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CHORUS [SINGS]:
The Simpsons
2
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The Strong Arms of the Ma
3
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[BELL RINGING]
4
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[WHISTLE BLOWING]
5
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[BEEPING]
6
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[LISA PLAYS SOLO]
7
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D'oh! Ah!
8
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Hello, I'm Kent Brockman,
and this is Eye on Springfield.
9
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[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
10
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I'm here
with actor Rainier Wolfcastle...
11
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...who surprisingly
has filed for bankruptcy.
12
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Rainier, what went wrong?
13
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Three divorces in three months.
14
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What can I say, Kent? I'm a romantic.
15
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,690
But this personal tragedy...
16
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,818
...translates into a good
old-fashioned bankruptcy sale.
17
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:54,615
Yeah. Everything must go.
Even the painting of my nana.
18
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,274
This was done on her wedding day.
19
00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,339
Or should I say "deading" day?
20
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,664
How the mighty have fallen...
21
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,313
...into my price range.
I wanna go there.
22
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- Dad, we are there.
- Woo-hoo!
23
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,582
Oh, Rainier, I really don't think it's right
to sell these Playdude centerfolds.
24
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,689
[CHUCKLES]
25
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,993
Zip it, Holy Joe.
26
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,872
- Are you taking us to another mansion?
- Uh, yeah.
27
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:24,645
Uh, Miss September...
28
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,210
- ...you're gonna have to get in the trunk.
WOMAN: Oh.
29
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,140
Whoa, a sword cane.
30
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Everything here is sword.
31
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Sword baseball bat, sword rifle,
sword pineapple...
32
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...sword sword sharpener, sword pie.
It's...
33
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,642
Hey, what happened to the sword pie?
34
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What do I do now?
35
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,397
Hey, look, a cyborg hand.
36
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,035
This could really come in useful.
37
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Well, well,
look who's gone Hollywood.
38
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Oh! Eh, mm, eh.
39
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,646
Do you need some assistance...
40
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,138
...picking over the tattered remains
of my life?
41
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:01,765
Nope, I'm good.
42
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,965
Hey, your early porno movies.
43
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Oh, wait, are any of these hetero?
44
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What's there is there.
45
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You got any junk that will go up in value
after you die?
46
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Right this way.
47
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My first weight set.
48
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[GASPS]
49
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The weights that changed you
from a Bavarian cream puff...
50
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,379
...to a mass of twitching muscles?
51
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:23,735
[CHUCKLES]
52
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,904
They know
you are talking about them.
53
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,583
I'll take it.
54
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,919
Who's up for coconut oil?
55
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,717
There's no way this junk
is gonna fit in that car.
56
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,343
Don't worry.
57
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This is what all those hours
of playing Tetris were for.
58
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[TETRIS THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
59
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No.
60
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,400
- Huh. Perfect.
- But there's no room for you.
61
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:04,859
D'oh!
62
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:10,198
- Do you think you could give me a lift?
- Sure. I'll carry you in this giant Snugli.
63
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:14,880
I used it to carry Rob Schneider
in the movie My Baby is an Ugly Man.
64
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,652
Hmm? Ooh!
65
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[GRUNTS]
66
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,165
[HOMER SIGHS]
67
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:22,294
Your heartbeat is so soothing.
68
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:26,402
Shh. Time for sleep, little fatso.
69
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,084
Oh!
70
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,326
Ew! Mom,
I think Maggie fudged her Huggies.
71
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,151
Bart, don't say it like that.
72
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,434
You'll hurt her feelings.
73
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,685
[SNIFFS]
74
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,000
Jeez, Louise.
75
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,201
How did you turn cinnamon applesauce
into that?
76
00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,726
Don't try to pin this on me, sister.
77
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,282
MARGE:
Sorry, emergency.
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00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,253
[GRUNTS]
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00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,681
Hello, Mrs. Homer.
80
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,402
Apu, where's your bathroom?
81
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,655
The bathroom is not for customers.
Please use the crack house.
82
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:05,670
[SNIFFS]
83
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:09,163
Aah! That is the most pungent thing
I've ever smelled and I am from India.
84
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,187
All right, all right,
but speak of this to no one.
