Original subtitles

Previously on Farscape.

Distillate of Laka.

One whiff and the pain is gone.

She says they help you forget Aeryn.

When I double the dose.

What do you desire with wormholes?

For starters? Go home.

That's Earth.

Your place of origin is where you can do the most damage.

Crichton's DNA which I provided for you will enable you to detect his presence.

So when he returns, as we know he will, capture him alive.

- Pilot, I've got Crichton. - We're coming aboard.

Welcome home, son.

We've been waiting for you a long time.

What's the matter, John?

Was it a bass or a trout?

And now, on Farscape.

They're not impostors.

DRD scans confirm they are of your species.

It's me, son.

It's all right. You're home.

And you're alive.

And if that wasn't miracle enough, this ship is actually a living organism?

Yeah, she is.

And her.

Another alien life-form.

How'd you get up here?

We sent a shuttle, to open up communications.

Everyone at IASA had a coronary when she answered, finally.

In English.

She's too smart.

Commander Crichton.

I am T.R. Holt, Special Advisor to the President.

Congratulations.

You have accomplished something truly momentous.

Earth's first contact with extraterrestrial life.

Well, T.R.,

today's your lucky day.

D'Argo!

Aeryn!

Just don't make any sudden moves.

Good God.

What delayed you? Moya arrived 42 of their days ago.

The wormhole's unstable. Some time dilation may have occurred.

Where the hell is Scorpius?

He's in a pod, at the far end of this wormhole.

He's transmitting us a signal, so we can find our way back.

Yeah, you can stop pimping for him anytime.

What is wrong with you? These are your people.

Or do you think they pose us a threat?

No.

It's the other way around.

My name is John Crichton, an astronaut.

Three years ago I got shot through a wormhole.

I'm in a distant part of the universe

aboard this living ship of escaped prisoners,

my friends.

I've made enemies.

Powerful, dangerous.

Now all I want is to find a way home

to warn Earth.

Look upward and share the wonders I've seen.

Earth.

Terra firma.

Seems forever it's filled my thoughts, been my goal

and now... I'm here.

Family, friends...

seeing them again is so... so normal.

John, you're alive.

D.K., when did that happen?

Two years ago.

Married on a boat in Naples.

I wish you could've been there.

You said he was a geek.

He is a geek. - I won her over anyway.

I figured Earth would freak out and it's delivered in spades, on time, 30 minutes or less.

Uncle Sam is keeping the aliens safe and contained.

A waterfront mansion for their personal use and full security team standing by.

It's a cage.

But at least it's a gilded one.

Good?

Of course, the suits are more interested in the technology.

No surprise there.

So we let 'em look.

We don't usually recommend this setting.

They just can't comprehend what they're looking at, much less replicate it.

Be careful.

Not yet.

So let 'em look.

Some of the VIPs have accepted translator microbes.

...under strict supervision. No power ups unless I...

But even translator microbes aren't gonna help some people listen.

Not that you can blame them.

At least the alien life's not going too crazy.

My family has been helping out.

Would you like me to bring you some of my clothes?

My sister Olivia, she's hanging with 'em. - Sure. Thanks.

And my cousin Bobby.

Bobby is totally fascinated by the E.T.s.

Hey. I got this great idea.

How about... how about we break out of here, and go make some new friends.

Chiana, you know the humans will not let us out unescorted.

And the way you make friends, I do not blame them.

Rygel, have you tried this?

Sparky and Wrinkles? - Another delicacy.

They're the happiest of the crew.

They're in gastro heaven.

What's it called?

It's called cop-porn.

But T.R. Holt, he is not happy.

What's the big deal? It's a simple proposal.

A trip on a spaceship for 500 of Earth's best and brightest.

Yeah, but who picks the 500, you?

Me? No, no, no.

Let UNESCO handle that, or the Nobel committee.

Be much simpler to keep it local.

Local meaning only red-blooded Americans.

No deal. No cookie.

Some would disagree. Quote, "The Farscape project was and is an American initiative.

I do not think it is unfair that America should reap the first benefits of it."

