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We make each other miserable.

Neither one of us has had the courage to admit it,

but every time you try and plan ahead, all I can think

is, maybe I'll be rid of you by then.

The cold, hard truth is, I don't think I like you now,

and I don't think you actually like me either.

I think the thing that makes the most

sense is for us to break it off before we become truly toxic.

But I hope we can still be friends?

Fuck off.

What?

Like, just remind me never to let you be the one

to give me bad news, please.

It needs to be harsh.

Yeah, but let's just still be friends, that's just mean,

like just rip his heart out.

You're the one that's been telling me

to break up with him forever.

Yeah, very cool but don't destroy him.

I feel like I need to make him hate me.

It feels like that's the only way to make it stick I mean,

it's not like I haven't tried to break up with him before.

Do you want some?

OK, you need it.

Go on, you need it.

You need it.

Oh, fuck.

What are you doing?

Nathan.

Trying to get to the bottom of it.

The band looks good.

How long did it take you to cover this wall?

It's not like I planned it.

And it's always changing.

Everything is replaceable.

Personal mantra.

Most of the band is dead and gone.

That is Joe's drummer.

So that means there's some room on your wall available.

You don't just want this to be a casual thing?

I think you're interesting.

Hopefully, I didn't bore you too much.

I know chemistry is not the most interesting of topics, but--

Nah, you're not boring.

What, is it to prove that I'm not boring?

No, it's me being polite.

Sure.

Fuck it.

So if I put you on my wall, can I be on yours?

Sure.

Yeah, but I'm more of a clean walls,

picture frames type of guy.

You think you can handle that?

Hell, even one day and you're already trying to change me.

I like your bum.

We could do a second date, and see where this takes us.

Oh, fuck's sake.

You've got a bedrooms.

Use it.

Well, she has a point.

Don't chicken out on me.

I can see you doubting yourself.

Put that away.

No.

No.

I mean, put--

You're overreacting so much.

Lover?

Axel, is that you?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's me.

They sent me home early.

I've got to-- I've got to throw up.

Ugh.

I'll bring you a cup of tea.

It's probably just mouth flush.

What?

And what are you going to say?

Don't say it.

Don't say it.

I can't do it while he's like this.

He's a drama queen.

He's overreacting.

He doesn't want to talk to me, so he heard my voice.

He's just lying saying, oh, I'm sick.

Right.

I'm saying it's like a bandage.

You just got to rip it off.

Rip it off.

What happened to break up with him.

Don't destroy it.

He's a big boy.

He can handle it.

I am--

I am going to break off, it just make sense right now.

Good to go.

I love you so much, but look at yourself.

You're literally making tea out of a whistling fucking kettle.

Right, you would have laughed at that hipster bullshit

two years ago.

I like the kettle.

It's not about the kettle, is it?

I am going to break it off, it's

just today is just not the right time.

I-- I don't want you to be 20 years down the line--

look at me. Look at me.

I don't want you to be 20 years old down the line

with a bunch of kids, and a fucking husband.

OK.

just because you couldn't find the right time.

OK?

All right.

As soon as he starts to get better, I'll break it off,

all right?

Yep.

Do I need to stay?

No, he's never going to get better with you

looming in the background.

OK.

I'll head off then.

All right, text me when you've done it.

Yes?

Yeah.

I love you.

Stay strong, OK?

I will.

Thanks for everything.

Buy, bitch.

Love ya.

Jesus, babe, you look awful.

Thanks.

You're smoking?

Um, I just threw it out the window.

The smell would have been gone by the time you

got back, it's just, obviously, you're back early.

I really wish you wouldn't do that.

Well, I said it was OK.

It's my responsibility.

No.

You've done so well quitting.

If she was a good friend, she wouldn't

be smoking in front of you.

I'm sorry.

I'm just not in a good place right now, and I'm--

OK.

Thank you for the tea.

You're welcome.

You do take good care of me, lover.

Can we talk?

Sure.

We've been in a bit of a funk.

I've noticed it, and I'm pretty sure you've noticed it.

So we haven't got any time to spend with each other

with you working these weird hours all the time.

I have weird hours because I'm working three jobs.

Ah, and this is what I mean.

Like, every time, it's like we're trying to constantly see

the fight in the other person.

OK.

