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1
00:00:06,522 --> 00:00:08,689
FOR A GUY WHO CAN'T
SEE HIS OWN REFLECTION,
2
00:00:08,757 --> 00:00:11,526
DRACULA IS
PRETTY WELL GROOMED.
3
00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:13,861
LET'S SEE
WHAT ELSE IS ON.
4
00:00:16,098 --> 00:00:17,365
OH, LEAVE THAT.
5
00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:19,100
MR. PRIME MINISTER,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
6
00:00:19,168 --> 00:00:20,301
CHARLIE ROSE?
7
00:00:20,369 --> 00:00:22,787
YOU REALIZE THAT'S PBS.
8
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:27,008
DOUG, WE NEVER WATCH ANYTHING
THAT BROADENS OUR HORIZONS.
9
00:00:27,076 --> 00:00:29,528
MAYBE THIS WILL GIVE US
SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.
10
00:00:29,595 --> 00:00:31,930
WE WATCH TV SO
WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
11
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:34,265
LET'S JUST TRY IT.
12
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,067
...HE
FINDS HIMSELF IN THE CENTER
13
00:00:36,135 --> 00:00:37,302
OF TODAY'S
MOST PRESSING ISSUES-
14
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,371
THE WAR ON TERROR,
FUTURE SHAPE OF EUROPE-
15
00:00:39,438 --> 00:00:41,039
WHO'S HE INTERVIEWING?
16
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:45,310
IT SAYS RIGHT THERE,
THE PRIME MINISTER OF TURKEY.
17
00:00:45,377 --> 00:00:48,596
I GOTTA LEVEL WITH YOU. I'D RATHER
SEE AN INTERVIEW WITH AN ACTUAL TURKEY.
18
00:00:48,664 --> 00:00:49,948
ALL RIGHT. SHH!
19
00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:53,685
TELL ME WHAT ROLE
YOU THINK TURKEY CAN PLAY
20
00:00:53,752 --> 00:00:55,220
IN SHAPING-
21
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,322
BET YOU 5 BUCKS CHARLIE
PICKS UP HIS WATER GLASS
22
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,623
IN THE NEXT 30 SECONDS.
23
00:00:58,691 --> 00:00:59,624
COME ON.
24
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:00,959
I'LL GIVE YOU 3-TO-1 ODDS.
25
00:01:01,026 --> 00:01:03,778
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE ON. OKAY.
26
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:07,431
COME ON. YOU'RE BORED
AND THIRSTY, CHARLIE.
27
00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:09,768
COME ON,
PICK IT UP, BUDDY.
28
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:11,302
COME ON, PICK IT UP.
29
00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:12,804
CHARLIE,
DON'T DO IT, DON'T DO IT!
30
00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:15,039
TAKE A SIP.
HEY, SIPSY RUSSELL!
31
00:01:17,676 --> 00:01:20,495
WANT TO GO DOUBLE OR NOTHING
ON MASTERPIECE THEATER?
32
00:01:59,985 --> 00:02:01,569
AH, DOUGLAS.
33
00:02:01,637 --> 00:02:05,206
WHAT IS THAT
POWERFUL AROMA?
34
00:02:05,274 --> 00:02:08,676
I COULD ASK
THE SAME THING.
35
00:02:08,744 --> 00:02:11,912
IS THAT SOME KIND
OF MELTED SANDWICH?
36
00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:14,249
YES, IT IS, AND I DON'T
WANT YOU SHEDDING ON IT,
37
00:02:14,316 --> 00:02:15,250
SO COULD YOU
STEP BACK?
38
00:02:15,317 --> 00:02:17,452
SO, I CAN'T BE NEAR
YOUR FOOD.
39
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,853
THEN I ASSUME
YOU'D REALLY GET UPSET
40
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,555
IF I TOUCHED IT
LIKE THIS, HUH?
41
00:02:21,623 --> 00:02:23,992
ACTUALLY, ALL YOU DID
WAS TOUCH HOT BUTTER.
44
00:02:30,265 --> 00:02:31,933
DID YOU GET FITTED
FOR YOUR SUIT
45
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:33,184
FOR MY COUSIN FAYE'S
WEDDING?
46
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:35,536
NO, BUT IT'S RIGHT AT
THE TOP OF MY TO-DO LIST.
47
00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:37,371
HONEY, YOU UNDERSTAND
THE WEDDING IS IN 2 WEEKS,
48
00:02:37,439 --> 00:02:39,808
AND YOU ARE A GUY WHO NEEDS
A TAILOR'S HELP.
