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2
00:00:15,247 --> 00:00:16,681
oh. here's some seats
right here, honey.
3
00:00:16,749 --> 00:00:18,116
slow down. i see
four down there.
4
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,918
you gonna sit
in the front row?
5
00:00:19,985 --> 00:00:22,754
sure. i like to stretch out
my legs and unbutton a little.
6
00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:26,524
you're sittin' with him?
7
00:00:26,592 --> 00:00:27,926
he's got
my goobers.
8
00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:30,195
why didn't we send him
in to chicken little
9
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:31,662
like i wanted?
uh...
10
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:34,349
because cartoon chickens
give my father nightmares.
11
00:00:34,416 --> 00:00:35,850
where've you been?
12
00:00:37,102 --> 00:00:39,604
oh, look.
it's father melley.
13
00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,706
oh, great. we haven't been to church
14
00:00:41,774 --> 00:00:42,840
in a really long
time, and now
15
00:00:42,908 --> 00:00:44,742
he spots us at a
farrelly brothers movie?
16
00:00:45,511 --> 00:00:46,927
doug? carrie!
17
00:00:46,995 --> 00:00:47,679
oh, hey!
hey!
18
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,064
what a surprise! father melley!
19
00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:50,698
is this seat open?
20
00:00:51,683 --> 00:00:53,067
sure!
yeah!
21
00:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,235
yeah. sure. absolutely.
22
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:55,837
excuse me.
ok.
23
00:00:57,456 --> 00:00:59,724
and that was
irving berlin's white christmas,
24
00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:02,727
the highest-grossing
christmas song of all time.
25
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,563
hmm.
26
00:01:05,631 --> 00:01:06,697
what?
27
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:09,500
you write one
hokey holiday song,
28
00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:11,136
and you're set
for life.
29
00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:14,906
actually, irving berlin
wrote over 1,200 songs.
30
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,974
oh, why don't you
just marry him?
31
00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:18,243
what's your problem?
32
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:19,644
i got no problem.
33
00:01:19,711 --> 00:01:20,778
i'm saying we should
write our own song
34
00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:22,747
and cash in
on this christmas thing.
35
00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:23,915
you're serious?
36
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:26,251
why not? i'll handle
the lyrics,
37
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,520
and you seem like the
type that can write music.
38
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,971
what's that
supposed to mean?
39
00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:31,255
i think you know
what it means,
40
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:33,608
mr. i-just-haven't-
found-the-right-girl.
41
00:01:36,378 --> 00:01:38,062
what do you got goin' on
this holiday season?
42
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:41,649
oh, well, i am up to my
eyeballs in preparations.
43
00:01:41,717 --> 00:01:44,952
there's a toy drive, bake
sale, our outreach programs.
44
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:47,222
but the lord has blessed
me with congregants
45
00:01:47,289 --> 00:01:50,458
who are kind and generous
enough to donate their time.
46
00:01:53,745 --> 00:01:55,597
of course, with
everything bein' so busy,
47
00:01:55,665 --> 00:01:57,666
we could always use
a little more help.
48
00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:58,900
so if you guys...
49
00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,885
oh, shhhhh.
50
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,180
so if you two'd
be willing
51
00:02:13,248 --> 00:02:15,166
to pitch in,
that'd be great.
52
00:02:24,726 --> 00:02:25,860
oh, hey, babe.
hey.
53
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:26,861
where you goin'?
54
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:27,929
oh, father melley
called.
55
00:02:27,997 --> 00:02:29,697
i got manger duty.
56
00:02:29,765 --> 00:02:30,999
what's that?
57
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,068
i gotta guard the nativity
scene down at the church.
58
00:02:33,135 --> 00:02:35,203
apparently last year the
whole thing was vandalized,
59
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:36,838
and there was myrrh
everywhere.
60
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,058
i think i'm gettin' sick. feel my head.
61
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:43,361
d
- doug, come on. you are not sick, honey.
62
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,929
we got roped in.
suck it up.
63
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:46,581
i have to make something
for the bake sale.
