Original subtitles

I thought I was over Ben but it turns out I'm not.

I want him back.

What do I do?

Tell him how you feel.

You conspired to lure my client to Bristol...

No. ..With the express purpose of planting drugs in his car.

They're trying to discredit me, Your Honour.

They're setting me up. DS Haines!

In the UK, there are far more people needing sperm than there are donors.

But my doctor said I need to get pregnant as soon as possible.

Then you may be better off with a donor you already know.

Can you think of anyone?

Do you know what's on The Dean's hard drive?

Proof of his whole operation.

The police would have searched his house

and they would have found the safe.

A dummy one. The real one is well hidden behind a horse.

We need to keep eyes o The Dean's house in London.

Front gate about two metres high.

Garden walls look about a metre thick.

And there's some kind of bodyguard and he's armed.

Oh, we're in trouble!

We have to move the break in forward.

We're not ready. Then The Dean gets out tomorrow.

And we're all dead.

HE LAUGHS

TORI: Your room is on the second floor, room 22.

Lift is just there. Thanks.

There you go.

Can you cover me?

I really need to see my boyfriend.

Tori, you horn-dog! Go get it, girl!

Um, Ben...

Er...

I don't know how today's gonna go down.

It's the most dangerous thing we've done,

and I might not get the chance to say this to you -

not that I have a right to say this to you,

after how I've treated you.

But the thing is...

TAKES A DEEP BREATH

I really...

..think we should give us another go.

Because I love you.

Tori... Tori?

SHE SCOFFS No.

Tori? Tori! Tori! Tori!

Look, I didn't ask for the role of "hysterical girlfriend",

but your ex is wanted for murder,

you're hiding her in your flat and you're clearly still together!

No, we're not!

Ben, I can't be part of this.

Just let me explain, Tori.

Please let go of the door.

Let go of the door!

ENGINE STARTS

HORN TOOTS

Rani, let's go! We've got a schedule to keep.

You're the one who laminated it.

JOHN: Come on! We've got to break into

a drug dealer's mansion by 4!

GREG: Do we know where the safe is in the house?

No. All we know is it's "behind a horse",

or whatever that means.

Did you two find out anything about the security system?

Well, even if we can find the safe,

stealing what's inside it isn't going to be easy.

We don't know the code.

And if we move the safe, then that triggers

a motion-sensor alarm which triple-locks all the doors

and brings shutters down on the windows.

ALARM BLARES

If we manage to get it outside,

the garden gate and the walls have anti-climb technology.

And the security guard carries a machine.

A machine? Yeah, an iron.

A gun! Well, say that, then!

Gabby and I don't know all the slang terms for guns.

I do. No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Burner, iron, ting, leng, joint, mac, gat, mash, matic,

milly, glizzy, pole, stick, strap, wap, nine,

rotty, botty and tum-tum.

Aren't those last three Teletubbies?

What about po-po? That definitely is.

No, no. Po-po is police,

and they're called automatically.

Basically, our biggest threat is the security guy.

HE CRIES OUT

No-o-o-o!

What a way to go.

Death by Tinky-Winky.

What's the big emergency?

I was in the middle of a particularly tricky Wordle.

Schedule's moved up. It's happening today.

What do you mean, today?

Plan's already underway.

I'm driving to London with Rani after she collects

what she needs from her parents' place.

We'll meet the others at The Dean's crib.

They'll lift the hard drive and it'll end up in a red tool box.

When you step in...

..it can't look like we're working together.

HE SCOFFS Why do you care what they think?

I told you, all I care about is me -

but I don't wanna be left hanging out there.

So, once it's done...

..you force me into the vehicle.

And the deal's 50:50.

BURGESS: I was lying in bed this morning

thinking about you.

Am I supposed to be flattered?

I was saying to myself...

.."Is he playing me?"

Cos if you are, the next time your friends see you,

you're gonna be colder than a snowman's dick.

Do you hear me?

