Original subtitles

♪ This is Greenwich Village ♪

♪ The Latin quarter of New York ♪

♪ Oh, what a pleasure it is to see ♪

♪ Washington Square, where the air is purest ♪

♪ Sits a haven for the tourists ♪

♪ But if you're a pleasure-seeker ♪

♪ Go to Barrow Street or Bleecker ♪

♪ It has the flavor of gay Paris ♪

♪ Art everywhere ♪

♪ And everyday those artists ♪

♪ From the dumbest to the smartest ♪

♪ Used to be a village dweller ♪

♪ In a garret or a cellar ♪

♪ They live in dusty rooms ♪

♪ Dark and musty rooms ♪

♪ Still in Greenwich Village ♪

♪ People call it atmosphere ♪

Well, that's exactly what we were looking for.

The right atmosphere at the right price.

There we are now, the Sherwood sisters,

one would-be writer and one would-be actress,

in search of fame, fortune,

and a for-rent sign on barrow street.

The one in red, that's me.

And the beautiful blonde, that's my sister Eileen.

♪ My sister Eileen ♪

♪ If you create, you can't be great ♪

♪ Unless you have the proper atmosphere ♪

♪ The sweet Greenwich Village breeze ♪

♪ Is loaded with royalties ♪

♪ To get ideas that are fresh ♪

♪ You need a special kind of atmosphere ♪

♪ A place that's bohemian ♪

♪ A place to be dreamy in ♪

♪ What a spot ♪

♪ My little Montmartre ♪

♪ Oh, what a spot for losing your heart ♪

♪ You may be slightly underfed ♪

♪ But you'll be headed for a great career ♪

♪ And kisses are more sincere ♪

♪ For this is the atmosphere ♪

♪ For love ♪

Here we are.

- Psst. - Huh?

You're standing on the brink of disaster.

Take my advice, forget about it.

- Forget what? - The vacancy.

You wouldn't care for the apartment.

Why not?

Termites.

Termites?

This big.

- Believe me. - Oh, Ruth.

An exterminator went in there last week

and he got the beating of his life.

However, if you young ladies are seeking a sanctuary

in this troubled world, seek no more.

I will show you the best value in Greenwich Village.

Come along with me.

Wait a minute. Who are you?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Appopolous.

Papa Appopolous

to my children on Barrow street.

Oh, how do you do?

I am Eileen Sherwood and this is my sister Ruth.

- Of the Ohio Sherwoods. - Of course.

Now, where is this sanctuary?

Due south.

Here we are, darlings.

The pride of Barrow Street, the Appopolous Arms.

Oh, you mean you...

Oh, well.

Is the apartment very high up?

Up?

Down.

He's crazy about it.

Here we are, darlings, all righty.

Your luggage, please.

Your luggage.

Please.

Isn't this exactly what you've been dreaming about?

My dear young ladies,

this is the best value you can get for your money in New York.

Architecture, neighborhood.

Thank you, I'll have it fixed.

It isn't too bad, Ruth.

Too bad?

Let me point out a few salient features of this studio.

A: It is summer.

Hi.

Psst.

It is exactly 30 degrees cooler down here.

Cooler? It's musty enough to hang venison.

Note the exquisite imitation fireplace,

the magnificent day beds.

And look here,

there is even a piano.

♪

I'd never have known without an autopsy.

And here is a model kitchenette,

complete in every detail.

And here is a luxurious bathroom.

Ah-ah.

What fiend designed this?

In those 2 rooms, you won't entertain.

- It does look clean, Ruth. - Yeah.

♪

What's that?

Oh, one of your neighbors.

Perhaps a future Lily Pons or Helen Traubel.

Come, let me show you the garden.

It's beautiful in the summer.

A garden.

Real outdoor living.

♪

How are you, Papa?

Very busy, Mr. O'Connor. Very busy.

You see, you're surrounded by fellow artists like yourself.

Oh, it is colorful, isn't it, Ruth?

If you like loud colors.

How much is this apartment?

