to get through this.

I do.

- I'm feeling better. You cannot wallow.

- You can't wallow. - You can't wallow.

Life goes on. - Yes.

- I did read this morning that the bankruptcy trustees

want to take the house and possibly evict Tom.

And you know, so we'll see.

I'm out here rebuilding my life,

but girl, I have $0.

And by the time those trustees are done with him,

there'll be nothing.

So I walk out of this with nothing.

- Nobody wants to see themselves with nothing

but obviously, the victims here

are the ones that need to be paid the money.

It's plain and simple.

- And I said that to my lawyers the other day

I said I expect nothing.

And one of my lawyers looked at me and he goes,

that is the most courageous thing I've ever heard.

- I mean--

- Every day brings a brand-new disaster.

I mean, it's just full of ----ing bullsh--.

- You know today's my last day being 37.

- I didn't know it was your birthday tomorrow.

- Why didn't anybody tell us? - I know.

- Strippers, strippers, strippers.

- Chippendale.

- It's only 10:00 in the morning.

Let's go, okay? We still have tonight.

- But I do have a question. Have you ever been with a girl?

- Um...

- [laughs]

- The answer is yes, right, Crystal?

- Just stop it right now. You just stop it.

- [screams]

- I cannot. I cannot.

- She's done this before. You've done this before?

- Get off of Garcelle. Oh my gosh.

- Oh. - Talk about violating.

- That was a violation and I will take it.

[laughs]

Announcer: Coming up.

- I have a game, by the way.

Never have I ever

stolen anything.

- Oh.

[upbeat pop music]

- Feels like it's gonna get warm to me.

- You look very nice and refreshed.

- Let me put my hand out there.

- Just put your finger - My finger?

I'm gonna dip my toes outside.

Put my-- I'm tired.

You know, I didn't get a lot of sleep.

My finger. - Put your finger out there.

- I wanna put my finger out there

and just see which way the wind is blowing.

- I had to rest up a little yesterday.

Let's get going.

So I am really psyched for this boat trip.

I've hired Chef Brian Malarkey

who's a celebrity chef

who is supposed to be incredible.

So I'm crossing my fingers

that we're all just gonna have a great time.

It's the last night.

- Oops.

- Thank you.

[crowd murmurs]

- Hi. - Who's ready for drinking?

- Who is ready?

- You know, you're not the only one in the world,

Kyle Richards. If you stop, there might be

something behind you.

[laughter]

[upbeat electronic music]

- Down here. Down here, baby.

Down here. - Down here?

- Oh, Kathy ordered this one. What happened?

- It's that one right there.

- Wow, that's beautiful.

- It's like "Pirates of the Caribbean".

Ahoy, maties.

- [laughs]

- Hi. - Hi.

- How are you?

- It's just been rough, honey.

- I know, I'm sorry. - No, it's okay. It's okay.

- Oh, my God, they're talking.

- I'll get through it.

But I had to lash out, and I apologize.

- Don't--you don't have to apologize to me.

- But the important part

is that we can keep going forward.

- Yeah. Well, you're just too pretty

to be mad at me.

[laughing] - Oh, shut up!

- Erika is giving me a mild apology,

but I don't trust it.

I mean, I want to,

but I don't.

- And you know what? I still mean

all those nice things I say about you.

- No, that's okay.

- Do I wanna work it out with Sutton?

No.

No, I don't.

- We're okay, everybody.

- Not a kumbaya, but it's a moment.

Here's the thing:

I'm not gonna ruin everybody else's trip

just because I hate Sutton.

- This is gonna be so fun for me.

- Want me to push you, right? - Girl.

- Welcome. - Hi, Kathy Hilton.

- Hi, Kathy. I'm Troy.

- Nice to see you.

This is so beautiful - Wow.

- Wow.

- How do we get in here? We step over?

- Oh, geez, I don't know boat etiquette.

- Okay.

- Now can you hop?

- No. [laughs]

- How can we help you?

- Um...

- What about--hold on, Sutton.

- They are helping her.

- Yeah, they are helping her - Okay.

- If you want me to help you, I can.

- Just if you like maybe-- No, no, not my foot.

Like, right under here.

Yeah, that's amazing.

- I don't wanna be shady,

but bitch, you gotta get it together.

- [laughs] - Oh, gosh, okay.

- I don't want to be shady.

- So that moment is done. [laughs]

- Whoo-hoo.

- Okay.

- Just take my hand for a second.

I'm gonna get down.

[grunts]

- Ooh! - I mean, I know.

I know [inaudible]. I'm on.

- All right, ladies, you ready to roll?

- Yeah, we're ready to roll. - Yes, please

- Go ahead and release one.

[energetic, upbeat music]

- Here we go, guys.

