Original subtitles

Ripped By mstoll

♪ Happy days are here again

♪ The skies above are clear again

♪ Let us sing a song of cheer again

♪ Happy days are here again

How they can all stand it.

Well, it's different for them.

Oh, hell.

Well, you tell me, Kaiser, what would the Bard of Ayrshire say if he walked in here now?

A little stitching is all that is required, memsahib.

Stitching? We have seven hours to make ourselves faintly civilised.

Oh...

Monkeys. Every winter they are coming in. What can I do?

Today's the day, Kaiser. 107 for dinner. Summer's upon us whether we like it or not.

- And where is memsahib going? - Out! You've clearly got everything in hand.

And someone take old Army out of the sun or we'll be serving him on a spit.

♪ Happy days are here again

♪ The skies above are clear again

♪ Let us sing a song of cheer again

♪ Happy days are here again

♪ Altogether, shout it now

♪ There's no-one who can doubt it now

♪ So let's tell the world about it now

♪ Happy days are here again

Excuse me. Excuse me. Thank you.

Excuse me.

You wait. We'll be stuck here for hours now.

And then we'll miss our connection at Kalka and we'll never get home.

- Just like we nearly did last time. - They'll hold our train.

Oh, naturally. Cos that would require logic and forethought.

Sorry about all this. We'd just popped down for the weekend, hadn't we?

Yes. Annual meeting with the trustees of the orphanage.

- Yes? - We do so enjoy this time of year.

- All the best people will be up for the season. - And a few more besides.

Winter we've had, I feel as though I'm back from the dead, like Perse-phone.

I beg your pardon?

Perse-phone.

- From the legend. - Per-seph-on-e.

Isn't that what I just said?

Yes.

I wish they wouldn't always interrupt.

- No-one was interrupting. - Oh, well, I stand corrected. Again.

You'd think I'd be used to it by now, wouldn't you?

- I expect we'll be off again in a minute. - And what brings you to the summer capital?

Oh. Just visiting.

It's not quite decided yet.

- And will little man's papa be joining you? - I'm sorry?

Some dashing young subaltern. I can just see it, with your figure.

Would you all excuse me?

Look. She left her hat.

- I think you'd better go back inside. - Right.

What's going on?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

He needs a doctor right away.

Excuse me.

Douglas?

Where is he? Douglas? Douglas?

Home soon. Home soon. Home soon.

Sahib?

Hoi! Hoi!

Hoi!

Mr Whelan, sahib?

Everybody inside. Back indoors. Thank you.

What will you do?

Oh, as little as I can get away with, I expect.

I dare say.

- I just wish you weren't... - What?

So damn casual, old love.

Look around you, Ronnie.

What do you see?

No-one is hurt. Enemy has fled.

And that picture was an act of vandalism long before our friend with the red paint got hold of it.

I always rather liked it.

And I will see to it you get a copy. You can hang it in your bathroom.

Oh, shut up!

Look, whoever did this, we'll catch him, in our own way.

No need to raise one's voice at every damn trifle.

Understood.

Now... When did you get up here?

Just last night.

- Journey? - Oh, I feel 20 years young.

- Mr Whelan, sir! - Ah. Superintendent.

- Ah, Mr Keane. - Rowntree.

Forgive me, sir. Unpardonable delay.

I have a modest proposal.

Oh, er... one of mine, I'm afraid.

- Name? - Dalal, sir.

- What's that in your hand, Dalal? - Memorandum for the Mas Dam project, sir.

Yellow-flagged for urgent.

- Well, leave it with my Head Clerk. - Yes, sir.

I'm afraid we've had reports from the Chief Medical Officer

of a possible cholera incidence here in the hills.

As ever, these are almost certainly hearsay,

but we shall follow the usual emergency procedures -

a cordon sanitaire round the Indian quarter,

and everyone is to remain indoors while officers conduct a search.

So, any paperwork for signing, now's your chance.

Cholera?

Hey, bawaji, I thought you Parsis are the smart ones.

There is no cholera.

This is one of Mr Kindly Call Me God's little plots.

We send in the police. Quietly. No fuss.

For your protection. They want to catch the blighter with the pot of paint,

make an example of him.

Hey. I saw it.

- You damn liar. - I swear!

I was first on the scene, with the Private Secretary.

- And? - Inqilab Zindabad!

Right on her fat German nose!

You're funny, friend!

- Keep it contained. - You can count on me, sir.

Good man. Report back to me...

I see the unpacking is going smoothly.

Tomorrow it will be more auspicious.

You said that yesterday!

Aafrin! Thank God you're safe!

Ma, I lost my footing.

Clumsy boy!

