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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,672 CHORUS [SINGS]: The Simpsons 2 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,382 Helter Shelter 3 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,709 [BELL RINGING] 4 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,557 D'oh! Ah! 5 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,949 [SQUEAKS] 6 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,890 [WHISTLES] 7 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,381 [YELLS] 8 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,499 [WHISTLING AND GROANING] 9 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,702 Oh, this doesn't look good, sir. This man could sue us. 10 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,861 Yes. If he's smart, he'll hold out for millions. 11 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,771 Whoo-hoo! I got skybox tickets. 12 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:55,118 And with only 20 percent loss of my brain function. 13 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,630 Life is... 14 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,132 [MUMBLES] 15 00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,969 ["CHARGE!" PLAYING ON ORGAN] 16 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,380 Can't beat a skybox. All the excitement... 17 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,822 ...of being in the sky with the security of being in a box. 18 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,763 Oh, this is gonna be the coolest basketball game ever. 19 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,339 Actually, it says here we're gonna see hockey. 20 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:19,924 [IN UNISON] No! 21 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,968 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 22 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,735 - Would you care for some cologne? - You have anything... 23 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,884 - ...with ground-up whale in it? - But of course. 24 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,293 Hey, don't we regular fans get anything? 25 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,045 [BOTH GRUNT] 26 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,193 Hey, do we tip these guys, or what? 27 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,460 Wow, it's so fancy. 28 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,879 It's like Moby's house on Cribs. 29 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,266 Paint your portrait, sir? 30 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,330 Can you paint me knocking out Larry Holmes? 31 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,134 Certainly. 32 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,388 Don't hit my face. 33 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:01,079 - Okay, where do you want it? - I don't know. Work the stomach. 34 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,395 Mm. That takes me back. 35 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:10,651 Check out those non-skybox losers watching hockey without sushi. 36 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,029 If you can call that hockey. 37 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,886 Hey, Homer's looking down his nose at us. 38 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:19,243 Let's take Mr. Figgy Pudding down a peg. 39 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,153 Otto, what are you waiting for? Get your ass on my neck. 40 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:23,852 [OTTO GRUNTS] 41 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,980 I'm getting close. I smell vinaigrette. 42 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,774 [GRUNTING] 43 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,016 Heads up, Dad. Here comes the scum. 44 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,392 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 45 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,666 Why can't they just be happy for my success? 46 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,773 [BARNEY, MOE AND OTTO YELL] 47 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,892 - Hot fudge! - Arr, it burns! 48 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:47,334 Oh, great. And I just got all that gum out of my armpits. 49 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,951 [PLAYERS GRUNTING] 50 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,062 [CROWD CHEERS] 51 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,774 All right. A people tooth. 52 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:04,403 Gummy Sue, this is your lucky day. There. 53 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,001 Now I is like Britney Spears. 54 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,110 [GOAL SIREN BUZZES] 55 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,319 PLAYER: Yeah! 56 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,722 [GROANS] 57 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,171 This is a joke. 58 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:26,123 You'll find me down with the real fans standing ankle-deep in beer and blood. 59 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,657 Fine. Watch your stupid Eagles concert. 60 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,357 - It's a hockey game. - Whatever. 61 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:33,995 [CROWD CHEERS] 62 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,664 Hey, Kozlov! 63 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:36,998 Aim for the five hole. 64 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,021 He's got an opening the size of Red Square. 65 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,336 [GRUNTS] 66 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:42,796 [GOAL SIREN BUZZES] 67 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,235 [CROWD CHEERING] 68 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,706 Thank you, mouthy American child. 69 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,855 Please to take my hockey tree. 70 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,368 Hmm. 71 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,057 Come on, Lisa. It's time to go. 72 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,684 But the game's not even over. 73 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,561 They've already told the skybox fans who's gonna win. 74 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,762 LISA: Huh? 75 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,827 Yeah! Go, Ice-O-Topes! 76 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,248 This sucks. 77 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,667 How come Lisa gets something and I don't? 78 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:14,869 Because she took the trouble to wander away and talk to a stranger. 79 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,477 Your sister getting something nice doesn't hurt you in any way. 80 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,568 HOMER: Hmm. Better add some more nails. 81 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,476 Perfect. 