Original subtitles

??

[ Indistinct conversations ]

??

-Hello. Thank you!

Alright, guys, standing by!

-Quiet on set please!

-Alright. Nina, I need you over here, there, alright?

Now lean right over them, okay?

And, yeah, now, they should be quivering, Nina, alright?

Quivering. Lots of energy, guys, okay?

Are we there?

You good?

Okay?

Alright, all set, guys. Let's go.

End the scene.

-146, take one.

-And...

action!

-I knew it!

-It's not what it looks like. -What?

You tripped and your manhood accidentally fell into the slut

who happened to be naked in our bed?!

-Darling, let me explain.

-You knew I needed help with the baby

after the doctors removed my brain tumor.

You swore you wouldn't cheat on me again.

-And I meant it, baby.

-I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off an au pair.

-She seduced me.

Baby, I didn't know what I was doing!

-So I decided to teach you a lesson.

-What lesson?

-I didn't hire her because she's good with kids.

I hired her because I knew you'd sleep with her.

I hired her because...

she's your daughter!

-[ Gasps ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

-[ Retches ]

-She's the product of the first woman

you screwed behind my back on our wedding night.

Tell me, when you're in bed...

Does she call you Daddy?

[ Laughing ]

Is nobody going to call "cut"?

[ Sighs ]

-[ Choking ]

-[ Screams ]

[ All screaming ]

??

??

??

-Just this way.

The networks won't let us film again

while there's an open investigation.

I want Danny's killer found so he can have justice,

obviously but I am also a producer.

It's been a week.

I'm in charge of a crew and cast of over two hundred people...

And every day that "Dublin Streets" is not filming,

we are bleeding money.

I'm going to have to start letting people go.

-And the police haven't got anywhere, Jim?

-They're completely stumped.

-Why am I not surprised?

-Look, I am willing to pay you whatever you need,

give you full access.

I'm desperate.

??

So, err...

This was where we were filming.

Jason, Nina and Crystal --

they play Jack, Yvonne and Sylvia --

they were in here with our cameramen,

our loader and boom operator.

-Your what now?

-Boom operator.

Sound guy.

Sorry, I forget how confusing our business

is to non-industry people.

-In our business, we just call people suspects.

-Indeed.

I was downstairs in the living area with Geraldine,

our writer, our standby art director Wayne,

and our script supervisor Edel.

She makes sure that the actors are sticking to their lines.

Shall we go onto the landing?

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

-[ Sniffs ]

Strong smell of paint up here.

-This is where Danny was.

There was a lot of blood.

The Guards advised us to clean it up

once forensics were done.

We couldn't risk the paparazzi breaking in and getting pics.

So, Danny was out here alone when he was attacked.

-Could somebody have come upstairs?

-We were downstairs.

Everybody else was outside.

Nobody came in through the front door, or the back.

How did his killer get to him?

-Well, somebody must have come in here.

-No, nobody moved from their place.

-Well, who would have wanted to kill him?

Did he have...enemies?

-I don't know. Look...

Danny was an incredible director.

Our ratings were soaring.

He made our show look like a Hollywood outfit

on a biscuit budget.

He didn't have any close family.

He pretty much lived for his work.

It's a bloody mystery.

That's what it is.

-Could we see the scene you were filming?

-Yes, of course.

-I didn't hire her because she's good with kids.

I hired her because I knew you'd sleep with her.

I hired her because...

she's your daughter!

-Holy crap!

-Very Shakespearean.

Wait, wait.

Play that again. -What, the "daughter" line?

-She's the product --

[ Tape rewinding ]

I hired her because...

she's your daughter! [ Rattle]

-[ Gasps]

-What was that?

-Could be anything.

We try to keep the set silent,

but sometimes people shift their weight on a floorboard,

or bang a door somewhere.

The microphones, they're sensitive,

even with the ceilings muffled.

-Tell me, when you're in bed...

Does she call you Daddy?

-Oh! I think I might start watching this show!

-[ Laughing] [ Ringtone plays ]

-Excuse me. -Yeah.

-I'd better take this.

It's another worried actor.

I'm running out of ways to placate them.

Hi there. Sorry.

-I hired her because...

she's your daughter! [ Rattle]

-[ Gasps]

-I just...

I can't see how anybody got into him.

