Original subtitles

♪ Everyone I know is tired ♪

♪ And everyone I know Is wired ♪

♪ To machines, it's obscene ♪

♪ I'll just scream 'Til it don't hurt no more ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Everyone I know is happy ♪

♪ But everyone I know Is napping ♪

♪ Half the day thrown away ♪

♪ But I can't find The thrill anymore ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Maybe I'm not sure ♪

♪ I wanna go on ♪

♪ Maybe I'm not sure ♪

♪ I wanna go on at all ♪

You're gonna get a veggie burger

with sweet potato fries.

You don't know what I'm gonna get.

Okay.

You girls all set?

Yeah. Can I get the Chinese chicken salad

- and a hot green tea, please? - Mmm-hmm.

And for you?

Um, can I please have...

the veggie burger?

I think... I can't hear you.

Veggie burger with sweet potato fries, please.

Okay.

- Oh, and can I also have an... - ...iced coffee?

- Just black. Thank you. - Black. Thank you.

You don't know me.

I do know you.

What are you doing tonight?

Um, I'm going to have dinner with Ben.

- Lucy! - Jane!

You have to put him out of his misery

and eff him already.

You need to do that.

What? I absolutely do not!

What's the problem? He's great, you like him.

You get to tell your kids you met

when his toilet overflowed into your kitchen.

- Lucy, he's in love with you. - Hey. Hey, baby.

Hi, babe. We just ordered. I was starving. Hello.

Oh, yeah? Well, thank you for waiting that extra 30 seconds

I told you it would take me to park.

Lucy's having dinner with Ben tonight.

What? Is tonight the night?

Are we...

ready?

Why did you blow on it?

Because it's dusty, silly pants.

We're friends, you guys.

He's going to help me install this new shelf.

This poor bastard.

- Let me tell you something. - What?

Before this lovely woman and I made love to each other...

Ew, no. Don't say it like that.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Yeah.

Before we made love in each other...

we were great friends,

and I would've installed anything for her.

I would've built her a house.

A very small, conveniently-sized house.

You wanna know why?

Because I knew that was going to lead to sex.

I followed her around like an idiot.

I got a pedicure once.

Desperately needed, but he did.

You guys, no. We're seriously just friends.

We shake hands after we have dinner.

Ew!

- You guys shake hands? - Yeah.

- Why would you do... - For God's sake.

Like... Like, he's your accountant?

- No, it's funny. - It's not funny.

No, I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh one time.

I'm telling you this because I care.

You need to fuck or get off the pot.

- I don't think that's how... - Just do it.

- Do it. - Do it.

- Do it. - Do it!

- Do it! - Do it!

- We did it! - Yay.

How many paintings do you think it can hold?

It's sturdy.

I don't know if I'd put anything on it.

I've never used a drill before.

Thanks.

For all your hard work.

What is this?

It's a Stella.

It might be expired, though, I...

Uh, I don't really drink a lot of beer,

but it tastes like beer. Mmm-hmm.

That's not what I meant.

- What did you mean? - Oh.

Oh!

Sorry.

- I'm gonna go. - No, Ben.

Why?

Because you just catapulted off the bed

when I got close to you.

I was caught off guard.

Caught off guard is when somebody tosses a ball at you

and you flinch, but you still catch it.

You just slithered away like Mr. Bean or something.

I thought we were just staying friends.

But you're playing all these love songs,

like, really romantic ones.

It's a playlist.

It's called, "All The Feelz," with a z.

I can see how that would be misleading.

I just liked it because of the sadness.

I'll see you later, Lucy.

I forget, you do like it when I say "I told you so,"

or you don't like that.

Everything was okay

until you put it out into the universe.

Why don't you just sleep with him?

- Because I don't want to. - Oh, why not?

I just don't.

Hmm. May I venture a guess?

- No. - I think

it's because you're afraid of getting close to someone

for fear of rejection.

Or it could be a fear of intimacy

stemming from your youth, your parents' bad marriage

or something that happened you can't even remember.

No.

Hi. Have you two been in my class with before?

- We haven't. - Great.

I love virgins.

Wow. Oh, my God.

You two were definitely sisters in a past life.

But one of you betrayed the other

and burned her at the stake for being a witch.

That feels like a her thing to do.

Anyways, if you need anything

during the class, just let me know.

I do really bomb adjustments.

- "Bomb adjustments." - Thank you all for letting me

be a part of your practice today.

Yoga is a great way to calm our minds and our bodies

and to become one with ourselves and each other.

So, today's class is gonna be

a rap battle between Fetty Wap and Lil Yachty.

Do you really think we were sisters?

I don't think someone named Sky Jade

would make that up.

I hope I was the cool sister.

I hope I was called Denise.

What?

Denise?

Yeah. I've always wanted to be Denise.

That's so lezz.

What? Was Nonce taken?

No, but Nance was.

Nonce was available.

Nobody's named Nonce.

Don't you wanna have a different name?

Yeah!

But I want it to be something fun,

like Frederica, Taraji.

You're Denise!

I can't wait to only call you Denise from now on.

Can you please drop me off at work

so I don't have to go home first?

You got it.

Going to the bathroom.

I stole some tampons.

These are good ones.

Call me later, and take a shower

because that is a tough smell right now.

Good morning, Luce.

- Hi. - Hi, my love.

You're here early.

Yeah, I was gonna meditate with a view,

but then I started making

a mood board on Pinterest so...

Hi. I'm Jane.

Hi, I'm Brittany. Nice to meet you.

Jane is my best friend.

Brittany's a new masseuse here.

Oh, cool.

I love your best friend.

She's a real doozy, isn't she?

I'll see you later. It was nice to meet you.

You, too.

Bye, Luce.

Or Denise. Or whatever your name is.

Oh, my God.

Jane, you have a second?

Yeah, of course.

Let me just finish this work-related text.

I want to talk to you about something,

and I want you to listen closely.

I've been going through your emails

and all of your electronic communication.

Listen...

We just googled those penises.

No one has that condition.

Ah.

I'm totally kidding.

I honestly don't care what you email about.

Jane, you're from London, right?

Like, I'm sharp enough to pick up on this twang.

Yes. I mean, I haven't lived there

since I was, like, 16. But, yes.

Um, how would you feel about opening up an office there?

Seriously?