82 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,064 [YAWNS] 83 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,101 Well, cock-a-diddily-doo. 84 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,729 What a Marge-alicious way to start my Flander-rific day. 85 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,252 Wha...? 86 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,694 Hey, Ma, our crap shack's going to hell. 87 00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:00,853 Bart, watch your potty mouth. 88 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,773 Hey! Get out! I'm in here! 89 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,733 Oh. 90 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,142 I think we might have termites. 91 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,137 [SQUEAKS] 92 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,024 These are no ordinary termites. 93 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,038 What you've got here are Russian No-wood-niks. 94 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,821 Can you save our house? 95 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:24,157 Okay. But in order to kill these bugs, I've got to live like a bug... 96 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,431 ...think like a bug, become a bug. 97 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:33,135 Ugh. Why do you always hire the cheapest guy? 98 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,545 I go by how funny the sign is. 99 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,773 Sweet. A circus. 100 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,827 Let's sneak in. 101 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:49,547 That's using your noodle. 102 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,384 [JIMBO AND DOLPH LAUGHING] 103 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,865 [THUDDING] 104 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,505 [KEARNEY, JIMBO AND DOLPH HUMMING CIRCUS MUSIC] 105 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,832 So when can we go back in our house? 106 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,677 Not for a while, I'm afraid. 107 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,314 I had to use the good poison. 108 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,931 It comes with James Coburn's picture on the bottle. 109 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,684 This place won't be inhabitable for another six months. 110 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,030 - But where will we live? - Don't worry. 111 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,430 We'll just hang out in front of the house beside these garbage cans. 112 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,869 The time will just fly by. 113 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:23,123 ["KING OF THE HILL" THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 114 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,149 Uh, that was boring. Let's get a hotel. 115 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,029 Don't you have any rooms? 116 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,667 We can't live in our house for six months. 117 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,284 Sorry, folks. Every hotel room in town is booked. 118 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,943 Stupid bran producers convention. 119 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,664 I'm just gonna say it. 120 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,635 We haven't had a good idea since Raisin Bran. 121 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,669 MAN 1: What? MAN 2: Heresy. 122 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,765 - Let him speak! - No! He's crazy! 123 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,673 Why don't we stay at a youth hostel? 124 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,832 I do not want another lecture from a German backpacker... 125 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,846 ...about how we don't appreciate the National Park System. 126 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:13,673 I know. We'll stay with my very best friend in the world. Lenny. 127 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,936 [BUZZES] 128 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:17,938 Hey, Simpsons. 129 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,585 That's Lenny? 130 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,952 Oh, I wanted the black one. 131 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,496 Wow, Lenny. 132 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:24,152 Your apartment is stunning. 133 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,831 Your apartment is stunning. 134 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,000 So how do you afford such a sweet pad? 135 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,877 [RUMBLING] 136 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,703 - What the hell was that? - Oh, I share a common wall... 137 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,454 ...with a jai alai court. 138 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,029 [SIMPSONS YELL] 139 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,084 Ha-ha-ha. That's the sound of the pelota hitting the fronton. 140 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,721 I find it soothing. 141 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,944 [SIGHS] 142 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,877 - Thanks for letting us stay with you. - Oh, it is such an honor... 143 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,839 ...to host our favorite family. And you came at an exciting time. 144 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,822 I'm chairing a meeting of the Galactic U.N. 145 00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:02,347 My apologies. The paint is still wet on Ambassador Farfoon. 146 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,705 We are not staying at Moe's. 147 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:11,074 Maggie's already drunk on the fumes. And she's a mean drunk. 148 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,566 [BART WHIMPERS] 149 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,476 Come on, guys. You gotta stay. Tonight's the big cockfight. 150 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:17,988 We can eat the loser. 151 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,125 Pfft. Who wants to eat a loser? 152 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,409 Dad, we have to find a place soon. 153 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,474 I really have to go to the bathroom, and I'm out of tokens. 154 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:29,562 I heard of a new reality show where they let you live in a home for free. 155 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,971 Oh, yeah. The gimmick is it's a house from 1895. 156 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,526 You gotta do everything like they did back then. 157 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,403 1895? Forget it. 158 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,594 We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy. 159 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,899 - You could save McKinley. - It's not a time machine, Moe. 160 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:46,422 HOMER: Marge, I'm still not sure about this. 161 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,768 MARGE: Hey, if TV can give Mike O'Malley a home... 162 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,354 ...it can give us one. 163 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,149 Welcome to the Reality Channel. 