Original subtitles

♪ MTV... ♪

We moved towards Doan's Crossing and the Red River.

And tragedy's next opportunity to ravage what's left of us...

My mother says the pain will fade.

And the good memories will return.

I suppose that's true.

Every person on this planet will endure this pain

until they are the cause of it for another.

Someday, I'll die and shatter hearts, too.

But that is not today.

Today I am living and I'm the shattered.

Oughta try and hire a cowboy away from 'em.

And a cook.

Can't mess with an outfit's cook.

You steal their cattle and they wouldn't be madder.

I ain't looking for a gun fight this morning.

We'll hire a cook and a cowboy going the other way at Doan's.

How's she doing?

About how you'd expect.

You hungry?

No.

Where are you going?

I need some privacy.

Why do you need privacy?

I got my period.

Death is everywhere.

It follows us like a stray dog,

waiting to devour us like scraps.

The pain it causes is so acute, so complete...

It's hard to understand how it benefits us, as a species.

What purpose does pain serve?

I understand desire and fear...

And love...

And how they protect us and better our lives

and bring new life.

But grief...

If I weren't so consumed by it, it would baffle me.

I know how you feel.

A lot of people are gonna tell you that.

Whether it's the truth or not, I don't know.

But I know it's true when I say it.

I have sat right where you're sitting,

thinking the same thing.

Thinking I don't want to live without them.

Don't see the point.

Still do most days.

But here I am... living without them.

Why?

Well...

My reasons'd be different than yours.

I don't have anyone left who loves me.

You do.

I'll tell you a secret.

I'll tell you why I'm still sucking air today.

I'm headed to the ocean.

The ocean?

An Apache scout told me once...

that when you love somebody, you trade souls with them.

They get a piece of yours, and you get a piece of theirs.

But when your love dies...

A little piece of you dies with them.

That's why you hurt so bad.

But that little piece of him is still inside you.

And he can use your eyes to see the world.

So...

I'm taking my wife to the ocean...

And I'm gonna sit on the beach, and let her see it.

That was her dream.

Then I'm going to see her.

That's my dream.

In the meantime, the herd could sure use its cowgirl.

Where you going now?

Back to work.

Let's hold the herd up here.

Hold 'em up!

If you need something from the traders, I'll get it for you.

You stay here and keep them kids close.

There's as many thieves as traders out there.

My husband's things. I have to sell them.

Yes, ma'am, I'll get 'em sold.

Thank you.

Don't sell that shotgun.

- I don't know how to use it. - I can teach you to use it.

You're gonna need it.

I wonder if they got dairy cows.

Cause I'd like some milk.

Milk will spoil.

The way this damn wagon rattles,

milk will be butter in an afternoon.

Grab some more coffee too, would you?

Take John. I'd like to spend some time with Elsa.

All right, come on, son.

Here we go.

Don't let those traders swindle you.

I plan on doing the swindling.

I'll bet.

Ride with me.

Gotta watch the herd.

The first decent grass these cattle

have seen in a week.

The cattle will be fine.

Wade!

I'm gonna take her to the trading post.

Do you need anything?

Well...

I wouldn't be mad at a chocolate bar,

if they happen to have one.

If they have one, I'll buy it.

Much appreciated.

Come on.

What?

What!

You's what.

It's a free country.

I can look at whatever I want.

Judging by the way you're dressed, you don't mind it.

I mind it.

What are you going to do about it?

I like this one.

Let me see.

You've got expensive taste, boy.

James!

You gonna shoot me, little girl?

Goddam right I am.

It's harder to do than you think.

No, it ain't.

It comes real natural to me.

Look, we was just funnin' and she pulls iron.

I guess she wasn't having too much fun.

All right. All right.

Just... I put it down, okay?

I put it down.

James.

I don't wanna waste looking over my shoulder for you.

You won't find us if you do.

We's headed to Fort Worth.

Well, I'd be headed that way.

What is wrong with you?

Give it to me.

You don't point this at anyone unless you plan on using it.

I was gonna use it.

Go to camp, and you wait there!

Whoo! Pretty short fuse on that girl.

It's not long.

Some of them cowgirls is ranker than the cowboys.

Like they ain't never had a mother.

I'm her mother.

Would you like a lemonade?

I would not, thank you.

How bout a whiskey punch?

You look like you could use it.

Would you join me?

Sister, I been joining you since noon.

Ice.

My husband bought a block in Fort Worth in January.

Got the ice box down our well.

Hundred pound block will last till June

if we don't get in there much. - Mm.

This is the last of it

and I ain't letting one bit go to waste.

Sorry. Thank you.

Children can have that effect.

Mine sure did.

How was it?

Not worth going.

They never are.

Stars for a blanket.

Ground for a bed.

