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1
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,406
[Alfred Hitchcock themed score]
2
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:29,362
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen...
3
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:32,465
and especially the gentlemen.
4
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,568
All of you have
at one time or another...
5
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,104
speculated on how it would be
to be separated...
6
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:42,375
from your wife
for a week or a weekend.
7
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:47,914
But have you ever thought
of being away from the
little woman for seven years?
8
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:49,916
You have?
9
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:53,420
Well, in that case, you will
be even more interested
in tonight's play...
10
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:57,023
called, Don't Come Back Alive.
11
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,626
It's a homey
little story of intrigue...
12
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:02,862
jealousy, avarice, and fraud.
13
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,433
It will follow
immediately after
this illustrated lecture...
14
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,703
on the virtues
of our sponsor's product.
15
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,970
[clicking]
16
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,740
May we see
the first slide, please?
17
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,159
[birds chirping]
18
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,939
(Mildred)
Frank, is that you?
19
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:49,309
I don't know for sure.
What does Frank look like?
20
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:53,913
Let me see.
He's dark and distinguished,
handsome, lots of personality.
21
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,883
You must be thinking
of Gregory Peck.
No, silly.
22
00:01:56,916 --> 00:02:01,354
If I'd wanted Gregory Peck,
I'd have married him.
23
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,157
Why didn't you
put the car away?
I thought we'd go see him.
24
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,092
Who?
Gregory Peck.
25
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,362
At the drive-in movie, silly.
That would be wonderful.
26
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:13,199
What's this?
I thought it would
be nicer to eat in here.
27
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:18,171
Well, this is nice.
Good dinner, bottle of wine,
movie...
28
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:21,174
just what we need
to celebrate.
29
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:24,544
Frank, you got a job.
Why didn't you
tell me right away?
30
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:26,813
I wanted to surprise you.
31
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:30,417
I am a salesman, madam.
Salary plus commissions.
32
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,319
That's good, isn't it?
33
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,357
No limit to what I can earn.
34
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,460
What's the matter?
35
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,398
I don't get the job
until next month, Mildred.
36
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,635
Frank.
37
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:53,173
Yes, I know we need it now.
Bills, insurance payments,
back rent.
38
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,843
We'll have to struggle
through it somehow.
Mr. Willard called today.
39
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,813
If we don't have
the rent by Monday,
he's going to evict us.
40
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,748
We can't say
we weren't expecting it.
41
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:04,517
That's the trouble if you
don't own your own home.
42
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,854
How many times have I said it?
If we just owned
our own home....
43
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,457
We will someday, darling.
You just watch.
44
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,293
Of course, it won't
be next year. But now
that you'll be working--
45
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,662
I know.
But suppose the bottom
falls out of this job...
46
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,297
the way it did
out of the last one?
47
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:20,600
Frank, that last job
lasted over four years.
48
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,336
Nothing lasts forever.
49
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,372
But you don't understand,
dear.
50
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:31,144
Even if it does last
a few years, say six or seven,
I'd be 60 then.
51
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:35,915
And 60-year-old men just
don't get jobs. That's what
scares me, Mildred.
52
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:40,653
Too old to be employed,
too young for old-age pension.
53
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,156
Eat your salad, dear.
We'll get along,
we always have.
54
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:46,526
Yeah, on what?
On what I'll save
in the next 10 years?
55
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:50,163
There's always our
insurance policies, if we can
keep up the payments on those.
56
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:53,933
Sure, we'd have $200 or $300.
It's not an endowment,
you know.
57
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,403
One of us has to die.
58
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:59,239
And I've been thinking that
it wouldn't be a bad idea.
59
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,608
Frank, don't talk like that.
60
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,511
Now, I know it's discouraging,
but we'll work it out.
61
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,713
I love you.
62
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,683
You're worth a lot more
to me than $25,000,
and you remember it.
63
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:14,621
All right, honey,
I promise not to do myself in.
64
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:18,925
What I really had in mind
was to spike your wine
with a little arsenic.
65
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:21,061
That's an entirely
different matter.
66
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,896
But wouldn't it be safer
if I just fell down a well...
67
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,798
and was never heard of again?
68
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,167
That way you could
report the matter to
the insurance company...
69
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,802
collect the money,
and have a wonderful time.
