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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:56,493 --> 00:01:58,244 My name is Kathy H. 2 00:01:59,538 --> 00:02:01,414 I'm 28 years old. 3 00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,128 I've been a carer for nine years. 4 00:02:14,511 --> 00:02:16,470 And I'm good at my job. 5 00:02:17,306 --> 00:02:20,099 My patients always do better than expected 6 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,184 and are hardly ever classified as agitated, 7 00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:26,480 even if they're about to make a donation. 8 00:02:29,484 --> 00:02:31,444 I'm not trying to boast, 9 00:02:31,528 --> 00:02:34,655 but I feel a great sense of pride in what we do. 10 00:02:35,657 --> 00:02:38,367 Carers and donors have achieved so much. 11 00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:43,998 That said, we aren't machines. 12 00:02:47,544 --> 00:02:49,754 In the end, it wears you down. 13 00:02:51,548 --> 00:02:56,010 I suppose that's why I now spend most of my time not looking forwards 14 00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:58,262 but looking back, 15 00:02:58,347 --> 00:03:01,557 to The Cottages and Hailsham, 16 00:03:02,309 --> 00:03:04,060 and what happened to us there. 17 00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,979 Me, 18 00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:10,232 Tommy, 19 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:13,152 and Ruth. 20 00:03:22,204 --> 00:03:27,792 When we are scattered afar and asunder 21 00:03:27,876 --> 00:03:32,630 Parted are those who are singing today 22 00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:38,219 When we look back and forgetfully wonder 23 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:43,265 What we were like in our learning and play 24 00:03:43,892 --> 00:03:48,896 Oh, the great days will bring distance enchanted 25 00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:53,984 Days of fresh air in the rain and the sun 26 00:03:54,236 --> 00:03:59,281 How we rejoiced as we struggled and panted 27 00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:06,288 Echoes of dreamland, Hailsham lives on 28 00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:14,839 Good morning, students. 29 00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:17,800 Good morning, Miss Emily. 30 00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:23,055 It has come to my attention that three burned cigarettes were discovered, 31 00:04:23,432 --> 00:04:26,517 hidden behind a pot in the flower garden. 32 00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:30,980 I know that on occasion students have seen 33 00:04:31,064 --> 00:04:34,859 some of the caretakers and deliverymen smoking cigarettes, 34 00:04:34,943 --> 00:04:39,405 but I must emphasize, once again, that it is much, much worse 35 00:04:39,489 --> 00:04:42,992 for a student of Hailsham to smoke cigarettes than anyone else. 36 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:48,747 Students of Hailsham are special. 37 00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:54,837 Keeping yourselves well, keeping yourselves healthy inside, 38 00:04:54,921 --> 00:04:57,089 is of paramount importance. 39 00:04:57,424 --> 00:04:59,383 Have I made myself clear? 40 00:04:59,468 --> 00:05:01,594 Yes, Miss Emily. 41 00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:07,850 I think, one day, I'd like five horses. 42 00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:13,606 I don't know all their names, but I know I'd like five horses. 43 00:05:13,732 --> 00:05:15,441 The best would be Thunder. 44 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:18,694 He'd be dangerous to ride, so you can't ride him. 45 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,864 You can ride 46 00:05:22,824 --> 00:05:24,450 Bramble. 47 00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:28,287 Just so long as you don't use your crop on him. 48 00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,957 That's pretty. 49 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:33,459 You have it. 50 00:05:36,129 --> 00:05:39,048 Look. Who's that with Miss Emily? 51 00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:42,718 Do you think it's the new guardian? 52 00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:43,969 Miss Lucy. 53 00:05:45,514 --> 00:05:47,431 I think it must be. 54 00:05:47,516 --> 00:05:50,142 We haven't had a new guardian for ages. 55 00:06:02,573 --> 00:06:05,242 Arthur! Arthur! 56 00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:10,664 Catch it, Tommy. 57 00:06:33,396 --> 00:06:35,981 Why didn't Tommy get the ball? 58 00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:39,359 Excuse me, Miss Lucy? 59 00:06:39,777 --> 00:06:42,028 Why didn't Tommy get the ball? 60 00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:44,072 When it bounced over the fence, 61 00:06:44,156 --> 00:06:45,532 it couldn't have been far from him. 62 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,577 The fence is the boundary of the Hailsham grounds. 63 00:06:48,703 --> 00:06:51,371 We don't go outside the boundary, Miss Lucy. 64 00:06:51,622 --> 00:06:53,373 It's too dangerous. 65 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,292 Dangerous? 66 00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:58,003 There was once a boy who had a big row with all his friends 67 00:06:58,087 --> 00:07:00,463 and then ran off beyond the boundary. 68 00:07:00,548 --> 00:07:04,759 They found him, two days later, in the woods. Tied to a tree. 69 00:07:05,303 --> 00:07:06,886 With his hands and feet cut off. 70 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:08,930 Dead. 71 00:07:09,724 --> 00:07:11,683 And there was the girl who climbed over the fence, 72 00:07:11,767 --> 00:07:13,101 by the front gate. 73 00:07:13,185 --> 00:07:16,438 And when she tried to get back, she wasn't allowed. 74 00:07:16,731 --> 00:07:19,357 And then she starved. Out there. 75 00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:21,818 Right by the gates. 76 00:07:24,572 --> 00:07:25,739 Who told you these stories? 77 00:07:26,282 --> 00:07:28,325 Everybody knows them. 78 00:07:28,576 --> 00:07:30,243 And how do you know they're true? 79 00:07:30,578 --> 00:07:31,578 Of course they're true. 80 00:07:32,163 --> 00:07:34,956 Who'd make up stories as horrible as that? 81 00:08:01,692 --> 00:08:04,486 Tommy, what are you doing? 82 00:08:04,779 --> 00:08:06,905 What is it, exactly? 83 00:08:06,989 --> 00:08:09,783 I think it must be a dog. Is it a dog, Tommy? 84 00:08:10,159 --> 00:08:12,702 It can't be a dog. Its eyes are too small. 85 00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:15,288 I think it must be a kind of rat. 86 00:08:15,373 --> 00:08:17,165 Yes, that's it. Tommy's drawn a rat. 87 00:08:17,249 --> 00:08:18,333 It's not finished yet. 88 00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:20,418 That's right. You haven't finished the whiskers. 89 00:08:20,503 --> 00:08:22,462 Do you think Tommy's rat will be selected for The Gallery? 90 00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:24,089 It's not a rat. 91 00:08:26,842 --> 00:08:28,468 It's an elephant. 92 00:08:28,594 --> 00:08:30,470 Children, back to work. 93 00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:03,712 He's got his shirt on. His favorite polo shirt. 94 00:09:04,964 --> 00:09:07,340 He really doesn't suspect a thing. 95 00:09:09,343 --> 00:09:11,636 Looks like no one wants you, Tommy. 96 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:24,774 What's he doing? 