49
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:41,175
OK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THE CONCEPT
50
00:02:41,243 --> 00:02:43,011
BEHIND A GRILLED CHEESE
SANDWICH?
51
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,546
IF THE CHEESE COOLS,
THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.
52
00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:48,449
ALL I'M ASKING YOU TO DO
IS GET THE SUIT!
53
00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:51,052
AND ALL I'M ASKING YOU TO DO
IS SHUTTY.
54
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,253
OHH!
55
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:56,324
DOUG!
56
00:02:56,391 --> 00:02:57,808
OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU OK?
57
00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:01,346
CHEESE STILL HOT.
58
00:03:02,431 --> 00:03:04,949
OK, TRY TO KEEP THE WEIGHT
ON THE OTHER FOOT.
59
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:08,053
LET'S PLANT YOU
ON THE COUCH.
60
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,554
I DON'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU
TO DO THAT.
61
00:03:09,621 --> 00:03:13,024
ALL RIGHT,
REMEMBER THE DOCTOR SAID
62
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,526
TO KEEP YOUR FOOT
ELEVATED,
63
00:03:14,593 --> 00:03:17,195
AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE
YOUR PILLS EVERY 3 HOURS.
64
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,197
NEXT ONE'S AT 4:00.
65
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,932
DID HE HAPPEN TO MENTION
WHAT TIME
66
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,133
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY
YOU'RE SORRY
67
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:24,102
FOR PUSHING ME
DOWN THE STAIRS!
68
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:26,237
I DIDN'T PUSH YOU.
YOU FELL.
69
00:03:26,305 --> 00:03:27,438
BECAUSE YOU HIT ME!
70
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:29,407
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET FITTED
FOR YOUR SUIT LIKE I ASKED YOU TO!
71
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:31,375
SO YOU CRIPPLE ME?
72
00:03:31,443 --> 00:03:33,661
AND FOR THE TIME YOU
RIPPED UP MY VOGUE MAGAZINE
73
00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:36,030
'CAUSE YOU HAD TO MAKE
YOUR COLLAGE.
74
00:03:36,098 --> 00:03:37,549
IT WASN'T A COLLAGE.
75
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,050
I WAS CONSTRUCTING
THE PERFECT WOMAN.
76
00:03:39,117 --> 00:03:40,718
OK...
77
00:03:40,786 --> 00:03:45,039
ANYWAY, THE DOCTOR SAID
YOU'RE NOT CRIPPLED.
78
00:03:45,107 --> 00:03:47,441
WITH A MONTH OF PHYSICAL
THERAPY, YOU'LL BE FINE.
79
00:03:47,509 --> 00:03:48,460
OH, JUST A MONTH...
80
00:03:48,527 --> 00:03:52,296
AND EVERY DAY IT RAINS
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
81
00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:57,902
I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU'RE UPSET, OK?
82
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:01,172
BUT YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT I
DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU, RIGHT?
83
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,424
I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT.
84
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:13,318
WHAT?
85
00:04:13,385 --> 00:04:14,785
I JUST CAME UP
FOR A GLASS OF WATER.
86
00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:15,820
I DON'T
WANT ANY TROUBLE.
87
00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:17,755
COME ON, DAD.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
88
00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:18,740
YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM.
89
00:04:18,807 --> 00:04:20,758
WITH HIM BEING
BASICALLY UNINSURABLE,
90
00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:23,094
WHERE WOULD THAT LEAVE US?
91
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,497
ALL RIGHT,
WOULD YOU BACK OFF?
92
00:04:25,564 --> 00:04:26,731
IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
93
00:04:26,798 --> 00:04:28,466
SHAME ON YOU, CARRIE.
94
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,952
I'VE PUSHED MANY PEOPLE
DOWN FLIGHTS OF STAIRS,
95
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,388
BUT DAMN IT, I'VE ALWAYS OWNED UP TO IT.
96
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,997
OK, PHYSICAL THERAPY'S
ON THE 2nd FLOOR.
97
00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:01,816
OH, THE SNACK BAR'S
ON THE 5th FLOOR.
98
00:05:01,883 --> 00:05:03,651
THIS DAY JUST
KEEPS GETTING BETTER.
99
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:06,838
WHAT THE HELL?
100
00:05:09,691 --> 00:05:12,093
THAT IS SICK!
101
00:05:14,646 --> 00:05:16,013
HEY, EXCUSE ME,
102
00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:17,348
WHAT'S THAT?
