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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,433 CHORUS [SINGS]: The Simpsons 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,132 Brake My Wife, Please 3 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,167 D'oh! Ah! 4 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,417 Okay, kids, stay together. 5 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,055 I appreciate you helping us out with this field trip. 6 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,922 Oh, a mom's work is never done. 7 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,718 Hmm, I thought I was being kicked exceptionally hard lately. 8 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,190 If I could be any type of shark, I'd be a tiger shark. 9 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,057 - How about you, Milhouse? - I guess a nurse shark. 10 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,706 I mean... Oh! Ow, ow! 11 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,093 [ROARS] 12 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,470 Well, looks like Mr. Walrus and his family... 13 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,722 ...are enjoying their Sunday brunch. 14 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,130 [ALL LAUGHING] 15 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,852 Shut up. What am I, some sort of joke to you people? 16 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:04,168 Now, over here is our newest exhibit, Wonders of the Gulf Coast. 17 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,951 ALL: Ooh! 18 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,849 Shut up. It's not that exciting. 19 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,280 The gulf is home to a breathtaking array of sea life. 20 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,908 But oil spills are threatening its delicate ecosystem. 21 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,410 [ALL GASPING] 22 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,924 Hey, without oil, you wouldn't have your fancy four-wheel drives. 23 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,031 You want to go back to two-wheel drive? 24 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,793 Well, do you? 25 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,076 [CHUCKLES] 26 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,921 I didn't mean to steal focus. 27 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,122 MAN [ON MONITOR]: Antarctic life is a constant struggle. 28 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,344 These sea lions survive by eating the leftovers... 29 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,420 ...of the various film crews that plague the continent. 30 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:38,849 [GROANS] 31 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,684 Hmm... 32 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,364 [BLEATING] 33 00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,209 [GASPS] 34 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,513 This tank is for our Pacific Habitat, which is currently being remodeled. 35 00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,026 Where do you keep the fish till it's done? 36 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,384 Oh, they're well taken care of in our storage facility. 37 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,504 In this tank... 38 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,579 ...we see some of the most exotic species of the coral reef. 39 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,333 Look, that giant clam appears to be opening. 40 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,815 This could be a wonderful journal entry. 41 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:19,806 [CHILDREN GASPING] 42 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,403 Look at the size of those flawless pearls. 43 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,427 [HUMMING] 44 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:26,939 [CHILDREN LAUGHING] 45 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,431 Oh, I might have known. But I didn't. 46 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,182 Bart, get out of there. 47 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,073 [BART GRUNTING] 48 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,382 - My boy. Will he be all right? - This kind of injury is routine. 49 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,853 [HIBBERT CHUCKLING] 50 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,014 Bart will be up and underachieving in no time. 51 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,996 All I need is your insurance card. 52 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,592 Hmm, my husband has our card. 53 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,626 No problem. 54 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,589 Now, you stay shackled to that radiator until you come up with some insurance. 55 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,132 [CHUCKLES] 56 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:08,616 Well, it's 11 a.m. on a workday, so he must be at that stupid bar. 57 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,826 [PHONE DIALING] 58 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,140 Is my husband there? 59 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,226 I don't think he's here. Uh, hang on. Let me check. 60 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,635 [GRUNTS] 61 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,075 Nope. 62 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,326 What you wearing? 63 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,536 [LINE DISCONNECTS] 64 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,818 [SIGHS] 65 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,930 Okay, five more minutes and I'm chewing my hand off. 66 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,204 - Bart, are you okay? - Oh, Homie, where have you been? 67 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,572 - I've been calling all over for you. - Hey, take it easy. 68 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,961 I went to the video store to rent a movie for the family. 69 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,837 [HOMER HUMMING] 70 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,090 MAN [ON TV]: He's got a nose for news... HOMER: Hmm. 71 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,133 ...and a diaper full of headlines. 72 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,783 - Hey, chief. MAN: He's editor-in-chimp. 