Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:07,048
The Simpsons.
2
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,570
All right, family.
3
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:32,365
Who can guess what's
different about dinner tonight?
4
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,283
Same old garbage.
5
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,329
This guy's always on!
6
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,581
Oh, you two.
7
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,918
We're eating genetically
modified vegetables.
8
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,795
Look how big they are!
9
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,214
This corn doesn't
look so big.
10
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,966
That's baby corn.
11
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,467
What?
12
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,887
American corporations should
stop playing God with nature.
13
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,806
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
14
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,685
They're all grown by the
vegetable division of Union Carbide.
15
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:04,313
Mom, my potato
is eating a carrot!
16
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:11,446
That's it. From now on, I'm
growing all our vegetables myself.
17
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,498
Go away! Go away!
18
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:26,919
What you doing, Mom?
19
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:30,131
I've tried heckling them.
I've tried jeckling them.
20
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:33,342
It's time I made
myself a scarecrow.
21
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,612
Go away! Go away!
22
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:53,798
"...in God,
the Father Almighty.
23
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:54,841
"Creator of
heaven and earth..."
24
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:55,907
Shoo! Shoo!
25
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:03,039
"Heaven and earth..."
Where were we? Now I'm lost.
26
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:13,174
Yeah, I did it!
Marge is in the house!
27
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,760
I will be soon. Because
it needs some cleaning!
28
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,270
I'll regroup
at Red Lobster.
29
00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:39,200
You ain't pretty no more!
30
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:47,208
Look. I've made some
friends. Now, go do my bidding!
31
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,293
Whatever it may be.
32
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,137
So, Lisa says by killing their
enemy I became the alpha crow.
33
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,390
I got to admit.
I'm kind of nervous here.
34
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,017
We haven't seen Barney
since they enveloped him.
35
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:08,604
I'm sure he'll turn up. Look,
here's one of his buttons.
36
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,233
All right, that's it. Get them out
of here! This ain't no crow bar!
37
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:17,780
This is a crow bar! See? They
got the little stools and everything.
38
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,951
That's Russell Crow,
Cameron Crow,
39
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,121
Crow Diddley, Hume
Crow-nyn, Gregory Peck.
40
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,041
Homer, I'm very
uncomfortable having
41
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,377
a gang of crows
in our bedroom.
42
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:36,799
It's a murder, honey. A group
of crows is called a murder.
43
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,218
I'm sleeping
on the couch.
44
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,981
Drop it in! Don't cram it
in! Forget it! I'll do it myself.
45
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,360
Aw, look.
Maggie wants to fly, too.
46
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:02,241
Hey! Cut it out! Put her down!
47
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,004
Thank God you're okay.
48
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:19,508
Okay, that was not cool. We
need to lay down some ground rules.
49
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,970
We'll get to that! Right now, I
think we need some time apart!
50
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,475
All right, that's it!
Shoo, you stupid crows!
51
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,477
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
52
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,942
That is not a worm!
53
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:48,204
Ow! Ow! I hate getting stitches
in my eyes! Stupid crows!
54
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,414
Don't be mad at the crows,
Homer.
55
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,916
They weren't
trying to blind you.
56
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,961
They were just trying to drink
your sweet, sweet eye juices.
57
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,254
Mmm. Fascinating.
Say, Doctor,
58
00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,257
can you do something
about my searing pain?
59
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:04,178
Well, there is a medication.
Although, it's a little controversial.
60
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,471
Does it go in the butt?
61
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,807
I'm talking about
medicinal marijuana.
62
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,476
Prescription pot.
Texas THC.
63
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,478
Look, man,
I don't do drugs!
64
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,731
Homer, for your eyes,
the best tonic is chronic.
65
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,693
You're not afraid,
are you?
66
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,696
I had a bad experience
with drugs.
67
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,092
It was that
golden weekend between
68
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,492
summer school
and regular school.
