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1
00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:34,730
Good evening,
interns, patients
and curiosity seekers.
2
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:39,900
One of the marvels
of television is
its educational value.
3
00:00:39,930 --> 00:00:43,340
A few years ago,
only a handful of people
4
00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:47,710
could have witnessed this rare
and delicate operation.
5
00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:52,080
Now, because of television,
millions may witness
this event,
6
00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:54,980
including the subject herself,
7
00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:59,920
for we are going
to present her with a film
of tonight's proceedings
8
00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:02,190
together with a projector,
9
00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:05,860
to say nothing
of a beautiful charm bracelet.
10
00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:10,200
Each charm to represent
a phase of the operation
11
00:01:10,230 --> 00:01:14,140
with replicas
of each organ removed.
12
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,970
Incidentally,
we call our program
13
00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:20,480
"This is your..."
a sentence we don't finish
14
00:01:20,510 --> 00:01:23,580
until we see
how the operation turns out.
15
00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:26,720
And now, gentlemen,
you may make the incision.
16
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,860
Uh, stop.
This is a dramatization.
17
00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:49,740
Uh, just a moment.
Uh, just a moment.
We forgot the anesthetic.
18
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:53,880
However, I have something here
that will put anyone to sleep
19
00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:55,880
in just 60 seconds.
20
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,490
This is a new account, Piper.
21
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,560
I want you to see that
it's given every courtesy.
22
00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:44,590
Why certainly, sir.
23
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,560
Is everything all right?
24
00:02:46,590 --> 00:02:48,430
All right, sir?
25
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,900
Oh, you mean in the office.
Oh, yes, sir, perfectly.
26
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:54,240
The counter business
a little slack, but then
it usually is about now.
27
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,200
Well, that needn't affect
our general morale, need it?
28
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,270
Oh, it certainly
need not, sir.
29
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,510
I think everyone's
working at tempo.
30
00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:04,050
If not allegro, then
certainly sostenuto, as we
musically minded might put it.
31
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,210
(MILLIE LAUGHS)
32
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,750
(DRAWER CLOSES)
33
00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:10,850
Yes.
34
00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:26,300
(CLICKING TONGUE)
35
00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:28,770
I'm surprised at you,
Miss Manners.
36
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,640
You're gonna get me fired.
37
00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:33,070
That's the last thing
I'd want.
38
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:35,510
Don't forget
our luncheon date.
12:00 sharp.
39
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:36,780
Oh, but...
40
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,420
Mr. Piper?
41
00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:47,620
Good morning, Mr. Manett.
42
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:48,820
Good morning.
43
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,230
The usual 50s?
That's right.
44
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,560
Make it used ones
this time, will you?
45
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,370
Last time you gave me
new bills, they kept
sticking together all night.
46
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,900
I found myself putting
more than I wanted to
into the pot.
47
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,710
Pot?
Yeah.
48
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,170
You know, poker.
49
00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:08,040
Oh, so you're
a gambler, Mr. Manett?
50
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,210
Well, only technically.
51
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,780
Gamblers are guys
who think money talks.
52
00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:15,480
Poker players listen
to the cards.
53
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,190
I make a living
playing the cards
against the gamblers.
54
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:22,060
Now don't tell me you're
against gambling, Mr. Piper.
55
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:24,060
Oh, by no means.
56
00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:26,860
As long as it's within
one's means, of course.
57
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,060
Well, I figure
it's the way you're made.
58
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:33,300
With some people
it's sport, you know,
like golf or anything else.
59
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:36,140
Me, I got to exercise
the old cranium.
60
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:38,970
Pretty strenuous exercise
it is, too.
61
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,580
You got to train for it
like any other exercise.
62
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:46,280
See, one of the secrets
of my success is training,
Mr. Piper.
63
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:48,120
Is that so?
64
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:50,520
Most guys
I do business with drink.
65
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:52,420
I don't.
66
00:04:52,450 --> 00:04:55,890
Before I get in a game,
I go home and sleep.
67
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,290
By the time the other guys
can't tell the treys
from the aces,
68
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:01,330
I'm still alive
and sandbagging them.
69
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,030
Mr. Manett, forgive me.
70
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:05,500
I don't know if you're
aware of it, but we have
a new manager in the branch.
71
00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:07,800
Oh.
