Original subtitles

My name's Miko Mido, one totally unlucky student.

Because of a bunch of things that happened, l'll have to...

duck attacks from the perverted Shikima for the rest of my life!

Jeez, Grandma! Why'd you have to go and die?! Oh, well.

Anyhow, the story started with a lot of misunderstandings...

...that ended up getting my sister kidnapped instead of me.

And l ended up having to do it for the first time with a...

...totally gross monster!Jeez!

So, now what?

Huh?! Now the Suzuka clan's coming for me?! Gimme a break!

And what's that about me and my sister's destinies?

And who were those people who helped us last time?

And some secret about blue blood...? What?!

What's up?

See for yourself!

l'm watching!

Let the show begin!

See you later!

Hey, check this out.

Ew, is that really blood? How totally gross!

Too... Too...much...

What's over there!

Dammit, Nin-Nin! Causing trouble again?

l only took my eyes off you for a second!

l'm sorry, Miko-chan!

l told you Sis has something important to tell us today!

We don't have time for this!

See that? Yeah.

Think he's Miko's boyfriend?

Yuk! No accounting for taste!

Let's go!

Gotcha! They're so big! What a handful.

How about yours? They're even bigger than mine.

Oh no, l wasn't that hard, was l...?

What kind of Shikima king breaks the Law?!

The Law which has maintained order...

...in the Shikima world since time immemorial!

He's right!

When the king himself chooses to blatantly break the laws of our land...

...how can we who hide on the other side of the human existence...

...honorably manipulate the passions of men?

Punish the traitor!

Down with King Seikima!

But no one has ever been able to penetrate the inner sanctum!

Seikima's great powers are far beyond our own!

Don't be a coward! We have this!

The legendary signet case which rules the Shikima world.

lt wasn't made simply to seal the agreement...

...between the Shikima and the Miroku clan!

lt seals the traitor Seikima's strength...

...and hides the great power with which he rules our realm!

Kyomara-sama! We, your loyal subjects, rejoice with all our hearts and might...

...at your return to life!

Our miserable and wretched lives are yours, Kyomara-sama!

You are the one true and great divine leader of all the Shikima world!

You've pledged your lives to me... Zenzo!

Soon, yes very soon, the whole of the great Shikima world...

will be ours to rule forever!

Hey, Miko. Are you paying attention?

l said l was... Nin-Nin, get away from that!

Try and get it! l'm clearing this level by myself!.

Agh, the boss! The boss!

Miko!

Sis! Sis...

Right.

Pay attention!

Now then, what do you think is really going on, Miko dear?

Well, Sis, you know as much as l do.

And there's lots of crazy stuff in our dear Grandma's diary l don't understand.

l do think it's weird that you would want to go back to the Shikima world!

That may be so.

But aren't you the least bit curious about that stuff about us...

''not sharing the same blood?''

Uh... That is...

And why did that guy in the Shikima world...

...their king, l think, help us out like he did?

Good point.

And that woman with him, who seemed so lonely...

Yeah. But there was something very familiar about her.

l know. l'd like to meet her again someday...

Sis...

Do your eyes tell me you've decided, Miko?

Sis... could you help me masturbate...

lt's the only way for me to get back to the Shikima world?

Yes.

Do it. l'd like to watch you.

This is my lucky day!

Maria!

No trouble at all!

Darling!

Kyomara?! l thought you were dead!

Like hell! Seikima! Divider of the Shikima world!

You breaker of the law, you've disgraced our people! l shall lead from now on!

Ridiculous! You're mad!

Certainly not at all!

You cannot be trusted with leadership of the Shikima world.

What are you doing, you filthy...! Stop this!

Darling!

Fool! Take a good look at this!

The rage of heaven upon you! Take this!

Darling!

Come along now. Soon you'll have a taste of me.

Take her!

No! Darling! Darling!

Darling!

Don't be so troublesome. You'll have your fun quite soon.

Darling!

Bosatsu...

Brother...

Ranmaru! Bosatsu! lt's been 49 days already...

You have mastered the secret sexcraft of the Suzuka clan.

Grandfather!

Then...it's time.

We've only to wait patiently for Zenzo, our agent in the Shikima world.

Grandfather!

ls it Zenzo?

Yes. l've assumed the guise of a Shikima...

...and have fomented an uprising.

And what about that Miroku crone's granddaughter?

No sign.

The little bitch could cause trouble for your performance of the secret arts.

Zenzo, we're counting on you. lt's up to you...help us!