Um... Assuming we get our hands on this hard drive,

what's to say it's not password protected?

Oh. PHONE RINGS

Go for Diane.

Do you remember when we were in

your store cupboard at probation?

You mean my office?

Yeah, sure, your office. You said

the reason you don't keep notes on your computer is because...

Criminals have logarithms that can hack any password

in two minutes or less.

Where did you get that information from?

That is classified.

Diane. Fine.

From Nigel. He works in IT at probation.

Do you reckon if you flashed Nigel some cleavage,

he would write us a program to crack The Dean's hard drive?

Hmm. I'm pretty sure Nigel's gay.

He's very flappy with his hands

and he hasn't once checked out my arse.

But...

..even if I can't turn Nigel's head,

I know someone who might.

I'm on it!

LINE DISCONNECTS

RHONA: In a few hours, The Dean leaves court a free man.

And he'll be back slinging crack and smack,

and when someone ODs or some kid is caught

in the crossfire, that's on you!

You bloody amateur! Call me that again.

Oh, and you'll what, amateur?

Let her go. Lucy, no!

Let her go. Get the fuck off me!

You're done!

Like this case.

You understand, right?

You're done.

That was exciting, wasn't it?

Could've sold tickets for that.

She's right.

I'll have the stink on me for the rest of my days.

I'm screwed.

Hey, come here.

SHE SOBS

NEARBY CHATTER

And?

It's negative. Well, give it time.

I don't have time, Greg!

That's the whole point. I'm never gonna be a mum

and I'm gonna die alone and unloved like you!

Sorry. Lashing out.

Bloody hormones!

You're not pregnant yet.

No. Fair point. Well, look, don't worry.

I'm gonna get you up the duff

if I have to spend morning, noon and night

wanking like a safari park chimp.

OK?

Thanks, Greg.

WHISPERS: Why have you baked scones?

Well, you said make an effort.

I said, "Dress sexy," Mary Berry.

And what you wearing?

You look like Andy Murray at Pride.

Hi, Nige. Hi, Diane.

Have you met Stan, my new apprentice?

All right, mate?

An "all right, mate" to you, too.

Wow!

What a big one you've got there.

I mean, what is that? Is that...34 inches?

38-inch ultra-wide.

I mean, I dream of getting my hands on that kind of...

...girth.

Why? Do you do a lot of gaming?

I mean, I like to play around, if you will.

Stan here, he's got a hard drive

and he's got a lot of, um,

no-make-up selfies on it, if you catch my drift.

But he's forgotten the password.

How would he get back into it?

He'll need a decryption code that uses live-memory analysis

to extract the encryption key from the security partition.

Stop with the dirty talk, you minx.

And is that decryption code

something that you might be able to write?

HE SCOFFS Easily,

cos the guys who design hard drives are lazy wankers.

But I don't have time.

Oh, pretty please...

..Mr Tech Daddy.

I mean, couldn't you just...

...tap-tap away in your little hot...

..Rick And Morty T-shirt?

Right, what's going on?

No-one likes this T-shirt. Not even my girlfriend.

Girlfriend?! Girlfriend? But you're gay.

No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

You've got three lip balms in your pencil holder.

You change your jeans before they get itchy

and I saw you watching a video of a bald muscly guy

talking about rims.

That was Vin Diesel on Top Gear.

You never looked at these once!

I'm more of a leg man. Er, hello!

Wait, are you trying to get me to write you code

by pimping this bloke out?

Definitely not. Yes.

No.

Get out before I report you to HR.

SHE MUTTERS Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Are those scones?

Home-made. With cream and jam.

Leave the scones here,

come back in an hour for your code.

And I'm gonna want your dongle.

What? I said I'd flirt with him.

He's not touching my dongle. Just quickly, just once.

Your USB dongle. To put the code on.

Your USB dongle.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

SHE TUTS Sorry, Nige.

RANI: That's the armed bodyguard.