73 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,150 [LAUGHING] 74 00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,068 That monkey's wearing a hat. 75 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,561 WOMAN[ON TV]: Lifetime Films presents Buttercups of Autumn. 76 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:02,159 I fear I have become a buttercup of winter. 77 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,047 Hush up, Nana. That's fool talk. 78 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,290 [SOBBING] 79 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,292 [MONKEY GIBBERING] 80 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,930 [LAUGHING] 81 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,892 [SOBBING] Nana, she's so wise... 82 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,770 ...but no one's gonna benefit from her wisdom. 83 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,346 [MONKEY GIBBERS AND HOMER LAUGHS] 84 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,932 Look, he's misspelling words. 85 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,685 WOMAN: Nana. - [SOBBING] Oh, she's so... 86 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,679 Well, from now on, you need to get a cell phone so I can reach you. 87 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,254 You just can't get a cell phone. 88 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,267 Lindsay Naegle, Veriqual Cellular. 89 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,364 And I can offer you a whole range of cellular solutions. 90 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,814 Can I get a phone that plays the Mexican hat dance? 91 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,190 I insist on it. 92 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:45,817 [MEXICAN RINGTONE PLAYING OVER PHONE] 93 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,412 [SINGING] I dance, I dance, I dance 94 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,841 Around the Mexican hat 95 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,948 I dance, I dance, I dance And that's the end of that 96 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,650 Or is it? I guess I'll keep singing My cell phone appears to be ringing 97 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,339 [CAR HORN HONKS] 98 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,549 MAN: Hey! 99 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,114 Barney, you ever notice how hard it is to drive with your knees? 100 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,533 Why don't get one of those hands-free phones? 101 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,682 It's the next best thing to paying attention to the road. 102 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,871 Hands-free, eh? 103 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,052 Then I could give the brothers the black-power salute. 104 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,451 Black power, black power. 105 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:16,848 Was that Al Roker? 106 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,944 His exuberance is perplexing. 107 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,719 We have headsets, but you'd be mad to stop there. 108 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,952 Tell me, what is currently plugged into your car's cigarette lighter? 109 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,038 - Uh, a lighter. - I weep for you. 110 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:33,292 These days, everything from fax machines to coffeemakers... 111 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,180 - ...can be plugged into your dash hole. - I'll take them. 112 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,506 DVD player, check. 113 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,049 Snow-cone machine, check. 114 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,541 Lite-Brite, check. 115 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,554 Fog machine... 116 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,589 Even I think this is crazy. 117 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,810 [SCRATCHES] 118 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,551 [RAPPING] Chaka Khan, let me rock you 119 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,731 Let me rock you Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan 120 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,494 Whisk the egg whites into the batter mixture... 121 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,175 ...while scraping the edges with a very stiff rubber spatula. 122 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,053 Now let's look in on our hush puppies. 123 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,066 [HOMER HUMMING] 124 00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,413 Ah. 125 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,010 [GRUNTING] 126 00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:17,628 [GASPS] 127 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,120 Oh, my God. I gotta do something. 128 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,466 [BEEPING] 129 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,853 Come on, transmit. 130 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,188 Transmit. 131 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,964 Save me, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan! 132 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,689 [SPUTTERS THEN COUGHS] 133 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,744 Oh, I'll never mock the Coast Guard again. 134 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,508 You Navy rejects are all right. 135 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,229 Mr. Simpson, give me your license. 136 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:47,939 [GROANS] 137 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,216 [DOGS GROWLING] 138 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,281 Burn their poop. 139 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,867 I am so screwed. 140 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,557 I can't drive to work. I can't drive to the store. 141 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,205 And I certainly can't drive to the store at work. 142 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,665 [SIGHS] 143 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,647 I guess I'll have to do all your driving chores. 144 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,640 That's what a good wife does, picks up the slack. 145 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,362 That reminds me. We gotta pick up my slacks at that dry cleaner in Shelbyville. 