- Er, safe from who? - From whom!

Cholera has come. Here in the bazaar everybody is saying...

- Who is "everybody"? - Mrs Gool.

- With the artificial eye? - That's Mrs Deepak.

Anyway, there's no point unpacking everything when we don't know what's happening, huh?

Just because a few Britishers are afraid of the sun,

why we all have to march up to the top of the hill like the Grand Old Duke of York?

- Because your brother... - I don't need you to defend me.

Your brother, the esteemed Junior Clerk, is compelled to come.

- He should say no. - Then what? Huh?

Your mummy is too old to beg in the street. Your sister is too pretty.

- And... - And your daddy is too blind.

So funny.

I am here to work.

To work? And why are they here?

- To rule. - To dance and forget.

- "Men say in the Plains below..." "That Simla people frivol. Be it so!"

Sham, I need some green thread.

What?

Aafrin, tell her I need some thread from the bazaar.

- Sham! - Fine!

This morning, there was an incident. Some vandal defaced a picture.

Really?

Slogans painted on the walls of Viceregal Lodge.

- Let us hope the Viceroy has learned to read. - You promised you'd stop this childishness!

Childishness? Look, chamcha. Read.

Gandhiji in jail. The whole of Congress Working Committee sentenced by emergency laws.

As soon as another committee is appointed, they are arrested.

Sooni, listen...

How many men and women are now in prison for daring to speak up for home rule?

- This is not relevant. - 70,000.

Sooni!

Look. What do you see?

- This cholera business... - There is no cholera.

The police are coming here... now.

What rubbish.

They will search every last dwelling until they catch the culprit.

What can they do?

Nothing.

Read your pamphlet. You think you are a special case?

You think the prison guards will feed you hot pau bhaji on your name day? Hm?

Can you wash it off?

- I tried. - Try harder.

No entry without fumigation! This is a regulation!

- Whose regulation? - This is our regulation!

Whose regulation? Whose bloody regulation?

Put this off!

What about these people? They're allowed to go in without fumigation? Huh?

Why are they allowed to go in, then?

Nonsense! Let me in!

Didn't I say? Didn't I tell him we'd miss our connection?

What are they doing?

Armitage! Look! That's me!

- You're in tea? - Oh, well, I am now.

- It's my uncle's business. - Your uncle? Stafford Armitage?

- Aye. Do you know him? - Yes.

- Do you? - Yes. Oh, well, we've never met.

But I've read all his letters.

- He's a bit of a legend, on my mother's side. - Yes, I can imagine.

It's not changed a bit.

I'm sorry, this isn't your first visit?

Miss Alice? Miss Alice?

- Blasted cheek. - You are Miss Alice?

Yes!

Well...

Get on, shall we?

Only three motor vehicles permitted in whole of Simla, memsahib.

So whose motor vehicle is this?

Viceroy's vehicle. Rolls-Royce Phantom.

All the way from Derbyshire.

Goodness.

Mr Whelan is like a son to the Lat Sahib.

I remember you. You used to pull my hair.

Sumitra!

Hello.

Please, memsahib. If it is convenient.

He's... not much good with strangers.

- Baby's name? - Percy.

I know the way.

Is she here?

Al?

Well, don't just stand there... like Christ Almighty.

What happened to my sister?

- Grew up, so I'm told. - Well, somebody should have warned me.

Come on, say something.

Well, it wouldn't do for everyone.

I didn't buy this house for everyone. I bought it for us.

Show off!

Not quite the reaction I was hoping for.

Well... I mean... Couldn't you have just rented it for the summer,

like everyone else does, like we used to?

No, if I did...

I want to know that we can always come back here.

This is our home, for as long as we like.

Anyway, I am very grand, for your information.

- Chotipool. - "Little flower".

Always hated that name. As you know damn well!

- Where's he put the damn? Bhupi? - Here, sahib!

Ah!

What do you think?

Congratulations? A picnic rug?

Ta-daah!

Well? Don't you recognise it?

I don't believe it. Where on earth did you...

Father's old place in Pune.

I happened to be passing through. When was it, Bhupi?

Two years back in April, sahib.

Two years in April. It was in the attic, looking very fed up.

- What was it we always used to... - Chandi, memsahib.

See? Even he remembers!

I thought my nephew might like to take him on.

Where is he, anyway?

I've made such a mess of everything.

Fair warning, Al. If I ever run into that so-called husband of yours, I'll give him such a thrashing.

Well, anyways, you won't.

Not if I can help it.

Sorry.

Don't be silly.

I just want everything to be perfect.

Hello, love.

Thank you. And tell him this is silk. Silk.

- Silk dress, memsahib. - No scrubby scrubby, see?