Mm-hm.

CAR DOOR OPENS

Hello, Professor!

VOICEMAIL: It's Tori. You know what to do.

Hey. Look, I don't know if you got any of my texts,

but...

My life is crazy complicated right now.

I want to explain. Call me back.

BURGESS: So...what's the latest with you and Blue Balls?

I...

..kissed him and told him I loved him.

How did he take it? Unclear.

It was interrupted...

..by his girlfriend.

Awkward!

So, what are you gonna do now?

I don't...I don't know.

What do you think she should do, eh?

She...

She should let him go.

Why?

You and him are different people.

You broke his heart,

so part of him will always want you back.

Which is why you should cut him loose.

For his sake and for yours.

I...I can't just let him go.

I...

..love him.

You also love all this mad shit.

That ain't Ben.

It's not me either. I...

I've changed. I... I just want a settled life.

Be real. What's living for you?

Running a food shack?

Or running from bent cops?

BEN: Wait. Wait, wait. Does this stuff turn you on?

What stuff? Car chases.

The drug deals, The gang shit.

Oh, come on, you've got to admit -

it's a bit of a thrill!

We weren't ziplining, Rani.

Oh, my God, you're so boring!

PIPES GURGLE

Victor!

Why is there no water?

My damn husband has a 56-grand fish tank

and I can't get one glass of the shit?! Fix it!

Right.

Yeah. So I just...I just shoved the ol' rod

down the drainpipe and, um,

plunged the U-bend with the old, um, plunger.

That sounds like some good plumbing to me.

Whatever work you're doing means

we've got no water in the house.

You need to come and take a look.

Sorry, mate, I ain't... I haven't got the manpower.

It's kids, innit, these days? You know,

they're...they're not interested in plumbing.

They just wanna vape and talk about pronouns.

I mean, wait till their toilets overflow, right?

HE GROWLS

You are taking a look.

Right now.

Yeah, all right, mate.

Stop right there!

Is it a weekend or a bank holiday?

What are you talking about?

A little something called The Highway Code.

Ever heard of it? Rule number 238 -

drivers must not wait

or park in restricted areas during the designated times,

with the exception of weekends and bank holidays.

Now, do I look like I'm extreme-caving?

Extreme-caving?

Yeah. That's what I do on weekends and bank holidays.

You should see the kind of holes I've squeezed into.

All right, um... Luigi, why don't you pull the van into this bloke's drive?

All right. No, you ain't doing that.

They can park there for ten minutes.

And I can issue them with £130 fine.

JOHN WHISTLES

Well, good luck with your water, mate.

All right, fine.

Just pull up on the driveway.

Pull up on the driveway.

OK, show time!

DOG BARKS

HE WHISTLES Inside!

Found some plumbers.

OK.

OK...

PIPES GURGLE Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I see.

All right, so water's not working.

Great. Who do I make the cheque out to?

Sherlock Fucking Holmes?

Have you drunk any unboiled water today, madam?

Of course I have. Is that bad?

ALL INHALE SHARPLY

It's not good, love. Mm-mm.

Um, don't worry.

Why don't we all go and...

..we'll check all the other, um...

Taps. ..taps.

Keep an eye on them.

Who the fuck is this? Paul Blart Mall Cop?

SHE EXHALES SHARPLY

What do you want now? Sh, sh, sh!

Do you hear that? Hear what?

Listen.

Oh, this is bad.

Are you the homeowner? No.

OK. I'm going to need you to get the homeowner out here sharpish.

Horses. Horses...

Horses...

Horses. Horses...

Horses. Right...

Not a chuffing horse in sight.

Nah, no water down here neither!

LOUDLY: Cor blimey, guv'nor! Lord love a duck!

"Lord love a duck"? That's how plumbers speak!

Yeah, in Disney movies from the 1960s.

What are these plumbers doing?

VICTOR: Mrs Mathieson. What?

We have a problem.