69
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,661
Hey, Homer, want to
smoke some marijuana?
70
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,413
They say
it's a gateway drug.
71
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,625
Well, well. If it isn't
the Doobie Brothers.
72
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,794
Crotch the weed, man.
73
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,548
Smell any drugs,
Sergeant Scraps?
74
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:54,854
For me, the '60s ended
that day in 1978.
75
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,231
But, Homer, you can't let
a single bad experience
76
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,566
scare you away
from drugs.
77
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,861
But isn't marijuana,
or "dope," illegal?
78
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,030
Only for those
who enjoy it.
79
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,699
Medical use of marijuana
is legal in this state.
80
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,118
We'll also provide you
with a prescription bong.
81
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,997
Do you want the wizard
or the skull?
82
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:16,584
Occasions,
persuasions clutter your mind.
83
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,920
Incense and peppermints,
the color of time.
84
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,217
Okay, let's see.
"Toke as needed.
85
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:29,638
"Caution, objects may appear
more edible than they actually are."
86
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:39,148
Incense, peppermints.
87
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,818
Incense, peppermints.
88
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,031
What's that billowing
down the stairs?
89
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,408
It's smoke!
90
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:53,162
It smells like
the art teacher's office.
91
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:57,625
Smoke on the water
92
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,295
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
93
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,966
Da-da-da-da-da!
94
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,720
They burned down
the gambling house.
95
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,516
It died with an awful sound.
96
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,646
I am hungry for a candy bar
97
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,690
I think I'll eat a Mounds.
98
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,987
Homer!
You're doing drugs!
99
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,450
And now I'm guilty of
possession! I could go to prison
100
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,994
unless I testify
against you.
101
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,331
Marge, it's making my
eyes better. And it's legal.
102
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,291
I could walk up to
the president
103
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,836
and blow smoke in his
stupid, monkey face!
104
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,922
And he'd just have to
sit there grooving on it.
105
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,925
Color sky Havana lake.
106
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,513
Color sky rose carmethene.
107
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:56,559
Alizarian crimson.
108
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,228
Wear your love like heaven.
109
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,313
Wear your love like heaven.
110
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,315
Wear your love like heaven.
111
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,484
Wear your love like heaven.
112
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,070
Wear your love like heaven.
113
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,073
Hello?
114
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,701
Marge, I just realized
115
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:19,248
I am the "ow"
in the word "now."
116
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,458
And if you
tell anyone...
117
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,210
Honey, I like it
when you call.
118
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,921
But we just talked
five minutes ago.
119
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,674
Hang on, I've got
call waiting. Hello?
120
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,510
Hey, it's me. I've got
Marge on the other line
121
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:34,180
and she is totally
bumming me out.
122
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:42,229
Dad, I thought you
didn't like her saxophone.
123
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:45,065
I didn't. But now,
Daddy's special medicine,
124
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:48,485
which you must never use
because it will ruin your life,
125
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:53,699
lets Daddy see and hear magical
things you will never experience.
126
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:55,326
Ever!
127
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,954
Dad, it's 1:00 a.m.
and I'm out of saliva!
128
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,550
Wow. That saxophone
would make a great pipe.
129
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,347
Hi-diddily-hey, Homer!
130
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,431
Oh, my God!
131
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,808
This dude does
the best Flanders!
132
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,144
You got the mustache
and the "diddily!"
133
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,771
Okay, now do Wiggum!
134
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,524
Homer, it's me. Ned.
135
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,486
Right.
The God dude.
136
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,863
Hey,
I got a question for you.
137
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:36,075
"Could Jesus microwave
a burrito so hot
138
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,118
"that he himself
could not eat it?"
139
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,499
Well, sir, of course he
could. But then again,
140
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,960
wow, as melon-scratchers go,
that's a honey-doodle.
141
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,878
Now you know what
I've been going through.
142
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,563
Well, luckily,
I've got a book right here
143
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,507
that's jam-packed
with answers.