70
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,504
No one has to die.
71
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,509
No one has to die.
Not actually.
72
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:39,846
If the insurance company
believed that either
of us were dead...
73
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:42,782
we'd get the $25,000.
Don't you see?
74
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,852
If you were to disappear,
just vanish completely...
75
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:49,589
and I reported you dead,
it would be the same thing.
76
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,325
It wouldn't at all.
If it were
as simple as that...
77
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:55,362
all the dishonest people in
the country would be doing it.
78
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:59,099
Why, it's stealing.
But think of what
it would mean to us.
79
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,836
It would mean security,
no more worrying
about bills...
80
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:06,239
and that little place
in the country we've been
thinking about for so long.
81
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:09,042
It would be wonderful,
but you can't fool an
insurance company like that.
82
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,477
They'd have to have proof.
83
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,813
They wouldn't just
take your word for it.
Sure, they'd demand a body.
84
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:18,451
But you know, after a certain
length of time, a missing
person is considered dead.
85
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,821
You know, you hear
about courts declaring
people legally dead.
86
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:24,824
Frank.
87
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:26,593
Frank.
88
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:31,264
How long would
I have to be....
Seven years.
89
00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:33,600
But, of course,
that 's just when
we'd need it most.
90
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,835
I'd be more than 60 then.
91
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,204
And we wouldn't have to worry,
not for a minute.
92
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,707
We'd get a nice,
quiet little place
in the country.
93
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,977
Just relax and enjoy life.
But seven years, Frank.
94
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,578
I know, honey.
But we could meet
occasionally...
95
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,447
after it all blows over.
96
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:51,117
You know, we could have
dates secretly, and I could
court you all over again.
97
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,853
We'd never get away with it.
Would we?
98
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,889
Of course,
you would have to...
99
00:05:55,922 --> 00:06:00,026
have to move, rent an
apartment under another name,
in Los Angeles, for instance.
100
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,928
Change your
appearance a little.
101
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:06,366
If I had a new dress
and wore glasses. I really
do need glasses, Frank...
102
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,368
and maybe dyed my hair.
103
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,871
You'd look 10 years younger.
No one would recognize you.
104
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:15,275
I guess I have let myself go.
And maybe get a job again.
105
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,143
It would help out
on the insurance payments...
106
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:20,213
we'd have to keep those up,
wouldn't we?
Yes. It won't be easy.
107
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:25,151
Seven years,
that's an awfully long time.
It's just as long for you.
108
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,520
I could stand it,
as long as we could
keep seeing each other.
109
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,056
In secret, I mean.
110
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:34,060
And it wouldn't really
be stealing, would it?
If we kept up the payments.
111
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,862
It really would be our money,
wouldn't it?
112
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,231
Now I don't care about that.
What can they prove?
113
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:41,468
As long as we do it right,
this scheme is foolproof.
114
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,303
Come on, we'll drink a toast.
115
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,472
To the next seven years.
116
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:46,673
To the next seven years.
117
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,079
Are you ready?
I think so.
118
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,315
Now here's the key
to the Los Angeles apartment.
119
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,817
I told the agent it was
for a Miss Mary Pearson.
120
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,387
The initials are the same.
No danger of mistakes.
121
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,856
Now I'll telephone your sister
you're taking the bus.
122
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:05,825
But she always picks me up
when I baby-sit for her.
123
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,061
Don't you think it's odd,
my taking a bus?
124
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,830
I'll tell her
that you had some errands,
and that'll cover it.
125
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,033
As soon as I phone,
we'll drive straight into LA.
126
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,901
You'll have to
be back here by 7:00.
127
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,405
As long as we follow
the plan I've laid out,
we'll be all right.
128
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,041
Hello, Ed? This is Frank.
129
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,877
Ed, would you tell Lucy
that Mildred had
some errands to do...
130
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,146
and that she's taking
the bus over to your place?
131
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,150
You can't get
in touch with her?
132
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,820
No, that's quite all right.
133
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:37,724
Lucy went into town at noon
and is coming straight here
to pick you up at 6:30.
134
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:40,160
We can't do it now.
How do you like that woman?
135
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:43,163
You never can depend on her,
always upsetting our plans.
136
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,764
We'll just have to put
it off till next week.