Only 65 dollars.

65 dollars? For this concrete catacomb?

I'll even wallpaper the kitchen.

It is cheaper than anything else we've looked at, Ruth.

As an added inducement, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

Take the place for a month,

then, if you're still not satisfied,

I'll give you back your first month's rent.

Oh, Ruth. I don't see what we can lose. Do you?

Legally, you've got me where you want me.

I gave you my word in front of 2 witnesses.

3, including me.

Oh, please, Ruth, I just can't look at any more places.

Well... then it's all settled.

You left the rest of your luggage at the station?

- Yes. - You girls make yourself at home.

- I'll send for it. - Oh, why, thank you.

Uh, you have the luggage checks, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

And the, um...

Oh, oh. just a minute.

$20, $40, $50, $60.

$1, $2, $3, $4 $5.

Thank you.

Thank you, my children. Thank you very much.

From now on, you can call me Papa.

I'll have it fixed in the morning. Good luck.

Well, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

Mr. Appopolous! Mr. Appopolous!

- Where's that door knob? - Here it is.

Mr. Appopolous, Mr. Appopolous, wait just a minute.

- It was terrible. - Yes, darlings?

- What was that? - What was what?

Well, that noise. The whole room shook.

Oh.

It goes to show you how you get used to it.

- I didn't even notice it. - Get used to it?

You mean it happens all the time?

You won't even be conscious of it.

A little blasting. The new subway.

You mean they're blasting right under our feet?

What are you so worried about?

Those engineers know how much dynamite to use.

But does it happen all the time?

No, no, no, no. They stop at midnight,

and they don't start again until, hmm,

6:00 in the morning.

6:00!

How would you like to step outside?

What are you getting so hysterical about?

I'm not hysterical yet.

- All we want is our money back. - Yes.

I told you I'd give back your money and I will,

if at the end of the month, you're still dissatisfied.

Good night, darlings.

♪

What are we going to do?

We're gonna do 30 days.

Ruth, we ought to have that phone connected in the morning

so we can start calling up for jobs.

You don't call up for jobs, dear,

you go out and look for 'em.

Gee, I hope we don't have to look too long.

Incidentally, that money from dad

is the last we're gonna take from him.

After that, it's beg, borrow, steal, or starve.

Of course.

Gee, maybe we shouldn't have come

to New York just yet, huh, Ruth?

Don't tell me you're getting homesick already?

Maybe a little.

I wonder what Billy Hunniger is doing tonight.

He's probably at the country club dance with Annie Wilkerson.

He can have her.

Don't you think he knows that?

Of course, those things never bothered you.

Men never meant very much in your life.

Not after they got a load of you, they didn't.

Now, that's the trouble with you.

You've got a complex or something.

You're a lot more attractive than you think you are.

You're close. I'm a lot more attractive than men think I am.

Well, remember what dad said.

There are 8 million people in New York,

and half of them are men.

One of them is bound to be the right boy for you.

Yeah, and I wonder where the poor devil is tonight.

1, 2,

I'm gonna take a shower. Ok.

5, 6,7.

1,2...

The heck with it. Let it spread.

♪ When I started shedding my avoirdupois ♪

♪ I thought it would get me somewhere with the boys ♪

♪ I went to a gym and got myself slim ♪

♪ I went on long hikes, I wore out 3 bikes ♪

♪ And from those masseurs what beatings I took ♪

♪ Yet nobody said ♪

♪ How lovely you look ♪

What'd you say, Ruth?

I said, 'let it spread.'

Oh.

