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1
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The Simpsons.
2
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:10,171
Today we induct the newest honoree
to the Springfield Wall of Fame,
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00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:13,466
who will take his place along
such luminaries as Duffman,
4
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:17,679
Poochie and the man who invented
the yield sign, Paul Yield.
5
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:22,058
Now please welcome the newest inductee
into the Springfield Wall of Fame,
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00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,393
local businessman,
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00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,603
frequent flyer
silver cardholder,
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00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,315
and legendary
20% tipper,
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00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,319
Springfield's own
Vance Connor!
10
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,447
Hi, hi.
11
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:36,948
You're better
than us!
12
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,453
Homer, that guy's
yourage?
13
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,663
No, he's ten days younger.
14
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,041
So you're saying he'll
look like you in ten days?
15
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,500
If he's lucky.
16
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,502
The guy owns a few
local businesses
17
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,713
and everyone treats him
like he's God!
18
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,841
Well, God doesn't need
his own special day.
19
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,134
What about Sunday?
20
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,386
Sunday's the
Lord's day, boy.
21
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,305
Not God's.
Completely different guy.
22
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:05,101
Your father's just jealous because Vance
was our class president in high school.
23
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,561
If I had won
class president,
24
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,230
I'd be the one getting thrown
up in the air right now.
25
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,733
Dad, you ran for
class president?
26
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,736
Yep. Back in high school,
right before I met your mother.
27
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:17,864
A simpler time when the
only thing we worried about
28
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,533
was total nuclear
annihilation.
29
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,137
Rock the boat
Don't rock the boat, baby.
30
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,597
Rock the boat
Don't tip the boat over.
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00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,581
So under my reign
as vice president,
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00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,167
we sent three mathletes
to the state finals.
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00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,045
All of the tenth graders'
lima beans germinated.
34
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,380
Yeah!
35
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,048
Yeah, you should be proud.
36
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,634
So if you want to build
on that, vote for me,
37
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:41,679
and you will all
advance with Vance!
38
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:47,060
Now I'm gonna throw it back
to a guy who, in my opinion,
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00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,229
is the classiest principal
in the business,
40
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,481
Principal Dondalinger!
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00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,235
Ladies, I've seen him up close.
And, yes, his eyes are that green.
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00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,071
Our next candidate
is Homer Simpson.
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00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,615
Please hold your
applause forever.
44
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,497
My fellow Wildcats.
45
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,666
My name is Homer Simpson.
46
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,419
There are
many reasons why I...
47
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,796
I... I...
48
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,589
You know what?
49
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,677
I spent all night
working on that speech.
50
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,805
But now I realize the best thing
to do is speak from my heart.
51
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,682
His heart!
52
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,437
I feel that...
Fellow Wildcats...
53
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:37,402
Webster defines... In the
words of Ted Nugent...
54
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,780
You... School spirit...
Next card... The future...
55
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,743
I've never heard a speech so bad.
Ten days detention!
56
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,827
No fair!
57
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,706
Anyone who votes for Vance
gets a half day tomorrow.
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00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,708
Half day, eh?
59
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,671
Don't feel bad, Homie.
I married you!
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00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,631
And you're a million
times better than...
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00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,092
Here comes Vance!
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00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,219
Hey, Vance!
Thanks for coming out.
63
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,305
Hey, Gail.
I love your bangs.
64
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,431
Hi.
65
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,560
There they are. My
favorite mixed-race couple.
66
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,063
Guys that popular and confident
are never truly happy.
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00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,190
He looks happy.
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00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,858
Tears of a clown.
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00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,486
He's not crying. And he's
not known for clowning.
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00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,779
Exception that
proves the rule.
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00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,115
If losers like me
know one thing,
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00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,660
it's that deep down, winners
like him are miserable.
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00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:31,831
Watch, I'll prove it.
Angry nut coming through!
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00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,625
Clear a path, boys.
75
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,170
Hey, Vance.
76
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,796
Hey, Homer Simpson.
How you been?
77
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,382
Great. Thanks.
Listen, settle a bet.
78
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,676
Behind that smile,
you're dying, right?
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00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,846
Behind this smile is a bigger
smile trying to get out.
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00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,433
Oh! Oh! Here it comes!
Oh, yeah!
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00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,645
Please! You gotta have
some secret agony!
82
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,522
I bet those fancy shoes
hurt your feet.
83
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,607
No. Actually they're
like two leather clouds.
84
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,045
Got them from a buddy of mine
with a store in Shelbyville.
85
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,780
You want his number?
No. Yes.
86
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,661
Hey, Homer. You want to try
my new Vance Connorpolitan?
87
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:13,915
Like Vance, it is smooth,
cool, and oh so sophisticated.
88
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,042
I'll just stick
with my beer.
