Original subtitles

[whistling]

Mmm.

[sighs] Good morning.

Hey, good morning.

My whistling didn't wake you up, did it?

[inhales sharply] No. Yeah, yeah.

- Oh. - But it's okay.

- It's a happy whistle. - Oh, yes.

Very happy whistle.

Happy to be back in this bed together with you.

Aw.

- You know... - Mmm.

...I almost forgot that you were in the bed last night.

And then you started snoring, and I was like,

-"Oh, there he is." [chuckles] - Here I am.

[chuckles] I think it's just gonna take us a minute to ease back in.

[knocking]

- Were you expecting anybody? - No.

So, let's just ignore it, stay in the bed and ease back in?

- Yes, please. - [chuckles]

[both groan]

[Giorgio] Dusty, Cassie, get down here!

[Nat] There's a surprise in your house!

[both] What the fuck?

- Look who it is! - [chuckles, gasps]

The newly reunited Mr. and Mrs. Big D Hubbard.

Oh, my gosh. You are glowing.

[chuckles] Nat, what-what are you doing here?

Did you guys just let yourselves in?

Sorry, D. I was knocking for what felt like a minute.

Oh... [stammers] ...we just couldn't wait. We wanted to be the first to tell you...

Cinque, sei, sette, otto!

♪ Happy, happy un-selfploration It's your special day ♪

♪ We're so glad that you are now A family today ♪

♪ From Giorgio And Natalie ♪

♪ Your best friends Forever ♪

♪ We brought you some coffee And some foods ♪

[pants]

What a delightfully jarring start to a day.

- [Cass] Yes, it's very sweet. - [Dusty] Mm-hmm.

- It's just maybe a little early... - Couple of hours.

- ...on a weekend. - Mmm.

Don't worry, Cassie. I'm paying these guys time and a half.

- Mm-hmm. - Do you wanna hear the song again?

Ah, I think we're good forever on the song.

- Cinque, sei, sette! - Gum!

[all] ♪ Happy, happy un-selfploration It's your special day ♪

[inhales deeply] Hey.

- Hey. - Do you need to borrow some underwear or...

No, I'm just looking through all your stuff.

- Mmm, cool, cool, cool. - [chuckles]

Yeah, that's exactly what I was hoping you'd be doing when I was sleeping.

Uh, did you find anything good?

Well, I found these Deerfest tickets that someone adorably labeled,

-"First date with Trina." - Mmm, yay.

[Trina chuckles]

- Remind me to never invite you over again. - I'm sleeping over all the time.

I still can't believe your parents said yes.

Well, technically I told them I was sleeping at Rita's so...

Oh, wow, so technically a lie.

The "Liar" returns.

Where'd you get this?

That's Kolton's card.

- Oh. - [sighs] Yeah, I found it in his wallet.

I guess he used the MORPHO when he went to Hana's old bar.

Were you going to tell me this or...

Sorry, yes.

I just kind of wanted to keep it for myself, you know?

- Hmm. - It's no talking toad, but...

You didn't look at it, did you?

No, why?

- Can I? - No.

I mean, if you want, but I wasn't going to.

I'd rather just imagine his potential

than be told, like, a specific thing he'll never get to be, you know?

It's more the possibility of everything this way.

- Hmm. - Sounds psycho doesn't it?

No, not psycho.

Writing "first date with Trina" on your Deerfest tickets is psycho.

Okay.

I like being here with you.

My house is so chaotic, and your house is so peaceful and calm.

[Beau] Are you kidding me?

[groans]

What's going on? Were you yelling at the game?

- What game? - I don't know, the sports game?

I was fired from the rink. Again.

- What? Why? - I don't know.

Trevor said I wasn't a crucial part of the team.

[sighs] Trevor fired you?

Fucking Trevor. He's such a tool.

It's fine.

I'll find something else.

I'm just gonna do my last shift, collect my paycheck

and maybe smell the ice one last time.

So tell us all about your selfploration.

What did you learn about life and love? Are you happier than ever?

Uh, I mean, what does it mean to be happy, really?

[clicks tongue] But to answer your question, yes.

- Yes, we are happier than ever. - Aw.