Fine silk material. Wash nicely, mem.

Small extra cost. Nothing to worry, memsahib.

- 30 years I have been washing. - Very nice.

Don't do that. Tell him.

It was a gift. From the Commissioner's wife.

Memsahib wishes to have tea on the lawn?

Um...

Oh, in the house.

No word, from my husband?

Memsahib?

Matthew! Inside.

- The doctor said he was poisoned. - We don't know that yet.

Why will you never just say it?

The moment the rains are late or the harvest is bad, or some other misfortune,

the elders take one look at the nearest half-caste child...

He is carrying a curse.

The curse is not the children.

The curse is blind ignorance.

And if you of all people will not say it...

All right.

Stop here, please.

What's your name, son?

Aap ka naam kya hai?

What's he saying?

He says he has no name.

Matthew! Come inside!

Let's...

Let's get him settled first.

- If you're... - Quite sure. Yes.

Chelo. Ride on.

Who is he, Baapi?

"I was hungry and you gave me meat.

I was sick, and?"

- "You visited me"? - "A stranger, you took me in."'

Inside. And be quiet. Come on.

Stop that!

Now put them on, quickly.

- Busy morning? - Chaos, Ma.

Every year, same story. Everything lost in transit.

By the way, you know that poor Hindu girl your sister used to go about with?

What was her name? Sita! Yes!

I believe she's about to be married off at last.

Poor fellow, whoever he is.

Of course, they'll have to raise a dowry the size of Kanjenjunga.

- Mrs Gool was saying... - Stop.

I swear to you, Aafrin, we're not going to endure another summer like the last one.

Now I dare say you feel you are very fond of that girl...

- I'm not fond of her, Ma. I love her! - No, you don't!

It can't be! Not just from our side.

What about the girl's family?

What about your father's health?

No, we'll find you a good wife, a good Parsi wife...

...from your own people,

not some Hindu churel.

Aafrin!

Aafrin!

Sita.

So you're not getting married?

It's just... Mrs Gool, my sister's old piano teacher said...

Mrs Gool can say what she likes.

Anyway, who would marry me?

What do you mean?

People talk.

It's all right.

I don't mind.

I am yours now.

And you are mine.

- See? - Good.

Tonight?

- Eight o'clock. - Captain Codrington?

All winter I've pined for the good Captain.

And he for you.

Do this side. Get out of his way.

Sooni?

Dear Charlie.

I promised myself I was going to write to you when I arrived, so here goes.

We are in India. Percy is in good health.

I can't begin to think how angry you are.

I beg you, don't come after us.

Your brother did not warn you?

- Eugene Mathers. - Alice Whelan.

I'm the house guest who can't take a hint.

Here.

I said, get ready.

I wouldn't be seen gardening in that outfit!

Oh, really? So what was it doing in your closet?

My sister Madeleine.

God knows we don't get to choose our families!

- Where are we going? - It's the first night of the season.

The Club. Where else?

- Alice. I'm Madeleine. - Yes.

She knows.

- You are even prettier than he said. - Who?

Your brother, of course.

Now, are we ready to go? Finally.

Thank you for taking the time. I wanted to tell you in person.

We have our vandal.

Well, that is good news. Do you have a name?

Yes, I have the details with me right here.

Hm... Hm.

- I don't know it means. What does it mean? - Nothing. It was nothing, sir.

- Who have you been talking to? - Talk?

Nobody.

Here we are.

- Dalal, was it? - Yes, sir.

How long have you been in the Service, Dalal?

Four... Almost four years, sir.

- High hopes? - Yes, sir.

At any rate, I should thank you for volunteering. This blasted memorandum.

On the Mas Dam project.

- Sir, the Mas Dam? - Yes, you gave it to my Head Clerk.

The Deputy Commissioner of Sind most particularly asked for it.

It must be here somewhere.

Would you get it over to me at the Club? Shall we say eight o'clock tonight?

Eight o'clock. Of course, sir.

Don't let me down.

Sir? The vandal. Did they find who did it?

Eight o'clock!

Sooni?

Memsahib. Everything is prepared.

Are you sure?

He would have been very proud.

Would he?

Right.

Let's get on with it, then.

Oh!

Where is she?

Is that her, do you think?

So you and your husband, I...

I gather from Ralph, you were let down?

- Let down... - There was another woman?

Yes.

- Forgive me for mentioning it... - But nothing oils the wheels like a scandal.

Yes. That much I do remember.

Right.

So, if we're going to play the widow card... Correct?

- That was the idea. ...you're going to need your wedding ring.

I left it behind. I wasn't thinking.

No matter. Here.