Grandfather!

Hang on!

Ranmaru! Bosatsu! Go now!

And answer 400 years of unanswered prayers by the Suzuka clan!

Grandfather!

Hear me, Suzuka clan! Shed no tears for our leader!

Let them come instead from Miko Mido's love juices!

We set out for the Shikima world! All of you, follow me!

Really gross.

Girl student who plays with herself to go where monsters live...

Look all over Japan for one and you'll find me.

l hate this!

lt's...really something...

l mean...wow...

Wow-wee...

Wow, it feels...so good...

Sis!?

Miko... Uh, l...

Hey, are you alright? What's wrong?

Oh! Don't look! My fingers! My fingers just won't stop!

No fair, you're getting to see it all by yourself! l wanna look, too!

Front row, center!

Not Nin-Nin, too! Don't look!

Oh no! l'm going to...!

Miko!

Sis... Oh yeah. l came, didn't l?

Oh, Miko dear, l'm glad you're awake now.

So, the Shikima world's down that way? Scary.

How far does it go?

Yow! That's a hole that goes down as far as you can see!

Nin-Nin, you dirty little pervert. What the hell do you think you're looking at?!

Whoa! Hold it! Sis! Nin-Nin! HELP!!!

Miko, please don't just leave us like this.

Ml KO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!

Zenzo, my lord we have them ready.

Good, now l want you to take them and turn their dripping holes...

...towards the Mirror of Shame!

Come on, you horny monsters, lend a hand!

Come on, try moving it by yourself.

Yes... Yes! Just like that!

The Suzuka entrance is opening.

The Mirror of Shame is working!

The machine's warmed up! Bring her down!

Just who do you think you are? What's the meaning of all this?!

Do you have any idea what this will do?

Stop this madness and let me down, now!

Dripping wet already, l see.

You may be queen of the Shikima, but you're still a human woman!

Or do you even deserve the title of queen?

Our reinforcements will soon come charging through this mirror.

Just wait. ln a few moments...

...we'll take control of the Shikima world! Begin!

l don't understand. Who... Who are you?! Who?!

That trickle will give power to the mirror!

lt's hot! We're burning up down there!

Your little holes are filling with the power!

Ah, the mirror has opened!

lt's time, Brother.

Yes... My people! The path lies open to us! Go!

Sis? Hey, Nin-Nin!

l'm sorry! Don't be afraid! Answer me!

Oh, l wonder where they could have gone?

What?!

Our leader told us to answer the prayers of the Suzuka clan.

l'll be in command from now on. ls that clear?!

Hunt down the Shikima... And kill them all!

Help! The Suzuka--

The Suzuka?! What are you talking about? What about them?! Hey!

From this day forth, the Suzuka clan controls the Shikima world.

Your duties are finished!

Prepare to die!

Help Kyomara! Save us.

Hey Ranmaru. lt's no trouble at all.

You've done your job, Zenzo. My thanks to you.

Sir!

We follow the plan from here. Go to it, Bosatsu!

As you wish, Brother.

Now, to get you all out of our hair.

Sure! And what can one little girl do against us?!

Come on down! You're our prisoner!

Ooh, so you think you're tough guys, eh!

But l'm afraid you don't know who you're dealing with.

Actually, you're all my prisoners and you won't...

...be able to lay a finger on me.

What...?!

Now, get all your horny friends to have a look, too.

l can't take it!

l'm getting this big from just looking at it!

Look. l'll even do...this boys!

l... l can't...!

l... l...

The Suzuka Sexcraft Penis Wringer!

Gets those horny, overgrown, monster dicks every time.

Nin-Nin! Where are you?

Ranmaru! That was Miko Mido!

You didn't take care of her already?

l'll defeat her myself!.

l think it came from this way...

What's...?

l wonder where those two are? l'm really getting worried.

ls he one of the Shikima?

Such absorbing eyes...

What are you searching for here?

Uh, well... My sister and...a little...

Wait a minute! You're that Peeping Tom from earlier today!

l'll just bet you're one of them!

No way!

Any more tricks out of you and Miko'll kick your butt!

Hey! lt's not fair going in behind a girl when she can't even move!

Hey! Looks like you've got good points after all!

Maybe just a little lick, in gratitude?

Don't push it!

Nin-Nin! Let me down!

Yow! That voice!

Have you forgotten?

l used to sing you to sleep with Miyu and Miko in the...

...Mido village when you were all babies.

Miss Maria!

