Original subtitles

It's funny about this thing.

When I look down at it everyday and..

...I'm almost surprised to see it there.

I think about what it means and about you.

And how long it took you to finally put it on.

Yeah, that, too.

We've been through a lot.

"A lot?"

Lois, salmon swimming upstream

haven't had the mating troubles we've had.

Yeah, well, now we're just an old

almost-married couple

and we'll be like this forever

you cooking, me watching.

What, you're never cooking?

Mm, it's not really something I do.

I thought it was just lack of time.

No, no. Lack of talent.

Well, I guess, there's all kinds of things about you

I still have to find out.

And me about you.

You don't have any really big surprises, do you?

Did I mention the flying?

I only marry men who fly.

Mm.

Hello.

Hi, Jimmy.

Yeah... I'm kind of busy right now.

Uh... yeah.

Okay. Fine. Fine, fine, fine. Bye.

Jimmy says that we have to turn on Channel 6 right now.

Uhh, wait, I was just about to find out

all this juicy stuff about you.

'Tonight, a top copy exclusive.'

'We take you live to the home of Miss Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.'

Yes, it's true.

I can remain silent no more.

I..

...had Superman's love child.

These years have been..

...so hard, you know.

I mean, 'course we've always hoped

Superman might give us a little loan

or somethin', you know, to help us get back on our feet

but, mostly I just want him to..

...see his boy.

'Hey, hey, hey. Hey.'

Turn that trash off.

What? Chief, you don't think there's a story here?

Jimmy, the story is the crazy times we live in.

When anybody can get media attention

with a cock-and-bull story like that.

Daily Planet, by the way

is not gonna waste one drop of ink on it.

Hey, C.K. What do you think, huh?

I mean, if I had Superman's powers, his looks

tight pants, women falling all over me.

I sure might be tempted, too.

Or not.

Probably not.

Wouldn't be something I'd think about.

Alright, can we get back to the news here?

Clark, the president of Tanzor's in town

for the signing the peace treaty with Fostonia.

They've been enemies for a century.

There's diehards on both sides

that don't want that treaty signed.

That's why I want you and Lois on it.

Now, how's the, uh, engagement thing coming along, by the way?

You two must be happier than pigs in slop, uh?

Oh, Lois, I was just saying how happy you two must be.

What? Oh.

I-I'm sorry, Chief. I just di-didn't sleep much last night.

Me, either.

Perry wants us to cover the president of Tanzor's arrival.

Fine.

Hey, Lois, what'd you think of that babe

who says she had a Superman's...

Jimmy.

Oh. "Babe."

Is she a babe? I don't.. Clark, do you think she's a babe?

I don't know. I-I barely noticed.

Whoa, you didn't notice? Hello?

How could you possibly..

...not notice?

You alright?

Lois, we talked about this last night.

I know.

Okay, so, we'll go cover the president's arrival

and try to forget that this whole thing...

Look, the story's as good as written.

The guy arrives, he waves, he says "Peace is good."

Surprise, surprise. It's not a good use of our time.

Oh? What might be a better use of our time?

Well, maybe we could, you know

check out this Leigh-Anne person.

No! Lois, Perry's right.

Covering it will just give her credibility.

This whole thing will be over tomorrow.

Well, see, I think that's naive.

I think our job is to expose her as a hoax

you know, to prove to the world that, that my fiancee

the man that I love would

would never do what this woman said he did.

Of course, he wouldn't. I-I-I didn't.

Lois, trust me, this whole thing is gonna die.

Yeah and I'm gonna be the one to kill it.

Perfect.

David Nemeth? Extra's covering this?

Hi, Lois, well, I've covered some tragedies before

in my time but this..

Oh, jeez!

I forget. Which one of you kind people did I say was next?

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hello. I'm Lois Lane.

Lois Lane?

From the Daily Planet?

Oh. Come in.

I feel a woman should tell my story.

- I'll be right with you. - 'No, wait, wait.'

Just keep repeating to yourself.

"Hoax, hoax, hoax."