Fine.

Just maybe don't start off by making it my fault.

I didn't say it was your fault. OK.

Reset.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

What I'm trying to say is that we both need

to make effort for both of us.

Is that fair?

What are you doing?

Making time for both of us.

You're sick.

My germs are your germs.

Come on.

Please.

OK.

How many men have you slept with?

What, do you actually want to know?

I don't know, do we?

What?

What did I say?

Well I mean, I don't think you actually want to know.

Guys say they want to know, but--

Doesn't matter.

Sure.

Look, I already know it's going to be more than me.

I've had two-long term girlfriends and you,

so that's three, including you.

- Why do you need to know? - I don't need to know.

I just thought we could talk about it.

Do you know, I've never liked the term boyfriend.

Where did that come from?

Are you seeing anyone else?

Kind of.

Not really.

I mean, so what is this?

Are we a thing?

A thing?

I don't know, are we working towards something?

Do we have the talk?

What do you mean, that talk?

Are you having that?

I mean, yeah.

Yeah, I think we should have that talk.

Or we don't need to.

Forget about it. We can just--

No.

Wait. Wait.

Wait. Wait.

Wait.

I'm sorry, it's just scary for me.

I mean, I'm not sure I'm quite comfortable admitting to myself

just how into you I am.

You're into me?

Really into you.

So if you don't want to be called my boyfriend,

what would you want to be called, my partner?

God, no.

No?

Pretty boring.

So informal.

I want something a bit more passionate.

Do you know what I think is a really underrated term?

What?

Lover.

No.

No, I'm serious.

Lover.

My lover.

My lover.

I would love for a gorgeous woman to call me their lover.

I went for a weekend excursion with my lover.

My lover.

Yeah, my lover.

Would you like to fuck again, my lover?

Yes, I would.

What are your fantasies?

You mean like what turns me on?

M-hm.

You first.

I've always wanted to have a threesome.

Don't.

How predictable.

No, fair enough.

I'd say it's a little overrated.

What, you've done it?

Which way?

Both.

Preferred it with two women.

So what about you?

What can I do for you?

Kind of like being tied up.

Restrained.

Really?

I mean, we could try it.

It's just something I like.

We don't have to.

No, look, if you want to do it, I want to do it for you.

Is this OK?

Yeah.

Yeah?

A threesome is something we could make happen.

Really?

Yeah.

I know some people.

You know some people.

Yeah.

Oh, it's that easy.

You know some people.

Yeah, why not?

What else?

What else can I do for you?

I like being choked.

I can do it, but I don't know how I'd feel doing that to you.

You can grip harder.

Just help me.

I don't know.

That's OK.

Hey, it's OK.

It's OK.

Look, I can try it, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

It's OK.

Only works if we're both having fun.

I love you.

Me too.

I love you!

I love you.

Axel, ow.

Ow.

Axel.

Axel.

I love you.

Over.

Oh, what the fuck!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You don't fucking listen to me!

Oh, fuck.

Dakota.

Dakota, I need you.

Ah!

Ah!

Ow.

Dakota, help me!

Help me!

Come on.

That's it.

OK.

Just go.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, god.

You're burning up.

We need to cool you down.

Thanks for taking care of me.

Just stay focused on me, OK?

You mean so much to me.

Ow!

What happened to you?

What?

I don't know.

OK.

It's OK.

It's OK.

Come.

Careful.

Look.

Oh, my.

I need to call an ambulance. - No.

No.

No. No.

No. No.

No. No.

No, love. No.

No, stay.

I'm scared.

I don't know what's going on.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm just going to go into the other room to get my phone, OK?

I'll be right back.

You'll stay with me?

I'm here for you.

I'll be right back, OK?

- OK. - OK.

OK.

Great.

Hello.

Emergency service operator.

Which service do you require--

fire, police, or ambulance?

I need an ambulance.

My boyfriend-- there's someone here

that needs emergency medical help.

Where are you calling from?

Hello?

Hello.

Please, can you come and take him away?

Can you just stay on the line?

That thing is hideous.

That thing is a family heirloom.

Well, it's a hideous family heirloom.

Do you know how much that's worth?

What?

It's worth about its weight in gold,

because it has sentimental value.

Well, it's fucking ugly.

Dakota, you asked me to move in.