85
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,393
Don't worry. That sign is just a ruse,
like all high voltage signs.
86
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:21,978
[MARGE GROANS]
87
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,922
There's a happy baby. Aren't you?
88
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,361
[GIGGLES]
89
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Aren't you?
90
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,614
MAN:
Give me your purse.
91
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,805
- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
- Shut up.
92
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,504
[GASPS]
93
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,226
- It's not a purse. It's a diaper bag.
- What?
94
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,655
It looks like a purse,
that's why I bought it.
95
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,115
- But it's really a...
- Shut up!
96
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,596
[GASPS]
97
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:46,878
Fine. I'll just take this.
98
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,129
[MAN GRUNTS]
99
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,600
[MARGE GASPS]
100
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,497
Come on, Mom, let's go.
101
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,801
Mom, are you okay?
102
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,522
[CRYING]
103
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,266
It's all my fault my wife got mugged.
104
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,654
There you have it, boys. Case closed.
105
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,021
Look,
this really made me feel vulnerable.
106
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,763
I wanna know how soon you think
you'll catch this guy.
107
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,329
Don't worry, Marge, I swear to you
I'll put my best man on it.
108
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:22,872
LOU & EDDIE:
Hmm?
109
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,530
Oh, boy, is this awkward.
110
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,671
Wait, Marge. I don't want you
to leave the house without this.
111
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,871
Emergency whistle, pepper spray...
112
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,874
...and this map of the most vulnerable
parts of a man's body.
113
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,866
Why is it Ned Flanders?
114
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,234
Oh, like, I'm gonna kick Chief Wiggum
in the groin.
115
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,738
Okay, Marge, you can do this.
116
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,022
You've done it
a thousand times before.
117
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,024
- Hi, Mrs. Simpson.
- Aah!
118
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,431
[COUGHING]
119
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,757
Oh, no. I pepper-sprayed Ralph.
120
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,385
[WHIMPERING]
Even my boogers are spicy.
121
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,929
Sorry.
122
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:00,785
Let's go home.
123
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,913
There's nothing dangerous there
except for the electrical wiring.
124
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,415
[TIRES SQUEALING]
125
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,281
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
126
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,137
Mom, you didn't get the milk.
127
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,640
And you parked
on top of the mailman.
128
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,715
It's okay. All part of the job.
129
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,374
Can you believe
I get paid to wear short pants?
130
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:20,555
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll come right out and help you.
131
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,380
[GRUNTS]
132
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,418
I gave your necklace
to my cheap girlfriend.
133
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,150
I just throw it in a drawer at night.
134
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,746
[CACKLES]
135
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,468
No, it'll tangle!
136
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,865
[GRUNTS]
137
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,299
Sorry, I can't go outside.
I'll call for help.
138
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,791
No hurry, I got plenty to read.
139
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,345
Ooh, Twilight Zone Magazine. It...
140
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:53,630
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, no, my glasses are broken.
141
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,465
[TWILIGHTZONETHEME MUSIC PLAYING]
142
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,929
Marge, I'm afraid
you've developed agoraphobia:
143
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,868
A fear of leaving the home.
144
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,287
I recommend
watching this Lifetime Channel movie.
145
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,520
It's called
The Woman Who Died in Her Home.
146
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,835
[LAUGHS]
147
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,305
Oh, my God.
148
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,192
Isn't there anything I can do?
149
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:18,092
Marge, I suggest you slowly desensitize
yourself to the fear of going outside.
150
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:22,377
Create controlled situations where you
can leave without pain or panic.
151
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,651
What if I can't feel comfortable
outside again?
152
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,634
- I hope you like throwing dinner parties.
- I do.
153
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,845
No one wants to eat dinner
at a crazy lady's house. Get real.
154
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:36,162
Don't worry, Mom. This first time
we'll only take a few steps outside.
155
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:37,799
[SIGHS]
156
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:41,104
All right, just to the mailbox and back.
157
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,903
Now, Dr. Hibbert said
to use a number from one to 10...
158
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,207
...to describe how anxious you are.
159
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,575
Two, three, two...
160
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,285
Don't worry. Everything is fine.