146 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,813 Why can't you use the local dry cleaner? 147 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,065 Uh, I didn't want him to know my size. 148 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,431 [GROANS] 149 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,267 Thanks for picking my friends up from the strip club, Marge. 150 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,489 - Can we stop for ice cream? - Homer always stops for ice cream. 151 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,377 - We'll see. - That always means no. 152 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,807 [GROANS] 153 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,330 Where's your mother? I gotta get to Moe's. 154 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,916 Dad, Mom's been driving everyone everywhere. 155 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,096 Why don't you take public transportation? 156 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,921 Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians. 157 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,142 Oh, I guess I'll walk. 158 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,374 Stupid walking. 159 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,407 Thighs chafing horribly. 160 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,273 No drink holder. 161 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,578 I miss my car so much. 162 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,997 Everyone's driving but me. 163 00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:00,866 I can't drive 55 because it only goes 38. 164 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,111 - I let go of the parking brake. - [PANTING] Ralphie, if you stop... 165 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,280 ...I'll let you play with my gun. 166 00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,741 [HUMMING] 167 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,148 I did it. 168 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,578 I walked all the way to Moe's from my house. 169 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,726 BART: Way to go, Dad. 170 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,697 You know, I feel pretty good. 171 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,826 Maybe I should just keep walking instead of going into a dark, dreary bar. 172 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,808 Get in here, boozy. You're late for your drunkening. 173 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:30,187 No. From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover. 174 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,638 Hmph. 175 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,307 Huh. Hey, maybe this is a sign. 176 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,070 Maybe it's time to get out of the alcohol business... 177 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,208 ...give barber college another try. 178 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:43,430 And this time, I won't join a frat. 179 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,234 Who the hell am I talking to? 180 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:48,174 You know, all this walking is paying off. 181 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,905 Look how healthy I am. 182 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,232 You see? I'm finally thin enough to wrap this thing around my arm. 183 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,819 Good for you, Dad. Could you get me some syrup? 184 00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:00,415 Mm, mm. 185 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,220 You see? Before I probably would've driven to the syrup. 186 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,151 Kids, hurry up and eat. We have to leave for the dentist five minutes ago. 187 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,009 [BART GRUNTING] 188 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,199 We don't have time for choking. 189 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,430 Calm down, Stresserella. 190 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,851 Unh, I'm stressed because now that you've lost your license... 191 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,343 ...I'm a full-time family chauffeur. 192 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,377 Now, now, honey, we all appreciate what you do. 193 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,609 But real chauffeurs have uniforms and licenses. 194 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,717 You could get in a lot of trouble with the Livery Commission. 195 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,146 To hell with the Livery Commission. 196 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,148 You don't know what you're saying. 197 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,485 What a day for a stroll. 198 00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,372 MAN: Come on! WOMAN: What are you doing...? 199 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,322 [CHATTERING] 200 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,825 Seymour, the two of us could make good use of this time. 201 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,881 Indeed. You take this teacher-evaluation test. 202 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,895 I'll proctor. Read the directions silently as I read them aloud to you. 203 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,564 Look at those suckers in their metal coffins. 204 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,660 I can go to work any way I want. 205 00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,516 [WHISTLES] 206 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,895 Psst. Bishop to queen four. 207 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,438 We're playing dominoes. 208 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,930 I said bishop to queen four. 209 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,088 All right, all right, you. 210 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,643 [WHISTLING] 211 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,572 [GRUNTS] 212 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,334 Simpson, you're a menace. 213 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,680 Oh, George, leave the boy be. 214 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,661 Martha, I want a divorce. 215 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,456 Oh, George, you've made me so happy. 