64
00:02:46,648 --> 00:02:48,716
you don't hear
me complaining.
65
00:02:48,784 --> 00:02:50,184
ok, you get to work
indoors with cake batter,
66
00:02:50,252 --> 00:02:51,936
so don't even. ok?
67
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,247
what rhymes
with "poinsettia"?
68
00:03:03,315 --> 00:03:05,633
ooh. that's... not
an easy word to rhyme.
69
00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:07,001
damn it,
i just had it.
70
00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:09,920
don't speak unless
you're spoken to.
71
00:03:09,988 --> 00:03:11,739
you did just speak to
me. you asked me what rhy-
72
00:03:11,807 --> 00:03:13,858
i lost it again!
you are impossible!
73
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,311
stop yelling at me!
74
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:18,596
i can't create in a hostile environment!
75
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:21,832
well, i wouldn't be so hostile
if you had one ounce of talent!
76
00:03:22,718 --> 00:03:25,303
you kick me again,
i'm leaving.
77
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:28,223
i'm sorry, son. it's just
the choir down at the mall
78
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,058
is supposed to debut
our song tomorrow,
79
00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:31,392
and we haven't
got diddly.
80
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,828
believe me, i want
this as bad as you. ok?
81
00:03:33,896 --> 00:03:35,296
i mean, i work
in the subway
82
00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:37,465
and share a tiny apartment
with another man,
83
00:03:37,532 --> 00:03:40,368
and... i really want
calf implants.
84
00:03:40,435 --> 00:03:42,603
i mean...
this is my ticket.
85
00:03:42,671 --> 00:03:43,855
your calves
are spindly.
86
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,824
ok, you know what?
let's...
87
00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,525
back off "poinsettia,"
and-and let's focus
88
00:03:47,593 --> 00:03:48,559
on a word that's
easier to rhyme,
89
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:51,095
like, uh...
"tree" or "holly."
90
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:52,397
what did you say?
91
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,214
um... "holly."
92
00:03:53,281 --> 00:03:55,199
"holly."
now...
93
00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:57,752
what sounds
christmassy
94
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,454
and rhymes
with "holly"?
95
00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:02,323
"jolly."
you got it!
96
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:03,591
come here, you!
97
00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:17,054
what's up?
98
00:04:18,223 --> 00:04:21,159
yeah, laugh and walk,
boys, laugh and walk.
99
00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:23,261
steppin', huh?
100
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,597
hey, that goes for you
guys, too. let's go.
101
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,732
keep it movin'. it's
the same as last year.
102
00:04:27,799 --> 00:04:29,267
keep it movin'.
you saw it.
103
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,806
excuse me. do you
have the time?
104
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:37,108
who wants to know?
105
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,510
oh. sorry. i'm-
i'm larry kelly.
106
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:40,795
i'm around the corner
guarding a christmas tree.
107
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:41,863
oh.
hi.
108
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,614
hey. yeah.
it's about, uh...
109
00:04:43,682 --> 00:04:45,650
9:15.
doug heffernan.
110
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,518
how's, uh... how's
it goin' on your beat?
111
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:50,371
not bad. not bad. couple
of curious dogs. yeah.
112
00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:52,557
collies. yeah. they tried
to give me some trouble.
113
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,726
i sent them packin'.
114
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,310
hi, sweetie. what are you doin' here?
115
00:04:56,378 --> 00:04:57,979
hi. they're sayin'
it might snow,
116
00:04:58,046 --> 00:05:00,547
so i brought you some
soup and your heavy jacket.
117
00:05:00,615 --> 00:05:03,201
oh... thanks, honey.
that's great. this is
118
00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:05,136
doug heffernan,
fellow parishioner.
119
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:06,637
doug,
my wife cathy.
120
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,506
nice to meet you,
doug. nice to meet you.
121
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,608
oh. if i'd known there
were gonna be two of you,
122
00:05:10,675 --> 00:05:13,644
i would've brought some extra
minestrone and another jacket.