Yeah, what big-hearted patriot said that?

A former astronaut by the name of Jack Crichton.

Did you know we're making him IASA's Project Director for Extraterrestrial Studies?

Father and son. Dynamite P.R.

Jack is just so happy to be making a contribution.

Don't screw it up for him.

That's a nice suit.

Do you have to buy that or does it come standard issue?

Which brings us to Dad.

Dad...

All right, time for lighting test. T minus...

Dad's world is upside down.

So he's trying to make it right side up by putting up Christmas decorations.

Great. - Might need a little more...

Christmas decorations even though it's Florida

and the whole block is cordoned off with security.

Please, back, sir.

Family traditions. They're supposed to bring us together,

and to make everything normal.

So, you do this every cycle?

Year. Every year. - Year. Year.

Christmas has always been our favorite holiday. We never get tired of it.

I love that Christmas where you lit the fire in the fireplace

and the smoke came back down because Mr. Jingles was in the flue!

Oh, come on. One little mistake, you're gonna hold it against me.

How was I suppose to know he was up there? - The cat didn't have hair for three months, Dad.

What the frell is that? - Remember we gave you riding lessons, honey?

Thought you were gonna cry. - I did cry.

A cat? - Yeah, it's a pet.

Hey, and this. - Does he talk?

Baby, remember this that your brother made?

Yeah. Show him.

Remember this, John?

Made this when you were five years old. Your mother loved it.

So what's next, we break out the bare-ass baby pictures?

Hey, that's not a bad idea. Let me get the photo album. - Yeah, let's take a vote. Aeryn?

Of course. - No, we're not gonna... your not looking at my bare ass.

Why not? I've seen it all ready. - Yes, we are.

- Excuse me, I hear the door. - I got it.

Here, let me, ah, let me show you this.

Special delivery from the ghost of Christmas past.

Caroline.

Welcome back to terra firma.

Hey, um...

Caroline's here. Come on in.

But things have changed.

- Hi, Caroline. Come on in. - Hey, Jack.

We don't get to close our eyes and pretend they haven't.

And everyone is telling me how different I am.

They're right.

But they don't have a clue why.

They can't know what I've seen, what I've done,

what's been done to me.

They can't know what's out there waiting for them

and I can't tell them because they wouldn't believe me.

Hell, if I tried, they'd lock me up.

Frell, I'd lock me up.

Hey, Buck Rogers.

You're supposed to be fishing not writing memoirs.

What's that?

It's homework.

This was supposed to be a weekend off.

No homework, no stress, no aliens, no demands.

I guess I'm not doing my job.

Mankind has always seen himself as the center of the universe.

To discover that's no longer true is highly traumatic.

A fundamental status quo is being threatened here.

The very existence of Homo sapiens may be under threat.

It's hardly surprising the hysteria is rising. - Here.

Hysteria? In what sense?

The presence of these alien has induced various forms of societal hysteria. -No, thanks.

Holt says it's bad on the political front.

Every nation's demanding equal access to the aliens

and all the information we get from them.

Of course they are. We're gonna give it to them.

I don't see why.

Why should we give them access to technology they can use against us?

'Cause it's the right thing to do.

Wouldn't worry about it, Dad.

Subcommittee'll tie it up for years and load it down with a ton of guidelines.

Now you're being naive, son.

The best and safest thing to do is keep it to ourselves.

Space travel was your dream to unite mankind.

When did that change?

September the eleventh.

This isn't the same world you left four years ago, son.

People don't dream like they used to.

It's about survival now.

Who's survival?

Olivia's survival.

And Susan and Frank and Bobby's.

Imagine them blown up by a suicide bomb,

or coughing up blood from a poison gas attack.

This country is under siege.

You just don't understand the global situation.

I don't understand because I've been out of town, or because Daddy knows best?

Oh, come on. Now that's not fair, son.

If you wanna argue with Holt or even the President, I can arrange that.

No, I don't wanna argue with anybody.

No, you don't wanna argue.

You just wanna be obstinate and insist everyone agree with you.