Yeah, there's a chocolate company

that wants to give Cadbury a real run for its Bunny.

Isn't that clever?

I thought of it as I was saying it.

They want our help with the campaign,

and I know you'd be perfect for it.

Honestly, I think you're ready

to have a whole division to yourself.

That's an amazing offer.

I...

I don't know what to say.

Well, I do. You can say yes.

At least think about it, all right?

We'll make it worth your while.

- Okay. Thank you so much. - Yeah.

Yeah, sure, sure. Get out of here.

Yeah.

Actually, you can leave it open.

Actually, shut it.

Not all the way.

- That's good right there. - Yep.

Little more.

Perfect.

Did you get my text?

Yes. You are such a strange person.

Can we get drinks later?

Um, yeah. Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just dumb work stuff.

Okay, it's not cancer?

What? No. Goodbye.

- Hey. - Ooh.

Whoa.

- Sorry. Let me get that. - Sorry.

Hmm.

Whoa, that's incredible.

Oh, I just like to doodle.

It's better than a doodle.

I love that you can do that.

- Meg? - Yes?

- Are you ready to head back? - I'm ready.

Sorry, I was googling butt herpes.

- Hello, Lucy. - I got you a tequils.

Oh, God bless you.

Mmm.

Mmm.

What a delicious beverage.

You may now tell me what happened today.

Wait, before you guys get into that,

I'm gonna go take a leak

while you two sync your periods.

Mmm! Nailed it.

- Dumb. - Stupid.

- Ah. - Really stupid.

So, um...

I got called into Stu's office today.

Did you get fired?

No, I kind of got a promotion.

Jane that is so awesome.

They want to transfer me to London.

Wait, what?

He wants me to start up an office

in London.

What did you say?

I said yes.

Wow, that's great.

- Thanks. - Mmm-hmm.

Crazy, right?

When... When? When does this happen?

Well, not for, like, six months.

So, it's not like tomorrow or anything.

Awesome. That's so awesome!

This is so awesome.

Wow. Awesome.

You really deserve this.

I just feel like, "Why not?" You know?

Like, I've never been an adult there.

I might like it. I can take the tube to work.

I've never taken the tube to work.

Yeah.

What about Danny?

Oh, he's in.

I mean, what else is he going to do?

He said he could find some nerdy music blog

to write for over there.

I mean, maybe London will inspire him

to fucking propose.

You think you're gonna get engaged while you're there?

Well, I mean...

No...

He'll probably wait another eight years.

Mmm-hmm.

What?

I know it kinda sucks.

I'm so happy for you.

But...

Well... it's gonna be weird, isn't it?

Not living five minutes away from each other.

Yeah, but I mean, it's...

- That's... I'm busy, you know? - Mmm-hmm.

There's, like, all of the stuff that's going real well,

and all the other really important things,

and the kids are almost in college, so...

Uh, how many kids do you have again?

I have 12 kids.

What are their names again?

They're all named Denise.

That's right.

Well, honestly, Lucy,

this might be really good for you.

Start painting again. Sell some shit.

I won't be here to distract you.

Yeah, totally. Everything... Jane.

Everything is gonna be fine, okay?

You're gonna be fine. I'm fine.

You promise you're gonna come back all the time?

Yes, of course.

But do you know when?

Like, what dates?

I don't know exactly, but often.

Cool.

Do you wipe front to back?

Yeah, you have to wipe front to back.

Yeah, but some people wipe all the way

in one motion from front to back.

No, I do two in the front and one in the back.

- Yeah. - Tap-tap one. One tap two.

Yeah, that's what I do.

That's why...

that's why we're best friends, Jane!

That's why, because...

Lucy...

Because we even wipe the same way!

And now we won't even be wiping in the same...

- country! - Okay.

Let... let's wash our hands.

I love you.

Okay, I have a confession.

Sometimes I blow my nose in my shirt

when I'm working out.

Oh, okay, well, some of those are my shirts!

I have a little confession to make.

Okay.

Sometimes I go pee in the shower.

Everyone pees in the shower!

- Talk about... - That's not a good one.

- I have a confession. - Oh, really?

I kissed Amanda Newman in tenth grade.

- Okay! - Yeah.

Thousand points for that confession.

- Uh-huh. - Wow.

Wait, what? You never told me that.

Yeah. Tenth grade, behind 7-Eleven.

She dared me to do it and I did it.

How could you not tell me that?

That's a big girl if you kissed a deal.

- Mmm? - What?

I mean, it's a big kiss if you dealt a girl.

I mean...

The third way to say that.

Why don't you take a little sip of that water right there, honey?

There you go. Good job.

Yo, was she a good kisser?

- She was pretty good. - Mmm-hmm?

Yeah. She was.

You never even said this to me before, these words.

I never heard them.

Have you ever kissed a girl before?

No.

Well, if you were to kiss a girl...

- Mmm-hmm. - Who would it be?

- Who would you kiss? - Brittany.

Brittany? That's interesting.

- Why is it... Who is... - Yeah. Yeah.

Who is... Who's Brit-Brit?

She's who does the massages at my job.

- Is she, uh, gay or straight? - She's just... I don't know.

Maybe she's straight. She wears dresses.

Oh, you... Okay. You know lesbians wear dresses, right?

She said she loved you today.

She is very, very flirty. She likes to touch me.

Do you know what she calls her? Luce.

- Mmm. - And she's just started working there.

You should do it.

It is not a good idea to make out with your coworkers, you guys.

Read the news.

Right. I'm going to bed.

You always do that so abruptly.

I know when it's time.

Can we have a sleepover?

I don't... Mmm...

You better come and visit me.

Yeah, I'll bring you that sandwich

that you really love from that shitty place on Sunset.

Thank you.

I'll put it in a cooler.

It'll stay good on the plane for 11 hours, right?

For sure.

Are you crying?

- No. - Lucy...

I promise it's not gonna be that different.

Don't cry.

We can FaceTime and talk just like always.

Whoa. What's going on?

Lucy...

You know, when I said that I would make out with Brittany...

Yes?

I really would.

I didn't think you were lying about that.

But, like...

I really would.

Like... Like, really?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, my God. Why didn't you say anything?

I just felt easier to keep it buried inside.

Fuck, Lucy. You can't keep this inside.

You'll explode.

