Original subtitles

DRILLING NOISE

MAN: Dr Campion.

Got this is for you. Ah, thanks.

Bartholomew West - the intern, remember?

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Look, may sound presumptuous,

but how would you feel about being my mentor?

The thought doesn't exactly fill me with joy, Homer.

Med school said that we should have one.

Yeah. What you got there, Frank?

Nothing.

Hello, Dr Beaumont.

Bart! Very happy we didn't scare you off.

Maybe we should've tried harder.

Frank, stop picking on the intern.

You were a baby doctor once, too. I was never a bloody idiot.

That's a matter of opinion.

Unless you can explain how

that breakfast fits into your new diet?

None of your bloody business.

Your were doing well. What happened?

(man screams)

Hey. Stay still. Stay still.

Turn that thing off.

Take that.

We got ya. You'll be okay.

Call the ED. Tell them we need a trolley, Bart.

Take it easy, mate. We've got you.

You'll be alright.

Thought you blokes were supposed to wear hard boots.

I'm bleeding.

That will happen if you put a hedge trimmer through your foot.

I'll take a look at him.

Don't touch anything. Leave everything alone. Let us do our job.

What is it, mate? Pain.

Hurry 'em up, Homer.

What sort of pain is it, mate? What sort of pain?

Come on, stay with us.

Stay with us.

They're coming. Turn that bloody thing off.

Here. For his foot.

Thanks, Bart.

No pulse.

Page the arrest team. Right.

Anything I can do? Stay out of our bloody way.

This is Dr West. We have a code blue.

CATE: Still in VT, no pulse.

SEAN: Dan, set up for intubation. DAN: Yep.

CHARLOTTE: Cannula's in.

DAN: Charging again to 200.

CHARLOTTE: Prep some adrenaline and we need a litre of Hartmann's up.

CATE: Got it.

Clear.

Still in pulseless VT. Gonna go again?

SEAN: Charging at 360.

Okay, I'm in.

Bart, I need you to be the IV pole. Alright, I got him.

FRANK: Clear.

Still no pulse. Equal air entry.

Charging again to 360.

Looks like we're getting quite a crowd happening here, Frank.

I thought I told you not to touch anything.

So you did.

Clear.

Someone get the spineboard. Let's get him inside.

CATE: I've got it.

CATE: Look out, coming through!

Somebody page Quade. Already done.

I'll let Admin know what's happened.

Von, the patient's belongings - what should I do with them?

SEAN: I'll get the monitor running.

He won't be needing these, will he?

That was Dr Campion's...breakfast.

Health nut is he?

SEAN: Charging at 360.

FRANK: Clear!

DAN: If you guys are okay here, I'll get Erica to replace me.

I gotta get back to Triage. CHARLOTTE: Okay.

FRANK: Clear!

Where have you been, Quade?

It's crazy upstairs - the new boss is on deck today

and he wants us all there to meet him.

The consultant you woke during the night?

That's the one. We've got a pulse.

About bloody time.

I'll get another cannula in.

Bloods.

FBC, UECs, cardiac enzymes and troponin, group and hold.

And do a BSL while you're at it.

We'll need a loading dose of Amiodarone, 300mg IV.

What can I do?

Assess his bloody foot.

CATE: 12 lead ECG? SEAN: Thanks, Cate.

I don't suppose anyone knows this guy?

His name's Glen Lee. I checked his wallet.

I'll get onto Personnel.

SEAN: That was good thinking.

What are you doing here?

Morning, Frank.

You okay?

Basic rule of conversation.

I ask a question, you answer it.

The employee who arrested in the grounds. How is he?

Let me rephrase that.

What gives you the right to go through my files?

I believe he was wearing non-standard footwear,

which is in our favour in the event of a claim.

Make sure it's documented and witnessed, will you?

If you don't mind, I thought I'd contact his family and let them know

before we start covering our arses.

And I understand you're without a Nursing Unit Manager.