Are you accusing me of being the only one in this family to be stubborn?

No. You're the most stubborn.

That I would argue with. - All right, let's split the title.

I'm going into space tomorrow.

If you'd like to come along you're welcome.

Unless you're too stubborn.

Awesome!

Yeah, and this is just the garage.

Come on, show me more.

No, I got some stuff I gotta do first. 1812!

I've give him the tour, son. I know my way around.

No, Jack, it's a big ship. You're gonna need a Sherpa.

Give me that arm.

This should fix it up. It's a miracle.

1812, this is Bobby. Bobby, this is 1812.

1812 is gonna be your tour guide.

Don't let 'em break anything.

I won't break anything.

Where's that Pilot you told me about?

I'll show you. You won't believe it.

Jack...

that way.

Think they know how to open doors?

Can you check wormhole stability from Command, or do you need to go outside again?

No, Command will be fine.

I've had enough EVA to last a lifetime.

Apparently all systems check out normal with the Prowler

so the scientists don't seem to have caused any damage.

I made sure they didn't.

I appreciate it. Thank you.

Okay...

Meet you on Command.

Thank you.

Aeryn, listen up. You got a problem with them poking around at your Prowler,

why don't you leave it here?

The IASA boys got enough to look at with D'Argo's guppy and my module.

Would it be better if I stayed here as well?

Why would you wanna do that?

I'm clearly not fitting in.

You're fitting in as well as any of us are.

Whatever. It's... it's up to you.

It's up to me? - Yeah.

Yeah, it's up to you.

Fine. I...

Well, I don't mind your scientists poking around with my Prowler.

I can even field-strip a cannon if...

No, don't do that.

Thank you, but...

don't do that. They've seen enough.

You want a hand?

Nope.

No. No, of course you don't.

What is that?

An explanation would be pointless.

You'd retain no memory of it.

Skreeth, can you hear me? It's Grayza. Report.

I hear you.

Crichton is onboard Moya.

According to reports, Moya now orbits Crichton's home planet.

Where is this planet?

Unknown. We traveled through a wormhole to reach it.

A wormhole? - Yes.

Are you certain? - Yes.

Do not seize Crichton yet.

Learn all you can about his planet, its technology, its defenses and its location.

Allowing me to interrogate Crichton will yield quicker answers.

Crichton has already proven himself to be immune to several forms of interrogation.

Stay hidden until we know more.

Understood?

Understood.

We took a short break, for recreation.

I see.

Don't you remember, Captain?

Perhaps you will next time.

But duty first.

Run a full weapons systems check immediately.

I want this ship ready to destroy a planet.

The readings match my homework.

It's gonna be at least 70 arns before the wormhole's stable enough

for Moya to get back through.

Pilot says he and Moya are looking forward to giving humans their first trip to the stars.

Yeah, right.

They're not going, are they?

No, we'll be long gone while they're still bickering over who gets the tickets.

Well, then why offer them in the first place?

Gotta give 'em something, otherwise they'll try and take it.

Yeah, but we're not giving them anything.

Their scientists can't even work out how to use Pulse Pistols.

Doesn't matter. My planet doesn't have Chakan oil anyway.

Don't look at me like that.

You know how paranoid my planet is.

Yeah, they... they don't like aliens.

They don't like anybody.

Well, I'm glad to see you taking a positive approach.

Cooperation, teamwork, distraction.

We give them a few hints then we get the hell out of Dodge

and hope they get their act together before the real space monsters show up.

Aeryn? Have you seen John?

Pilot says he's ready to head back down.

So am I. Would you like a lift in my Prowler?

Go for it, Jack. She's the best pilot I've ever seen.

Think you can manage a side trip to the moon?

I think I can do better than that.

Saturn. I'm really looking at Saturn.

I'm farther from Earth than any human's ever been.

Actually, no.

Oh yeah.

I guess my son does have a few miles on me.

He must be happy to be back on Earth, though.

I don't know.

He's having a tough time readjusting.

He, uh... he doesn't talk much about what he's been through.

Not even about his shipmates?