72
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,640
And, well,
you know the old saying
about new brooms?
73
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,340
Oh, sure, I get you.
74
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,580
I suggest if you want
to keep your account
in this bank,
75
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:19,050
you'd better not discuss your
profession quite so loudly.
76
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,950
Oh, I forgot.
77
00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:23,450
Might get the place
a bad name, huh?
78
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,920
Thanks, Mr. Piper.
79
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:35,960
Miss Manners.
80
00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:37,400
Oh, yes, Mr. Farnsworth.
81
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:40,270
Would you file these,
please, put them in the vault?
82
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:41,370
Yes, thank you.
83
00:05:45,510 --> 00:05:46,980
All set? Let's go.
84
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,910
I can't possibly, Mr. Piper.
85
00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:53,550
Mr. Farnsworth just gave me
these bonds I have to file
and return them to the vault.
86
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:56,690
But we'll miss our table.
Can't you do it after lunch?
87
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,490
I daren't leave them
just lying around.
88
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,060
Oh, is that all?
89
00:06:02,490 --> 00:06:04,690
Oh, Mr. Piper.
90
00:06:11,630 --> 00:06:13,440
There we are.
Safe as Fort Knox.
91
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,810
Well?
92
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,370
Well, okay.
93
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,050
No more, Mr. Piper, really.
94
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,690
The name is George.
95
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,060
That's very nice of you,
but all the same,
I think if you don't mind
96
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,920
I'll just keep it Mr. Piper.
97
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,160
Tell me, my dear,
what's wrong?
98
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,300
Wrong?
99
00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:43,430
Yes, what have you got
against me?
100
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,130
Nothing.
101
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:46,430
That is...
102
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:49,540
Nothing.
103
00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:51,770
I'm too old for you,
is that it?
104
00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:56,540
I don't know how old you are.
105
00:06:56,580 --> 00:07:00,380
Well, let's say you'd like me
better if I was younger.
106
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,750
It's not a matter
of likes or dislikes.
107
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,090
May I be honest?
108
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,690
Isn't that what I'm asking?
109
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,030
Well, a girl has to look out
for herself, doesn't she?
110
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:17,030
And not that I listen
to gossip,
111
00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:20,200
but from what I hear,
I'm not the first girl you've
asked out from the bank.
112
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,540
And if what they say is true,
it never comes to anything.
113
00:07:23,570 --> 00:07:25,740
Not that it has to,
of course,
114
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:28,240
but with younger men,
there's always a chance
that it may become serious,
115
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,550
whereas, as everyone says...
116
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:33,650
Who is this everyone
you keep referring to?
117
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,580
Well, the girls at the bank.
118
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:39,090
I see.
119
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,860
Well, you can't expect them
not to talk, can you?
120
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:47,230
Well, as I said,
with a younger man,
there's always a chance
121
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,360
they may be willing
to take a gamble.
122
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,630
But when you're older...
My dear,
123
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:55,740
I don't think anyone's ever
been able to reproach me
with being afraid of a gamble.
124
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:57,540
As a matter of fact...
Well, look who's here.
125
00:07:57,570 --> 00:08:00,510
George, you old so and so,
what are you doing here?
126
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:04,650
This is my brother.
Miss Manners, a fellow
employee at the bank.
127
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,080
Oh, how very nice.
Hello.
128
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,920
Must be very pleasant having
someone as agreeable as you
around all day, Miss Manners.
129
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,350
Fred.
130
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,250
Oh, George, I been wanting
to get hold of you.
131
00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:15,460
Got a proposition
that might interest you.
132
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:18,390
Tell you what, I'll give you
a call sometime this evening.
133
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,830
Nice meeting you,
Miss Manners.
Thank you.
134
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:23,530
(SLOW INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
135
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,030
(CHUCKLING)
136
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:27,940
Yes, then we can have dinner
and take in a picture.
137
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,310
Oh, you can't, huh?
138
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,680
Well, maybe you could stop in
for a drink anyway.
139
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,040
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
140
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,910
Just a second, Barbara.
141
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,580
Who is it?
142
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,580
It's me, Fred.
143
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:43,050
Come on in.
144
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,390
You'll have to excuse me,
Barbara. I'll call you later.
145
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:48,960
Mmm-hmm.
146
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:50,590
Bye, my dear.