Hoax, hoax, hoax.

'Mama, look!'

Jesse, honey, put it down.

Oh! Excuse me.

Well? Well?

I don't know. It's impossible!

Impossible. Impossible?

Why do you keep saying everything twice?

'Jesse, honey, help mama pick these things up.'

Uh, hi, Jesse.

I'm Lois. I'm here to be your mom's friend

so that she'll tell me the real, true story about your life.

I don't like you.

Oh. Oh, come on.

I'm sure you don't mean that.

Yes, I do.

I see.

I like him.

Wow! He's usually so shy around strangers.

'He's my pal.'

Well, shall we begin?

You want to play in my room?

'Sure.'

So..

...Jesse, you're pretty strong.

How'd you get to be so strong?

Want to play catch?

Gee..

...and you're so fast, too.

'We now bring you live coverage'

'of the Metropolis peace conference.'

'We're at the Tanzorian consulate building'

'where President Florio has just arrived.'

'Tomorrow he signs the peace treaty with Fostonia'

'with whom his country has a long history'

'of hostile relations.'

'Today's ceremonies include a welcome'

'from federal and local government officials'

'and a meeting with the secretary..'

Bad noise.

What noise, honey?

I don't hear anything.

Lois, I'll be right back.

Right this way, Mr. President.

Mr. President, are you alright?

Ye-ye-yes. Yes.

One of my men acted

very quickly and..

...wh-where did he go?

Hoo-hoo. Honey, he spoiled me somethin' awful.

Cheese from France

and chocolate from Switzerland.

'Course, you know, he can get to all those places

in just two shakes, you know.

Uh, ye-yes. I'm-I'm familiar with that.

But I'd just keep saying to him, "Super.." I'd say

I called him "Super."

"Super, honey, the gifts are nice"

"but I want you to love me like an ordinary man."

And you know what he would do?

He would... cook for me.

He-he would... cook for you?

Please, I beg you

don't ask about our intimate relations.

Suffice it to say

they don't call him "Superman" for nothin'.

- Sugar, you okay? - Uh, yes. Yes, I'm-I'm fine.

I mean, I can understand if he's no longer in love with me.

"A flame that burns so bright only burns so long."

But... I have my little boy to think about.

Uhh, you know, in-in fairness to Superman

y-you haven't really offered any hard proof

that he even knows you.

No?

What about, uh, this?

Now, don't you go printin' that.

National Inquisitor and Tattletale Weekly

they're fightin' for the rights to that, though.

It is unthinkable you failed today.

We didn't hire you for failure.

Now the old fool's canceled most of his public appearances.

Oh. But not all of them.

Fostonia is the historic enemy of my country.

There must be no peace treaty.

You are paying me to launch a nuclear missile

from your country which will destroy the capital of Fostonia.

Who is going to sign a peace treaty?

But you need the launch codes.

'And only our president has them.'

And security around him has been tripled.

Well, then I'll just have to be a little more creative, won't I?

I'll get the damn launch codes

as soon as I get my hands on a little super help.

Well, I know this is tough for you, Leigh-Anne

but... were you and Superman really in love?

Oh-ho, brother, can you believe

the whole country's running with this thing?

Well, still, these must have been

tough years for you though, huh?

Oh, it's so hard when your little boy turns to you

and he says, "Mama, why can I fly?"

"Why can I break steel bars over my head?"

"Why wasn't I hurt when Uncle Luke shot me?"

And you felt you just couldn't

keep this heartbreak to yourself?

Yes, my personal code of morality

would let me cover for Superman no longer.

You may quote me.

Well, this is television.

Lord help me, I pulled Lois off that

peace conference to cover it.

Oh, Lois, you got that Superman story yet?

I guess.

I know, honey, it's all a bit demoralizing

when one of our heroes falls.

You don't know the half of it.

You are aware there's a chance Superman didn't do this.

Now, Lois, you and I have been news people long enough

to know that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck..

...tastes good with plum sauce, it is a duck.

'What's a duck?'