103
00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:20,818
THAT RIGHT THERE IS A LITTLE
THING CALLED "SLAMBALL."
104
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,303
GREAT, ANOTHER COOL THING WE CAN'T DO
105
00:05:22,371 --> 00:05:23,922
BECAUSE OF CARRIE.
106
00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:25,990
YEAH, WE CAN'T...
107
00:05:26,058 --> 00:05:27,758
WE CAN.
108
00:05:27,826 --> 00:05:28,910
HEY, PUT US
DOWN FOR TOMORROW.
109
00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:31,045
HEFFERNAN. H-E-F-F-
110
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,847
WHOA. DON'T GET AHEAD
OF YOURSELF, CHIEF.
111
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,548
WE GOT
A 3-MONTH WAITING LIST.
112
00:05:34,616 --> 00:05:37,652
HEY!
YOU CAN'T TOUCH HIM THERE.
113
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,049
HAVE YOU
CHANGED YOUR PANTS
114
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:54,385
SINCE YOU FELL
DOWN THE STAIRS?
115
00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:56,687
IT'S A WHOLE THING
GETTING THEM OFF.
116
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:57,989
JUST...
117
00:05:58,057 --> 00:05:59,874
HEY, GUYS.
HEY, CARRIE.
118
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,909
HOW'D YOUR
PHYSICAL THERAPY GO?
119
00:06:01,977 --> 00:06:03,177
PRETTY ROUGH.
120
00:06:03,244 --> 00:06:06,064
WORKED SOME DEEP TISSUE
ON MY THIGH
121
00:06:06,131 --> 00:06:08,466
WHILE I WENT
TO MY SAFE PLACE.
122
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,668
ANYWAY, I THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT BE HUNGRY,
123
00:06:10,736 --> 00:06:12,971
SO I GOT YOU SOME BURGERS
FROM WHITE CASTLE.
124
00:06:13,038 --> 00:06:14,472
OH, THANK YOU.
125
00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:16,507
AND I KNOW YOU LIKE
THE FRIES
126
00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:17,675
FROM
THE BOWLING ALLEY,
127
00:06:17,743 --> 00:06:19,210
SO THERE YOU GO.
128
00:06:19,277 --> 00:06:20,377
GREAT.
129
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:22,714
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH A SODA.
130
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:25,817
I GOT TO TELL YOU-
131
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,118
I FEEL LIKE GOING HOME
AND HAVING KELLY
132
00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:28,953
PUSH ME DOWN SOME STAIRS.
133
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:31,272
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
134
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:32,973
I'VE NEVER SEEN CARRIE
SERVE YOU.
135
00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:35,376
OR SMILE AT YOU.
136
00:06:35,444 --> 00:06:37,128
SHE'S JUST
ACTING ALL NICE.
137
00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,562
I BET SHE FEELS GUILTY.
138
00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:40,164
NO, IT'S MUCH MORE
THAN THAT.
139
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:41,799
IT'S A FUNDAMENTAL CHANGE.
140
00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:45,303
THE WHOLE BALANCE OF POWER
HAS SHIFTED TO YOU.
141
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:47,005
GET OUT OF HERE.
142
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,606
AS LONG AS YOU KEEP
THAT THING ON YOUR LEG,
143
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,741
I BET YOU GET
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
144
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:53,878
HERE YOU GO.
145
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,546
YOU ALL SET?
146
00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:58,432
UM... ACTUALLY,
YOU KNOW WHAT,
147
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:01,402
COULD YOU JUST TAKE
THE PICKLES OFF THE BURGERS?
148
00:07:01,469 --> 00:07:02,737
SURE.
149
00:07:02,804 --> 00:07:05,205
AND THEN CHOP THEM UP
INTO LITTLE BITS,
150
00:07:05,273 --> 00:07:07,708
AND THEN PUT THEM
BACK ON LIKE RELISH?
151
00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:10,862
I WASN'T KIDDING.
152
00:07:10,929 --> 00:07:12,197
OH, OK.
153
00:07:43,912 --> 00:07:46,514
WHAT'S UP?
154
00:07:54,089 --> 00:07:55,423
WELL,
THE SWELLING'S GONE,
155
00:07:55,491 --> 00:07:57,858
AND YOU'VE GOT
FULL MOBILITY BACK.
156
00:07:57,926 --> 00:08:00,244
OH... WHAT?
157
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:02,113
IT WASN'T AS BAD
AS WE THOUGHT.
158
00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,214
YOU'RE 100 PERCENT.
159
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:06,934
OK, THAT IS
COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.