- Oh, my god, you guys, you guys, you guys.

Look I got it. I got it. I got it.

- Do you wanna come over here with the pretty light?

- Yeah, the lighting--

[all speaking at once] - We'll probably turn.

- Well, we'll turn. When can we turn?

- Yeah. - I'll do that right now.

- He's gonna turn you toward the light.

- We're making him move the boat for photos.

- Well, yeah. - Can you spin the boat?

- Well, how else do you expect us to take a photo?

- Honey, I would move a mountain for the right light.

- Okay, guys. Ready?

- So moving a boat is nothing.

I can find my light in a coffin, okay?

- Look at these women.

Yeah, those are some badass chicks right there.

- Go girls.

All: Yeah!

- Yes, look at it.

- Girl power. - You guys,

Sutton and Erika, what happened over there?

- I will let Erika tell the story.

- So I want to hear all the scoop.

- My life's a shambles,

And I'm angry and I'm hurt.

And it's not kumbaya, but it's an opening.

I'm in a good mood, so the moment is right.

And she was receptive and so there it is, you know?

And that's all you can do.

- And it makes you feel better, doesn't it?

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.

- The thing is with Erika, you just don't know.

She can snap and then it's fine.

"We're fine. It's good."

And now they seem to have made peace with it.

- You know, we're adults

and it's not gonna get fixed overnight.

And it doesn't have to

- That's right. - Amen.

- Just don't talk, Sutton.

Just smile, nod,

[indistinct]

- I'm a good time and I want to be even a better time

but you know what?

I have to walk a very fine line.

'Cause there are a lot of people that are looking at me

and if I look like I'm having a little too much fun,

I'm not remorseful. - Right.

If I look like I'm looking a little too good,

I have no shame.

So I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.

I wanna have fun. I wanna laugh.

But if I laugh too much, I get criticized for that.

Then if I hang my head in shame,

I'm clearly guilty of something that I--you know?

So I cannot win. - So true.

- Everybody just wants her to say,

- [sighs]

"God I feel terrible. Oh, my God the poor victims."

But I think that Erika's lawyers have said to her,

"You can't talk about anything

because all of a sudden then she's connected to it.

- I just wanna say something.

I don't wanna steal from what you're saying.

- No, you don't-- just say it.

- So I've been feeling, you know, with you

it's like we haven't really talked it through

and in my heart didn't wanna forgive,

but I've just been enjoying you

and I have been really enjoying our time together.

- Yeah. - And I just want you

to know that and everyone should know that.

- Good. - That's all.

- That's good. That's honest.

- I'm also fun.

- Are you a good time?

- Absolutely.

- Scooter and all. - [laughs]

- I'm having a good time.

- Yeah!

- We're good. - Thanks.

- Oh, my God, shut up.

- [laughs] - That was lame.

- I have a game, by the way.

Never have I ever.

- Oh, I wanted to play this game!

- You drink if you have, you don't if you haven't.

- Yes. - Okay.

- I did a background check on everybody here,

so there's nothing I don't know.

[all scream, laugh]

[hip-hop music]

- Okay, never have I ever

stolen anything.

[music winds down]

- Oh.

[hip-hop music continues]

[upbeat electronic music]

- You drink if you have, you don't if you haven't.

- Yes.

- Never have I ever

stolen anything.

- Oh.

- [gasps]

- Say it or don't say it.

I don't like that sh--.

Never have I ever stolen anything.

Really? Neither have I, (BLEEP).

- No.

- I've stolen something when I was a kid.

- No. - I don't even remember

what I would have stolen as a kid.

Maybe as a teenager, I may have stolen some hearts

but you can't go to jail for that, can you?

- Okay, now Crystal goes. - Okay, Crystal.

- I'm not playing this game. - Oh!

- ♪ Secrets, Crystal's got some secrets ♪

- No admission is no admission?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Hmm.

- Rinna, did you ask it yet?

- Never have I ever had anal sex.

- Oh, my gosh. - Oh sh--.

- All day, every day. - Yes, you have.

- Sutton Stracke! Sutton Stracke!

- You have to drink if you have.

- She just did!

♪ ♪

Sutton Stracke!

- Ladies, have you been introduced to Brian?

- Hello, ladies.

What do we have?

- We have some amazing bluefin tun caught locally.

Here is a crispy rice with a kimchi vinaigrette.

This one's duck and fig.

- Thank you.

- I'm hungry.

- What is that? - ♪ Do do do do do do do ♪

- I don't know, Kath. Just try it.

- This is some of the best food we've ever had.

- Yeah, it really is. - Absolutely.

- I'm smiling under here. Smiling big.

- My turn.

Okay, here we go. - Forgive us, Troy,

for anything that you hear after this.

- That's all right.

- Never have I ever had sex on an airplane bathroom?

