Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

- Hey, babe. - Hey.

- How you doin'? - Good, good. You?

I'm great.

You almost ready?

Almost, I just have shoes

and earrings.

Hey, would you wear that suit?

The one we had made in London.

I'm wearing it.

Remember that great little hotel?

I do. Where you surprised me

with the silk lingerie for my birthday.

Mmm... Rocky.

Say hi.

Hi...

Hello, Rocky.

- He misses you. - I miss him.

Hey, do me a favor, wear those red strappy shoes

so I can see your feet.

The ones I almost broke my back in?

I'd love to get you on your back right now.

You...

Shoes coming up.

Ooh, look at that.

Wow, that's nice.

- Red shoes. - Oh, boy.

Red shoes.

Oh, boy.

Oh... you're killing me.

You're killing me right now.

You don't wear those shoes for anyone else, do you?

Never you mind.

Hey, it's Saturday night, let's do something special.

Where should we go?

What do you feel like?

I don't know.

Maybe... something European.

How about the little French place?

- Let's go. Let's do it. - Okay.

I'll see you there.

Don't start without me.

Thank you.

Bonsoir, madame, and welcome.

How are you? Been a while, hey.

Doing very well.

May I bring you a Bombay gin martini, very cold?

Oh, sounds prefect, thanks.

Oh, remind me, what's the wifi password?

French75.

Gotcha.

Jack?

Is this seat taken, madam?

There you are.

How's the connection, alright?

It's fine.

We're making a movie

in Whitefish, Montana, don't forget,

so the closest thing to French around here is the mustard.

No, not even that.

Oh, well...

Amazing.

Did you get a haircut?

You look great in that suit.

You trying to make all the women to drool?

The only women drooling around here

have their A.A.R.P. cards.

But you love older women.

You, babe.

You, you get better...

and better.

- Hello, sir. - Hello.

Can I get you a drink?

Should we start with our usual?

Get a martini, please.

Bombay gin... very, very cold.

Comin' right up.

Mine's already on the way.

What do you feel like?

I think...

I will have the filet of sole almondine

with wilted spinach.

That sounds like girl food to me.

- Your martini, madame. - Thank you.

Then I'm gonna get the New York steak,

"rare but not cold."

And a side of spinach.

We can eat our vitamins together.

Now, how's that for intimate?

I'll wait for you.

Mine is coming.

Thank you.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Here's to us and those like us, damn few left.

The girls hate that toast.

Well, other than that,

we haven't screwed 'em up too bad.

Well, let's hope our luck holds.

Lisa's only been in college for three weeks.

Might be a little early to tell.

You know Kate's boyfriend,

the one with the motorcycle?

Let's call him "friend."

- Kate's friend with the motorcycle... - Yeah... Uh-huh.

He asked me what the secret was

to our long marriage.

This is a guy with a lot of secrets.

What'd ya tell him?

"Don't get divorced."

Excellent advice, that's very wise.

What would you like this evening, madame?

I think I'll have the filet of sole, please.

And a glass of Sauvignon blanc.

Great choice.

- There you are! Bon soir. - Look who's here.

It's been too long.

Yes, well...

She can tell you the shoot has been...

It's been a little rough here.

Uh, but, uh, it's only five more weeks.

Only? I will take good care of your lovely wife.

Please, please do.

- Au revoir. - Au revoir.

Well, for a for a place that has bison burgers

and grits on the menu,

they have a pretty good wine list.

I'm gonna get the New York steak,

"rare but not cold,"

a side of spinach and get this pinot.

- Great choice. - In a bottle.

Thank you.

What?

What's with that sheepish little grin?

There's a man over there.

He keeps looking at me, like he thinks he knows me.

But he doesn't.

He wants to.

Who can blame him?

Look at you in that dress.

This is the time where you give him that look that says...

my 400-pound wrestling championship husband

is about to walk through the door any minute

and kill him.

- Give it to him. - Oh, yeah right.

- I'm so practiced at that look. - Come on.

Well, give it to him.

I... Wait...

Like that? Like...

That's way to pretty.

Like this.

- Yeah. There we go. - Sir?

Hey, won't you meet my beautiful wife.

Isn't she something?

Wow, you are beautiful.

Is that right? Heh.

Yeah, she is. He's right. You are.

Heh. I think it worked.

Thank you.

These Saturday night dates, babe.

They're not enough for me.

I know.

You didn't call me last night to say good night.

Shit, I'm sorry, I...

I got in so late,

and I'm coming down with something.

Can you hear me, do I sound all stuffed up?

A little bit.

Yeah, I think I'm getting

an ear infection. I can only hear

in one ear right now so... I-I didn't even eat.

I passed out, I went right to sleep, so...

Would you please...

Please come to Montana?

I-I-I don't...

ever get used to not being around you.

We've done this plenty of times and it just never,

it just never feels right, so please come.

Remember, the last time I came on your location?

- Yeah. - I read three novels,

and according to my Fitbit, I walked 70 miles.

You make that sound like it's a bad thing.

Well, it's good for my health obviously, but...

With the girls both finally away at school

and the catering business is starting to take off...

You know, yesterday, I had an order

for 300 chocolate covered strawberries.

I ate all the ugly ones. It was a big mistake.

Oh, no.

You and chocolate.

No good.

I don't know what happens to me around chocolate.

I just... I'm a goner.

You once you told me

I was better than chocolate.

Remember?

No, I've never said that.

Yes, you did.

In your dreams.

You did.

Come to Montana and I'll remind you.

You have a whole cast and crew who revere and adore you.

Yeah, yeah... I'm the producer, remember...

I write the checks.

So yes, they adore me.

Oh, thank you.