Would you agree, Cass?

- I would... I would agree. - Mmm.

Yeah, I feel like I-I've got so much out of our time apart, you know.

I... I... I stayed the night at a hotel by myself,

and I caught up on my reading.

Aw, lovely.

I reconnected with old friends. Um, I made a new friend.

[Giorgio] Good for you, Cassie.

And these are all things that you couldn't do when you were with Dusty?

[chuckles, stammers] I would...

I wouldn't say that I couldn't do it before. No, I... [stammers]

It's just kind of, like, I feel like our selfploration,

it made me think about what I wanted, you know?

Mmm.

Which, of course, is a reason why I rejoined the workforce.

So that I can make my own money.

And we are so lucky to have you in the famiglia.

- [mouthing words] Thank you. - I keep forgetting that you're a waitress.

Actually, it's upper management, so...

Oh, that's exciting.

Oh, wait till you see the float

that Cass and Giorgio have been putting together

for the Deercoming Parade. I mean...

That's right. Cassie's becoming my consigliere,

my assistant capitano.

- My eyes and ears and right hand. - [Nat chuckles]

Well, if you're gonna be acting as Giorgio's right hand,

you're gonna have your work cut out for you.

That was just a little frequent masturbation joke.

[laughs]

Anyway, uh, Dusty, you've accomplished a lot too.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- I rediscovered my love of astronomy. - You also dated someone.

[sighs, chuckles]

I'd only ever been with one woman.

- And now I've been with two. - Mmm.

Not sexually. Been with you sexually. But not...

And I birthed a shitload of puppies. Mmm.

- Come on. - Aw.

Yeah, he delivered... It was just two...

- Two puppies. Not a shitload. - That's right. Not a shitload.

It was chaotic though. [chuckles]

That's cool.

[clicks tongue] Huh, guess five and a half weeks isn't really a lot of time, is it?

Less than two months.

Wasn't it supposed to be six weeks?

It was supposed to be six weeks.

But we just, you know, we couldn't wait to get back to each other.

- So... [chuckles] - [Nat] Aw.

And what about Alice?

Did she cry when you broke the news to her, D,

or did she try to seduce you one last time?

[stammers] Well, I didn't really have to break the news to her

because there was no real news to break per se.

Sorry. [chuckles] I'm just trying to follow.

Are you still dating Alice?

No. God, no. [chuckles] No. No, of course...

No, I suppose what I meant when I said I was...

We were never officially dating.

So to break up officially would've been so silly.

So you haven't told her, Dusty?

When would I have told her? I've been with you the whole time.

Yeah, but you gotta tell her, D. Don't make me go over there myself.

Giorgio, no, she'll try to seduce you.

Babe, she would have zero effect on me.

No, I will go and tell her, you know.

Feels like at this stage, she's probably intuited that it's over.

Bu... I'll tell her. I will tell her.

Hey! Stop with the bullshit, Trevor!

[grunts]

Wow, coming in real hot, which is not what we discussed outside.

But hey, Trevor.

How's it going?

I'm faring well.

Other than almost being assaulted while reading.

You weren't reading. You were on your phone, you pretentious show pony.

Okay, let's just not do this.

Trevor, I'm sorry I didn't reply to your text, man.

Oh, didn't you?

[clicks tongue] Well, I guess that was a bit puerile.

[chuckles] Wow, look who just learned the word "puerile."

Okay, but you didn't need to fire my dad about it.

- [Trina] Yeah. - Jacob,

firing your dad had nothing to do with you.

He's been breaking into the rink every morning.

- What? [chuckles] Why would he do that? - [Trina scoffs]

To practice figure skating.

Okay, I'm sorry, what?

And Jacob, you think I'm the liar?

No, that's probably not a lie, sadly.

My dad wanted to be a figure skater when he was younger,

but he was too scared to tell his dad.

[Trina] Oh.

Generational machismo runs deep.

Can I kick his ass now, please?

Trev... [sighs] ...I need you to do me a solid, please.

Dad, get over here. I have some good news.

You got my job back?

- That was misleading. - Yeah, no.

Uh, apparently, you were guilty of, like, every infraction

in the Deerfield Ice rule book.