What's the problem?

Police Community Support Officer Diane Pemberley.

Do you have air conditioning in your property, ma'am?

Of course we do. We're rich.

Even the dog kennel is climate controlled.

And are these your AC condenser units?

I don't know, but if you need a plumber,

there are three of them inside looking for taps.

WHISPERS: What if the safe is hidden in a secret compartment behind there

and is activated by a book about horses?

Look for anything about horses - Black Beauty or Seabiscuit.

Yeah. Yeah. Or that other one.

The one about the... the horse trainer.

They made it into a film with, um...

..Robert Redford. The Sting?

What the fuck has The Sting got to do with horses?

Robert Redford cons Robert Shaw into making bets on horses!

Oh. So, Smiler, in his dying breath,

told Rani the safe was behind a horse,

in the hope she would remember the plot of a film

made 30 years before she was born?!

You've never seen any films made from before you were born?

Oh, my God, that's it! That's it.

It's The Horse Whisperer!

Do you know what this is?

An iPhone that's three years out of date.

It's a sound meter app, OK?

Aah!

That's 45 decibels.

Ye-eah!

That's 80 decibels.

Do you know what the permitted decibel level is

for AC condenser units in this area?

This'll shock you. I don't.

50dB.

These...

..are measuring at 53.

Pff! We might as well be on the runway at Heathrow.

DOG PANTS

Now, do you have planning permission for your AC?

I don't know. Do we?

Ho! I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you

to the local authority, and if you don't have permission,

they will issue an enforcement notice,

and you will have to remove your AC immediately.

What? Why do you care?

I care cos this is how society breaks down.

It starts with avoiding planning permission,

or fly-tipping an old fridge, but then before you know it,

the mayor's hanging from a lamppost

and there's gangs on three-wheeler bikes

wearing leather jackets with the spikes on.

And you'll be selling this tight little yoga bod

for baked beans and paraffin. Is that what you want?

Huh?

HE SIGHS

HE WHISTLES Hey.

Found it.

I might try hot yoga again. I don't know. It's just so hot.

Anyway, I am going to have to report that, I'm afraid.

Or...

..how about I give you...

..£42.50,

and you spend it at the bakery of your choice?

Are you trying to bribe a Police Community Support Officer?

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

What I won't pretend I didn't hear are your AC units.

SHE SIGHS

All sorted, me ol' china!

Wait!

You forgot your thingy.

Oh, right, yeah.

My thingy. Thanks.

Follow that van. Move!

Call them. Now!

Call 'em!

LINE RINGS

It worked!

We've got it!

We're heading back to Bristol now.

No, you're not. Who's that?

It's...Burgess.

He has a gun.

Pull in just up ahead.

Oh!

Please don't hurt them.

Then do as I say.

Move.

Stay where you are! Only the bird gets out.

Take the tool box out the back of the van.

Move!

Take the hard drive out of the box.

Bring it here.

How did you know it was in the tool box?

Eh? How did you know the hard drive was in the tool box?

Maybe I'm psychic.

Or maybe you should ask your friend here.

You sold us out?

Toodle-oo.

Yo. Yo, what are you doing?

You! You little... Yo! We had a...

HE YELLS

HE GROANS

You snake! You snake!

PHONE BUZZES

Yes?

It's me. Put him on.

Burgess. Put him on speaker.

Tell me you got your hands on Taylor or Rekowski.

Nah,

but I've got my hands on something way more valuable than that.

It was in a safe in your gaff.

Have you been in my house?

Me?

Nah. But Rani Rekowski and her friends breezed in

and out again with a hard drive

which I'd say is worth, to you...ooh...

..100K?

Oh, come on. Don't be absurd.

If what I hear is right,

if I hand this to the prosecution...

..you're not walking out of pokey today.

And how do I know you have what you say you have?

Call your missus. Check it out.

Quickly, though, cos I'm en route to Bristol.

And I can either hand it to your lawyer...