- May I...? - Thank you.

Start while your steak's hot.

Your Sauvignon blanc, madame.

Perfect.

So, c'mon then,

tell me, what's the craziest thing that happened this week?

The craziest thing.

Well, we were, uh...

We were shooting trying to get a shot of the actors

sailing on the lake at sunset.

And suddenly the follow barge, it starts to sink.

And water is coming in the boat, yeah.

So, we take all the equipment and the crew,

and we go to the other side of the boat.

That side starts going down.

We barely made it to the shore

and we totally lost the sunset shot.

It is pretty funny, actually.

Yeah, I guess,

if I wasn't responsible for the budget.

We went over again. So...

- Filet of sole. - ...that.

- Bon appétit. - Thanks.

Yeah, well, I kind of rode my own sinking barge this week.

You know that bit in the front entry

that we patched over twice?

- Yes... - Well, it opened up again.

And Rafael found a kind of subterranean geyser.

So, what do we do now?

Rafael is gonna come back tomorrow to discuss it.

To surprises.

Surprises.

Oh, look who it is.

- Jack? - Hey.

I think I lost you.

Oh, I can still see you.

This is Cheryl, she works in the hair department.

Hi. I still can't see anything.

- But hello. - See us?

Uh, just... Yes. Hi.

We're... We're actually... We're on a date. Heh.

Oh, that's so cute!

I need to do that with my guy.

Nice to meet you.

And you.

Great to see you.

Have a good dinner.

Small town...

Mmm, the steak is...

perfect.

It's perfect.

How's the wine?

I think you have something in your teeth.

Really?

Smile.

Yeah, it's... You got a piece of spinach.

- Where? - There, the second...

On this side or this side?

- This side. - Which side?

This side.

- This way? - Yeah.

- Bingo. You're on it. - Oh, I can feel it hang on.

Feel it?

Mmm.

What was that?

It's bread.

Do I look like a woman who wants more bread?

Yes.

Is there something you're not telling me?

Yeah.

I'd like butter too, and olive oil.

Well, just if I saw you,

this beautiful woman sitting alone,

I... I might wanna send you something over.

Like what?

Like a glass of great champagne.

Mm-hmm.

To my handsome professional wrestler husband

who can still surprise me.

Surprise me

and come to Whitefish, Montana.

Your tenacity has made you a success

and I do admire it.

If you come, I'll make my special pancakes

and we'll spend Sunday, the whole day, in bed.

- Come. - Unless, of course,

you get called out to urgent production meetings,

or location scouts, or director breakdowns...

And if I do, I'll come right back.

- So, I get called away... - I will come!

I promise.

And for you, madame, our dessert menu.

Thanks.

We having dessert?

You know what I'm craving?

Think I have an idea, Mr. Subtle.

Some of your strawberries dipped in chocolate.

That would be fantastic.

What if I told you I'd saved you some?

Ah, I'd say seeing is believing.

All finished, sir?

Yes, I am.

- How about dessert? - Please.

I've been good all week, which is hard here.

I say we should go for it.

And I've been doing my 10,000 steps,

so why don't we have our favorite,

creme brulee?

Oh, I don't know if they make that in Whitefish.

Can you ask the chef if he can make me a creme brulee?

I'm not sure what that is, sir.

It's a custard with a caramelized top.

It's really easy.

Uh, sorry, all we have is what's on the menu.

Uh, but we do have Campfire Pie as our specialty.

Did you hear that?

Campfire Pie.

What's in that?

- Well, it has... - You know what, don't tell me.

Surprise me.

Hold on, the girls.

Aww, they knew we had a date.

Your mother and I are in a hot FaceTime date right now.

- Can we talk later? - Oh, wow, you and Mom

are really leveling up in the romance department.

- Okay, bye. - That's funny.

How about Lisa saying we raised the bar on romance.

Heh. I love that they think this is real romance...

Should we be worried?

No, not at all, it is real romance.

Dare I ask how the Campfire Pie is?

Well, It's the stuff of ghost stories.

Whoa...

How's the creme brulee?

Not as good as mine.

I'll make it when the girls are back for Christmas.

That's a great idea.

Ahem. You know, babe,

I'm... I'm fading.

I'm sorry to be an old guy,

but I had to wake up at five

for a location scout this morning

and I think I should call it.

Okay... You should go and crawl into bed.

Yeah.

I'm happy you didn't cancel our date though.

No, never.

Drive safe, okay, you've had a few drinks.

Oh, are we counting now?

Why don't you ask your buddy in the corner?

He's long gone. You can sleep well.

Good. I love you.

I love you too.

Kiss me.

Give me a real kiss.

I love you too, but I'm not doing that.

Why not? I don't care who's looking.

Yeah, well I do.

Give me a quick kiss.

Oh, for God sake.

- Mwah. - Mwah.

- There. - I love you.

- Good night. - Good night.

How much of a "bigger problem"?

The city inspector says it's not a real emergency.

He won't come for two weeks.

Seriously?

Two weeks before you can even start?!

If you're lucky.

Thank you.

Oh, one minute.

Okay.

I'm ready.

Thanks.

Hello? Babe?

- Hi. - Are you okay?

I was just missing you.

Uh, I'm totally asleep.

Can we just... talk in the morning?

I'm at your front door.

What?!

I'm here.

Are you. Are you kidding me?

- Are you serious? - Heh. Yes.

Come on, it's freezing out here.

Hello.

Hold on a sec...

Just...

Surprise!

- Hey. Hi. Hi. - Hi.

Come in.

Hey... what a surprise.

Yeah...

She forgot her shoe.

Have a sense of being calm

and relaxed as you start this program.