137
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,933
No, if we put it off now,
we'll never do it.
138
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,735
Come on, honey,
if we hurry we can
still make it.
139
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,403
And we have to make it.
140
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:51,705
All right, Frank.
141
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,849
[horn honking]
142
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,387
When will I see you, Frank?
143
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:10,690
I'll work it out.
I'll write you in
a couple of days.
144
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,026
[horns honking]
145
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:16,129
Come on, dear, come on.
I won't be back in time.
146
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,664
All right, Frank.
147
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,767
Goodbye, dear.
148
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,386
[crickets chirping]
149
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,363
[doorbell buzzing]
150
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:02,175
[doorbell buzzing]
151
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,690
(Frank)
Lucy.
152
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,592
What took you so long?
I've been ringing
for five minutes.
153
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:24,931
I was taking a nap,
I didn't expect you.
You see, Mildred took the bus.
154
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,567
Why should she take a bus?
I've always come for her.
155
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:33,206
I know all that. She had some
errands to do. I called you.
Ed said you'd already gone.
156
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:37,677
Why didn't you think
of calling me earlier? Then it
would have saved me the trip.
157
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:48,088
Well, at first, Mr. Kettle,
it just seemed like
an ordinary mix-up.
158
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,091
Then later,
when Lucy got home...
159
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:55,362
and found that Mildred
hadn't arrived yet,
we began to be worried.
160
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,630
Then, when there was no trace
of her by midnight...
161
00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:01,401
we called the police.
Of course, they didn't
take it seriously.
162
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,704
It had only been a couple
of hours, or so, you see.
163
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,941
But then the next day
when there was no trace
of her...
164
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:11,544
I began to get
in a sort of panic,
and I called the police again.
165
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:15,048
You know,
it was 24 hours before
they sent a man...
166
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,450
around here from
the Missing Persons Bureau.
167
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,419
I imagine they took
a little more interest...
168
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,554
when they found out
about the insurance policy.
169
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,256
Yeah, they certainly did.
170
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,126
They've been questioning me
for two whole days.
171
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:31,164
You understand, Mr. Partridge,
I'm just an insurance man.
172
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,100
You don't have to answer
any of my questions,
if you don't want to.
173
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:38,038
I have nothing
to hide from the police
or the insurance company.
174
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,607
Thanks very much.
175
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,644
Now, how is it you didn't
drive your wife yourself?
176
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,312
She wouldn't hear of it.
177
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:50,150
I'd been working around
the house all day, and she
knew that I was tired out.
178
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,819
Very thoughtful of her.
179
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:58,124
I believe you told
the police that you took
a nap after she left.
180
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:02,629
Yes, as a matter of fact,
Lucy had to ring several times
before she could wake me.
181
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,098
She says it was
more than five minutes.
182
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:07,934
Being asleep, naturally,
I wouldn't know about that.
183
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:13,907
Your sister-in-law
says that you had
dirt stains on your clothes.
184
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,543
Don't you believe
everything that Lucy says.
185
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:20,280
She's never liked me.
But there were dirt stains.
186
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:25,385
I'd been working
in the garden.
187
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:29,489
I wanted to get some fresh air
to clear my head.
188
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:33,593
I'm a little muddled,
Mr. Partridge.
189
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:38,898
I thought you were sleeping.
Well, I was,
this was earlier, you see.
190
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:42,002
Well, before I had the nap.
191
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:46,506
The clothes were dirty,
you were perspiring,
out of breath, agitated.
192
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:50,977
That doesn't sound much to me
like a man who'd just awakened
from a nap.
193
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,781
Your wife has
mysteriously disappeared...
194
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:59,753
and you have a $25,000
life insurance policy.
195
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:02,088
You know, Mr. Partridge...
196
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:05,425
to me, that comes out murder.
Murder?
197
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,061
I didn't kill my wife.
I loved her.
198
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:11,231
And I haven't tried
to claim the $25,000.
199
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,534
You will.
200
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,971
But you'll have to produce
the body to prove she's dead.
201
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,373
How in the world
can I produce a body?
202
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,443
We'll help you.
203
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,613
We'll give you all
the help we can,
Mr. Partridge.
204
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,081
Good day.
205
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,722
[birds chirping]
206
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,225
What's going on here?
What are you doing?