147
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,360
You certainly live it up.
148
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,800
Well, I hope
you're not gonna be long.
I have a date this evening.
149
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,070
Most every other evening,
eh, Georgie Boy?
150
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,470
You certainly know
how to pick 'em.
151
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,500
That was quite a doll you were
having lunch with today.
152
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,240
May I?
153
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:06,440
What do you want
to see me about?
154
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:09,910
George, have you ever thought
about what's gonna happen
to you in a few years' time?
155
00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:11,750
You're gonna be on the shelf,
156
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:14,120
pensioned off,
given the old buzaroo.
157
00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:16,650
And on what? Half your basic?
158
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,420
Things aren't gonna get
any cheaper.
159
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:21,420
You aren't gonna stop wanting
what you've always had.
160
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,190
And what you want
isn't going to get cheaper.
161
00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:26,390
Food, wine, girls.
Particularly girls.
162
00:09:26,430 --> 00:09:28,300
(MUSIC STOPS)
163
00:09:28,330 --> 00:09:31,300
Pardon my vulgarity,
dear boy.
164
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:36,840
No. No, I won't pardon it.
You are vulgar.
Disgustingly vulgar!
165
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:40,910
Do you think I haven't faced
the problem of retirement,
of old age?
166
00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:43,750
I'd give anything not to have
to face it. But don't worry,
I'll find a way.
167
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,280
That's my boy.
That's my Georgie Boy.
168
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,550
I always said
you had it in you.
169
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,120
Oh, shut up.
170
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:50,090
No, no, I mean it.
You may not have been
in the dough,
171
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,520
but you've always lived
like you were.
172
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,860
And what you've had,
they can't take away from you.
173
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,530
As for what's to come,
well, that's what
I want to talk to you about.
174
00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,000
What you need right now
is the kind of investment
that'll bring you in
175
00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:03,330
that extra bit of cash
to make things easier
for you when the...
176
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,000
Okay, okay,
put it any way you like,
177
00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:07,840
but what you need
is additional income.
Am I right?
178
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,740
Well, boy, I've got
the very thing right here.
179
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,610
As nice a little proposition
as ever I've had to deal with.
180
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,740
Now, really, Fred.
181
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,050
No, no, this is solid.
182
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,410
Look, I've got the figures
right here to prove it.
183
00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,980
All that's wrong is that
it's been run into the ground
through sheer incompetence.
184
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,220
Now here, look.
Just take a look at that.
185
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,660
(CHUCKLES)
186
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:32,390
I can't believe it.
187
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:35,530
How anyone could have let
a fine business
like this run down.
188
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,530
His old man built up this
business. Now all he thinks
he has to do is milk it.
189
00:10:39,570 --> 00:10:41,740
And, boy, has he milked it.
190
00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:44,570
Not that it couldn't be put
back on its feet again.
And that's where we come in.
191
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:48,740
Right now, a 50-50 share
would cost us only $10,000.
192
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:51,010
$10,000?
He'd soon run that
into the ground.
193
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,010
Then we'll be able to take
over the whole shebang.
194
00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:55,280
Just a little maneuvering.
195
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,590
And how much of the $10,000
are you prepared to put up?
196
00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:00,460
Oh, come on, now, George.
You know how I'm fixed.
197
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:02,520
But you must have a nice
little nest egg stowed away.
198
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,290
Must I?
Sure.
199
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,700
And if not, well,
there are ways and means.
200
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:10,900
I mean, a man in your position
with all that ready cash
at your disposal.
201
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:13,740
Are you by any chance
suggesting that I embezzle
the bank's money?
202
00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,170
Don't tell me
you've never thought of it.
203
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,110
Of course, I've thought of it.
204
00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:19,570
I'm sure a great many tellers
have weighed their chances.
205
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:21,940
And not one who hasn't had
the sense to realize
that he hasn't got a chance.
206
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,750
Okay, okay.
207
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,980
Personally,
I'd rather take a chance
on a straightforward holdup
208
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,920
than try to bamboozle
the bank examiners.
209
00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,820
There isn't a trick
those babies aren't down to.
210
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:31,590
All right, forget it.
211
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:32,920
Embezzlement.
212
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:34,390
(LAUGHING) No.
213
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:37,990
Really, my dear Freddy,
why not blackmail?