Exhale and feel any tension

in the neck and shoulders release.

Now bring your arms, palm face up by your chest.

Extend the arms forward,

and then spiral around to your sides.

And a nice deep breath

as you open the chest.

And bring your hands down to your sides.

Now, as you bring your arms up,

have the wrists cross, come up to the chest.

And the arms come up to the sides and down.

So, you're not dead.

Why did you leave like that?

I had to get out of there.

Apparently so...

I ate the rest of your risotto and both desserts.

I just wanted to do something, without reporting to you.

Huh.

You want to know the real reason?

Yeah. I-I don't know.

I want a girlfriend.

Someone fun to play with.

Do you have somebody in mind?

No. You know I love you.

Well, we've had some...

pretty great play dates over the years.

Yeah, but now you're too busy

with your needy girlfriends, your book clubs,

your garden events,

and that bocce game every friggin' Friday night.

But-but you have your guy friends to play with.

Okay, so what would you want

your girlfriend to do with you today?

Today?

She'd go sailing with me.

But you don't like to sail.

Oh John, it isn't that I don't like to sail.

It's that it makes me sick.

I feel the same way about ballet,

but I've gone with you for the past 41 years.

Okay.

What time?

Huh?

What time do we sail?

Hey, I was just using that as an example.

I'm going to take an extra Dramamine;

I'm going to make a picnic lunch.

How about that crispy fried chicken that you love?

Really, you'd go?

You know I love that chicken.

I can't remember the last time you made it.

I was saving it for a... a last supper.

You're going to love today.

It'll be really great out on the boat.

Ah, sorry I'm late.

Hi.

The garden tour starts in half an hour.

- What are you doing? - And I tried to call you.

I'm going sailing with John.

Since when do you sail?

Since he went to the city last night alone

and stayed there 'cause I'm no fun anymore.

Oh, brother...

Haven't you earned your free "no fun" pass by now?

Apparently, it expired.

Listen, Diana, he's at that dangerous age

when successful men trade in their old wives...

- Oh, please. Oh, please. - ...for young hot Asian girls

- that specialize in... - Okay, okay. Stop.

- Stop! - I'm just saying.

What can you do?

You go sailing.

So, when did he buy a sailboat?

I thought it was into that vintage Porsche.

No, no, Mustang, that was the year before.

Last year was the boat.

Does he even know how to sail?

I don't know, we've never been out alone.

Oy. I do not get a good feeling about this.

Well, I'm not going on the Titanic.

Can't you find something else to do fun together?

He says I specialize in saying "no", so today I'm saying "yes."

Hmm... Well, I wouldn't do that for any man.

And that's why you're alone.

Blessedly!

Alright, I am calling the Coast Guard

if I don't hear from you by six.

Can I help you, my man?

No thanks, my man.

- I got it. - Okay. You sure?

Yeah, I got it.

Can't get over what a good day it is out here.

It's gorgeous.

And I'm not seasick so far. Heh.

I topped off your gas for you, my man.

Okay.

Oh, perfect, thank you.

Ah! Damn!

Oh, you okay?

Ah, it's tiller...

You're all set.

And dude, you got a fast boat.

Oh, yeah. Heh.

Got some change?

No, man.

Thanks, man.

Have a great day.

Good job, honey!

Take the tiller, honey.

Oh!

♪ Oh, we sail the ocean blue In our saucy ships of beauty ♪

Not the kind of thing you do in a book club.

Looks like we'll have to wait for the wind to come up.

Oh well, it's such a lovely day.

Who cares.

How about we have a look around.

Wow, honey.

We have the lake to ourselves, it looks like.

Except for that big fella over there.

Oh, that's actually a Great Blue Heron.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

It has extra feathers under its chin

that it combs with a special claw on its middle toe.

So, how'd you know all that?

Don't tell me you've become a "birder" now.

No, but I read about Herons

in that boring book club you refuse to join.

Look, I just don't want to join a book club

or ever have a schedule again.

You don't get it?

If I want to go to a baseball game,

I want to go to a baseball game.

Or maybe go to the antique car show in Monterey.

Maybe just sit around on the porch all day and play chess.

I want a girlfriend who wants to do my stuff.

And what if your girlfriend wants to do her stuff?

You mean like lunches with girlfriends,

hair appointments, bocce?

I thought you would love playing on the bocce team.

I joined for us.

But who wants to sign up a guy with a bad knee?

Someone who's always looking for interesting new things

for us to do together. Like that Moroccan cooking class.

Yeah, that was a good idea, except I got heartburn!

Remember, I signed us up

for that wood shop class to build

those bookshelves you wanted.

Well, that was just great until...

I saw that guy get his fingers cut off right in front of me.

That was an isolated accident.

It scared me.

But you could've told me that.

You just quit.

If you looked in my eyes, I think it would be obvious.

You've changed, you know.

Thank you for noticing.

Our kids are gone. We have an empty nest.

We're both retired. We have to course correct.

And if your idea of doing that

is getting a girlfriend, just go for it!

What are you doing?

I'm eating my stuff.

Well, hey, I'm hungry too.

Let's find a place to drop anchor and have lunch.

Here, come take the tiller

and I'll go get the anchor. Come on.

Oh! My knee!

Alright, come get the tiller.

Sorry, babe.

It's... It's up front there.

Okay.

I'd appreciate it if you'd call me "Girlfriend."

Thank you.

Now, just drop it in when I say.

Now!

Oh!

Some sailor you are.

I think I have great potential.

Don't you think?

I'm really sorry that wood shop class scared you, Di.

Not as much as your phone call this morning.

I have something for us.

- Yummy. - Yum-me.

Whoo!

As old Marines say, "Here's to us and those like us.