Oh, he-he... he's talked about your societies, customs.

Remarkable stuff.

He thinks that your species and mine might somehow be linked.

Our geneticists are still looking at that.

But I wouldn't be surprised.

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were human.

I'm not.

Do you wish you were?

Why do you ask?

You have feelings for John, don't you?

Does that shock you?

No.

I suppose it might if I thought of you as an alien life-form, but I don't.

John has not said anything to me, but I believe he has feelings for you, too.

He did.

Now...

Now he's home.

That's one of the things he's gonna to have to sort out.

Just give him time.

Hmm.

Biologic examination?

I said no, and I don't care how many of the others have consented.

You can go stick your probes in one of them. I'm not interested.

- Well, you never know. - You might like it.

No, I will not have an x-ray.

I don't care how much it advances mankind's xenobiological knowledge.

N... Leave!

- Eat something. - You'll feel better.

I do not want to eat.

I want to go back to Moya.

Good. Here... here, give this to Pilot.

Hark! The hee rawld angles seen guh

Glowry to the nude bored keen guh nude...

Peach on Erp and murky mill ed

Gode and signers reek n sill ed... murky... sill ed...

It was incredible.

We flew through the Cassini division, beat the Cassini space probe by a year.

Told Aeryn it was the best Christmas present I'd ever gotten,

except for that tie rack you made me in junior high school.

Speaking of suits and ties,

Holt is still fighting me on the tech-sharing plan and the explorer selection process.

I could use a little support.

I've always supported you as much as I could, son.

You're not looking at the bigger picture here.

You don't see the big picture.

You can't conceive of it.

Earth has to work together on this.

Yeah. Well, you're asking the impossible on that one.

Impossible. "Impossible is not in our vocabulary."

Who said that? You. You did.

Four days before you set foot on the moon.

You taught me to believe that.

That belief kept me alive.

Please tell me you still believe it.

I'm not sure what I believe anymore.

All this crap you've tacked on.

Hetch drive. FTL.

It can't work. - It's theoretically impossible.

Theory is wrong.

Newton, Einstein, Hawking.

We prove them wrong every time we pop out for groceries.

Then tell us how it works.

I didn't design it, D.K. I just installed it. That's for you to figure out.

Sure, drop it in our laps.

Let us scratch our heads and look stupid

while you go on Nightline or have lunch with the president.

We need some help. We're Neanderthals trying to understand 747s.

These new laptops are really nice.

Laura, I cannot tell you what I don't know.

Then why'd you bring us these ships?

If we’re never gonna learn anything, why rub our noses in how dumb we are?

You're not dumb. - Neither are you.

Taka says you asked for the metallurgic analysis of these ships.

You're on the track of something.

It's just a riddle.

Why do Prowler pilots turn to goo?

Get back to me on that.

I'm gonna get a refill of coffee. You guys want some?

I think something's going on.

I'm sure John is holding out on us.

Probably trying to grab more of the glory for himself.

Again. He doesn't care about it. The only thing John...

Laura!

No!

Are you sure that they're telling you the truth?

I can guarantee it.

Plainly, not all humans have Crichton's alleged ability to resist interrogation.

Then Crichton has given no wormhole information to Earth yet.

No. That knowledge can die with Crichton.

Not until I have that knowledge.

I'm confident I can capture him.

But doubt I can bring him to you.

Nor can I yet come to you.

Wherever this Earth is the journey there is obviously impractical

without wormhole travel.

And only Crichton can command that.

Then our best alternative is to seize him,

learn what we can from him, then execute him.

I'm forced to agree.

Anything more you need from my captives?

No.

Hey, where you been?

Shopping with aliens.

They closed off the whole mall and the store owners, I'm sure, were very annoyed.

I'm sure they love it. It'll be in their ads tomorrow.

Not to mention something to tell their grandkids.

What are you doing?

Mmm, nothing.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Do you wanna go live in the past?

No, thank you. I have been there.

Well, where do you wanna live?

I don't know.

You tell me. Where do I belong?

Well, do you miss this life?

