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**
Good evening, and thank you
for peeping in at me tonight.
I shall try to make it worth your while.
Now, if you will look through the keyhole with your other eye....
Excellent. Thank you.
Incidentally, those of you...
who think these letters don't spell anything couldn't be more incorrect.
The last line was copied from an old insurance policy.
Now that we are all in focus...
I should like to make a few preparatory remarks about tonight's librette.
It is called The Creeper...
and is about a person who had a very peculiar way...
of striking up an acquaintance with women:
He killed them.
A distinctly antisocial tendency...
for it never leads to any lasting friendship.
[metallic rattling]
[children chattering]
Hot, ain't it? The worst we've had yet.
You're the new janitor, aren't you? At your service, Mrs. Stone.
Anytime you want anything done...
you just yell for old George, and he'll take care of it.
[chuckling]
"Satisfaction guaranteed." That's my motto. That'll last about a week.
Then you'll be just like all the others.
[groans]
Terrible thing, ain't it? Them poor women.
They probably asked for it.
Decent women don't get themselves murdered.
[window rattling]
Hello. Hello, Mrs. Grant.
Feeling better? Yes, a lot, thanks.
I think it's the heat as much as anything. Terrible, isn't it?
After a week of this, it's a wonder we're not all sick.
Paper says there's going to be a storm tonight. That'll break it up a little.
Aren't you the new janitor? At your service, ma'am.
I wonder if you'd do me a favor.
[George grunts]
I've been trying for two days to get somebody...
to come from the hardware store...
and put a bolt and chain on the inside of the door.
They've all been pretty busy.
A lot of nervous women in this neighborhood...
got the same idea at the same time.
But don't you worry, Mrs. Grant.
If anyone bothers you, you just yell for old George, and he'll take care of them.
[chuckles]
[children yelling]
I don't like him. He smiles too much.
Your husband gone to work? Not yet.
Why? No reason, but...
I should think you'd be afraid to stay alone...
so much of the night the way you do.
Both of those other women's husbands were on night shifts, too.
Thanks a lot. You're a big help.
I'll come by and see you later, keep you company.
[sighing]
Window doesn't help much, does it?
It doesn't help these eggs, that's for sure.
Now, what's the matter with the eggs?
They're just no good, that's all.
Well, they're no different than they are every day.
You can say that again.
Why you can't do a simple thing...
like scramble a couple of eggs, I'll never know.
All right, Steve, all right.
It's hot, and we're both on edge. Now, let's drop it, huh?
Speak for yourself. Just because you...
and a lot of other crazy dames in this neighborhood...
think they're gonna be murdered...
doesn't mean I'm crazy, too, Ellen.
What's so crazy about it? It could happen, you know.
This isn't just one of those things you read in the newspaper.
Both those women lived about five blocks from here.
So keep the door locked. A kid could open that lock.
That's why I want a bolt and chain put on it.
All right, get one. Get two if it'll make you feel better.
Boy. You're in a great mood today.
I'm all right. Just leave me alone.
I didn't saying anything.
Oh Ellen, didn't you pick up my other pair of work shoes?
I forgot. You forgot.
What do you want me to do, work in my bare feet?
Will you please pick them up? You haven't got anything else to do.
Now, you cut that out, Steve.
It isn't my fault that you didn't get the raise, you know.
You just stop picking on me.
Hell, nobody's picking on you. You are!
You have been. You've been snapping at me ever since you got up.
I've been wanting to ask you to do something for me...
and I'm afraid to mention it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
What do you want from me, Ellen?
Ask them to put you on the day shift.
Please, Steve. Please, just for a couple of weeks...
until the police catch this guy.
Are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding! I'm scared!
Every time you go out and I'm alone here...
I jump at every sound I hear in the hall.
What would you like for me to do? Sit and hold your hand?
Forget it.
Just finish your supper and forget it. "Finish your supper."
Who's got an appetite with you sitting here yakking?