-Well, we know he couldn't have slit his own throat

and spirited away the knife.

Maybe he came in through a window?

-He most certainly didn't.

-And you are?

-Frank Stynes. Head of Security.

I was here that day.

-Oh.

Well, not to be rude, Frank, but I imagine if your job

is to make sure that nobody went into that house,

I'm sure you don't want to be accused of letting anyone in.

-No, you don't understand.

The soap's been having trouble with people

trying to get hold of the storylines

before they've been aired.

So I was on high alert that day, and I'm telling you,

I didn't take my eyes off that house

the whole time they were filming.

I even had guys out the back.

I swear on my life.

-I can see that you take your job seriously, Frank.

So tell me...

Who do you think wanted to kill Danny?

-I have no idea.

He lived for his job from what I could tell,

but I didn't know the man too well.

I'm only here the last two months.

The last guy crashed his car after...

So I thought, as long as I avoided drinking on the job

that they would keep me on.

But bloody hell.

Letting someone get killed on your watch...

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

No.

No, lads.

Come on. Come on!

-I'm confounded, Fergus.

??

That monitor thing downstairs,

presumably Danny had one just like it?

-Exactly the same.

-Three legs.

His monitor was facing this way.

So...

he had his back to the rest of the landing.

And his killer didn't come in through the front door

or the back window.

Oh.

-Oh, we, uh...

We sometimes do that with the ceiling.

It muffles the sound of the rain.

-Oh.

-Where's the attic door?

-I presume we covered it up.

??

-Cheers.

??

[ Thump ] -Ah! Well done, Fergus.

-Right.

??

??

Want me to have a look? I can see what's up here.

-Well, a killer and a weapon would be handy.

??

-[ Grunts ]

??

[ Rattle ]

-Do that again.

[ Rattle ]

That was the sound I heard in the recording.

-So the killer wasup here.

-Well, they must have come down when everyone was gone.

-Yeah, but the police came,

so they would've had to have hide up here for a while.

-Yeah.

-Hold on, I think there's something.

-Be careful!

Did the police not ask where the attic was?

-Well, they were convinced somebody

came in through a window or something

and then we were just too distracted to notice.

They were a bit dismissive, to be honest.

-There's a crawl space!

I think it leads to the attic next door.

Can you guys go next door?

-Yes, of course.

I'll get Frank, just in case.

Be careful.

??

??

-Alright?

??

That's how they did it.

-My God.

-You were watching the front of the house they were filming in.

Were you watching this one?

-No.

This is my fault.

I understand if you want to sack me.

-You're not sacked, Frank.

You were doing exactly what had been asked of you.

How could we have known?

-If I'd known the houses were connected, though.

Why didn't your last security guy tell me?

It's our job to know everything!

??

-Frank is on to something.

What if the last security guard knew about that crawl space?

-There could be a few people on the show

who have the same knowledge.

-And any of them could have had it in for Danny.

??

-It's been a week, Charlie.

And we are no closer to knowing

how or why Danny Phelan was murdered.

-A fact that I'm well aware of.

-Do we even know why he was murdered on set?

It's a bit risky, isn't it?

To kill somebody when they're bloody surrounded.

-Danny had an excellent security setup at home

and he was driven to and from set.

The only time he was alone was when they were filming.

-People are obsessed with this soap, Charlie.

They want it back on their screens.

And they are watching us while they wait.

-Well, I can't make it go any faster just because people

are afraid they won't have their silly show

to watch with their supper! -It is not silly!

I mean, Charlie,

the Commissioner is a fan of "Dublin Streets."

-Right.

??

[ Silverware clinking ]

-This is the nicest risotto I've ever had.

-Aw, thank you, love.

How's your mum getting on?

And Liberty?

-Yeah, they're getting there.

Liberty stays with her some nights

and then she stays with us the rest of the week.

It's -- It's actually kind of nice.

-It's really nice.

-You seem distracted, Charlie.

Is it a case you can't solve?

Do you need some help?

-Oh, aren't we funny.

More wine, Jessica Fletcher?

-Hm. That's no insult.

That woman was an icon.

So...

Danny Phelan. -Ah...

You've been bloody hired, haven't you?

We're on top of it, Mother.

-You are? -Mm-hmm.