214
00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:41,260
As a matter of fact,
blackmail is far and away the
safest form of crime there is,
215
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,130
provided, of course, one takes
reasonable precautions.
216
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,770
You'd make
a pretty good blackmailer.
217
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,970
Don't be impertinent.
218
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:52,110
All the same, I fancy
I have certain qualities
that might have proved useful,
219
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:55,780
had I chosen to embark
on a life of crime.
220
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,910
But blackmail...
No, I don't think so.
I haven't the patience.
221
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:01,620
You know, that's my greatest
weakness, impatience.
222
00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:04,190
Something more immediate,
more dramatic.
223
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:06,190
A murder, for instance.
224
00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,560
Yes, why not?
Given the right subject.
225
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:13,230
Now, this client I was
telling you about, perfect.
226
00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:16,500
Mixes in questionable circles.
227
00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:21,100
Known to go around
at night with quite large sums
of money on him.
228
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:24,210
No one likely to be
seriously upset by his death.
229
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:28,080
Well, in every way
a suitable victim. Now,
230
00:12:28,110 --> 00:12:31,180
all that remains is to choose
the time when he has
the required amount on him,
231
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:35,520
and to dispose
of the money in such a way
that it could never be traced.
232
00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:38,090
Swallow it, for instance.
233
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,690
You know what I would do
in my position?
234
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,860
I'd rent a safety deposit box
at a suburban bank.
235
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,790
Under a phony name,
of course.
236
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:49,630
Good point. You're learning.
237
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:52,670
But I might not be able
to put the money into the box
for a few days.
238
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,170
So until that time...
239
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,270
You'd put it in a sock
and hide it in your dresser?
240
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,440
No.
241
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:02,080
No, I'd put it where
they'd never think to look,
242
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,050
where it would become
utterly invisible.
243
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,180
And where would that be,
Houdini?
244
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,450
You tell me.
245
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:15,220
Well, I will
as soon as it comes off.
246
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:19,630
In the meantime, you don't
mind if I look somewhere else
for the money, do you?
247
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:21,400
Hmm, Georgie Boy?
248
00:13:48,090 --> 00:13:49,560
There you are, sir.
249
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,300
Good afternoon.
250
00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:56,100
Mr. Piper.
251
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:05,240
I'm afraid that'll only leave
a couple of 100 or so
in the account.
252
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:12,780
$246.38.
253
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,120
Hey, that's all right.
254
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,650
Have you got all your accounts
figured like that?
255
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:17,920
No, no.
256
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:23,590
I'm afraid I'll have to go
to the vault for this.
It's quite a large amount.
257
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:28,100
The usual fifties.
Hey, why don't you rub it
a little for luck, huh?
258
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:31,070
Some of it may rub off on you.
259
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,870
I hope so, Mr. Manett.
I certainly hope so.
260
00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:42,540
Fred, where have you been?
It's I, George.
261
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:48,280
Fred, you remember
that business proposition
you talked to me about?
262
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,320
Yes, well, is it still open?
263
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:54,360
Well, I'm expecting
a little windfall, and I...
264
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:57,630
Gambling?
Yes, in a sort of way.
265
00:14:57,660 --> 00:15:00,130
I just wanted to know
if it was still open.
266
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:03,370
Good. Good,
then I'll let you know.
267
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,300
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
268
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:14,110
Good evening, Mr. Manett.
269
00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:15,640
Well, good to see you,
Mr. Piper.
270
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,780
Not so loud, please.
271
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:20,450
You know how it is
with the bank.
I shouldn't be here at all.
272
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,380
Oh, yeah, Mr. New Broom.
Come on in.
273
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:28,220
Now, what's this all about?
274
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,330
Well, I think I overpaid you
this afternoon.
275
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,860
I mean, I'm short
on my cash tally
276
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,300
and the bank examiners are due
first thing Monday morning.
277
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,400
Well, let's just count
and see, huh?
278
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:40,770
Fix yourself a drink.
279
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,070
Thanks.
280
00:16:56,780 --> 00:17:00,020
Say, you sound pretty chirpy
for a Monday morning, Mr. P.
281
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:01,880
Come into a fortune
or something?
282
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,220
Or something.
283
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:05,720
MILLIE: Good morning,
Mr. Martinson.
284
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,120
MARTINSON: Good morning.