Well, I was just telling Lois

she shouldn't let her friendship

with Superman cloud her

'professional objectivity.'

Why? Did she judge him and find him innocent?

Not exactly. The jury's deadlocked.

See, that's exactly why we shouldn't

put people on pedestals.

But, you know, I guess even Superman

is entitled to a checkered past.

So, what did you dig up on that kidnap attempt?

Uh, the Tanzorians think that it might be the work

of a radical group inside their own country.

Lois, I do not have a checkered past.

Perry's right, people shouldn't expect

more from Superman than any other guy.

Pretty sophisticated work for a radical group.

Word is, they may have hired that terrorist, Anonymous.

I-I thought we put this whole thing behind us?

Yeah, while your shadow's behind you and you can't shake it.

I thought they kicked Anonymous out of the United States.

He may have he kicked himself back in.

It's easy to do. He's a master of disguise.

No one's ever seen his face. No one knows his voice.

Lois, I can handle anyone else

thinking what they wanna think about me

but, you can't tell me that you think...

I don't know what I think.

What you do know

is that I love you.

But what about before?

I mean, neither of us was born

on the day we fell in love

so I guess I don't have

the right to get upset about something

that happened before then.

But it upsets me. It really upsets me.

And everywhere I go, it's all I hear, and it upsets me.

You mentioned that.

Lois, the thing is..

...I wouldn't lie to you.

See, the thing is, you did

every day, for three years.

And..

...and there's this.

The guys in the photo lab assure me it's authentic.

Lois, do you have any idea how many

thousands of people I've posed with?

Uh, do you have any idea how many toddlers

can balance a sofa on their pinkie finger?

Look, I'm-I'm tired and I'm pretty emotional.

And I just, I'm gonna go home and pace.

Okay, fine, then we can...

Alone.

I'm sorry. I just need to clear my head.

Jimmy!

Boy! I must be in trouble if the cavalry's here.

Oh! Hi, sweetie.

- Hi. - Oh!

- Are you okay? - Fine.

We never watch those tabloid shows.

- Hello, boy. - Hi.

But the Smallville press

has turned it's whole front page

over to Superman's love child.

I do not have a love child.

Of course, you don't.

- It's an impossibility. - It's laughable, really.

Laughable? Guys, come on. I mean..

I have dated.

- Ohh. - No, no, no.

What we mean is, we raised you to be responsible.

If anything like this did occur

we know you'd live up to your obligations.

And if you say this woman is not the mother of your child

she's not the mother of your child. It's just laughable.

- How's Lois? - Not laughing.

Oh, well, of course she'd be

bewildered by all this.

You just have to expect that.

'Well, you know Lois.'

'She wants an explanation for everything.'

And the only explanation that I can give her

on this whole thing is.. I don't know.

Mom, how old was I when I started... lifting couches?

Oh, gosh, honey, I think it was junior high

before you did any serious lifting.

And then it was rarely furniture.

You usually leaned towards kitchen appliances

the freezer, I think.

Maybe this kid's not even from earth.

Maybe I'm not the only person from Krypton here.

I.. Help me out here.

Clark. Clark, don't make yourself crazy.

There's no truth in this.

So what are you guys saying, that I should just

sit back and do nothing?

Of course, not.

We're here to support you

and fight this little hussy with everything we've got.

Mom!

Wow!

Son, science is on your side.

The answer is simple. It's DNA.

Hm.

DNA test?

They want Jesse to take a DNA test.

And that is exactly why

you need me and my law firm, Ms. Stipanovic.

Son, could you possibly

loosen your grip on Uncle Donald's leg? Ha ha.

Son? Son? Spunky, isn't he?

Oh, boy. Well, maybe I should hire you, Mr. Rafferty.

Up until now, my cousin Bobby Bob

he's been handling all my legal affairs.

But he's still in correspondence law school.

And they haven't mailed him the chapter on blood stuff yet.

And Jesse does seem to have taken a shine to you.

Yeah.. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

'Uh, Mr. Rafferty, as you can see'

that test is for later today.