89
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,711
Homer, why are you so
down on Vance Connor?
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00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,047
He gave me one of his kidneys.
Yeah, me, too.
91
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:25,051
Because when Vance beat me in
that election, he ruined my life.
92
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,930
Why did you just exchange
that look of guilt?
93
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:32,475
Lenny, I think it's
time for us to come clean.
94
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,269
About how we
give each other haircuts?
95
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,479
No. We'll take that
secret to our graves.
96
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,232
I'm talking about...
You know.
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00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,067
Right. Listen, Homer.
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00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,653
Something weird happened
back in high school.
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00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,574
Teenage Carl and I were walking
down the hallway when...
100
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:51,494
You two. I want you to take this
box and bury it in the woods.
101
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:55,373
The true results of this
election must never be known.
102
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,669
I tell you what. We'll do
it under one condition.
103
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,879
Our parents want us
to go to college.
104
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,925
But with a bad enough recommendation
from you, we can stay here and party.
105
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,802
Okay. But screw this up
106
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:10,555
and it's Carnegie Mellon
University for the both of you!
107
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,686
So there's a chance
I actually won.
108
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,563
I gotta dig up
that ballot box!
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00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,690
Just let it go, Homer.
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00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:21,816
Al Gore?
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00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:26,571
Homer, I had a presidential election
stolen from me. But I moved on.
112
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:30,950
And I think you could say
everything worked out all right.
113
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,536
Isn't that right, Alfred?
114
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,705
"It sure is, Albert."
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00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,172
Ballots stolen.
Real winner unknown.
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00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,466
What is the truth?
I gotta know!
117
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:51,012
Lenny, wake up!
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00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,889
Finally you return
my shovel!
119
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,766
That's not why I'm
here. Get dressed!
120
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,101
California casual
or business attire?
121
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,562
California casual.
122
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,943
There it is!
The ballot box?
123
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,656
No. This is the box that tells
us where the ballot box is.
124
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,247
What will this box reveal?
125
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,416
And what will I use
this box for afterwards?
126
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,253
Mismatched nuts and bolts?
Recipes? I may never know.
127
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,047
- Vance Connor.
- D'oh!
128
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,382
- Homer Simpson.
- Woo-hoo!
129
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,883
Vance Connor.
D'0h!
130
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,343
Homer Simpson.
Woo-hoo!
131
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,552
Vance Connor.
D'0h!
132
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,012
Homer Simpson.
Woo-hoo!
133
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,430
Please stop doing that.
134
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,015
“D'oh or “woo-hoe”?
135
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:41,521
Both. Homer Simpson, Vance
Connor, Fonzie, Homer Simpson.
136
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,481
And the winner is.
137
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,650
Homer Simpson.
138
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,027
Yes! I'm
senior class president!
139
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,531
I get a parking spot if the
assistant principal isn't using it!
140
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:57,787
Wait a second. If I'd been class
president like I was supposed to,
141
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,264
I'd be the one
with the big mansion,
142
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,290
and the color TVs,
and the hot wife!
143
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,375
Hey!
144
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,168
Marge, I still would be
married to you,
145
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,379
but you would
just be hotter.
146
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,507
Dad, just 'cause you won
a high school election
147
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,718
doesn't mean your whole
life would've been better.
148
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,511
That's exactly
what it means!
149
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,472
And Dondalinger took
that life away from me!
150
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,224
And the taking of
a life is murder!
151
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,892
And the punishment
for murder is...
152
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,395
Well, it varies from state
to state and by race,
153
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,605
but I'm gonna
find Dondalinger
154
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,442
and tell him I know
what he did last summer,
155
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,403
22 years ago
in the winter!
156
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,546
That's the thing about
you assistant principals.
157
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,754
You can drive the ball
but you can't putt.
158
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,840
Wait a minute. You're
not in our foursome.
159
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,163
No other foursome
would have me.
160
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,801
My legs gross
people out.
161
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,595
Dondalinger!
162
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,477
Looks like one of my former
students on a quest for truth.
163
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,689
Dondahngen I should've
been class president!
164
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,941
But you stole the
election from me!
165
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,151
I can explain.
166
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:13,279
But are you sure we should
talk in front of your son?
167
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,362
Yes! I want him to know that if your
life doesn't turn out the way you want,
168
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,742
there's someone
else to blame!
169
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,286
I already knew that, Dad.
I'm gonna blame you.
170
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,537
I respect your choice.
171
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,207
Now drive back to the clubhouse
and order me a Tom Collins.
172
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,750
With a virgin
Tom Collins for me?
173
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,543
Virgin.
What are you? A girl?
174
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,137
Now, Dondalinger,
I want some answers.
175
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,307
Very well. It's a fact, I didn't
like you, Simpson. Still don't.
176
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,100
You lie.