285
00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:30,210
Good morning, my dear.
286
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,050
Good morning, Mr. Piper.
287
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,880
How about lunch today?
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
288
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,120
Now, now, I won't take no
for an answer.
289
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,830
Millie, there's something
very important
that I have to ask you.
290
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,730
Very important.
291
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,430
Look, Mr...
292
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,800
The boss wants you.
Sounds important.
293
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,070
What's the matter, Mr. Piper?
Nothing serious, I hope.
294
00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:00,640
Serious?
295
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,040
Well, you look so strange.
296
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,820
Oh, it's... It's the thought
of what I have to ask you.
Until lunch, then.
297
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:10,350
Or, as they say in Italy,
arrivederci.
298
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,890
I just can't believe it.
I mean that it should be
one of our accounts.
299
00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:19,890
Oh, come in, Piper.
300
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:25,500
Piper, this is Sergeant
Henderson from the police.
301
00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:27,700
How do you do?
302
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:30,040
It seems that one of our
depositors has been murdered.
303
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,870
Yes, I read it in the paper.
304
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,450
The name stood out
because Mr. Manett always came
to my station.
305
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,780
I was just about to come
and tell you about it
when you sent for me.
306
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,450
Well, go on, Sergeant.
307
00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:48,890
What we found was
a checkbook on this bank.
308
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:52,490
The last stub in it showed
a check to be cashed
for $15,000.
309
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:54,300
The money wasn't
in the apartment.
310
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:57,370
Yes, sir. He cashed
a check for that amount
Friday afternoon.
311
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,540
I gave it to him in 50s.
There's only 100 or so
left in the account.
312
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,740
Good. You have
the serial numbers?
313
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:05,010
No, we don't
usually note them.
314
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,510
Well, at least we can
establish that he left here
Friday afternoon
315
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:12,550
with $15,000 in cash on him.
316
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:15,750
As of now, you're the only one
who knew he had it.
317
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:19,150
Well, I could hardly be
expected not to know, could I?
318
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:20,860
I also know
of several other depositors
319
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:23,530
who left the bank with large
amounts of cash on them.
320
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,290
Okay, okay.
Now, just for the record,
where were you Friday night,
321
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,030
say between 5:00 p.m.
and 10:00?
322
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,170
In my apartment, reading.
323
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,030
Piper here has been
with the bank
for more than 30 years.
324
00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:33,900
He has an impeccable record.
325
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,200
Of course, he knew
that this man had the money.
326
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,540
But if you're,
with the slightest chance,
327
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:39,570
suggesting that Piper here
might have done it,
328
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:42,280
would he have left
his checkbook there
to lead you here, Sergeant?
329
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:44,650
Don't get excited,
Mr. Farnsworth.
330
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,050
At Manett's apartment,
nobody saw anything,
nobody heard anything,
331
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:49,950
nobody left any fingerprints
that shouldn't be there.
332
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,190
Ballistics probably
can't trace the weapon.
333
00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:55,220
So Mr. Piper could have
done it just as well
as anyone else.
334
00:19:58,260 --> 00:19:59,630
Only he didn't.
335
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:01,500
Nobody whose been
a bank teller for 30 years
336
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:04,030
would leave himself
that wide open.
337
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,800
So we'll just have to go
about it in the usual way.
338
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:11,010
Pass the word around
and wait till somebody starts
flashing $50 bills.
339
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,040
Thanks for the information.
340
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:14,610
Don't mention it.
341
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,910
Sergeant, would it be
possible to avoid publicity
to the bank?
342
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:23,450
I'm sure there will be
some way that we can show
our appreciation.
343
00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:29,260
There wouldn't be any way you
could do that, Mr. Farnsworth.
344
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,200
This is bad, Piper.
This is very bad.
345
00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:41,570
We'll be blamed for having
accepted an account
from such a fellow.
346
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,040
But it was a good account,
Mr. Farnsworth.
347
00:20:43,070 --> 00:20:45,710
Not that good, Piper,
not that good.
348
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,680
And suppose
that detective reports
that I tried to bribe him.
349
00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:51,150
He won't. Besides,
they may never catch anyone.
350
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:53,820
In that case, we just
keep quiet and no one
need know anything about it.
351
00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:55,450
Don't be a fool, Piper.