Hello, Mr. Partridge.
207
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,594
You have no right to do this.
You're ruining my roses.
208
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,897
I know. Isn't it a shame.
209
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:48,234
Floribunda.
I grow them myself.
You won't find anything here.
210
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,204
Then you've got
nothing to worry about.
Except your roses, of course.
211
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,206
You still think I killed her?
212
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:56,109
I know you killed her.
I just have to prove it.
213
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,877
Aren't you going to watch?
214
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:01,047
No, I'm going in
to get myself a drink. May I
offer you one, Mr. Kettle?
215
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,482
No, thanks.
216
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,751
Seems I underestimated you.
217
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,589
I was positive we would
have found it by now.
218
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,792
But we will find it,
because we have time
on our side.
219
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:18,198
It requires seven years
to presume death.
220
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:23,436
And if necessary,
we'll keep searching
the whole seven years.
221
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,506
[phone ringing]
222
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,744
[phone continues ringing]
223
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:34,080
Better answer it, Partridge.
224
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,654
Hello.
Frank.
225
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,723
I had to call.
I couldn't stand it
any longer.
226
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:46,826
Yes, I know.
I've been very busy.
227
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,630
You see, my wife
disappeared a week ago.
228
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,234
No, I can't talk to you now--
But I've got to see you.
229
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:57,704
You haven't
written me about
anything that's happening.
230
00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:00,106
Will you try to meet me
somewhere this week?
231
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,542
Yes, of course.
Do you promise?
232
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,210
Yes, I promise.
233
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:10,583
Sounded like a woman's voice.
It was a friend of ours.
234
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,386
Don't you mean yours?
235
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,157
$25,000 and another woman.
236
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,927
It all fits a
very familiar picture.
237
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,096
Well...
238
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,666
as I said,
it's just a matter of time.
239
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,205
These are all 14-day books.
240
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,774
Two cents a day,
for every day after that time.
241
00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:36,743
That'll be 30 cents, please.
242
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:44,150
30, 40, 50, $1. Thank you.
243
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,330
Frank, I've missed
you so much. Why couldn't
we have met before?
244
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,499
I didn't dare risk it, honey.
245
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,669
The police,
the insurance people
have been all over the place.
246
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:06,239
They think I killed you.
No. Well, I'll have
to come back right away.
247
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,575
It's too late.
We'll have to
go through with it.
248
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:11,044
But we won't be able
to meet for a while.
249
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,147
You know, Kettle,
the insurance investigator...
250
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,750
he thinks that
I have a girlfriend.
251
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:20,120
Oh, Frank.
We'll have to be very careful.
252
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:24,090
I think it'll be much safer
if you were further away.
253
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,227
I wouldn't know where to go.
I thought of San Francisco.
254
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,729
It's a big enough place.
You could lose yourself.
255
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,398
You could get a job.
256
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,167
It'll only be a matter
of a few months, honey.
257
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:38,338
Maybe just till Christmas.
I promise I'll spend
Christmas with you.
258
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,774
We'll be together
at Christmas, all right?
259
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,756
[phone ringing]
260
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:01,661
Hello? Yes, I was
calling San Francisco.
261
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,599
Hello, Mildred. This is Frank.
Frank,
is everything all right?
262
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:10,136
Yes, just fine.
We'll be together tomorrow.
263
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:15,342
You mean, I can come back now?
No, of course not.
I'm coming there.
264
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:19,079
I've already made
plane reservations
to fly up in the morning.
265
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,915
I can't believe it.
It's been so long.
266
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:25,685
Are you really coming?
I'll be there.
267
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:29,055
And I have a
Christmas present for you.
I've got one for you, too.
268
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:32,859
But I didn't think I'd ever
be able to give it to you.
269
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,328
Darling, I'm going to cry.
270
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,665
Now, don't cry.
We'll be together tomorrow.
271
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,101
Where shall we meet?
272
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,703
It doesn't matter. Anywhere.
273
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:48,641
Let's eat first at Vallardi's.
That's down on
Fisherman's Wharf.
274
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,744
[birds chirping]
275
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,248
Thought I'd better drop
in on you again.
276
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,684
Wouldn't want you to think
I'm neglecting you.
277
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,487
Haven't you got
anything better to do
than to keep hounding me?