..or the prosecution.

It's entirely up to you.

Toodle-oo.

Fuck. Get my wife on the phone.

Has anyone been at the house today?

Only some useless plumbers.

Why the fuck have you let plumbers in?

I needed water! What did you want me to do,

drain your koi carp pond?

SHE SIGHS All right, I'm in the bedroom.

What's going on?

That shit drawing of a horse that Tilly did -

just take it down.

You put a safe in our kid's bedroom?!

Do you know how dangerous that is?!

What next? A toaster in the wet room?

Can we save the domestic till I'm out of prison?

Just open the safe, woman.

Code is 0569.

There's a hard drive.

It's there? Are you sure?

Yes, it's in the safe you didn't tell me about

while my Cartier watches are in a shoe box in my knickers drawer!

All right. Just close the safe and put Victor back on.

SHE SIGHS

What's going on?

Can you just for once do as I fucking say?!

Don't fucking swear at me!

Victor! Phone!

It's the lousy father of my dumb kids!

PHONE RINGS

So do we have a deal?

HE SIGHS Nothing's missing.

Are you trying to play me, arsehole?

I'm looking at it as we speak.

I have it right here.

Listen, I don't know what you have, but it doesn't belong to me.

What does belong to me, though, are your testicles,

which I will be giving to my wife as fucking earrings!

Fuck!

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

I've only heard great things about your school,

so I am extremely keen to get my child onto your waiting list.

That is wonderful to hear, your Ladyship.

Tell me, how old is your child?

Oh, they're not born yet.

Children don't start with us until they're seven years old.

Yes, but I like to plan ahead.

But I can't really add a child to the waiting list

before they...exist.

I'm not sure if you heard,

but I recently won a rather large inheritance.

And, er, I do want to put a significant tranche

towards supporting young people's schooling.

Do you have grass AND clay tennis courts?

No.

Would you like to?

Shall we take a tour?

I would adore that.

Ooh!

Is everything OK? Oh, yes. Oh, it's...

It's just the baby.

Probably getting excited about their new school.

Ha... Ow! Oh, how alarming.

Why don't you rest here?

Yes. Yes.

Oh! Ooh.

Would you mind awfully showing my baby daddy around

while I just...recover?

Of course.

Mm. What a shame.

I know you're itching to see the multi-faith prayer room.

Oh, I am!

Religion will, of course, be our kid's choice,

but, er, I am hoping for Buddhist,

whereas you're leaning more towards Islam.

Peace be upon him.

This way.

I didn't hurt you, did I?

I felt like I might have hit you a bit too hard.

Yeah, the hitting was fine.

The kicking, though - too much.

Duly noted.

Mathieson.

And we had a complete overhaul of all the sporting facilities

three years ago. Mm.

We should probably get back to my office,

see how her Ladyship is doing. Absolutely.

Just a few quick questions.

Do the children here play rugby?

Yes. OK. Cricket?

Yes. Lacrosse?

Yes.

Football, basketball, volleyball, baseball, softball, or dodgeball?

Yes. Yes. No.

No. Yes. No.

Ha!

Quidditch? That's not a real sport.

That was a test. Good lad.

We probably should get back to my office.

How about wrestling? No.

Arm wrestling? No.

Sumo wrestling? No.

Mathieson, Mathieson...

Helena Mathieson!

Karate? No.

Judo? No.

Kinamutay? Which is?

It's a form of Filipino self-defence.

No. And, er, forgive me, but we should...

Ping pong?

LINE RINGS

PHONE BUZZES

SHE SIGHS

Liam?

COCKNEY ACCENT: No, this is Sharon, the school secretary.

Brontosaurus? Yes.

Stegosaurus? Yes.

Tyrannosaurus? Yes. Our students learn all the dinosaurs.

D'you-think-he-saurus?

No. That's just the punch line to a joke -

"What do you call a blind dinosaur?"

Another test. Good lad.