352
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,490
You know perfectly that I have
to report this downtown.
353
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,560
And then I have
to try to explain
354
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:02,490
exactly why
we took this account.
355
00:21:03,790 --> 00:21:05,860
You may not know this, Piper,
356
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,560
but my name is being
considered for
a vice-presidency of the bank.
357
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,400
Now what do you think
will happen?
358
00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:14,240
Oh, come now, Mr. Farnsworth.
I'm sure you're making
a mountain out of a molehill.
359
00:21:14,270 --> 00:21:16,300
You think so? You think
they select vice presidents
360
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:19,240
from among branch managers
whose depositors get murdered?
361
00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:21,840
Even the way we carried it
will make it worse.
362
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,750
Green goods broker.
363
00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:25,450
Yes, but you could hardly
be expected to know
364
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,820
the kind of green goods,
Mr. Farnsworth.
365
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,190
(CHUCKLING)
366
00:21:30,220 --> 00:21:31,990
Look, they'll understand.
367
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,090
Understand nothing.
368
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:38,630
All they'll understand is
that I didn't know who
I was doing business with.
369
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:42,900
You said that he always came
to your station.
370
00:21:42,930 --> 00:21:45,100
Now, do you mean to tell me
that there was nothing
371
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,900
to give you an inkling
about Manett?
372
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:53,510
I ask you a question,
I expect you to answer!
373
00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:58,750
Well, perhaps Mr. Manett did
say things now and then that
may have made me suspicious.
374
00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:01,180
But it was a good account
on the books. It was helping
the branch standing.
375
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:04,050
And that was good for you,
Mr. Farnsworth.
376
00:22:04,050 --> 00:22:07,420
If I did wrong in keeping my
suspicions to myself, I did it
with the best of intentions.
377
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,960
You know what the road to hell
is paved with, don't you?
378
00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:13,900
Mr. Farnsworth, I have had
over 30 years service
with this company.
379
00:22:13,930 --> 00:22:16,160
You just stated it was
an impeccable record.
380
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,070
I have never been
reprimanded.
381
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,870
If a reprimand is called for
in this case,
382
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:22,300
I will be ready to accept it
from those who've known me
much longer than you have.
383
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:24,140
What it boils down to is
384
00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:27,080
that you didn't report
an account about which
you were suspicious.
385
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,880
And now you're standing
on your record
386
00:22:28,910 --> 00:22:31,080
and claiming the right
to make one mistake, eh?
387
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:32,680
Well, I've got news for you.
388
00:22:32,710 --> 00:22:35,850
I have absolutely
nothing to lose and perhaps
a great deal to gain
389
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,590
by taking decisive action.
390
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:43,090
Send in Martinson,
will you, please?
391
00:22:44,690 --> 00:22:46,960
You, Piper, are fired.
392
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,560
You can't do that. My record.
393
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,930
I can't do that, huh?
We'll see about that.
Come in here.
394
00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:54,340
Yes, sir?
395
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,540
Martinson, as of this minute,
you take over as head teller.
396
00:23:02,310 --> 00:23:04,310
Very well,
I'll just count up...
397
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:05,350
No!
398
00:23:06,610 --> 00:23:08,350
You tally out Piper's cash.
399
00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:11,950
You heard what I said.
400
00:23:13,050 --> 00:23:15,160
Give him the key, Piper.
401
00:23:15,190 --> 00:23:17,060
The key, Piper, the key!
402
00:23:29,670 --> 00:23:34,340
I can now report
that the operation was
a huge success.
403
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:37,610
Our patient now has
what she wanted:
404
00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:42,450
perfect measurements,
36, 0, 36.
405
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,690
So much
for Operation Operation.
406
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,260
Now a word from you know who,
407
00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:51,230
after which
I shall toddle back.
408
00:23:54,830 --> 00:23:58,630
I'm sorry to say that
after further consideration,
409
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:03,200
the girl on whom
we operated became unhappy
with the results.
410
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:07,180
She learned that two cannot
live as cheaply as one.
411
00:24:07,210 --> 00:24:10,250
For one thing, she had to buy
a sidecar for her motorcycle.
412
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,380
Things like that.
413
00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:15,180
So while she's
pulling herself together,
414
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:18,750
I would like to say that
I shall be back next week
with another play.
415
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,490
Until then, good night.
33527
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