Now, isn't there some sort of... writ

or judge-type thing you can do, just to delay it, you know?

Uh, my dear, you have nothing to worry about.

Son, the grip? I'm losing all feeling.

Uncle Donald, do you wanna play with my frog?

Uh, the test will either show

that Superman is the father or not.

And how's that last one, uh, a good thing?

Oh, well, I will bring in opposing experts

to argue that the DNA tests are inconclusive

or contaminated or the result of tampering

or part of a conspiracy.

Is that legal?

My dear, it's the backbone

of the entire legal system.

But we won't have to worry about that, will we?

Because the little tyke

is the son of Superman, isn't he?

Of course, yeah.

It is just that my family doesn't do so well on tests.

Aah! So cute.

How old is he?

'Superhero, Superzero!'

Superman!

Okay. Okay.

Okay!

All of you know me

and what I stand for

and... what I won't stand for.

I've always tried to protect the weak and the helpless

and that's why I'm here today..

...to protect this little boy from any more of this.

'Look! It's Jesse and Leigh-Anne!'

Alright, please, please, back up. Back up.

We're here for the truth

and not for publicity.

Hello. Hello, everyone. Hello.

Come on up, angel. Say hello to all the nice people.

Perry told me to cover this.

I hate it as much as you do.

The irony is

there's really only been one woman in my life

and she's wearing a ring.

Ho-ne-e-ey! Oh!

Oh ho ho ho! Oh!

Oh! I cannot stop myself.

As much as you've shunned me.

I still have love in my heart for you.

Oh! Look, angel, look. This is daddy!

Ms. Stipanovic, please...

Oh, darling, don't you be so formal!

You certainly weren't in your love letters

which I'm gonna be reading from tonight on Nightline.

'Go away! I don't like you!'

Hey, what are you doing! Aah!

I don't like them.

Uh..

Sometimes it's hard, isn't it?

Being different?

Sometimes it's... scary.

And sometimes... you get mad.

And it'd be easy to hurt people because you're so strong.

But... see..

...the cool thing is that we can do good for people.

And most people, Jesse

most people are good.

Even those crazy ones outside.

So..

'...any questions?'

Are you my daddy?

Hello, Superman. Jesse.

We obviously won't be drawing blood from you.

I take it Jesse's skin is also impervious to puncture?

Yes.

Though, why that is, I-I have no idea.

No, really. I-I have no idea.

You said you can do DNA tests with hair follicles. Correct?

That's right.

I-I talked to Jesse, and he's agreed to do the same thing.

Excellent!

We'll do our best to rush the tests along, Superman.

The results will be quite definitive.

Incontrovertible, really.

That's great.

And I can expect the results when?

Based on what I suspect to be the complexity

of your cell structure, uh... four to five months.

- A year, tops. - What?

'Hi, this is Clark Kent.'

'I'm not here, but leave a message'

'and I'll get right back to you.'

'Uh, Mr. Kent, this is Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.'

'I know you're a friend of Superman's.'

Um... please tell him it's urgent, I'll meet him

in courthouse park today.

At 3 o'clock, okay?

Thank you so much.

'Mama, where do you want this?'

Jesse, put that freezer down.

'Okay.'

- Hello. - 'Miss Stipanovic?'

- Mm-hm. - This is Superman.

I feel badly about today and I'd really like

to clear some things up.

Could you meet me in courthouse park at 3 o'clock?

I'd appreciate it.

Okay.

I'm glad we're finally gonna talk about this.

Yeah.

You first.

Leigh-Anne, what is it, exactly, that-that you want?

What every mother wants. A future for her son.

And that's commendable, but he's your son, not mine.

Do you have any idea what raising Jesse's been like?

Before I got pregnant, I had prospects.

I know you probably don't know this but I was a runner-up

in the junior miss stenographer pageant.

I-I didn't know that.

I had my sight set on being

a star search spokes model.

Now that's just a dream.

Leigh-Anne, a lot of people work

and raise a child.