123
00:05:13,712 --> 00:05:14,645
hmm.
124
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,666
that's all right. my
wife's gonna be stoppin' by
125
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:20,668
any minute, i'm sure.
126
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,974
yeah, i'll just give her a
call, see what she's doin'.
127
00:05:27,042 --> 00:05:28,792
mmm.
128
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,450
hello.
129
00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:38,035
hey. honey,
it's me.
130
00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:39,671
hey.
how's it goin'?
131
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:41,673
oh. it's cold.
132
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:44,141
i tell you. i could
really go for some soup.
133
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:46,027
oh, that's so funny.
i just had some.
134
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,349
uh-huh.
135
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:53,685
you know, uh...
136
00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:55,753
they're sayin' it's gonna snow tonight.
137
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:59,006
oh, really? well, try not to
track any in the house. ok?
138
00:05:59,074 --> 00:06:00,992
oh, i just
messed my pinky.
139
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,526
i gotta go.
i gotta go.
140
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:07,865
i love you, too,
baby. yeah.
141
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,375
good golly!
142
00:06:33,024 --> 00:06:33,807
not bad, huh?
143
00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:36,060
are you deaf? that was a train wreck.
144
00:06:37,996 --> 00:06:40,047
i thought
it went ok.
145
00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:42,900
it's hopelessly
generic! it's pap!
146
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:46,170
yeah. we didn't blow too
many people away, huh?
147
00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:48,239
course not, because
we're not saying anything
148
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:51,242
that hasn't been said
a thousand times before
149
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:53,745
by burl ives,
god rest his soul.
150
00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:57,414
possibly. i have no idea
if he's dead or alive.
151
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:59,984
that's great. i gotta
go call dr. blaustein
152
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,086
and tell him to cancel my calf surgery.
153
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,606
wait, wait, wait. what did you just say?
154
00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:07,108
um... calf surgery?
155
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,609
no, no, no.
before that.
156
00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:10,778
i have to call-
in the middle.
157
00:07:10,845 --> 00:07:11,779
dr. blaustein.
158
00:07:11,846 --> 00:07:12,780
yes.
159
00:07:12,847 --> 00:07:14,115
he a jewish fella?
160
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,283
yeah. why?
161
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,551
that's it.
what the world needs
162
00:07:16,618 --> 00:07:18,052
is a new hanukkah
song.
163
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,287
aside from
dreidel dreidel
164
00:07:19,354 --> 00:07:21,355
and that
adam sandler thing,
165
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:23,724
it's an untapped market.
166
00:07:23,792 --> 00:07:26,611
oh, yeah. yeah, and, you
know, i'm 1/8th jewish.
167
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,113
sweet. i'm gonna grab
a bagel and a schmear.
168
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:31,465
settle up
with the choir. go.
169
00:07:43,678 --> 00:07:45,112
hey, babe.
where you goin'?
170
00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:48,115
hey. i'm headin'
back to the manger.
171
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:50,217
oh. so you won't
be home for dinner?
172
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:51,936
no. why?
what are you makin'?
173
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:55,056
uh, a phone call
to shanghal gardens.
174
00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:57,775
hey, uh...
175
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,446
hope it doesn't snow
tonight, but if it does,
176
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:04,081
you'll... you'll bring me
my heavy coat, right?
177
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:06,900
why don't you just take
it with you now, babe?
178
00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:10,321
i just thought that,
you know, like...
179
00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:13,374
ok, yeah. that's fine.
180
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,562
so, how's the, uh,
cake comin' along?
181
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:18,779
wha-what?
you know,
182
00:08:18,847 --> 00:08:19,897
the cake
you told father melley
183
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:21,065
you're making
for the bake sale.
184
00:08:21,132 --> 00:08:22,767
oh. right. that.
185
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,836
uh... i actually
haven't decided
186
00:08:24,903 --> 00:08:25,970
what i'm gonna
make yet,
187
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:29,306
but whatever i decide, it gon' be good.
188
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:33,644
seriously, you should
probably settle on somethin'.
