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This restaurant's supposed to be incredible.

Yeah, I hope you know what you're ordering,

'cause I'm gonna hit the ground runnin'.

- I know the drill. - All right.

Uhp! You just passed a spot.

I can do better than that.

OK, what was wrong with that spot?

It's too tight.

Yeah. That's why the Hummer's backin' into it.

That's all right. Uh! Here we go.

Here we go, here we go.

And it's a moped.

That's selfish!

OK, honey. All right. Oh. Oh.

That woman's getting into her car.

Oh. OK.

Oh, come on.

Gotta put the baby in the car seat.

Unbelievable.

We never had car seats, and we're fine.

- Nope. - You know?

Come on, lady.

I'm gettin' too much heat. I'm outta here.

I can't believe we're going around again!

You know what? Clam it. OK? Thank you.

- I will find us a spot. - Like the one you just missed?

Because your giant head was in the way!

You know what? I'm not even hungry anymore. Just take me home.

Fine. You know what? You wanna go home?

You can go home. But you're walkin', sister.

Fine. Let me out.

Get out! Out you go!

Go!

- Happy anniversary! - Same to you!

I'm just sayin'. I've delivered to hot people.

I've delivered to naked people.

They're never the same people.

You know, one time I delivered to a guy with Spock ears.

You always gotta steal my thunder, huh?

- Hey, Deac. - Oh, hey, man.

Hey, who had this locker before me?

Uh... Gomez.

Yeah, well, uh, judging from the pictures he left up,

he liked the big girls, huh?

Yes, she did.

Oh, hey, uh, I'm havin' a barbecue this Saturday.

I'd love for you and the family to stop by.

Oh. Cool, man.

Here's the where and the when.

What's up with the new guy?

Oh, he's havin' a barbecue this Saturday.

He just invited me.

Oh, suckin' up to the veterans. I like his style.

Question is, will I be in the mood

to eat more Sauerkraut than 5 people should?

Magic 8-ball says...

- Jared, my man. What's up? - Hey. Not much, Doug.

That was, uh... That was weird.

So those, uh, tips I gave you on the flushing route--

They help you out, or...

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.

Ah! See what we got here in the old chips department.

Ooh!

Barbecue.

My magic 8-ball says... that was hard to watch.

Oh, good, honey, you're here.

Listen. For the new tiles in the bathroom--

Do you like the ash or the gray?

Hmm. I'm gonna say ash 'cause it sounds like a bad word.

Ash.

Thanks for the input, buddy.

All right. Um, I guess we'll just figure it out

on Saturday when we go to the tile place.

Whoa, whoa. We can't go on Saturday.

Why not?

'Cause Jared, the new driver, he's havin' a barbecue.

Oh, OK. What time is it?

- I don't know. - Where is it?

- I'm not sure. - When will you know?

Can't say.

What keeps me from cheating on you?

The thing is, he's invited almost everybody else but me.

It just-- I don't know. It doesn't make sense.

Oh. Well... maybe the guy just doesn't like you.

What?!

OK. Carrie, do you realize who I am at work?

I mean, people fight to sit next to me at the lunch table.

I mean, everybody thinks I'm--

And I'm a little bit embarrassed to say it--

Delightful.

OK.

You know what it is? I got it.

He's probably-- he's probably afraid to invite me

'cause he thinks I'm gonna say no.

That's, uh... yeah.

I'm like the pretty girl who doesn't get asked to the prom.

Wow. That's one rough high school.

Honey, come on. So one guy at work doesn't like you?

What's the big deal?

Because it bothers me, OK?

Believe me, I wish I could be more like you,

just let it roll off my back.

What do you mean?

Well, you know... nobody likes you at work,

and you don't care. It's... you know.

What? Everybody at work likes me.

- How-how 'bout Michelle? - Ah. Michelle's a bitch.

Javier? Marcy?

The guy in the wheelchair?

OK. You know what? Everybody at work likes me,

and you just lost your ash.

Ash.

Hi, guys.

Do you need somethin'?

Nope. Just sayin' hi.

Oh.

OK.

Hi.

Oh, and I finally... I saw that movie.

- Oh, it took you long enough. - Oh, I loved it!

It's hysterical, right?

Yes. Especially when they stole the car--

- Ha ha! - That was so funny!

What's up? Ha ha!

Oh, I... I better get back to work.

Uh, yeah, us, too.

Hi, Carrie. Oh, Lisa, thank god.

What's the matter?

Let me ask you a question.

Um... Around the office.

Am I, uh... Am I liked?

I like you a lot!

I know. I know you do. But, um... what about everybody else?

Oh. No, they don't.

Doug was right!

Well, it's not your fault. I mean, you're always so busy working,

you probably don't have time to be... nice.

You know what? If that's all people care about

around here, I can play the nice game.

There are a million things

I could do to show everybody how nice I am.

Huh!

Well, what can I do?

Um... w... well,

you could help me file these credit reports.

Oh, come on. Get serious. That's not gonna do it.

I need somethin'... somethin' flashy. You know what I mean?