♪ What good ♪

♪ Does it do me to slenderize? ♪

♪ Who needs this reducing routine? ♪

♪ Slender or stout ♪

♪ I am a washout ♪

♪ As soon as they see Eileen ♪

♪ I long for a young man with tender eyes ♪

♪ But my competition's too keen ♪

♪ My name is mud ♪

♪ I'm a real dud ♪

♪ As soon as they see Eileen ♪

♪ But she's an angel ♪

♪ As well as a cutie ♪

♪ Her kind of beauty is rare ♪

♪ Still I always have found ♪

♪ That when she is around ♪

♪ Nobody knows that I'm there ♪

♪ I wish I could dream ♪

♪ And philosophize ♪

♪ With someone who knows what I mean ♪

♪ Oh, but what is the use? ♪

♪ I'm a gone goose ♪

♪ As soon as they see Eileen ♪

♪ I'm over 20 with plenty of knowledge ♪

♪ I earned my college degree ♪

♪ But I'm frankly annoyed ♪

♪ Oh, tell me, doctor Freud ♪

♪ What is the matter with me? ♪

Hi.

Mommy! Mommy!

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

♪ Some night ♪

♪ Maybe I'll see the starry skies ♪

♪ With someone who isn't too green ♪

♪ But with all my desire, I'm a flat tire ♪

♪ I have the appeal ♪

♪ Of a fifth wheel ♪

♪ I'm just out of luck ♪

♪ I'm a dead duck ♪

♪ As soon as they see ♪

♪ Eileen ♪

- Ruth? - Yeah?

Ruth, where are you?

What are you doing out there?

Just getting a breath of fresh air,

frightening little children.

What?

I was hoping we'd get what's-his-name to fix that shower.

- It just dribbles. - Yeah, I noticed.

You know, it's as hot outside as it is in here.

Yeah. Well, don't forget to lock the door.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Gee, I... I didn't think you girls would go to bed this early.

That's beside the point. Who are you?

Oh, I live upstairs. My name's Ted Loomis.

You can just call me Wreck.

Uh... uh, Wreck?

Yeah, that's what they used to call me at Georgia Tech.

I'd have made all American, only I was expelled.

That's very interesting.

But don't you think it's about time you were rambling along?

Oh, yeah.

If I can do anything for you girls, you just whistle.

We'll do that.

Oh, by the way, I was just wondering,

uh, are you girls going to be home tomorrow?

Uh, no. We'll be out looking for work.

Oh, that's great.

I always do the laundry down here on Thursday.

Laundry?

Mmm-hmm.

Well, Helen's a switchboard operator. She works nights.

I don't like to disturb her during the day.

Helen?

Yeah.

We're engaged.

Oh, I... I... don't want you to get the wrong idea.

It's just that we can't afford to get married,

and we can't afford 2 apartments. I'm out of work right now.

So, when Helen's at work, I sleep,

and then when she sleeps, I do the housework.

We don't see much of each other, so we get along just great.

I... I can see you girls still think that's a little strange?

Only because we're from Ohio.

Oh, yeah. I guess that would make a difference.

Violet was from Brooklyn.

Who's Violet?

Well, uh, she had this studio before they started blasting for the subway.

It was bad for business.

B-b-business?

Yeah.

She read palms or something.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, thanks a million about the laundry.

I'll see you tomorrow. Good night.

Now what was that all about?

I don't know.

He seemed very nice.

Oh, he would. He's a man.

Everything's so convenient in this dungeon.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

I know what you mean.

I could swear I just put out the lights.

Oh, there's a street lamp shining right in the window.

You'll have to pull the curtains.

We're practically sleeping in the street.

Yeah, we sure can't close the windows. We'd suffocate.

Yeah.

- What's the matter? - Oh, this bed.

Yeah, they are kind of hard, aren't they?

Hard? We could do better at the morgue.

Well, let's go to sleep.

Maybe we can have a nice, pleasant nightmare.

We got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.

That's right.

- Good night, honey. - Good night.

W-W-What was that?

Now what?

Well, that's one way to keep cool.

Oh, Ruth, you're drenched.

Here, let me get you a towel.

♪

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream ♪

Get away from there.

- ♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪ - Get away from here!

Pete, look. Girls.

Go away! You heard me.

Beat it, you drunken goons!

Aw, now, please, madam.

All we were doing was singing.

Since when is it a crime to sing?

You're certainly not getting into the spirit of things, madam.