160
00:08:07,002 --> 00:08:09,704
I'M GOING TO NEED
TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER.
161
00:08:09,772 --> 00:08:12,573
UM, YOU CAN PAY
ON YOUR WAY OUT.
162
00:08:12,641 --> 00:08:15,142
I WAS PROMISED A MONTH
OF PAIN AND DISCOMFORT.
163
00:08:15,210 --> 00:08:16,844
I WAS PROMISED A MONTH.
A MONTH!
164
00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:17,978
COME ON, MAN.
165
00:08:18,046 --> 00:08:19,447
YOU HAD
A HELL OF A RIDE.
166
00:08:20,866 --> 00:08:22,400
OH, GOD...
167
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:24,269
NOW I GOT TO GO TO HER
COUSIN'S WEDDING ON SATURDAY.
168
00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:26,137
SO? IT'S JUST A WEDDING.
169
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,805
IT'S A WICCAN WEDDING!
170
00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:30,074
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
171
00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:31,525
THEY'RE WITCHES.
172
00:08:31,593 --> 00:08:35,162
AND NOT HOT WITCHES
LIKE TABITHA OR SABRINA.
173
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:37,081
IT'S GOING TO BE
A NIGHTMARE.
174
00:08:37,148 --> 00:08:38,515
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO?
175
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,819
I GOT TO KEEP
THIS THING GOING.
176
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,821
HERE. YOU KNOW WHAT?
177
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:45,957
HOBBLE ME.
178
00:08:47,859 --> 00:08:50,227
HOW AM I GOING
TO HOBBLE YOU WITH THIS?
179
00:08:50,295 --> 00:08:51,228
JUST DO IT.
180
00:08:51,296 --> 00:08:52,897
NO!
181
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,066
FINE. THEN I'LL DO IT,
ALL RIGHT?
182
00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:57,969
HERE...
183
00:09:02,307 --> 00:09:03,874
COWARD!
184
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,418
UGH!
185
00:09:16,037 --> 00:09:17,705
DOUG, IS THAT YOU?
186
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,157
YEAH, BE RIGHT UP.
187
00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:22,610
ARE YOU OK?
188
00:09:22,678 --> 00:09:24,312
OH, YEAH. I'M... FINE.
189
00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:26,180
WHAT HAPPENED? I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GETTING BETTER.
190
00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:27,181
I WAS.
191
00:09:27,249 --> 00:09:29,149
I WAS AT
PHYSICAL THERAPY TODAY,
192
00:09:29,218 --> 00:09:30,751
AND I TOLD THE GUY
TO REALLY TEST ME,
193
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:32,687
AND IT FELT GOOD
FOR A WHILE,
194
00:09:32,754 --> 00:09:34,288
BUT THEN I HEARD
THIS SOUND.
195
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,556
IT WAS LIKE A...
196
00:09:35,624 --> 00:09:37,642
A SNAP...
197
00:09:37,709 --> 00:09:39,944
CRACKLE... SOUND.
198
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:42,379
HONEY, YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE PUSHED IT.
199
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,749
I KNOW.
IT'S JUST THAT I, UH...
200
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:47,084
AH, NEVER MIND.
IT'S... IT'S STUPID.
201
00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:49,219
WHAT? TELL ME.
202
00:09:52,173 --> 00:09:54,475
I REALLY WANTED
TO DANCE WITH YOU
203
00:09:54,543 --> 00:09:57,712
AT YOUR COUSIN'S WEDDING,
YOU KNOW?
204
00:09:57,779 --> 00:10:00,615
OUTSIDE, UNDER THE STARS.
205
00:10:00,682 --> 00:10:04,218
OH, BABY.
THAT'S SO SWEET.
206
00:10:04,286 --> 00:10:06,153
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING.
207
00:10:06,221 --> 00:10:07,455
I'M NOT GOING TO RISK
208
00:10:07,522 --> 00:10:09,457
HAVING YOU
HURT YOURSELF AGAIN.
209
00:10:09,524 --> 00:10:11,025
I'LL BE FINE. JUST PROP
ME UP AGAINST A TREE.
210
00:10:11,092 --> 00:10:12,026
I AM GOING!
211
00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:13,027
OH, GOD!
212
00:10:13,094 --> 00:10:14,695
BABY! OH, MY-
213
00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:16,196
OH, GOD! OH!
214
00:10:16,264 --> 00:10:18,399
ARE YOU OK?
HERE, LET'S GET YOU-
215
00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:19,700
OH, GOD!