Good horse, open country.

That's all a cowboy needs.

Guess it's all a cowgirl needs too.

Oregon?

Yep.

Mmmm.

Once I get there how the hell am I supposed to get back?

We'll put your wagon and horses on a train

and send you wherever you want to go.

Why can't they cook for themselves?

Can't do much of nothing for themselves.

Which way you going?

We'll cut through South Pass,

Drop into Salt Lake, and head west from there.

You won't beat the winter.

We'll beat it.

What about beef?

Hmm? You got beef?

'Cause there ain't shit for game once you hit Kansas.

Fifty head.

What else you gonna do?

You buy the supplies

and I'm hundred fifty a month, plus the freight home.

Deal.

It's my chuck wagon, so it's my rules.

They eat what I cook.

If they don't like it they can complain to somebody else

'cause I don't wanna fucking hear it.

Your wagon, your rules.

Gonna cost about...

six hundred to stock up.

Why six hundred?

'Cause this is the last store 'fore we get to Wyoming.

What about Abilene?

God damn Abilene.

Hookers and killers is all you'll find there.

I ain't going near that sum bitch.

Mm-mmm.

Oh, Lord Jesus, be with me.

You know, there's going to be a school here next year.

Ten years there wasn't nothing,

not a soul in this country. - Mm.

And now there's gonna be a school.

That's progress.

I'm not even sure I know what that word means anymore.

Nobody does!

Miss Carol?

Miss Carol, I need to supply up!

Write down what you take. I'll be there in a minute.

Write down what you take?

All right!

Give you 35 dollars for all of it.

- I'll take it. - All right.

You want cash or you wanna trade?

Cash.

All right.

Pretty.

Uh-huh. From France.

What you doing with it?

Mister, if you ain't got money

and you ain't got beans or coffee

or a pot to boil it in, people will trade away anything.

Further away you get from concrete,

the more worthless those pretty things become.

How much for it?

- Fifty dollars. - Fifty dollars?

Ain't no damn concrete 'round here.

'Cause when I take it to the concrete it's worth 50.

Tell you what.

Here's 15.

Keep that 35 and we're even.

All the way to Oregon with them?

That's the plan.

Who taught 'em how to hitch a wagon?

These folks are a work in progress.

Well, I'd say you ain't there yet.

Nope.

You all have any trouble with bandits?

We had our share.

How'd they handle it?

They're here aren't they?

It's gonna get worse.

And once you get to Wyoming?

Every sorry bastard on this earth is hid out

in that son of a bitch.

And the Indians ain't as tame as the papers say they is.

So people keep telling me.

Look, Captain...

I been in my fair share of gunfights

and I ain't trying to get in another one.

I ju--I don't...

Hundred a month you say?

Yep.

How's the food?

If we can get Cookie hired it's the same food

you been eatin'.

I'll ride the trail with you.

Grab yourgear. Toss it in that second wagon.

Well, everything I own is strapped to this saddle.

I thought you was working with Swenson?

We're riding a herd up in March.

How are them rivers?

Rank.

How's Abilene?

Well, made it out with my wallet

which is better'd I can say for of my outfit.

You hiring on with us?

Yeah. Got nothing better to do.

What's her deal? She's pretty sporty.

She was paired up with Ennis till a Comanchero shot him.

She plugged that son of a bitch three times in the chest.

Ennis got killed?

Yeah, she won't be in the mood for you.

They're all in the mood for me.

Hi. My name's Colton. What's yours?

What do I call ya?

You don't.

Ennis was a friend of mine.

He was a good hand.

I'm sorry he's gone.

Me too.

If...if I can do anything...

let me know.

There's nothing to do.

Ma'am.

They was more than paired up.

She's in mourning like a damn widow.

She is a widow.

Girl...

You go looking for trouble, you gonna find it every time.

I wasn't looking for nuthin' and it still found me.

We should have a look at the river.

Take John to your mom.

She ain't back yet.

Hold him for me?

Don't make any sense.

Give me a minute.

Two, three...

Look at you!

Oh my God.

I've never seen that before.

Never seen it before!

Hey.

I gotta go study the river.

Margaret Study the river.

Can I trust you to stay here?

Yep. This long. As long as this is.

Awmo study the river... Oh no...

I think I'm in trouble but I don't care.

Whoa!

Damn.

They won't ever make it.

We'll run the cattle across first,

take the wagons over one-by-one.

And I mean us.

It'll take all day,

but we'll lose half of them if we let them emigrants do it.

How we getting them emigrants across?

That'll take all day, too.

- At least nobody drowns. - That's two days we don't have.

We should be in Kansas by now.

At some point they gotta learn to do things for themselves.

The only thing they're gonna learn crossing that

is how to die.

