Original subtitles

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

A simple incident can change one's life

with dazzling swiftness.

In a single day, my pet caught a glimpse

of his pedigree and my family tree.

Now, he won't sleep anywhere but in the house.

He's rather large, as you can see.

I shudder to think what he'll be like when he grows up.

Tonight's narrative is called "Design For Loving."

And, as the title suggests,

it concerns marriage and its problems.

But before our play,

here is a message from a gentleman

who has designs on your purse.

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(clanging)

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(clanging continues)

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(telephone ringing)

Hello.

Hello, Anne.

May I speak to Tom, please?

No, Charlie, you absolutely cannot.

This is my sweet, darling, lovely Tom's

night to stay home and be spoiled by me.

And if he went out with you,

he wouldn't get home until after midnight.

All right, Anne, all right.

Lydia, why don't we talk, eh?

What about?

Oh, politics, maybe.

The world.

Us, you and me.

There is a subject.

Lydia, why don't we travel?

There's nothing keeping us here.

No children to hold us down.

That's right, Charles, there's no children.

We could see London, Paris...

Rio.

And what will we do in Paris, Charles?

Lydia...

Let's make a clean break.

Start over, have fun!

Charlie.

You held my hands.

You haven't done that in years.

I remember once you kissed my hand.

That was silly, but it was so nice.

Kiss my hand, Charlie,

and I'll go to Paris with you,

London with you, Rio with you!

Kiss my hand.

-Oh, really-- -I'm not joking.

It's the last chance for Rio.

It's the last chance for Paris.

Why does everything always have to be so difficult?

You make it difficult.

(telephone ringing)

-Hello? -Hello, Tom.

Thank goodness it's you this time.

Oh, hello!

Yes!

Tom, this is Charlie.

Oh, Fred, how are you?

Tom, I've got to see you.

Well, you sound as though it's a matter of life and death.

It is.

I'll be by to pick you up.

*

Once around the block.

Be back in ten minutes, please.

Ten minutes--no, sooner!

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I gave her a chance.

I gave her a chance.

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I don't want to do this to you, Lydia.

I don't.

I don't.

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(whistling)

Charlie, we drank too much.

Hey, it's 10:00.

We've been out two hours longer than we planned.

Two whole hours!

Ah, it's all right.

Your wife doesn't want you to go out

because she loves you, mine because she hates me.

Funny, isn't it?

Hey, Tom, come here.

What?

Tom, I wanna show you something.

Look.

A ticket for Rio de Janeiro on a Saturday plane.

Ticket?

One ticket?

For myself alone.

And leave Lydia here?

How?

How indeed!

I'm smart.

You're drunk.

Come on, Charlie, let's go home.

-Let's go home. -I am home.

That's part of my plan.

What?

I am sitting in my house right now.

Charlie, you are standing on the street,

talking with old Tom Smith.

Fifty bucks says I'm sitting with Lydia right now.

Charlie, you dead?

Is that it, this your ghost talking with me?

Fifty bucks.

Fifty bucks?

All right, fifty bucks.

(laughing)

Easiest 50 bucks I ever made.

(laughing)

Oh, oh, wait a minute, Charlie.

Who's gonna hold the money?

He will.

Don't go away now.

Let me get this straight, Charlie.

$50 says that you are in there right now,

with your wife.

-Right? -Right.

Okay, here goes.

Don't move now.

Promise.

Won't budge an inch?

Not a hair!

I got my eye on you, Charlie.

*

(crickets chirping)

Charlie!

It's you!

You're a twin.

That's it, you're a twin!

No, Tom.

Then, who--what?

"What" is more correct.

I'm drunk!

Not that drunk, Tom.

-What's that? -A whistle.

What's it for?

Watch the front door.

(high-pitched whistling)

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Hello, Mr. Brailing.

Hello, Brailing.

This is insane!

He's not your brother?

Not my brother.

I haven't drunk too much?

You haven't.

Then, what?

Tom, you're looking at my passport to freedom.

My release, my escape.

Now I can do what I want, when I want, where I want.

Stay out as long as I like,

come home when I'm good and ready.

I've solved everything, as I've told you.

You've told me nothing.

Put your head close to him.

Closer.

To his chest, his chest!

What do you hear?

(motor ticking)

Listen.

Listen.

(ticking)

*

(ticking)

It's a robot.

Marionette, if you please.

Marionette?

"Marionettes Incorporated.

We duplicate yourself or your friends.

New humanoid plastic flesh.

1965 models,

guaranteed against all weathers.

Priced from $5,000

to our $15,000 Deluxe Model."

No.

Yes, I tell you.

How long has this been going on?

Well, Marionettes Inc.

has been in existence three years.

I've had him for about a month now.

I keep him in a tool box in the cellar.

My wife never goes down there,

and I've got the only key to the box.

This is the first night I've given him a real testing.

Other nights, I just let him sit with my wife

for a few moments at a time.

But, tonight...

A three-hour test!

You're doing splendidly, Brailing.

Thank you, Mr. Brailing.

Your wife is rather nice.

It's not hard work.

Amazing!

I can't tell you apart!

Nor can I.

Nor can my wife.

Do you see what a delicious thing--

Or am I being unethical?

-Well... -After all, Tom,

what is it my wife wants?

Me!

Me to keep home, pen up...frustrate.

All right, I'll give her me.

I'll stay home every night for the next 20 years.