-Oh, well, then it wasn't necessary for you

to go up into that attic and find that secret crawl space

that the killer came through, Fergus.

-Um...

I'll go and get the um...

more wine.

??

-So, do you know what happened?

I mean, it's fascinating, isn't it?

A real-life death on a soap!

-Do you watch "Dublin Streets," Orla?

-[ Scoffs ] God, no! [ Laughs ]

I don't watch that kind of trivial nonsense.

I'm a professional woman, Fergus.

No, it's, uh... the, uh, women on the PTA.

It's all they talk about.

-Aren't they all professional women too, Mam?

-[ Clears throat ]

Eat your vegetables.

-[ Laughs ] I'm not five.

-So what do the women on the PTA have to say about the show?

-They have so many theories.

There's this plot line,

Jack's been having an affair with the au pair.

And they reckon Yvonne, his wife, knows

and is going to do something twisty like kill

Jack or something.

Like, apparently.

-Right. So...

Youdon't know anything about the show, Orla?

-Not a thing. -No.

-Weren't you saying that Crystal Carroll is an awful actress?

-Actually I was saying that my friends were saying that.

-Hm. -I wouldn't know.

-It's not bloody good enough, Vicky!

-Oh, dear.

??

-I mean, honestly, it was like the greatest scene

our writers never wrote.

-Jason, you can't say things like that.

A man died.

-In spectacular fashion though, I mean, you have to admit it!

Though I am sorry you had to go through him flooring you first,

Neens.

-Just the thought of that happening right next door

and he couldn't even call for help.

-What was he like to work with?

-Oh, uh, you know, he was a real pro.

Knew how to get the best out of any actor.

-He didn't get the best out of Crystal.

-That washer best.

-By the way, where is Crystal?

Wasn't she joining us?

-Crystal likes to make an...

-My apologies.

Here I am.

Your security guard let me in, Nina.

-Who? You mean my sister?

-Oh.

She's quite large, isn't she?

And you two, you must be the citizen detectives.

-That...

Yeah, that's us.

-Oh, do you mind if I sit here?

My nerves are shot since Danny.

I've upped my security. You should too, Nina.

-Oh, well, I don't have your problem, Crystal.

-What's your problem?

-I have a stalker.

-I see.

Is this recent? -God no.

It's going on a while.

He sends me roses every week, little cards with no signature.

Goes through my bins, that sort of thing.

Oh, it started on my last show.

A few weeks ago,

I could swear my knickers went missing from the line.

So, I have him, and now we have a killer on the loose as well.

Honestly, Nina, hire somebody.

-Crystal, we were talking about Danny.

-Oh!

That man was a genius.

He could really reach into an actor's soul.

Do you know what I mean?

He challenged me.

He made me go to places I never imagined I could.

He was...an artiste.

-He was directing soaps, in Ireland.

I mean, for fuck's sake, he wasn't Francis Ford Coppola.

-He was everything.

He supported me!

He was opening doors for me!

-He threw a clapperboard at me when I missed a line.

Once. -Yeah, well,

he kept calling me "sugar-tits" when he started.

-[ Laughs ]

Geraldine nearly throttled him last week

when he changed that scene at the last minute.

-So he washard to work with.

-He had his moments.

All directors, they're the same.

??

??

-I have to let some people go.

The network loves "Dublin Streets,"

but our contract is clear:

we get paid per delivered episode,

and we cover any hiatus,

so please tell me you are making progress.

-We are, but we need more help from you.

-Anything, anything!

-Well, the actors have been talking to us per your request,

but we need to talk to crew.

That last security guard you had...

Did he carry any grudges after he lost his job?

-I don't think he's able to carry anything.

He broke both his arms and legs in a car crash.

He's still in hospital. -Right.

So he definitely wasn't crawling through the attic space.

-Ah. See what you mean.

-What about someone else who worked with Danny?

Um...

The art director, Wayne.

He'd be familiar with sets, right?

-Sure, he might have known where the attic is,

but honestly, we never go up there.

And he just gets on with his job.

I've never seen him exchange anything

other than work talk with Danny.

-We should talk with him anyway.

Where will we find him?

-Well, he's freelancing on another show.

-What about the writer, Geraldine?

She had a problematic relationship with Danny, right?

-Ah.

Directors and writers sometimes clash.