I'm not in the mood and stop calling me madam!

Isn't she lovely, Pete?

She certainly is.

You get away from there. Now, go on, go away.

♪

Break it up, break it up!

I was saying good night...

Good night, ladies.

♪

You heard em.

Out, out.

Good night, ladies.

Thank you very much, officer.

Oh, yes. We're so glad you came by.

Yeah, I'll bet you are.

Y-y-you see, there aren't any shades on the window and...

Yes, there's a light shining through the window.

Could you do something about that?

Sure, I'll put a shade on it.

You kids new in the neighborhood?

Yeah, we just moved in this afternoon.

Well, if you're smart, you'll move out tomorrow.

I don't go for this kind of stuff on my beat.

Well, what did he mean by that?

Evidently, this studio has a bad reputation.

Violet must have been reading palms without a license.

I don't think I can take 30 days of this, Ruth.

Honey, everything's gonna be all right.

It's all my fault. If I hadn't of insisted on...

It isn't your fault.

Staying here, we could've gone to a hotel...

Good morning, Wreck. I'm home.

Hi, baby. You have a hard night?

Yeah, it was pretty busy. Think I'll go to bed now.

I made you something to eat. It's in the kitchen.

Thanks, honey.

You have a good day's sleep.

All righty.

See you later.

Ok.

Oh, here, here, let me give you a hand.

Thanks, Wreck.

Oh, by the way. Here's the grocery list.

Are you sure you don't mind?

No, of course not. I got to go to the store anyway.

Here's the money. I... I think that ought to be enough.

In case it isn't, take off the cookies and the soft drinks.

We're on an awfully tight budget.

Boy, I know what you mean. Since I'm out of work,

Helen makes me watch the pennies pretty close.

What kind of work you out of, Wreck?

I play pro football during the season.

What do you do the rest of the year?

I usually wrestle, but I got suspended.

Why?

Overacting.

Really.

How about you girls? You got any connections here in town?

Yeah. Ow.

I have a letter of introduction

to the editor of Manhatter magazine.

Oh, that's good. How about Eileen?

Eileen doesn't need a letter.

Well, I'm all ready.

Do I look all right?

I can't remember when you didn't.

You look beautiful.

Any producer that wouldn't hire you is a girl.

Oh, thanks, Wreck.

I just don't know where to go or how to get started.

Most of the actors around here

read variety to see what's going on.

Well, if we're gonna do it, honey, let's do it.

Yeah. Which way to the subway?

It's right up the...

Come on, I'll show you.

Now, it's right up at this corner.

Remember you take the uptown train.

- Oh, this corner? - That's right.

- Good luck, you guys. - Bye.

Good morning, darlings.

Did you have a good night's sleep?

Oh, sure. You know, for a place with a bad location

and no neon sign, we did a whale of a business.

Yeah, and there's no hot water in the shower.

Well, that's why you look so cool and refreshed.

I assume you're off to seek employment?

Oh, yes. I... guess we better get started, honey.

You'll have this great Metropolis groveling at your feet

like a passionate lover.

That's what I thought when I left Ohio,

but now I'm scared.

You're not alone, honey.

Ah, pish-tosh!

There are only 2 things you need

in this part of the world to succeed.

A: Confidence.

B: Patience.

Psst.

Take me, for example.

♪ I'm sure that I'm a genius ♪

♪ So I haven't any fears ♪

♪ I never get discouraged and downhearted ♪

♪ I haven't sold a painting, and I've tried for 20 years ♪

♪ He's just a little slow getting started ♪

♪ I'm great, but no one knows it ♪

♪ No one knows it but me ♪

♪ I'm great and yet I just can't get the critics to agree ♪

♪ My works are masterpieces like Picassos and Matisses ♪

♪ You're certainly an artist ♪

♪ When it comes to drawing leases ♪

♪ I'm just as great as he is ♪

♪ But they call me the worst ♪

♪ But when I lose a match it's cause I haven't been rehearsed ♪

♪ You mean that you're a genius in your own peculiar way ♪

♪ We're great, but no one knows it but they will someday ♪

You see, that's our secret.