216
00:10:19,768 --> 00:10:21,469
YOU DON'T GET CUTE
WITH A KNEE.
217
00:10:21,536 --> 00:10:22,936
I KNOW THAT NOW.
218
00:10:23,004 --> 00:10:25,522
OH, SWEETHEART.
219
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:26,523
MMM...
220
00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:29,160
LISTEN, IS THERE
ANYTHING I CAN DO?
221
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:30,627
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
222
00:10:32,247 --> 00:10:35,048
ACTUALLY...
223
00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:37,985
THERE'S LIKE 3 LEFTOVER
WHITE CASTLE DOWNSTAIRS.
224
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,356
CAN YOU RE-HEAT THEM?
225
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,009
YES, YES.
THANKS.
226
00:10:49,998 --> 00:10:52,566
DOUG, PLEASE, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO CARRY MY BAG.
227
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:54,568
I WANT TO SEE
MY BABY OFF.
228
00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:57,238
ALL RIGHT.
LET ME GET IT.
229
00:10:57,305 --> 00:11:00,441
NO, I GOT IT!
I HAVE TO LEARN, OK!
230
00:11:04,379 --> 00:11:06,380
OK, BABY.
AND THANK YOU.
231
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,381
I GOT IT.
232
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,049
ALL RIGHT.
233
00:11:09,117 --> 00:11:11,452
DEACON, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE WITH HIM, RIGHT?
234
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,621
DON'T WORRY. WE'LL GET HIM
THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.
235
00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:15,673
OK. THANK YOU.
236
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:16,441
BYE, HONEY.
237
00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:18,125
ALL RIGHT.
238
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,797
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU TOLD HER,
239
00:11:23,865 --> 00:11:26,367
I'M NOT GIVING YOU
A SPONGE BATH.
240
00:11:26,434 --> 00:11:29,720
HOW ABOUT JUST A SHAMPOO?
241
00:11:29,788 --> 00:11:30,904
YOU ARE SUCH A WUSS.
242
00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:33,006
THIS GUY
JUST BOUGHT A STUN GUN.
243
00:11:33,074 --> 00:11:34,742
I WORK IN THE SUBWAY.
244
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:36,243
I NEED THIS
FOR PROTECTION.
245
00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:37,111
ACTUALLY,
IN HIS DEFENSE,
246
00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:38,846
HE HAS BEEN BEATEN,
SET ON FIRE,
247
00:11:38,914 --> 00:11:40,280
AND VIOLATED TWICE.
248
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,900
ANYWAY,
THAT LITTLE STUN GUN
249
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,585
IS NOT GOING
TO STOP ANYONE.
250
00:11:44,653 --> 00:11:47,238
REALLY? WHY DON'T I
TRY IT OUT ON YOU?
251
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:49,506
MAKE IT WORTH MY WHILE.
252
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:51,291
I'LL GIVE YOU 20 BUCKS.
253
00:11:51,359 --> 00:11:54,562
20 BUCKS... NO, THANKS.
254
00:11:54,629 --> 00:11:55,562
I'LL KICK IN 20.
255
00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:58,299
YEAH, ME, TOO.
256
00:11:58,367 --> 00:11:59,667
BUT YOU CAN'T SCREAM.
257
00:11:59,735 --> 00:12:02,035
OPEN YOUR JACKET.
258
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:12,780
PAY UP.
259
00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:19,620
I'LL HAVE TO OWE YOU.
260
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,425
OH,
THAT'S YOUR PHONE.
261
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:25,660
COULD YOU GET IT?
262
00:12:25,695 --> 00:12:26,577
YEAH.
263
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,480
HELLO.
264
00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:31,332
WH-OH, YEAH.
265
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,618
NO, NO, NO
- WE WANT IT, WE'LL TAKE IT.
266
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:34,986
ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
267
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,137
GUYS, REMEMBER HOW THE
SLAMBALL COURT WAS BOOKED?
268
00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,539
WELL, THERE'S BEEN
A CANCELLATION
269
00:12:38,607 --> 00:12:40,140
AND WE HAVE IT
WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
270
00:12:41,443 --> 00:12:42,443
THAT'S AWESOME.
271
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:44,077
WAIT A SEC.
YOU CAN'T GO.
272
00:12:44,145 --> 00:12:45,078
YOU JUST
CONVINCED CARRIE
273
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:46,614
YOU HAD
A MAJOR SETBACK.
274
00:12:46,681 --> 00:12:49,450
SO? I'LL JUST GET ALL BETTER
BY SLAMBALL.