That's normal. -So where is she?

-She's in her office, using the time off

to try to get her passion project up and running.

-What's her passion project?

-It's a film about a married couple who go on a road trip

through rural Ireland to save their relationship.

A whiny couple, a banger of a car, a fuckload of cows.

Sounds riveting, doesn't it?

-Meh. -I don't know.

I mean, in the right hands...

-In Geraldine's hands alone.

She's writing, producing, directing and casting.

She has this notion...

What is it now?

Only a writer can see a vision realized to its full potential.

Which is absolute bollixology

because filming is a team effort,

and right now, I am letting good team members go.

??

??

-Wayne, is it?

I'm the new production intern.

-There's two of you?

I just saw the other one at the catering truck.

-Yeah. Yeah, they hired a few.

I'm to work with you?

-Me?

-Yeah.

-Deadly.

Right, let's get this van loaded.

-Grand.

One more.

So, what's your official title?

-Usually?

Standby Art Director.

Here?

Dogsbody.

-Right.

So this isn't what you usually do?

-Nah.

Filming's postponed at the moment, so...

-Oh, yeah. Yeah...

One of the lads said you worked on "Dublin Streets"?

-Yeah.

Listen, mate, I can't really chat.

I've a bit of a crisis to deal with.

You get going there and I'll be back, yeah?

Good lad.

??

??

-The part of the wife?

-Yes. -But you know she's in her 20s?

-Oh, of course. I-It--

It's just that

I felt so much pathos with her character.

I felt like...

just a really strong emotional connection to her pain.

Plus it wouldn't be the first time

that I've aged down for a role.

-Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't think that you --

-No, no, please, please.

Please just let me read for you.

I was blown away when I read your script.

And then I discovered you were writing, directing,

producing and casting, I said wow, yes!

I mean, only a creator can truly realize their vision.

-You're right. That's what I think. [ Laughs ]

Okay. -Okay.

-Let's hear you.

Cows.

-Do you have to do that?

-Do what?

-Say "cows" every time you see them.

-Everything I do annoys you.

Sometimes I think my breathing annoys you.

-Gerald, are we done?

This is what we've become?

-What have we become?

-You do something that I used to find endearing

and now when you open your mouth,

I just want to...

pull your tongue out of your head and choke you with it,

poke out your eyes and piss into your skull

through the empty sockets.

What have we become?

-I think there's hope for us.

-I wish we could rewind time and erase the moment

that your father met your mother.

There's only one thing that gives me hope.

-There is?

-For there to be so much hate...

??

...there must be love.

??

-That's it. You've got it.

That's her!

-I'm an exceptional actress.

[ Indistinct conversations, telephones ringing ]

-To be honest, I would hire you in the morning,

but I need money to make my movie

and most of the financiers are nearly always men.

The male actors, they can be in their 50s, 60s, 70s,

but the women?

They think anyone over 30 is old.

-Hmph. I understand.

My last director was the most sexist ass

I've ever worked with.

-The last guy I worked with thought he was a god.

But do you know what the best directors all have in common?

They know that no writers means no world.

The writer is the only one

who has the true intention of the story.

But to be fair, that last director was awful to everybody.

Wanker. Sorry.

I shouldn't speak ill of the dead.

-You're talking about Danny Phelan, aren't you?

-I'd actually rather not talk about it.

-Oh, no, please do!

I mean, if he was that awful,

I can see why somebody would want to kill him.

-Can we drop this?

-Do you know who killed him?

-Sorry, I really don't want to...

Oh, hold on.

Now...

You actually are a really good actress.

I'm disappointed I can't hire you.

You're the P.I. who talked to Nina, aren't you?

-You and Nina are close, right?

-Not particularly.

You left your Sidney Lumet book at her house.

Lumet always asked the writers what their intention was, right?

"Making Movies"?

It's a great read, by the way.

For when you want to talk.

??

??

-[ Breathing heavily ]

??

Where the hell are you?

??

??

??

-I'm telling you, man,

"Dublin Streets" will be back with a bang.

-D'ya think? -Yeah, networks say

they don't like a scandal,

but can you imagine how many people are going to tune

in to that episode now they know the director snuffed it

while we were filming? -[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

-And didn't it work out for the best?

-What d'ya mean?

-Jim was going to fire him anyway.