You know?

I'm helping you pay rent.

Yeah, that's fair enough.

I mean, it's your space now too.

I've got to start getting ready for work now though,

so feel free not to save me any boxes to unpack.

You working at the bar tonight?

Yeah, I'm covering a shift for Rose.

It's not like I don't need the money.

I thought we said--

oh, forget it.

It doesn't matter.

It's not like I'm not looking for another job.

Yeah, and it's not like I haven't tried to help you.

Try to hook you up with a receptionist job.

Oh, yeah, they probably want you to change your hair

and remove your piercings and cover up your tattoos.

I'm just trying to help.

I'm sorry.

Fuck, I'm sorry.

I'm genuinely sorry.

I am sorry.

I am way, way more sorry.

Fuck you, I'm the one that's really sorry.

I wish you could be as sorry as I am.

Why do we suck at fighting?

Because we're so fucking charming.

Look, it's you me against the world, right?

Damn right.

Right.

I've got to get ready for work.

Why are you always slapping my arse?

'Cause It's so fucking cute.

What are you doing?

I just think it's maybe time for some photos of us.

Fair enough.

Have a good time at work.

Who the fuck are you?

OK.

I'm going to need a hand with this.

He's definitely excreting it.

You know, if you walked into the hospital with these,

I'd say they were chemical burns.

Seem pretty clean.

I had to wash them straight away.

It looks like you did a great job.

Your breathing is fine.

Your pulse is normal.

Are you feeling any discomfort?

I told you I feel fine, it's just some sort of reaction.

It will clear up.

With all due respect, sir, you burned your partner

with something that's excreting from your pores.

Your body is covered in bruises and black veins.

I don't think there's a term in Latin or anything

otherwise to describe what is happening.

You're about as far from fine as I can imagine.

Yeah, well, I feel fine.

He was having a seizure earlier.

She's overreacting.

Was shivering.

I was cold.

That seems a bit strange that you're

currently sitting in ice cold water

and seem perfectly comfortable.

I can give you something for the pain.

It's fine.

They don't hurt.

These are chemical burns.

They should be excruciating.

Look, you may feel fine now, but the reality is,

is we don't know what is happening to you.

Your body could be in a state of shock.

I'm not going anywhere.

If you're in trouble, you can give us a sign.

I mean, if you feel like you couldn't say it,

just give us a signal.

Why don't you just give me some antibiotics

and leave me alone?

Sir, I don't understand why you're being so difficult.

I didn't call you.

I don't want you here.

Babe, I think it might be for the best.

Yeah, of course you'd say that.

Lover, I think there's something

seriously wrong with you.

I think you need to go with them.

Why?

I don't want to go.

Could you give us a minute?

We'll be just outside, OK?

Please, look at yourself.

If I go to the hospital, will you come with me?

I think you need to go on your own.

I think it's going to be better if we stay apart.

That we make each other miserable, and neither one of us

has had the courage to admit it.

I make you miserable?

No.

I'm saying we make each other miserable, Axel.

This is Rose's bullshit, isn't it?

Just let me speak.

I had a whole thing prepared, and you just--

Fuck off.

Just speak to me like I'm a human being.

Fine.

I'm leaving you.

I need to leave you.

Wow, just like that.

I just don't like you anymore, and I don't think you like me.

Fuck off.

Just stop patronizing me!

Look, I think you just need to take a minute and calm down.

All right, mate?

Get the fuck out of my face, mate.

Take it down a notch.

Sir, as paramedics, we will not tolerate any abusive behavior.

Ricky, stop it.

That isn't useful.

I don't know.

It's OK.

We're OK.

Fair enough.

Shake.

Ricky.

Come on, mate.

Put it behind us.

Ah, come on, mate.

We good, yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah, we're-- let go.

I'm not.

All right, let go.

Let go.

Axel, let go.

Let go.

No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

Stop. Stop.

Stop.

Hey.

Ah!

Oh, let go of me!

All right, fuck off.

Get out of my house and leave me and my lady alone.

You're infected.

My germs are your germs.

I just want you to listen to my side.

So let's talk this out.

Sorry about the eye.

I love this lamp.

I know you do.

Do you know why I love this lamp?

I love this lamp because it reminds me

of my grandparents' house that I used

to go to as a child when things weren't good at home.