I'm going to work. And please get the shoes.
Goodbye, Ellen.
Goodbye.
[door closing]
Hello, Mr. Gibbons? This is Ellen Grant again.
Well, yes, I know you're busy...
but if you can't come yourself...
do you think you could possibly send somebody...
who could put a chain on that door?
Would you? I'd appreciate it.
What?
Oh, no, I'm feeling better, thank you.
Just nervous, like everybody else in the neighborhood, I guess.
Yes, thank you. Goodbye.
[exhales]
(Ellen) Who is that?
Who is it? (Martha) It's only me, Mrs. Grant.
What do you want? Nothing. I saw your husband leaving, and...
wondered if you wanted me to come over this evening and stay with you.
Oh, no, thanks. I'll be all right. Thanks.
My Joe's gonna be working overtime, and....
Well, you kind of acted so funny before.
I thought you might be afraid to stay alone, didn't like to say so.
But if you're not nervous about it....
Of course I'm nervous about it.
Isn't everybody? Aren't you?
No.
I have nothing to be nervous about.
You don't get murdered without a reason.
As a matter of fact, some of the papers said...
it might be a woman who killed them.
Some woman who was jealous...
about her husband getting involved with other women.
That's about as silly as all the theories in the newspapers.
I don't know. I can't say I blame her if it's true.
Women like that deserve anything that happens to them.
What's the matter?
Uh, well...
nothing. It's just....
[mumbles]
I have to go out.
I didn't know you were well enough to go out.
Well, it's not far.
Excuse me, please.
Hi, Steve. Hi, Ed.
How's things with you? Pretty good.
*[radio playing]
You off tonight? No, no, just having a beer before I go in.
How about you? Yeah.
Joe?
How's everything in the newspaper racket? Dull.
Unless our friend here knocks off somebody else pretty soon...
he'll be pushed off the front page. You mean The Creeper?
We're running out of things to say about him. Even running out of theories.
Next, he'll be running out of women.
You think that's real funny, don't you?
But Ellen's practically hysterical...
just like every other woman in the neighborhood.
Well, they don't have much excitement.
Have to make the most of something like this.
Brother, what a weird sense of humor you've got!
"Warped" is the word you're looking for.
Used to bother Ellen, too. Well, sure! It'd bother anybody.
You know, Ed, I don't think either one of us are a bargain...
but I think Ellen's better off married to me.
Even if she wouldn't admit it right now.
What's the matter, you had a fight? Yeah.
I got up feeling rough and took it out on her.
This weather. It's hot. It's sticky. What's the matter with it?
I kind of like it. Yeah, you would.
I guess it's not the weather. I was looking for a raise, and I didn't get it.
Took it out on her? Yeah.
Why do we do it, Ed? Why do we take it out on somebody else?
Especially someone you love.
Very simple. Simple?
No one else would put up with it. Yeah, I guess you're right.
Don't worry about it.
Everybody takes out his grudges on somebody else.
Usually the wrong person.
Take our friend here.
He takes it out by killing the woman he's got something against.
[chuckling] I didn't go that far.
You think they'll catch this guy anywheres near soon?
Who knows? Haven't got much to go on.
About the only connection between those two women was...
they were both alone at night, and they were both blonde.
What's the matter? Nothing. I was just thinking.
Ellen's alone, and she's blonde.
What are you staring at me like that for?
Nothing wrong with looking at a pretty woman, is there?
Would you please get me these shoes? Be glad to.
Did you hear the latest about The Creeper?
Police seem to think he's a man who works locally around here.
Could be someone we know. I don't want to hear about it!
Please get the shoes, I'm in a hurry. All right, all right.
I'm sorry, miss, they're not quite ready yet. What's your address?
224....
What do you need that for?
I thought I'd drop them over myself after I close my store.
Oh. Well...
that won't necessary. I'll come back.
It's no trouble at all, miss. No, please, don't bother.