Breaking in, personal use of the ice, personal use of the Zamboni,

and they actually added a few new rules based on your behavior

like personal use of the sound system.

I like to listen to Shania Twain while I practice,

and I didn't think there'd be a person on the planet who would mind.

- She's an absolute angel on earth. - You know she's from Canada, right?

Of course I know that.

Okay, so your job isn't salvageable,

but I convinced Trevor to give you some free ice time.

So, do you have your skates?

Do I have my skates?

Um... [scoffs] I don't know,

did Elvis Stojko take home silver at the Nagano Olympics?

Yes! Yes, he did.

[Izzy] The parade begins at Johnson's,

and will travel down Main Street and end at Giorgio's.

The festivities will kick off with the Deerfield High marching band,

and of course conclude with the arrival of the deer.

Any questions?

Yeah, how did we land on the name "Deercoming"?

Also, why a parade? Also, just, why?

[chuckles] Hana. You're so bad. [chuckles]

[Izzy] For anyone who's new to town,

the Deercoming Parade is a cherished tradition.

Local businesspeople compete for the prize of "Best Float."

Best Float, here we go.

Get your votes in, a lot of people have been working real hard this year, okay?

So let's get to the polls, people.

It's like a Santa Claus parade, but instead of Santa at the end,

it's a deer in a sleigh, pulled by hunters on rollerblades.

- Mm-hmm. - [Nat] That's right.

And the deer throws candy deer droppings at the children,

which we call "deer drops."

Right, no, that makes perfect sense.

But, again, why?

Why? Why?

Is that the only question you could ask, is why?

One might equally ask why you came to this town,

or why you kept secrets about the MORPHO,

or why you brought temptation to our beloved, innocent priest?

[crowd gasps]

Hmm. Guess the cat's out the bag.

Yeah, who knew kissing in front of the entire town

at a wrestling match would out us like that?

- [Reuben chuckles] - Ooh.

Ignore her, Hana.

She's just jealous of anyone who's getting some action.

- [Nat] Oh, snap! - [Giorgio exclaims]

I-In the early days of Deerfield,

uh, Deercoming signaled the start of the deer hunt.

But since there are no more deer, it now... doesn't.

That's right. And I will, of course, once again,

be portraying the titular deer at the end of the parade.

Goddamn it.

[clicks tongue] Aw.

Maybe next year, Sheila. Right?

- [Alice] Dusty? - [gasps] Hey.

- Hey, what are you doing? - Just checking the old window wipers.

Winter's coming.

Don't know if... You know if they're good for snow?

- We don't get a lot. - What's that?

- Oh, th... I think it's some junk mail, or... - Oh, okay. Well, give it to me.

- Oh, you don't need to see it. - No, give it to me.

Yeah. All right. [clears throat]

[scoffs]

"Thanks for being swell."

Is this a thank-you card?

- I can summarize it if you want... - No, no, no. I've got it.

"Dear Alice, thank you for your interest in me.

It's been really lovely going on dates, and having some nice chats,

and even some intimate moments."

I'm sorry, are you breaking up with me in a fucking thank-you card?

I'm sorry, okay?

I considered a sympathy card, but it felt presumptuous.

- [scoffs] - And I wanted to say "thank you",

because I really have enjoyed our lovely time together.

I just...

I have a family.

Yeah, yeah, I know. [scoffs]

And I knew that you and Cass were planning on getting back together.

I just... I don't know. This doesn't make sense.

- [chuckles] - Yeah. Yeah, I know.

- The whole thing is so confusing. - No.

No, it doesn't make sense because you were in my vision.

- What? - You were in my vision, Dusty, okay?

Yeah, your little animated guy was with my little animated girl...

- Why didn't you tell me this before? - Because I didn't wanna freak you out.

It would have been a weird thing to just drop on a first date.

Oh, yeah, right now is much better.

[scoffs]

Listen, you kept on saying that the break with Cass was temporary.

But then...

I don't know. I-I felt like we had a real connection,

and things were just happening organically.

And, of course, I had my hopes.

I don't know.

Now that you're ending things... ugh, early, by the way...