Only, it won't be me, it'll be him.

I'll be off to Rio.

May I suggest, Mr. Brailing, that I go back inside now?

Your wife may come out.

Oh, yes, you go on in,

and I'll call you when I want you.

Very well, sir.

-Good night, sir. -Good night, Charlie.

I mean--

Good night, Charlie.

Well, I better get home.

-You know Anne. -I know Anne.

Oh, she means well.

-She loves me. -She loves you.

But, Charlie, after ten years of marriage,

you do not expect your wife to sit on your lap

for two hours every evening,

or to call you up at work ten times a day,

or to talk baby talk when you come home.

I'm smothered, Charlie, smothered!

I need a rest.

Marionettes are made to eat, sleep, walk, run.

Everything natural as natural can be.

"Marionettes Inc.

33 Elm Terrace."

Oh, Charlie, you are a friend!

I'll be there at 8:00 tomorrow morning.

Good night!

They don't open till 9:00.

(whistling)

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Oh, I should tear up that card right now.

Wake her up, beg her forgiveness,

take her in my arms.

*

Ah, let's see.

The savings account.

Last month, the balance was $9,000.

Now, if I was to borrow

five or six thousand...

Yeah, but how do I explain the missing money to Anne?

Well...

I'll think of that later.

The important thing now...

...is to buy a marionette tomorrow!

*

Ah, let's see.

Deposits, deposits.

Ah, $1,000, May 1st.

$2,000 deposited July 15th,

making a total of--

Hey.

There's $5,000 missing!

$5,000 withdrawn August 10th.

Well, that's last week.

*

Anne!

Anne, wake up!

Anne, do you hear me?

Anne, wake up!

Our money!

Five thousand--

(ticking)

*

Checkmate.

You win, brilliant!

Am I?

That's the first time I've won a game in years.

How about another drink?

Oh, well, I shouldn't, I--

Just one, to wash out the eyes.

All right.

-Charlie. -Yes?

Tonight...

It's hard to explain, but, I don't know.

You and me.

We're, well--

You're--

(whistling)

Excuse me a moment.

Yes, of course, dear.

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Well done, Brailing.

Did you think so?

Perhaps a little too well done.

Too nice, too kind.

She might notice the change.

I'll watch it.

I tend to forget myself.

I'm rather fond of her.

Good, good.

I want a happy employee.

I want you to enjoy your work.

I wouldn't call it "work".

Yeah, well.

Well, I'll watch you for the next few nights,

make sure you play the part perfectly.

Then I'll leave for Rio on Saturday,

and you take over for a month.

Now, back in the toolbox with you.

Now, in with you.

That's something I'd like to discuss with you.

What?

I don't like it.

You don't like it?

It's too damp in there.

Cramped.

Oh.

Well, I'll look for something more comfortable.

A closet?

I don't like closets.

Say, what's going on here?

They didn't tell me at Marionettes Inc.

that I was getting such a difficult specimen.

There's a lot they don't know about us yet.

We marionettes are far more sensitive than you think.

I've a good mind to send you back to the factory

for re-adjustment.

Do you?

-Do you? -I do.

Now, get back in the box.

Now, lie down and behave.

I've been thinking.

You can't think.

All right, processing data then.

Rio de Janeiro is a better climate than this, isn't it?

I mean, much less rain and cold.

It's fine.

And you're going there?

I am, if you ever shut up.

I'll never get to Rio, do you know that?

That's really too bad.

Now get in.

And your wife, as I was saying, she's nice.

I'll give you till I count five.

I like her very much.

She's a fine woman.

Fine, and Rio.

-Rio's fine. -Fine.

Excuse me, will you, I'm--

-Use the phone? -What?

Call Marionettes Inc?

No, no, no.

No, nothing like that.

My wrist, you're breaking it!

-Let go! -Rio.

-Better weather. -What are you gonna do?

I'm going to buy another ticket for Rio

and take your wife.

My wife put you up to this?

No.

She knows about you, doesn't she?

She's charming.

She planned this!

She did, she did!

You'll never know, will you?

Goodbye!

What do you mean, goodbye?

Let me out of here!

Help!

*

You'll regret this!

Let me out of here!

*

(doorbell buzzing)

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(doorbell buzzing)

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(doorbell buzzing)

*

Charlie!

You're here!

I'm here, Tom.

My wife.

She's gone.

She left a marionette in her place.

I thought she'd run away with you, but--

You're here, Charlie.

You are here, aren't you?

I'm here, Tom.

Then Anne is somewhere out in the city tonight

with someone else.

I don't understand.

She said she loved me.

Tom, these are strange times

in which strange machines

with even stranger functions

are moving into our lives

and taking over.

But I must go now, my wife is waiting.

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(clanging)

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You kissed my hand.

You kissed my hand!

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To us, Lydia.

To us, Charlie.

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That story is a somewhat disturbing one,

but only to people.

Our next story is also disturbing,

and that is why I think I shall take this opportunity

to walk my dog.

I shall be back.

I hope.

Fortunately for me,

he slipped his collar

and disappeared in a herd of Percheron.

This concludes our show.

Next week, we shall be back with another.

But before I go, there's something

I would like you to consider.

You keep me in this box all week,

and then allow me to peer out

for only half an hour before closing me up again.

I don't like it.

You see, I keep running.

There's no way to shut me off.

After all, I have feelings, too.

Think it over.

Good night.

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