You've got to have confidence in yourself.

Miss Sherwood, you could be, uh,

a female Shakespeare.

- Me? - Why, sure you could.

Eileen, Eileen, you could show

these other actresses they're not even on the 2nd team.

You could throw a hammerlock around this whole doggone town.

- I could? - You could.

If you only believe in yourself.

Miss Sherwood, what do you think of yourself?

Well, I... I... I guess I'm all right.

No, Eileen. Ruth.

Ruth, what do you think of yourself?

- Well, I... I... uh... - Oh, no!

No, no, no. No matter what anybody says,

you've got to keep your head up high

and say, I'm great.

Say it!

♪ I'm great ♪

- No, no. - No, no.

You've got to shout it out!

So the whole city can hear you.

Shout! Shout!

♪ I'm great, but no one knows it ♪

- ♪ No one knows it ♪ - That's much better.

- ♪ So far ♪ - That's fine.

♪ But they'll get wise ♪

♪ And realize how wonderful you are ♪

♪ The public may acclaim us ♪

♪ We'll be popular and famous ♪

♪ And anyone that pans us will be called an ignoramus ♪

♪ We're great, but no one knows it ♪

♪ But who cares about them ♪

♪ Can we be sure? ♪

♪ Just say that you're the crème de la crème ♪

♪ Well, I don't know what that means ♪

♪ But I agree with what you say ♪

♪ We're great, but no one knows it ♪

♪ But they will someday ♪

♪ We're great, but no one knows it ♪

♪ No one knows it so far ♪

♪ But they'll get wise ♪

♪ And realize how talented we are ♪

♪ The public will acclaim us ♪

♪ We'll be popular and famous ♪

♪ And anyone who pans us will be called an ignoramus ♪

♪ We're great, but no one knows it ♪

♪ No one knows it not yet ♪

♪ They don't even pay us to endorse a cigarette ♪

♪ As we go by, they'll point us out ♪

♪ And even shout hurray! ♪

♪ Hurray! We're great, but no one knows it ♪

- Won't you sit down? - Oh, thank you.

Thank...

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me. Yes?

M-my name is Eileen Sherwood

and I read in variety that Mr. Wallace is casting a new show.

Would it be possible for me to see him?

I'm sorry, but Mr. Wallace is only seeing people by appointment.

Oh, do you think I can make an appointment?

- We'll let you know. - That's impossible.

- You can send in the next. - Thank you anyway.

- Carolyn Christy. - Oh, I'm sorry.

Won't you step in now, please?

Mr. Wallace, she isn't on the list.

Don't be so technical, Miss Stevenson.

Was America on Columbus's map?

Oh, I... I would like to see Mr. Robert Baker, please.

Mr. Baker can't see anyone.

He's just getting ready to leave on his vacation.

On his vacation?

Oh, can't I see him for just a minute?

You see, some of my stories were submitted to him

by Mr. Stover of the Columbus Courier.

I have a letter of introduction.

I'm sorry. If you care to leave the letter and your telephone number,

I'm sure he'll get in touch with you when he returns.

Oh, the phone's not connected yet, but I'll leave the address.

There.

Thank you very much.

Keep smiling.

Now here are your tickets, Mr. Baker.

The bags are in the taxi,

and your train leaves in 20 minutes.

Goodbye, Mr. Baker.

Ah, no tears, Judy.

George, I left the bar open. Be my guest.

- Thank you, Mr. Baker. - You're getting taller, George.

Now don't you worry about a thing.

- Good-bye. - Have a wonderful time.

- Catch a lot of fish. - I will.

- Bye, Mr. Baker. - I was hoping you'd say that.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

- Mr. Baker... - Good-bye, dear.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I don't know you, do I?

Don't mention it, Mr. Baker.

I'm Ruth Sherwood.

Oh. Uh, well, it was nice kissing you.