Tell me, how do you expect to run a department without one?

Frank Campion here.

I need home contact details for a groundsman called Glen Lee.

You're still recovering from a heart attack, Frank.

I hope you're not pushing yourself too hard.

That's right. Lee, Glen.

She has a fever. Can't seem to break it.

Diarrhoea and stomach cramps.

When did it start?

Around one o'clock this morning, but she's got worse since then.

She can't keep anything down?

Nothing, not even boiled water.

Okay, then.

Let's have a look at you, then, little lady. It's okay.

I'm just gonna pull up your shirt here and wrap this around your arm.

Okay?

Does he really have to do that? I can tell you she's dehydrated.

Her tongue's coated, her lips and gums are dry.

We'll get her started on IV fluids as soon as I've examined her.

Alright, Mrs Booth?

We're gonna need to know everything you ate before you got sick, Ashley.

Say, for the last two days?

Can you remember that? I think so.

If you're thinking food poisoning, it can't be.

I prepare all our food and we've eaten exactly the same meals.

Have you swapped any of sandwiches at school?

Ashley's schooled at home.

Oh. What does that mean? Do you spend all your time with Mum?

Well, she saw her father two weeks ago.

That was the last time we've been apart.

This could take time for us to work out what's going here.

Why don't you go grab yourself a coffee?

No. Thank you, I'll stay.

It's alright. I'll come and get you. No. I'm not leaving her.

Right, we've got ST elevations of two, three and V1.

Consistent with an inferior MI?

Give that man a gold star.

He'll be moved to Cardiology, right? It depends.

If he's stable cardiologically,

it might be better to take him to surgery to address his foot injury.

How do you know what's first priority?

Secondary assessment will tell us.

How you doing there?

Bleeding's almost stopped. Pedal pulses are intact.

Good.

Write up some antibiotic cover and an ADT.

Clean the wound with saline then re-dress with a pressure bandage.

Right.

Right.

Have we ordered a specialist consult yet?

Not yet. We're just...

I want to be kept informed of this man's progress

every step of the way.

Dr Newell is concerned

that the hospital may be held liable for Mr Lee's condition.

No, I'm concerned about the wellbeing of an employee.

Alright, ST elevation is greater than 5mm.

Any abnormal heart sounds? No.

May I?

Order a Coronary Care bed now.

Look, I'd get on to that secondary assessment now, Jack, if I was you.

After you've done that, I want to see you in the Surgeon's Lounge.

Being late to meet your new boss

on top of all the other trouble you've caused

is most probably not a wise idea today.

Telling you, I'm dead.

Time will tell, Jackie boy.

Is she always that stitched up?

Yes, Erica. She is.

Please, make yourselves comfortable.

I thought you'd want to meet your new Director of Surgery.

Everyone should be here in a minute.

I'd rather eat rat poison.

Bit drastic, don't you think?

Don't know most of the people here.

Half the team are away on study exchanges.

NEWELL: Ah, Doctor. MAN: Alison.

That's gotta be him.

You look lovely. Thanks so much.

It's nice to see you again.

Could be hope for me yet. He might be senile.

You want a boss who's senile?

Ah, it's a long story.

I'm into long stories.

Let me put it this way.

We crossed swords recently and frankly, not impressed.

In fact, I'm more than unimpressed.

The man called the Director of Emergency Medicine to dob me in.

You know, I would've thought a top-gun consultant

would have the guts to fight his own battles.

I'd like to know who the hell he thinks he is.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Your new Director of Surgery, Mikolos Vlasek.

"Mike" will do fine, thanks.

Don't go anywhere, Dr Quade, you and I need to have a little chat.

ALISON: Mike. Dr Johnson.

MIKE: Pleasure to meet you.

And the rest of the surgical team.

Total control freak.

Ten to one says the kid cuts loose the second she can.

She wouldn't even let the kid sit down in Triage

until she'd wiped the seat?

I'd believe that.

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Kid's sick and her mother's worried.

Well, I chased up her medical records.

You sure these are hers?

They're huge, I know. But they are hers. Trust me.

Multiple admissions for most of her life.

Don't think this could be something like Munchausen's by proxy do you?

You know, it would fit with the obsessive parent routine, you know?

Mum making the daughter sick just to get some attention.

Not even close, mate. Right.

Ashley's been in remission from leukaemia for five years.

They nearly lost her when she was four.

Might explain why Mum's being a bit anxious, don't you think?

So, you still think it could be food poisoning?

No parent can watch their child 24 hours a day -

no matter how vigilant they think they are.

I'll talk to you about it later.

Thanks, Mike. Catch up soon, hey? Sure.

Not so fast, Dr Quade.

Look, I'm very sorry about what happened

but I have got a severely lacerated foot in the ED I need to attend.

Don't worry about that. I'll handle it.

What you need to do right now is start getting used to the idea

that from now on you are gonna be my shadow.

My protege.

No, slave.

You do nothing I don't tell you to do.

You go nowhere I don't tell you to go.

Is this some sort of weird payback?

I don't know what you mean? But I got your first job for you.

Shouldn't you be scrubbed to operate on that guy's foot?

New boss is doing it.

I have the important task of getting his video camera from his car.

What does he want with a video camera?

I didn't ask, Frank. I'm too busy figuring out why I'm his slave.

What? Oh, I see.

It's payback for being an upstart, is it?

Yeah. The gall of some people.

Surely it won't be that bad.

You'll learn heaps from the consultant, won't you?

Maybe, but someone like Vlasek

could short-circuit my career if he wants to.

They left his shoes.

I don't think he'll be wanting them now.

I can finish up if you like.

Na, ta, but nearly done.

Ah, guys...

..that's a toe, right?

Ah, yes - that's a toe.

What are the odds of that still being viable?

I don't know, Bart.

We had a guy whose penis was put down a toilet bowl once.

They manage to reattach that.

Where there's a willy, there's a way.

Really?

I'm such an idiot.

No, you're not.

The guy had arrested, his foot was a mess.

It's not your fault.

Well, you're not off the hook yet, alright?

Third floor, Operating Theatre, holding bay.

Don't get lost.

Hey, Homer! Where's my breakfast?

Oh, that greasy bag the boy had?

I threw that out.

This woman is no friend of yours. Remember that.

Now go and get me a doughnut, quick smart.

You ignore that order and I might forget about that.

Got it.

You going to Theatre? Yeah, why?

This is Glen Lee's toe.

It needs to be reattached. What?

Please don't tell Dr Campion.

Please?

A word?

If you haven't got the nursing rosters, get out. I'm busy.

You know what you did was wrong, don't you?

Sending Bart out to do your dirty work.

You are not my mother. Of which I am eternally grateful.

Last couple of weeks have been tough.

But you don't deal with stress by eating rubbish

and working longer hours.

That was the first doughnut I've had in six weeks.

Besides, I never even got to eat it. So stop nagging me.

Your funeral.

Shit.

(groans)

Psst, Dr Campion.

You trying to kill me or something?

I don't know how many times I have to say it -

it can't be food poisoning.

People say that all the time and, um,

then we find out, that one ate the fish

and the other was called away and answered the phone

and didn't eat anything and...

And I had a friend once who wasn't allowed to eat junk food.

So, when I used to go over and play, I used to smuggle some in.

Ashley doesn't have friends over.

She has contact with kids her own age via the Internet.

Oh.

Right.

They have a chat channel for kids who've survived leukaemia.

You know that a patient's considered clear of the disease

after five years of remission?

But sometimes they relapse, don't they, Mum?

Mrs Booth, I understand your concern for Ashley,

but her symptoms have nothing to do with leukaemia.

Everything we've seen points to food poisoning.

Do you have children, Dr Everleigh?

No.

Do you?

Then please, leave the parenting to me

and just concentrate on trying to find out what's wrong with her.

Will you at least entertain the idea

that Ashley's eaten something that you don't know about?

Maybe something out of date.

I am scrupulous with use-by dates and freezer times.

I clean out my fridge regularly.

Let me put this another way -

if Ashley hasn't left the house in several days,

then what's making her sick is in the house.

Fine, if you're so sure that it's something inside the house,

then go and find it.

I wasn't suggesting...

No, please, really. I insist.

And when you fail to find anything,

maybe you can get on with helping Ashley to get well again.

Go on. Take the keys and go.

It's better if you go. Oh.

Go, look around, take a few swabs and get back quickly.

Sean, come on. Remember what happened last time?

Ashley's symptoms aren't improving.

We need to know what's going on with her and we need to know now.

Alright.

Dr Vlasek.

I'm a consultant, Jack, so it's "mister", not "doctor".

It's ironic, isn't it?

You work all those years so they'll call you doctor,

then you bust your arse to get higher up the chain

so they'll call you mister again.

I prefer "Mike" anyway, so it's a moot point.

(reads) "100 certain to get a haircut."

"Seven letters, second letter 'O'."

I wanted to talk to you about what you said before,

about the whole slave thing.

I need to know what you mean. Sit down.

100 - ton. Certain - sure.

Tonsure. Ha ha.

What's your philosophy about being a surgeon, Jack?

Come on, you must have one.

I don't.

Are you a passionate surgeon?

How do you feel when you're in the operating theatre?

Is it that whole God complex thing,

or does a big hit at the table make you feel like having sex?

I don't think about it in those terms -

either of those terms.

Your registrar - Vincent Hughes - how did you get on with him?

Good.

Tricky at first.

But I wanted to clarify...

You were friends, weren't you, before you got teamed up?

You'll find my authority to be absolute.

Think you can handle that?

Someone really should take a cattle prod to you.

You should be way, way further ahead in your career path.

Doctors your age are specialising by now. You know that?

Well, I haven't decided what specialty I'd like to pursue yet.

Tell me something.

What drives Frank Campion?

Is it just ego,

or is he a man covering insecurities with maximum volume?

He's the best doctor I've ever worked with.

So far...

..in your illustrious career.

Lookin' a bit toey there, Frank.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, nothing.

Just want you to know my team's got your back

for those few occasions

when your team doesn't quite get off on the right foot.

Vlasek?

Oh, bloody hell!

Frank?

Frank.

I was hoping you and I could meet up this afternoon.

I've got some questions about the ED budget.

How many ways should I say it?

Keep your nose out of my business. Let me run my department my way.

Despite what your ego is telling you, this isn't personal.

Oh, really? Yeah, really.

Questions have been asked about the amount of money

being directed towards the ED in recent months.

So what? The place can't run on fresh air.

Well, I know that,

but there have also been allusions to our former relationship.

Well, they must have come from someone

who knows bugger all about our current one.

Speaking of money - what's with the surgical clown in the bandana?

How much did his appointment cost you?

It's none of your business. Oh, come off it, Alison.

You know how closely the ED operates with the surgical team.

Why couldn't you employ somebody I've actually worked with before?

Someone who'd bat for Team Campion, you mean?

Sorry, Mike Vlasek actually happens to be the best.

Frank, the meeting.

I've been putting it off for a few weeks,

waiting for you to get on top of things,

but given your current extracurricular activities,

I'm assuming you're in perfect health.

My extracurricular activities?

You seem to be seeing an awful lot of Eve.

Yes, let's talk about Eve, shall we?

We had a very interesting conversation the other day

about why she quit medicine.

I think she's deluded.

She seems to think you had something to do with it.

But I said, "No, Alison's got far too much integrity for that."

About that...

"She's not the kind of person who would dump her best mate in it

"just to save her own backside."

Eve was the one who made the mistake, not me.

No, Eve was the one who owned up to it.

She'd never make it as a doctor. You know that as well as I do.

You can't rationalise this away, Alison.

You behaved badly then and you are behaving badly now,

and frankly, I am fed up to the back teeth with it.

So either you go, or I do.

(whistles)

Frank, friend of yours out in Triage wants to see you.

The, ah, Professor.

Bugger! Where's our little intern?

Here, sir - ah, Dr Campion.

Homer, I've got a job for you, a chance to redeem yourself.

A mate of mine in Triage needs your attention.

Of course, Dr Campion. What's the brief?

Are you sure? It's not normally a doctor's...

It'll do Homer the world of good

to follow a patient through from beginning to end.

Dan'll give you the brief.

Do you think Dr Campion will ever get my name right?

Well, stranger things have happened, Bart.

I dunno what it is about him -

the second he's around I turn into an incompetent idiot.

Yeah, Frank seems to have that effect on people.

I asked him to mentor him. Has he mentioned it?

Nah. But then he wouldn't. Not to me.

Yeah. Oh, well, here we go. Redemption awaits.

"Don't stuff up, Bart."

Professor, this is Dr West.

Great pleasure, Dr West.

Good to meet you, too, Professor.

Does the usual routine include a shower?

Of course, and a change of clothes, and a sandwich.

We check his general health, ah, make sure he's got somewhere to stay,

then we send him on his way.

He'll wanna hear my symptoms.

Oh! Of course, of course.

Er, muscle twitching - that's new.

Restlessness - also new.

I did experience a touch of insomnia recently,

which I've suffered from before.

Mmm.

Well, it sounds like some sort of disorder

of the central nervous system...

The Professor presents with different systems every time we see him.

He's a true enigma.

Well, let's get you cleaned up

and I'll give you a thorough examination, hey?

Way to go, Bart.

Do we do something with these?

Just bag them for disposal.

Can't we get them washed for him?

Oh, I think they're a bit beyond that.

Out with the old, in with the new.

Possessions - a shackle to keep us tethered to them.

Wouldn't mind shoes a size larger, this time.

Those are a bit...

Tight?

As a drum. Ha ha.

You won't find anything there.

The Professor travels light.

Baggage makes you a tourist.

Oh, here.

Thank you, Vonny. Thank you, Vonny.

(shivers)

What are you looking at?

Bit of a rash there, see?

You had that long, Professor?

Bit of a problem. Bit of leakage down there.

Incontinence? Yeah.

Significant, do you think?

I dunno. It's possible.

Sean, hi, it's me.

Hey, how you goin'?

Good. I'm in the house.

This is definitely my kind of place.

Meaning?

Meaning it's tidy, neat, minimalist.

And there's nothing, and I mean nothing,

that could attract any dust.

Go check out the fridge.

Wow.

Okay, there is absolutely nothing festering away in this fridge.

There must be something, stay on it. Alright.

Ashley's blood results.

You were right - faecal specimen identified salmonella bacteria.

Cate. Yeah.

The results have come back positive for salmonella.

Well, I'm telling you that

there's no way that she could have gotten that from this kitchen.

Okay, well, stay on it. Call me back.

I'll try the bedroom. I'll speak to you later.

Okay, bye.

Do you want me to notify the Health Department?

No, thanks, I'll do it. Okay.

Anything I can do?

Yeah, there is, actually. See what you can find out from Ashley.

Maybe there's something she's not telling us.

Hi, Ashley. I'm Erica.

This is really pleasant. I've never actually...

Here you go. Chicken, okay?

Cheese, mayonnaise, no salt - how you like it.

Thank you. Thank you.

Protein, calcium. Good nutrition is...

Tell me about the symptoms. Is the dizziness there all the time?

Ah, yeah. More and more often.

Sometimes it comes in by breathlessness.

You didn't mention that before. It's a small thing.

Hey, what's he doing in a bed?

Ah, Bart wants him in for observation.

Have you told him what the situation is?

Yes, but he's presenting with symptoms

that he hasn't mentioned before.

Doesn't he always?

G'day, Professor, how you doing?

Nothing but praise for your new offsider, Frank. He's a good man.

Don't you even think of doing anything trickier than simple bloods

without running it by me.

You got it? Course not.

Pulse 102, blood pressure 100/70. That's good.

What a find - young Dr West.

Frank had better watch his back. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. He'll be quaking in his boots.

Bet there are about a squillion germs in here.

Don't you worry, I am a great germ-buster.

Bacteria, viruses. What about mites? They're everywhere.

Hey, there goes one now!

Don't you ever worry about getting sick?

Worrying about getting sick sometimes makes you sick.

I guess so.

Aren't you looking forward to seeing your friends?

Why would I? I can talk to them on-line whenever I want.

Hmm.

Do you have any pets? Cat or a dog?

Did you know that dogs eat their own vomit?

Hmm. Well, I'd never really thought about it.

Well, I have, and it's gross.

So, no pets at all?

I have three fish - Lex, Sammy and I just got Jess.

Oh, fish are very cool.

Yeah, I love them.

There's no mess whatsoever, hardly any toys, no posters on the wall.

There's no food or drink scraps anywhere.

Did you find out anything?

Nothing that helps.

Cate's come up with nothing at the house, too.

Extraordinary.

Sean? There's nothing here. Marie was spot on.

You could perform open-heart surgery in here and not risk infection.

Okay. Well, look, you'd better get back here.

Hang on.

Can you get salmonella from a fish tank?

We've done FBC, UEC, LFT...

TFT.

Did you know he was a real professor?

And I was a pole dancer.

Very funny, Von.

So that's a positive? Rightio. Thanks.

CATE: What did he say?

According to Infection Control,

90% of reptiles shed salmonella in their faeces.

That's fairly gross.

What about fish?

Not an entirely uncommon source of the bacteria.

Okay, but the tank was as clean as everything else in the house.

Yeah, not relevant. The salmonella bacteria is in the water.

Oh, well, who thinks to wash their hands every time they feed Nemo?

(chuckles) Mmm.

I'll have the tank water tested, but I'd say they're our culprits.

We'd better let Mum know.

Are you going to snitch on the fish? You can't do that.

Ashley's mum will give them the royal flush.

Erica, we have to let her know.

Ashley'd be devastated.

They're her only contact with other living beings besides her mother.

You can't take that away from her.

Who's gonna tell her?

And in bed six, we have a Mr Neville.

He has a suspected fracture of the talus with further X-rays pending.

Should he be taking up a bed? Well, Dr Beaumont thinks so.

I can get Dr Beaumont for you if you'd like.

No. Our next patient is?

Ah, Mrs Atwell.

She'll be transferred to Post-op

after her appendicectomy this afternoon.

This is what happens when there's no-one running the floor.

You need to get onto surgical and the bed manager

and get some of these patients moving.

This is the lovely Ashley.

She presented with severe diarrhoea, vomiting, dehydration.

She was diagnosed with salmonella.

We still don't know why. Are you a specialist?

Hospital admin. Sorry.

ALISON: Now, what are you doing?

I'm specialling this patient for Dr Campion.

This is the Professor.

He came in with severe stomach cramps, nausea...

That was last time, Dan.

This time it's muscle twitching, mental confusion

and an unpleasant rash,

which the young doctor here astutely brought to our attention.

Tell me, why is this man taking up a bed?

I think we could be looking at CCF.

That's congested cardiac failure. I know.

Unfortunately, the Professor's not up on his family's medical history,

but he's presented with breathlessness,

swelling of the feet and ankles.

(coughs)

Oh, for...

What was she doing?

She said that she's gonna keep an eye on the ED budget if you won't.

What's making you think CCF?

The Professor asked for a bigger pair of shoes.

Your specialty is footwear?

No, he has oedema in his feet and ankles,

he was breathless after his shower,

chest osculation failed to produce the sound of a drum filled with air.

And the textbook says... I know what the textbook says.

What about his dizziness and muscle spasms?

That's something else, I think. Like what?

I dunno. Bloods just came back.

Most are consistent with CCF, except for depressed plasma cholinsterase.

But I'm not sure what that means.

Frank, your young colleague here seems to be on the ball.

Mmm, so, we've got occasional bouts of nausea,

cough and shortness of breath, eh?

Right.

Could be related to anxiety. The Professor hasn't been sleeping well.

Tell me about this incontinence, Professor.

Ah, it started a day or two ago. It isn't much fun, I can tell you.

Have we tested his urine for bloods and proteins?

Results aren't back yet.

Chase them up. See if you can find the Prof's old clothes.

Why? Because I said so.

What's going on, Frank?

I don't know, my old friend.

How would you like a room all to yourself?

Unfortunately, it's just not common knowledge

that fish tanks are a breeding ground for salmonella.

I just can't believe it.

Look, I had no idea either.

I did everything I could to keep her safe.

We know that.

I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It won't happen again, I promise.

It's okay, Mum, it's not your fault. It's mine.

Hey, no, no, no. It's nobody's fault.

Mrs Booth, neither you or Ashley were to know.

I'll get rid of them.

No, Mum, please.

Look, the fish needn't be a problem.

All Ashley has to do is clean her hands after she's fed them

and after she's cleaned the tank.

Mum, please let me keep my fish.

I'm sorry, sweetheart, I can't.

Mrs Booth? I'd like to admit Ashley to the children's ward overnight.

Oh, God.

It's okay. Would you like to stay with her? 'Cause you can.

Okay.

Mum, please let me keep my fish.

Ashley, I don't know.

It really won't be a problem, Marie.

Why don't we get Ashley sorted out first,

and then tomorrow you and I can talk about the fish.

(coughs)

C'mon. You gotta be in there somewhere.

You can have half my sandwich if you're that hungry.

I remember how badly interns are paid.

I'm tracking down something for Dr Campion.

Could be relevant to a case.

Is that what he said?

Well, I'm glad to see interns are no less gullible

than they were in the old days.

I think the word's eureka.

Professor's history.

Good to have history.

Like being someone.

So, apart from some tachy cardio when he had the flu

his symptoms have always been put down to his lifestyle.

I'm circumspect in my habits. Always watch what I eat.

That may well be,

but there's a good chance that if it came out of a bin

it's not gonna be good for you.

There's no, ah, no mention of memory lapses in these notes.

He's always been vague about his symptoms. You know that.

Found 'em.

Oh, they smell funny.

Of course they smell funny, you goose.

No, I mean like apart from the obvious,

like flyspray or something.

Put 'em back in the bag. Put 'em back in the bag.

Come on!

Bloody hell.

Give the bag to me.

Right, now get some clean scrubs,

go down to the staff bathroom and get undressed.

What?

You just shoved your face in a bag of toxic waste.

Can you supervise a decontamination wash?

Oh, come on. Give the kid a break.

You know, I don't think he wants me there when he undresses.

Yes, but I do.

Well, I have been working with him as well.

I'll have to have my own decontamination.

Alright, fine. Take those to the lab. Get me a scrubbing brush.

Come with me, you goose.

Every nook and cranny, Homer.

Look, I can manage here, honestly.

So, if you've got somewhere else to be.

A decontamination wash is not the same as a quick splash

before you have dinner with your mum.

Still, I'd rather take my chances

without having you sitting there smiling

which I know you're doing now.

Hey, listen, mate, my reputation is on the line

if you start showing symptoms of chemical exposure.

Dr Campion.

Yes, my boy.

What made you suspect organophosphate poisoning?

Depressed plasma cholinsterase along with all his minor symptoms.

Could've said something.

If I'd known you'd shove your head in a bag of his old clothes,

I probably would've.

So, I was wrong about the CCF?

No, you were right about that.

The Professor neglected to tell us about those symptoms earlier.

But we dug up an old file of his from two years ago.

He was diagnosed and medicated then.

Yeah, he was obviously non-compliant.

Obviously.

Listen, he didn't tell you where he was living, did he?

Ah, yeah, at the uni, he said. Care of the Dean.

Can I have a towel please?

In a previous incarnation, he was a storeman called Craig Watts -

that is, before the booze got to him.

Really? Great. Chalk up another moron point for me then.

Oh, come on.

There's nothing wrong with showing respect for a patient.

Some say that's a good quality in a doctor.

Certainly one that I'd be looking for in someone I was going to mentor.

Did you say you'd mentor me? I did indeed, Bart.

Got my name right, too.

Don't make too much of it, sunshine.

(Dan whistles)

I have to get on the bus dressed like this.

That is a seriously good look for you, Bart.

Just tell them that you're a surgeon and get a reference off Jack.

He's in with his new boss.

Oh, Dan. Don't pick on him, he had a rough day.

Yes, so much for my brilliant career.

Pull rank on the head of surgery

and have to follow him around like a lap-dog all day.

I can beat that.

I didn't detect a patient was missing a toe, then I poisoned myself.

CHARLOTTE: What?

Don't worry about it.

Well, that wasn't a complete waste.

I did manage to get myself a mentor. Way to go, Bart.

Oh, Bart.

It seems the Professor's been living

amongst some heavy duty plastic drums behind the science block.

Formerly used to store chemicals, right?

FRANK: I'd say so.

Sounds like my cue to leave. Stay there!

You too, Pocahontas!

Why hasn't Administration got your applications for the NUM's position.

Oh, it's because we don't want it.

What about McMasters?

What about McMasters?

Looking for a new Nursing Unit Manager.

Forget it.

Oh, someone at least put their hand up for the acting position.

Please!

Oh, God, I'll do it.

Thank you, Dan.

You're a scholar and a gentleman.

I'll probably really suck at it, but what the hell.

I can shuffle some papers for a couple of weeks.

It will only be for a couple weeks, won't it?

That was really brave. I'd say really dumb.

What's wrong with you?

Jack and I were comparing how bad our day's been.

His boss is still giving him grief.

Yeah, well, they reattached the toe, so I win.

Toe? What toe?

See you tomorrow, Dr Campion.

Bloody Vlasek!

Jack, do you know what that was all about?

No, really don't want to, either.

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS ON HEADPHONES

Vlasek.

What can I do for you, Frank? Let's get this straight.

I haven't got time for games

and I am fed up to the back-teeth with people here

using their position to get what they want.

If you have a problem with me or my staff

have the decency to say it to my face.

That it?

No, it's not. What are you doing to Jack Quade.

Apparently nothing.

Well, he's been walking around like a condemned man all day,

and you're responsible for that.

So whatever you're doing... Just a minute.

Frank, I'm head of surgery, right?

So that makes me Jack's boss, not you.

So, whatever plans I may or may not have for him

are really none of your business.

It's because he woke you up in the middle of the night?

Still none of your business.

I'm happy we're getting all this off our chests, but here's the thing -

if I tell Jack to stick a feather up his arse

and run naked through the grounds

then, as head of surgery, that is my right.

Chill out, Frank.

Life's too short.

Oh, for goodness sake.

Do I have to padlock the door to keep you out?

I was leaving you a note to call. Please, go away.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

And I thought you should hear it from me

before it became it official.

I put in for long-service leave.

I thought I'd go overseas for a few months.

Well, there's hope for you yet.

And I'm taking Kathleen with me.

What?

It'll do her the world of good to have a change of environment.

And I'm sure Eve won't mind having you all to herself for a while.