Dammed few left."

Now, why do you say that?

It's true!

We never would have met if it were now.

Everybody finds their perfect soulmate online.

I mean, nobody gets married

because they're young and pregnant, like us.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, they didn't both love antique car shows

and garden tours.

That's it, they'd never meet.

Yeah, they would've already hit delete.

Yeah. Heh.

I guess we really are dinosaurs.

Can you imagine what our bio's or whatever they call 'em?

Profiles. Oh, here's yours:

"Tyrannosaurus wants to meet another 'Saurus',

preferably blonde with big boobs." Heh.

"She must have the ability to organize his closet,

"and tolerate Godzilla-like snoring

and make crispy fried chicken."

- "He must accept book clubs, garden events... - Oh!

- "...and girlfriends with endless relationship problems. - Mmm. Stop.

Stop, stop, stop! Heh.

And appreciate sincere loyalty."

Wow, good save.

It is so peaceful here.

I'm not even seasick today. Heh.

Oh! Oh, honey.

I guess I can't do fried anymore.

Maybe not on a boat.

Here.

Do you want to think about heading back?

Yeah, I'm really tired.

I couldn't sleep last night.

Maybe because I'm too used to sleeping with you.

Yeah, let's go.

Okay.

I just... Ugh.

I can't do it anymore.

My damn shoulder.

It's fine. It's no problem.

Why don't you call that dock boy?

There's no damn signal.

Well...

I mean, honey, look where we are.

It's a beautiful afternoon.

Sorry, babe.

Damn!

I wanted this to be a perfect day.

Honey...

Do you remember that time when we were in college

and we were stranded in that mountain cabin

waiting for the snowplow to come?

Do you remember what we did?

Come on, baby, come sit with me.

I want you to relax.

I want you to have a nice day.

I wonder what a "girlfriend" would do

in a situation like this?

We got a problem here.

I know we have a problem, my gosh.

Oh!

Ugh. Hi! Hi!

Hey!

Hi.

Wait... Hey!

Hello!

Hey, come help!

You got a problem?

Yeah, I can't get the outboard started.

I... I got a bad shoulder.

I got it.

- You're out of gas. - What?

We had a full tank when we left the marina.

Yeah, but this little tank is so small

I'm surprised it got you this far.

These little motors are only meant to get you in and out of the dock.

"He likes Hemingway, certain lingerie,

"crispy fried chicken he can't eat anymore.

And can be an ass."

"She adores his true sailor's heart

and his love of adventure."

"He adores her moves... all of them."

Circle the right arm around

and down the midline.

Circle the left arm around and down the midline.

This creates inner balance and harmony.

Well, that, that feels kind of good.

- Mm-hmm. - Is there a class we can take...

...girlfriend?

Here we go.

Oh, hello.

Hey. Hi.

Come in.

Is this seat taken?

- No. - Great.

- Thank you. - What's your name?

- I'm Jackie. - Oh.

- What's yours? - Wendy.

- Nice to meet you. - Thank you.

Oh. Excuse me.

- Oh, please. - Jackie, hi.

Ah, well, it looks beautiful, doesn't it?

So, let's all toast in my mom's way.

Oh, and say your names.

I'm Caroline.

I'm Anne.

Remember what Claire would say

if we didn't really look in each other's eyes?

"Seven years of bad sex."

Been there, done that.

Oh! I would like any sex.

Marlene.

Joanne.

Patty.

I'm not taking any chances.

Nancy.

Jackie.

Wendy.

Mary Kay.

To mom.

To Claire.

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

I have been living on the East Coast

pretty much since I was 18

and I just didn't get back to see my mom

as much as much as I wanted to or should have.

But we finally planned a trip together,

in September, to France.

We started planning it after my dad died.

And then we thought we'd go after I passed the bar,

and then after she finished her book,

then I got a job and I had to start right away.

And we were waiting for the right time.

There's no such thing.

No, it's not.

I know this vase!

We got this in a little funky thrift shop in Kentucky.

- Yeah! - And those peonies, her favorites.

You know, I actually think that

Claire discovered peonies with me.

One of our dreaded regulars we had

at the diner that we worked at

would bring us some from his garden

instead of tipping.

We hated him,

but we grew to love those flowers.

After our sophomore year at college working as waitresses

at a resort in upstate New York.

Our immediate goal, besides making money,

was lose our virginity.

What!

Just get it over with.

We wanted to know what it was like.

Oh, my God!

The endless lecture series

I got from Mom about how I needed

to "save myself for the right guy,"

and there she was planning some random...?!

Of course. She needed to teach you ethics...

Even though she didn't always practice them.

She was your mother. Part of the job description.

So, she actually...?

Mm-hmm.

He was older... about 24, experienced.

And I got some jerk from Wisconsin

we'll just call "the five second man."

I'm sorry.

Um... Anybody want to know how Claire and I met?

Yes.

We were interns at Vogue together.

She was an assistant to the photo editor,

who happened to be a total bitch.

We both hated her and bonded deeply over that.

Nothing like having someone to hate together, right?

But then we discovered

that we were both dating the same guy.

What?

I mean, he was awfully cute, and he did have attributes.

But he was just too boring for either one of us.

And anyway, she met your father shortly after that, so...

But we always loved to toast Rodger,

because he brought us together.

I can't believe it's been

only a little over a month.

Feels like...

I don't know what it feels like.

There's nothing to compare it to.

And what about you, honey?

Me?

How are you?

Well, every morning when I wake up,

I still can't believe it.

But I've been so busy... there's been so much

to take care of, and...

Excuse me. Heh.

Sorry, my plane was very late,

and the Uber driver was ignorant!