It's an old heirloom.

But it should keep the wolves away.

Thank you.

- Miss Mathers, are you coming up? - Wouldn't miss it for the world!

Come on.

Now, it's been a long hard winter.

Yes, without all of you here, where you belong.

And I can't honestly see myself lasting another one.

- That's what you said last year! - And the year before!

Louder, please! I'm deaf as a post!

- Marry me! - Oh! The wife not here?

Now, in the...

Oh, thank you, Kaiser.

In the words of my late husband, Captain Reggie of the 8th Gurkha Rifles,

to all of you strangers up for the first time, welcome.

And as for the rest of you...

...cheats, adulterers, slaves of Empire...

here to rule this great nation for another glorious six months...

Absolutely.

I want no moaning about my milk punch.

Roast beef in 30 minutes.

Now, somebody sing something. Not me, I'm too old.

Sing!

Your uncle will be very happy to see you, sahib.

Oh, I don't know about that.

- You are here to learn. - The ropes, aye.

And one day you will inherit his empire.

Oh, well, one step at a time, eh?

You are the male heir.

It's quite proper, sahib.

Oh, please. Ian.

This way, sahib.

In here? Are you sure?

Mista Army sahib?

Wakey-wakey.

He really is the most excellent fellow, mostly in the morning,

between the hours of nine and eleven.

Oh, Christ.

♪ Oh! Oh! Antonio!

♪ He's gone away

♪ Left me alone-ee-o

♪ All on my own-ee-o

♪ I want to meet him

♪ With his new sweetheart

♪ Then up will go Antonio and his ice-cream cart

- Hello. - Good evening.

What she means is, which one's Ralph Whelan?

Whelan? What's he done now?

- Why? Do you know him? - I wouldn't go that far.

Hello. What's all this?

- Ralph Whelan. - Oh! Just out on the veranda.

You can't miss him.

- Come on, Daph. And remember... - "Make the most of what you've got."

God help him. She'll eat him alive.

♪ Oh! Oh! Antonio!

♪ He's gone away...

In the library...

Excuse me.

♪ All on my own-ee-o

♪ I want to meet...

So, I... got your note.

I was beginning to think you'd never ask.

Kaiser gave you the message?

Right.

We appear to be locked in.

So, what?

It can't wait?

I was thinking Lazarus.

- For a name. - Ah...

We've got to call him something.

- Bit strong, is it? - Just a little.

Still feverish.

Pass me.

Adam.

All right.

Adam.

His mother's?

Mm, I suppose.

- Do you not think... - What?

Why that particular train?

Almost as if... we were meant to find him.

Well, when you said that he'd been poisoned on account of his mixed blood...

Curse. Yes.

Tell me to stop.

Is that what happened to you?

He is watching.

Forgive me.

Dougie!

You never said Ralph Whelan was your brother!

Private Secretary to Lord Willingdon himself. My golly, you must be proud.

Well, I haven't seen Ralphie in a long time.

Ralphie... And how old were you when you left India?

Do you mind my asking?

When I was sent back to England? No, I don't mind your asking.

I was eight.

- And "Ralphie" would have been... - Just 13.

And?

Boarding school, Frinton-on-Sea for the holidays with a great-aunt.

- How did you like it? - Not at all.

But your mother and father came on visits?

No. I never saw them again.

How is your husband?

Oh, what a pretty ring!

Will he be joining you? Your husband?

Oh... I see. Erm... no, I'm afraid not.

He passed away.

Oh, well, I am sorry to hear that.

Was it in your family or your husband's? The ring?

- Oh, no, it belonged to an aunt. - From Frinton-on-Sea?

No, a different one.

You know...

I have a fancy you and I are going to be the very best of friends.

Don't you think?

Uncle! Sir!

Oh, my. Don't look. Poor thing's come out without a pair of gloves to call her...

Are you all right? You look white as a sheet.

That... woman is wearing my dress. Excuse me.

- Excuse me. Where did you get that? - Oh, Christ.

She must have given it to the dhobi for washing.

What?

They have a little habit of sub-letting the best outfits for the weekend.

Get your hands off!

Ah, dinner! How jolly!

- You are on form tonight! - That was all your doing. Locking us in there.

Oh, come on, sweetie. It can't have been so unpleasant.

I don't want her or you trying to organise my affairs.

You listen, diddums. Listen.

I have an acquaintance who was party to a very interesting conversation in London last week.

Now, do you want to stand there with a face like a shire horse or do you want to hear it?

Go on.

They are drawing up a shortlist for the next Viceroy.

- Rubbish. We're another four years off. - And your name is on that list.

What?

Save the false modesty for the mirror and listen.