97 00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:26,276 It's his own fault. 98 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,821 If he learnt to keep his cool, they'd leave him alone. 99 00:09:29,989 --> 00:09:31,948 I hate you! I hate you all! 100 00:09:32,032 --> 00:09:33,241 Kath... No, don't! 101 00:09:44,378 --> 00:09:46,171 You shouldn't have... 102 00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:10,236 Kathy H. 103 00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:25,084 What's this from? 104 00:10:25,753 --> 00:10:27,420 I don't remember. 105 00:10:27,588 --> 00:10:29,464 Doctor? 106 00:10:36,764 --> 00:10:38,932 It's nothing. Just a bruise. 107 00:10:45,523 --> 00:10:47,232 Hello. 108 00:10:47,733 --> 00:10:49,776 Kathy. Kathy H. 109 00:10:50,528 --> 00:10:52,946 Of course. Kathy H. 110 00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:55,156 Come in. 111 00:11:01,163 --> 00:11:02,705 So what can I do for you? 112 00:11:04,124 --> 00:11:05,583 Well, 113 00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:09,462 I was wondering what you said to Tommy. 114 00:11:10,589 --> 00:11:12,590 Out on the playing fields. 115 00:11:12,675 --> 00:11:14,676 I see. Oh. 116 00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:17,262 So what did I say? 117 00:11:19,807 --> 00:11:22,183 I believe I was trying to calm him down. 118 00:11:22,268 --> 00:11:24,143 Because he seemed upset. 119 00:11:24,645 --> 00:11:28,231 He explained he was often teased about sport and art, 120 00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:31,651 so I told him he shouldn't get upset about these things. 121 00:11:32,069 --> 00:11:35,697 The other children are only teasing him to get a reaction. 122 00:11:37,783 --> 00:11:40,493 And if it happens that he's not particularly good at sport or art, 123 00:11:40,578 --> 00:11:42,620 well, that doesn't matter. 124 00:11:43,414 --> 00:11:45,290 It's not so important. 125 00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:52,505 Thank you. 126 00:12:15,237 --> 00:12:16,696 Kathy. 127 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,117 Aren't you sitting with the girls? 128 00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:22,201 Well, I just checked 129 00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:24,913 and I'm pretty sure I'm not sitting with the girls. 130 00:12:24,997 --> 00:12:26,247 I'm sitting with you. 131 00:12:28,542 --> 00:12:30,084 I wanted to say 132 00:12:32,338 --> 00:12:34,005 I'm sorry. 133 00:12:35,382 --> 00:12:37,383 I didn't mean to hit you. 134 00:12:38,552 --> 00:12:42,138 I mean, I wouldn't want to hit any girl. 135 00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:46,601 But particularly not you. 136 00:12:48,062 --> 00:12:50,855 Well, it was an accident, that's all. 137 00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:55,652 Tommy, finish those vegetables. 138 00:13:13,087 --> 00:13:15,505 I'm not gonna get angry like that anymore. 139 00:13:15,589 --> 00:13:19,384 Because of what Miss Lucy told you, about being creative? 140 00:13:19,468 --> 00:13:21,052 How do you know about that? 141 00:13:21,136 --> 00:13:22,178 I'm nosey. 142 00:13:25,599 --> 00:13:29,811 She can't actually mean that being creative isn't important, can she? 143 00:13:29,979 --> 00:13:32,188 I mean, what about The Gallery? 144 00:13:32,272 --> 00:13:34,273 If being creative isn't important, 145 00:13:34,358 --> 00:13:36,359 then why have a gallery at all? 146 00:13:39,154 --> 00:13:40,613 I don't know. 147 00:13:45,619 --> 00:13:49,123 ...by arching her back, or perhaps with the aid of a pillow, 148 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:52,042 the woman can arrange herself... 149 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,227 Smile 150 00:14:24,409 --> 00:14:25,826 Good morning, ma'am. 151 00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,077 Good morning. 152 00:14:27,162 --> 00:14:28,662 Can I help you? 153 00:14:28,747 --> 00:14:31,665 I wanted one tea, with milk and sugar in it. 154 00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:34,960 One tea. Right. 155 00:14:41,468 --> 00:14:43,010 Tommy. 156 00:14:43,094 --> 00:14:45,679 Oh! One tea with milk and sugar in it, please. 157 00:14:46,014 --> 00:14:48,015 No, Tommy. 158 00:14:50,602 --> 00:14:52,811 I want to hear your own order. 159 00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,563 Don't simply repeat the one you've just heard. 160 00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:58,192 What other drinks do they serve in cafes? 161 00:14:58,276 --> 00:14:59,610 Water. 162 00:15:02,781 --> 00:15:03,781 Coffee. 163 00:15:03,865 --> 00:15:04,865 Coffee. 164 00:15:06,743 --> 00:15:08,035 So, then. 165 00:15:08,912 --> 00:15:10,204 So, then, 166 00:15:11,372 --> 00:15:14,041 one coffee, please, with milk and sugar in it. 167 00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:21,256 Thank you. 168 00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:32,226 I think Laura likes Arthur. 169 00:15:33,061 --> 00:15:35,687 All the girls like Arthur, don't they? 170 00:15:36,564 --> 00:15:38,065 Maybe. 171 00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:40,984 I'm not sure you do. 172 00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:44,488 He's not my type. 173 00:15:44,572 --> 00:15:47,825 I think Laura and Arthur will be the first in our year to have sex 174 00:15:47,909 --> 00:15:51,370 because, if Arthur wants to, Laura wouldn't stop him. 175 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,248 I'm sure you're right. 176 00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:00,045 Tommy's changed. 177 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,464 Changed how? 178 00:16:03,758 --> 00:16:05,259 Just changed. 179 00:16:06,427 --> 00:16:07,803 That's all. 180 00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:40,794 What about this one by Madeleine Kane? 181 00:16:41,171 --> 00:16:44,464 I think it shows more than technical ability. 182 00:16:44,632 --> 00:16:47,176 It gives a real insight into the child. 183 00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:50,345 Which is precisely what Marie-Claude wants for The Gallery. 184 00:16:50,430 --> 00:16:52,222 Yes, I agree. 185 00:16:55,977 --> 00:16:57,060 Mmm. 186 00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:59,479 Put these two together. 187 00:17:00,565 --> 00:17:02,191 Madame is coming. 188 00:17:52,825 --> 00:17:54,534 Good morning, students. 189 00:17:54,661 --> 00:17:57,663 Good morning, Miss Emily. 190 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,750 There are several points of order today. 191 00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:05,587 The first is that our good friend, Madame Marie-Claude, is visiting us. 192 00:18:05,755 --> 00:18:09,967 She will, as usual, be carefully inspecting your artwork and poetry 193 00:18:10,134 --> 00:18:14,096 and selecting the very best pieces for inclusion in her Gallery. 194 00:18:14,514 --> 00:18:16,974 We will, of course, extend to her every courtesy 195 00:18:17,058 --> 00:18:19,726 and make her feel most welcome. 196 00:18:20,061 --> 00:18:23,647 Second point of order, a piece of good news for all students 197 00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:26,608 who have been diligent in collecting tokens. 198 00:18:26,985 --> 00:18:29,820 After studies tomorrow, there will be a sale. 199 00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:33,407 The delivery will arrive in the morning, 200 00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:35,867 and I was assured by the van driver 201 00:18:35,952 --> 00:18:39,204 that the boxes will contain a bumper crop. 202 00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:31,089 Is it really a bumper crop? 203 00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:35,886 I should say so. Yeah, sweetheart. It's a bumper crop. 204 00:20:40,701 --> 00:20:42,077 Hey. 205 00:20:43,287 --> 00:20:44,955 Aren't you buying? 