Everyone...

this is Rose Simon.

Bonjour.

It's a pleasure to be here.

Anne, Bonjour!

Oh...

I brought some chocolate for you from Paris.

Oh, thank you!

Rose, some wine?

Oh, thank you. Yes, please.

We've just been getting to know each other.

There's plates and food. Please help yourself.

Yes. Thank you.

I know what I'm going to have later.

I think I'm done.

So, Rose...

we've just been telling stories about Mom.

On the plane, I was thinking about

the first time I met Claire.

She floated into my shop one afternoon.

I had a little boutique in the Marais district of Paris.

She would come in and admire things

and often buy a scarf or two.

Or 43...

Ah... We shared a passion

for beautiful things in many forms...

gardens, contemporary art...

We'd stroll over to the...

the Pompidou Centre and explore for hours.

I tell you, she would not tolerate

any "French attitude", not even from me.

Speaking of museums...

Yeah, Mom collected all kinds of art.

Yeah, and I see she put yours front and center.

This was her favorite ribbon.

I see she continued to use it, huh?

Yes.

It was for my pigtails

and it was always on my tap shoes.

- I know that ribbon. - I recognize it too.

She hand-picked every truffle for you.

Your mother brought those chocolates to my wedding.

Well, that's what we called it anyway,

but it was not legal then.

Uh, my wife Alice and I got married

in the desert outside of Taos.

And I had invited your parents,

and your mom said that your dad couldn't come,

but she accepted,

which, I swear to God, I didn't expect.

There comes your mother,

all on her own, middle of nowhere,

impeccably dressed

in this very conservative suit,

holding a box of those chocolates.

She was my most conservative friend,

but also my most accepting and supportive.

For me, too.

Claire was completely there for me when...

when my husband came out

and left me and the kids for his boyfriend.

- Oh, no. - Oy!

I was blindsided.

I really didn't see it coming at all.

Claire called me.

I was in publishing at the time

and we were talking about a book sale to England.

She heard the tone in my voice.

The next morning, she jumped on a plane,

flew to L.A. and took the kids while I went off to the desert.

Just remember staring out over the landscape.

I couldn't even think at first.

But being alone for those two days was exactly what I needed.

By the time I got back, she turned into bloody Mary Poppins.

The kids had planted carrots

in the back garden, and they'd been exploring tide pools

and making cookies.

- They were having the best time. - Aw...

Claire gave me what I so needed those couple of days

as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

She... She just knew.

And later she introduced me to someone else

who'd been in a similar situation.

She was a life saver.

I can't believe I just barfed all that out

in a room full of strangers.

No! It's why we're here.

You know, I just feel that Claire brought us all together.

- You know what I mean? - Oh, yes.

I worry that my daughter won't be able to trust men.

She's already made some horrible boyfriend choices.

Oh, you and my mom must have had a field day on that one.

- She loved your boyfriend. - No kidding!

When we broke up, she went into mourning.

Oh, but she just wanted you

not to be too hasty, to take a last look.

- Right. - She did think a lot of him.

Yeah, she made that crystal clear.

And that I wasn't getting any younger.

I think she was afraid

she wasn't getting any younger

and she wanted to be the fun grandmother,

not the old granny.

Yes, and it wasn't that

she wasn't proud of your success.

It's just that she didn't want you to miss out.

Yeah, right.

Are you doing okay?

Fine.

Of course.

Oh, that sounded exactly like Claire.

She would always say, "I'm fine."

Marriage, check.

Work, check.

Except when it came to you.

She was only as happy

as your last conversation with her.

That's just it.

Our last conversation,

I, um... We...

Excuse me.

She mention that last conversation?

- Yeah. - It was a big disagreement.

Yeah, was.

Sorry.

You okay?

It's alright.

I've just been sitting here listening to you all,

and I feel like you're talking about someone

I didn't know.

It's ironic the way Mom was there

for all of you, so compassionate.

- For me, not so much. - Oh, sweetie.

My life just always seemed really messy compared to hers.

Honey, well, life is messy.

But your mother knew how to clean up very well.

- Yeah... - She didn't want to burden you.

I wish she had! That's the thing,

that's what distanced us.

She never told me anything.

Maybe her not telling you some things

was her way of showing her love.

What does that mean?

I mean that...

Well, I can think of one example.

- Don't. No. - I know it's inappropriate.

- Yeah, it is. - It's okay. What is it?

It's inappropriate.

No, honestly, um...

Honestly, it makes me too ashamed, so...

No really, I mean...

- I really want to know. - Marlene, don't go there.

How embarrassing could it really be,

after your story about Rodger?

It was right after Rodger.

I think the lines got a little blurred for me

with Claire and I...

I had a thing with, with Tom.

My dad?

What do you mean by "a thing"?

A nothing thing,

a one night, drunken, million years ago,

deeply regrettable thing, that I wish

that you mother never found out about, but...

Tom told her everything because he didn't want there

to be any secrets... between them.

Jesus, poor Mom...

Yeah, she was, she was very angry.

And very upset.

She said it made her even more upset

because I'd been so dishonest about it.

See, your mother had a very strong moral compass

and she followed it.

And... and I never really had that, so...

How was she still your friend?

Well, it was a long time ago,

and, uh, we almost didn't get past it.

But she was determined to forgive me.

She saw forgiveness as kind of a spiritual achievement.

And, uh...

And this was sort of a life lesson for her,

something like that, you know...

Anyway, she did forgive me, so...

I just didn't really forgive myself, so...

Why didn't she tell me?

Oh, because you adored your father.

She didn't want to tarnish that relationship.

Let's face it.

Tom was irresistible. Heh.

Did you sleep with him too?