275
00:12:49,517 --> 00:12:51,251
YOU'RE GOING TO GO FROM CRIPPLED
TO JUMPING ON A TRAMPOLINE
276
00:12:51,319 --> 00:12:52,252
IN 3 DAYS?
277
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,554
SHE'LL NEVER BUY IT.
278
00:12:53,622 --> 00:12:55,005
HOW ABOUT THIS?
279
00:12:55,073 --> 00:12:56,474
SHE COMES HOME
SUNDAY NIGHT, RIGHT?
280
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:58,241
I TELL HER
I ICED MY KNEE ALL WEEKEND
281
00:12:58,309 --> 00:12:59,777
AND THE SWELLING WENT DOWN.
282
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,880
MONDAY, I DROP MY CRUTCH
IN FRONT OF HER,
283
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:03,997
I PUT WEIGHT ON THE KNEE,
284
00:13:04,065 --> 00:13:05,582
IT GOES WELL.
285
00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:08,585
GUYS, I CAN'T SEE
OUT OF MY LEFT EYE.
286
00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:16,277
TUESDAY, MY DOCTOR CALLS,
THE X-RAYS LOOK GOOD.
287
00:13:16,344 --> 00:13:17,978
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
YOUR DOCTOR
288
00:13:18,046 --> 00:13:19,513
TO GO ALONG WITH THIS?
289
00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:22,182
I THINK SO,
BECAUSE MY DOCTOR IS YOU.
290
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:24,051
OOH! I'M AN ORTHOPEDIST.
291
00:13:24,119 --> 00:13:25,703
THEN, WEDNESDAY MORNING,
292
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:27,772
I INVITE CARRIE OUT
FOR A WALK.
293
00:13:27,839 --> 00:13:30,157
SHE BECOMES A PARTNER
IN MY RECOVERY,
294
00:13:30,225 --> 00:13:34,294
12 HOURS LATER,
SLAMBALL!
295
00:13:43,237 --> 00:13:45,872
HONEY, I'M HOME!
296
00:13:54,516 --> 00:13:55,449
HEY.
297
00:13:55,517 --> 00:13:56,684
HEY, BABY.
298
00:13:56,751 --> 00:13:59,052
YOU'RE HOME FROM THE
WEDDING EARLY. HOW WAS IT?
299
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,405
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I ENJOYED MORE,
300
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,807
THE MUD DANCING
OR THE ACTUAL CEREMONY,
301
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:05,276
WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE
WAS OFFICIATED
302
00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:06,743
BY A CROW.
303
00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:09,213
OFFICIATED BY A CROW.
304
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:10,981
ANYWAY, I'VE BEEN ICING
MY KNEE ALL WEEKEND,
305
00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:13,384
AND I THINK
THE SWELLING WENT DOWN.
306
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:15,569
I THINK I GOT SAP
IN MY HAIR.
307
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:16,721
OH, GEEZ.
308
00:14:16,788 --> 00:14:19,357
WOW, I GOT
A LITTLE WEIGHT ON HER.
309
00:14:19,424 --> 00:14:21,959
DOESN'T FEEL TOO BAD. ALMOST
A LITTLE BOUNCE ON THERE.
310
00:14:22,026 --> 00:14:23,160
BOUNCY.
311
00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:24,729
THAT'S GREAT, HONEY.
312
00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:27,398
HEY, MAYBE LATER ON
WE'LL GO FOR A WALK.
313
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:28,565
OK.
314
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:38,759
ARTHUR,
WHY ARE THE LIGHTS OFF?
315
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:44,331
YOU'LL SEE ME
WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
316
00:14:44,399 --> 00:14:44,998
WHAT'S GOING ON?
317
00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:49,002
I'M JUST LOOKING
AT SOME FAMILY PHOTOS.
318
00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:52,539
I THINK CARRIE WILL FIND
THIS ONE INTERESTING.
319
00:14:52,607 --> 00:14:57,211
NO CAST, NO CRUTCHES.
320
00:14:57,278 --> 00:15:00,081
SO WHAT? THAT PICTURE COULD
HAVE BEEN TAKEN A YEAR AGO.
321
00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:05,953
LOOK AT THE COVER
OF THAT MAGAZINE.
322
00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:10,607
IT FEATURES A CLEARLY
PREGNANT KATIE HOLMES.
323
00:15:10,675 --> 00:15:12,342
DAMN IT!
324
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,195
AND THE NEXT ONE
WAS TAKEN
325
00:15:14,262 --> 00:15:16,931
BEFORE YESTERDAY'S
KNICKERBOCKER GAME.