I'm really sorry to bother you, Mrs Mathieson,

but, um, little, um...Tilly... she's, um...

Well, she's in a bit of trouble.

Er, she's been caught...

..dealing.

Dealing? Dealing what?

Energy drinks. Yeah, she's been selling them to the other kids

for five times what she paid for them.

Do you know where she'd get this kind of behaviour from?

No.

Nothing comes to mind.

Right. Right.

Well, Tilly will need to be reprimanded,

so I'm going to need you to come down to the school.

Why? I pay you 12 grand a term

so that from 9.00-3.00, she's your problem!

We will need you to come down.

Can you name all these old boys? Yes.

Can we stand here while you do that? No.

GREG EXHALES

Oh! How did it go, darling?

I wish you could have seen the all-weather sports pitch.

Oh, darling, you know I'm obsessed with Astroturf!

Did you take lots of photos?

Of course. How are you feeling?

Yes, good. We really must be going.

We're seeing universities this afternoon.

Gosh, you DO plan ahead! Yes, yes.

Well, well, well... SHE CHUCKLES

Have you even read Appendix 6 of The Highway Code?

What?

As everyone knows, the minimum legal tyre tread depth is 1.6mm.

Yours are measuring..

..at 2.5. So they're fine.

Sure, if experts didn't recommend a minimum depth of 3mm.

This car is a bloody time bomb.

On wheels!

That are too thin!

Now, I might let you off,

but if you do this again,

then you're going to be losing more than your hair.

How did it go?

I told him if the risk of bald tyres doesn't worry him,

then maybe the risk of a £2,000 fine and three penalty points will.

No, no. How did it go with the hard drive?

Oh.

See you back in Bristol.

SIREN WAILS

SIREN WAILS

Oh, come on, Haines. Where are you?

PHONE BUZZES

CALL DISCONNECTS Oh, she's not picking up.

Ow!

You can drop the act now.

It's not an act. Something's...

Agh!

Do you want to see a doctor?

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

REPORTER: In a humiliation for the police,

the trial of Liam Mathieson, known as The Dean,

is expected to end today with the judge instructing the jury

to return a verdict of not guilty,

meaning Mr Mathieson is likely to go free within the hour.

RANI: Oh, my God, this is taking way too long.

We need to go somewhere safe till it's done.

I got this.

In you go.

DOOR CLOSES

HE SIGHS

PHONE RINGS

DCI Monroe.

Yes. Hello, sir.

This is PCSO Diane Pemberley. I am trying to get in contact

with Detective Sergeant Lucy Haines.

Do you know her current whereabouts, please, sir? Over.

She's in court. I need to get an urgent message to her, sir. Over.

HE SIGHS What's the message?

I am sorry I ever doubted you, ma'am.

I will live with that shame forever.

Also, evidence has come to light that exonerates your good self

and Rani Rekowski and incriminates Liam Mathieson, AKA The Dean,

and Met Detective Tony Burgess in murder, drug dealing,

and other very illegal behaviour...s.

If you could get this message to the judge

before The Dean is released from prison, please.

Sincerely, PCSO Diane Pemberley.

End of message.

Diane, where is...? Over.

Where is this evidence now?

HE SIGHS

HE SIGHS

Ben?

Can we have a chat?

SHE SIGHS So...what...what...

..do you think?

About us...

..giving it another go?

I do love you.

And I love you.

But we can't be together.

Look, I'm wrong for you.

You're bad for me.

That is not true.

We all know you live for this crazy shit.

No, not any more.

Rani...

..you are...

..a shooting star.

You're supposed to be out there, blasting off into the galaxy.

Me? I'm...

I'm just a...boring old rock...

..you know?

I'm meant to be here safely on the ground.

With Tori?

Maybe.

Do you love her?

I don't know her.

I kind of just met her.

But I have to give it a go to find out.

No. I've changed.

All this madness...

..I don't want that life any more.