Miss Maria, l'll have you down in a sec!

Wait, Nin-nin before you do any--

Oh,J EEZ! l'm sorry, Miss Maria!

- What's with those two? - That's GOTTA hurt!

So, how do you like my hard little friend?

Delicious...

Do you really want it?

l do! Come into me!

Oh, Ranmaru...

Delicious, is it?

When you clean it off, l'll come inside of you.

Oh, would you, Ranmaru?

Miko Mido... Once l've conquered you...

...you will be such a lovely prize!

Ranmaru? l must tell you my name is Miyu. My sister is Miko Mido.

What?! Off with you!

- ls this true? - Yes.

l've been wasting my time!

Wait! Wait, Ranmaru!

l seek only vengeance for the Suzuka clan...

...through the conquest of Miko Mido!

lf you are not her, then you're of no use to me!

Then all... Then all that love making you did to me was a lie?

l thought you knew the arts.

What are you implying? ''Love...?!''

Ridiculous! Love, in the ninja arts?!

Don't think badly of me. Best if you just forget it.

But, l... Ranmaru, l...l can't believe it.

Oh, where'd everybody go?

l'm bushed.

Shikima?!

So, l see that my friend Ranmaru didn't finish you. Prepare to die, Miko!

- Oh, that's... - Miko!

You...PERVERT!!!

That belonged to my Grandma!

No you don't!

Bosatsu!

l'll just help myself to this.

Miko, get it back!

You're that... Huh?! Nin-Nin, you too?! And...

The volleyball team?! What're you doing here?

Look out!

You can't have that!

Miko, l'll handle this!

Thanks, Nin-Nin!

Bosatsu!

You fool!

WHA...?!!

Hey...do you mind giving me a hand up? Ha?

- Oh come on! - Agh! Stop it!

Ml KO!!!

Awaken! Open your eyes, Miko Mido!

Oh no. No sudden moves. Take a look at your situation.

l suppose you can guess what'll happen if you move.

But you don't need to be a ninja to see that!

But l am one.

And l know how to turn your fear into pleasure.

How about a nice little taste of Suzuka sexcraft?

Doesn't it feel good?

But that'll be one hell of a cut if we should slip.

No please... No more!

l'm going to...!

Oh, how vulgar.

You've soiled my lovely blade.

l want you to lick it!

Come on...

l said to lick it!

Shit!

- Now, you bitch, it's my turn. - What?

What are you doing?

Getting payback.

Whatever you're thinking, you're up against a ninja's snatch!

lf you think that's gonna work on me, then you've got...another...

There's... There's something going inside of me!

The Nyoninboh, one of the secret arts of the Miroku women.

l can use my power to make my clitoris as big as a man's penis.

lt is a little emergency trick we learned that is guaranteed to drive women crazy.

lncredible!

These are the Mido secret arts that my grandfather was so afraid of!.

More! Make me come!

Everything started from this mysterious little signet case.

You are Miko Mido?

Yeah, you masked pervert! And get your hands out of there now!

Magnificent! The fabled Nyoninboh.

Excellently executed!

Oh, come on! Can't it be face-to-face for a change?!

Ah, excuse me. l am Ranmaru, ninja of the Suzuka clan.

And, instead of my sister, l shall defeat you, Miko Mido!

No!

Soon you'll be mine! There we go... There we go!

Now to bring you in through my back door.

''Back door...?'' Ew! Yuck!

l'm not into that anal stuff!.

A woman...?

Here goes...

Jeez, l don't believe it. A real son-of-a bitch hermaphrodite!

So, this is how the Nyoninboh feels!

l...won't lose!

Like l'd let you...beat me?! l won't lose!

This must be... the effect of the Nyoninboh... my God!

Grandfather was wise to fear it!

lncredible! At this rate, l'll be the one to lose.

Stop that!

Too bad two sets of equipment adds up to a loss for you. Let's see you COME!

Uh, it's over...

The Suzuka clan... someone besides the Shikima who are after me...

And what's with the signet case?

Miko!

Sis!

Miko, that person... Ranmaru has had enough. Please let him go.

Oh, l didn't do anything to Ranmaru. But what's with you?

l... l'm in love with Ranmaru.

LOVE?! Did you say ''love,'' darling sister Miyu?

But she's a woman. Even if she's got a...

But... But, l... l love Ranmaru!

Alright, alright. lf that's the way you feel l won't do anything.Jeez...

Don't move!

Now just hand over the signet case without any fuss.