326
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:23,320
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE-
327
00:15:23,388 --> 00:15:25,539
YOU RECEIVING THE NEWS
ABOUT THE RETURN
328
00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:28,041
OF THE McRIB SANDWICH.
329
00:15:30,795 --> 00:15:33,331
TURN IT OFF.
330
00:15:33,398 --> 00:15:34,915
TURN IT OFF!
331
00:15:37,985 --> 00:15:39,453
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
OLD MAN?
332
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,422
I WANT WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
333
00:15:41,489 --> 00:15:42,623
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
334
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:43,958
I'M TALKING ABOUT POWER.
335
00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:46,259
FROM NOW ON, I'M GETTING
EVERYTHING I WANT FROM CARRIE
336
00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:47,394
THROUGH YOU!
337
00:15:48,362 --> 00:15:49,380
OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
338
00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:50,581
I'M TAKING THIS.
339
00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:52,416
THE NEGATIVES
ARE IN A LOCKER
340
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:55,402
AT THE STATEN ISLAND Y.
341
00:15:57,438 --> 00:15:58,438
HEY, HONEY?
342
00:15:58,506 --> 00:16:01,375
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU WANT FOR DINNER?
343
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:04,277
LIVER AND ONIONS.
344
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,446
OH, NO, NO, NO-
345
00:16:06,514 --> 00:16:08,032
LIVER AND ONIONS.
SAY IT.
346
00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:13,370
LIVER AND ONIONS.
347
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:16,340
REALLY? OK.
348
00:16:22,747 --> 00:16:25,065
YO, SLAMBALL TIME.
349
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:26,366
I CAN'T GO.
350
00:16:26,434 --> 00:16:28,535
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE 3-DAY PLAN?
351
00:16:28,603 --> 00:16:30,321
IT WAS GOING GREAT
UNTIL ARTHUR FOUND OUT.
352
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:31,855
NOW HE'S BLACKMAILING ME,
353
00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:33,690
SO I GOT TO KEEP
PRETENDING I'M HURT.
354
00:16:33,758 --> 00:16:34,975
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
355
00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:37,244
HE'S MAKING ME SORT OUT
HIS DIRTY PLAYING CARDS...
356
00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:39,913
BY CUP SIZE.
357
00:16:39,981 --> 00:16:43,917
THAT ONE BELONGS
IN ITS OWN PILE.
358
00:16:43,985 --> 00:16:45,853
COME ON, MAN.
WE NEED 4 GUYS.
359
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,755
DOUGLAS,
STOP DILLY-DALLYING.
360
00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:48,989
I'VE HAD SOME DRAMBUIE
361
00:16:49,057 --> 00:16:51,224
AND I WANT TO PLAY
SOLITAIRE.
362
00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:55,663
LET'S DO THIS.
I'M DOIN' IT.
363
00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:56,897
YOU SURE?
364
00:16:56,965 --> 00:16:59,099
I'LL JUST TELL CARRIE
I'M GOING TO PHYSICAL THERAPY.
365
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:00,334
WHAT ABOUT ARTHUR?
366
00:17:00,401 --> 00:17:02,703
GIVE ME 10 MINUTES.
367
00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:07,408
HOW'S THE BORSCHT?
368
00:17:07,475 --> 00:17:09,643
FIRST-RATE.
369
00:17:09,711 --> 00:17:12,162
SHAME CARRIE HAD TO GO
ALL THE WAY TO YONKERS
370
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:16,133
TO GET IT FOR "YOU."
371
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,701
YEAH, IT'S TOO BAD.
372
00:17:19,203 --> 00:17:23,156
STRANGE... I FEEL
A BIT LIGHT-HEADED.
373
00:17:25,059 --> 00:17:26,893
THAT'S FUNNY.
WHAT DO I HAVE HERE?
374
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:32,382
OH, THE SLEEPING PILLS
THAT CARRIE GOT FOR "ME."
375
00:17:35,870 --> 00:17:39,606
I MUST SAY, YOU PLAYED THE
PART OF THE LUMBERING IMBECILE
376
00:17:39,674 --> 00:17:41,475
QUITE WELL.
377
00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:43,944
WELL, THANK YOU.
AND WHEN YOU START TO DROOL,
378
00:17:44,012 --> 00:17:45,445
KEEP IT IN THE BOWL.
379
00:17:53,321 --> 00:17:54,287
GIVE ME THE BALL.
380
00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:56,273
I'M OPEN!
