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1
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:06,881
The Simpsons.
2
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,089
I love Chinatown,
3
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:33,384
although I wish they'd stop
picking on Tibet Town.
4
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,936
Ooh, it must be
Chinese New Year.
5
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,614
People buy them
when they're small and cute.
6
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,138
Then they flush them
down the toilet.
7
00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,411
Uh, yeah. I'll have the
shark butt with butt sauce.
8
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,872
Bart!
Excellent choice, sir.
9
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:09,796
How is the Feast of Twelve
Delights with Triple Happiness Sauce?
10
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,631
Very disappointing.
11
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,342
Then I'll have the
sweet and sour rice.
12
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,885
Oh, very good.
13
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,388
Would you like that with the
fragrant bee bellies or the cat noses?
14
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,057
Neither, thank you.
15
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:22,809
Is there any way
we can enhance
16
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,561
your dining experience
by hurting an animal?
17
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,687
No!
18
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,525
Fortune cookies!
19
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:36,364
And now to read my fortune.
"Geese can be troublesome."
20
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,158
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
21
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:42,870
Oh. Fortune means
geese cause problems.
22
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:46,040
Well, I knew that
before I came in here.
23
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,251
A guy outside told me that.
24
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,420
"Every house
has a bathroom."
25
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,840
Oh, these fortunes
are terrible.
26
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,299
Is there a problem?
27
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,176
These fortunes
are terrible.
28
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,470
They're supposed to
predict stuff
29
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,931
and ease you through
times of doubt and sickness.
30
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,016
Well,
with all due respect, sir,
31
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,686
I suppose you could
come up with better fortune?
32
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,563
Easy.
33
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,231
Well?
34
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,150
"You will be aroused
by a shampoo commercial."
35
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:16,195
That's not bad.
Come with me.
36
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,999
It's terrible!
What am I doing here?
37
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:31,335
I should be in New York
writing riddles on Popsicle sticks!
38
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,296
Then I'd be
making a difference.
39
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,339
They ruined my best fortune.
40
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,800
I wrote, "Let a frown
be your umbrella."
41
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,385
They change it to "smile."
42
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,305
A frown is a much better
umbrella than a smile!
43
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,268
This gentleman here
can write better fortunes
44
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,353
than all of you
put together.
45
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,647
Show them.
Okay, let's see...
46
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,484
"The price of stamps
will climb ever higher."
47
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,486
Very profound.
48
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,406
He's like a young me!
49
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,159
Please! Yung Mee was a
hack compared to this guy!
50
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,452
You're hired.
51
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:07,830
Let's see. "You will invent
a humorous toilet lid."
52
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,833
"You will find true
love on Flag Day."
53
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,419
"Your store is
being robbed, Apu."
54
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,338
Are you getting
all this, Lisa?
55
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,799
I don't know.
56
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,095
"You are a real winner."
57
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:27,308
That fortune really nailed
me, and my winning ways.
58
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:35,107
"You will take a short sea
voyage." Yarr! I'll enjoy that.
59
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,990
$14 and 10, 11, 12 cents.
There you go.
60
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,159
You know, sir,
tipping is customary.
61
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,703
Ooh! Me sorry!
Me no speaky Chiny!
62
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,833
General Gao,
you're a bloodthirsty fool,
63
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,044
but your chicken
is delectable.
64
00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:01,300
This cookie feels heavy, as
if there's some paper inside.
65
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:05,972
Nice job, sir.
66
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,348
That was my thumb.
67
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,310
There seems to be
some sort of communiqué!
68
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,478
It's your fortune, sir.
69
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,646
Capital!
70
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:18,401
"You will find true love on Flag
Day." Why, it's Flag Day today.
71
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,654
True love at last!
72
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,156
Well, it's just
you and me here, sir.
73
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,783
No time for jokes,
Smithers.
74
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,160
Come along.
We're going womanizing.
75
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,079
Oh, goody.
76
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:36,794
So I foreclosed on her
mortgage and took her cats.
77
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:42,842
Oh, Monty. It's such
a delight to talk to you.
78
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:46,387
I've gone five minutes
without saying, "Well, I never!"
79
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,765
Excellent. Let me fetch
you another Thomas Collins.
80
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,149
Damn that Pennybags!
81
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,736
Between him and Scrooge
McDuck, all the best ankle is taken!
82
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,991
Perhaps there're
some girls in here.
83
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,869
Great heavens!
84
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:14,165
It's one of those nude
female fire stations!
85
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,959
I'd always be second place
to some kitten stuck in a tree.
86
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,462
Let's go, Smithers.
Smithers?
87
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,096
That fortune
promised me true love.
88
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,766
This has been
the worst Flag Day ever.