Oh, Mr. Baker, I know you're in a hurry.

Yes. I'm afraid I have to catch a train.

Excuse me. Jerry, would you make it nonstop for me?

I guess you don't remember. I'm Ruth Sherwood.

Yes.

Bill Stover of the Columbus Courier,

he sent you some of my stories.

- Oh, good, you, Bill. Well, how is old Bill? - Yeah.

- We were roommates in college. - Yes, he told me.

- He's fine. - Good.

Did you have a chance to read my stories?

Your stories. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Yes, well, I thought you'd be more of

the spinster type, sort of.

Spinster?

Well, those love stories of yours are pretty depressing.

- Oh. - Now, w-what I mean is

that all romance doesn't end in epic tragedy necessarily.

You know, the boy running off and joining the foreign legion,

the girl setting fire to her hope chest.

- Oh. - The funniest thing.

I usually can figure out what a person is like from the way they write.

I mean, but like you,

you just don't seem to me like a confirmed cynic.

We cynical spinsters can be pretty deceptive sometimes.

Thank you, Jerry. I didn't mean to offend you.

Offend me? Just because you say I write like a frustrated old maid?

Look, I'd love to... Excuse me, go ahead.

I'd love to discuss this thing further with you, but I can't, you see.

And just to keep the record straight, I didn't call you frustrated.

Thank you.

Look, don't get discouraged, just...

I think you write very well.

Try writing something you're familiar with.

With which I'm familiar.

Well, it was nice meeting you, Miss, uh...

- Sherwood. - Sherwood. Yes, of course.

Of course.

Grand central.

- Good afternoon. - Hello.

Can I take your order?

Yes. I'd like a coke, please.

Ok.

It's warm, isn't it?

Oh, awful.

Want some lime in this?

It's good in the hot weather.

All right.

Saw you in here this morning.

You did?

- You haven't been in before, have you? - Thank you.

No, I just got in town yesterday.

You an actress?

No. I'd like to be.

But I don't think it's going to be very easy.

I've already seen 3 producers this morning.

Oh. Don't tell me they weren't interested?

They were interested all right,

but not in my acting.

Yes, I see what you mean. Hey,

maybe I could help you get started.

I don't know if you know it or not,

but this place is a real kind of hangout for people in show business.

- Oh, really? - Sure.

If I keep my ears open,

I could pick up a lot of inside information

about auditions and that kind of stuff.

Oh, well, that would be just wonderful.

I got it. Why don't you come in here every day?

Say, for lunch. And I'll keep you posted.

Oh... food's excellent.

Every day we have a special.

Oh, well, that's certainly very nice of you, Mister...

Lippencott. Frank Lippencott.

- Fountain manager. - Oh, how do you do?

I'm Eileen Sherwood.

Well, I guess I'll be seeing you for lunch tomorrow, Mr. Lippencott.

Do I pay here?

Don't worry about it.

Courtesy of the management.

Oh, thank you very, very much.

Remember now. Don't get discouraged.

I'll try not to. Thank you.

♪ I'm great, but no one knows it ♪

♪ No one knows it so far ♪

♪ They'll get wise and realize how talented we are ♪

Huh.

♪ As we go by, they'll point us out ♪

♪ And even shout hurray ♪

Well?

♪ We're great and no one knows it, but they will ♪

Oh, good morning, Mr. Newbetter.

Um, sorry.

You know, the last few weeks,

I feel like I'm living in my own little world.

Sending all these stories to myself.

I think I'll call the next one 'boomerang.'

Cheer up, maybe the next one won't come back.

Yeah, I'll leave off the return address.

Bad news?

Not if you like to suffer.

Well, don't you worry.

I've got a feeling that this is my lucky day.

If I knock on enough doors,

some producer has got to let me show him what I can do.

Oh, anything you want while I'm uptown?

Oh, yeah.

You can cash the last of the Mohicans.

The last?

When this is gone, we've had it, honey.

20 bucks and 2 return tickets to Columbus, Ohio.

Well, we're not gonna use those tickets.