206 00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:48,792 If you've already spent all your tokens, you can have some of mine. 207 00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:52,629 I have tokens. I was just gonna wait till the rush died down. 208 00:20:52,713 --> 00:20:55,465 I'm sure there'll be something good left. 209 00:20:56,592 --> 00:20:58,552 What's the matter, Kath? 210 00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:03,932 Well, anyway, it doesn't matter 211 00:21:04,016 --> 00:21:06,560 if you can't find anything in the sale 212 00:21:06,644 --> 00:21:10,272 because I already found you something. 213 00:21:12,984 --> 00:21:14,443 A music tape. 214 00:21:14,527 --> 00:21:18,155 I don't know much about it, if it's much good or anything. 215 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:23,827 Thank you. 216 00:21:29,584 --> 00:21:31,585 * Darling * 217 00:21:34,422 --> 00:21:45,266 * Hold me * 218 00:21:45,350 --> 00:21:46,934 * And never * 219 00:21:47,978 --> 00:21:51,772 * Never * 220 00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:56,068 * Let me go * 221 00:22:05,412 --> 00:22:07,663 * Darling * 222 00:22:09,791 --> 00:22:21,052 * Kiss me * 223 00:22:21,136 --> 00:22:23,012 * And never * 224 00:22:23,514 --> 00:22:27,642 * Never * 225 00:22:28,101 --> 00:22:32,813 * Let me go * 226 00:23:03,929 --> 00:23:05,763 The problem is 227 00:23:06,890 --> 00:23:10,142 you've been told and not told. 228 00:23:10,978 --> 00:23:13,479 That's what I've seen while I've been here. 229 00:23:14,815 --> 00:23:16,732 You've been told 230 00:23:17,025 --> 00:23:19,652 but none of you really understand. 231 00:23:20,654 --> 00:23:24,782 So I've decided I'll talk to you in a way that you will understand. 232 00:23:28,453 --> 00:23:30,746 Do you know what happens to children when they grow up? 233 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:37,211 No, you don't, because nobody knows. 234 00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:42,091 They might grow up to become actors, 235 00:23:43,093 --> 00:23:45,052 move to America. 236 00:23:46,805 --> 00:23:49,307 Or they might work in supermarkets. 237 00:23:49,975 --> 00:23:51,726 Or teach in schools. 238 00:23:52,811 --> 00:23:57,648 They might become sportsmen or bus conductors or racing car drivers. 239 00:23:57,899 --> 00:24:00,318 They might do almost anything. 240 00:24:02,654 --> 00:24:04,614 But with you we do know. 241 00:24:07,743 --> 00:24:10,036 None of you will go to America. 242 00:24:11,830 --> 00:24:14,790 None of you will work in supermarkets. 243 00:24:17,044 --> 00:24:19,337 None of you will do anything except live the life 244 00:24:19,421 --> 00:24:21,631 that has already been set out for you. 245 00:24:24,259 --> 00:24:26,344 You will become adults, 246 00:24:28,096 --> 00:24:29,764 but only briefly. 247 00:24:33,226 --> 00:24:34,935 Before you are old, 248 00:24:36,521 --> 00:24:38,856 before you are even middle-aged, 249 00:24:39,274 --> 00:24:42,610 you will start to donate your vital organs. 250 00:24:45,113 --> 00:24:47,615 That's what you were created to do. 251 00:24:50,118 --> 00:24:54,622 And sometime around your third or fourth donation, 252 00:24:55,707 --> 00:24:58,459 your short life will be complete. 253 00:25:00,212 --> 00:25:04,548 You have to know who you are and what you are. 254 00:25:05,509 --> 00:25:08,678 It's the only way you'll lead decent lives. 255 00:25:59,938 --> 00:26:03,107 There will be only one announcement this morning, 256 00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:05,901 which is that Miss Lucy, 257 00:26:05,986 --> 00:26:08,404 who was guardian to the fourth-year students, 258 00:26:08,780 --> 00:26:11,157 is no longer working at Hailsham. 259 00:26:15,078 --> 00:26:17,955 A replacement will be found for her, and in the meantime 260 00:26:18,039 --> 00:26:22,042 her classes will be divided between Miss Geraldine and myself. 261 00:26:24,171 --> 00:26:26,714 It is hard, is it not, 262 00:26:27,257 --> 00:26:31,260 to continue in the face of deliberate subversion. 263 00:26:33,054 --> 00:26:37,057 There are those who seek to thwart us, this is clear. 264 00:26:37,476 --> 00:26:41,145 And we are aware that the tide is not with forward thinking. 265 00:26:41,229 --> 00:26:42,563 It never is. 266 00:26:43,732 --> 00:26:47,485 No, the tide is with the entrenched mindset. 267 00:26:47,569 --> 00:26:50,196 With values that are still unexamined. 268 00:26:52,949 --> 00:26:55,326 But I will not be coerced. 269 00:27:00,248 --> 00:27:02,416 I will not be coerced. 270 00:27:05,378 --> 00:27:07,755 And neither will Hailsham. 271 00:28:12,279 --> 00:28:16,824 I didn't understand why, after all her teasing, 272 00:28:17,826 --> 00:28:22,037 Ruth would decide that Tommy was the boy she liked most of all. 273 00:28:30,922 --> 00:28:34,300 They say girls are always mean to the boys they like. 274 00:28:38,013 --> 00:28:40,681 So maybe Ruth had liked him all along. 275 00:28:45,687 --> 00:28:48,564 Maybe I should have teased him, too. 276 00:29:02,787 --> 00:29:05,205 I kept hoping they would separate, 277 00:29:05,415 --> 00:29:09,168 like the other childhood and teenage romances at the school. 278 00:29:15,133 --> 00:29:16,675 They never did. 279 00:29:51,087 --> 00:29:53,838 We were moved from Hailsham at 18 280 00:29:53,923 --> 00:29:56,341 and sent to various accommodations around the country, 281 00:29:56,425 --> 00:29:59,678 to wait until we were old enough to start the donations. 282 00:30:02,515 --> 00:30:04,307 Tommy, Ruth and I 283 00:30:04,392 --> 00:30:08,353 were sent to a collection of farm buildings called The Cottages. 284 00:30:14,193 --> 00:30:15,860 During our stay there, we were told 285 00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:19,572 that some of us would be permitted to volunteer as carers. 286 00:30:21,826 --> 00:30:25,954 But, apart from that, we'd be left largely to our own devices 287 00:30:26,038 --> 00:30:30,250 and even allowed to take day trips into the surrounding countryside. 288 00:30:35,297 --> 00:30:37,215 The Cottages were also our first contact 289 00:30:37,299 --> 00:30:40,218 with those who had not grown up at Hailsham. 290 00:30:40,469 --> 00:30:42,470 There were people from White Mansion, 291 00:30:42,972 --> 00:30:47,517 Oakhill, Morningdale and other homes I'd never heard of. 292 00:30:50,438 --> 00:30:54,149 Everyone seemed wiser and more worldly than us. 293 00:30:56,694 --> 00:30:59,654 None more so than Rodney and Chrissie. 294 00:30:59,739 --> 00:31:02,449 They'd already been at The Cottages for over a year 295 00:31:02,533 --> 00:31:05,744 and would soon be leaving for the completion centers. 296 00:31:05,828 --> 00:31:08,580 Ricky? I don't know what you're talking about. 297 00:31:08,664 --> 00:31:10,540 Oh, I can help you out there. 298 00:31:10,624 --> 00:31:14,544 He's talking about blue eyes, blond hair, cute dimples when he smiles. 299 00:31:14,628 --> 00:31:17,338 And biceps that could crack walnuts. 300 00:31:19,925 --> 00:31:21,843 Jennifer, get real, I saw you with him. 301 00:31:21,927 --> 00:31:25,513 Jen and Ricky sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. 302 00:31:26,348 --> 00:31:28,892 That is so not true. 303 00:31:31,187 --> 00:31:32,687 We weren't in a tree. 304 00:31:50,456 --> 00:31:51,873 Hey. 305 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,712 Where you going? 