278
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,356
Why, I haven't bothered you
for a couple of months.
279
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,859
But today, I got to thinking,
"This is Christmas...
280
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,095
"and I'll bet Mr. Partridge
is getting sentimental."
281
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,698
Seems I was right?
For the lady friend?
282
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,701
I've told you 1,000 times,
I haven't got a lady friend.
283
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,670
I love my wife.
284
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,272
But your wife has been dead
for five months.
285
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,875
And here you are
with a Christmas present.
286
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,879
Perfume?
287
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:29,082
You wouldn't be
giving perfume to anyone
but a lady, would you?
288
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,951
This is for my wife's sister,
Lucy.
289
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,421
Well, that's certainly very
forgiving of you...
290
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:38,324
considering she
practically accuses you
of killing her sister.
291
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:43,063
I'm doing this
for Mildred's sake.
She would want it that way.
292
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:46,299
I'll ride over with you.
You don't mind, do you?
293
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:49,769
It isn't as if
you were calling
on a lady friend, is it?
294
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,707
[birds continue chirping]
295
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,244
*[music playing on radio]
296
00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,125
I guess my friend
isn't coming.
297
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,448
[doorbell buzzing]
298
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:44,224
Remember me, Mr. Partridge?
Of course I do.
It's been quite a while.
299
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,059
Here. I brought
your mail in for you.
300
00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:48,661
Nothing very exciting there,
no love letters anyway.
301
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,430
There's nobody to write them.
302
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:54,267
You really fooled me.
I was sure there was
another woman.
303
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,537
You fooled yourself,
Mr. Kettle. I told you
that six years ago.
304
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,674
Maybe now you'll believe me.
About another woman? Yes.
305
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,843
You killed your wife
all right, Mr. Partridge.
306
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:07,347
Though to this day,
I'll be darned if I know
what you did with the body.
307
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,382
If you want to read your mail,
go ahead.
308
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:12,285
It's just bills
and advertisements.
309
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:15,221
And the number of times
I went down to the morgue.
310
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:20,727
I figured it was just a
question of time before
somebody would find the body.
311
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,431
You told me that last year,
and the year before,
and the year before that.
312
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,566
What are you going
to do with the $25,000?
313
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,035
You don't have it yet,
and I don't think
you ever will.
314
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,937
But what are your plans?
315
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:36,042
I'm going away, so far away
that I won't ever have
to see you again.
316
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:40,313
Come now, there's
nothing personal in this.
I don't take any moral stand.
317
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,515
Maybe you had a good reason
for killing her.
318
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:46,052
I told you over and over,
I did not kill my wife.
319
00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:47,687
You've been
persecuting me for years.
320
00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:51,558
I've had about all of this
that I'm going to take.
321
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:55,095
Now you get out of my house.
Get out.
322
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:58,665
That's a bad temper
you've got. Is that how
it happened six years ago?
323
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,100
I'm warning you.
324
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,470
I think you're about
ready to crack.
325
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,674
You've got another
whole year to go...
326
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,043
and I don't think
you're going to make it.
327
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,516
[door closing]
328
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:26,192
(Mildred)
Dear friend, I was happy to
receive your recent letter...
329
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,795
and must apologize
for being slow in answering.
330
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,765
For one thing,
I had a week off
and went up to the mountains.
331
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,934
Lake Tahoe.
It was lovely
this time of year.
332
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:37,237
Hope you are well
and taking care of yourself.
333
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,078
[door opening]
334
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,247
[door closing]
335
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,385
Mildred?
What on earth
are you doing here?
336
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,387
I had to see you.
337
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,990
But it's dangerous.
You shouldn't have come.
338
00:20:57,023 --> 00:21:01,294
I was careful. No one saw me.
Only a couple of days to go.
339
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,563
So this is what it's like
after seven years.
340
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:09,202
It's strange,
I'd always thought
of it as being larger.
341
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:12,872
I guess I'm not much
of a housekeeper.
Mildred, you look wonderful.
342
00:21:12,906 --> 00:21:15,975
I suppose one's bound
to change in seven years.
343
00:21:16,076 --> 00:21:19,412
I'm sorry I was irritable,
honey, but you gave
me a start.
344
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:22,182
I can't tell you how good
it is to have you back.