You just wait.

The first thing you know, you'll sell a story,

I'll get a job and we can move out of this terrible place.

You know, it's starting again.

- What? - The kitchen wall.

It keeps perspiring or something.

It could break through and flood the place.

I think we should talk to Mr. Appopolous.

Talk to him? I've been screaming at him for 2 weeks.

C-could you write a letter of protest

to the better business bureau or something?

Sure I could, but anything I'd write, they'd just send back.

Well, goodbye. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hey, maybe that's what's wrong with my stories.

I've been typing with my fingers crossed.

Oh, what's for dinner?

The usual, meatballs and spaghetti.

Ugh.

Do you think we could get something kind of

interesting for dessert?

I invited Frank Lippencott.

You know, it's wonderful the way you manage with only one maid.

It's the least we can do.

Do you know, he hasn't let me pay for one single lunch check

since I've been going in there?

I have a feeling that before long

Walgreens' fountain will be under new management.

Scat.

Bye.

Good luck.

Where you been, Chick?

Haven't seen you around in a while.

I've been up to Atlantic city, covering the Miss America contest.

Frank, old boy, our country's never been in such good shape.

Ha.

- What's new with you? - Nothing.

Invented any new sundaes lately?

Eileen. Hiya.

Hi.

I tried to call you at the house,

but your sister said you'd already left.

- I have good news for you. - Oh, really? What?

- I heard about an audition. - Oh.

A... a rehearsal pianist who comes in here, he told me about it.

When is it? Where do I have to go?

It's in a theatre on 42nd street.

The piano player's name is Charlie,

and he said that if you come right over, he'll fix it up.

Oh, Frank, that's wonderful.

I don't know how to thank...

Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear, Miss, uh...

Uh...

This is Eileen Sherwood.

Eileen. Mr. Clark.

That's right, honey. Chick Clark.

Reporter at large, New York Daily News.

Oh, how do you do?

You see, I'm pretty well known around show business

and it just so happens that the producer holding that audition is a buddy of mine.

Thanks, Chick, but I've already set it up.

But with a rehearsal pianist.

You're not gonna let this lovely little girl

walk in with that kind of introduction, are you?

That's certainly very considerate of you, Mr. Clark.

Why, don't be silly. Life wouldn't be worthwhile if we couldn't help others.

I'll just put in a call to my friend and fix it up.

- Oh, thank you. - Be right back.

Now, isn't that nice.

Eileen, I wish you wouldn't get too friendly with him.

Why?

Well,

he's a pretty smooth operator.

Oh, Frank, he's just trying to help.

Yeah, but he's not an agent. He's a reporter.

You know, I'd like him to meet Ruth.

She used to be a reporter, too, on the Columbus Courier.

Maybe he could introduce her to his editor or something, huh?

Yeah.

Well, it's all set.

You'll have to hurry. Come on, I'll walk you over.

Oh, ok. Bye, Frank.

Wait a minute. I'll come along, too.

- Good. - That's not at all necessary.

It's ok. I'm on my lunch hour in 5 minutes anyway.

- Take over, will you, Fred? - Sure, Frank.

Uh, don't you need some kind of clothes to dance in?

Oh, I've got some rehearsal shorts right underneath here.

I always come prepared.

Yeah,

you sure do.

Oh. Well?

Well, let's go.

Gee, I don't know how to thank you, Chick, going to so much trouble.

After all, you hardly know me.

Well, that's easy to take care of.

How about tonight?

Oh, I couldn't. Frank's coming to dinner.

This is it.

Hey, uh, why don't you come to dinner, too?

It's only spaghetti and meatballs,

but I'd really like to have you meet my sister.

Honey, I just love spaghetti and meatballs.

- Oh, good. About 7:00? - Right.

- Well, here we are. - Oh, gosh, I'm nervous.

Well, you don't have to be. You're gonna be great.

Sure you are. Well, you wait here, Lippencott,

while I introduce her to the boss.