144
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,928
Oh, man, this is long.
Could you read it to me?
145
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,556
I guess that
could be arranged.
146
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:04,019
"The grace of the Lord Jesus
be with God's people. The end."
147
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,439
Wow. Wow.
148
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:11,068
God does so much for me and
he doesn't ask anything in return.
149
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,237
Well, I know he's wishing
you'd sign his petition
150
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,614
to re-criminalize
medicinal marijuana.
151
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:17,491
Done and done!
Now do Wiggum!
152
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,703
Well, okay. I guess it
would go something like this.
153
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,914
All right, Simpson,
you're under arrest, see?
154
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,207
I said Wiggum!
155
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:32,006
"And so, potential investors, I hope
you don't think our IPO is an IPU."
156
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,677
Then I hold my nose thusly.
What do you think, Smithers?
157
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,928
Bit of a downer, sir.
158
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,805
Well, I hope
the investors like it.
159
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:43,017
I have to raise $60 million
or we're out of business!
160
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,184
Why is that, sir?
161
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,478
I told you,
I pissed it away!
162
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,564
Don't make that face.
163
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,566
Yes, that's the one.
164
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,902
Smithers, I need someone
who laughs at all my jokes.
165
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,238
You know, honest feedback.
166
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,325
Oops! I thought
this was the can, man.
167
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:03,871
Well, you're a happy Homer.
What's your name, young man?
168
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,581
You just said it!
169
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,669
Well, if you like that,
listen to this.
170
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,880
Working hard or
hardly working?
171
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:19,636
Smithers, you could learn a thing
or two from this braying moron.
172
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:23,265
Young man, I'm making you
my executive vice president.
173
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,769
Sir, I believe that position
was informally promised to me.
174
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:30,564
No, Smithers. I would've said
anything to get your stem cells.
175
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,733
Now, welcome aboard!
176
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,028
You're covered with
a very fine fuzz.
177
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,909
"Hardly working."
178
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,578
Where did you
get that suit?
179
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,790
Whoa, whoa! One
question at a time! Yes, you?
180
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:49,875
Look, I'm really
starting to worry.
181
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,629
There's half-eaten cupcakes
everywhere. We're all out of paper clips.
182
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,006
And the curtains
smell like doob.
183
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,801
Oh, yeah?
Well, I got news for you!
184
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:03,097
I just got promoted, and it's
all thanks to "Yes-I-cannabis!"
185
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,599
We have a kitchen?
186
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,399
Now, where are those three
chandelier-hangers I hired?
187
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:17,653
You mutton heads! This is why
we can never hold down a job.
188
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,993
Look at Shemp.
He is so high!
189
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,831
Hey, "Shemp" is "hemp"
spelled backwards.
190
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,626
And "Otto" is
"Otto" backwards!
191
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,754
Now, I'm scared.
192
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,714
Homie, I don't mean
to nag, but what does
193
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,175
this have to do
with healing your eyes?
194
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,053
As soon as I graduate,
I am so out of here!
195
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:46,223
This just in. The Marijuana
Re-Criminalization Initiative
196
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,059
took another step forward
today as supporters collected
197
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,812
the final signatures required
to place it on the ballot
198
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,522
for next Tuesday's election.
199
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,816
We got to get out and
stop that initiative!
200
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,610
Marge, I'm gonna need
10,000 veggie burritos!
201
00:12:58,695 --> 00:12:59,945
No guac in mine.
202
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,280
Good night, Homer.
203
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,116
Dude, your mom is hot.
204
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,440
Don't encroach on our roach!
Don't encroach on our roach!
205
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:10,831
You've got to run like
an antelope out of control.
206
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,297
Okay, okay.
Hold on. Hold on.
207
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:21,508
I smell marijuana smoke.
208
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,343
That better be medicinal!
209
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:26,221
If Phish don't see a prescription
slip, we are out of here!