216 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,678 [HOMER HUMS] 217 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:30,766 You're the first one here. Please accept this free ticket to the 1939 World's Fair. 218 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:32,539 Thanks, Mr. Burns. 219 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,489 I owe it all to walking. 220 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,158 Walking, eh? Let me give it a try. 221 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,701 [GRUNTS] 222 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,005 - Whoa! - Huh! 223 00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,768 Well, I'd better drag myself to the hospital. 224 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,281 [GRUNTING] 225 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:47,585 Oh, dear. 226 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,691 Smithers, scoop me up. 227 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,643 How could you both miss the bus to school? 228 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,459 We touched hands. Then we had to wash the cooties off. 229 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,897 [GROANS] 230 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,149 [RUSTLES] 231 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,807 What's all that rustling? 232 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,371 My show-and-tell project. 233 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,644 A Peruvian fighting frog. 234 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,990 Hey, I brought a Peruvian fighting frog. 235 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,585 [BOTH CROAKING] 236 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,373 [GRUNTING] 237 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,189 When will they stop? 238 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,805 Come nightfall. 239 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,663 How about we take a family walk around the block? 240 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,416 - Yay! I wanna amble. - I wanna saunter. 241 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:27,813 - Amble. - Saunter. 242 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,022 - Amble. - Saunter. 243 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,712 Stop saying things. 244 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,454 Honey, you seem frazzled. Why don't you come with us? 245 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,414 Hey, I'd like that. 246 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,897 Oh, I can't. I have to go pick up Grampa. 247 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,202 He proposed to another hooker at the bus station. 248 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:43,693 [CHUCKLES] 249 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,351 You sure love driving. 250 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,468 Mm-hm. 251 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,082 [HUMMING] 252 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,366 Morning, Homer. Looking good. 253 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,566 Walking has made a new man out of you. 254 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,361 It sure has. You see this bulge back here? 255 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,197 Now it actually is a fanny pack. 256 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,814 Unh, no, wait. It's still my ass. 257 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,701 But your point is well taken. 258 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,234 You see... 259 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,467 [SINGING] I like to walk down the avenue 260 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,011 Bust a move with Disco Stu 261 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,880 You shake me from my booty To my 'fro 262 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,698 Yes, I strut down the boulevard Burning off my excess lard 263 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:34,807 I rarely feel the need to utter "d'oh" 264 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,872 - Top of the morning, ladies. - Bite us. 265 00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:42,189 I can walk from Springfield to Alaska 266 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,463 Then hobnob with the stars in Malibu 267 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,143 Hi, Homer. I'm actor Steve Buscemi. 268 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,709 The guy who got fed into the wood chipper in Fargo? 269 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:55,870 - And when I hear... BOTH: You can't walk to Turkmenistan 270 00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,457 I say, of course, I can Screw you 271 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,982 Hey, would you guys like tickets to the Independent Film Awards? 272 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,119 [IN UNISON] Would we? 273 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:12,386 Oh, I love to perambulate It's standing still I really hate 274 00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:15,389 So let me please reiterate, I love to... 275 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,600 [TIRES SQUEAL THEN HOMER SCREAMS] 276 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:20,634 [GASPS] 277 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,783 Oh, my feet are inside me. 278 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,612 I am so sorry, Homie. 279 00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,708 How is your crushed pelvis? 280 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,428 Pretty good. Thanks for asking. 281 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:37,182 I don't know what happened. I saw you and I went for the brake... 282 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,538 ...but I hit the accelerator. 283 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,342 It's okay, Marge. 284 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,773 It would've been worse if I hadn't been carrying this Bible in my crotch. 285 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:46,910 Marge, while Homer recuperates... 286 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,746 ...I'm afraid you'll have to do everything for him. 287 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:51,415 That's okay. 288 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:52,697 I can handle it. 289 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,190 Homie, why don't you just relax and have a little soup? 290 00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,777 - Aah! Too hot. Too hot. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 291 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,758 Aah! Hot. Hot. Hot. 292 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,823 Warm. Tepid. Cool. 293 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,337 Cold. Cold. So cold. 294 00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:12,144 Oh, you're really coming along, Homie. 295 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,511 Yeah. The doctor says that soon my pelvis... 296 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,348 ...will actually be stronger and more beautiful than ever. 297 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,887 Gee, everything always works out for you. 298 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,430 [HOMER GRUNTS] 299 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,578 Aah! Oh, my God. Let me help you up. 300 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:33,113 Marge, you're trying to hurt me. 301 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:35,615 What? That's crazy. 302 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,431 No, it's true. The car, the soup. 303 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,705 It's like you hate me, your own husband. 304 00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,416 That's ridiculous. I don't like you. 305 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,532 I mean hate you, hate you, hate you. 306 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:47,950 I hate you! 307 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:51,339 I've heard that from coworkers, strangers on the street... 308 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,654 ...even my own children. 309 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,522 But I never thought I'd hear it from you. 310 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,670 Maybe we should see a counselor. 311 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,755 Who's we? Got a mouse in your purse? 312 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,503 Manjula, I'm so glad you have finally forgiven me for having an affair. 313 00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:11,151 [GRUNTS] 314 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:13,215 She used to elbow me in the face. 315 00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:14,571 [CHUCKLES] 316 00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:16,375 Next, please. 317 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,264 I've been married to my husband for 10 years... 318 00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:22,548 ...and part of me wants to kill him. 319 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,790 Perhaps you feel that your husband sees you as less of a partner... 320 00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,480 ...and more of a doormat? 321 00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,523 Nothing could be further from the... 322 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,559 You could be onto something there. 323 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,198 [HOMER DROOLING] 324 00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:40,336 What? Oh, sorry, I got a lot on my mind. 325 00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:42,171 That's okay. Take your time. 326 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,780 All right, before you came in, I asked you each... 327 00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,950 ...to make a list of the people that are most important to you. 328 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,254 - Homer, you first. - There's Homer... 329 00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:56,217 ...Homer J. Simpson, and Commander Cool, a.k.a. me. 330 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,448 That's us in a nutshell. 331 00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,253 I care so much about you, Homer. 332 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,474 But I'm not even on your list. 333 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:04,944 Excuse me. 334 00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:08,677 We gotta help her. 335 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,804 If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy. 336 00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:13,901 And if I'm not happy, Moe is very happy. 337 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,299 But for once, this isn't about Moe. 338 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,812 What should I do, Dr. Hotdog? 339 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,294 All right, I have an answer. 340 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:25,277 You must perform for her one completely unselfish gesture. 341 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,332 You mean, like give her full custody of the kids? 342 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,762 Yeah, full custody. That's exactly what I... 343 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,482 - You're an idiot. - Unh. 344 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:35,756 You gotta knock her off her feet with something utterly romantic. 345 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,895 Something that says, "I care about you." 346 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,616 I see. Do you have any suggestions? 347 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,796 - I do. But the hour's over. - Here's a dollar. 348 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,913 - Romantic dinner. - Gotta go. 349 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,126 You know what Mom really loves? Julienne potatoes. 350 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,555 And for dessert, peach crumble. 351 00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,829 You wanna know how to make a peach crumble? Kick it in the groin. Ha! 352 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,644 Anyway, what's going on? 353 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,031 I'm gonna treat Marge to a romantic dinner... 354 00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,461 ...to make up for all my shortcomings. 355 00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:06,975 Hey, Homer, if you're having a banquet for Marge, I'd like to help. 356 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,404 Hey, me too. I can whip up my famous... 357 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:13,377 ...poulet au vin avec champignons à la Carl. Mwah. 358 00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,015 You can bring a bag of ice. 359 00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,134 Lousy Homer. I'll show him. 360 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:24,107 Tonight, his beloved mock apple pie will have real apples. 