I hate this.

Have you talked to anyone about this?

How long have you felt this way?

A while.

And you never acted on it?

Like, not even in secret?

Oh!

I feel so stupid.

Like... I should have figured this out by now.

You can't look at it that way.

Yes, I can, Jane. I'm 32 years old.

There's no timeline to figuring it out.

People figure this out when they're, like, nine.

Nine?

When I was nine, I pretended I was a puppy

and I would only bark at people.

Yeah, that sounds strange to say it out loud.

I feel so stupid.

And I don't even know what I am.

I don't even know if I'm... if I'm really that way,

and I'm just afraid to admit it,

or if I'm not, and I just... What?

I don't ever, like, date boys.

I mean, men. I don't know.

Well, maybe you're both.

No. I just should've figured it out.

When you kissed Amanda Newman, did you like it?

Oh, God, I guess. I had a Zima. I thought I was drunk.

But you weren't like, "Maybe I'm gay?"

I don't know. I wasn't gonna, like,

be with Amanda Newman.

- Why? Why not? - 'Cause...

Well, it was just a dumb kiss.

So, when you kiss Danny, are you thinking, like,

"I'm so straight. I love dudes?"

Usually, I'm like, "Brush your teeth. I can taste Subway."

Seriously.

I don't know if it's so simple, Lucy.

How have you felt sleeping with guys?

Weird.

Weird like you think everything is weird

or weird like you just didn't like it?

Weird like that must be the reason I've barely done it.

Did you think that I was?

A vagina lover?

It crossed my mind.

I'm not. I don't... I...

I don't love vaginas. I'm not...

You did own a Volvo in high school.

- You did. - Jane, Volvos are

- the safest car. - Okay.

Shit, Lucy, I'm sorry. I'm...

I'm mad I never brought it up

if it was hurting you this much.

It's okay.

I probably would have just lied anyway.

Well, now we know.

And now, we've got to get you to make out with Brit-Brit.

I don't even know if she likes girls.

Well, then we'll find you some girls who do.

Lucy, from what I understand, and I believe this to be true,

all lesbians know each other.

They've all slept with each other.

So, for you to enter into the fray,

you're gonna be the star of the lesbian community.

I don't like that word.

I know. "Community."

I'm scared.

Of course it's scary.

But you think a lot of things are scary.

You still scared of how

Salt-N-Pepa whisper in Push It?

Yes. Very.

Look, I'd be scared to touch someone else's vagina.

But I'm not leaving this country till you do.

- I love you. - I love you.

Luce, you okay? What's wrong?

Oh, yeah, I just had too much tequila.

Oh, give me your hand. Give me your hand.

I know a cure for a hangover headache.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

What'd you do last night?

- Did you have a hot date? - Mmm, no.

Uh, Jane told me she's moving to London,

so I got shit-faced.

Oh, Luce, I'm sorry,

but, um, I mean, that... that...

Well, it sucks.

It's fine. It's okay. Um...

Probably not helping my headache.

- Is that too much? - No, it's so nice.

Well, we can hang out more.

Unless you...

- Oh, no. - Don't want to.

No, no. I'd love to.

Okay, good.

Because I'm a lot of fun.

More later?

No.

Have you ever fucked an Uber driver?

- No. - That's so something

Drew would do.

You know Drew.

Which one's Drew?

I've talked about him.

He's the one who only talks on speakerphone.

He's the fucking worst.

I'd still fuck him, though.

Maybe I should try to do that

- before we leave for London. - Mmm.

Oh, you're gonna go to London, too?

- Yeah, I told you that. - Mmm-mmm. No, you didn't.

I can't wait to go and be on Jane's team!

I'm so excited! Girls.

Say Vegemite! "Vegemite."

That's Australian.

Love It. Storying it. Posting it.

I'm fully going bi when I go to London.

The girls are so fucking hot there.

Wait. Are you, uh, seeing anyone?

Uh, no, not right now.

Did you guys know I've only been with seven people?

- Really? - Isn't that crazy?

My number's nine, including Danny. And I feel like...

Danny needs to let you get to ten.

- Right? - He needs to.

How many people have you slept with?

Um...

- Um... - Too many to count?

- No, no, no. I... - I wish I was like you,

but we have the same hair, so I'm on my way.

I love this shirt!

- Oh, really? - Mmm-hmm.

- Thanks. - Where'd you get it?

It's probably from the Gap. Is it from the Gap?

Aw, the Gap.

Um, actually, I think it is.

Aw, the Gap.

- J? J? - Hmm?

You have something in your teeth.

- Oh. Thank you. - Perfect. You got it.

I always tell people when they have something in their teeth.

I think it's like the most important thing

- you can do for a friend. - I totally agree.

I think it's so important.

I mean, it's not like the most important thing you can do.

I, like... I didn't see it.

I would have said something if I saw it, J.

♪ Will you come visit us? ♪

♪ Will you come to London? ♪

Will you come?

Well, yeah, I hope so. We'll see.

Wait, guys. I have a friend from college

who knows a bunch of the royals.

We should follow them on Instagram.

Jane hates Instagram.

I don't hate it. I just don't go on it a ton.

Well, I hope you like big, random dinner parties.

- Yeah, I love! - What?

You absolutely hate dinner parties.

This is different. When you're abroad, it's different.

When you're abroad, everything's different.

Everything is different when you're abroad.

I can't wait to meet Jane's family!

- Isn't Kat the best? - She's the best.

You hate her.

I don't hate her, but she's just a lot.

Yeah, but I like it.

You gals are gonna have fun in London, aren't you?

Oh, I almost forgot. I got muffins.

Ooh!

- Bluebs? - A bluebs and a bran.

We each have half of one now and half when we're done.

I can't have a whole one now?

No, half and half.

And then we have a snack waiting for us when we're done.

It's the smart way to do it.

It's the controlling way to do it.

I'm the thoughtful one who bought muffins.

Which one do you want?

Bran or bluebs?

Bran, obviously.

End with the bluebs.

I guess I'll have bran.

We need to figure out your type.

No, no.

Why does she touch me so much?

- You mean Brit-Brit? - Yeah.

'Cause she wants to have sex with you.

It's like way more than normal.

Look, here's the bottom line.

You can use this chick

- as a sexual portal. - Why?