189
00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:36,547
i will, honey. i have till saturday. ok?
190
00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:39,350
i know. it's just that, you
know, larry's wife cathy,
191
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,819
she's already begun the
prep work on her cake.
192
00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:43,321
oh. prep work.
193
00:08:43,388 --> 00:08:44,455
oh, i better get out
194
00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:47,658
my sugar
and my butter.
195
00:08:47,726 --> 00:08:50,994
i only have 3 days
to make cake.
196
00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:56,534
she doesn't actually sound
like that, but whatever.
197
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,069
yeah, hello. order for delivery, please.
198
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:00,538
ok.
199
00:09:04,092 --> 00:09:06,860
oy! what a schnorra!
200
00:09:16,588 --> 00:09:18,355
thud.
201
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:21,859
i guess people love that dreidel
song more than we thought.
202
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:23,260
this is humbling.
203
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:24,862
so, what now, boss?
204
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,664
i don't know.
grease the choir
205
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,532
while i figure out
our next move.
206
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,894
yeah!
207
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:11,759
hey.
208
00:10:11,826 --> 00:10:12,760
all right!
209
00:10:12,827 --> 00:10:13,927
it's 9:00.
210
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:16,597
the bake sale's
tomorrow...
211
00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:18,065
and i'm starin' at an empty cake plate.
212
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,600
i need
some answers.
213
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:21,368
relax, honey.
214
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,504
i was gonna make one, but i had
to work late and i'm exhausted,
215
00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:28,042
so, thank ya...
hungarian bakery.
216
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,827
you bought... a cake?
217
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,797
yeah. and once they scraped
off "happy retirement, gus,"
218
00:10:32,864 --> 00:10:34,932
it was good to go.
219
00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:38,035
oh, the new people
came. good.
220
00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:39,686
nnggg...
221
00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:43,274
carrie...
222
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,277
you can't bring a bought
cake to a church bake sale.
223
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,611
it-it's wrong.
224
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:48,729
says who?
225
00:10:48,797 --> 00:10:49,530
uh... the bible.
226
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,818
look, doug,
just relax. ok?
227
00:10:53,885 --> 00:10:55,285
i'm sure i'm
not the only one
228
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:57,521
who's bringing
a bought cake. ok?
229
00:10:57,589 --> 00:10:58,723
well, i know
larry's wife isn't.
230
00:10:58,791 --> 00:10:59,791
she's makin'
a volcano cake.
231
00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:00,792
do you know
what that is?
232
00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:02,293
it erupts
caramel lava
233
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,129
and then drowns a gingerbread village.
234
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,384
any chance you're
gonna be in that village?
235
00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:13,654
nice joke.
that's real funny.
236
00:11:13,722 --> 00:11:14,989
you know what's real
funny, though? that fact
237
00:11:15,056 --> 00:11:16,724
that i actually thought you
were gonna make this cake.
238
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:18,959
what does that mean? it
means you're not wife-ish!
239
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:21,212
i'm not whitefish?
240
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,981
wife... ish!
wifely. wife-like.
241
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,850
you-you never
bring me my slippers
242
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,052
or tell me i'm clever
or knit me somethin'!
243
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,855
oh, well, i'm sorry i don't
wait on you hand and foot, doug.
244
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,390
that's because
i work for a living!
245
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,825
y
- well, so does the woman in the commercial,
246
00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,995
and she manages to get
everything done with acid reflux!
247
00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,567
so, why don't you
marry her,
248
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,835
and i'll marry the guy in the
pepsi commercial that i like.
249
00:11:44,903 --> 00:11:47,237
oh, 'cause he'd never be with
you, because you know what?
250
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:48,639
he'd have to get
his own pepsi!
251
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:49,840
whatever.
you know what?
252
00:11:49,908 --> 00:11:51,341
you're acting
like a lunatic.
253
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,511
this is the cake that i'm
bring, so just deal with it.
254
00:11:53,578 --> 00:11:54,745
you know what?
you're absolutely right.