I look at these pictures, and I recognize the faces.

Some of the places.

But it's not my life.

I miss her.

I miss that chick.

I miss him, but I can't... He's changed.

What, he's changed so much that you can't talk to him?

You know, he says exactly the same thing about you.

"He's changed so much and..."

I have changed, and I can't tell him why.

Why not?

Because he is the Director for Extraterrestrial Studies,

and what he hears, the government hears.

Are you saying he can't keep a confidence?

Coming here was a mistake.

It was an accident,

and it shouldn't have happened.

And there were things that the government cannot hear.

What, is it bad?

No. No, it's not bad.

Don't worry. It'll be okay.

Okay. - Trust me.

So, I see we've been shopping again.

Yes. Crichton isn't here, is he?

No, but his cousin is.

He's outside interviewing Caroline Wallace.

Really? - Mmm.

Thanks, Chi.

Can you help with this? - Move.

What'd you do, buy the whole planet?

It's not mine. It's from Aeryn.

I don't know what it is, but I... I know it's for Crichton.

It won't get him back. He hasn't forgiven her.

Oh, he will.

Sooner or later.

Some males can actually forgive.

Ooh, sorry.

So, how long have you known John Crichton?

I met him six years ago.

And how long have you been his girlfriend?

Bobby, cut.

Take five.

Don't stop. I'm interested in the answer.

Wanna tell me why you wanna know?

That's fair.

John and I were in a relationship.

What kind of relationship?

It was complicated.

Yeah, I can imagine.

Well, actually, no, I can't imagine.

John and I had a much simpler one.

No strings, no plans, just good, casual times.

Well, at least that's how it was before.

And now?

Uh, he doesn't even want that much.

But he's been spending time with you.

I think he's been testing himself.

Working out what he really wants.

It's not me.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

You still want him, don't you?

Yes. But it doesn't matter. He doesn't want me, either.

I think he does. When I asked him about you, he said there was nothing going on.

He said that several times.

That's bad.

You have a lot to understand about humans.

Sometimes when we repeat a lie,

it means that we're trying to convince ourselves of the truth.

And that is that he still loves you.

Very much.

Your head is bruised.

How difficult was your travel here?

Extremely turbulent, but not very damaging.

Following your guidance signal was a great help.

What are you doing?

Cross-coupling the fuel cells.

To turn this pod into a bomb.

This wormhole is traversable. It leads to Crichton.

Therefore, I cannot have Grayza find it.

You think her Command Carrier will return?

My spy aboard the Carrier has been unable to discern her current strategies.

But should she return,

as a last resort, I will detonate this Pod within the mouth of the wormhole.

That should destabilize it.

But how will you survive?

I wouldn't survive it.

You would have a better chance of destabilization with...

two Pods?

Would you like to observe the sequence?

I just spoke to Pilot. Sikozu went back through the wormhole.

She did what?

She met up with Scorpius.

That son of a bitch. The wormhole must be stabilizing.

She better not bring that bastard back through.

No, she says she's not gonna return to Earth.

Good. No Comms.

There should be no signals that link back to us.

I will inform the President.

Now, I am getting major flak from the Hill about John's global initiatives.

He's gotta bend a little.

I don't think he will.

Make him. It's your job.

The Joint Chiefs are up in arms.

They wanna classify the alien technology as a national security risk and impound it.

John won't permit that.

He'll take these ships out of here first.

Look, I know you share my concerns about John's plans.

All I'm asking for is a little compromise. Is that unreasonable?

Crichton, this isn't a very fun party.

It's not supposed to be a party. It's a photo op for VIPs.

Smile.

Can't we find a real party somewhere?

Could I have everybody's attention?

Well, here comes the "My fellow Americans".

I once told my son that he'd... he'd get the chance to become his own kind of hero.

Well, he got it.

And he made the most of it.

I also taught him to stick to his guns when he thought he was right.

So I can't fault him when he does.

I've heard it said that he should accept our judgment over his, because he owes us.

I've even said it myself.

But we're wrong.

Look at the friends he discovered. The miracles he brought.