But this isn't a lasting relationship.

Touch her stuff, roll around.

Then we've got to get you on those apps

so people know their way around your area.

I do not want to do that.

Can I ask you something?

Why don't you think you have to date like everyone else?

No one's gonna ring on your doorbell one day,

looking for a wishy-washy lesbian

who might want to try some stuff.

You don't know that for sure.

Come on, two at a time. Squeeze your cheeks.

This is different.

How is it different?

Because, what if somebody I know is on there

and then they're like, "What? She's gay?"

- Then what? - Then everybody knows.

Great!

It's not like people know you

as this tried and true heterosexual.

You never let anyone set you up, you don't date.

People will be like,

"Oh, good. She figured it out."

Do you think people are thinking that?

I don't know!

Everyone is just gonna want you to be happy.

What if I'm not meant to be happy?

Oh, my God.

I'm running up there, and I am not coming back down.

Fine.

I'm sitting here.

Have I ever been happy?

I don't even know what makes me happy.

I'm nervous all the time.

And I'm scared of everything.

Lucy, these are lame fucking excuses

so you don't have to step outside of your comfort zone.

You're more than capable of being happy.

Don't spew that bullshit at me.

I'm being vulnerable right now and you're attacking me.

Squeeze. You're not even comfortable in your comfort zone.

So, why not just try something new?

You try 20 different flavors of ice cream

before you settle on a single scoop. Do that.

Ice cream is different than a vagina.

How do you know? You don't know.

Yeah, I do know.

Otherwise, it would be called vagice cream.

Am I okay?

I don't want to be this thing that's different.

I don't want to have to tell everybody this big thing. It's...

I know that it's fine, and no one cares, but I care,

and I'm late.

It's so late in life.

Then don't waste any more time.

I just wish I didn't think about her so much.

You think about her a lot?

Lucy, you're gonna be fine.

Let's go to a gay bar one night and have a look around.

I'm sure there's a place with some kind of lesbian jamboree.

The Womb.

You know it's called the Womb.

I've never been more proud of you. We're going.

No. I'm not ready for that.

Please, it'll be fun. It's research.

Can I please have the other half of my muffin now?

And do you want to mention

how much better it is to end with bluebs?

Don't ignore me, Denise!

You gotta start shaving above da knees, Denise.

- Hey, pretty. Whatcha doing? - Oh, um, just...

I was just googling things.

Totally random.

Just totally random stuff.

Oh, Luce, you are so talented.

What?

Like, what are you even doing here?

Good question.

Actually, I paint. That's what I like to do.

Well, I want to see your paintings.

Oh...

No. I mean, I don't have any of them here.

I didn't think you had them with you.

Can you imagine?

I just pull out, like, 12 from under the table.

I wanna see your paintings because I bet they're amazing.

Yeah, maybe one day.

Well, when are we gonna hang out?

Um...

whenever.

Okay. Tonight?

Sure, I can do tonight. I can make that work.

Okay, well, I'll cook.

Squee! I'm so excited.

Bitch.

Oh, my God. All the time.

- Really? - Yes.

Like, boner after boner after sad little boner.

Wow.

Do they ever ask you to, like...

diddle them?

Some.

I've diddled.

I diddled. One time.

- You did? - Yes.

I mean, I had to try it at some point.

And he was cute. So, it was fine.

Wow. Did he tip you?

Oh, fuck, yeah.

But that was it. That was all I did.

That's why I'm saying. Like, really,

I wanna open a female-only studio.

They're just... They're better.

I bet not so many hairy backs.

You'd be surprised.

No, they're, um...

They're much softer.

Oh, my God!

What's your longest relationship?

I don't know. Not long.

Like, months. A couple of months.

Have you ever been in love?

Mmm!

- Really? - No.

Oh, I'm kinda jealous. Like, you have something great

to look forward to.

- Have you? - Oh, yeah.

My college boyfriend.

I was obsessed with him, and I thought that, like,

if he broke up with me, I would die.

Like, literally die.

What happened?

He moved to Portland, then he broke up with me.

And then I didn't die, so...

Cheers to that.

And then I realized

that I should probably have sex with more people.

So...

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Do you miss him?

Mmm... No.

I mean, I see him sometimes.

I feel like he's a weirdo.

And I think that he's gay, so...

Really?

I don't know.

It's a spectrum, right?

Gay, straight, bi. What does it even all mean?

I think in that case,

it means you're either gay, straight or bi.

You're funny.

You're funny.

I mean, I think everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum.

Like, I know I'm on the spectrum.

You're on the spectrum, don't you think?

- Probably. - Hmm. Love is love.

Have you ever made out with a girl?

You haven't?

- No. - What?

Why do you say that?

No, I just, like... I assumed.

Because you're a woman with the times.

What?

What does that mean?

I don't know. I just feel like...

everyone should try it at some point.

Have you?

No.

Not yet.

Show me one of your paintings.

Um...

And then I'll leave after. I promise.

You don't have to go.

Uh, I mean, you don't have to do that.

Okay.

- Just one. - Fine.

- There's... - Ooh.

This is so cool.

I love that you paint.

Oh, my God.

Lucy.

They're old. They're really old.

I haven't painted in a long time.

This is what you should be doing.

I don't know.

I should go.

This was fun.

- Yeah. Yeah. - Right?

Um, we should do it more.

- Totally. Yeah. - Yeah.

Good night.

Night-night.

"Night-night?" What?

When you let go and start to embrace who you really are,

that's when you start to open up

your hearts and your bodies.

Today, I want you to remember

to lead with hope and not with fear.

Fear only holds you back.

I don't know. I didn't ask her to stay.

Maybe I should have.

I don't like this. You have shaky voice.

No, I don't.

- Yes, you do. - God, it's just weird.

It's all... weird.

I'm weird. I hate this.

How close was the kiss?

Like, close.

Show me where?

Like, here.

That's pretty close.

I don't know about this bitch. If she's fucking with you,

I'll fuck her shit up.

Do you think she's gay?

I have no idea.

But, like, if you had to guess...

I mean, I've never kissed

a platonic girlfriend on a mouth corner.

She said women have soft backs.

Ew. Jesus. What? And you drank white wine?

Lucy, I'm genuinely alarmed.

Maybe she's more confused than I am.

Maybe.

But you need someone who knows.