255
00:11:54,813 --> 00:11:56,013
you know what? this is fine! stop! stop!
256
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,615
let me just cut it up
for you! hyah! hyah!
257
00:11:57,682 --> 00:11:58,682
stop it.
258
00:12:01,753 --> 00:12:03,020
yeah.
ok.
259
00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:07,174
fantastic. i'll just
buy another one.
260
00:12:07,242 --> 00:12:09,026
you know, carrie...
when i told people
261
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:11,662
you were bakin' a cake
for the church...
262
00:12:11,729 --> 00:12:13,697
i actually felt proud.
263
00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:15,866
guess i was
just bein' naive.
264
00:12:29,264 --> 00:12:31,131
what are you doin'?
265
00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:33,867
i'm baking your freakin'
cake, so get out.
266
00:12:35,136 --> 00:12:37,405
really? what... what kind?
267
00:12:37,472 --> 00:12:39,556
well, it's gonna be this
whole delicious fudge thing
268
00:12:39,624 --> 00:12:43,460
that's gonna make cathy's
volcano look like a pile of crap.
269
00:12:43,528 --> 00:12:45,880
is it in the oven?
can i see it?
270
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:47,715
actually,
i haven't started yet.
271
00:12:48,650 --> 00:12:50,201
looks like you started.
272
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:52,169
i can't do it! ok?
273
00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:53,854
i tried! i mean,
all these recipes
274
00:12:53,922 --> 00:12:55,923
need things that i
- that i don't know how to use,
275
00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:58,926
like a food processor
and big spoons!
276
00:13:00,128 --> 00:13:01,762
and how do you
fold an egg?
277
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:03,397
it's impossible!
it's witchcraft!
278
00:13:03,464 --> 00:13:05,249
ok. just relax. ok?
279
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,051
look, we'll find you somethin'
here that we can make.
280
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,154
all right? um... hey. how
'bout this? how 'bout rum cake?
281
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:13,557
oh, i tried that. but then i got
nervous, and i drank all the rum.
282
00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:17,895
you're right, honey. i'm
not wife-ish or whitefish,
283
00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:19,730
whatever it is
you called me.
284
00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:21,732
all those things you said about me
- it's true.
285
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:24,068
oh, just-hey, stop.
stop, stop, stop, stop!
286
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,803
stop! ok?! look, you
know what? i got an idea.
287
00:13:26,955 --> 00:13:28,121
we'll-we'll
just call my mom.
288
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:29,874
aw, come on! what
are you doin' to me?
289
00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:30,975
look...
290
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,778
she'll talk us through
an easy recipe. ok?
291
00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:37,598
oh, fine.
i'm too drunk to fight.
292
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:39,667
hello?
293
00:13:39,734 --> 00:13:40,784
hey, ma, it's me.
294
00:13:40,852 --> 00:13:43,087
oh, my god.
what's wrong?
295
00:13:43,154 --> 00:13:46,423
nothing's wrong. look, i just
need your help on something.
296
00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:48,625
well, all right.
what is it, darling?
297
00:13:48,693 --> 00:13:51,695
well, uh, tomorrow
is our church bake sale,
298
00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:54,999
and carrie
is gonna bake a cake.
299
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,635
oh.
300
00:13:58,386 --> 00:13:59,703
anyway, um,
301
00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:00,438
we were wonderin'
if you had like, uh,
302
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:03,290
an easy recipe to,
you know, give us.
303
00:14:03,358 --> 00:14:06,727
let me think.
a nice, easy cake recipe.
304
00:14:06,795 --> 00:14:08,929
hey, how 'bout that, uh,
chocolate crumbly thing?
305
00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:11,532
no. she
can't do that.
306
00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:14,902
hey, well, at least i can
match my pants and my shirt-
307
00:14:20,174 --> 00:14:21,308
this may be
our last chance.
308
00:14:21,376 --> 00:14:22,409
well, just get
the frickin' recipe!
309
00:14:22,477 --> 00:14:24,879
all right. right. ma,
you-you got anything?