89
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,062
That constable
is ticketing my car!
90
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,607
I told you we should've
parked next to the curb.
91
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,109
Now, see here, Flatfoot!
92
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,281
My goodness.
You're beautiful.
93
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,492
Oh, thanks, but I still
gotta give you the ticket.
94
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:53,662
Of course you do. You
can lift my wiper any day.
95
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,582
Is it still Flag Day?
96
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,167
For 12 more seconds, sir.
97
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:01,170
Miss, would you submit to a
wooing by a gentleman caller?
98
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,381
Oh, I'm sorry,
but you're really not my...
99
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,551
Well, okay.
100
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:10,679
O frabjous day!
She said yes!
101
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,810
He'll pick you up at 7:00.
Wear a petticoat.
102
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:16,894
Petticoat?
103
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,021
Here's a place
that rents them.
104
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,486
It's about time
Mr. Burns found a woman.
105
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,447
I can't stand to
see a man single.
106
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,825
Some people enjoy
being alone, Mom.
107
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,285
No. Everyone should
be paired up.
108
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,752
It wasn't meant to be.
109
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,463
I've gotta be honest, Monty.
110
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:48,467
I've never dated anyone
who knew Calvin Coolidge.
111
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:52,721
Well, I've never dated anyone
with their original hair and teeth.
112
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,980
You're a nice guy, Monty. You're
always laughing and tenting your fingers.
113
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,481
I like that.
114
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,818
Excellent.
115
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,238
And you're so upbeat. You
think everything's excellent.
116
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,451
I really feel safe with you. It's
like going out with my brother.
117
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,620
Yes!
It's going great!
118
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,081
So, what are you into?
119
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,417
"Into"?
Yeah.
120
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,421
Like, what's a fun day
for 104-year-old?
121
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,341
Oh, I enjoy all the
popular youth trends
122
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:34,763
like piloting motor coaches
and collecting dog waste.
123
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,103
So, what shall we do
tomorrow? Go grousing?
124
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,230
Or if you'd rather stay
home, you could sing
125
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:45,149
while I accompany
you on the clavichord.
126
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,026
Actually, Monty, I...
127
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,988
I've got some wonderful stereopticon
images of the Crimean War.
128
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,866
Look, I had
a lot of fun today,
129
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,327
but I don't think
we're right for each other.
130
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,288
The age difference
is just too...
131
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:03,334
Balderdash! It's not important
how old you are on parchment.
132
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,669
It's how old you
feel in the humors.
133
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:06,962
I'm sorry, Monty...
134
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,173
Stop that dog!
It has my gum!
135
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,259
Look. There's one of my
young chums now. You there!
136
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,345
Yes, Mr. Burns?
137
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,056
Tell my young sweetheart here
of our youthful exploits.
138
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,353
Play along, chubsy.
There's a pie in it for you.
139
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:26,732
Oh! Yeah.
Monty's a wild man!
140
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,901
Yeah!
Whoa!
141
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,819
He ran his own casino,
142
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,114
stole the Loch Ness monster,
got shot by a baby,
143
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,075
and blotted out the sun!
144
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,701
Wow. That was you?
145
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,411
So, shall I pick you
up at 8:00?
146
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,537
Well...
147
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,165
Come on.
He's a total player.
148
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,085
Okay.
Stop kicking my door.
149
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,465
Well done, young man.
150
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,229
Your youthful trendiness
will come in handy
151
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,802
throughout the
courting process,
152
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,929
because these days,
you...
153
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,390
Where did you get
that pie?
154
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,683
Windowsill.
155
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,941
New underpants?
Homer, what are you up to?
156
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,901
Burns wants me to
come along on his date
157
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:13,904
to show him where
hip young people go.
158
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:18,117
Well, don't look too hip. You
don't want that girl falling for you.
159
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,744
You're right!
160
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,957
These would stop
Joan Collins herself!
161
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,550
Drat!
I wish that song were longer.
162
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:39,847
I've got to admit,
you can really shake it.
163
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,766
Yes.
That's totally voluntary.
164
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,145
So, you guys come
here all the time?
165
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,273
Constantly.
166
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,691
When we're not
being kicked out
167
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,861
for our rowdy youthful
behavior, eh, pally?
168
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:58,324
Yep. No one's rowdier or more
youthful than Old Man Burns!
169
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,409
You mean Young Man Burns.
170
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,997
Put my hand on her knee.
171
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,915
Yes, Mr. Burns.
172
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:10,419
I said her.
And I said knee.
173
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,795
Oh! Sorry.
174
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,966
I'm going to make
such love to you
175
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,344
that you'll forget all
about Rudolph Valentino.
176
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,428
Turn left here.