Somethin' to get people talkin' around here.

What-what's that one's name over there?

The one with the frizzy hair and the earth shoes?

- Dawn. - Dawn. That's right.

I'm gonna ride her frumpy ass all the way to niceville.

Hey.

I think I figured out

why the new guy didn't invite me to his barbecue.

Great. Now I can sleep.

Remember last week at lunch when I said

anybody who likes sourdough bread is a douche?

No.

OK, what's the point of Doug's food roundup if no one listens?

Yeah, well, what about it?

When I said that, he gave me, like, a look. You know?

Maybe he likes sourdough bread. Maybe I offended the guy.

Uh-huh...

What?

Hello! Go ask him if he likes sourdough bread.

What?! I'm not gonna do that!

Come on! You owe me!

For what?

All right, I'll owe you. Just do it.

Oh, jeez.

Hey, um...

He's never had sourdough.

Dammit!

Well, it's gotta be something.

Hey, wait a second. Does he know I live locally?

Does he know I live locally?

No.

He thinks you fly in from your ranch to deliver packages.

I gotta figure this out.

You know what?

Just go over there and ask him if he likes me.

Just do it, man!

I'm too old for this crap.

Take me or leave me?

Take me or leave me?!

Can you believe he said that?!

Doug, these pizza rolls are incredible.

What's your secret?

Soak 'em in bacon grease. Where does a rookie driver

get off saying he can take me or leave me?

If anything, I should be takin' or leavin' him!

All right, can we please watch the game?

Hey. If you care that much...

I could bring you to the barbecue as my plus one.

Yeah. I'm invited.

And he's even boardin' his cat because of my allergies.

This-this is a nightmare, you know.

My kid got 18 stitches last month. Didn't whine as much as you.

You know what? I'm done. I don't care.

He doesn't want to invite me, that's his problem.

OK? Anyway, Carrie and I are gonna kick it

at the tile store on Saturday, so...

I don't need to go to his little party anyway.

We're not gonna have time.

- Well, good for you. - It is good for me. Bad for him. OK?

He's not gonna have this floatin' in his pool. Game over. I win.

Hey, me and Dawn are back from lunch.

What'd we miss?

Dawn, my god!

You look amazing!

Carrie took me for a complete makeover.

- Wow! I almost didn't recognize you. - Incredible!

Carrie, that is so nice of you.

Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is.

You know...

No one's ever done anything like this for me before.

Thank you, Carrie.

Ohhh... ohhh... Ohhh...

Precious angel.

OK.

All righty! Come on. No more tears.

That mascara's not waterproof,

and we still need to show you off to the guys in accounting.

OK?

Hey, man.

Oh, yeah. Hey.

I like your shirt.

Hey, you want half my sandwich?

No, I'm good. Thanks.

It's prosciutto. That's ham for rich people.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Right.

This guy's outta control!

Yeah!

Hi.

Make it fast, Heffernan. I'm tryin' to get outta here, huh?

Yeah. It'll just take a second.

It's about the, uh, new guy-- Robinson?

Oh, yeah. Uh, do you know if we're supposed to wear

a swimsuit to this barbecue thing?

'Cause... I always end up guessin' wrong.

Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Uh... see, I don't know if it's been brought

to your attention or not,

but not everybody's been invited,

and I think that's kinda bad for morale.

So, who didn't get invited?

As far as I know, just me and, uh... the recycling guy.

Oh, no, no. Teemu's goin'. He's my ride.

Heffernan, what's goin' on?

It's just... this whole thing's just drivin' me crazy.

I don't understand why the guy doesn't like me.

- I've tried everything. - Did you do the spoon trick?

Well, you know what helps when you're feelin' a little down?

Delivering packages.

I know, sir, but look.

Do you have any out-of-town runs comin' up at all?

Yeah. Why?

- Send me away with Jared. - What?

If I can get him alone for a few hours,

I know I can make it right between us.

Come on. Please?

I promise you I'll work the next 3 Saturdays.

Well, not this Saturday 'cause it's the barbecue.

All right.

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Let's see. Uh, I got some computer junk goin' to Pittsburgh.

Hmm. Not lovin' Pittsburgh.

All right. Well,

I got somethin' that's goin' up to a place on Lake George.

Oh, a lake.

Magic can happen.

Carrie... I found this on my desk.

Is it from you?

Did I hear somebody liked hydrangeas?

I think I did.

You are the best.

Ha ha. Right back at ya, honey.

Hey, Carr. Thanks for the salsa lessons.

Oh, de nada, baby.

Hey, Carrie.

Whoa! There she is. Hey, didn't I tell you

that outfit would look great on you?

You were right.

Thanks for everything.

Hey, where are those earrings I told you to buy?

Oh, actually, I don't have pierced ears.

I've always been kind of afraid of doing that.

Well, that's OK. At lunch, mama'll get you liquored up,

and pop, pop, we're done.

- I guess. - Mm-hmm.

Hey, Jared, I believe the lake is that way.

Actually, it might be this way.

Tom, we're coworkers.