-Oh, right.

-The point is, I'd decided not to fire him in the end,

so it wasn't relevant.

-You still should have told us.

Why were you going to fire him in the first place?

-Look...

I didn't want to badmouth the man.

But yes, he could be difficult to work with sometimes.

In our industry, everybody thinks

they can do everyone else's job.

And directors, they're the worst.

Our audience numbers were soaring,

and Danny was an integral part of that.

But he'd lost the run of himself

and people were threatening to quit.

-People like who?

-Well, Geraldine, for one.

And Nina.

-So you were going to fire him before everyone walked?

-Yes, I wanted to.

But I was getting pushback from the network.

They loved him.

But it didn't really matter in the end

because when I spoke to Danny, he promised big changes.

He said he was going to fix some of his fuckups.

And I believed him.

-[ Sighs ] Well, if he didn't tell us that...

-Then what else isn't he telling us?

-Right.

Come on.

??

[ Knock on door ]

??

Oh. -Harry Wild.

-What are you doing here?

-Oh, I was just, uh, in the neighborhood.

-Are you stalking me?

-If I was stalking you,

I'd be hiding somewhere with binoculars.

-Sounds like you're familiar with the art.

-I, um...

I just closed a particularly perplexing case

and I thought there's only one person who would appreciate

just how clever this killer was.

-How clever the killer was or how clever youare?

-Ah. Touch�.

The victim drowned to death while sitting in his car

at a fast-food drive-through.

-I don't care.

What do you want?

-Oh. Um...

Well, I still feel bad for how I behaved

when we first met and...

Well, I'd like to make it up to you.

Could I take you out for a drink?

-Well, I'm sure you could.

May you?

No. I'm busy.

-Perhaps another night?

-I'm busy that night, too.

Goodbye, Harry.

-Oh.

Never did run smooth.

??

??

-Ha. Shakespeare.

Who does he think he is?

[ Knock on door ]

What now?

-I brought you some shopping.

-Why?

-To be nice?

-Not another drug-dealing ex that you need help with, is it?

-Harry.

-Come in.

-Who was that guy?

-What guy?

-The guy I saw leaving your garden.

-Oh, him.

Jehovah's Witness.

-Oh.

-Why did you bring me shopping, Orla?

-Uh, I brought wine.

-Well, this is bonus points.

You want to know what's going on in the case.

[ Laughs ] Does Charlie know you're here?

Ha!

-I'm just trying to be a good daughter-in-law, Harry.

I'm not interested in your case.

And I don't tell Charlie

where I'm going every time I leave the house.

I am my own woman.

-Oh, I'm starting to like you, Orla.

-Starting to?

You've known me for almost 20 years.

[ Clears throat ] It's, uh, it's my friends on the PTA.

I mentioned that you were involved

and they're so curious about this soap.

This storyline between Jack and Sylvia...

-Oh, that.

It's his daughter.

He's screwing his daughter.

-No!

You are kidding me! That's insane.

What the hell is the writer thinking?

-You can ask her yourself. She just texted me.

She's coming over.

-Geraldine Hutchison is coming here?

Oh, my God!

-He drowned in his car...

Ah...

-You're so good, Frank.

I can't risk phoning a strange taxi.

I mean, what if my stalker is a taxi driver?

I'm so nervous all the time now.

-I don't mind organizing a lift for you, Ms. Carroll.

It really isn't part of my job.

-Oh, I know. That's why you're so good.

I feel a bit safer when I'm with you.

-Well, we can talk through all the other security measures

you should be taking,

like not putting private things in your bins.

Or maybe not hanging your, eh,

smalls on the line in your garden.

-I'll do whatever you say.

I should have listened to you when you warned me before.

-I mean, that's okay...

??

-Bingo.

??

??

??

??

??

You took your bloody laptop home.

??

??

??

??

What?

??

Hmm.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

Aaah!

-Orla's my -- -Assistant.

I'm helping with the case.

-[ Chuckles ]

And you two are...a couple?

-Well, we try to keep it under wraps.

People get judgmental about relationships on set.

Don't know why. It happens.

-I'm still trying to get my head around you knowing Sidney Lumet.

Not to mention your acting skills.

-I'm multi-talented.

Take a note of that, Orla.

-Jim told you the truth.

I was planning to quit.