164 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,757 I'm Mitch Hartwell, creator of The 1895 Challenge. 165 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,969 And by creator, I mean I saw it on Dutch television and tweaked the title. 166 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,431 This family looks pretty interesting. 167 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,579 But isn't the dad Bill Cosby? 168 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,384 You see, I gotta get back on the TV... 169 00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:14,252 ...because with The Osbournes and the soft-core porns... 170 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,933 ...and the dogs pooping and nobody scooping and the: 171 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,383 [MUMBLES] 172 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,856 We need a family that hasn't been on TV forever. 173 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,524 Let's try the Simpsons. 174 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,695 I like what I'm seeing in there. 175 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,554 Argh! I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath! 176 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,702 They go to pieces over nothing. 177 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,090 They're perfect for reality TV. 178 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,051 Where's that kid with my latte? 179 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:43,448 [GASPS] 180 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,503 He's not coming, is he? 181 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:47,963 Is he? 182 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,121 [CRYING] 183 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,993 Welcome to your home for the next six months. 184 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,078 Oh, man. I can't wear this. 185 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,976 I look like Buster Brown. 186 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,373 Whoever that is. 187 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,470 Oh, you look adorable, Lisa. 188 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:10,308 Your school chums are going to be so jealous of your little outfit. 189 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,562 God, I wish I had that little outfit. 190 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:18,108 Yeah. Those golden curls are to die for. 191 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,318 [FLOORBOARDS SQUEAKING] 192 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:24,270 Wow, they had an Army helmet under every bed? 193 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,930 Uh, Mr. Simpson, that's a chamber pot. 194 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,984 You're supposed to go to the bathroom in it. 195 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,882 Befoul an Army helmet? 196 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,530 You'd like that, wouldn't you, hippie? 197 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:37,095 Behind this door, you'll find the one piece... 198 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,900 ...of 21st century technology in the whole house. 199 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:43,143 Ooh, please be a melon baller. Please be a melon baller. 200 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,939 This is your video confessional. 201 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,556 You come in here to express your deepest feelings... 202 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,964 ...and darkest secrets. 203 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:55,040 Uh, ha, ha. My hair isn't really blue. 204 00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:57,407 [GASPS] 205 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:58,721 I need that tape! 206 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,340 Good morning, ladies. 207 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:04,988 What's so good about it? 208 00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,815 It takes six hours to make breakfast now. 209 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:12,214 You should see how much trouble Dad's having shaving with a straight razor. 210 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,414 [WHISTLING] 211 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:18,168 Finally. I'm no longer a slave to the Gillette corporation. 212 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,653 Why, it says here that President Cleveland has... 213 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,209 [GROANS] 214 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:33,881 Okay, more coal. Less coal. Less, less. More. 215 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:37,208 Less, less, less. 216 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:38,688 And none. 217 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,326 Perfect. 218 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,818 By orders of The Reality Channel I must make sure... 219 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,748 ...that you only buy items available in 1895. 220 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,252 Oreos? Sorry, these are from 1896. 221 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,735 Non-scarring toilet paper. Ha. Dream on. 222 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,717 Urkel-O's. Delicious but forbidden. 223 00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,906 I'll just take these tampons. 224 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,315 I don't believe they had those in 1895. 225 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:04,474 - Yes, they did. Look closer. - Ooh! 226 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,372 Twenty-three skidoo. 227 00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:08,864 You know, it's 6:15. 228 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:12,462 The kids are in bed and Maggie's in her cage. 229 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,539 Maybe I could wuther your heights? 230 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,603 Well, okay. 231 00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:20,199 Blow out that lamp... 232 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,316 ...and I'll take off my Victorian undergarments. 233 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,122 HOMER: All right, let me get that. MARGE: Remember, if you just... 234 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:28,540 [RIPPING] 235 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:29,854 HOMER: Just... That comes off. 236 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:31,084 [CLANKING] 237 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,513 MARGE: That's... No. Up. 238 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,754 [GRINDING] 239 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,954 HOMER: All right. Let's see what we've got here. 240 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,364 Almost done. 241 00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:42,700 This has been the worst week of my life. 242 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,224 I miss my toys, my video games. 