Really, it's no trouble at all. Just don't bother!
[thunder clapping]
*[radio playing]
[thunder rumbling]
[gasping]
[sighing]
(George) It's only me, Mrs. Grant.
George.
There's nothing to be scared about.
Maybe you'll feel better if I give you a little light.
There. I'll leave this door open while I put in a new bulb.
[metallic clinking]
*[radio continues playing]
[thunder clapping]
[moans]
[phone ringing]
[sighing]
Hello?
(Mr. Gibbons) Mrs. Grant...
this is Mr. Gibbons at the hardware store.
Mr. Gibbons? Oh, Mr. Gibbons!
Yes.
I've found a man to put that bolt and chain on for you.
But he won't be able to come over right away.
Oh. Well... That's all right. Whenever he can.
Whenever....
Fine. I'll tell him to make it as soon as possible.
Thank you. Thank you, I'm very grateful.
That's all right. Goodbye, now. Bye.
[gasps]
Hi.
I was waiting for you.
[thunder cracking]
[sighing]
What's the matter with you?
You look like that woman in that story.
Thought she was locking the murderer out...
all the time she was locking him in.
What are you doing here? I came to keep you company.
How did you get in? Trade secret.
Newspaper men get in everywhere. Didn't you know that?
Well, suppose you get yourself out the same way you got in.
Ellen, now, don't do that. I want to talk to you.
We have nothing to talk about. I think we do.
Oh, Ed, please.
I'm nervous, and I'm sick, and I just want to be left alone.
Well, that's not safe.
This is a dangerous neighborhood...
for a woman to be alone in these days.
If you're trying to frighten me, don't bother.
I'm frightened enough already. Of The Creeper?
[exhales]
I don't even know anymore.
Maybe I'm getting sick again. Everything scares me.
That poor little shoemaker looked so strange to me.
You know, I've got a theory.
Maybe The Creeper isn't strange-looking at all.
I'll bet he's mild and pleasant, just like anyone else.
Maybe he even looks just like me.
Ed, I want you to get out of here!
Now, is that a friendly way to talk to an old beau?
I came to protect you, stay until Steve gets home.
I don't want you to stay with me! Steve asked me to.
[rain pattering]
I don't believe you. Well, it's true just the same.
Well?
What can we do to amuse ourselves? A little music wouldn't hurt.
[thunder rumbling]
We might even dance.
We used to dance very well together. Ed, I don't want to dance.
Come on, let's dance. No, let go of me!
I want to dance! Ed, you're hurting me!
*[music playing]
You like to hurt people, don't you?
I remember how frightened I was the first time I realized that.
Is that why you walked out on me? That's one of the reasons.
You never bothered to explain, you just walked out.
I thought you could probably figure it out for yourself.
Yeah? Then you were wrong. I couldn't.
What were the other reasons?
Ed, it was two years ago and-- I want to know!
All right, I'll tell you if you want to know!
There's something wrong with you, Ed.
Wrong.
As a kid, even the games you made up were cruel.
If you knew anything about child psychology...
you'd know that a lot of kids are basically cruel.
Yes, but they grow out of it, and you didn't.
Maybe that's what's wrong. I never did understand it.
I just know that I was afraid of it.
I can remember a time when you weren't.
I was crazy about you, all right.
That's what made it hard.
I knew when I faced it that we'd be finished. Yeah?
That's funny.
There's something I wouldn't face, too. Not for a long time.
As a matter of fact, not until just this afternoon.
I would never admit, even to myself...
that I hated you.
I've had a grudge against you ever since you walked out on me.
As I was saying to your esteemed husband just this afternoon...
sooner or later, you have to take out a grudge.
The Creeper does it by killing.
Did you know that? Ed....
Ed, I'll scream. I swear I will. You will?
[gasping]
Okay. Then go ahead: scream! Scream your head off.
[crying]
[knock on door] Help me, somebody! Help me!