210
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,474
We can wait all night,
people.
211
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,683
Here we go.
212
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,063
Whoa!
This guy is seriously ill.
213
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:39,818
My doctor never told me that.
I had to hear it from Phish.
214
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,821
A one, a-two,
a you-know-what-to-do.
215
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,908
Run, run, run, run, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run, run.
216
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:50,370
You've got to run like
an antelope out of control.
217
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:07,179
Thank you. And now, a
man who's a real pothead.
218
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,515
I'm sorry. "Pothead."
219
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,266
Homer Simpson!
220
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,564
Good afternoon. I want to thank
you all for coming down here,
221
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,858
taking time off
from your jobs.
222
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,109
Jobs? What?
Jobs...
223
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,738
Because we need to keep
medical marijuana legal!
224
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,866
Whether you suffer
from glaucoma
225
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,160
or you just
rented The Matrix,
226
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:33,956
medical marijuana can make
things fabulous, medically.
227
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,377
So, my mellow
fellow citizens,
228
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,045
when you go into
that voting booth
229
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,547
on Tuesday,
the seventh...
230
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:45,509
Uh, Homer,
that was yesterday.
231
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:54,601
Oh, man! They already
voted! And we lost!
232
00:14:56,521 --> 00:15:00,274
Oh, man! I can't believe
we spaced on the date!
233
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,608
What are we gonna do?
234
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:02,901
Well,
we can't just stand here
235
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:07,072
staring at our hands,
although... Wow!
236
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,909
That's right!
I married that chick.
237
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,791
They call them fingers,
but I never see them fing.
238
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,293
Oh, there they go.
239
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:25,007
There we go. Dump all that
medical marijuana on there.
240
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,057
Actually, that smoke is
a little too inviting.
241
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,351
Throw on that
sack of barber hair.
242
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:46,111
I could've smoked that pot
and worn that hair.
243
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,780
Homie, you don't
need drugs anymore.
244
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,407
Your eyes are all better.
245
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,784
Eyes? What the hell
are you talking about?
246
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:57,247
I want my old dad back. The one
who was yelling all the time and...
247
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,791
You know, I'm not
really sure what I want.
248
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:03,712
Homer, it's over. I want
you to look at your children
249
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,923
and promise them you
will never do drugs again.
250
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,470
All right,
I'll do it for my kids.
251
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,221
As long as you're
doing things for me,
252
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,408
would you tie
up your bathrobe
253
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,618
when you walk
around the house?
254
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,725
Never!
255
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,898
Yeah, I can still
crash here, right?
256
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,149
Get out.
257
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,068
Remember when I
dropped my keys
258
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,944
and you thought
the phone was ringing?
259
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,446
Yeah.
260
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,115
Get out.
261
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,077
What's the matter, Homer?
You're drunk.
262
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,662
But you're not
like sloppy drunk.
263
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,831
Going cold turkey isn't
as delicious as it sounds.
264
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,834
Look, I'm really glad
you're off the wacky-tobacky.
265
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,629
Yeah. You were getting
all spacey and everything.
266
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,066
We were gonna
have an intervention.
267
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,467
Yeah. But at the planning
party, I got alcohol poisoning.
268
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,135
I nearly died.
269
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,973
I was already making excuses
not to go to your funeral.
270
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,812
It's been three days,
and my mind is clearer.
271
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:04,690
My sperm count is up,
and I'm able to
272
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,109
recognize simple
shapes and patterns.
273
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,861
Dad, you just said that
three minutes ago.
274
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:14,032
Unregardless, I will no
longer be a slave to this!
275
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,034
Why are you
keeping that thing?
276
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,285
As a reminder, Marge.
277
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:20,789
Yello.
278
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,874
Ahoy-hoy, Executive V. P.
279
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,585
I'm putting the final touches
on my speech to the investors.
280
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,629
And I need your
generous guffaws.
281
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,756
But I can't find
you funny anymore.