345
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:26,486
I'm not back.
The time is almost up, dear.
346
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,923
I was just writing you
a letter. In two more days,
I go into court.
347
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:33,927
It's no good.
I want to drop
the whole scheme.
348
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,397
I want a divorce.
A divorce?
349
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:41,101
You want a divorce?
I'm sorry, Frank.
350
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:43,636
It just hasn't worked out,
our being apart
all these years.
351
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,773
Nothing's the same.
I've made a new life.
352
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,309
New interests, new values...
353
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,678
and a new love.
But we love each other.
354
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,646
We always have.
Nothing has changed.
355
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,850
I'm afraid it has.
We've both changed
in different ways.
356
00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:59,519
I want to get married again,
and I don't intend
to be a bigamist.
357
00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:02,055
What about our plan?
What about the $25,000?
358
00:22:02,055 --> 00:22:04,657
That's out, of course.
But I've been able
to save a little money.
359
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,960
About $1,500.
I'd like for you to have it.
360
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:10,630
$1,500.
I'll come back to life,
claim amnesia...
361
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,700
and we'll get a divorce.
Are you listening, Frank?
362
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,202
Yes, I'm listening,
but it doesn't make sense.
363
00:22:16,236 --> 00:22:19,973
I've waited and sacrificed
for seven long years
for that $25,000.
364
00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:21,808
Now you want
to pay me off with $1,500.
365
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:24,277
It's the best I can do.
I don't know you.
366
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:27,647
You're not Mildred, you're a
stranger coming in here in
the middle of the night...
367
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:30,083
to steal my money, my $25,000.
368
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:33,953
But you're not going to do it.
You're not going
to have my money.
369
00:22:33,987 --> 00:22:36,723
You're dead.
You've been dead
for seven long years.
370
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,192
Don't you understand?
You are dead!
371
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:40,727
[Mildred screaming]
372
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:47,167
You've been dead too long
to come back now.
373
00:22:50,103 --> 00:22:52,105
[crickets chirping]
374
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:10,490
[birds chirping]
375
00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:15,562
Well, Partridge, big day?
Off to court.
376
00:23:16,930 --> 00:23:19,265
Get off my property.
377
00:23:19,299 --> 00:23:21,935
Let's not have
any hard feelings.
You beat me.
378
00:23:21,968 --> 00:23:25,705
You bet I beat you.
Every step of the way
for seven long years.
379
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:28,942
You were so smug,
so eternally sure of yourself.
380
00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:30,677
What have you got
to show for it?
381
00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:34,180
Rub it in, Partridge.
You're entitled to it.
382
00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:36,116
Been doing some work
in the garden?
383
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:40,587
I was just doing
a little spading. I'm putting
in some floribunda.
384
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:43,423
Haven't got very far with it.
My back's been bothering me.
385
00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:46,226
Tell you what?
Just to show you
there's no hard feeling...
386
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:49,696
while you're gone,
I'll spade it up for you.
No, don't bother.
387
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:54,000
That's all right.
I'll enjoy it. Good exercise.
388
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:57,203
I'll have it finished
by the time you get back
from court.
389
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,175
[birds chirping]
390
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:24,597
By way of tidying
up our story...
391
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,400
I feel obliged to tell you
that Mrs. Partridge...
392
00:24:27,434 --> 00:24:30,337
eventually received
what is termed...
393
00:24:30,370 --> 00:24:32,872
"a decent burial."
394
00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:35,842
While this did not
make her feel any better...
395
00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:39,946
knowing it may allow you
to rest more easily.
396
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:42,515
Well, that's our story
for this evening.
397
00:24:42,549 --> 00:24:46,686
All of our show, including
the following commercial,
is on film.
398
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,789
However, the corpse
on tonight's program...
399
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:53,493
originated live
in New York City.
I'll be back in a minute.
400
00:24:55,662 --> 00:25:01,301
And now if you don't mind,
I shall stage a
disappearance of my own.
401
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:05,538
But don't be alarmed.
I shall not stay out
of sight for seven years.
402
00:25:05,572 --> 00:25:07,907
Just seven days.
403
00:25:07,941 --> 00:25:10,844
When I reappear,
it will be to tell you...
404
00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:13,913
another of our
little fairy stories
for grown-up children.
34509
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