Two people trying to figure out if they're lesbians together,

that might be the worst idea I've ever heard.

That's why we're going to the Womb.

- No. - Yes.

- I don't want to. - We're finding you

- a girlfriend before I leave. - Please.

♪ Heart to break... ♪

I'd make a great lesbian.

That's the real shame in all of this.

How are you doing?

Good. Great.

This girl's cute. She's cute. She's cute, she's cute.

Hi.

I'm Jane. This is Lucy.

Hi.

Do you wanna come dance with me?

Um, I...

I don't... I, uh...

I, um... I have a drink. I'm drinking it.

- So, um... - Okay.

- Go with her. - What?

Why did you do that to me?

Oh, my God! Because you never do anything.

Come on, let's have some fun.

♪ Even if it means That I'll never ♪

♪ Put myself back together ♪

♪ Gonna give you My heart to break ♪

♪ Even if I'll end up in shatters ♪

♪ Baby, it doesn't matter ♪

♪ Gonna give you My heart to break ♪

♪ I tried to fight But I can't help it ♪

♪ Don't care if this is My worst mistake ♪

♪ 'Cause no one else Could do it better ♪

♪ And that's why I give you My heart to break ♪

Right, so, I thought we'd have a quick debrief...

He sounds so fucking hot.

Jeremy from accounts.

Uh, there were a few...

- And there are... - Yeah.

Some responsibilities

that I'm gonna run up the flagpole

and see if they will fall in your lap.

Yeah, we can have that by tomorrow.

They want us to focus on it.

So, I'm just giving you a heads-up for that.

Uh-huh!

...we can tie up together.

I don't think they need to be as dispersed as they are.

But that's just the best practice.

- Uh-huh. - You know?

Whatcha doin'?

Oh, nothing. I'm just...

Dumb online shopping.

That one's kinda cute.

Oh, I'm not really a...

hole in the shoulders kind of girl.

Well, you only need

one good shoulder for that shirt.

- And you have two. - Oh?

- Mmm-hmm. - Thanks.

I just had the best idea.

- Does it involve my shoulders? - Yeah, it does.

We should have a try-on party.

What's a try-on party?

Like, try-on-my-clothes party.

I love fashion.

I should've been a stylist.

Whatever. That's not even what we're talking about.

We'll have some wine.

You try on my clothes that I never wear

and if you like them, you can keep them.

- Did you just make that up? - Mmm-mmm.

Everybody has try-on parties.

Really? I... I don't think that's true.

It is true!

Doesn't it sound fun, though?

Do you have a lot of pants?

Lucy, this is like a...

No. It's like you need more colors and pattern.

Introduce new things to your life.

And you CC'd me on that?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Hi. They didn't have any, um...

Hi!

- Oh, it's so good to see you! - Hi.

I love this jacket.

Thanks. Thank you. I love your dress?

- I designed it. - No way.

- Yeah. - That's so nice.

- How are you? - I'm good.

- How are you? - I'm so good.

I'm so excited for my girl.

Get your food and eat with us.

Oh, no, no. You guys go do

your cute little thing.

I can't believe you just asked her to eat with us.

Oh, stop. I knew she wouldn't.

Well, I'm sure she'd love to be

in the middle of our little "cute little thing."

I have so much shit to get through.

They just asked if I could leave earlier.

- I'm not going to. - Good.

Can they send Kat? Like, today?

I'll go pack her things.

All right. Enough with that already.

All right, well, maybe I'm just a little bit sad

that my best friend is moving across the world.

Well, maybe you could be happy for me.

That's what best friends are supposed to do.

- I am happy for you. - Then act like it.

Are you serious right now? When am I not happy for you?

Ooh. Ooh.

I'm not doing this now.

Oh, you're not doing this now?

When would be better for you to do this?

Since everything is always on your schedule.

I'm at work.

I don't know what happens at a spa,

but we're professionals here.

Oh, nice. You got a dig in.

Any other judgments you want to share?

- Oh, please. - What?

You want to boss me around a little bit more?

- Boss... - Tell me how to live my life?

Boss you around?

You're free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Oh, well...

I know you take that to heart.

What's that supposed to mean?

You always do whatever the fuck you want.

You feel like making out with some girl at a club,

then you make out with some girl at a club.

She asked if she could kiss me, so I said yes.

Because it's more fun to say yes.

If you wanted to, you could've done the same thing.

Why? So you could tell me I was doing it wrong?

Oh, my God, Lucy, do shit however you want.

I am not your keeper.

What? You're always controlling me.

You control everything I do.

You told me when I could eat a fucking muffin.

Yeah, because if I didn't tell you what to do,

you'd probably never leave the house.

You can't make any decisions on your own.

You don't do anything.

You can't even decide what gender of the human race

- you want to fuck. - Fuck you.

You probably do want to fuck me.

- What? - Everyone thinks that.

What are you talking about?

We're not a couple, Lucy.

Nobody thinks we're a couple. What? Are you insane?

People think we're, like, confusing twins.

What... what the fuck is wrong with you?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You can't even handle the fact that I have another friend.

Oh, what a fun friend.

You know what? At least Kat talks about things.

Yeah. It was really thrilling to find out

that she can suck a dick and order Postmates

- at the same time. - That was thrilling.

And it's fun to hear crazy fucking stories

instead of wallowing in sorrow the whole time.

At some point you're gonna have

to pull your head out of your own ass.

You think Kat could teach me how to do that?

I bet you she's tried.

Real friends tell each other shit.

I tell you everything.

Except the most important thing.

It's not about you, Jane.

I'm not saying it's about me.

Christ, if anything, it's all about you.

The only thing you can focus on

is a lunatic who touches you a lot,

whose job it is to touch people for a living.

But this is what you do.

Turn everything around into this self-pity party.

It can be really scary to try new things.

When's the last time you ever took a risk?

I'm moving to fucking London.

Yeah. You're moving back to where you're from

with your boyfriend,

and on a fucking expense account.

That's not taking a risk. That's a whim.

It's an opportunity to advance my career.

Do you ever think about actually doing something for a living?

You know, it's hard to be a painter

if you stop fucking painting.

- Fuck you! - Fuck you!

You know what?

I wouldn't fuck you. If you were the last person on Earth,

I wouldn't fuck you.