282
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,968
I'll either tickle your ribs
or feed them to my dogs!
283
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,179
Now, we're ordering out. What
would you like on your pizza pie?
284
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,556
Extra cheese?
285
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,852
What do you take me for?
Lorenzo de' Medici? See you soon.
286
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,979
Don't worry, Homie.
287
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:47,566
You don't need Mary Jane
to laugh at Mr. Burns' jokes.
288
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,192
Just picture him naked.
289
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:53,572
Or... With a funny hat on!
290
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,996
"So, profit margins
will be thinner
291
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,041
"than Louise Brooks'
negligee."
292
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:11,214
You know, Louise Brooks,
the silent star of Lulu.
293
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,800
One of us has
got to start laughing.
294
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:17,512
If Mr. Burns gets flop
sweat, he'll die of dehydration.
295
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,015
I'm drenched with sweat.
296
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,769
I'm going to
take a bathiola.
297
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,730
When I come back,
you'd better be laughing.
298
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,693
This stuff can
make anything funny,
299
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,945
even that show
that follows Friends.
300
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,615
But I promised my family
I wouldn't smoke it anymore.
301
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,408
Well,
I've got to do something.
302
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,243
Start inhaling, Waylon.
303
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,332
This suit used to
belong to Judy Garland.
304
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,251
We could sing a song if you
don't mind being Mickey Rooney.
305
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:51,213
You mean that guy on 60
Minutes who yells all the time?
306
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,883
Sixty minutes? Oh, my God!
Mr. Burns has been in the tub for an hour!
307
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:06,853
Oh, Mr. Burns! You were
too beautiful for this world.
308
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,442
Oh, man. Oh, man.
We killed Mr. Burns!
309
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,694
Mr. Burns is
gonna be so mad!
310
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,822
The investors meeting
is in 20 minutes!
311
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,990
So what?
Mr. Burns is dead!
312
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,660
We can carry on. Michael
Eisner's been dead for five years.
313
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:25,121
Ted Turner's just a hologram.
Now, we got to think.
314
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:29,042
So, when somebody says I was
an embarrassment to the country,
315
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,754
I say, "It depends on what
the meaning of 'was' is, jerk!"
316
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,634
You owe me $200,000.
Good night, everybody!
317
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,932
Bill Clinton, everyone! He's
Jimmy Carter with a Fox attitude!
318
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:49,354
And now, a man you will
see is definitely not dead,
319
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,731
Mr. Montgomery Burns!
320
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:02,033
Mr. Burns, as we're running
long, may we skip your speech
321
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,785
and go directly
to the questions?
322
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,331
Mr. Burns,
a two-part question.
323
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,834
One, when will you
see a profit again?
324
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:14,629
And two, what's that red
stuff coming out of your ear?
325
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,257
Mr. Burns,
may I field that one?
326
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,802
It's true
we're losing money.
327
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:26,641
But there's no reason we can't
dance, dance, dance the night away!
328
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:56,212
Mr. Burns has
left the building!
329
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,131
We are mollified!
330
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,008
We are mollified!
331
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,595
Brilliant.
We lost $60 million
332
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,263
and they're
cheering for more.
333
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:08,433
Mr. Burns,
you're alive!
334
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,478
Yes. I regained consciousness
during my big dance number.
335
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,521
Those strings pulling me
every which way
336
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,231
jostled my heart
from its slumber.
337
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,943
And you wanted to
take him to the hospital!
338
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:21,613
Oh, and you didn't? Well, the
worm has finally shown its fangs!
339
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,531
Smithers,
make me slap him!
340
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,242
You call that a slap?
Make me slap you.
341
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:28,578
Now, both.
342
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,205
Now, just you.
343
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,957
Now, give me a taste.
344
00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:35,001
Now, both again.
345
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,172
Now, all three.
346
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:40,882
Excellent.
347
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,015
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
26726
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