161
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:56,568
[BEES BUZZING]
162
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:58,038
- What the hell is that?
- Eight.
163
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,384
- Dad, it's just a bug.
- Two...
164
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,741
Not just a bug.
It's the queen of something.
165
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,327
Ten, 10, 10.
166
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:08,215
Don't worry. I'll set fire to the hive.
167
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,751
Twelve. Fifteen.
Seven hundred and three.
168
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,398
Run!
169
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,593
Oh, my goodness.
It looks just like the Kwik-E-Mart.
170
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,908
Yup, but you're still safe at home.
171
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,816
After a few practice trips here...
172
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,245
...the real Kwik-E-Mart
will be a piece of cake.
173
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,560
- Now, Bart will play Apu.
- Mm-hm.
174
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,604
I'm a magazine rack.
175
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,993
Look, I'm the first to admit it.
I don't write good parts for women.
176
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,786
I'm a robber.
177
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,110
[GRUNTS]
178
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:43,041
- Aah! Help!
- All this does is shoot bubbles.
179
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,658
[SCREAMS]
180
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,315
Silly String!
181
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,673
Kids, I'll find your mother. Dad,
we're canceling the rest of the play.
182
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:53,041
What play?
What the hell is he talking about?
183
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,381
- Marge?
- I'm gonna sleep down here tonight.
184
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,105
Listen, kids. Your mom
is going to be living in the basement.
185
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:08,108
But with our love,
she'll get better soon.
186
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,840
- [AS APU] What if she doesn't?
- We'll have to smoke her out.
187
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:16,992
And may the peace of God be with you.
Amen.
188
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,755
MARGE [OVER RADIO]:
Amen. Over.
189
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,477
Breaker, Bartman to shut-in.
The big guy's asleep.
190
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:23,863
Please advise. Over.
191
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,782
MARGE:
Whack him with the hymnal. Over.
192
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,742
- I roger that big time.
- D'oh!
193
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:32,487
HOMER [OVER RADIO]: Why, you little...
Oh, ha, ha, hi, Jesus. I was just...
194
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,947
[HOMER CHOMPING]
195
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,555
Wow, honey,
eating dinner downstairs is great.
196
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,005
Isn't it, kids?
197
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:44,050
The air hockey table
makes passing the carrots a breeze.
198
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,929
Bart, eat your spinach, unh.
199
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,222
No way, unh.
200
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,473
Yes way.
201
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,100
[BOTH GRUNTING]
202
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,435
[CHUCKLES]
203
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,041
Stop it, please. I'm trying to eat.
204
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:59,430
And all those feet going by the window
are really creeping me out.
205
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,349
It's like we're at Cheers.
206
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,539
I loved that show
because you always knew...
207
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,251
...it was only a half-hour till Wings.
Then you could just sleep till Monday.
208
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:09,795
[IN UNISON]
Bye, Mom.
209
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,287
MARGE: I'm sending the cat up
with your lunches.
210
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,258
[MEOWING]
211
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,403
Goodbye, kids.
212
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,675
[SIGHS]
213
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,145
What to do now?
214
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,054
Too crazy to go outside.
215
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:32,046
Not crazy enough
to have imaginary friends.
216
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,111
Why did Homer buy those?
217
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,572
No one's ever gonna use them.
218
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:38,866
Hmm.
219
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:40,669
[GRUNTING]
220
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:45,278
MAN [ON TV]:
Three, four and five eggs.
221
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,760
Ladies, feel that burn.
222
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,294
If you don't, the oven's not on.
223
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:56,769
Ten, 11, 12.
224
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,823
[SIGHS]
225
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:02,181
I can bench twice as much
as when I started.
226
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,152
And look at my abs.
227
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:06,998
BOTH:
Mom.
228
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,228
[BARKING]
229
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,314
I'm married to Joey Heatherton.
230
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:16,028
Ooh, you know what would zest up
this hollandaise? A lemon.
231
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:18,770
- Dad, do you plan to get in shape?
- No.
232
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:21,836
- Actually, I'm gonna eat twice as much.
- Excellent.
233
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,370
Uh, guys, Mom just left the basement.