Don't think this is the place to try

and teach 'em something, Captain.

It's this to the Rockies, and then it's worse.

If they can't cross a fucking river,

how are they gonna cross the mountains

or the goddam desert we go through first?

Don't get mad.

We ain't gotta do what the farmer say.

If you wanna swim 'em across the river,

then we'll swim 'em across the river.

I'm mad 'cause he's right.

Wherever we're going it better be paradise...

'Cause it's costing us a daughter...

If you ask me, it's a shitty trade.

We ain't trading nuthin'.

She killed a man.

And she was about to kill another.

I look in her eyes

and the person staring back at me, I don't recognize.

I will never forgive you for this!

You don't forgive me?

I don't forgive me.

You didn't see the way he was looking at me.

Wouldn't matter if you did.

Men don't know how to read that look.

Only know how to give it.

I'm gonna tell you a story and you're gonna listen.

I think I've earned that right.

Hope I have.

I'll listen.

First man I killed...hm...

He was just a boy.

Younger than you.

The reason companies have flag bearers

is so soldiers know to stay with their group.

And generals on the hill

can track the progress of the battle.

So much dust and smoke in battle.

You're fighting in a fog.

It's hard to make out the enemy.

Can't tell your men from theirs.

But you can always look up and see the flags.

So, we shoot flag bearers first.

And I did.

That boy's face was burned into my brain.

The whole world seemed to stop

as this boy, he's looking right at me.

By the end of the battle, I...

I'd killed so many men.

I couldn't remember what that boy looked like.

Still can't.

That man you shot was already dead.

Whether we hanged him or he bled out,

his time on this earth was done.

You did not kill him.

Understand?

The meanest thing you can do to yourself

is hate somebody else.

I know what it feels like to hate the world.

You don't want to feel it, honey.

Be sad. Miss him.

Cry yourself blind.

But you leave the hating to me.

I got 35 dollars.

Wish it was more, but it was fair.

There's stew in the pot if you're hungry.

I am.

Where'd you find meat?

It's rabbit.

I figured out the shotgun.

Don't taste like rabbit.

- Mostly rabbit. - What else is it?

Rattlesnake.

Figured than one out, too.

Got you something.

Why would you buy me this?

Well...

If I looked like you, I...

figure I'd stare at myself...

every chance I got.

This is a present.

Yes, it is.

You won't marry me.

You won't love me,

but you will buy me gifts.

You're sad... and scared.

You have every right to be.

If I can give you something that makes you happy

and protect you...

Don't see the crime in it.

You want me happy.

Course I do.

You want me to feel safe.

Yes, ma'am.

That's love.

Me letting you take care of me is not fear.

It's loving you back.

Do I look scared to you?

I'm not the scared one.

You are.

I laid in the grass...

closed my eyes...

and I saw him.

Laughed at his goofy hair.

Felt the electricity of his touch.

I laid in the grass and I loved him.

Then I opened my eyes...

and I could see color again.

Ch-ch-ch-ch...

Hup hup!

Hup, hup... Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch...

Elsa.

What's that?

That's my name.

It'll come in handy to know it.

Don't bother flirting with me.

Why not?

You're too pretty for me. I prefer to be the pretty one.

Ch-ch-ch-ch...

Bet you prefer it too.

Ch-ch...

You drive my horse across the river,

I'll drive the wagon.

I am perfectly capable.

I ain't questioning what you're able to do.

There's three times as many things that can go wrong

in the water with that.

Now, you can not forgive me all you want.

Add this to your list of reasons.

But I ain't losing you to a river.

You're forgiven.

Good morning.

Mornin', ma'am.

No more "ma'am."

Noemi.

Good morning, Noemi.

Mornin'... Noemi.

The spring's back in your step, I see.

You're the only person who talked to me about him.

Thank you.

Shhh.

He don't like the water, huh?

He's excited. The water's his favorite part.

- Better let him at it then. - Okay.

Come on.

Come on, cow. Hup, hup, hup.

Get up, get up, ch-ch-ch...

Hup, hup, hup. Watch out, watch out.

Come on, cow. Hup, hup.

Let's bring 'em, boys.

We were leaving Texas.

Entering the Indian territory...

and redefining our meaning of unknown.

Far from the cities that have paved the world away,

and the farms which have tamed it into a resource.

We were no longer under the cloud of civilization.

Only sky above us now.

No more walking over bridges.

Out here, we swim horseback through rivers.

There is nowhere to chain love to vows and ceremony.

Out here love burns through you like a fever.

And when the devil comes to rip that love from you,

there is no funeral with somber speeches

that dull our senses and deaden our hearts.

Out here, you turn toward the pain

as it tears into you, and you let it.

When you do, the devil gets bored.

He seeks another soul to eat.

And you get to live again.