I love the lamp because it makes me feel safety.

It makes me feel comfort, respite from me parents'

fucking bad marriage.

But again, you wouldn't know this, would you?

Dakota, you don't-- you don't ask people questions about

themselves.

It's all me, me, me, to do with me.

Because you want to break up.

The one I got saying this, by the way,

maybe I don't want to break up.

Maybe I'd like to work on our issues.

Talk to our problems, instead of focusing on

oh, so unhappy, so unhappy.

Now, why do you get to decide if we break up?

You don't I think I have my issues with you?

Dakota, look at me when I talk to you.

Look at me when I'm fucking talking to you!

Your problem, Dakota, is that you just

don't care about anything.

Anything.

You've become so fucking jaded and cynical.

It's not my fault your music career has gone kaput

and your little band went down the drain.

It doesn't give you the excuse to talk to me and other people

like shit in your fucking shoe.

Look at this place.

Look.

Genuinely.

Look at this nice place that I bought for us.

I want to build something with you.

I wanted a fucking life with you.

And also, by the way, for the record,

I never told you to quit smoking.

That was your decision. You decided that.

I supported you, then I support you

when you act like I'm fucking, I'm forcing you to do it?

Do you think that I don't know you're smoking?

Well, in that case, I'm going to have a smoke.

That kink handcuffs, Axel, they have a safety lever.

You know, you're so selfish.

Excuse me if I want you to live a little longer.

Excuse me for saying everything

in a passive aggressive tone because I'm too

pussy just to come out with it.

Stop fucking imitating me!

Why do you even want to be with me?

I think--

I think of--

I think despite everything, you still make me [indistinct]...

Ah!

Can you just stay still and listen to me?

Seriously.

Dakota, what is wrong with me?

What is so bad about me?

I never cheated on you.

I paid your rent when you were skint.

I even did that BDSM shit you're into even though you know

it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Fuck off.

I didn't force you to do anything.

You stopped communicating with me.

I'm not a fucking mind reader.

What is so wrong with me?

I thought you loved me for me, but every day, you just

keep cutting me down.

If it's not you telling me I'm not employable,

it's that I don't make enough money

or that I embarrass you because I fucked all my friends.

You moved me here even though you knew I didn't want to.

I compromised for you, and now, I

feel like I've got nothing left.

You just want me to be a different person,

and you keep trying to change me because the way I am just

isn't good enough.

Well, I'm sorry that I don't want to live in a shit hole

apartment, with pictures of your tits and every bloke

you fucked all over my living room wall.

Do you know what, but the photos is fair enough.

No. No.

No. No.

Dakota, no.

And do I fucking hate this lamp.

Don't.

You know how much that that means to me.

So if I break it, will you let me go?

Well?

No.

- Let's see. - No.

No. No.

No. No.

No. No.

No. No.

No!

Your germs are my germs.

If you really want to have this out, we can have it out,

but please do you remember I tried to make this easy.

All right.

Bring it.

That was awful for me, Axel.

I thought I was supposed to be meeting your mom,

but actually, I just got fucking ignored the whole time.

Come on, relax.

She says your tattoos look nice.

No, she didn't.

She said, are you-- are you sure you're

going go be able to get a job with those tattoos?

Fuck off. - First of all--

I get it from you, and I get it from her.

Just leave me alone.

If you act like a child, I'm going

to speak to you like a child.

You think you communicate with me, but you don't.

I have no idea what you want from me.

I just feel like I'm not enough for you sometimes.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Maybe when we meet someone from your past,

maybe don't tell me that you fucked them.

You know how we started.

Don't act like you don't know I have a past.

This isn't the past, Dakota.

This is like using your pussy to shake hands with every cunt

that you fucking met.

Ah!

What's the matter, I though you liked being dominated.

Oh.

Ah!

I'm sleeping.

Just because you don't go out doesn't mean I can't.

OK?

I like going out, and I like having fun with my friends,

and I shouldn't have to feel like I

have to stay home with my boyfriend every single night.

What do you want, a pet?

Do you want a boyfriend, or do you

want an assistant to bring you food and drink

and fucking tell you how beautiful you are all the time?

Because she was making comments about it.

the whole way through!

She was just pointing stuff out.