Jesse's not just any child.

And... since he got the way he is, I just..

...I can't keep him in clothes, 'cause he grows so fast.

Can't keep a roof above our heads

'cause he just, he wrecks every place.

I can't keep a job

because... no day care center will have him.

Well, I'd like to help, if I could, but... how?

Well, you're a big celebrity.

How do you think?

Leigh-Anne, I don't have money.

I don't have credit cards or a shoe box full of cash.

Does this look like the wardrobe of a rich man?

Oh, dear.

My attorney said I'd have to file a lawsuit.

Well, then it'll be a lawsuit based on a lie.

I don't think I see your point.

Look. There's still time to get out of all this

before Jesse gets hurt.

Hurt him? I'm helping him.

We have a book offer.

We have a movie of the week deal.

There's a kid's clothing company

that wants to do a "Jesse" line.

I can give him the kind of life I never could have dreamed of.

I see the way people are making money out there.

Who am I, the last girl scout?

I don't think so. Unh-unh.

I'm sorry that you feel this way.

I-I thought you called me

because you changed your mind.

Me call you? You called me.

No, you left a message for me with Clark Kent.

No, I did not.

What's going on here?

Where's Jesse?

Jesse! Jesse!

He was with his attorney, Rafferty when you left him?

Yes, Mr. Rafferty said he was gonna babysit

and now they're gone!

Jesse!

My God! If anything happens to Jesse..

- Any clues? - Uh-uh. No.

'Okay, ma'am. Let me see if I have this right.'

You, uh, might wanna check this out.

I'm not sure what it is.

Some guys in a news van saw the lawyer, Rafferty

drive off a couple of hours ago.

Nobody thought anything of it.

Why would he do that?

Extortion, probably.

Oh, Leigh-Anne, we're gonna get Jesse back for you.

This is all my fault.

This is... all my fault.

It's strange.

I mean, he's not my son, but..

...I do feel close to him.

In a way that's..

...just a way I can't explain.

Maybe it's because

you lived what he's living.

Or maybe it's because

you're the most caring person I ever met.

And the most honest.

I amaze myself sometimes.

I'm so used to having to track down the truth.

Always thinking that things aren't what they appear to be.

I forget sometimes that the truth

is just... staring me right in the face.

And the truth is?

The truth is what you tell me.

And what I tell you.

Because that's the kind of relationship we have.

Lois.

The best day of my life

was the day that you found out

that I am Superman.

It meant... no more secrets.

I'm done hiding things from you.

I know.

Guess I'm just still getting used to that.

Come on.

'I don't wanna play that! I wanna play this!'

We're almost in.

Tanzor's missile system

has a highly sophisticated web

of alarms and shunts

that must be handled

with utmost care.

'Hey, kid, put that down!'

'I want mommy.'

'Mommy is still'

'at the toy store'

'buying you lots of surprises.'

'So we just have to wait a few more minutes.'

'Okay?'

- 'Throw me the ball.' - 'Okay'

- 'Here, Uncle Donald.' - 'No, kid! No!'

'Missile launch sequence activated.'

- I'm in. - What?

Oh, that's wonderful.

And now all you need are the launch codes.

And we'll have them.

Well, that was excellent work, my boy.

Excellent work.

Yeah, well, don't bother thanking me.

Just send the cash.

Good luck with the kid.

He was starting to give me a headache.

Really? Then by all means, take two of these.

Check's in the mail.

Okay, thank you.

Well, that's it.

There's no Donald Rafferty

at any law firm in Metropolis.

He may be faking more than his law degree.

What do you mean?

The forensic report just came back

on the stuff you found at Leigh-Anne's.

Sure has a distinctive smell.

Only to a supernose.

Anyway, it's the same kind of putty

used by professional make-up artists.

Or masters of disguise.

Like that certain master of disguise

rumored to be in Metropolis for the peace conference.

Anonymous.

You don't think he has Jesse?

Excuse me. I hate to be a bother.

But I just can't sit at home. Is there any news?