I feel sorry for you.

Don't. You don't need to.

You obviously don't know anything about me.

Well, it's not because I didn't try.

Have a good trip.

- Just call her. - Oh, God.

When do you think the last time I wore this was?

When you filmed The Wiz?

I don't feel joy.

How could you? It's very ugly.

This is hers.

- Whose? - Hers.

Her name is Lucy.

She's your best friend.

What, we can't say her name anymore?

She probably doesn't even know...

She has, like, 4,000 of these.

So, why don't you just call her?

Tell her you have it. Make up.

Maybe you won't be sad.

I'm not calling her. I'm not sad.

I'm done. She's never happy for me.

So, what, you're just gonna go to London

and never talk to your best friend?

Probably.

Oh, I hate this stupid sweater!

Okay. All right, listen, this is your favorite sweater.

Now I think we're just misplacing our feelings.

I just wanted her to move forward.

I know. But it's not up to you.

Well, it should be.

You were saying she called you bossy, right?

Aw, come here.

I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. Come here.

I'm sorry, baby.

Maybe we should go earlier.

Everything is gonna be okay.

It's just a stressful time right now.

Are we waiting on your friend?

Mmm-mmm. No, it's just me.

Oh. What can I get you?

Um, I will have a veggie burger.

Mmm-hmm. That it?

Um, and an iced coffee, please.

Mmm. Cream?

Yes, please. Oh, no, actually...

Just... Just black.

Ta-da!

Try-on party!

- Oh, wow. Time to try me on. - Ooh.

Or whatever.

- Wow. - Here.

Put this one on. I'm gonna go grab wine.

Oh, my God.

I feel like we need music.

Ooh, and atmosphere.

Um...

Much better.

There we go.

Look at your cute little body.

Oh, my God.

Wait. Okay.

I'm gonna help you.

Um...

Is that your... Did you...

Why did you put it over your head?

- I don't know. - You could've just, like,

stepped into it here. Ooh.

It's gonna look so good though, once it's on.

Oh, sorry!

Oh, there's a zipper.

That's so funny!

- That's so funny. - Here we go.

Oh, my God. Yes, babe!

- Wow. - You look so hot.

- What? - I don't use that word like that.

Luce, you have no idea how hot you are.

Like, seriously. Turn around. Look at your ass.

You have to keep that.

I'm a genius. I know.

Where do you even wear something like this?

Like the clurb.

Where? Is that a restaurant?

The clurb. It's, like, a funny word for the club.

- Oh, the club? That's right. - Yes!

- I don't... - You're keeping that.

This one's next.

Let's take a break. Let's take a pot break.

- Okay. - For the anxiety.

You're right.

You know, colors look good on you.

Gray's a color.

I can't stop thinking about your paintings.

Please.

No, seriously. Did you, like,

go to fancy art school or something?

No.

Why not?

I don't know.

Well, why don't you be a painter?

I don't know.

Why don't you really try fashion?

'Cause it's hard.

And I'm lazy.

And it's just like a hobby.

But it's a tragedy

because I would've been, like, a major success.

But you're different.

I feel like there's something going on here.

Yeah?

So...

Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna go pee.

I should, um... I should probably go.

Really?

Yeah, I just have

a lot of errands to run and stuff,

but thanks for having me over.

That was really fun.

Don't you want to stay a little while longer?

Just a little.

Yeah, I do. I...

I gotta go.

Well, thanks for...

everything.

Go back to bed.

Boop.

I love that she thinks

we were sisters in a past life.

I've always thought that about us.

Bye, see you guys...

Bye!

- Fucking love that class! - Me, too.

Are you sure? You don't have to do this.

No, I'm positive.

I actually think it would be

really helpful to get there sooner.

Great.

And Kat's agreed to go early also.

Even better!

Anyway, let me know if you need anything, Jane.

And in the meantime, I'll make sure

everything is set up for you across the lake.

Well, thank you again.

No, thank you, Jane.

You're saving me a crapload of money.

Start packing. Yeah?

Hey.

- Oh, hi. - How are you feeling?

Good. You?

Great. Except, whose idea was it

to drink and smoke so much?

- Yours. - Oh, yeah. Oops.

Wrong folder.

I'm still high.

What are you doing tonight?

I can't wait for this day to be over.

Hmm?

Oh, nothing. I was, um...

I need a nap.

- Me, too. - Yeah.

Um... Are things weird?

Between us?

Yeah.

No. Why would they be weird?

I had so much fun.

Like, I always wanted to try that

and we did.

Maybe we can do it again.

Sure. I mean, yeah. I...

I'm free tonight if you want to...

I mean, I know it's last minute.

Well, I can't tonight, but soon.

- Cool. - Cool.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday To my lovely and funny ♪

♪ And-sometimes-mad-at-me- For-no-reason-at-all baby ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Aw! Thank you, my babe.

You're welcome. I used to work at IHOP,

so I know the recipe.

You can share some of that if you want.

- No, I can't. - Okay.

- It's your birthday. - Good to know.

What was I thinking? What was I thinking?

Hmm. What if she doesn't call?

She will!

But what if she doesn't?

Baby, she will. Come here. Look.

You know what?

If she doesn't call, you always got me.

It's not the same.

- None taken. - I didn't say, "No offense."

Yet you should have.

You know, we've never not spoken

on our birthdays for our entire friendship.

I don't even think we've spent one apart.

Baby...

she is going to call you.

Well, what if she's sad and she needs me?

Then you both are gonna talk about all of that

when she calls. Okay?

- Okay. Okay. - Okay. Right.

Yeah.

- That's for me? Thank you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Mmm! Mmm! - You're a monster.

What's up?

Nothing.

It's Jane's birthday today

and, I don't know, we're still in a fight, so...

- Aw, that sucks. - Yeah.

What are you up to tonight?

Mmm, I may have dinner with a friend.

My dumb ex texted me saying he was in town,

so he might stop by here.

Cool.

Where is this stuff?

Um, bottom drawer.

Thank you. You the best.

Please don't pick up.

Please don't pick up. Please don't pick up.

Hey, it's Jane.

Leave a message. Thank you.

Hi, um...

This is me. Uh, it's Lucy.

Um... I'm just calling to say,

uh, happy birthday to you,

and, um, many, many great days.

Uh...