310
00:14:24,946 --> 00:14:26,046
how about
a lemon bundt cake?
311
00:14:26,113 --> 00:14:28,482
very easy.
a monkey could make it.
312
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:31,501
a monkey
could make it.
313
00:14:44,632 --> 00:14:46,333
carrie. the cake.
huh?
314
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:47,667
it's done. it's done.
i'm up. i'm up. i'm up.
315
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:50,170
let's take
a look at it.
316
00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:51,171
ok.
317
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,159
i love you.
318
00:14:58,246 --> 00:14:59,346
i love you.
319
00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,091
maybe it'll look
better if we put it
320
00:15:11,158 --> 00:15:13,360
on the cake plate. yeah,
let's do that. let's do that.
321
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,357
am i dreaming
that we're giants?
322
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,029
nope.
323
00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:34,531
are we giants?
324
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,868
i told you
we needed more batter!
325
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,569
well, you shoulda put more
baking powder in there!
326
00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:41,038
you have no idea
how much a pinch is!
327
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,139
i know what
a pinch is!
328
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:43,056
ok?
aah! aah!
329
00:15:43,124 --> 00:15:44,508
oh, you wanna go?!
no, come on!
330
00:15:44,575 --> 00:15:46,377
stop! stop it!
stop it! come on!
331
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:48,912
we've been up all night! i'm hung-over.
332
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:52,316
and nobody's gonna want
to buy this stupid doll cake!
333
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:53,718
what are we gonna do?!
334
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:57,621
i don't know! this is my
first bad experience with cake!
335
00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,556
all right, you know what? i'm
just gonna see what place is open.
336
00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:00,924
we're gonna buy one. ok?
337
00:16:00,992 --> 00:16:03,227
n- no! no! look,
i got an idea. ok?
338
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,896
we'll bring the covered
cake plate to the bake sale.
339
00:16:05,963 --> 00:16:07,498
and i'll just say to
everybody, "hey, everybody,
340
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,216
i'm gonna buy my wife's
cake." and then we'll leave
341
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,751
with the same
covered cake plate,
342
00:16:10,819 --> 00:16:12,753
and nobody has to
know that the cake...
343
00:16:14,489 --> 00:16:16,090
never existed.
344
00:16:18,459 --> 00:16:20,394
so you're ok
with an invisible cake,
345
00:16:20,495 --> 00:16:22,663
but you won't let me
buy a real one.
346
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,397
you know what? you can
judge me when you sober up.
347
00:16:24,465 --> 00:16:25,833
now, grab the lid.
348
00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:30,203
oh, the lid
is made of glass!
349
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:32,773
everybody will know
there's nothing in there!
350
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,541
come on. that's it. it's over. no!
351
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:35,943
wait. i j-
i'll tell you what.
352
00:16:36,011 --> 00:16:38,311
just grab me somethin'
cake-shaped and a can of frosting.
353
00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:39,613
ok.
354
00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:41,382
we don't have
any frosting.
355
00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:43,050
in my nightstand! go!
ok.
356
00:16:48,122 --> 00:16:49,289
observed!
357
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,047
i thought that went over rather well.
358
00:16:57,115 --> 00:16:58,732
are you kidding?!
359
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,200
the only song
that bombed worse
360
00:17:00,268 --> 00:17:02,302
was that's
wednesday to me.
361
00:17:03,371 --> 00:17:04,671
well, we gave it
a whirl.
362
00:17:04,739 --> 00:17:06,273
come on. let's sneak
in to chicken little.
363
00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:08,142
what? no. arthur.
364
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:10,010
i'm not gonna go see
a movie with you. ok?
365
00:17:10,077 --> 00:17:12,546
i- i've spent over $600
on this choir.
366
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,148
my calves are
smaller than ever.
367
00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:16,316
the only thing i feel
like doing right now
368
00:17:16,384 --> 00:17:18,918
is reaching down your
throat, grabbing your heart,
369
00:17:18,986 --> 00:17:22,322
and crushing it with my bare
hands. do you understand me?