243 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,809 "Mutt and Jeff" comics are not funny. 244 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,989 They're gay, I get it. 245 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,313 [KNOCKING] 246 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,075 HOMER: You've been in there over an hour! 247 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,275 Other people have to confess too, you know. 248 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,674 Oh, I can't hold it in. 249 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,248 I hate this house! 250 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,450 Ugh. Bread tastes like clothes. 251 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,306 I'm so cold. 252 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,924 All of you stink so much. 253 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,042 This is great television. 254 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,525 Yeah. I can't wait to see which one of them dies first. 255 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:19,758 Look, we can't give up. We're on TV. And when you're on TV... 256 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,626 ...you dig in your claws and you never let go. 257 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,107 Just like Bill Moyers. 258 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,910 [BEEPING] 259 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,330 Telegram for Haywood U. Cuddlemee. 260 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:40,988 Haywood U. Cuddlemee? 261 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,762 Big guy in the back, Haywood U. Cuddlemee? Hey... Oh. 262 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,494 Ooh, that little... Ooh. 263 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,747 I'm gonna drive a golden spike... 264 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,699 ...where your Union meets your Central Pacific. Stop. 265 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,797 [LAUGHING] 266 00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:20,788 Aw. 267 00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:22,435 Bart, honey, would you like... 268 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,761 - ...some more cod liver oil? - Yes, Mom. 269 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:26,856 [GULPS] 270 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:30,016 I thought I was regular before, but I was wrong. 271 00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:33,113 With all this hard work, I'm too tired to worry about the world. 272 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:34,906 And soon, I will marry... 273 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,231 ...one of father's wealthy business associates. 274 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,599 Oh, I wish you would reconsider the proposal of Hiram Beatwife. 275 00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:43,227 He's betrothed to Martha Takeapunch. 276 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,104 This is boring. 277 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,472 Yeah. Switch it to the Elderly Animal Channel. 278 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,245 [LIONS GROANING] 279 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,727 [GRUNTS] 280 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,711 [GROWLS] 281 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,495 [GROANS] 282 00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,207 The show's getting boring. We're losing viewers. 283 00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:08,690 I have an idea. It's crazy, but it just might work. 284 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,338 Like it did last week on another show. 285 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,384 We bring in the biggest, most famous star from a '70s sitcom... 286 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,835 ...whose phone hasn't been disconnected. 287 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,294 [GASPS] 288 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,640 - Hello. - Squiggy? 289 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,572 Why is the guy from Laverne & Shirley living in our house? 290 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:29,409 Because nobody's watching you clowns. 291 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:33,152 If you was to ask me, you're all too calm and happy. 292 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:36,332 The essence of drama is conflict. 293 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,647 That's why they gave me this Taser. 294 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,004 [HOMER YELLING] 295 00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:44,893 This still isn't working. Fixing this show is gonna take some original thinking. 296 00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:49,491 Everybody, pull out your TVs and start flipping around. 297 00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,984 I think I've got an idea. 298 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:54,590 Turn to channel 24. 299 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,655 ALL: Hmm. 300 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,584 [SNORING] 301 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,151 Hello, Laverne. 302 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:04,767 Hello, Laverne. 303 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,431 Hello, Laverne. 304 00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:18,082 Marge, I'm off to the blacksmith's to get my tooth pulled. 305 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,231 [YELLS] 306 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,744 [GASPING] 307 00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:25,882 Oh. Lisa. Explain. 308 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,354 The network made our show more exciting by dumping the house in a river. 309 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,878 Marge, throw me an old-timey rope in an old-timey way! 310 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,945 This rope was woven from handlebar moustaches. 311 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:39,228 [GRUNTING] 312 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:45,224 You monsters. You turned this show into a Survivor clone. 313 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,873 Mr. Simpson, your contract allows us to do anything we want to you. 314 00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,334 I would never sign that. 315 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,660 Unless there was a red sticker that said sign here. 316 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:56,433 Uh-huh. That's what we used. 317 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,091 Where do you get those things, anyway? 