Then ask yourself what he owes us, as compared to what we owe him.

Now, John insists that we share these wonders with the rest of the world.

But some people are afraid of what'll happen if we do.

John's afraid of what'll happen if we don't.

And I'll go with that.

So, as IASA’s Project Director for Extraterrestrial Studies,

I hereby invite all nations to participate in the ongoing Farscape mission.

What made you change your mind?

Because I believe in you.

That means a lot.

There's a few things we should talk about.

Son, it's Christmas Eve.

Right. It'll keep.

I know you're preparing for a private dinner, so I won't stay long.

Is he... is John here yet?

Um, no, not yet.

I... I wanted to bring you back the clothes you lent me.

They didn't suit you, huh?

Oh, no, it's not that.

It's just I'm more comfortable in these.

It's what I am, I guess.

And I brought the books as well. I really appreciate it. Everything.

Are you leaving?

Possibly.

Well, you'll be here tomorrow morning to open presents with the rest of us, won't you?

I may not.

What's happened?

Nothing bad.

It's not bad. It's just that I may be needed on Moya...

...on Moya for a while.

It's all right.

I'll be right back.

So...

are you as bored as I am?

I'm sorry, Senator, she's, uh, still learning our customs.

Spank you very much.

Maybe you can teach me. - Okay, Chiana, let's leave.

Come on. - What's wrong with you guys?

What, you all scared of us still? - Uh-uh.

Don't you know that all humans are bigots?

They fight even amongst their own species.

Well, they do seem to fight a lot amongst themselves.

Hey, maybe... maybe that's why they barely left their own planet.

What?

Something smells bad.

Well, it's not me.

Frell.

Since you escorted us all the way to the living room,

I insist that you stay for a cup of eggnog. - Thank you, sir.

Hi, Aeryn. - Hello.

Livvy?

In here.

I'm sorry, I just had to drop some things off to Olivia.

No, it's all right.

Do you want me to go back to Moya?

We've already talked about this. It's entirely up to you.

Fine. I'll go with what you prefer.

Look,

I'm not trying to pressure you, John.

I'm actually trying to take the pressure off.

Would you be happier if I wasn't here on Earth?

You don't have to justify it or explain it.

Just give me an honest yes or no.

Aeryn?

Would you join us for dinner?

Oh, no, I couldn't impose.

There's always room for one more.

It's a traditional family thing.

We'll start a new tradition.

Look, it's up to you, but we'd love to have you.

Could I get some eggnog, please?

Mm-hmm.

Livvy!

Whoa!

Suck on this. - What is that?

Oh, forget about it.

Get Winona.

Right.

I... I've got Crichton.

Yes?

John, clear!

Dad! Livvy!

Olivia?

You all right, old man?

Yeah. - Olivia, you all right?

What the hell was that?

No idea.

Get down!

What is it? Tell me what's wrong.

Well.

Merry frelling Christmas.

Amen.

Ma'am!

Captain, that was the best ever.

You continue to amaze me.

I'm glad I could be of service.

I mean, I'm pleased I could satisfy you.

Will that be all?

Yes. For now.

Uh, all the food goes to my chamber.

Well what are we doing with Crichton's gifts?

You wanna put 'em in his quarters?

Not the right time. Cargo Bay for now.

We'll leave as soon as Crichton's aboard. Here, I'll give you a hand.

Thank you.

Noranti. What's this?

Well, I think you made it.

It's for Crichton.

What does it do?

What does it do?

It's to help him move on.

Surmount his feelings and forget.

Who?

I was gonna give you this on Christmas.

This is Mom's.

She left this to you.

I want you to have it.

Mom'd love that.

Don't go.

I have to go.

You take care.

Stay.

Look, we'll guard the wormhole.

We'll... we'll set up a defense shield. Nothing'll get through.

No, I have a job to do.

That's your words again.

I don't wanna lose you, son.

I can't shake this feeling that you're not coming back.

Oh, I'll be back.

That's a promise.

You take care of my home.

That's a promise.

Take care of yourself.