I hope you're doing good.

And I will see you soon.

I mean, talk to you soon.

Happy birthday.

You look great.

- Okay. Look at you. - I can't believe

- how long it's been. - You look so good.

- You're hilarious. - Yeah?

I'm just calling to say happy birthday to you,

and, um, many, many great days.

Uh, I hope you're doing good.

And I will see you soon. I mean, talk to you soon.

Happy birthday.

Hi, um, this is me.

Uh, it's Lucy...

Jane?

Hey, when you have a second, can I see you in my office?

- Sure. I'll be right there. - Okay, thanks.

You guys, she totally fell for it.

She's coming. She fell for it. Here she comes.

- Surprise! - Surprise!

Happy birthday! Make a wish for London Town.

I told them no cake, so I'm not tempted to eat any.

But I love cake.

Sorry. I don't want it.

Can you turn to your left?

- Happy birthday. - Thank you.

I have a little something for you.

A credit

to the Tate Modern gift shop.

It's been in my wallet for about five years.

Thank you so much, Mr. Davis.

You deserve it. Have a safe trip.

Oh, I don't leave for another three weeks.

- I'm gonna say goodbye now. - Okay.

- Open it. - Oh.

You didn't have to get me anything.

Hammock Sanctuary?

- Have you been? - No.

Oh, my God, you're gonna love it.

It's a mind-body new vibes retreat.

And everything's in a hammock.

You eat in a hammock, you sleep in a hammock,

you live in a hammock.

You could have that privilege.

Oh, my! Uh...

Wh... where is it?

In the middle of the woods, totally off the grid.

And you're not even supposed to bring your phone,

but I will for Insta, obviously,

'cause I'm not a fucking psychopath.

Smile. Say, "Hammock girls."

Hammock gir... I need to hear it.

Hammock girls.

All right, so, is this a cult?

'Cause it sounds like a cult.

It was a gift. What was I supposed to say?

You say, "No, thank you, white lady. I'm good."

Lucy's not here.

I know. I'm just...

- looking at... - What?

- Something. - Okay.

I think it's nice that she called.

Maybe you should call her back.

I think you should.

She doesn't even know that I'm leaving earlier.

You should tell her.

- Did you already tell her? - Me?

No! Nah. Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

You're being weird. Why are you being weird?

Why is everyone being so fucking weird?

What?

I don't know. I...

don't think I could go.

That's fine. You can come later.

Yeah.

- Fine. That's fine. - What?

I don't think I could go.

I just said you can come whenever.

I mean "go."

Like... at all.

- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. - What are you talking about?

I don't want to talk about this right now.

Well, you're already talking about it,

so... can you please continue?

My life... is here.

- I'm part of your life. - Yes, yes. Of course.

I just mean... my job.

And my family and my friends.

You didn't even ask me if I wanted to go.

You just assumed I would.

Ah, fuck it. I've just been thinking about this so much.

And I love you, and I want to be with you.

I really do, but...

I don't think I could do it there.

Maybe, you know, after a year I'll go.

Or maybe you'll come back,

make it work.

Have a great celebration.

Hey.

- Hi. - You got a sec?

Yeah, I sure do. I'm here till 5:00.

Um...

I just wanted to talk to you to let you know...

that I'm gonna be going to Portland in a month.

Yeah, and I'll probably be there for a little while.

Great.

- For the ex? - Yeah.

I don't know if we're, like... getting back together

or if this is the worst idea in the world...

But I just... I wanted to tell you because...

It's okay. Yeah.

Well, 'cause you...

'Cause you make the schedule.

Right.

Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Thank you.

- Are we okay? - Mmm-hmm.

- Yeah, we're okay. - Okay.

Cool.

Love ya.

Are you serious?

Wow.

I wasn't expecting that.

Are you sure?

And you're just realizing this recently?

I think I've known for a while.

Have you been with girls?

Mmm-hmm. One.

Did you like it?

I think maybe I liked it a little bit more than she did.

Mmm.

Do you want me to destroy her?

I'm not really sure what to say.

You can say anything.

So, do you have a type?

No. I don't know.

I like brunettes with long hair

who are attracted to women.

It's funny,

I always felt like you treated me

like your gay best friend.

But, uh, it turns out you're mine.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I...

couldn't tell you.

I'm sorry about the girl.

It's all good.

Good night, Ben.

Come on.

♪ True love will find you In the end ♪

♪ You'll find out Just who was your friend ♪

♪ Don't be sad ♪

♪ I know you will... ♪

Oh, my aunt is a nurse.

That's... I don't know how you guys do it.

I'm not cool with needles.

Oh, but it's so satisfying when you get the vein.

Right.

♪ True love will find you In the end... ♪

So, what do you do?

Um, I'm...

I'm an artist.

Bathroom.

Whoa!

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh, shit.

♪ 'Cause true love Is searching too... ♪

I would fuck Helen Mirren and I'd kill Angelina.

You would fuck Helen Mirren?

That's crazy.

- No, I'll get it. - No!

Uh, no, I'm gonna get it. You can get the next one.

Okay.

We can go for a small pizza.

Wow.

That's generous of you.

But no sides, okay?

Just tap water. That's it.

♪ True love will find you In the end ♪

♪ Are you ready For the weekend of your life? ♪

♪ With the hammock Come with me to a hammock ♪

♪ Have a hammock Sit in a hammock ♪

♪ Enjoy it Are you ready? ♪

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Welcome... to the Hammock Sanctuary.

Like the bosoms of our foremothers,

the hammock cradles us.

If the trees of the forest are our legs...

the hammock is our vulva.

Let's close our eyes and allow ourselves

to be enveloped by our mesh cocoons.

We are all seeds of the universe,

and soon we will begin to bloom.

Let's close our eyes.

Let's close them.

- And we'll close them. - Okay.

- Okay, close your eyes. - I will.

Well, you're not closing them.

As we open our throat chakra,

I encourage you all

to release your voice

as ferociously as the Vishuddha...

will allow.

That was nice, Kat.

Would it help if I rocked you?

No, I'm okay, thank you.

- Let me rock you. - I'm good.

It'd be best if I rocked you.

You need to let it out. It's in here.

It's right in there.

It needs to come out.

Okay, well... Jesus Christ.

Hi.

What are you gonna get?

Um., maybe an omelet.