You love me.
177
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,852
Whatever complex
emotions I feel,
178
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,813
they're not why
I did what I did.
179
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,731
There was another reason.
180
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,651
Jive talkin'
181
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,153
You're telling me lies.
182
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,446
Jive talkin'
183
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,157
Homer
Simpson, what a loser!
184
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:01,702
Hey, what if we got everyone to
vote for him as a joke and he won?
185
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,247
Then we could laugh at him all
the way through high school
186
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,665
and at every reunion!
187
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,667
Go, sports!
Go, sports!
188
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:18,427
So you see, I disposed of the
ballot box to spare your feelings.
189
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,973
You denied me my dream!
So I'm angry!
190
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,600
But you did it out of
kindness, so I'm grateful.
191
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,770
I'm filled with respect
and contempt for you.
192
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,273
I... Why you...
193
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:35,027
You are so...
I hate you!
194
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,947
As principal, I did a lot
of things I'm not proud of.
195
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:41,200
I would steal school chalk
from my own chalkboard.
196
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,452
But I'm not sorry I
rigged that election.
197
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,205
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna sit under that tree
198
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,708
and think of all the women I
could've talked to but didn't.
199
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,379
The brown-haired girl
gave me a look.
200
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,048
The red head in the park
was reading a book.
201
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,593
The girl at the airport
upgraded my car.
202
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,846
Tonight, I wonder
just where you are.
203
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,435
Homie, you're
barely eating.
204
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,396
Yeah. I can actually see your hands.
They're not just a blur.
205
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,231
I don't feel
much like eating.
206
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:15,651
I'll never know what would've happened
if I had been class president.
207
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,863
You could know if you dared.
208
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,114
Huh? Who said that?
209
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:23,743
In the kitchen is a man from the
old country who works for me.
210
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,411
He stirs the sauce.
211
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:29,415
They say if he stirs
the sauce just right,
212
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:33,210
he can also see
what might have been!
213
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,923
As a rational skeptic,
I find that hard to believe.
214
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,009
Also as a vegetarian, I hope
there's not meat in that sauce.
215
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,219
Any other orders,
Mussolini?
216
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,512
No. That's it.
217
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,183
Watch the sauce.
You see what I see?
218
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,392
I see a hair.
219
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,518
You see too much!
220
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,605
Now watch the sauce
of bubbling red.
221
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,107
And see the life
you could've led.
222
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,275
Okay.
223
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,656
Yes,
I like to stir.
224
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,285
Your new senior
class president is,
225
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,455
Homer Simpson.
226
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,000
Our president's
a real loser!
227
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,710
Yeah. A loser like us!
228
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,381
He proves you don't have to be
popular to have everyone like you.
229
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,466
Homer! Homer! Homer!
230
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,468
Homer! Homer!
231
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:26,514
Homer! Homer!
Homer! Homer...
232
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,268
I would've been
a winner!
233
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,771
Instead of some idiot
spending his Saturday nights
234
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,982
staring into
a bowl of sauce!
235
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,734
Why did fate
do this to me?
236
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,237
Ask the garlic bread.
237
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,323
Why? Why?
238
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:48,285
Hey, everyone! The stupid fat
man's talking to garlic bread!
239
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,876
Come on, stir!
I must see more!
240
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,838
Homie, please. Nothing
good will come of this.
241
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,091
Marge, unlike CPR, this
is something I must know!
242
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:07,263
Very well. Now we must once
more stare madly into the sauce.
243
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,272
Mr. President,
we need a class song,
244
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,315
a class motto,
and a class mascot!
245
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,068
Color My World, "Disco
Sucks," and Butthead the goat.
246
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:24,780
Mr. President, do you approve of
the bailout of the French Club?
247
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,198
They're too big to fail.
248
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,617
Homer, do you have a
date for the prom yet?
249
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:32,621
Sorry. The only girl I could
ever want is right over there.
250
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,207
Debbie Pinson.
251
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,755
Hey, Debbie. Want to
go to prom with me?
252
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:44,050
Well, I'm engaged to
the quarterback, butyes!
253
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,137
Forget it, Marge.
254
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:51,891
A girl like you could
never land a Homer Simpson.
255
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,102
So Dad's life would
actually have been worse
256
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,981
because he wouldn't have gotten
together with Mom, his one true love.
257
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,817
Just keep watching
the sauce, girlie.
258
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:13,746
I got the biggest lapels, the ruffliest
shirt, and the most beautiful girl.
259
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,456
Thank you, Homer.
260
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,626
Debbie, I forgot I have an
English paper due on Monday.
261
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,878
Would you read To Kill
a Mockingbird for me?
262
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:22,630
And if you could write
down how Boo Radley
263
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,925
fits into the southern gothic
tradition, that would be great.