I don't know, I feel like a fucking idiot

for thinking that this was anything more, you know?

What was in the vision?

[scoffs] I mean, does it even matter?

You're with Cass now, right?

So what difference does it make?

[scoffs] I gotta go.

Wait. Wait. Alice, can you just wait a minute?

Nope. There's a parade this afternoon,

and the marching band isn't gonna set itself up.

Well, it probably would, but...

- Alice, can I just say something? - [sighs] Write me a card about it. Yeah?

- [Trina] Oh! - Oh, my God.

[both applauding]

[Trina] Whoo!

- He just had all that in his locker? - So much fringe.

Is it weird that I'm kind of nervous for him?

Not at all. I might throw up.

Yeah. Like father, like son.

["Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" playing]

- [laughs] - Oh.

[exclaims] Yes.

Yes, Mr. Kovac!

- [chuckles] - He can do it.

- No, no, is he going for a jump? - Wow.

- Whoo! - [chuckles]

[song ends]

[Trina, Jacob cheering]

Nice.

- [Trina laughs] - This is sick, and Shania really slaps.

Man, some of those oldies...

What? Are you okay?

He's amazing, right?

No, I... I know.

And look at him. He's so happy.

He's like my dad on his scooter before he got all obsessed with the machine.

I used to have a happy dad.

Now I have, like, a, um...

- Sad dad? - A sad dad, yeah.

Both my parents are all, like, caught up in their visions.

And now they're trying to act happy, but they're clearly in denial.

My house is just, like, so unstable lately.

You can stay with me sometimes,

if you keep coming up with decent cover stories.

[chuckles]

Well, that's the thing. I wanna stay with you all the time.

Oh. Shit. Okay.

It's too much. It's way too much.

- Mm-mmm. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Sorry.

I get it.

I love how much closer I've gotten with my dad recently but...

Mm-hmm.

...it just feels so much more like home when it's not just the two of us.

So, should I move in? [chuckles]

Like, maybe.

- Here. - Are you giving me a key, sir?

[stammers] It's... Yeah, it's actually a mailbox key.

- Oh. - It's more of a symbolic gesture.

W-We don't even lock our door, to be honest.

Are you sure about this?

No. Not at all.

I think it might be illegal, actually, since we're not technically adults.

- Mm-hmm. - But...

I don't know, we could try it for a while. If your parents are cool with it.

I mean, I feel like they have to be, considering the shit they put me through.

But I'll ask them at Deercoming.

- Cool. - [chuckles]

[laughs] Hey, were you guys watching that? [grunts]

Oh, shit! Dad, are you okay?

- Yes! Perfect timing, Big D! - Oh sh...

You gotta see the Giorgio's Restaurant float before she sets sail.

Check it out.

[Dusty] Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

[cheering, exclaims]

Hey, what do you think?

Pretty eye-catching stuff, yeah?

I can honestly say it's the most horrific sight I've ever beheld.

- It's me. - [Cass laughs]

I got that.

And are we married to the mannequins?

Oh, the mannequins were my idea.

I got them at a going-out-of-business sale for a store called Daddy Longlegs,

which specialized in clothes for men with short torsos and extremely long legs.

Yeah, I thought I could stick them in my windows

and they'd scare away intruders,

but then I kept forgetting where I'd put them

and then they'd just terrify me.

Which makes them a wonderful idea for a parade.

- You think we should strike them, Big D? - I do.

I think you should strike them physically.

I mean, they're evil.

You know what? May... Maybe Dusty's right.

We're already singing our Latchkey Ladz song on top of the float.

Maybe there's just a lot going on.

I can't wait to see that.

You'll be like the queen of the spaghetti pile.

[scoffs]

Yeah.

Yeah, well, you know, marketing Giorgio's is part of my job.

Yeah.

[laughs] So yeah, I think it'll get people talking.

[laughs] Yeah. It's gonna be unforgettable, one way or another.

All right. We're striking the mannequins, Big Dog.

- Good idea. - [Giorgio] I need your help.

They're unwieldy. Help me wield them.

Hey. Let's go work on the number.

I think we got the hip thrusts close to perfect.

- Yes. Yes. Let's do that. [sighs] - Right? Okay.