234
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,091
[GASPS]
235
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,541
[GASPS]
236
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:30,751
She's in the backyard.
237
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:36,110
I got all the way out to the tree
before I realized I'd left the house.
238
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:38,331
[GRUNTS]
239
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:39,635
[GASPS]
240
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,762
I'm stronger than I've ever been.
241
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:44,525
I don't have to go back inside.
242
00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:46,298
I'm not afraid.
243
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,736
- All right, Mom.
- Yay, Mom.
244
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:48,977
- Woo-hoo!
- Woo-hoo!
245
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,396
I'm not afraid.
246
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,722
Ned, I'm not afraid.
247
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,537
Well,
aren't you a super-duper recouper?
248
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:59,999
MARGE:
Grampa, I'm not afraid.
249
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:02,626
Then you're not paying
close enough attention.
250
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:04,660
[GASPS]
251
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,923
- You?
- What you been up to? Living in fear?
252
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:09,414
Not anymore.
253
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:10,801
[BOTH GRUNTING]
254
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:28,068
You've just been Marge-inalized.
255
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,384
[CROWD CHEERING]
256
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,604
Marge, that was amazing.
257
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,845
[POLICE SIREN WAILS]
258
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,576
It's like I'm married to Shaft.
259
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,141
Chief, I think that's the guy
who mugged her.
260
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:42,896
Yeah. She caught her own criminal
unlike the rest of you lazy bones.
261
00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:47,171
You're not gonna find those criminals
looking at your feet, people.
262
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:52,186
[ROCKY THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
263
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,146
[ALL GRUNTING]
264
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:11,508
Marge Simpson? It's Ruth.
Ruth Powers.
265
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,271
Ruth Powers? My old neighbor?
266
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,523
Oh, my goodness. Look at you.
267
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,077
I got this body in prison.
268
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,558
I was Miss Mexican Mafia
three years in a row.
269
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:21,945
Wow.
270
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,347
You know, another 4 inches
on your neck and you'd look pretty hot.
271
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,380
Ever thought of competing?
272
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,392
I don't have those kind of muscles.
273
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,259
Well, you could if you use these.
274
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,073
MARGE:
Steroids?
275
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:36,512
I can't take drugs.
276
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:40,797
I have many anti-drug bumper stickers
I'd be making a liar out of my tailgate.
277
00:14:43,342 --> 00:14:45,761
Steroids aren't drugs.
They occur naturally in the body...
278
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,461
...like sweat or tumors.
279
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,213
But aren't there side effects?
280
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,091
Yes.
Their main side effect is greatness.
281
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:56,459
But if you'd rather be weak
and helpless...
282
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,961
No, no.
283
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:05,968
I feel good with no repercussions.
284
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:07,574
[MARGE HUMMING]
285
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,555
MARGE:
A little of this, a little of that.
286
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:13,768
Bulkanoids for my lats,
Miso-Max for my delts...
287
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:18,377
...and estrogen blockers
for that minty taste.
288
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,214
Whoa!
289
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:23,423
[SCHOOL BUS HORN HONKS]
290
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,290
Hurry up, kids, you'll miss the bus.
291
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,544
BART & LISA:
Wait, Otto, come back!
292
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,442
[GRUNTS]
293
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,528
Not so fast, bus boy.
294
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,874
Man, what am I smoking?
295
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,002
Oh, yeah, pot.
296
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,848
BOTH:
Thanks, Mom.
297
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:43,631
[TIRES SQUEALING]
298
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,602
Bye, kids.
299
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,155
Bye-bye.
300
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,983
Ha, ha, your mom changed.
301
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,614
Hey, hot stuff.
I've got a competition tomorrow.
302
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:01,722
- I could use a good luck snuggle.
- I'd rather talk about our feelings.
303
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,725
I feel that illegal
performance-enhancing drugs...
304
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,612
...are too common these days.
Rebuttal?
305
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:07,885
[BOTH GRUNT]
306
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,574
Let's do it.
307
00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,837
Uh, listen, my bulky flower...
308
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,799
- ...I have an early day tomorrow...
- I wasn't asking.
309
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,072
[WHIMPERING]
310
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,285
Kids, I made your lunches.
They're on the table.