My beloved Ranmaru!

Hell, and l treated you really nice, too!

- Silence! -Joke! lt was a joke!

No! Maria, you...!

Ah, What? ''Maria?''

Get away from them, both of you.

My mother?

Wha- wha- what do you mean?!

Miyu was born in the Mido village.

And Miko... You were born here, in the Shikima world.

The daughter of Seikima, the Shikima king, and myself.

Huh? No way! l'm a Shikima's kid?!

So, that guy who helped us...

Yes. That was your father.

Miko-ling!

Yay! Papa-ling!

No fucking way!

Ah, lf l'm the child of a Shikima... then, sad but true,

...l must be the one with the ''different blood!''

You weren't born with a Shikima's body, darling, but a human one instead.

So, Miko, that's why we gave you to your grandmother to raise.

Then you're saying that... Miyu is the real Mido woman.

l couldn't inherit the title. So sister Miko did instead...

...and sadly, l was driven out of the Mido village.

My carrying a Suzuka child disqualified us from being...

...in the chief family of the Miroku clan.

l was... the Suzuka child?

Your attraction to Ranmaru is the karma of the Suzuka clan.

Perhaps you weren't conquered by his sexcraft after all.

What?

An lnju! A gathering of innumerable Shikima!

lt's...so big!

l have to stay here.

So Miko, you have to go on ahead of us to the spring...

...and free your father, King Seikima. l'm sure he is held there. Got it?

Free that monster?!

Now Miko, you must use the light of the secret signet case you are carrying!

The case? But how?!

Oh, hell! Gotta go!

ls that him?

Ahh, Papa-ling!

Miko-ling! Miko-ling!

Gotta stop thinking like that.

lf l can't make it happen now, there's no telling if l can save the others.

Gotta keep thinking that!

So, this is my father?

l'm sorry. l don't remember you at all... Father...!

What's that?

Father!

Miko!

Damn those Shikima! What are they doing?!

Don't know, Father!

Miko!

Father!

Ml KO!

What's that...!

Miko!

Mother!

Miko, darling where's your father?

l freed him, but... l was the only one the light took.

He was buried under rubble! l don't know if...!

He'll be fine. Your father's pretty powerful.

So don't worry. He'll protect you, darling.

They're trapped on the school grounds for now.

But if they break loose...

...they'll be after every woman on Earth!

Without a leader, they won't follow any sort of law!

No...

Don't worry. l'll fight them all!

You're safe now!

Careful, Nin-Nin!

Miss Maria!

ls that blue blood...!

What the...?!

Your majesty!

The king! The king of the Shikima!

Damned traitor!

Father!

Miko...

The blue blood which flows within you...

...is proof of our family bond!

Huh? Blood? Yow! l've got blue blood!

Miko, it was l, their king, who sent the Shikima against you.

The law of the ninja is absolute!

Though it was by accident... the agreement between...

...the Shikima and the Miroku clan was broken.

l had to dispatch my minions against you, my own daughter...

...to fight you with sexcraft, as we had agreed.

Can you understand?

Listen well, Shikima!

The order to attack Miko Mido is now annulled...

...by her possession of the signet case!

You are to never attack her again!

We also have to clean up our world...

...which the Suzuka have ruined so badly!

Now back to the realm!

Father, please. Can't we... just live together?

l guess not.

Doesn't my massive appearance frighten you?

lt's okay.

Forgive me, my daughter Miko Mido.

But l have my royal duties as king of the Shikima world.

Stupid...

Even Sis...

Even Sis doesn't mind! That you're...

That you look like a monster!

She's right.

Anyway, our job here is done.

Miko, remember please don't neglect your studies from now on.

The way you're going now, l'm sure you will be breaking a lot of guys' hearts.

Stupid...

- Miyu, take care of her. - l will.

And please know that l will always be watching over the both of you.

Even when they're on the toilet?

Farewell, all!

No! Wait! Don't go!

No... No! Why? Don't go.

YOU STUPl D...!!!

Ouch! Oww, l cut my finger!

You're so clumsy, Miko.

- Nin-Nin! - What'd l do?!

Why'd you get roses with the thorns still on them?! OW!

Brother...

Let's go.

Come back here, Nin-Nin! HEY!!!

Grandma, l finally met Father.

And all sorts of things happened because of that signet case.

Were you behind some of that, too?

Ooh, l like it!

Dammit, Nin-Nin! That's all l'm gonna take!

Help! lt was just a little joke!