Of course I'll take care of your owl while you're away.

OK. No problem. I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye-bye.

Oh, by the way, I'm gonna be home late tomorrow.

Why?

Oh, I got an upstate run with the new guy-Jared.

Ohhh.

You wanna look good for your boyfriend.

OK, he's not my boyfriend! OK?! Get that straight!

I'm so fat.

Listen, buddy, daddy wants to be at your play

more than anything in the world tonight,

but I can't. I gotta work.

Hey, now, come on. My big guy doesn't cry.

Right?

OK. I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Next exit-- Wetzel's pretzels.

I can't believe O'Boyle put me on this thing.

I told him my kid had a play tonight.

Yeah. He's a tool.

I'll tell you what this road trip needs

is some tune-age. Huh?

Nah. I-I kinda like the Bee Gees.

Oh. All right. No problem.

Where are you?

Where are you?!

It's no big deal.

No, no. You want Jive Talkin',

you're gettin' Jive Talkin', my friend.

It's not a problem.

It's over. I'm sorry.

It's OK.

Dammit.

Hi, Carrie.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey. What's goin' on there?

Huh? Oh, it's just that I was--

I was really late this morning,

and I just didn't have time

to, you know, do myself up.

Oh. See you had time to get yourself a bagel.

The thing is...

I really appreciate what you did,

but I realized it just didn't feel like myself.

Well, why didn't you say something?

I tried, but you kept...

Hugging me.

But thank you so much. It was very sweet of you.

No problem.

Actually, you know what, Dawn? I'm sorry. Uh...

This isn't gonna work for me.

Pardon?

You know, you goin' back to your old look.

It's kinda killin' the buzz around here. You know?

- I'm sorry. - Oh. That's OK.

Lunchtime, you go home... get yourself fixed up.

But for now, let's start with the hair.

Let--

No. Really. No. No, let me just get--

- Carrie, I'm fine. - OK, baby. You know what?

I'm givin' you a little somethin'-

could you please just stop?!

I told you it just wasn't me!

Ahem. Yeah, and I don't think

we should be married to the concept of you.

Look, I didn't like the makeover! OK?!

The shoes made my feet bleed. My hair was always in my eyes.

I told you I was more comfortable in a pony!

Yes. And a pony is not a hairstyle.

OK? It's a baby horse.

Oh, actually, a foal is a baby horse.

OK. You see, Poindexter?

Now, that's the attitude.

That's exactly why you haven't had a date in the last 5 years.

Little hug for-- Little lovin'. Little lovin'.

- Come on. Oh, dd, dd, dd-- - I don't want a little loving!

I just want you to leave me alone!

Yeah.

OK! Yeah, right!

Run off! Keep dressin' like that!

You're gonna die alone!

What're you all lookin' at?

- Huh? - What's up with you, Marcy?

You have a problem with your hydrangeas?

Didn't think so. That's right.

What's up with you, man?

Boy, if somebody doesn't start pedaling,

we're never gonna make it to the old bridge by sundown.

Yeah. Look, Doug, this has been a lot of fun,

but I really think we should be headin' back to the city, huh?

And get stuck in all that traffic?

Just relax. OK?

We're just... 2 teamsters out enjoyin' a nice paddle.

It doesn't get much better than this.

We're headin' back in. Come on.

- 5 more minutes, man. - No!

Come on. Just until we see a duck.

We saw a duck! What is your problem?!

What are you talkin' about?

I know what you said. OK? You can "take me or leave me"?

- What? - Yeah.

Don't play dumb, OK? Deacon told me.

Oh, all right, maybe I said somethin' like that.

I don't know.

You don't know. He doesn't know.

Do you believe this guy? He doesn't know.

OK, I'm outta here. Oh, this is just great.

I go to all the trouble to get O'Boyle

to put us on this job, and you're just "outta here"?

Wait. Hold on. You got me assigned to this?

You're the reason I'm missin' my kid's play?

Oh, please! That would've been torture, and you know it.

Look, how can you not like me?

Well, I'm finding it pretty easy right now, Doug.

All right, fine. Don't like me.

- What do I care? - Done. Thank you.

Will you-can you wait one second, please? Stop the paddling?

Look. Just let me save a little face here. OK?

Just... invite me to your barbecue,

and... I'll be out of your life forever. I promise.

No. We're going back in.

We're not going anywhere until you invite me.

Well, that's not happening!

- Oh, no? - No!

Hey, what are you doin', man?!

Be careful! You're gonna tip us over!

Oh, yeah? If I tip us over, I will panic,

and I'm gonna bring your ass

to the bottom of this lake like an anchor!

OK, stop it, man! Cut it out!

No! You invite me or die!

OK-OK! OK! You can come to my barbecue! OK!

Want me to bring anything, or...

Hey. Anything in the mail?

Uh, Sports Illustrated, credit card,

bill, and somethin' from the county.

Huh. It's an updated restraining order.

Huh. Yours or mine?

Mine.

It looks like I can now get within 30 feet of Dawn.

Show-off.