What I meant was that...

Claire was aware of how women responded to him.

Men too.

Yeah.

He just...

He lit up a room.

I'm really sorry, Caroline.

Tom adored

Claire.

They were soulmates, really.

You know, in France, we say:

"On ne fout pas un mariage en l'air à cause d'un coup de cul",

which means, you don't throw away a marriage

because of a piece of ass.

- No offense. - None taken.

Marriage, well, love,

it's bigger than a bedroom.

They never lost their magic the way most couples do.

I always thought they were so romantic,

in an old-fashioned way.

He'd come home from work, and she'd put on perfume.

He'd make martinis

and lift her up for a kiss.

Is that what that photo is?

Yeah, I took that.

Well, you have your mother's eyes and her eye.

Okay, well,

I'm a lawyer, as you know,

and I have some questions, I was hoping to answer today,

since clearly you all knew my mother

a lot better than I did.

I've been going through her things.

I found her wedding dress in the attic,

which I didn't know she kept.

And I noticed that the seams had been let out at the waist.

You were at the wedding...

Stress eating?

No.

She was pregnant.

So, my Catholic mother who told me

she had a flu at her wedding was pregnant with me.

She always planned to tell you.

Did my dad know?

She told him on their honeymoon.

That must have been a surprise.

Well, I don't think either one of them

wanted to start a family immediately.

But Caroline, when you were born,

he was totally in love, and a natural father.

When my brother was born "too soon,"

my mother was called "a sinner." Heh.

I mean, it was hard to shake off

that indoctrination in those days.

Now, it's almost the opposite extreme.

My daughter and her boyfriend

got married only after they'd had two kids.

And my granddaughters were her flower girls.

In France, you know, couples often

don't get married until their children

are teenagers, if at all.

Did my mom ever say how she felt about it?

Oh, If it wasn't for all that Catholic guilt

your grandmother threw at her,

- I don't think she would've given a damn. - Mm-mm.

She was so happy

being pregnant with you.

Well, thank God for us old hippies

who lightened everything the hell up!

- And feminism made a dent. - Yeah.

My mom always said that it passed her by.

She had three kids, and my father

never changed a diaper or did a dish.

We were lucky to be born when we were.

Yup. That's right.

My mother told me a horrific story

about her roommate who got pregnant

and went to Mexico and came back hemorrhaging.

Something that will always define my friendship with Claire

was something she did for me many years ago.

I was 42 and pregnant.

I have a friend that age who's been trying for years.

Yeah, well, I wasn't trying.

I already had two kids, teenagers.

I couldn't handle an infant.

And my husband, he'd never understand.

It would have been the end of us... and the family.

But if I kept it, it would have been the end of me.

I needed someone to trust

that could take me to the clinic...

and stay with me,

and I asked Claire, and...

And she did this for me.

Was one of those perfect spring mornings.

The plum trees were in bloom along the streets.

So beautiful.

And there I was, about to end a life.

I asked Claire to stop, turn around,

and she looked at me and said...

"It's time for you choose your life."

I cried for a week.

She called me every day.

It's never easy to make that choice.

No.

I'm so sorry, that must have been horrible.

Yeah, that's one thing my mom and I always agreed on.

So, Wendy,

do you want to tell everyone how you met Mom?

Ah... let's see.

A couple of years ago, Claire sat next to me on a flight.

And we just hit it off.

- Are you a doctor? - Yes.

Yes, I heard about you.

But look, on the way back,

all your mother did was talk about you.

And what you do... and why two vital women

would "choose" such hard careers.

Yeah, yeah.

I know, she was always on me

about why I didn't go work at a firm

that does "fun" stuff instead of social justice.

Well, she got it though, she really got it.

- She did. - You know, while we're landing,

she pulls out her checkbook writes a donation

to one of the clinics I was overseeing.

She volunteered there too, right?

She did, yeah. And we would have... Oh...

We would have lunch together afterwards and...

your mother was curious about me.

She was curious about my work

and about me being African American.

She was not afraid to ask very specific questions.

We had the, the best conversations about race

and everything that, you know, I have to deal with

and what it means to me

and how it affects me on a daily basis.

I mean...

it was okay to be uncomfortable.

Anyway, she also pushed me to have my very first massage.

Yes, I agree with that.

I just didn't, you know, realize how depleted I was.

And your mom, she cared about my well-being.

- Was the massage with Mitzi? - Yes, it was.

Well, don't they always say

put your own oxygen mask on first?

- That they do. - Can't help anyone.

Oh, that's Robert,

he lives in the basement apartment.

Oh, is Claire's book club still meeting?

Nope.

Sorry to disturb your ladies' lunch.

Or knitting club.

- This package just arrived. - Oh...

And I wanted to let you know there's also a car blocking

the neighbor's driveway

and the meter maid is at the top of the block, so...

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- That might be me. - Ah.

I'll be back.

It's for Mom.

Oh, it's California poppy seed.

She would scatter them

- in road dividers, vacant lots. - Yes.

- Yes, she did do that. - Yeah, she used to stop her car

on the side of the highway and get out and throw seeds.

As a kid, it was so embarrassing.

I think that she did that

on the first day that we met in Charleston.

- Really? - Yeah. So, I was an aspiring singer,

but I couldn't make any money at it,

so I was working as a photographer.

And I think that was Claire's first book,

um, "Gardens of the South".

Aw, that first night,

I took her to this funky little honky-tonk,

and we bonded over barbecue.

She found out that I was a songwriter

and she asked me to sing one of my songs for her.

But, you know, I was so worried

that this poised Yankee lady

would think that I was some southern fried hick.