361 00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:26,088 Wha...? 362 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:28,966 [GASPS] 363 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:34,127 Oh, my God. It's so beautiful. 364 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,484 Hey, look, everybody, Marge is here. 365 00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:38,798 [ALL CHEERING] 366 00:17:39,268 --> 00:17:40,435 Oh, Homie. 367 00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:43,741 You got everyone in Springfield here for me. 368 00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,359 Honey, I couldn't keep them away if I tried, except for Flanders. 369 00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,800 He was mysteriously called out of town. 370 00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,906 [CHUCKLES] 371 00:17:57,286 --> 00:18:00,320 I got your letter. I'm coming as fast as I can. 372 00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,749 Tonight, we're here to serve you. 373 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,284 Sit back and enjoy the finest foods Springfield has to offer. 374 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,964 I brought you me finest catch of the day. 375 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,632 We lost a dozen good men. 376 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:13,354 But it's worth it just to see ye smile. 377 00:18:13,886 --> 00:18:15,418 Wow! 378 00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:17,723 That's it, eh? 379 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,308 Twelve men. 380 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,467 Well, I've got some families to inform. 381 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,731 - Unbelievable... - What? 382 00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:28,838 Nothing. Just a curse on your very soul. 383 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,258 Marge, I bring you the main course. 384 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,116 Elektra recording artist- slash-political activist... 385 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:37,764 ...Jackson Browne. 386 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,912 Oh, the Pretender. 387 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:43,592 When Homer told me about this special night, I just had to be a part of it. 388 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,366 I'm here to serenade you with a song. 389 00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:48,191 ALL: Yay! 390 00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:49,463 From my latest album. 391 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,745 SKINNER: Oh, no. ALL: Oh. 392 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,654 Just kidding. Here's one of my many classics. 393 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,084 That I fixed with new words. 394 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,232 [PLAYING PIANO] 395 00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:01,735 [SINGING] You hooked up in high school 396 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,207 Now you've come so far 397 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:12,382 Then you started to hate him And hit him with your car 398 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:19,076 So I threw you a fancy banquet 399 00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:22,788 And now you can't stay mad 400 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,010 How about a make-up snuggle? 401 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,648 It would be so rad 402 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,651 Oh, I'm really touched by how much you care. 403 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,715 I love you too. 404 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,364 So, uh, you don't wanna kill me anymore? 405 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,596 - Only with kisses. - Oh. 406 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,275 Oh, don't be a wuss. 407 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,433 JACKSON [SINGING]: When you turn out the light 408 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:47,260 I've got to hand it to me 409 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:53,589 It looks like it's me and you again tonight Marjorie 410 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:57,792 [CROWD CHATTERING] 411 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,127 [BAND PLAYING SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] 412 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:01,493 [HOMER CLEARS THROAT] 413 00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:04,903 Now I'd like to propose a toast to a woman who's done so much for us... 414 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:08,907 - ...without getting anything in return. - Except a place to live and free food. 415 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:10,460 Why, you little... 416 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:11,743 [BOTH GRUNT] 417 00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,808 Now let's all raise our wine boxes... 418 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,382 [BOTH GRUNT] 419 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,551 ...to Marge. 420 00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:20,272 ALL: Hear, hear! To Marge! 421 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:31,325 Unh, I'm so full, my control-top panel is in shards. 422 00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:33,004 [SIGHS] 423 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,496 I wanna thank you all so much. 424 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:39,385 You're welcome. And now, Marge, we cooked, you clean. 425 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,575 - What? - Ha, ha, only teasing. 426 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:46,903 We've flown in the finest busboys from France... Uh, I mean, America. 427 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:50,678 [ALL SPEAKING IN FRENCH THEN LAUGHING] 428 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:56,350 And now to all my dear friends, I say, get the hell out of my yard. 429 00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,895 [CROWD GRUNTING AND CHATTERING] 430 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,238 WOMAN: Shh. 431 00:21:56,692 --> 00:21:57,568 [English - US -SDH] 32215

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