306 00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,507 I thought I'd go for a walk. 307 00:32:00,883 --> 00:32:04,886 Does that mean you want to be alone? 308 00:32:36,043 --> 00:32:38,044 I'm not even saying that I'll apply to be a carer. 309 00:32:38,129 --> 00:32:40,380 Just that several people have said that I'd be good at it. 310 00:32:40,714 --> 00:32:42,590 But then Laura went around telling everyone 311 00:32:42,675 --> 00:32:45,176 that I'd been saying I was the most likely to get selected. 312 00:32:45,261 --> 00:32:46,344 That's so not true. 313 00:32:46,428 --> 00:32:47,887 So not true. 314 00:32:48,264 --> 00:32:49,848 Thank you. 315 00:32:52,810 --> 00:32:54,769 I'm getting more plates. 316 00:32:56,438 --> 00:32:58,273 Is there anything left for us? 317 00:32:58,399 --> 00:33:00,400 I don't know. 318 00:33:02,778 --> 00:33:04,154 Perhaps not. 319 00:33:05,614 --> 00:33:07,866 Ruth, why do you do that thing? 320 00:33:08,617 --> 00:33:09,993 Squeezing Tommy's shoulder. 321 00:33:12,329 --> 00:33:13,955 I'm allowed to touch Tommy, aren't I? 322 00:33:14,039 --> 00:33:16,291 It's the way you're touching him. 323 00:33:16,375 --> 00:33:18,793 You know what I mean. It's copied from that television show. 324 00:33:19,962 --> 00:33:20,962 That's so not... 325 00:33:21,046 --> 00:33:23,590 Don't tell me "that's so not true." 326 00:33:25,593 --> 00:33:28,553 All that behavior, that's not what people do out there, in real life, 327 00:33:28,637 --> 00:33:29,888 if that's what you were thinking. 328 00:33:29,972 --> 00:33:33,057 So what? Look, it's no big deal. A lot of us do it. 329 00:33:33,142 --> 00:33:35,226 What you mean is Chrissie and Rod do it. 330 00:33:36,312 --> 00:33:38,146 Oh, Kathy. 331 00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,109 So that's what this is about. 332 00:33:44,069 --> 00:33:45,153 It must be really awful for you, 333 00:33:45,237 --> 00:33:46,696 surrounded by all these couples. 334 00:33:47,281 --> 00:33:51,075 I never said that. I just think it's daft. 335 00:33:51,785 --> 00:33:54,370 You copy them, and they copy from a television show. 336 00:33:54,455 --> 00:33:56,539 I'm right, aren't I? 337 00:33:57,499 --> 00:34:01,878 You don't like the fact that Tommy and I are friends with Chrissie and Rod, 338 00:34:01,962 --> 00:34:03,838 whereas you hardly speak to anyone. 339 00:34:06,842 --> 00:34:09,844 No. You're not right. 340 00:34:11,055 --> 00:34:12,931 "So" not right? 341 00:34:32,368 --> 00:34:34,202 Thank you, Mr. Keffers. 342 00:35:40,769 --> 00:35:42,270 Hello, Tommy. 343 00:35:43,105 --> 00:35:44,856 Hello, Kath. 344 00:35:48,319 --> 00:35:52,447 Well, don't just hover in the doorway. Come in. Join the fun. 345 00:35:54,074 --> 00:35:56,784 Didn't know you liked that sort of stuff. 346 00:35:58,078 --> 00:35:59,829 You're very welcome to them after I've finished. 347 00:36:00,289 --> 00:36:02,415 Oh, no, it's just sex stuff. 348 00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:05,793 I expect I've seen them all already anyway. 349 00:36:10,799 --> 00:36:12,216 Kathy, what are you looking for? 350 00:36:12,968 --> 00:36:16,304 What do you mean? I'm just looking at dirty pictures. 351 00:36:17,639 --> 00:36:18,723 What, just for kicks? 352 00:36:18,807 --> 00:36:21,267 I suppose you could say that, yes. 353 00:36:27,149 --> 00:36:30,610 If it's just for kicks, then you don't do it like that. 354 00:36:31,820 --> 00:36:34,447 You need to look at each picture more carefully. 355 00:36:34,656 --> 00:36:36,991 Nothing really happens if you go that fast. 356 00:36:37,284 --> 00:36:39,619 How do you know what works for girls? 357 00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:44,332 Kath, you're not looking for kicks. 358 00:36:48,295 --> 00:36:52,090 Here, give it to Ruth. See if it does anything for her. 359 00:37:06,855 --> 00:37:11,859 Hi. 360 00:37:14,279 --> 00:37:16,656 I suppose you've heard what Rod and Chrissie have been saying. 361 00:37:17,699 --> 00:37:19,200 No, I haven't. 362 00:37:24,373 --> 00:37:26,416 Well, you know that Rod and Chrissie 363 00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:27,960 have been thinking of applying to be carers, 364 00:37:28,044 --> 00:37:29,044 so they've been learning how to drive. 365 00:37:29,129 --> 00:37:30,129 Yeah. 366 00:37:30,213 --> 00:37:34,883 Well, last weekend, they went up to a town on the Norfolk coast, 367 00:37:35,677 --> 00:37:38,387 and they think they saw this person. 368 00:37:38,555 --> 00:37:39,972 What kind of person? 369 00:37:41,141 --> 00:37:42,683 A lady 370 00:37:43,852 --> 00:37:45,310 working in an office. 371 00:37:45,854 --> 00:37:47,020 And... 372 00:37:48,773 --> 00:37:50,399 What is it, Ruth? 373 00:37:52,235 --> 00:37:55,154 But they thought this person was a Possible. 374 00:37:57,532 --> 00:37:59,283 For me. 375 00:37:59,993 --> 00:38:01,326 They found your Original? 376 00:38:01,411 --> 00:38:03,745 They aren't sure, obviously, 377 00:38:03,830 --> 00:38:06,832 but Rodney said that the resemblance was really striking. 378 00:38:06,916 --> 00:38:09,209 Oh, my God. Ruth! I know. 379 00:38:10,462 --> 00:38:14,131 They want to drive me back up there so that I can see for myself. 380 00:38:14,257 --> 00:38:16,508 Tommy will come, but... 381 00:38:16,843 --> 00:38:18,260 Do you want me to come? 382 00:38:21,764 --> 00:38:23,724 Ruth, of course. 383 00:38:33,943 --> 00:38:38,030 So, exactly how much experience have you guys had with the outside? 384 00:38:38,907 --> 00:38:39,948 Quite a lot. 385 00:38:40,033 --> 00:38:41,450 No, we haven't. 386 00:38:43,119 --> 00:38:46,205 We did a lot of role-playing exercises at Hailsham. 387 00:38:46,289 --> 00:38:47,956 They don't count. 388 00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:51,585 Okay. Well, don't feel scared. 389 00:38:51,711 --> 00:38:54,713 Okay? There's really... There's nothing to it. 390 00:38:56,508 --> 00:38:58,133 We aren't scared. 391 00:38:58,968 --> 00:39:00,427 Good. 392 00:39:23,618 --> 00:39:25,077 I'll get sausage, egg and chips. 393 00:39:29,624 --> 00:39:30,749 Sausage, egg and chips, please. 394 00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:31,917 Yes, sausage, egg and chips. 395 00:39:32,001 --> 00:39:34,044 Sausage, egg and chips, me, too, please. 396 00:39:35,213 --> 00:39:38,382 Well, I suppose I'd better get sausage, egg and chips, too, then. 397 00:39:38,466 --> 00:39:42,594 Five sausage, egg and chips. Drinks? 398 00:39:45,348 --> 00:39:46,848 Five Cokes, please. 399 00:40:01,364 --> 00:40:03,657 It was good. It was really good. 400 00:40:05,201 --> 00:40:06,410 What? Sorry. 401 00:40:11,165 --> 00:40:15,502 You know, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you lot about. 402 00:40:16,838 --> 00:40:19,131 The problem is that back there at The Cottages it's impossible. 403 00:40:19,215 --> 00:40:21,550 Someone's always listening in. 404 00:40:22,885 --> 00:40:24,303 So, 405 00:40:27,015 --> 00:40:29,308 someone was saying that some Hailsham students in the past 406 00:40:29,392 --> 00:40:32,060 have managed to get a deferral. 407 00:40:32,228 --> 00:40:33,729 Apparently those Hailsham students 408 00:40:33,813 --> 00:40:36,898 could have their first donation put back by three 409 00:40:37,609 --> 00:40:40,027 or even four years. 410 00:40:43,406 --> 00:40:45,407 As long as they qualified. 411 00:40:46,326 --> 00:40:48,535 If there was a boy and a girl, 412 00:40:48,953 --> 00:40:50,954 and they were in love with each other, 413 00:40:51,039 --> 00:40:54,875 really properly in love, and they could prove it, 414 00:40:55,543 --> 00:40:58,462 then they would be given a few years together 415 00:40:58,671 --> 00:41:01,089 before they began their donations. 416 00:41:04,260 --> 00:41:06,511 Where did you hear about this? 417 00:41:07,388 --> 00:41:08,764 When we were at White Mansion. 