- That sounds good. - Mmm.

You girls ready?

Yeah. May I have an omelet with tomato and spinach?

- Mmm-hmm. - Please. And an iced coffee.

Thank you.

I'll do the Chinese chicken salad and a green tea. Thanks.

No more veggie burgers?

Just switching it up.

Wild!

So, when do you leave?

I'm going early, actually.

I leave next week.

Next... Wow, that's...

What made you want to do that?

Danny's not going anymore.

You and I were in a fight.

It's easier to leave than deal with those things, I suppose.

Danny's not going?

Why? What happened?

He said he likes his life here.

Which is fine.

I'm sorry. Are you okay?

It's fine.

It's fine.

What have you been up to?

Well, I... I quit the spa.

Holy shit! That's amazing, Lucy. Good for you.

Thanks. I started painting again.

- Really? - Mmm-hmm.

That's great!

And I've been on some girl dates.

What? You don't start with that?

- I'm just taking it slow. - Wow!

Okay, you're playing it so cool.

What happened with BB Brit-Brit?

Oh, BB Brit-Brit, yes.

Um, she's straight.

Ah, I doubt that very much.

Yeah.

We had a try-on party.

- That is not a thing. - It is a thing.

Okay, did you make out?

Did you make out?

You may ask me some questions that I will say yes or no to.

Okay. Boobs in mouth?

Wow. Um, yes.

Did you go down on her?

- No. - Did she go down on you?

- Yes. - Um, did you finger-bang her?

- Oh, my God. - Butt stuff? Any butt stuff?

What? Butt stuff? Jane, that is hardcore.

You definitely did butt stuff.

- No. - Yeah!

Oh, my God. We don't need to talk about it.

I just can't believe I missed all of this.

I'm... I'm...

I'm really sorry, Lucy.

- You don't have to apologize. - Yes, I do.

And I really am.

I was just... I don't know, I was...

I was frustrated.

You were so stuck, I was just trying to help.

Yeah, I know.

I don't know why I've always been

so set on solving your problems.

Hmm. Hmm.

May I venture a guess?

Have at it.

I think that perhaps, I don't know,

maybe it's easier to focus on someone else's problems

than face your own,

and perhaps there's some control issues

from being forced to move here when you were a teenager.

No, that's not it.

Oh, yeah, that's not it?

I took you for granted.

I don't know why it took swinging in a dirty hammock

for me to realize that I really fucking need you.

Oh, I hate this!

I feel like I've skipped a whole season of your life.

What am I gonna miss

when I'm on the other side of the world?

Probably butt stuff.

Okay, can we figure out when you'll visit?

Yeah, I'll come when you get settled.

In two weeks?

Jane, you're gonna be okay.

You're gonna love being there.

It's your home.

I mean, you speak the language. That's good.

You make super-annoying friends, like, really easily.

You're gonna find a new me in, like, a week.

I will never find a new you.

I don't wanna miss your first girlfriend.

Do you have a ride to the airport?

Do you want me to take you?

No, you are a terrible driver.

I'm not. I feel that I'm actually a really good driver. One car...

You have to see what's going on behind you right now.

Oh, my God! Wow!

The whole thing? I've never thought of doing that.

- But I will now. - That is great.

Whoo! London Town!

- You sound like Kat. - Wow.

That's actually the meanest thing you've ever said to me.

And you've said some really fucked-up shit.

Oh.

Yeah.

Okay.

- Cheer up, buttercup. - Oh, please. No.

Oh.

Is it still broken?

I thought you got that fixed.

Yeah, well, you just have to open it from the inside.

It's not broken.

That sounds really safe.

Okay!

Here we go.

- Oh! - Oh, Jesus! Shall we swap?

That's it.

Okay.

- Whoo! - Jesus!

Why are you smiling?

Um... What? Because I'm happy for you.

This is really exciting.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm great.

I'm also... You know, I'm happy for me, too.

Because I won't be here to boss you around?

No, because I'm coming with you.

- What? - I'm coming.

I'm gonna come on this plane to London Town.

What are you talking about?

I know that you really like to tell me what I need,

but I know what you need also.

And that is me, so I'm coming

for emotional support and overall encouragement.

- Are you serious? - Well, yes!

You had shaky voice at the diner.

No, I didn't. It was the wind.

- You were trembling. - How long are you gonna stay?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe a fortnight. That means two weeks in England.

- Okay? - Yeah, I know what a fortnight is.

It's just to get you settled, you know?

This is crazy!

And I brought you a muffin.

You can have half when we take off and half over New York.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

We're going to London together.

I know. It's great. Hey, no.

I said half when we take off and half over New York.

You're so bossy.

Yeah, well, that's who I am now. I'm in charge.

What are you gonna do with your car?

Oh.

Um, I'm gonna, uh, park it.

What about your passport?

I have it in my bag.

- Has it expired? - They expire?

Do you have luggage?

I have a carry-on.

You're gonna need a warmer jacket than that.

No. Okay, that's enough. No more talking.

♪ In Los Ageless The winter never comes ♪

♪ In Los Ageless The mothers milk their young ♪

♪ But I can keep running ♪

♪ No, I can keep running ♪

♪ The Los Ageless Hang out by the bar ♪

♪ Burn the pages Of unwritten memoirs ♪

♪ But I can keep running ♪

♪ No, I can keep running ♪

♪ How can anybody have you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you ♪

♪ And not lose Their minds, too? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you ♪

♪ And not lose Their minds, too? ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ The last days Of the sunset superstars ♪

♪ Girls in cages Playing their guitars ♪

♪ But how can I leave? ♪

♪ I just follow the hood Of my car ♪

♪ In Los Ageless The waves, they never break ♪

♪ They build and build until You don't have no escape ♪

♪ But how can I leave? ♪

♪ I just follow my hood To the sea ♪

♪ Go to sleep ♪

♪ How can anybody have you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you ♪

♪ And not lose Their minds, too? ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh my Lord Oh, we really did it now ♪

♪ I'm a monster And you're my sacred cow ♪

♪ But I can keep running ♪

♪ No, I can keep on running ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ How can anybody have you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you ♪

♪ And not lose Their minds, too? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you? ♪

♪ How can anybody have you And lose you ♪

♪ And not lose their minds? ♪

♪ Oh ♪