[crying] Help me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm.... Stop it. Stop it!
I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to....
[cutlery crashing]
Ellen, are you all right, honey?
I'm sorry. I've waited so long to do this...
and now I wish I hadn't done it.
I'm sorry, Ellen, I'm sorry. I....
[banging on door]
(George) Mrs. Grant?
Mrs. Grant!
*[radio continues playing]
Yeah?
They're complaining about your radio playing so loud.
(Ed) Okay. We'll turn it down. George, wait.
Okay, Mrs. Grant.
Good night.
Good night!
What was it you wanted, Mrs. Grant?
Wanted....
Oh, yes.
Would you do me a favor? Would you go to the corner...
to the shoemaker and get my husband's shoes, please? He needs them.
Why, sure.
Sure, Mrs. Grant. I'd be glad to.
You, too! Just like all the others.
What do you mean by that? Very innocent, aren't you?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
The minute your husband's back is turned...
out trying to make a living for you.
You don't know what you're talking about. Don't I?
I've got eyes in my head, haven't I?
But I'd watch my step if I were you, milady.
Women like you always get what they deserve in the end.
You're disgusting! To the likes of you, maybe.
But just remember what happened to those other two.
[banging on door]
[sighs]
Who is it?
(George) It's me, Mrs. Grant. George.
I got your husband's shoes.
[mumbles]
Oh, yes, I forgot.
Would you just leave them outside the door, please?
(George) Mrs. Grant, somebody's liable to steal them.
Well, that's all....
Let them.
All right.
[sighing]
[intercom buzzing]
Yes? (man) Mrs. Grant?
Yes.
Mr. Gibbons from the hardware store...
sent me around to put on a new lock.
[sighing] Oh.
I thought you'd never get here!
Well, we're pretty busy, ma'am.
Yes, yes, I know you are. I'm just so grateful that you're here.
Apartment 1A.
[phone ringing]
[phone continues ringing]
Hello?
Hello, honey.
Oh, Steve, I'm so glad to hear your voice.
You all right? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
You sound funny. No. No, I'm all right now.
I don't know what's been the matter with me.
I'm scared out of my wits, imagining things.
Talk about being neurotic. No, honey, you're not neurotic.
You just haven't been feeling well, that's all.
I guess I didn't help things much this afternoon.
I'm sorry. That's all right, honey.
It's this heat. It's enough to drive anybody crazy.
Forgive me? Of course I do.
Is Ed still there?
Ed. Did you send him?
Well, sure, honey, to keep you company. Keep me company, huh?
Well, I finally got rid of him. I wished you hadn't have.
Look, honey, will you be careful?
And promise me you won't let anybody in the apartment till I get home, all right?
All right. Don't worry, I won't.
[knocking on door]
Anyway, it's all right now. The locksmith's here to put the chain on.
Ellen-- Wait a minute, Steve.
Ellen!
Hello, Ellen! (Ellen) Come on in, will you?
(Ellen) I want it put right there.
(man) All right, ma'am.
Excuse me a minute. I'm talking to my husband on the phone.
Ellen! Ellen.... Hello, Steve.
Honey, who did you just let in the apartment?
The locksmith, to put the chain on the door. He finally got here.
A locksmith? Ellen, didn't you hear the radio broadcast?
What are you talking about?
It was just on the radio. The police are looking for a locksmith!
Honey, they think he's the one that killed those women!
Ellen! Ellen!
Ellen, are you there?
Oh, Steve!
Steve!
[screaming]
And so, once again, The Creeper commits...
the most heinous crime a woman can imagine:
He takes the telephone away from her in the middle of a call.
Obviously, this sadistic criminal will stop at nothing.
For the record, The Creeper was subsequently caught...
and is now repairing locks at one of our leading penal institutions.
If you liked our story, please write in.
Perhaps we can give you a sequel to The Creeper, called:
The Toddler.
Good night.
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