311
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:28,092
Huh?
Why didn't mom make our lunch?
312
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,001
Your mom has a lot of stuff to shave.
313
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:34,974
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
314
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:41,335
ANNOUNCER: Now, let's meet the ladies
who our doctors assure us are women.
315
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:45,923
The iron maidens.
316
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,384
Ay caramba. I'm off women forever.
317
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,432
[GRUNTS]
318
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,622
Support the arts.
319
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,510
MAN 1:
Yeah, that's rad, that's rad, yeah.
320
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:04,212
This is the cheapest vacation
you've ever taken me on.
321
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,204
[SINGING]
The man who shot Liberty Valance
322
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,926
He shot Liberty Valance
323
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:13,523
He was the bravest of them all
324
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:15,108
Nice lady.
325
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:19,258
In second place, Marge Simpson.
326
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,051
MAN 2:
All right. Yeah. Yeah!
327
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:22,511
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
328
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,159
Second place?
329
00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:26,630
Oh, man, this will just encourage her.
330
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,435
I'm tired
of her criticizing my saggy glutes.
331
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,678
Quiet. Her muscular ears can hear us.
332
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:37,026
[GROANS]
333
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:43,094
So then I popped my delts, clench
and bam! Not a dry eye in the house.
334
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,023
I'm so proud of you, honey.
335
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:47,515
You bulked up
but managed to keep your femininity.
336
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,893
And that's why I didn't win.
337
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:51,415
Sorry, sir. Sorry.
338
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,085
Starting tomorrow,
I'm gonna up my glyco load...
339
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,921
- ...use a denser ripping gel...
- Denser?
340
00:17:57,452 --> 00:18:01,039
Damn straight. I didn't sacrifice
my period for second place.
341
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:03,166
[CHUCKLES]
342
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,741
I hear that.
343
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:09,412
Uh, listen, Marge...
Um, how can I put this delicately?
344
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:13,177
I don't got enough booze in this place
to make you look good.
345
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,752
[GROANS]
346
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,068
- Maybe death will stop your yammering.
- Marge, easy.
347
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,778
Ah! Oh!
348
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,425
[CROWD GROANS]
349
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,709
LENNY:
Everyone pile on Homer's wife.
350
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,378
[ALL GRUNTING]
351
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,205
["LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
352
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:32,560
Huh? Huh? Huh?
353
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,656
[ALL GRUNTING]
354
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,377
["AT LAST" PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
355
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,097
["RELAX" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
356
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,369
[MUSIC STOPS]
357
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,925
DISCO STU: Disco Stu
should have disco ducked. Ow.
358
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,803
[WHISTLES]
359
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:52,893
[ALL GRUNTING]
360
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,573
[ALL GROANING]
361
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,647
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
362
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,903
Marge.
363
00:19:16,532 --> 00:19:20,963
Somewhere in that sea of bull hormones
is the sweet, wonderful girl I married.
364
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:23,945
The woman
who instead of swatting a fly...
365
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,427
...will give it a bath
and send it on its way.
366
00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:29,920
I'd sure like to go home
and have Jiffy Pop with her.
367
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:35,206
Oh, my gosh. You're right.
368
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:39,607
Steroids have turned me
into everything I hate.
369
00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,723
Let's go home, sweetie.
370
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,496
Club soda will get that blood out.
371
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:44,914
[MAN GROANS]
372
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,679
Well, there's only one way
to recoup my losses.
373
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,594
Whoa, Moe, wait a minute.
Don't you have to buy insurance first?
374
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,065
Oh, crap.
375
00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:05,414
[GASPS]
376
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:07,749
[GRUNTS]
377
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:12,337
You know,
I really do miss being a lady.
378
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:15,486
And I miss being your knight
in flabby armor.
379
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,833
Oh, Homie.
380
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,432
[CHUCKLES]
381
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,511
HOMER:
Ready for a real workout, Marge?
382
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:30,929
MARGE:
Mm-hm.
383
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,399
HOMER:
Good. Can you wax the car?
384
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,152
Ow. Ow. Ow. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
385
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,221
WOMAN:
Shh.
386
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:29,122
[English - US -SDH]
27686
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