Uh, nothing that we can confirm.

But, everyone's looking for him, Leigh-Anne

especially Superman. Excuse me.

- C. - K, I got news.

Three listings for ding dong motels.

- Joplin, Missouri. - Never been there.

- What? - Uh, nothing. Go on.

Um, Lincoln, Nebraska

'and Traverse City, Michigan.'

Traverse City?

Isn't that where an airliner almost went down

about a year ago?

Yeah. Big electrical storm.

Superman kept the plane from..

...crashing.

Leigh-Anne, let me ask you

were you and Jesse on a plane over Michigan about a year ago?

That plane nearly crashed, didn't it?

Well, yeah.

You were sitting over the left wing, window seat?

Uh, Jesse was by the window.

It was his first time flying.

Superman rescued that plane.

Then he took pictures with some of the passengers.

Outside of the motel.

Well, I really ain't... worth much, am I?

Leigh-Anne, there's no question what you did

was really wrong..

...but anybody can see how much you love your little boy.

If Superman presses charges

they could take Jesse away from me.

I'm sure Superman thinks you've learned your lesson.

That'd be my guess.

Excuse me.

Clark. That electrical storm. A lightning bolt must have...

Hit me and transferred part of my powers

through the plane to Jesse.

Only other time it's happened is when I've actually been

touching someone, but obviously..

I was wondering why I felt so close to him, Lois. Now I know.

I'm responsible for the way he is.

I'm tired.

Quit your incessant com..

You take a nap when we get home, okey-dokey?

After our game, we'll have ice cream

and candy and jellybeans.

Okay.

You're next. Remember how we play this game?

- Hug? - Ohh!

'One more time, Mr. President.'

'I insist you give me'

'your nation's nuclear launch codes.'

Pretty please?

You are a crazy person.

Do, do what you want to me

but there will be peace between Tanzor and Fostonia.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I couldn't care less about your little peace treaty.

It's just that I'm being paid handsomely

to level your opposition.

Well, well, well

well, well, well

well, well, well.

Much as I love doing things the hard way

perhaps I'll have better luck doing things the easy way.

Truth serum.

- No. - Yes.

No, no!

Oh, yes.

Anonymous obviously has Jesse completely under his control.

There must be something on this tape that can help us.

Shh. Listen.

Red choo-choo.

- I don't hear anything. - I do.

Just before Jesse flew off with the president

he said something.

He said, "Red choo-choo."

Red choo-choo?

Well, I don't speak kid

but wouldn't you think that meant train?

Red train? Maybe they're leaving by train.

Maybe Anonymous has him stashed at a train yard.

'It's a shot.'

I'll check every train and train yard on the coast.

Don't go anywhere.

Miss Lane, Miss Lane.

Doctor Klein, he's got some news. Where's Mr. Kent?

Uh, he's helping Superman look for Jesse.

We think we got a lead.

Oh, thank you, God!

Oh, Doctor Klein, I already know the DNA results...

Listen, please!

As I was analyzing Jesse's hair sample

I noticed that it's molecular structure

varied throughout the strand.

Apparently, there's been a gradual, yet steady..

It's easier if I show you.

This end... is about a year old.

Now, this part is much newer.

So what are you saying? Jesse's losing his super-powers.

I'm afraid so.

Well, superman said that the transfer was imperfect.

So, maybe the results are temporary.

At the rate that he's changing

and with this final exertion.

Miss Lane, Jesse may be no safer right now

than an ordinary child.

Oh, God!

Leigh-Anne, we think we know

where Jesse is.

Before he left with the president

he said, "Red choo-choo."

And right now, Superman is flying

over all the train yards.

But that might not be the place at all.

Choo-choo is his word for train

but it's also his word for smokestacks.

- Smokestacks? - Yes.

They-they remind him of old

steam engines, so he uses

the same word for both.

I-if Clark comes back, tell him to meet me

'at the old metro chem plant.'

What?

Tell him to look for

a big red smokestack.

'Fif-fifteen alpha.'