370
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:24,424
i understand you've
written the first line
371
00:17:24,492 --> 00:17:26,893
of a hit
breakup song!
372
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,545
come here, you!
373
00:17:36,905 --> 00:17:37,838
how's it goin'?
374
00:17:37,906 --> 00:17:38,839
nice
to see you.
375
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:40,640
oh.
oh, hey.
376
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:41,909
season's greetings.
season's greetings.
377
00:17:41,976 --> 00:17:43,276
oh. thank you.
hey.
378
00:17:43,428 --> 00:17:45,195
my wife carrie. hi. larry.
379
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:46,479
hi.
my wife cathy.
380
00:17:46,547 --> 00:17:48,481
oh. hi. nice to meet you.
381
00:17:48,549 --> 00:17:50,183
yeah. i've heard
so much about you
382
00:17:50,251 --> 00:17:52,485
and your famous
erupting cakes.
383
00:17:53,788 --> 00:17:55,272
actually, i'm
a little nervous.
384
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,874
it's supposed to be
bubbling by now.
385
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:00,494
and it's not? after all that prep work?
386
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:01,695
ok.
387
00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:03,630
i'm just saying...
388
00:18:03,698 --> 00:18:06,433
we'll catch you guys later. ok.
389
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:07,184
ok.
bye-bye.
390
00:18:07,251 --> 00:18:08,369
hey. there's
father melley.
391
00:18:08,436 --> 00:18:09,469
let's do this.
ok.
392
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:13,206
then i went blond in the
eighties. but who didn't?
393
00:18:14,609 --> 00:18:17,044
anyway, try the punch. it's divine.
394
00:18:18,112 --> 00:18:19,379
hello, you two.
395
00:18:19,447 --> 00:18:22,115
carrie.
thank you so much.
396
00:18:22,183 --> 00:18:24,652
oh, no problem.
397
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:27,387
wow. look at all
the great cakes here.
398
00:18:27,455 --> 00:18:29,022
gosh, i wonder which
one i'm gonna choose.
399
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,391
i don't know. well, i guess
it's gonna be this one.
400
00:18:31,459 --> 00:18:32,659
get the car.
ok.
401
00:18:32,727 --> 00:18:33,727
all right.
402
00:18:33,795 --> 00:18:34,895
whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
403
00:18:34,963 --> 00:18:36,563
can't let you
do that.
404
00:18:36,631 --> 00:18:37,864
well, why not?
405
00:18:37,932 --> 00:18:39,400
we don't do the
traditional bake sale here.
406
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,734
we do something
much more fun.
407
00:18:40,802 --> 00:18:42,202
it's called
a cake walk.
408
00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:43,904
huh.
409
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,072
what's that?
410
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,158
well, uh, we put the cakes in a circle,
411
00:18:47,225 --> 00:18:48,825
and the men
walk around them.
412
00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:50,060
and when
the music stops,
413
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,462
if you're in front
of a cake, you buy it.
414
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:54,998
if you're not, you keep
goin'. it's a panic.
415
00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:58,485
uh-huh.
416
00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:00,053
so, do you want the lid on or off?
417
00:19:00,121 --> 00:19:01,421
on. on. there's
some stuff in there
418
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:02,756
that shouldn't be
exposed to air.
419
00:19:04,659 --> 00:19:05,592
all righty.
420
00:19:06,995 --> 00:19:08,762
ok, everyone!
let's gather around
421
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:10,897
for the main event!
422
00:19:10,965 --> 00:19:11,749
great plan.
423
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:13,734
i didn't count
on a cake walk.
424
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:01,982
sorry, man.
425
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:33,247
what happened?!
426
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:35,348
i've never seen
caramel do that.
427
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:42,022
hey... this is a chocolate
frosted couch pillow!
428
00:20:46,076 --> 00:20:47,844
now!
get the car!
429
00:20:59,207 --> 00:21:00,941
dad? what's the matter?
430
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,644
i saw chicken little.
431
00:21:06,447 --> 00:21:07,464
come on.
30790
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