418 00:41:08,890 --> 00:41:11,058 People there were always going on about this Hailsham couple. 419 00:41:11,726 --> 00:41:13,310 When the guy was only a few weeks from donation, 420 00:41:13,394 --> 00:41:16,897 he just went to see someone. He applied, and everything got sorted out. 421 00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:21,401 I suppose you lot would know about that sort of thing. 422 00:41:21,486 --> 00:41:25,280 Being from Hailsham, you'd know how that sort of thing works. 423 00:41:25,865 --> 00:41:28,283 Who is it you go to? 424 00:41:29,285 --> 00:41:32,788 Who would we talk to if we wanted to apply? 425 00:41:41,214 --> 00:41:43,090 To be honest, I don't know what you're talking about. 426 00:41:44,926 --> 00:41:46,635 Come on. 427 00:41:48,304 --> 00:41:49,638 Do you expect us to believe that? 428 00:41:49,722 --> 00:41:52,557 Everybody knows Hailsham is special. 429 00:41:53,142 --> 00:41:54,810 So what is it? 430 00:41:56,104 --> 00:41:58,689 Why keep these things to yourself? 431 00:42:05,154 --> 00:42:07,823 There were lots of stories at Hailsham. 432 00:42:08,783 --> 00:42:12,285 I don't think many of them turned out to be true. 433 00:42:39,021 --> 00:42:40,939 It may be down here. 434 00:42:51,033 --> 00:42:52,409 Yeah. 435 00:42:52,869 --> 00:42:54,202 That's it. 436 00:43:20,646 --> 00:43:22,397 God, it must be her. 437 00:43:23,232 --> 00:43:25,692 Yeah, that's her. 438 00:43:52,053 --> 00:43:53,678 It's not her. 439 00:43:55,306 --> 00:43:57,307 I'm not her. No, you're not. 440 00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,017 It was really close, though. 441 00:43:59,101 --> 00:44:01,686 Oh, shut up, Tommy! It wasn't close. It wasn't close at all. 442 00:44:01,771 --> 00:44:05,106 And I knew it wasn't gonna be her before we even got here! 443 00:44:05,608 --> 00:44:07,317 It was never gonna be her. 444 00:44:07,443 --> 00:44:10,487 They never, ever model us on people like that woman. 445 00:44:10,571 --> 00:44:12,197 Ruth, don't. What? 446 00:44:12,824 --> 00:44:14,950 We all know it, we just never say it. 447 00:44:16,244 --> 00:44:18,537 We are modeled on trash. 448 00:44:18,663 --> 00:44:22,624 Junkies, prostitutes, winos, tramps. 449 00:44:23,251 --> 00:44:26,336 Convicts, maybe, as long as they aren't psychos. 450 00:44:27,463 --> 00:44:31,466 If you want to look for Possibles, if you want to do it properly, 451 00:44:33,636 --> 00:44:34,845 look in the gutter. 452 00:44:36,764 --> 00:44:38,765 That's where we came from. 453 00:45:06,335 --> 00:45:10,714 Hey. 454 00:45:42,205 --> 00:45:44,206 We should go back. 455 00:47:07,124 --> 00:47:09,750 Don't tell me to calm down! 456 00:47:10,711 --> 00:47:13,045 You walked down the pier and you left me there. 457 00:47:13,130 --> 00:47:14,797 You knew I was well upset. 458 00:47:27,644 --> 00:47:28,644 Out here. 459 00:47:43,785 --> 00:47:48,247 Chrissie and Rod are pretty obsessed about this rumor, aren't they? 460 00:47:48,331 --> 00:47:50,291 About the deferrals? Mmm. 461 00:47:52,461 --> 00:47:55,504 I was thinking about it again last night, 462 00:47:56,006 --> 00:47:57,965 and if this rumor's true 463 00:47:59,176 --> 00:48:01,427 it might explain a few things. 464 00:48:01,803 --> 00:48:03,262 Such as? Well, 465 00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:06,265 The Gallery, for instance. 466 00:48:06,349 --> 00:48:10,061 We never got to the bottom of it, what The Gallery was for. 467 00:48:10,437 --> 00:48:12,605 Pictures, poetry and sculpture. 468 00:48:12,689 --> 00:48:14,231 Say something about yourself. 469 00:48:14,399 --> 00:48:16,567 That's the whole point about art, isn't it? 470 00:48:16,651 --> 00:48:19,904 It says what's inside of you. It reveals your soul. 471 00:48:20,363 --> 00:48:21,947 Yeah. So? 472 00:48:31,792 --> 00:48:35,878 Suppose for a second that the rumor is true. 473 00:48:36,046 --> 00:48:39,173 That there is a special arrangement for Hailsham students, 474 00:48:39,257 --> 00:48:40,800 if they're in love. 475 00:48:41,802 --> 00:48:45,054 Well, there would have to be some kind of way 476 00:48:45,388 --> 00:48:49,391 to decide if couples are telling the truth 477 00:48:49,810 --> 00:48:52,478 and not just lying to put off their donations. 478 00:49:00,487 --> 00:49:02,988 That's what The Gallery could be for. 479 00:49:03,865 --> 00:49:06,242 In The Gallery they have everything about us they need to know. 480 00:49:06,326 --> 00:49:08,661 So if we say that we're in love, 481 00:49:10,455 --> 00:49:12,790 they can look into our souls and they can see. 482 00:49:12,874 --> 00:49:15,584 They'll know if it's real love or if it's just a lie. 483 00:49:16,753 --> 00:49:18,796 That's a strange idea, Tommy. 484 00:49:20,382 --> 00:49:21,465 What? 485 00:49:23,635 --> 00:49:26,637 No, no. I don't think that's any stranger than any other idea. 486 00:49:26,721 --> 00:49:30,141 And didn't Miss Lucy say that making art for The Gallery wasn't even important? 487 00:49:30,225 --> 00:49:31,600 Yes. 488 00:49:33,395 --> 00:49:35,604 But look what happened to her. 489 00:49:46,449 --> 00:49:48,659 Are you thinking of applying? 490 00:49:49,452 --> 00:49:50,953 With Ruth? 491 00:49:54,332 --> 00:49:55,374 No. 492 00:49:56,668 --> 00:49:57,877 It wouldn't work. 493 00:49:59,796 --> 00:50:01,213 Why? 494 00:50:08,597 --> 00:50:10,139 Because 495 00:50:18,315 --> 00:50:19,815 you forget that 496 00:50:20,984 --> 00:50:23,569 you got lots of stuff into The Gallery over the years, 497 00:50:23,653 --> 00:50:27,114 and if I applied they wouldn't have anything to go on. 498 00:50:41,546 --> 00:50:43,714 It's all just rumors and theories. 499 00:50:48,094 --> 00:50:49,553 Yeah, I know. 500 00:50:52,807 --> 00:50:54,308 Tommy. 501 00:51:43,066 --> 00:51:54,618 * Kiss me * 502 00:51:54,703 --> 00:51:57,162 * And never * 503 00:51:57,247 --> 00:52:01,709 * Never * 504 00:52:01,793 --> 00:52:05,587 * Let me go * 505 00:52:14,097 --> 00:52:16,265 * Lock my heart * 506 00:52:18,727 --> 00:52:22,187 * Throw away the key * 507 00:52:23,231 --> 00:52:26,066 * Feel my love * 508 00:52:44,961 --> 00:52:47,463 I know what you think, Kathy. 509 00:52:50,717 --> 00:52:54,720 I know you think that you and Tommy would have made a more natural couple, 510 00:52:55,472 --> 00:52:56,972 and you believe 511 00:52:57,057 --> 00:53:00,517 that there's a chance that Tommy and I will split up some day. 512 00:53:01,978 --> 00:53:05,689 And when we do, perhaps that will be your chance with Tommy. 513 00:53:06,649 --> 00:53:08,984 Chance to do it right this time. 514 00:53:16,369 --> 00:53:19,037 But you see, the thing is, Kathy, 515 00:53:19,580 --> 00:53:22,999 although Tommy really likes you as a friend, 516 00:53:24,126 --> 00:53:26,836 he just doesn't see you that way. 517 00:53:31,008 --> 00:53:34,094 He told me about the porno magazines. 518 00:53:36,889 --> 00:53:39,140 We had quite a laugh about it. 519 00:53:42,103 --> 00:53:45,897 He doesn't understand what you were doing. 520 00:53:47,983 --> 00:53:49,651 But I did. 521 00:53:53,364 --> 00:53:54,364 Oh! 522 00:54:14,218 --> 00:54:17,262 I said I'll just be five minutes. 523 00:54:22,435 --> 00:54:24,227 I want to be a carer. 524 00:54:26,272 --> 00:54:27,647 It's you who I apply to, isn't it? 525 00:54:27,731 --> 00:54:29,065 Yeah. 526 00:54:29,191 --> 00:54:31,192 I said that I'm applying. 527 00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,572 I'll bring the forms tomorrow, 528 00:54:35,656 --> 00:54:37,740 and that'll start the process. 529 00:54:49,086 --> 00:54:52,255 By the time Ruth and Tommy actually did separate, 530 00:54:52,339 --> 00:54:54,466 my carer training had already begun. 531 00:54:56,677 --> 00:54:59,262 So I was hardly ever at The Cottages. 