264
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,261
Nobody's ever asked me to
use my head brain before.
265
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:37,061
Homer Simpson,
class president.
266
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,063
Oh, my God!
He's talking to me!
267
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:41,232
A lot of great things have
happened to me lately.
268
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,110
But they're nothing
compared to meeting you.
269
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,444
May I have
this dance?
270
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:48,197
Only if it
lasts forever.
271
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:54,662
Homer Simpson! I was gonna
let you get to fifth base!
272
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,540
It would've been something you
told your grandchildren about!
273
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:01,043
Sorry, Debbie. I hope you can
find happiness without me.
274
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,799
Who wants a cheerleader
on the rebound?
275
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,552
I do! Right.
276
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,224
I can hardly believe
this is real.
277
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:20,729
Marge, the way I feel about you is
as real and lasting as my hairline.
278
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:26,527
Who's that side of
beef munching on our sister?
279
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,947
I don't know. But in this
reality I am not gay.
280
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,115
Hubba hubba!
281
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,951
Sweet dreams.
282
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:41,167
Young man, you have the noble bearing
of the Barbarian leader Vercingetorix.
283
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,169
Thank you,
mysterious weirdo.
284
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,963
Tell me, what student
government office do you hold?
285
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,798
Secretary? Treasurer?
286
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,217
Dare I say
secretary-treasurer?
287
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,635
I'm class president.
288
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:56,390
Hotdog! Say, how would
you like to work for me?
289
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,851
Sir, we could start
him off in Sector 7G.
290
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,352
7G?
291
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,439
Let the Lennys and the Carls of the
world waste their wretched lives
292
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,649
in that testicle-shriveling
torture chamber.
293
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:09,737
Son, you'll be working
in sector 6F!
294
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,033
So Dad's life would've
been the same!
295
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,368
He would've married Mom
and worked for Mr. Burns.
296
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,786
It would've
been a push.
297
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,496
Can you keep her quiet?
298
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,165
Not even when
she's snorkeling.
299
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,876
I was describing
beautiful fish, Bart!
300
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,473
How you doing, Dad?
301
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,059
I can't complain.
And I never do.
302
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,394
Thanks for letting me
live in your guesthouse.
303
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,652
Honey, I'm home!
304
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,239
Where are the kids?
305
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,116
You used protection.
We never had any.
306
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,286
Well, that's
what's missing.
307
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:02,498
Our lives would be
horrible without the kids.
308
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:06,502
Yes. That must be it. This is
the best of all possible worlds!
309
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,713
I want to live
in the sauce!
310
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,758
If you could live
in the sauce,
311
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,969
don't you think I would
live in the sauce?
312
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:20,975
How long has he
been there?
313
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,102
I don't know.
But he's algae-fying.
314
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,939
Homie, please
come inside?
315
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,190
Okay.
316
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,986
Dad, we need
to have a talk.
317
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,279
I get it.
318
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:37,283
You're all gonna try to convince me that
my life is great just like it is, right?
319
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,744
Are you kidding? We couldn't even
convince you that Bruce Wayne is Batman!
320
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,122
Come on! That
millionaire playboy?
321
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,416
He's too busy socializing
at cocktail parties
322
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,710
and managing the affairs
of the Wayne Foundation!
323
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,795
Don't open
this one again.
324
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,047
Why does he think
Alfred's friends with Batman?
325
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,465
Just stop!
326
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,385
Dad, we think the sauce
had it all wrong.
327
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,722
Look who thinks he's
smarter than sauce.
328
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:04,810
Sweetheart, I think you'd feel
better after we take a little walk.
329
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,813
Why would you
bring me here?
330
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:10,149
It's like bringing Richard
Nixon to the Watergate,
331
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,359
or Kevin Costner
to Waterworld.
332
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,028
Really?
333
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,990
My own plaque!
334
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:21,577
And one for Vice President
Butthead! Cool!
335
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,455
Is that why you brought
me here, spirits?
336
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,790
Yep. In the future,
people will look at this
337
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:30,669
and they'll say, "Whoever he
was, he must've mattered."
338
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,755
I guess that
would be nice.
339
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,008
Pardon me. Can my son have
his picture taken with you?
340
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,801
Really? Sure.
341
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:44,099
Dad, do you think I could
be elected class president?
342
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,769
Well, we can't all be
Homer Simpson, son.
343
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,146
Thanks, guys.
344
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,358
Hey, was there another
plaque here before?
345
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,443
Plaques come,
plaques go.
346
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,324
Now let's get
something to eat!
347
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:01,700
How about Italian?
348
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,077
God, no!
349
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,703
I hear there's
a Korean barbecue place
350
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,872
where the beef spells out
the date of your death.
351
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,332
Whoo! That sounds like fun!
352
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:02,845
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
27153
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