Are you in a lot of pain?

No, it actually doesn't hurt at all.

- As long as I don't move it, or touch it. - Mmm.

[Jacob] Dad, remember Dr. Woods, right?

She's a doctor, and you asked her out on a date,

but she had an emergency and couldn't make it,

but then you never asked her out again? Remember?

I thought you were gonna call me a cab, Jacob.

There's no need for Dr. Woods to take time out of her busy schedule for this.

Oh, it wasn't an issue at all. I was just in surgery.

Oh, seriously?

P-Please tell me you didn't just leave the person.

Oh, no, no. [chuckles] Gosh, no.

I was in surgery.

Just an ingrown toenail. I can go back anytime.

- Anyhoo, let's take a look at that wrist. - [sighs] Ow.

It's funny. I finished my full figure skating routine

- without falling down once. - Mmm.

But then a bad patch of ice took me down in the end.

They should fire that Zamboni driver.

- [Trina chuckles] - [laughing]

Wow.

Funny and good at skating?

- That's a rare combination. [chuckles] - [chuckles]

- Is it? - Anyway, I don't think it's broken.

Although, if it were, you'd recover quickly

because you're quite strong from what I can see.

That's good to know, because if I did need a cast,

I'd have to get one from a doctor who's less...

- physically distracting... - Okay, we're good to go, yeah?

Dad, we'll meet you at Deercoming, okay?

Okay, son.

[clicks tongue] Okay.

Does it hurt if I touch you there?

Well, that's my pec. I didn't fall on that.

So... that feels fine.

Big D, I feel like I'm doing most of the heavy lifting here, bro.

If they're too heavy for you, it's all good.

[groans] No, they're not too heavy. They're just awkward.

You just gotta find the center of gravity, Big Dog.

Like, try grabbing it through the crotch.

Yeah, yeah. You know what? I think that this might be too heavy.

And I just remembered there's, um, something I need to do.

So I'm gonna have to leave this oblong monstrosity here for a minute.

Wait, what? What could possibly be more important than this?

It's just a school matter that requires some attention.

Wait, is this about Alice?

- Have you told her that it's over? - Yes.

Yes, but I just need to ask her one more thing.

No way, bro. You're back with Cassie now.

We already sang the song for you.

Yeah, I'm just gonna go and talk to her for a minute.

Not on my watch, bro.

Let me pass, Giorgio.

I'm not gonna let you pass, D.

No, stop, D. Stop.

- Giorgio, stop it. Stop it. - No. No.

Don't bash the mannequin, D.

- Come on, man! Don't... - Can't make it any worse!

Stop. No.

Get Nat's haunted sex doll out of my face.

- Do not call it that, D! - I will break its little head!

No, I'm not gonna let you talk to her, dog.

I was in her vision.

- Wait, for real? - Yes.

- What were you doing? - I don't know. She wouldn't tell me.

That's what I wanna talk to her about.

Look, I'm trying to get back to normal with Cass, but something is lingering.

Maybe there was something there. Or something growing there.

Maybe there were things that I was missing with Cass all this time,

and I didn't even realize I was missing them.

Like what? Be specific.

[stammers, sighs] I don't know.

With Alice, it's easy.

You know, when we're together, we laugh all the time,

and she can be spontaneous.

And I like the version of myself I was becoming with her.

But that would fade. I realize that.

I'm not... It's not a good comparison, because it's new.

I know that, and I realize that I should just walk away.

- Except... - You were in her vision.

Which is strange, because most of the visions are, like,

stuff from people's past or their present.

But you and Alice didn't even know each other when you were in hers,

so it's kind of like a vision from the future.

That is a surprisingly cogent thought.

But what does it mean?

I don't know, bro.

But if I were you, I'd wanna find out.

[both] ♪ I... I... ♪

- Okay. - Okay, here we go.

- Five, six, seven... - Five, six, seven, eight...

[both] ♪ I've been standing in the queue I don't know what to do ♪

♪ I don't know what to do Without your love ♪

- [laughs] Okay. - [laughs] That was so good!

Okay, and then... and then we'll say,

"At Giorgio's, you never have to stand in the queue

- because we serve you right away!" - We serve you... [mumbling]

Yes. That's so perfect and so true.