But... I sang for her,

and, uh, after I was finished,

she just looked at me and she said,

"What are you doing taking pictures

when you can sing and write songs like that?"

Oh... Mom.

That's so sweet.

I find I keep talking to her like she's still here.

She is.

I talk to my mom all the time.

She's still telling me what to do.

Caroline, your mother

was insanely proud of you,

graduating cum laude and passing the bar.

I think she even may have

been a little intimidated

by all your accomplishments,

and maybe even a little envious

of your young, single life.

Mom, jealous of me? No.

I think that she had thought

that you'd done so much for the world...

and that she wanted to make sure that you were taking care of your own world too.

You know, she didn't want you to put that on hold.

And for what it's worth,

she thought you'd make a great mom.

I can't believe I didn't get a ticket.

It was so close.

Oh! You're so lucky.

It's so impossible around here.

So, Patty...

you went to grade school with Mom, right?

Oh...

This is us in first grade!

Well, that some connection, losing your teeth together.

Yeah, but hers grew in faster and straighter.

Aw, so cute.

We were best friends at Sacred Heart-less.

She protected me in what was known

as "penmanship class"

from Sister Jean-Marie's "knuckle rapping."

You know, they don't even teach handwriting anymore.

They don't?

Three years ago, we found each other on Facebook.

We realized we were each other's oldest friend.

I've lived in Dayton since 5th grade.

I guess I'm her country bumpkin friend.

I have to admit, being around all you accomplished women

is daunting for this Ohio gal.

- Oh, no. - Oh...

Claire came to visit last March.

We went on this long walk... winter was just thawing.

We ended up having an...

unexpectedly deep conversation about our mothers

and end of life issues.

I watched my mother die of Alzheimer's

for over five years.

And I still remember the day that she said,

"I know you're someone I love."

Mmm.

We both wondered whether or not

we had enough faith to face death.

She still had so much life to live.

Feels completely unfair,

really outrageous, really,

I'm totally furious!

Amen.

That's the ravaging part of a loss like Claire's.

You know, Claire and I went on a retreat last year.

Yeah, to a spa?

Nope... for creative writing.

Really?

Our first assignment was to write about

the "what ifs" in our lives.

What if we'd married different men.

What if we gone abroad and never came back.

You know, I found a manuscript with no title

in one of Mom's computer bags and nearly tossed it out.

But then I read the first few pages

and the style was so like the way she talked.

What was it about?

- I don't know. - Pardon?

That's all I read.

What the hell are you waiting for?

To be honest...

I was afraid to read more.

What were you afraid of?

Maybe she was writing about us.

I'm not ready to...

I get it.

I bet a lot of us have

unresolved "stuff" with our mom's.

No. Not me.

I know I do.

Well, you know what Claire would say...

"Just keep moving like you're dancing."

Oh... I don't know.

Excuse me. Heh.

That was Mom's Chi Gong instructor,

he came for her Thursday afternoon lesson.

He's been in China for the last two months...

I had to tell him.

Oh, Rose, do you want to open those chocolates?

- Oh! - Mmm...

These are from A La Mere de Famille,

the oldest chocolate shop in Paris.

And Claire's favorite.

Voilà.

- Gorgeous. - Bon Appétit.

- Oh, my. - I'm sorry if this is awkward,

but I know your mother died in an accident,

I never heard what happened exactly...

Oh, I sorry, I didn't realize that you didn't...

Me either.

Last month, Mom went to visit

her editor in Napa, Louise Greene.

Some of you may know of her, she's 82 going on 28.

Yes, I always said I wanted to be her when I grew up.

Amazing woman.

There was an unexpected rain and the roads were slick.

A big rig truck coming from the opposite direction,

it jackknifed...

crossed the center divider into oncoming traffic.

I was told she died instantly.

Well...

going quickly without pain

or illness or dread,

even though it was way too soon...

it's not all bad.

I called her on the way to work,

maybe 20 minutes before the crash.

I know from her phone log

I was the last person that she spoke to.

Oh, there must be some comfort in that.

None.

See, that's the thing.

We'd had that big "fracture" months before.

And then we'd come out of our corners

and taken the gloves off, and for a while,

we talked about everything else.

But that day, when I called,

I had a secret to tell her

she was not gonna believe,

and it was all her fault!

But I didn't want to tell her

on the phone while she was driving, so...

I waited.

And she said, "Oh, I love beautiful secrets."

She said it was a "beautiful secret?"

Did she call it "beautiful"?

You just said it.

Heh.

Oh, I hadn't remembered that until just now.

I haven't told anyone.

Honey, you know, wherever she is, your mom knows.

Why don't you... tell us.

I broke up with Michael after almost two years.

And she was really upset.

She seemed more upset for him than what I was feeling.

That's when we totally derailed

into a full-on blowout fight.

She let me know that she just "couldn't believe"

that after I'd done the school thing,

and the work thing so well,

I'd completely blown the "good man thing",

is what she called it.

Attempting to, you know, rationally explain to her

that it wasn't her choice, it was mine,

didn't go over well.

And I didn't stay civil for long either.

Well, it's natural, you were upset.

So, for weeks afterward,

she begged me to see Michael again.

She kept saying, "Just see him, meet for a little talk",

be absolutely sure that you are ready to let him go,

that I wasn't being impulsive.

I said no blanking way.

You can say "fucking."

I said no fucking way,

and I actually dated

some other guys, nice, boring guys.

Good for you. Boring is underrated.

Well, I ended up

in a moment of weakness or clarity,

I'm not sure which,

texting Michael to see if he wanted to meet and talk.

And...?

Well, we "met" all right,

but I don't think we said one word,

besides "Make sure it's locked",

and I left the next morning.