177
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,471
No problem.
178
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,188
All right, you're dismissed.
I'll take it from here.
179
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,981
But Mr. Burns,
you're exhausted.
180
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,609
Yes. But I have
a little secret.
181
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,612
I've obtained a rare
powerful aphrodisiac.
182
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,823
It was made from the
pockets of the pocket fox,
183
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,410
an animal that only existed for
three weeks in the 16th century.
184
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,251
See you tomorrow night,
Simpson!
185
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:07,184
Homie, that was amazing!
186
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,978
I hope the kids
didn't hear us.
187
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,483
Wow.
188
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,531
Burns looks happy today.
189
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,700
Watch me take advantage
of his good mood.
190
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,246
Mr. Burns?
Can I have a raise?
191
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,373
Clean out your desk.
You're gone.
192
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,958
Well, I had a good run.
193
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,545
If I counted
all of the things I've got.
194
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:38,090
You might really think
I had a lot.
195
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:43,137
But I won't be satisfied
if I don't have you.
196
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,851
Living in a castle
like a king.
197
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,312
Wouldn't be much fun
without my queen.
198
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:57,693
And I'd probably throw it
all away if I don't have you.
199
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:05,284
Once again, my dear, you've
beaten two strapping young bucks!
200
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,702
Excellent.
201
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:12,124
Did you hear that? That
"excellent" was excellent.
202
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,877
Can I have some ice cream?
I finished my pizza.
203
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:18,630
In time, in time. I need to
speak with you in private.
204
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:24,178
Back in a moment, my dear.
We have to... Expel some urine!
205
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,473
You're going to
ask her to marry you?
206
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,893
Isn't it wonderful? I'm
head over heels in love!
207
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,479
Are you sure you
want to do this so fast?
208
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:37,900
Yes. My biological clock is
ticking. I could be dead again soon.
209
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,944
Wait, my dear.
I think you'll find
210
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:44,239
that red ball
more "engaging."
211
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:54,291
Monty, it's beautiful.
212
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,376
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
213
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,921
Gloria,
say you'll marry me.
214
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:06,845
Oh, Montgomery.
Of course I'll marry you.
215
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:12,100
Spectacular! Now we must
celebrate. I'll get some Champagne-iola!
216
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:15,229
This is the happiest day
of my life.
217
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:19,191
Nothing could spoil it.
Absolutely nothing.
218
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,779
Okay, gun. Check.
219
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:30,702
Dollar-sign bag, check. Power
bar, check. All right! Let's rob this...
220
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,790
Bowling alley?
Okay, whatever.
221
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,628
All right!
Totally... Gloria?
222
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,673
Snake? I thought
you were in prison.
223
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,927
I was. I told the guard that I was
going out for a pack of cigarettes.
224
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,887
Then I totally stabbed him.
225
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:54,643
You're looking good, baby.
Why did we ever break up?
226
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,729
You pushed me out
of a moving car.
227
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:01,149
The cops were chasing us.
I needed to lighten the load.
228
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,527
And, um, protect you.
229
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:08,782
Come on, baby. We can
talk more at my hideout.
230
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,661
No! I'm engaged now!
My ring!
231
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,915
Let go of her,
or I'll scream!
232
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,085
Callooh! Callay!
We're in luck!
233
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,879
They had a magnum at
the shoe counter. Now for...
234
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,715
Gloria?
235
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,760
Her ring.
236
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:33,432
Well, she's run off!
With Simpson.
237
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,524
Well, this is my house.
238
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,237
Jeez,
I just wanted to escape.
239
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:53,076
Gloria, you better tell your
boyfriend to be a good little hostage.
240
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,121
He's not my boyfriend.
Mr. Burns is.
241
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,956
Homer just comes
along on our dates
242
00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,625
and carries us
to the bedroom.
243
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:03,920
You're dating that
old trilobite? Gross!
244
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,340
We're in love, Snake.
245
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,216
Don't say that, baby.
246
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:12,471
I'm gonna win you back if I have
to pistol-whip this guy all night.
247
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,097
Pistol-whip?
248
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,854
Pistol Whip.
249
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,648
Local authorities
are confident
250
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,650
the killer bees
are just curious
251
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,319
and won't bother us
if we don't bother them.
252
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,363
On a serious note,
two local residents
253
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,281
have been missing for
the last 20 minutes.
254
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,909
We take you now live
to Barney's Bowlarama
255
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,953
and the last man who saw
them, C. Montgomery Burns.
256
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,330
I don't understand.
257
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,791
She was my
young sexy fiancée.
258
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,251
He was my
sexually-virile best friend,
259
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,421
and they just drove off
in my Bugatti Sexarossa.