You are the one to beat.

You're young, you're the Viceroy's man,

your family's been over here since the Moghuls...

But... they say you're not steady.

- Steady? What does that even... - It doesn't matter what it means.

What matters is what the world sees.

And that young woman will do very nicely.

I know a chap on Broker Street, says the father got out before the crash.

Consequently he's worth half the steel in Illinois.

You could pay off the loan on the house,

and anyone can see the brother won't last the summer.

He won't stand in her way long.

Ask yourself, whoever heard of an eligible Viceroy?

- Hm. - Hm?

See? Told you I'd take care of you.

And so I shall.

Say "Thank you, Cynthia."

Roast beef and England.

Oh! Lucky girl.

Wash your hands before dinner, hm?

You had it all along.

You bastard.

♪ God Save The King

To the King Emperor!

Ladies and gentleman. The King Emperor!

The King Emperor!

- A message for you, sahib. - Another one?

We are having a busy evening. Excuse me.

I'll come.

I honestly don't know how you stuck it all those years at home.

You'll get used to it, when your time comes.

No.

I made myself a promise a long time ago.

I'm not going back. They'll have to kill me first.

- You'll stay the summer at least? - What will I do?

You are not allowed!

No, it's a British club.

Please, I have to speak to the Private Secretary.

Stand down, Vinod, that'll do.

- Dalal? - Letter, sir.

Awaiting your signature.

Hm...

- You found it all right? - Yes, sir. In the end.

Ralph Whelan!

- Ralph! - Ralphie sah!

Rakshas! Rakshas!

Help!

Help!

Just try and... try and stay awake.

You!

- What the hell? Are you hurt, Miss Whelan? - No, I'm not!

- Come away. - Leave me alone. Leave me alone!

- Let go of him! - I am not leaving until he gets help!

- Come quickly! - What's happened?

- He's been shot. - What?

Here we are. Flat on the back seat.

I cannot let him in without the permission of Lat Sahib.

- What? - He needs the Viceroy's permission.

He's more worried about his upholstery.

- He can't get in a rickshaw. It will kill him! - Ralph!

Look, I will take personal responsibility for the car. You have my word.

- All right? - Sahib.

- Put that blanket on the back seat. - I'm going with him.

You will do no such thing!

Come on! Hurry, hurry!

- Ripon Hospital, memsahib? - No. We'd like him to live.

The Army Hospital, please, in Jutogh. I know a chap.

Drive!

What's going on?

- Nobody talks to him! - Yes, sahib.

Where's the damned policeman?

- Thank you for doing this. - No need to thank me, dear.

- Nothing I wouldn't do for my Ralph. - He's lucky to have you.

You don't remember me, do you?

Pune, before the war?

Your daddy must've been a District Officer?

There was a panther, in the compound.

That's right. And Daddy shot the panther.

And you made such a fuss.

I hid. With cook.

Yeah. Silly girl.

Hid in cook's house all night long and your poor mother was so cross, she had to let him go.

Oh, well, it was all so very long ago.

I expect you're all grown-up now.

Don't... Please... Don't leave...

Look sharp!

- Memsahib, please, wait outside. - Oh, shut up.

Where's Monty?

Monty?

Monty?

His family.

A terrorist, sir.

A terrorist.

That's right.

Perfectly fine.

Oh, quite unscathed.

- Please! No, no, no.

Excuse me.

Thank you. I'll take them in.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This way.

The last time we spoke...

The things I said...

So stupid.

Hush, Ma.

If he dies...

Aafrin...

- Hungry? - I, er... keep it to myself.

- You don't think much of the food at the Club? - No.

Except the Yorkshire pud.

Naturally.

- You wanna be alone. - No, no. Stay. I, er...

You had a fright.

I spoke to the Viceroy, I was going to say.

How do you like my sister?

She seems erm...

...lost.

Let me take care of you.

Why are they always watching?

Hold on.

- What are you doing? - Wait and see.

Oh, my God!

You're nuts!

And don't you fret about my husband. He'll be up to far worse in his barracks.

Barracks? As in... barracks?

I'm so sorry.

- I couldn't just leave him there. - Who?

There was a boy on the railway line. Didn't you hear?

They were all there, asking after you.

I didn't know what to say.

I found this...

One of yours?

You're shivering.

I'd forgotten it was possible.

Ralphie?

Hm?

The man who tried to shoot you...

Did you know him?

Know him?

It's just... what he said.

- Rakshas. - Rakshas. Rakshas.

Rakshas.

My Hindustani may be rusty, but...

Demon?

Devil?

He was calling you devil.

Why would he do that?

I expect you misheard.

If you say so.

Ripped By mstoll