532 00:55:24,538 --> 00:55:27,707 It had never occurred to me that our lives, 533 00:55:28,209 --> 00:55:30,627 which had been so closely interwoven, 534 00:55:33,547 --> 00:55:36,132 could unravel with such speed. 535 00:55:50,898 --> 00:55:52,357 If I'd known, 536 00:55:53,317 --> 00:55:55,652 maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them 537 00:55:58,113 --> 00:56:01,324 and not let unseen tides pull us apart. 538 00:56:46,787 --> 00:56:48,454 Once I began working with my donors, 539 00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:51,708 I didn't have much time to dwell on Tommy or Ruth. 540 00:56:52,710 --> 00:56:54,419 Eventually, so many years had passed 541 00:56:54,503 --> 00:56:57,255 I came to think I would never see them again. 542 00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:08,099 Many carers find themselves just going through the motions, 543 00:57:08,225 --> 00:57:12,395 waiting for the day that they can stop and become donors. 544 00:57:16,775 --> 00:57:20,320 But for the most part, being a carer has suited me fine. 545 00:57:22,406 --> 00:57:25,658 I quite enjoy traveling across the country, 546 00:57:25,743 --> 00:57:29,370 shuttling from center to center, hospital to hospital. 547 00:57:43,010 --> 00:57:44,469 Here you are. 548 00:57:46,430 --> 00:57:47,930 Dark chocolate. 549 00:57:48,766 --> 00:57:52,101 If you knew how many shops I had to go to before I found those. 550 00:57:52,353 --> 00:57:55,730 I thought I wasn't allowed to eat so soon before the operation. 551 00:57:55,814 --> 00:57:58,983 Oh, you're not. But I am. 552 00:57:59,068 --> 00:58:00,193 And after the operation, 553 00:58:00,277 --> 00:58:03,237 you can wolf down the whole packet in one go. 554 00:58:17,795 --> 00:58:20,880 For me, the real test of being a carer 555 00:58:20,964 --> 00:58:24,092 is when a donor completes earlier than expected. 556 00:58:24,802 --> 00:58:28,137 On the second or even first donation. 557 00:58:28,555 --> 00:58:29,931 Can I just have a quick word? 558 00:58:30,015 --> 00:58:31,099 Okay. 559 00:58:32,351 --> 00:58:34,727 I was wondering who'd be working on Hannah today. 560 00:58:34,812 --> 00:58:38,147 I'd never say I've become immune to the completions. 561 00:58:39,108 --> 00:58:42,110 But they are something I am able to live with. 562 00:58:46,490 --> 00:58:48,950 You're Hannah's carer, aren't you? 563 00:58:49,868 --> 00:58:51,619 Hannah's carer? Yes. 564 00:58:52,913 --> 00:58:56,541 I'm sorry, it's always hard, but there were complications. 565 00:59:00,671 --> 00:59:02,130 You need me to sign the release? 566 00:59:02,214 --> 00:59:03,423 Please. 567 00:59:05,634 --> 00:59:07,719 Are you going to leave now? 568 00:59:07,803 --> 00:59:09,929 We can quite easily provide you with a bed tonight 569 00:59:10,013 --> 00:59:11,514 if you've got a long drive. 570 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,016 I can be back home in under two hours. 571 00:59:14,101 --> 00:59:15,727 It's always better to wake at home, isn't it? 572 00:59:25,279 --> 00:59:26,946 Is that someone you know? 573 00:59:27,072 --> 00:59:28,531 Yeah. 574 00:59:30,909 --> 00:59:32,827 Actually, we grew up together. 575 00:59:33,203 --> 00:59:34,996 Oh. How is she? 576 00:59:35,289 --> 00:59:37,165 Were you close? 577 00:59:37,291 --> 00:59:39,876 We haven't seen each other now for almost 10 years. 578 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:44,338 Well, Ruth isn't as strong as we would hope, at this stage. 579 00:59:46,550 --> 00:59:48,509 She's done two donations. 580 00:59:49,052 --> 00:59:50,386 She has. 581 00:59:51,388 --> 00:59:52,889 You think she'll complete on the third? 582 00:59:53,766 --> 00:59:55,975 I think she wants to complete. 583 00:59:56,894 --> 01:00:01,230 And, as you know, when they want to complete, they usually do. 584 01:01:20,436 --> 01:01:22,104 Kathy. 585 01:01:32,532 --> 01:01:35,492 I've been keeping tabs on you over the years. 586 01:01:35,743 --> 01:01:37,286 And Tommy, too. 587 01:01:37,620 --> 01:01:39,580 What do you hear about Tommy? 588 01:01:39,664 --> 01:01:42,916 That he's done his second donation, too, 589 01:01:43,001 --> 01:01:45,836 and apparently he's doing very well on it. 590 01:01:46,504 --> 01:01:47,671 Apparently he's in better shape 591 01:01:47,755 --> 01:01:50,215 than some after their first donation. 592 01:01:50,425 --> 01:01:53,176 Good old Tommy. I'm not surprised. 593 01:01:55,305 --> 01:01:57,264 Are you surprised at me? 594 01:01:59,267 --> 01:02:02,102 I expect I look a bit broken, Kath. 595 01:02:04,355 --> 01:02:06,023 It's okay. 596 01:02:06,316 --> 01:02:09,359 I don't think I'd want to survive my third donation, anyway. 597 01:02:10,028 --> 01:02:12,154 You hear things, don't you? 598 01:02:12,363 --> 01:02:14,323 What kind of things? 599 01:02:14,866 --> 01:02:16,658 Oh, you know. 600 01:02:19,871 --> 01:02:22,039 How, maybe, after the fourth donation, 601 01:02:22,123 --> 01:02:24,917 even if you've technically completed, 602 01:02:25,043 --> 01:02:28,211 you're still conscious in some sort of way. 603 01:02:29,130 --> 01:02:33,300 And then you find out that there are more donations, plenty of them. 604 01:02:33,384 --> 01:02:37,596 No more recovery centers. No more carers. 605 01:02:39,349 --> 01:02:41,391 Just watching and waiting. 606 01:02:43,144 --> 01:02:45,479 Till they switch you off. 607 01:02:51,319 --> 01:02:53,737 I don't think I fancy that. 608 01:02:57,742 --> 01:03:00,160 Is it the end of the day already? 609 01:03:01,537 --> 01:03:03,288 Do you know, it's funny, 610 01:03:03,373 --> 01:03:07,668 I think I've thought about you every day for the last few months. 611 01:03:07,752 --> 01:03:09,753 Hoping I'd see you again. 612 01:03:11,422 --> 01:03:14,257 Do you know, I felt sure that I would. 613 01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:20,847 Seemed impossible that I'd complete without seeing you one last time. 614 01:03:23,267 --> 01:03:25,769 It's not the last time, Ruth. 615 01:03:26,771 --> 01:03:28,647 They offered me a bed. 616 01:03:28,731 --> 01:03:31,108 I was planning on staying the night anyway. 617 01:03:31,317 --> 01:03:32,943 Well. 618 01:03:57,885 --> 01:04:00,387 I always knew you'd be a good carer. 619 01:04:00,847 --> 01:04:02,973 Your donors are very lucky. 620 01:04:08,354 --> 01:04:11,440 Look, I was lying awake last night 621 01:04:11,524 --> 01:04:14,484 and I suddenly had an idea that we'd take a trip together. 622 01:04:14,694 --> 01:04:16,486 Where to? 623 01:04:16,988 --> 01:04:19,865 I hadn't much thought of where, just a trip. 624 01:04:24,245 --> 01:04:25,829 Although 625 01:04:27,415 --> 01:04:29,166 a place did spring to mind. 626 01:04:29,250 --> 01:04:31,752 One of the boys on the other floor was talking about it. 627 01:04:31,836 --> 01:04:33,670 It's near the Kingsfield Recovery Center. 628 01:04:34,172 --> 01:04:37,674 Is it the boat? The one left on the beach? 629 01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:39,384 You've heard about it, too? 630 01:04:39,469 --> 01:04:42,012 I heard. One of the carers who worked there. 631 01:04:45,224 --> 01:04:46,975 And do you suppose, 632 01:04:48,019 --> 01:04:51,229 if we're driving all that way, 633 01:04:51,981 --> 01:04:54,274 that we could call in on Tommy? 634 01:04:58,488 --> 01:05:01,448 Told you I'd been keeping tabs on you. 635 01:05:03,159 --> 01:05:04,576 Have you seen him? 636 01:05:05,828 --> 01:05:07,162 No, not since The Cottages. 637 01:05:08,206 --> 01:05:09,831 No, neither have I. 638 01:05:15,963 --> 01:05:17,464 How will we find him? 639 01:05:17,548 --> 01:05:20,217 His carer said he'd be waiting outside. 640 01:05:37,068 --> 01:05:38,568 Look, there he is. 641 01:05:45,451 --> 01:05:48,662 Do you think he's recognized us through the glass? 