318 00:16:58,477 --> 00:16:59,686 [BANGING] 319 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,523 [LISA AND HOMER YELLING] 320 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,641 [ALL SCREAM] 321 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,167 [ALL WHIMPERING] 322 00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,139 [ALL PANTING] 323 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,416 Oh, no. Everything is ruined. 324 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,108 Our good bellows, our stereopticon. 325 00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,725 Squiggy. 326 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:29,341 [GASPS] 327 00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:30,624 Homer, your strop. 328 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,938 Your strop. 329 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:34,638 [SOBS] 330 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,838 Our lives are ruined. 331 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,342 Oh, yeah. This is great stuff. Let's take lunch, people. 332 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:42,948 - Do we get lunch? - We're not allowed to interfere... 333 00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:44,565 ...with the reality of the show. 334 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:47,057 Which reminds me, burn the leftovers. Leave nothing. 335 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,269 I can't remember the last time I cried like this. 336 00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:54,616 When you put your T-shirt on backwards? 337 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,733 Oh, yes. 338 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,131 The tag chafed my throat. 339 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,072 [CRYING] 340 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,491 Let's go eat some bugs. 341 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,789 Is it just me or are you guys getting sick of crazy adventures? 342 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,739 MAN: Psst. Psst. 343 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:20,288 Savages. I'll handle this, Marge. 344 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:22,853 We come in peace. 345 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:25,272 - We take your land. - We're not savages. 346 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,807 - I'm a paralegal from Cleveland. - And I'm a nutritionist from Santa Fe. 347 00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,769 We were a tribe on another reality show, but we lost the final challenge. 348 00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,636 I just couldn't eat anymore kangaroo testicles. 349 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,691 So the show just abandoned us here. 350 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,985 The weird part is, now I can't get enough of them. 351 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:41,695 But now we're going to escape. 352 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,312 We're gonna overpower your crew and return to civilization. 353 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:48,316 Wow. Marge, I think I figured out their primitive language. 354 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,214 That's my Homie. 355 00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:52,090 [ALL CHOMPING] 356 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,832 Is it so gosh-darn hard... 357 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,480 ...to get cocktail sauce in the middle of the Amazon? 358 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,129 [YELLING] 359 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:16,114 [SCREAMS] 360 00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,555 Now we know what it feels like to be tormented. 361 00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,787 And yet I learn nothing. 362 00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,303 [GRUNTS] 363 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:30,462 And now to wreck their precious helicopter! 364 00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:33,465 No, Homer, no! That's our only way home. 365 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,124 Yes, but... Okay. 366 00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:37,730 [GRUNTING] 367 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,117 Whoa. 368 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,527 That Lenny sure had a crazy apartment. 369 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,227 [CRACKING] 370 00:19:46,812 --> 00:19:49,304 Oh, it sure is good to be home. 371 00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:51,577 No more reality shows for us. 372 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,371 Let's watch some quality, scripted television. 373 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,113 ["LAW & ORDER" THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 374 00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,240 NARRATOR [ON TV]: Law & Order... 375 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:01,660 ...Elevator Inspectors Unit. 376 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,487 Here's the thing, inspector. The button for five doesn't light up. 377 00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:18,229 I think I'm gonna be sick. 378 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:20,053 Oh, that's it. 379 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:24,026 TV was the one good thing in my life and now I can't enjoy it anymore. 380 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:28,604 Hmm. I guess we'll have to find a new way to entertain ourselves. 381 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,230 What about books? 382 00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:32,941 Yeah. If we read books, we could form a club. 383 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,454 If we formed a club, we could serve drinks. 384 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,290 Hey, Dad. Why don't we watch you drink from a hose? 385 00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:39,875 Good idea, Lisa. 386 00:20:41,867 --> 00:20:43,441 Hmm. The water's off. 387 00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:46,027 I'll use my eye to see what the trouble is. 388 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:47,414 [HOMER YELLS] 389 00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:48,624 [LAUGHING] 390 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,083 Hmm. Off again. 391 00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:51,887 Maybe I can hear what's going on. 392 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,576 [YELLS] 393 00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:58,415 So this has become a game of wits, has it? 394 00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:01,167 Perhaps my other eye will get to the bottom of this. 395 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:02,700 [WATER SPLASHES THEN HOMER YELLS] 396 00:21:03,055 --> 00:21:03,962 [BART, LISA AND MARGE LAUGHING] 397 00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,640 WOMAN: Shh. 398 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:52,479 [English - US -SDH] 28907

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