260
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,298
How could this
ever have happened?
261
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:53,178
Well, according to our audience
insta-poll, 46% say you're too old,
262
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,555
and 37% say she's a skank.
263
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,434
Almost there.
264
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:10,028
Wow. Who do you have to kill
to get a place like this?
265
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,406
I think his name
was Gustafson.
266
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,120
Let me guess.
Now you're gonna start
267
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,789
working him over
with the brass knuckles.
268
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,041
You are so predictable.
269
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,460
You know what would be
surprising? A foot massage.
270
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,170
Shut up.
271
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,799
Beating a man to a bloody
pulp isn't going to impress me.
272
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,719
It used to.
What if I beat him harder?
273
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,096
Wow, you so don't get it.
274
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,641
Has the ship sailed on my
foot massage suggestion?
275
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,936
Don't worry, Mr. Burns.
276
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,565
We'll track down Simpson with
your vehicle's anti-theft system.
277
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,400
Car gone! Car gone!
278
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:51,069
Yeah, we know that.
Where has it gone to?
279
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:53,613
Car gone!
Car gone! Car gone!
280
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,325
Chief? This yokel says he saw
Simpson driving down near Hickton.
281
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,662
My peepers don't lie.
282
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,748
That's nice work, Lou.
Lock him up.
283
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:08,712
Hey! Hey, I want that lawyer
what wears the cowboy hat.
284
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,257
Release the girl, Simpson!
285
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,260
I think I can
take him out, Chief.
286
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,515
That's a sweet shot.
He's tied to a chair.
287
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,894
That means Dad's not a
kidnapper, he's a hostage!
288
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:30,233
Get off my lawn, coppers, or
I'll totally turn the sprinklers on!
289
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:34,237
Come on, Snake. You don't
want to soak all these people.
290
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,908
We're in minute two of this
standoff. What's the situation, Chief?
291
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,577
Well, we have an officer
sneaking around the house, Kent,
292
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,621
so unless they have
a television in there
293
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,539
or can hear my
loud talking...
294
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,128
Well, I guess that
answers that, doesn't it?
295
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:55,550
I swear I can change, Gloria. I'm
taking classes in computer fraud.
296
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,845
That's what you said about
the telemarketing scams.
297
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,722
But you didn't stick with it.
298
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,225
I don't like
bothering people at home.
299
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:07,020
Good fire. Good
fire. Keep burning.
300
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:11,233
Almost there. Just
a little more. Wait!
301
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,832
But Gloria is still inside!
Save her!
302
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:31,753
It's too dangerous! But I
got a sister you might like.
303
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,089
She's completely hairless,
like those cats.
304
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,926
I don't care if she's Miss
Hairless America! I'm spoken for.
305
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,887
Now step aside.
I'll save Gloria myself.
306
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:46,351
You? No offense, but you're
a decrepit monkey skeleton.
307
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,521
Perhaps. But this
monkey skeleton is in love!
308
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:02,617
Who am I kidding?
I'm just a feeble old man.
309
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,496
Gloria!
310
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,044
He did it!
He saved her!
311
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,966
Well, the important thing
is they're both safe.
312
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,223
I know you've been
through a lot, ma'am,
313
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:27,578
but we need you to stand in
front of the burning house and say,
314
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,811
"Channel 6 is
hot, hot, hot!"
315
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:33,565
Wow, Mr. Burns.
How did you do that?
316
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,442
Never forget, Homer.
317
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,862
There's no muscle stronger
than the human heart.
318
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:43,158
What about the wiener? A guy
on TV lifted a can of paint with his.
319
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,618
Yes.
320
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,661
Monty, you saved me!
321
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:51,166
And to think I was once
in love with that dirty lowlife
322
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,628
with his arrogant smirk,
gutter mouth,
323
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:58,506
tough-guy attitude,
macho tattoos,
324
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,300
hair that can't be tamed,
325
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,553
prison-sculpted body...
326
00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:09,601
I'm sorry, Monty.
327
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,811
Oh, Snake!
Don't ever change.
328
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,022
Yeah, but... But you...
329
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:17,776
I don't get it, Simpson.
I'm a "bad boy."
330
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,444
Oh, I know.
331
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,321
I'm absolutely evil.
332
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,948
You're preaching
to the choir, man.
333
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,075
What do I have to do?
Grow a devil beard?
334
00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:26,451
Devil beard?
335
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,703
You know,
the little goatee thing.
336
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,163
You mean a Vandyke?
337
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,332
No, a Vandyke has
a moustache, doesn't it?
338
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:33,792
I think it can.
339
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,543
Are you talking
about a soul patch?
340
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,629
No! Wait.
Maybe.
341
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:33,768
English - US - PSDH
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