Danny had become unbearable, and his hiring Crystal?

It was the last straw.

He did it without even consulting me.

-And you, Nina?

-I threatened to leave.

Danny was telling Geraldine what to write,

and, well, I was out of his favor.

Jason was fed up too.

I don't think he could afford to quit but, uh...

he was certainly sick of Danny.

Crystal was getting more screen time than any of us.

-But why?

She is shockingly bad!

-We all know why she was hired.

-More wine?

-Look, I am just trying to do my job, right?

I was hired to find Danny's killer, and...

[ Sighs ]

Jim is keeping things from us.

-That doesn't excuse breaking and entering, son.

-He gave us an all-access pass!

Okay, not literally, but...

If we don't find the killer,

the show's going to stay off air,

and you said that you were worried about keeping your job,

didn't you?

-Yeah.

And I think you're right about Jim.

I've been considering him, you know.

-What do you mean?

-That day, right?

Everyone was staring at the monitors.

I was watching them.

Jim was with other people,

but what if they were all watching the monitors,

engrossed in the scene?

Maybe there's a way into the attic

from the back of the house or something?

-Wait.

You're saying you think Jim killed Danny?

-I dunno, son.

I just know that they were arguing lot before Danny died.

I saw it before on my last set, "Dublin Dolls."

The producer, the director going hammer and tongs,

but this was different.

They had a massive fight the day before Danny died.

-About what?

-I think it was about Ms. Carroll.

Crystal.

-Crystal screwed Danny to get the role.

-Ah.

-That "little girl lost" role she plays in real life?

That's as good as her acting gets.

-I completely agree.

-I'm starting to think that you watch this show

more than you let on, Orla.

-I'm only just going on what I've heard.

Like, you know, when Crystal started in her role,

she was only a bit part

and then she turned up in the coffee shop

as an extra where Yvonne gets her non-fat latte

with caramel drizzle every day.

-Oh, my God, you're a super fan.

-[ Laughs ] -I...

I like might turn it on the odd time to switch off from reality.

-Most do.

-But that storyline...

Jack sleeping with his daughter!

-Well, there was a twist...

-Oh, do tell!

-She's not his daughter.

Yvonne and Sylvia were going to be in on it together.

Yvonne hired Sylvia as a honey trap

to get revenge for Jack's philandering

and then take all his money.

-Oh, that's so good!

I would never have thought of that!

I would've had Sylvia as the daughter of this woman

that Jack and Yvonne had killed years before,

coming back to take revenge on them both.

Or -- Or...

She's the real mother of the baby,

and we find out that the baby is adopted

and she's trying to get it back by tricking Jack

into marrying her!

-What did you say you do?

-I'm an act...ual assistant.

-Well, you should be a writer.

-Didn't you say that Yvonne was going to be

in on it with Sylvia?

Have you changed your mind about the storyline?

-I didn't change my mind. -[ Sighs ]

He did this to her all the time. -Ohh.

-Danny told me that he would write the next day's scene.

-And he told me that Crystal wouldn't have to go to makeup.

-What does that mean?

-He was going to kill Sylvia off.

That's it, isn't it?

-Did Crystal know?

-Well, how could she?

He planned to write the scene the night he died.

??

-We know Danny planned to kill off Sylvia off, Jim.

Why didn't you tell us?

-Well, I didn't think it was important,

given that he never got to write the scene.

-But why get rid of the actor if he was the one who hired her?

-Because he knew she'd become a problem.

He was trying to save his job.

You see, Geraldine's scripts kept Sylvia around for weeks.

But that night, Danny was going to write a scene

where Jack reacts to finding out she's his daughter,

goes mad and strangles Sylvia.

To be honest, it seemed like a great idea.

-Didn't you think Crystal might want Danny dead

before he wrote that scene?

-Well, Crystal was on camera all the time.

Listen, guys, the only people that we're absolutely clear

didn't kill Danny were the actors on camera.

Everybody was watching them.

I mean, okay, Crystal would have been upset,

but she knew the drill.

They wound up her storyline on "Dolls"

after she'd been on it for a few months.

She didn't kill that director!

-She worked on "Dublin Dolls"?

-Everybody was watching the actors, Fergus.

I have an idea. We're going to need to prove it.