642 01:05:50,915 --> 01:05:52,749 No, no, no. 643 01:05:52,834 --> 01:05:54,835 Let's not get out. 644 01:06:11,519 --> 01:06:12,686 Ruth's in the car. 645 01:06:12,770 --> 01:06:13,937 Oh, right. 646 01:06:14,063 --> 01:06:15,438 Hey! 647 01:06:15,898 --> 01:06:17,274 Hi! 648 01:06:18,776 --> 01:06:20,110 Hi. Hi. 649 01:06:21,571 --> 01:06:22,612 How are you? 650 01:06:22,697 --> 01:06:23,780 I'm good. 651 01:06:24,115 --> 01:06:25,323 Look at your hair. 652 01:06:25,408 --> 01:06:27,117 Oh, yeah. My hair. 653 01:06:35,543 --> 01:06:37,878 I can't quite believe that I have you both here. 654 01:06:40,923 --> 01:06:42,507 Does it feel to you that we're back at Hailsham again? 655 01:06:42,592 --> 01:06:44,885 Like no time has passed? 656 01:06:45,511 --> 01:06:46,595 No, it doesn't. 657 01:06:46,679 --> 01:06:47,971 No, it doesn't at all, does it? 658 01:06:48,389 --> 01:06:51,141 It really doesn't at all. It's really weird. 659 01:06:51,267 --> 01:06:52,893 But a good weird, I think. 660 01:06:57,773 --> 01:07:01,318 I don't suppose you both heard that Hailsham was closed? 661 01:07:03,905 --> 01:07:07,157 The only schools left now, you hear they're like battery farms. 662 01:07:08,201 --> 01:07:09,826 Like Morningdale. 663 01:07:10,286 --> 01:07:13,330 I'm sure that's an exaggeration, though. 664 01:07:15,458 --> 01:07:17,667 Are you sure we're going the right way? 665 01:07:33,851 --> 01:07:35,352 It's locked, it looks like. 666 01:07:36,270 --> 01:07:37,771 No one said anything about this. 667 01:07:37,855 --> 01:07:39,606 No one said anything about a locked gate. 668 01:07:39,690 --> 01:07:42,525 Ruth, just relax. It's okay. 669 01:07:51,202 --> 01:07:53,036 Can walk through here. 670 01:08:21,065 --> 01:08:22,107 Wow. 671 01:08:35,579 --> 01:08:37,706 Hey, come on. 672 01:09:25,339 --> 01:09:28,466 I wonder if that's what Hailsham looks like now. 673 01:09:31,094 --> 01:09:34,055 Do you ever hear, Kath, about any of the students from Hailsham? 674 01:09:34,139 --> 01:09:36,057 Sometimes, yeah. 675 01:09:37,559 --> 01:09:42,521 I heard that Amanda completed on her first donation. 676 01:09:43,148 --> 01:09:46,233 I think that happens more than they ever tell us. 677 01:09:46,318 --> 01:09:47,318 Hmm. 678 01:09:47,402 --> 01:09:51,197 Yeah, there was this guy at my care center 679 01:09:51,323 --> 01:09:56,327 who was always really scared of completing on his first donation. 680 01:09:57,537 --> 01:09:59,330 But it was all fine. 681 01:09:59,414 --> 01:10:02,333 And he's just come through his third one now, 682 01:10:02,959 --> 01:10:05,836 and he's completely all right. 683 01:10:10,967 --> 01:10:13,094 It's funny, I don't think... 684 01:10:14,179 --> 01:10:16,263 Well, I know I wouldn't have been a very good carer, 685 01:10:16,348 --> 01:10:18,391 but in a way I actually think I'm quite a good donor. 686 01:10:18,475 --> 01:10:21,185 That's what we're supposed to be, isn't it? 687 01:10:33,740 --> 01:10:35,366 I'd like you to forgive me. 688 01:10:37,994 --> 01:10:39,787 I don't expect you to. 689 01:10:40,372 --> 01:10:41,497 Forgive you for what? 690 01:10:48,797 --> 01:10:51,132 For keeping you and Tommy apart. 691 01:10:55,011 --> 01:10:58,305 Should have been you two together, I always knew it. 692 01:10:58,390 --> 01:11:00,641 As far back as I can remember. 693 01:11:02,644 --> 01:11:06,063 It wasn't just because of the rumors about deferrals. 694 01:11:10,527 --> 01:11:12,736 It was because I was jealous. 695 01:11:15,323 --> 01:11:19,452 You had real love and I didn't, 696 01:11:23,248 --> 01:11:26,584 and I didn't want to be the one that was left alone. 697 01:11:37,721 --> 01:11:39,388 It's the worst thing I ever did. 698 01:11:43,935 --> 01:11:46,270 And now I want to put it right. 699 01:11:46,646 --> 01:11:48,355 I don't know how you can do that, Ruth. 700 01:11:48,857 --> 01:11:50,274 I can 701 01:11:51,776 --> 01:11:53,444 if you two get a deferral. 702 01:11:54,446 --> 01:11:56,614 It's too late for that, Ruth. 703 01:11:57,115 --> 01:11:59,950 Way too late. It's stupid to even think about it. 704 01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:04,330 It isn't too late. Look, you'll see, both of you. 705 01:12:05,081 --> 01:12:09,627 I wanted to do this trip because I had something that I wanted to give you. 706 01:12:11,087 --> 01:12:12,963 It's Madame's address. 707 01:12:15,884 --> 01:12:19,595 That's who you apply to. That's who you have to go and see. 708 01:12:22,390 --> 01:12:24,183 How did you get this? 709 01:12:25,894 --> 01:12:29,688 It wasn't easy, but I've had years to think about what I did. 710 01:12:29,940 --> 01:12:34,318 And years to try and work out a way to make it right. 711 01:13:19,364 --> 01:13:22,575 I started doing them when we were at The Cottages. 712 01:13:22,742 --> 01:13:25,244 The day after we went to find Ruth's Possible. 713 01:13:25,370 --> 01:13:28,289 I realized that if I was ever going to apply for a deferral, 714 01:13:28,373 --> 01:13:30,624 then I'd have to show them something. 715 01:13:32,043 --> 01:13:35,045 And I've done hundreds of them over the years. 716 01:13:36,590 --> 01:13:38,257 They're wonderful. 717 01:13:39,050 --> 01:13:40,551 What? Really? 718 01:13:40,802 --> 01:13:42,219 Yeah. 719 01:13:43,805 --> 01:13:45,472 Well, thank you. 720 01:13:57,611 --> 01:14:00,738 I have never showed anyone them until now. 721 01:14:03,199 --> 01:14:05,284 They were my secret. 722 01:14:06,995 --> 01:14:09,747 Just like you and those porno magazines. 723 01:14:10,498 --> 01:14:12,166 You remember that? 724 01:14:12,584 --> 01:14:13,667 Yeah. 725 01:14:16,171 --> 01:14:18,088 Ruth said you didn't understand what I was doing. 726 01:14:18,173 --> 01:14:20,299 No, I don't think she understood what you were doing. 727 01:14:20,467 --> 01:14:22,468 She thought you were looking at the dirty pictures 728 01:14:22,552 --> 01:14:25,095 in order to find out about sex 729 01:14:27,182 --> 01:14:30,809 and to find out what you were missing out on or something. 730 01:14:34,314 --> 01:14:35,856 I knew. 731 01:14:37,525 --> 01:14:40,653 I knew you were looking for your Original. 732 01:14:43,323 --> 01:14:47,117 I used to have these huge urges to have sex sometimes. 733 01:14:48,119 --> 01:14:50,663 And sometimes they'd be so powerful, 734 01:14:51,206 --> 01:14:53,123 I just thought I'd do it with anyone. 735 01:14:55,627 --> 01:14:58,462 So I thought that had to tell me something. 736 01:14:58,588 --> 01:15:01,382 Something about the kind of person I was modeled on. 737 01:15:03,802 --> 01:15:05,469 It's stupid, 738 01:15:07,055 --> 01:15:10,140 but I guessed the magazines would be the most likely place I'd find her. 739 01:15:12,310 --> 01:15:14,061 You know those urges are natural, don't you? 740 01:15:14,145 --> 01:15:17,690 You know all of us had them. You know that now, right? 741 01:15:31,413 --> 01:15:33,163 "From Basrah we sailed, 742 01:15:34,582 --> 01:15:38,335 "day after day, night after night, over the sea, 743 01:15:39,462 --> 01:15:43,340 "visiting island after island and land after land, 744 01:15:44,676 --> 01:15:47,720 "selling or bartering our goods at each. 745 01:15:51,307 --> 01:15:55,769 "One day, after some weeks of sailing out of sight of land, 746 01:15:55,854 --> 01:15:58,564 "we saw an island in the sea with such fair greenery 747 01:15:58,648 --> 01:16:01,859 "that it appeared like one of the gardens of Eden. 748 01:16:02,444 --> 01:16:05,863 "At once the captain made towards this delectable land 749 01:16:05,947 --> 01:16:09,950 "and, when the anchor had been cast and the ladder lowered, 750 01:16:10,034 --> 01:16:12,870 "allowed his passengers to disembark." 