What life do you want?

I don't... I don't...

I don't know... but not this.

Just... Just... Just give us another chance.

LAPTOP WHIRS

LAPTOP CHIMES

SHE CRIES OUT

Oh!

OK, that's it. I'm getting you to a hospital, OK?

Oh!

Come on. Yeah?

Mm.

Sergeant Haines.

Sorry. Coming through.

Official business.

Police Community Support Officer.

I've got pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it.

Let me through, thank you.

Sergeant Haines, I know you're not bent.

That is a huge relief.

And, ma'am, I can prove it.

All rise.

Who the fuck are you?

DCI Monroe.

Your friend Diane says you have something important

relating to The Dean's trial.

She also said we don't have much time,

so what do you have?

Proof of The Dean's whole operation.

Supply chains, money laundering, police pay-offs.

Police pay-offs? Yeah, look.

There's your dirty fed taking a bribe from The Dean.

HE YELLS

HE GROANS

HAMMERING

GATE CLATTERS

You took your time.

Sorry. Traffic's murder.

M4's like a car park.

Backup required at City Farm.

I have engaged with wanted fugitive Rani Rekowski

and her accomplice Benjamin Eastfield.

They are armed and dangerous.

HE YELLS

HE YELPS

There are occasions when

the judge decides that the quality of the evidence

is so tenuous or compromised

that the prosecution cannot prove the offence.

I have made the decision that, in this case,

the defendant must be found...

..not guilty.

Can you confirm that your verdict is one of not guilty?

I can.

Mr Mathieson...

..you are free to go.

SHE PANTS

SHE SHRIEKS

SHE CHOKES

POT BREAKS

HE YELLS

HE GASPS

SHE CRIES OUT

The shed!

CLANG

HE PANTS

MALAKI GROANS

BEN: I got you, bro.

MALAKI GROANS

MALAKI GASPS

MALAKI: Oh! Oh, fuck.

BEN WHISPERS: They're outside.

MALAKI PANTS

Sh!

Shit, they're coming. They're coming.

DOOR OPENS

Well, looks like you got yourself in a little bit of a pickle,

ain't ya? What are you going to do? Hmm?

You going to say that I stabbed him too?

I am.

Another tragic case of black-on-black knife crime.

RANI: And what does The Dean want you to do

about me and Ben?

Kill us...like you killed Smiler?

No need.

You're a wanted fugitive

and her accomplice. Open-and-shut case, innit?

Is there ever really such a thing?

Isn't it going to be way easier to tie up the Smiler case

if you have an eyewitness to his murder?

But you saw me do it, Professor.

You are the eye-bloody-witness.

What if I testified that I saw someone else kill Smiler?

Like who?

Rani, what are you doing?

She ain't selling him out. She's bang in love with him.

Yeah, I am.

But he doesn't want to be with me, so fuck him.

Rani, what is wrong with you?

You'll send an innocent kid to prison and feel OK about it?

I don't... I don't think I'll feel anything.

Maybe that's why I didn't yawn.

I guess I am a psychopath.

But he knows everything we did for The Dean -

the bribes, setting up Haines, killing Smiler,

the whole nine yards, right? He does.

So what's to stop him telling all that to a jury?

What's that thing that you said in the hotel room?

Who's the jury going to believe?

Young black kid with a criminal record or two white policemen?

DCI Monroe? This is DS Haines. Is everything OK?

Everything's under control, Sergeant.

Just... Just stay where you are!

Mm, looks like we're running out of time.

Do we have a deal?

Not with a gun pointed at my face.

Oh, it's a dummy.

She's lying.

It's been made safe. There's no bullets in it.

She's lying.

Get back.

Get back or I'll shoot!

I'll shoot. I'll shoot...

CLICK

Now we have a deal.

Cold-hearted bitch, ain't she, Blue Balls?

HE CHUCKLES

This man is under arrest for the murder of Marshall Smiley.

Kindly cuff him.