In the storyline about the affair,

how does Yvonne find out that Jack is sleeping with Sylvia?

I mean, I know it's a ruse,

but surely you had to show her finding out somehow,

to keep the audience in suspense.

-[ Chuckles ] Of course.

It's the classic trope.

Yvonne planted cameras all over the house:

in the baby's room, that kind of thing.

-Let's get Vicky and Jordan on standby.

??

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-Ooh!

It's a bit crowded in here, isn't it?

I'm so happy we're rehearsing again.

-Rehearsing what, though?

I mean, where are the scripts, Geraldine?

-Well, this is a very special rehearsal, guys.

-Do I know you? -Yeah.

You gave me two hours of work

and then you pissed off for an afternoon.

-Wait, are we rehearsing or not?

-Not just now, Nina.

Everybody, umm...

Harry and Fergus are here to tell us

who killed Danny Phelan.

-But first we should tell you why he was killed.

Now, Danny was murdered because he was going to be killing off

Sylvia in the next day's scenes.

-What? That's a lie!

Danny loved Sylvia.

He loved me!

-Danny wasn't a great guy, Crystal,

and he didn't think you were a very good actress.

-How dare you! -[ Laughing ]

My God.

The bastard. He used me.

-You weren't the only one here who had reason to hate Danny.

But the person he upset the most

is the person who is madly in love with you.

-Crystal, your stalker.

??

-You've lost your mind.

Frank has been giving me security tips.

-Yeah, funny how he knew every way that your stalker

was stalking you: going through your bins,

snatching things off your line...

and he worked on your last show with you, didn't he?

"Dublin Dolls"?

-And when you left there and you came here,

he was right on your tail.

All he had to do was to organize a little accident

for the last security guard.

-You're wrong.

I told Frank the security guard here had an accident.

I told him there was a job going.

He'd always taken care of me on "Dolls."

-This is insanity.

How the hell do you reckon I killed Danny

when I was outside watching everyone?

-You were watching them, Frank.

They weren't watching you.

-You heard Jim and Danny arguing the night before

and you knew that Sylvia was going to be killed off

the following day in a Danny script.

-This... You're crazy, the lot of you.

I would never do this, Crystal.

You know that.

-Of course, there was no way of proving it...

-Except the killer came through the attic door

in front of the baby's room.

And Yvonne...

...planted a camera

in that room to catch Jack and Sylvia kissing.

-This was in the baby room.

Frank, you were on camera.

And the camera doesn't lie.

-It was all for you, darling.

Don't you see?

That bastard had no idea how talented you are.

None of them do.

I killed him and I'd kill anyone here who hurt you.

??

[ Police radio chatter ]

-We have witnesses to his confession

but unfortunately no actual camera footage.

-Yeah, we bluffed.

The producers didn't use real cameras.

-Hm. Nicely played.

[ Police radio chatter ]

??

??

-I'm not saying I'm unhappy it was solved,

I'm just saying Vicky and Jordan would have got there.

They'd already realized the last security guard's brakes

had been tampered with and Jordan realized

Frank and Crystal had worked on the same show.

-Oh, we can go home now, Fergus.

The Guards have got this now.

-Do you always have to be so smug?

-Only when I'm right.

Which is all of the time so yes, I suppose so.

[ Laughter ]

-So, are they going to kill off Sylvia or not?

-We're sworn to secrecy, Orla.

No spoilers.

-Why are you so interested?

-It's for the PTA, isn't it, Orla?

-May I present the finest wine from our cellar.

It has notes of tobacco, orange peel, dandelion and...

shoe leather, I think.

-Sounds delightful, Glenn, but we didn't order it.

-Oh, no, it's from the gentleman at the bar over there.

-Oh.

-Isn't he the Jehovah's Witness you were talking to?

-Jehovah's Witness?

-Nah, they don't drink.

-Ah, maybe that's why he's sending me his wine.

-Is that your boyfriend, Granny?

-Course he's not! That guy is --

-Is not my boyfriend.

Women my age don't have boyfriends.

-Quite right.

-We have lovers.

-Ah.

-And he's not one of them.

??

??

-Oh, you don't have to talk to me.

Please, enjoy the wine, and I hope if we meet again,

that you'll think better of me.

-We'll see.

And he didn't drown in the car.

That's just where they found him.

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