751 01:16:19,502 --> 01:16:21,211 Don't stop. 752 01:18:47,067 --> 01:18:51,946 Ruth got it right. Right street, right door, everything. 753 01:18:56,452 --> 01:18:59,996 We have to decide which of my drawings we're gonna take. 754 01:19:03,417 --> 01:19:06,044 Just take the best ones. Maybe six or seven of them. 755 01:19:06,128 --> 01:19:08,129 You have to help me. Yeah, I know. 756 01:19:14,470 --> 01:19:17,305 So, we'll just go there. 757 01:19:17,389 --> 01:19:18,431 Mmm. 758 01:19:18,515 --> 01:19:20,183 Next week. 759 01:19:20,267 --> 01:19:22,810 I'll take you out for lab tests, I'll sign you out for the whole day 760 01:19:22,895 --> 01:19:24,604 and we'll visit Madame on the way back. 761 01:19:41,288 --> 01:19:43,414 We're going to do it. 762 01:19:45,709 --> 01:19:47,752 I thought you should know. 763 01:19:50,756 --> 01:19:52,632 You're going to apply? 764 01:19:55,386 --> 01:19:56,761 Yes. 765 01:20:02,518 --> 01:20:03,935 Good. 766 01:22:07,059 --> 01:22:08,935 Madame? 767 01:22:14,233 --> 01:22:15,650 Sorry. 768 01:22:16,527 --> 01:22:18,736 We didn't mean to startle you. 769 01:22:19,404 --> 01:22:21,155 We were at Hailsham. 770 01:22:25,911 --> 01:22:28,246 I'm Kathy. This is Tommy. 771 01:22:30,749 --> 01:22:33,084 We're not here to give you any trouble. 772 01:22:36,547 --> 01:22:38,005 From Hailsham? 773 01:22:38,090 --> 01:22:39,632 We just came to talk to you. 774 01:22:41,510 --> 01:22:43,761 And I brought you some things. 775 01:22:44,763 --> 01:22:47,640 Some things you might like for your Gallery. 776 01:22:49,810 --> 01:22:51,394 Come inside. 777 01:23:26,889 --> 01:23:28,890 Please, wait here. 778 01:23:46,992 --> 01:23:48,784 Look, it's Hailsham. 779 01:23:50,495 --> 01:23:52,663 Kathy, it's Hailsham. 780 01:23:54,625 --> 01:23:57,335 That's exactly how I remember it. 781 01:24:04,426 --> 01:24:06,052 Please, sit down. 782 01:24:21,360 --> 01:24:22,735 So... 783 01:24:25,948 --> 01:24:27,448 We're in love. 784 01:24:28,242 --> 01:24:30,785 And it's true love. It's verifiable. 785 01:24:31,870 --> 01:24:33,871 Verifiable. I see. 786 01:24:39,920 --> 01:24:41,420 Go on. 787 01:24:41,672 --> 01:24:43,089 Well, 788 01:24:44,758 --> 01:24:47,385 we'd heard about the deferrals. 789 01:24:49,596 --> 01:24:52,349 And we'd worked out the purpose of The Gallery. 790 01:24:53,726 --> 01:24:55,477 Tell me the purpose. 791 01:24:57,272 --> 01:25:00,357 To use our art from Hailsham 792 01:25:00,566 --> 01:25:02,901 to look into our souls, 793 01:25:03,945 --> 01:25:07,364 which would verify that we deserved a deferral. 794 01:25:08,074 --> 01:25:11,451 But the problem is 795 01:25:11,536 --> 01:25:14,413 I was a little bit mixed up back then 796 01:25:14,497 --> 01:25:18,709 and I didn't really do any art, 797 01:25:20,378 --> 01:25:22,713 so you never took anything of mine. 798 01:25:22,797 --> 01:25:26,258 I know, I know that that is my fault 799 01:25:26,342 --> 01:25:29,553 and it is probably much too late, 800 01:25:29,637 --> 01:25:31,638 but I brought some stuff with me today. 801 01:25:37,603 --> 01:25:40,689 This is a book of stuff and... 802 01:25:52,785 --> 01:25:54,828 Other stuff here. 803 01:25:59,625 --> 01:26:02,753 Some of them I've done quite recently, 804 01:26:03,796 --> 01:26:05,130 and others 805 01:26:07,091 --> 01:26:09,968 were done several years ago, so there's a real spread. 806 01:26:11,262 --> 01:26:14,556 You already have a load of stuff from Kath already. 807 01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:17,684 She got loads of stuff into The Gallery over the years, didn't... 808 01:26:17,810 --> 01:26:19,478 I'm sorry. 809 01:26:22,815 --> 01:26:24,775 I never know what to do. 810 01:26:31,616 --> 01:26:33,492 I'll take it from here. 811 01:26:39,374 --> 01:26:41,041 Thank you, George. 812 01:26:45,505 --> 01:26:47,923 Kathy H and Tommy D. 813 01:26:49,675 --> 01:26:51,635 I remember you both. 814 01:26:52,178 --> 01:26:55,305 Kathy, a bright girl, and so creative. 815 01:26:55,598 --> 01:26:58,892 And Tommy, a big heart and terrible rages. 816 01:27:03,147 --> 01:27:04,856 You have to understand, 817 01:27:05,858 --> 01:27:10,445 Hailsham was the last place to consider the ethics of donation. 818 01:27:10,863 --> 01:27:14,241 We used your art to show what you were capable of. 819 01:27:14,909 --> 01:27:17,577 To show that donor children are all but human. 820 01:27:19,414 --> 01:27:23,375 But we were providing an answer to a question no one was asking. 821 01:27:24,961 --> 01:27:27,170 If you ask people to return to darkness, 822 01:27:27,255 --> 01:27:31,758 the days of lung cancer, breast cancer, motor neurone disease, 823 01:27:32,718 --> 01:27:34,594 they'll simply say no. 824 01:27:37,974 --> 01:27:41,268 We used to get two or three couples like you a year. 825 01:27:42,895 --> 01:27:44,813 Not so much these days. 826 01:27:46,315 --> 01:27:48,817 You're the first for quite a while. 827 01:27:52,947 --> 01:27:55,240 To apply for a deferral? 828 01:28:03,666 --> 01:28:06,084 There are no deferrals, Tommy. 829 01:28:11,090 --> 01:28:15,302 There are no deferrals. And there never have been. 830 01:28:25,771 --> 01:28:29,524 We didn't have The Gallery in order to look into your souls. 831 01:28:29,942 --> 01:28:33,153 We had The Gallery to see if you had souls at all. 832 01:28:46,209 --> 01:28:47,876 Do you understand? 833 01:28:58,763 --> 01:29:00,138 Yes. 834 01:29:06,979 --> 01:29:09,814 Your drawings are very good. 835 01:29:11,150 --> 01:29:13,652 If you want, I'll keep them. 836 01:30:16,090 --> 01:30:18,216 Thank you for talking to us. 837 01:30:22,054 --> 01:30:23,805 You poor creatures. 838 01:30:25,600 --> 01:30:27,559 I wish I could help you. 839 01:31:27,495 --> 01:31:30,121 Sorry, can we stop for a second? I need to get out. 840 01:34:37,936 --> 01:34:40,521 It's been two weeks since I lost him. 841 01:35:11,136 --> 01:35:13,345 I've been given my notice now. 842 01:35:17,183 --> 01:35:19,852 My first donation is in a month's time. 843 01:35:28,528 --> 01:35:31,780 I come here and imagine that this is the spot 844 01:35:31,865 --> 01:35:35,784 where everything I've lost since my childhood has washed up. 845 01:35:39,748 --> 01:35:43,083 I tell myself if that were true, 846 01:35:43,919 --> 01:35:46,253 and I waited long enough, 847 01:35:47,339 --> 01:35:51,216 then a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field 848 01:35:51,384 --> 01:35:55,346 and gradually get larger until I'd see it was Tommy. 849 01:35:58,391 --> 01:35:59,975 He'd wave 850 01:36:00,435 --> 01:36:02,311 and maybe call. 851 01:36:04,648 --> 01:36:07,691 I don't let the fantasy go beyond that. 852 01:36:07,901 --> 01:36:09,234 I can't let it. 853 01:36:11,363 --> 01:36:15,366 I remind myself I was lucky to have had any time with him at all. 854 01:36:19,913 --> 01:36:22,164 What I'm not sure about 855 01:36:23,057 --> 01:36:26,313 is if our lives have been so different from the lives of the people we save. 856 01:36:30,215 --> 01:36:32,132 We all complete. 857 01:36:34,594 --> 01:36:38,305 Maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through 858 01:36:40,266 --> 01:36:42,810 or feel we've had enough time. 859 01:43:05,857 --> 01:43:11,261 When we are scattered afar and asunder 860 01:43:11,596 --> 01:43:16,795 Parted are those who are singing today 861 01:43:17,402 --> 01:43:23,034 When we look back and forgetfully wonder 862 01:43:23,541 --> 01:43:28,979 What we were like in our learning and play 863 01:43:29,414 --> 01:43:34,909 Oh, the great days will bring distance enchanted 864 01:43:35,186 --> 01:43:40,249 Days of fresh air in the rain and the sun 865 01:43:40,792 --> 01:43:46,128 How we rejoiced as we struggled and panted 866 01:43:46,597 --> 01:43:53,560 Echoes of dreamland Hailsham lives on 63761

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