- I don't... I don't know. [inhales deeply] - What?

Oh, my God, my mom's gonna be there. She's gonna rip this to shreds.

- Who gives a flying poop? - [inhales deeply]

When's the last time you even talked to your mom?

- [sighs] It's been a while. - Yeah, exactly.

Because you cut her off which is so, so healthy.

So why are you still doubting yourself?

I don't know.

I mean, Dusty said that thing, like,

"Wow, you're gonna be the queen of spaghetti."

- Ugh. - Like, what?

- This is what "Royalty" means? - Oh, just ignore him.

But I can't.

I don't.

Like, I know it's just a joke... [sighs] ...but there are so many jokes.

[sighs] Yeah.

It's, like, whenever I am excited about something...

big or small, it doesn't matter...

he just has to make a snarky little remark about it.

Mm-hmm.

Whether it's the song, or... or me getting a job at Giorgio's,

- or... or the Potential Fund, or... - Or Storytellers.

Or Storytellers. Right.

And they add up.

After years and years of being with someone,

they just add up.

[sighs]

And yeah, I cut off my mom,

but there is that second part to my vision too.

And no matter how hard I try to ignore it, there's a second voice in my head.

Sometimes it just makes me feel so small.

And does that voice have an Irish accent?

- [band instruments playing] - [crowd chattering]

[Dusty] Alice. Alice, we need to talk.

- Okay, well, I'm rehearsing right now, so... - Is that your hat?

Is the hat that I'm wearing my hat? Yes.

I mean, is that what you wanna talk about?

No, no. I-I-I need to know what happened in your vision.

- Dusty... - Then, I promise, I'll leave you alone.

Okay, come.

I mean, I already told you.

It-It was me floating through the air, going with the flow.

Yeah, but where do I fit in?

[sighs] Okay.

At the beginning, I was standing in a plane, too scared to jump.

And you were on the plane with me.

How did you know it was me?

[Alice scoffs] Because it looked just like you.

And because you gave me your, uh, camo scooter helmet.

Put it on, and you gently pushed me out of the plane.

You gave me the push that I needed to jump.

[chuckles] Yeah, so, I don't know, it made me feel like you...

You know, the real you are gonna help me somehow, you know.

Which is why I was so aggressive in pursuing you.

It's why I chased you down the hall after hearing about your selfploration.

Right. But now, twice in a row, the MORPHO machine has fucked me up.

You know, it said my potential was "Cellist." [chuckles]

A dream I gave up.

And my vision was you. [scoffs]

Something I can't have.

And I don't even know why you were in my vision,

because clearly, I'm not in yours.

- What? - [groans]

I think maybe there was someone else in my vision.

I mean, at the time, it went by so fast,

but I think there was someone next to the ski jump.

I don't know. I don't know if it was actually you,

or if I'm just putting you there now as a way to justify my feelings for you.

And of course this was before my fucking reading glasses.

And what if it was you? What would that even mean?

Why can't the machine be more fucking specific?

And why can't we see our visions more than once?

[sighs] I've... I've told you all I know, Dusty. [chuckles]

Good luck.

Mr. Johnson, I need to use the machine.

The MORPHO? Do you have another card?

Who says I need another card?

[stammers] The machine does. That's who.

Yeah, well, last time it said that it needed our social security numbers

and our fucking fingerprints. And that wasn't true, was it?

[stammers] Maybe not, but that doesn't mean that you...

It said "continue," okay?

After my vision, after everybody's vision, it said "continue."

So, there must be a way to continue. There must be a next, next stage.

[Mr. Johnson] Uh...

[Dusty] All right, MORPHO, we would like to continue, please.

We have enjoyed your vague little cartoons,

but now we'd like to move on with our lives.

So, if you could be so kind as to give us some fucking answers here...

- Dusty, please. - Can you hear me?

Can you hear me, MORPHO?

We'd like to move on now, please, you dumb fucking machine.

- You jumped-up fucking fortune cookie! - [MORPHO whirring]

[whirring stops]

[Dusty] What?

What guide?

Oh, Dusty, what have you done?