381
00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:07,284
HI,
I'M CARRIE HEFFERNAN.
382
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:08,485
OH, YOU'RE DOUG'S WIFE.
383
00:18:08,553 --> 00:18:11,087
YES. MY FATHER
WROTE ME THIS NOTE
384
00:18:11,155 --> 00:18:12,889
BEFORE HE FELL ASLEEP.
385
00:18:12,957 --> 00:18:14,258
"HELP... DOUG."
386
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:16,109
HE HAD AN APPOINTMENT
WITH YOU TODAY.
387
00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:17,661
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
388
00:18:17,728 --> 00:18:18,546
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
IN 2 WEEKS,
389
00:18:18,613 --> 00:18:19,813
EVER SINCE HIS KNEE
WAS BETTER.
390
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:22,883
BETTER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HE HAD A HUGE SETBACK.
391
00:18:22,951 --> 00:18:25,786
HE DID?
WELL, HAVE HIM CALL ME.
392
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:37,397
YEAH! WHOO!
393
00:18:37,465 --> 00:18:39,683
WHOO-HOO-HOO-YEOW!
394
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:40,884
YEAH!
395
00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:46,890
HEY... CAR.
396
00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:49,259
KIND OF
CRAZY THERAPY, HUH?
397
00:18:49,327 --> 00:18:52,112
YOU'VE BEEN FAKING
THIS WHOLE TIME?
398
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:54,498
NO,
NOT THE WHOLE TIME.
399
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:55,949
GET OFF OF THERE.
400
00:18:56,017 --> 00:18:57,034
NO.
401
00:18:57,101 --> 00:18:59,169
DOUG, DON'T BOUNCE
AWAY FROM ME.
402
00:19:00,955 --> 00:19:03,623
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU PUT ME THROUGH? HUH?
403
00:19:03,691 --> 00:19:05,792
ALL THE THINGS
YOU MADE ME DO FOR YOU.
404
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:08,895
SOME THINGS
I CAN'T EVEN MENTION.
405
00:19:08,963 --> 00:19:10,330
YOU MADE ME FEEL
SO GUILTY
406
00:19:10,398 --> 00:19:11,465
THAT I'VE BEEN
ACTUALLY LISTENING
407
00:19:11,532 --> 00:19:13,567
TO ANGER MANAGEMENT
TAPES.
408
00:19:13,635 --> 00:19:15,202
YOU MAY WANT
TO POP ONE IN NOW.
409
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,803
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
410
00:19:16,871 --> 00:19:18,538
LET ME TELL YOU SOME-
411
00:19:18,606 --> 00:19:20,240
DOUG... OK.
412
00:19:20,307 --> 00:19:22,175
DOUG...
413
00:19:25,113 --> 00:19:25,963
YOU KNOW WHAT, DOUG?
414
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:27,748
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THIS!
415
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:28,982
I'M SORRY, OK?
416
00:19:29,050 --> 00:19:31,401
OH, YOU'RE SORRY.
THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
417
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,823
YEAH. IT'S FUN, RIGHT?
418
00:19:36,891 --> 00:19:38,826
I'M STILL MAD AT YOU.
419
00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:39,693
TRY THE SIT DOWN.
420
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:40,778
I DON'T WANT TO.
421
00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,045
WHOO!
422
00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:43,263
GIVE IT A SHOT.
423
00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:44,798
COME ON.
424
00:19:44,866 --> 00:19:46,666
WHOO!
425
00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:49,419
THERE YOU GO!
IT'S GREAT, RIGHT?
426
00:19:49,487 --> 00:19:50,303
BOUNCE IT OUT.
427
00:19:50,371 --> 00:19:51,438
GO HIGHER.
428
00:19:51,506 --> 00:19:52,756
I DON'T WANT TO.
I'M SCARED.
429
00:19:52,823 --> 00:19:53,957
YOU DO IT, HONEY.
430
00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:55,492
OK, WATCH ME.
431
00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:57,461
GO HIGHER, BABY.
432
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,846
HIGHER, BABY.
COME ON, HIGHER!
433
00:19:58,913 --> 00:19:59,963
HIGHER!
434
00:20:00,865 --> 00:20:01,915
OHH!
435
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:23,103
I GOT DANNY.
436
00:20:24,438 --> 00:20:26,139
I'LL TAKE CARRIE.
437
00:20:27,608 --> 00:20:28,541
I GOT ARTHUR.
438
00:20:35,216 --> 00:20:37,150
UM...
439
00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:40,971
COME ON!
440
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,340
ALL RIGHT.
29213
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