- Oh girl.

- In an airplane bathroom.

- So mile high club. - I wish I had.

I would have liked to but I didn't.

- [laughs]

- You did too? - We both did.

[crosstalk]

- I'm a member of the mile-high club, okay?

But it was a commercial flight.

Okay, these are dumb moves made by young, dumb people.

This is not some romantic, private planes situation.

That's yet to come.

- Kathy.

- Okay. - Never ever--

- Never have I ever.

- Never ever. - No.

- Never have I ever.

- Never have I ever had sex in a doctor's office.

- Oh, I've done the hospital,

so I'll say yeah to that.

[screaming crosstalk]

- Kathy Hilton, you're a freak.

- Oh, my God! - Kathy Hilton is a freak.

- With my husband. - Kathy Hilton is a freak.

- Oh, my God. - [screams]

- Kathy's a good example of a lady in the streets

and a freak in the sheets.

I do believe Kathy Hilton's a freak.

You know why?

Genetics.

- I'm no freak. I'm adventurous.

- Okay. Garcelle, hit us.

- Never have I ever strapped on and did another man.

- [screams]

- No, I've not done that.

- (BLEEP) - Oh, my God.

I'm so embarrassed in front of the captain.

I'm jumping overboard?

- What the--

[crosstalk]

- No, I haven't done it but I would

if the opportunity-- - You would?

- Yeah, I would. - You would?

- You guys this is so--

- I would if it--

If it was right and the right partner.

I have no problem with that.

- So if you love him, you'll go there.

- I don't have to love him. I just gotta be down with it.

I just need somebody to shut their ----ing mouth.

I'm good. - Okay.

- [laughs]

- My problem is shut the (BLEEP) up.

Don't kiss and tell. I don't believe in that.

- Oh, yeah. For sure.

- My problem is shut up.

[tense music]

Shut your ----ing mouth.

Don't ever say that we were-- I don't even know you.

- Okay, I'm just gonna change the--the compass.

This is a bit much but, you know,

Erika always has an underlying scary part to her.

And honestly,

I'd have a lot of rage too if I lost all my money.

- That is beautiful. - Right?

Come on, guys. Walk around.

- Oh, I'm not walking over there.

- No, I don't think you should. - I'll check my email.

- Yeah, there you go.

- Look at that pink sky.

- It's so pretty, right?

Look at how pretty with San Diego.

- Oh, my God, that looks like Australia.

I know. Let's pretend we're in Australia.

- Who's gonna have the balls to go out on that net?

- Can I go over there?

- You can but be careful. - I can do it.

- This is no lifeline here. Oh, my God, Kyle.

- I'm your lifeline. - No, Kyle this is scary.

There's no lifeline here.

- You guys, there's no lifeline.

[laughs]

- Um...

- I don't even wanna go on that net

and I'll almost do anything.

- I'll do anything. Come on, don't be a p---.

- You know, I'm just glad that she opened up

and that she kind of--

- Forgave you.

- Yeah, we have so much in common

from our dance background

and being from Georgia.

- Okay.

Holy sh--.

- So I said to her-- - Oh, right, right, right.

[silence]

- I know.

- It's hard for me.

- Oh, oh. - Yeah, it is kinda nice

actually if you do stand.

- I hate having fights with friends like this.

This has been hard for me, you know?

I hate this for me and Erika.

Like, I felt like the two of us were really bonding.

- You gotta be mean.

Let 'em cry. Let them cry.

- You are Southern to the core.

- That is how I was raised.

Let them cry.

- I'm nervous. - You're nervous? Listen--

- We're all here. - We're all here, yeah.

It's okay. - We're all here.

- No. - No, no, no.

You're okay and it's okay.

- Breathe, breathe. - It's all right.

- To have a friend like that

and become a foe so quickly. - Right.

- I see a potential in this friendship,

but at the same time,

I don't want a friendship where I feel scared of somebody.

I can't, um, not ask questions.

I can't not do that, you know?

And it wasn't to hurt anybody.

That's the hard part.

- Kathy, thank you for this trip.

I'm the king of the world!

- Well, I can hear 'em.

- I know. They're very loud.

- Right? - They're very loud.

♪ ♪

- I am ---ing crazy.

[laughs]

Announcer: Next time on the season finale.

- Oh, look at this.

He's really strong.

[cork pops] - Whoo!

- It's my first time with a tailgate date.

I really wanted to have the...

- Are you nervous?

- I really wish all of you an incredible Year of the Ox.

- Happy New Year.

- I would love to see a reach-out

to Denise at some point.

[tense music]

- I don't want any ill will

between us going into this Chinese New Year.

♪ ♪

- I understand you're going through a lot, Erika,

but you still have to apologize to people.

- We need to talk.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