What are you doing? What's going on?

What is this? Do you know who I am?

What's going on? What is this?

MONROE ON RECORDING: So what's to stop him telling all that to a jury?

RANI: What's that thing that you said in the hotel room?

BURGESS: Who's the jury going to believe?

Young black kid with criminal record or two white policemen?

OFFICER: Come on. Come on.

Daddy!

Liam Mathieson, I'm arresting you

on suspicion of perverting the course of justice...

Oh, fuck! No, you're not!

..solicitation of murder...

We're not doing this again! ..accessory to murder...

Victor! Victor, get him off me!

HE YELLS

..and payment to police officers...

HE YELLS ..improper conduct...

Fu-u-u-uck!

You have the right to remain silent...

What's going on, Doctor? Can I see her?

Yeah, you can go in.

HE SIGHS

Did we get him?

We got him, bro.

We did it! We did it!

Yes, we did!

We did it! Yes!

How are you feeling?

The doctor said I'll live.

And how are you feeling?

The pain was caused by implantation cramps.

What's that?

It's when a fertilised egg attaches itself to the lining of the uterus.

Which means...?

I'm pregnant!

I'm going to have a baby!

She's having a baby! She's having a baby!

She's having a baby! With my spunk!

SHE WHOOPS Congratulations.

DIANE: Congratulations, both of you.

I mean, I can't take all the credit, you know,

she was quite heavily involved.

The bad boys made it. They got there!

Yes!

NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE

Wait...

So what gives rise to criminality?

As a criminologist,

you will not only explore the mind of the offender

but the social and economic conditions

which gives rise to criminality, so...

I still don't understand why crimes are that big a deal.

Yeah, but that's what we're here to learn about.

Diane? Can I have a word? Sure... Just, um...

Just wondered if you fancied grabbing that drink.

With you? Now?

Er, yeah, just give me a minute, ma'am.

Call me Lucy. OK.

Oh, my God!

You'll have to get the bus. Lucy wants to get a pint.

Can I come? I'm afraid not.

It's probably more of a Cagney and Lacey kind of thing.

You know, crack open some cold cases,

solve the shit out of them, and get a curry.

This is what you've always dreamed of!

I feel like you're Lizzo, I'm your manager,

and you've just won a bloody Grammy.

Well, I mean, if I was Lizzo, you wouldn't be my manager.

You know, maybe one of my entourage.

Access all areas?

Access some areas.

Hmm.

Ready.

Hey, good work this week, by the way.

See you on Monday.

This isn't a lesbian thing, Diane.

I'm a demon for the cock as well.

All right, Lucy! TMI.

BANGING ON SHUTTER

I heard the, um...

..curried goat is good.

SHE EXHALES So, er...

..I'm taking off.

Where are you going?

Oh, I don't know yet. SHE CHUCKLES

Or what I'm going to do when I get there.

Well, you're young.

You still have time to figure it out.

Yeah. So...

..I thought I'd, erm...

..say goodbye.

In person this time.

Goodbye.

I brought someone to see you.

Rani explained...

..how she kissed you, but you said it was over...

..how you want to be with me.

Right, look what I've been working on, right?

The latest addition to the menu.

TORI: Yes, Chef!

# Every single wish she made

# From shooting stars to birthday cakes

# Every lucky charm she'd saved

# Was for the great escape

# She crossed her heart and hoped to die

# Said farewell and closed her eyes

# Knew that there was more to life

# In the great escape

# She said Why don't we start from here?

# Why don't we start from here?

# Why don't we start from here?

# Why don't we start from here?

# Let's go

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Let's go

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# She caught a falling leaf

# And held it in her palms

# And waited for the sun to shine

# She caught a falling leaf

# And held it in her palms

# And waited for the sun

# She said Why don't we start from here?

# Why don't we start from here?

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Why don't we start from here?

# Why don't we start from here?

# Let's go

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Let's go

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... #

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