'Fifteen alpha!'

'Twenty six omega.'

Twenty six omega!

'Fo-Forty two sigma.'

Forty sigma.

- 'Oh!' - 'Oh what?'

- Oh, my.. - Oh what?

No, no. Numbers!

Stop that! No singing!

'Numbers, President, Mr. President. Hey!'

'Hey! Hey! Numbers!'

'Get.. What is the co..'

'I'm getting frustrated. Really bad.'

'Oh, God! Stop it!'

- Uncle Donald! - Jesse!

Si-Si-Sixty one epsilon.

Not now, kid. I am busy.

'Nine delta.'

Nine delta!

I'll have the bleu cheese on the salad, miss.

'Launch codes verified.'

Uncle Donald.

'Jackpot!'

'The system is armed.'

'The missiles are ready to launch!'

Stand up.

Back away from the computer.

Okay.

- Now what? - Get down on your knees.

Don't move.

I know how to use this thing.

What's going on here?

Fostonia goes boom!

- Boom! - Yeah!

Kid, you wanna see really big fireworks?

- Uh-huh. - Jesse, come here, honey.

Yeah, yeah, just press that red button

'for a really big boom.'

No, Jesse, don't! Those aren't fireworks.

That's a bad thing.

Auntie Lois will buy you some candy if you don't push it.

No, no. A big boom is better than candy. Push it, kid!

No, uh, Auntie Lois will buy you a big sofa to lift, a sectional.

You don't wanna push that button, do you?

Mm, yeah.

Oh, no, Jesse, don't!

Why, you're a regular mister rogers, aren't you?

It's-it's no use.

It can't be stopped.

Where's the boom? I want the boom!

Ah, shut up, kid.

Jesse, Jesse. Auntie Lois needs some help.

- You're bad. - Yeah? So what?

Well, what do you know!

The little superkid isn't so super anymore.

- Is he? Pity! - Go!

No!

Balorium phosphide.

It devours oxygen as it rises.

And now, if you'll excuse me

I've got a fee to collect.

Superman!

Superman!

Superman! Superman!

It's okay, Jesse.

Everything's gonna be alright.

Help me, Superman!

Excuse me.

Have any of you seen a young boy

or a European gentleman?

They would be with another man.

I think they just got on the last bus.

It was heading downtown.

Thank you.

Anonymous, I take it?

Superman! Finally we meet face-to-face.

So to speak.

Where are they?

Superman!

Why, they're, uh..

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, that hurts.

I'll deal with you later.

)

Let's get you out of here.

There's no time.

There's a nuclear warhead

headed for Fostonia. Look.

You'll never make it around the world in time.

Around the world? You're right.

'Missile impact.'

We ought to send a copy to Anonymous

give him some meaty jail time reading.

Clark, we just nailed the biggest story

of the year. Gloat.

Yeah. That's great.

I mean, no, really, it's great.

But?

Well, I can't seem to find

the big story that completely

exonerates Superman.

It's there. Page 53.

Fifty-three?

Oh, there.

Right between the obituaries and the auction notices.

Great.

Well, you know what they say in journalism school

"exoneration doesn't sell papers."

Hey, y'all.

We just wanted to come by and say thank you

and... ask if you could thank Superman for us too

and tell him, you know, that I-I'm sorry.

Come on, you two! One more smile for the camera?

Oh, no. We are a 100% through with fame and fortune.

Yeah. Jesse's going back to kindergarten.

And I'm enrolled in beauty school.

He's back to normal. And that's all I want for us.

Until I win the lottery.

Thank you both, again.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye, pal.

Hey, don't be surprised if Superman drops by for a visit.

- See you later. - 'Bye-bye.'

So... what about us?

Are we going back to being normal?

Or whatever normal is for us.

Well, let's see.

Before we were interrupted

I was just starting to really enjoy being engaged.

Yeah, so was I.

So what's normal for a woman

happily engaged to a really cute guy?

Oh, I know.

Lois, everybody's watching.

Yeah.

Who cares?