What do you want me to do, turn up in a fucking flowery

dress and I don't know, that is not me!

Would it kill you to put a fucking dress on for once?

- Are you fucking kidding me? - No.

Fuck off. Actually, fuck off.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I'm living in fucking cuckoo land here.

Oh, fuck!

Can I talk to you about something?

I can't find my keys, and I'm going to be late for work.

Wait, you're going to be late for work

because you're going to have to clean up this mess first.

I do not have time to clean up that mess.

Look at the state of this place.

Not just this room, fucking this room, the bathroom.

I will clean it up later, OK?

Dakota, If we don't clean it up,

no one is going to clean it up.

We need a change.

OK, what do you want?

I'll start going somewhere else to have my parties.

I can't live like a student.

I would like to have a shower that actually works.

I'd like to have a phone that actually works.

I'd like to have neighbors that don't

scream in the middle of the fucking night.

And ideally, no fucking parties at 4:00 in the AM.

I don't know how to have this conversation with you right now.

All I'm thinking about is that I'm going to lose my job,

and then I'll have less money, and then

there'll be more problems.

I am trying to stay afloat.

Can you just help?

Now, where are my keys?

Two minutes, just listen.

I'll have a place.

I would like to buy the place, and I would

like for you to live with me.

You can pay me back in some sort of reimbursement scheme.

I don't want to owe you any more money than I already

fucking do.

You already owe me money, so it doesn't make

much of a fucking difference. - It does.

It does make a difference, because I

am going to have nothing left.

Why are you making this so difficult?

I'm coming with your fucking solutions.

Ah!

Fuck's sake.

I just wish she could be a bit more careful.

I don't want to live in a flat with cigarette marks everywhere.

Buy a blanket or something to cover it up.

With what money, Dakota?

God!

You don't have to do this.

You know I'm stronger than you are.

Fun to grow up.

Ah!

Ah!

Patronizing fuck.

For the record, this is how you actually choke someone.

Let's communicate.

Let's talk this out.

I am trying to communicate.

No, you're shouting at me.

I am telling--

yes, because you're not listening to me.

I'm fucking sick of you speaking to me like I am a child.

I don't like fighting like this, Axel.

Either get better aim or sit down to pee.

I'm fucking sick of it.

If you want out of this relationship,

you're going to have to go through me.

Let's not look so serious all the time.

Could you just smile?

You smile like an idiot in every photo.

Yeah. Look, I just want a photo.

You're not doing the hard rock chick thing all the time,

you know? - I smile in photos.

No, you smile when you're drunk.

OK.

You want me to fake it.

Look, I just want a photograph I can send to me mom

and I can put it on the wall.

Is that too much to ask for?

OK.

Fine.

I have something to say, and if you love me,

you'll let me get all the way through without interrupting me.

Look, we make each other miserable, and neither one of us

has had the courage to admit it.

Every time you try to plan ahead,

I just can't help but think maybe

I'll be rid of you by then.

That's bullshit.

I mean, you haven't been perfect,

but I haven't been honest.

Maybe I let you on.

And I couldn't leave you because I didn't know what I wanted,

but that wasn't fair on you.

You're scared.

I'm scared too, but I'm more afraid of what

happens if we don't end this while we have the chance.

You're not good for me, but I'm not good for you either.

That's why we have to end this.

Let's make it to this the last thing we do together.

No.

Agree to disagree then.

Ah!

Ah!

I hope we can still be friends.

One. Two.

One, two, three, four.

Act I, we met and some fun

Holding hands under the blackpool sun

Act II, we drove in the van

I never thought I would see you again

I'm dumb and in luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

I'm dumb in luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

Act III, I was sitting at your bar

Guilty eyed disguised as shooting stars

Act IV, you stab me in the back

Dirty rat, how dare you live like that?

I'm dumb and in luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

I'm dumb and in luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

I'm dumb

So dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

I'm dumb, so dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb and--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv.

D-U-M-B L-U-V

L-U-V D-U-M-B

D-U-M-B

L-U-V

Does she know the truth about me?

Well, I'm dumb and in luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

I'm dumb in luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb in luv

Well, dumb, so dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in luv

Well, I'm dumb How dumb?

So dumb

That's luv

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb, dumb, dumb and in--

Dumb and in luv