That day in May, when I called Mom,

was just moments after I found out

I was pregnant from that little talk...

...she insisted I have with Michael.

Why didn't I just tell her then?

Oh, sweetie.

And how is that "beautiful secret" doing?

- Oh, my goodness. - Oh, my goodness.

Michael must be thrilled.

- I haven't told him. - Oh...

I haven't decided what to do about it.

You mean about him or...?

Both.

You know that trip that you were going to take with your mom...

could be a really good place to, um, sort it all out.

Be a shame to waste those tickets.

I was going to offer them to you.

- Oh, no, no, no. - Absolutely not.

Why don't you take Michael?

Oh, heh, no way.

And you could get some talking done.

Oh, she's got you all thinking just like her!

It's a conspiracy!

Okay, moving on.

Come, I want to show you something.

So as some of you know, my mom liked to make altars.

Oh, her beautiful altars.

She made one for me with the kids when my husband left.

It was very healing for them.

Yeah, how she made one for me when I was preparing for the bar

and I always thought that was why I passed it.

It really got me through.

So I've started one for her here,

and I have some of her favorite objects,

and her books, and photographs.

That's why I asked you all to bring a remembrance today.

I was hoping we could all add to it.

Last January, Claire and I went to Stinson Beach.

And we each made a list of our regrets,

and tied them around a rock, and threw them in the ocean.

And then we sat in the sand, nipping from a flask of brandy,

making plans for this year.

I picked this up that day,

and it's wrapped with a prayer for Claire.

I just wrote a note to Claire.

It's sort of a thank you note.

This is a photo of me, my wife and our son Max.

Claire had bought him

his first pair of drumsticks.

Damn her. Heh.

This is Claire and me

at our first dance recital.

The teacher gave up on me,

but Claire was good, she kept on dancing.

We saw this beautiful Matisse exhibit together in Paris.

And Claire had particularly loved

this composition of two women,

and she said they looked like sisters,

and she'd always wanted a sister, so...

I'd say she got a lot of sisters.

Heh. Yes.

These are the children

in the kids' program that had never seen a dentist.

Claire was a donor and she came to visit them.

I'd like to make a donation in Claire's name.

Oh, I would too.

Thank you so much.

I will gladly accept. Thank you.

I'm going to miss our long talks

at our favorite restaurant, the Odeon,

where we would drink champagne and eat oysters,

and we'd have the best confessionals.

I promise you

I will always be here for Caroline.

Last August, Claire and I decided

we would meet and exchange what we'd written.

But then we decided we weren't ready.

So we started drinking wine.

How much wine, you ask?

Enough that we ended up lying down in my backyard,

shooting our manuscripts,

and each other, with these pistols.

It felt like the first time we first met,

and we felt so free.

These are lyrics to a song that I wrote for Claire.

Well, sing it!

Oh, I can't, I didn't bring my guitar.

Please sing it.

- I... - Please.

Oh...

♪ There are gifts In the love ♪

♪ There are gifts In the loss ♪

♪ Regrets are like rocks ♪

♪ That sink to the bottom ♪

♪ Free from the weight ♪

♪ A new road to cross ♪

♪ Now you're gone ♪

♪ But life goes on ♪

♪ Because love is what stays ♪

♪ Because love finds a way ♪

♪ Because love is the answer ♪

♪ At the end of the day ♪

♪ Because love is what stays ♪

♪ Because love finds a way ♪

♪ Because love will forgive ♪

♪ At the end of the day ♪

♪ Only love remains ♪

Aw, you guys.

Thank you.

I went into my mom's room this morning,

I was looking for something to wear.

This ring was her mother's

and I found this book of poems

that I gave to her for Mother's Day

a couple years ago.

I opened it at random and found these lines:

"Without warning you left me, But you returned..."

I feel like my mother has returned to me in all of you.

And now, from the "Claire Collection",

of the best scarves ever...

I know she would want you all to have one.

So please pick your favorite,

no fighting and let's have champagne.

- Oh, and Gloria, you have to drink this. - Thank you.

Gloria's been an invaluable part of our family.

As you have been "mi familia."

To Mom, and all of us who love her.

May her scarves wrap each of us in her magic.

To Claire.

Oh, we have to take a picture together.

Oh, I got that.

All you have to do is click right there,

- stand exactly where I'm standing. - Okay.

Alrighty, and I'm scooching over here.

Okay.

Everybody, smile!

You're not really going to let them go

just like that, are you?

What do you mean?

Okay, ladies...

You can't leave just yet.

There are tap shoes for every one of you Cinderellas.

As you know, she collected these...

From Goodwill's, garage sales, anywhere she was.

Yeah, she found a pair in Paris and made me dance with her.

Caroline, you're not really seriously gonna make us...

Oh, I seriously really am.

She is her mother's daughter.

- Ah, yeah. - Find your size.

Oh, gosh!

Step, step, up, shuffle, step, step.

A five, six, seven, eight...

Oh, yeah!

Is everyone okay?

Whoo!

Honey, there's no perfect life.

Maybe so.

But, for the first time,

feels possible to think about what to do with mine.

Mmm.

"Possible" is a good start.

Hey...

Caroline, I hope someday, you can forgive me.

I'll call you.

Okay, thank you.

Um, this is the advance to my new CD.

And I want you to know

that your mom's song is on there,

and that I wouldn't have been able to do it without her.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

When you decide what you're going to do,

will you let us know?

I will.

'Cause we're here for you.

Thank you.

Alright. Bye.

Don't wait for anything.

Yeah?

Okay.

Thank you.

Your mother gave me this, and I want you to have it.

Thank you.

Oh...

Oh. Hm.

We love you.

I love you too.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull