Original subtitles

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

First of all, I want to make it clear

that we always appreciate constructive criticism.

Any expression of your feeling is always welcome.

We have a very warm feeling toward our viewers.

We know they are intelligent, discerning and warm-hearted.

Present company excepted, of course.

Yes?

I have an announcement to make.

Touché.

Is Dr. Finchley in the audience?

He is wanted at home.

And, if it's not too inconvenient,

perhaps he could stop here on his way out.

As for our knife-throwing friend,

here is something better to throw at.

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Do we have to have that caterwauling every single day?

What?

Turn it off--you can hear me!

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What'd you say, Uncle Bill?

I see you got that crazy ad in the paper again.

You don't give me any choice.

I can't run this house with one boarder.

You could if you'd leave the hooch alone.

You mean, if you'd loosen up a little, I'd have enough.

You'll get it soon enough, don't worry.

There ain't nobody else I can leave it to.

That's not why I took you in, and you know it.

You're the only family I have.

And I'm the only boarder you'll ever have, too.

You turn them away as fast as they come.

I'm particular, that's all.

I won't take just anyone in here.

It has to be a woman of quality and breeding.

Smell her breath.

That's the way you'll tell.

I have other ways of judging.

Yes?

My name is Mrs. Fenimore.

I believe you advertised a room to rent.

Yes.

Won't you come in?

Thank you.

I'm Mrs. Herman.

How do you do?

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

It's a very pleasant room.

Sunny and quiet.

That is important.

I've passed the stage where noise is a stimulant.

It should work out very well, then.

I have only one other boarder, my uncle.

But he's a very old man,

and he spends most of his time in his own room.

May I inquire as to the rent?

$10 a week.

I see.

But for the right person, I might come down a little.

Oh, then you have certain ideas as to whom you want here?

Very definite ideas, Mrs. Fenimore.

I am an actress.

I see nothing wrong with that.

The company I was appearing with

folded here in the city.

I've decided to take a rest before making up my mind

whether to continue with my career.

I'm being very frank with you, Mrs. Herman.

I want you to be.

I am a widow with a small monthly pension,

so there'll be no question about the rent.

Oh, I'm sure that could be worked out.

Would it be convenient to see the room now?

Oh, yes, yes.

Of course.

Right this way.

This is my uncle's room.

It's the only other one on this floor.

Where'd you hide my paper?

You old crow.

-Now what's the trouble? -My newspaper.

I left it right there in that chair.

Well, look around.

Here.

It'd be too bad if you had to buy another one.

That's right, spend my money for me.

You haven't got it yet.

I may get it sooner than you think.

What's that?

If you're gonna get all worked up over nothing,

you'll have a stroke one of these days.

So, that's what you're trying to do.

That's your scheme, huh?

Well, it won't work.

Oh, be quiet.

You know I'm showing the room to someone.

What do you waste your time for?

You got no intentions of renting that room to--

When I find the right person--

I like the room, Mrs. Herman.

Well, I'm glad.

This is Mr. Finley, Mrs. Fenimore.

Your uncle?

Yes.

But he's a solitary old man.

You'll seldom see him.

Oh, then you'll consider taking me?

May I offer you a little refreshment?

Thank you.

Unless you have scruples?

Scruples, my dear?

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Butterscotch pudding.

I hope that meets with the approval of everyone.

Oh, it looks wonderful.

Oh, Mr. Finley, will you take this one?

I'm sure you understand, Mrs. Herman,

I'm used to deferring to the man of the house.

Quite proper.

I can see that between us, we're going to spoil you, Uncle Bill.

Mm, it's delicious.

It won't poison you.

(slurping)

Oh, don't mind me.

I love to see a man enjoy his meal.

I'll drink it on the porch.

Well, you've quite charmed Uncle Bill.

Well, I try to be friendly.

I hope you don't mind.

On the contrary, it's a relief to see him acting halfway human.

Usually, he's so crotchety and suspicious.

Suspicious, why?

You wouldn't think it to look at him,

but he's quite a wealthy man.

Really?

Yes, he owns a great deal of real estate in this town,

plus whatever bonds and things he keeps in his room.

No doubt he suspects everyone of having designs on his money.

It's a regular mania.

He keeps the door of his room locked every second.

Well, I suppose he's afraid of burglars.

No burglar could ever get into that room!

I haven't set foot in it since he moved in.

Heaven knows what kind of a mess it's in.

Old men do get set in their ways.

I'm not getting any younger myself.

I can't do the work that I used to.

And Uncle Bill is so tight with his money, it's hard.

Is there no one else to take him in?

No.

I'm his only relative.

Well, at least you have something to look forward to.

No doubt you'll be quite well fixed after he's gone.

I expect so.

Oh, I do hope that didn't sound too heartless.

But I feel that one should be practical about these things,

don't you?

Yes.

I certainly do, Mrs. Fenimore.

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Doesn't your uncle indulge?

He'd be afraid it was poisoned.

(laughing)

You can see that it isn't easy, taking care of Uncle Bill.

Well, don't worry.

Some day it will all seem worthwhile.

How old is your uncle?

Seventy-two.

But age means nothing in his family.

They live forever.

His father was 97 when he died.

No one can say that he hasn't lived a full life.

And now you feel it's your turn?

Yes.

We're adult, sensible people, Mrs. Fenimore.

I mean, we're responsible and intelligent and--

And we can talk freely.

Exactly.

You've been here two weeks now.

What is it you want me to do, Mrs. Herman?

(snoring)

I want you to know that I've always been an honest

and respectable person.

Nobody can say that I ever committed

a wrong act in my life.

That's a claim few people can make.

Now, I think I'm entitled to something

after a lifetime of devotion.

But for some reason, you feel you can't do it alone.

Exactly.

You do understand, don't you?

Well, I can see that he doesn't trust you.

That's right.

But I think you could win his confidence.

It shouldn't be too difficult.

It may be harder than you think.

You'll have to get him to invite you into his room.

Oh.

I'm beginning to see why you need help.

I've waited a long time for the right person.

It had to be someone with exactly the right qualities.

Appearance, personality, a nice voice--

And not too many scruples?

What I want to do is completely justifiable

under the circumstances.

He's an old man, and he's outlived his usefulness.

What has he to look forward to but the lingering agony

of a helpless old age?

I've planned it so there'll be no pain whatever.

And how is this act of mercy to be done?

Oh, you needn't concern yourself with that.

I'll handle everything when the time comes.

All you have to do is to get into his room.

And what do I stand to gain?

$2500.

Dear, could I have a little more of this sherry?

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You're a stickler for rules.

(laughing)

There.

Oh, you're very good, you really are.

There we go!

It sounds like you're having fun.

I haven't played crokinole for I don't know how long.

Well, three can play, you know.

Play if you like.

I've had enough.

You want to go for a walk?

Why, yes, I'd love to.

I'll get my coat.

You know, if he were a bit younger,

I might be able to make better progress.

His wife used to read him to sleep like a baby every night.

She had the loveliest voice.

Yours is the nearest to it I've heard.

My stage training, you know.

Are you coming?

Yes, I am.

"True love's the gift which God has given

to man alone beneath the heavens.

It is not fantasy's hot fire,

whose wishes, soon as granted, fly.

It liveth not in fierce desire.

With dead desire it doth not die."

That's true.

I know just what he means.

She isn't finished.

"It is the secret sympathy, the silent tie,

which heart to heart and mind to mind,

in body and in soul can bind."

That's real poetry.

Who wrote it?

It's the Lay of the Last Minstrel by Sir Walter Scott.

Why don't you go to bed?

It's too early.

You do have a lovely reading voice, Mrs. Fenimore.

Doesn't she, Uncle Bill?

When she gets a chance to use it.

Shall I read on?

Oh, yes, please do.

I love to listen to you.

Enjoy yourself, then.

I'm going to bed.

I really don't see--

You will.

Tomorrow night, he'll ask you to read to him in his room.

Yes?

After he falls asleep, go to your own room.

But leave his door unlocked.

And then?

He has a small two-burner gas plate in his room

to boil water for his tea.

If it should happen to boil over and put out the flame...

I read about somebody who asphyxiated himself that way.

His door was locked, so there was no question,

but it was an accident.

And the matter of my fee?

Just as soon as the will is read.

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One and two, one and two,

one and two, one and two.

That's it, slide a little bit.

Not so stiff.

Blast it, I am stiff!

No, you're not, you're just out of practice.

It'll all come back to you.

This ain't the way I used to dance.

It's the very latest thing.

Now, come on, let's try it again.

One and two, one and two,

one and two, one and two.

(shattering)

That does it!

I ain't getting on no dance floor and make a fool of myself.

What in heaven's name--

Oh, mind your own business!

Uncle Bill wanted to brush up on his dancing.

There's no fool like an old fool.

And that suit, you haven't worn that for seven years.

What's that to you?

Whatever possessed you--?

I'm going out, that's why!

Where?

Why?

We're going to a matinee.

And then to dinner afterwards.

After that, we're going dancing someplace.

Let's go.

Can't have no privacy around her.

It was his idea.

But this will ruin everything.

Don't worry, I think I know how to handle this.

Well?

Don't expect a word from me

until I've had coffee.

There, that's better.

Well, my dear, I don't think Uncle Bill

will try that little scheme again.

What time did you get back last night?

Late enough for him to appreciate the quiet life.

The old fool can't get out of bed this morning.

And just to be on the safe side,

I saw to it that he spent a lot of money.

I think he'll be content to stay home now and be read to.

I can see that I made no mistake in confiding in you.

I try to do my share, dear.

Too bad a man can't have a little peace

and quiet around here when he's trying to sleep.

It's after 11 o'clock, if you will keep those late hours--

Nobody asked your advice.

All right, Uncle Bill, all right.

I know you had a wonderful time.

Well, I didn't, if you want to know.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wasn't your fault.

It's the prices those robbers charge.

Every time you turn around, somebody's got his hand out.

Oh, it's terrible.

Tonight we'll stay home, and I'll read to you.

How does that sound?

At least it ain't gonna cost me any money.

(slurping)

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(footsteps down the stairs)

Do we have to listen to that thing all evening?

I can turn it off

if you'd rather Mrs. Fenimore read to you.

Who's going to turn you off?

Shall I read?

Not here.

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If you came up to my room,

we wouldn't have so many interruptions.

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"Loveliest and best, thou little knowest the ranks.

The honors thou hast lost.

Oh, might I live to see thee grace in Scotland's court.

Thy birthright place."

Finished reading already?

Yes.

He fell asleep.

He was quite exhausted.

You do have a lovely, soothing voice.

Thank you.

Well, I think I'll go to bed now.

Yes.

Good night.

Good night, Mrs. Fenimore.

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(sobbing)

A very unfortunate accident.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Herman.

I warned him so many times to be careful.

Oh, it's happened before this?

Twice.

The other times I smelled the gas escaping,

pounded on his door until he woke up.

Did he always keep his door locked?

Always.

He was rather eccentric, almost a hermit.

Yes, I see.

You didn't notice the gas last night?

No.

I sleep downstairs now

since I took in a boarder.

Oh, yes, Mrs.--

Mrs. Fenimore, Officer.

You didn't smell it, either?

No, unfortunately.

I'm a very deep sleeper,

and I always sleep with my windows open.

Well, it's just one of those regrettable accidents.

Certainly no fault of either of you ladies.

I know that's not much consolation--

Thank you for your cooperation.

Good day, ladies.

Well, that's over.

Yes, I thought it came out very well.

It was no spur of the moment plan.

I've worked on the idea for two years.

Would you like a small glass of sherry?

I think not.

I'd like to start packing.

There's really no need for you to go.

I think it's better.

Compunctions?

Hardly that.

Are you planning on returning to the stage?

No.

Not unless something very good came along.

Good parts are hard to find, you know.

Well, if you have no place to go--

I was thinking of traveling.

Abroad, that is.

On $2500?

That won't last long that way.

Well, I suppose I might as well tell you now.

You'll find out soon enough.

I can't imagine what.

I persuaded Uncle Bill to keep it a secret a while.

We got married.

But don't worry, dear.

I'll send you the $2500

just as soon as the will is read.

A deal is a deal.

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Here is further evidence that crime does not pay,

for the law caught up with Mrs. Herman and Mrs. Fenimore

shortly after they had spent the inheritance.

They are now living on government expense.

The subject of money brings us

quite naturally to the following,

at the conclusion of which, I shall rejoin you.

By the way, that last commercial was one which was sent to Russia

as part of a cultural exchange.

I don't know what we received in return,

we're afraid to open it.

Now, until next week,

when we shall return with another story.

Good night.

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