Uh, don't forget to say hello to the piano player, Charlie?

Look, w-why don't you both wait for me here?

If the other girls know I've got any pull, it might be embarrassing. Ok?

Well, ok. If that's the way you want it.

- We'll wait for you. Good luck. - Thank you.

Eileen.

Don't forget to smile.

♪

Eileen.

- Well, what happened? - Did you get the job?

Did I get the...

They wanted to know if I stripped!

- What? - That's a burlesque theatre.

No.

I didn't even get a chance to audition.

He just looked at me with those beady eyes and...

I've never been so embarrassed.

You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves,

sending me to a place like that!

- But, Eileen, I didn't know about it. - You ought to be ashamed.

I didn't know anything about it.

Miss Blyth, these will be fine.

Have 5 copies sent up to Mr. Parker at once, please.

Excuse me, Mr. Baker wants to see me.

- Your name? - Ruth Sherwood.

His secretary called and said he wanted me to come right over.

H-have you any idea of what he wants?

Not the vaguest.

Mr. Baker seldom confides in me.

Miss Wilt, Miss Sherwood.

- Yes? - Miss Sherwood is here.

Oh, send her in, please.

Yes, sir.

Hi. That thing look straight to you?

Oh, a little higher on the left, I think.

Little higher on the left.

How's that?

- That's better. - All righty.

Won't you sit down?

- Thank you. - Wait a minute.

There you are. You know, Miss Sherwood,

in a year's time, I read an awful lot of stories.

I'd say about one in a thousand has any merit.

About one in every five thousand writers makes the grade.

Lately, I would have bet you it was one in a million.

Well, I told you that day in the elevator that I thought you had talent.

I still do.

There we are.

You have it when you write about something

you've had some experience with.

With which you've had some experience.

- Now, another qualification... - Oh, no, thank you.

All right. Another qualification

is perseverance, and that you've certainly got.

Even in the face of those atrocious love stories, you wouldn't give up.

Did you really kill all these animals,

or just insult them to death?

Will you please let me finish before you start swinging at me?

This story of yours, my sister Eileen, I think that's wonderful.

You do?

I do. Haven't enjoyed reading anything so much in a long time.

Now, that's charming.

It's funny. It's also very real. Now do you get my point?

Obviously, you were writing about people and incidents that you were familiar...

With which... that you had observed firsthand.

What makes you so sure?

Well,

it's my business, Miss Sherwood. Here, let me prove my point.

First, you write 3 phony love stories.

All of a sudden, you turn around and start writing

about your beautiful sister, Eileen, that has a dozen men running after her

and she's got them dangling like puppets on the end of a string,

wrapped around her little finger. Well, that's delightful.

But by comparison, those 3 love stories, they're...

Well, they're completely unbelievable.

- They are? - They are.

Now, where's the answer?

Suppose I told you I don't even have a sister?

Well, all right, then you don't have a sister,

she's a good friend of yours. Whoever she is, she's real.

I bet you my bottom buck, she's somebody you know pretty well.

Matter of fact, I'd like to know her myself. She sounds like quite a girl.

Who is she?

Well, I... I hate to admit it, Mr. Baker,

but you're a very discerning man.

It just happens that

Eileen and the inexperienced,

frustrated,

spinsterish Ruth Sherwood are one and the same.

You mean... uh, you tell me that this...

All those experiences? You?

All those men?

Well, I guess the single girls in Columbus

were happy to see you leave.

Well, it wasn't as bad as all that.

I colored the story a little.

Well, naturally.

You know, literary license.

Yeah, what...

What about that, uh,

army pilot that flew all the way from Nome, Alaska,

to bring you a birthday present?

Oh, Danny Marshall.

He always was impulsive.

Yeah, well, no wonder they voted you

the girl most likely to marry a millionaire.

Well, every girl gets voted the most likely

to do something or other, doesn't she?

Yeah.

How come you never did get married?

Well, I have to think of my career.

Miss Sherwood, would you consider having dinner with me tonight?

I-I-I-I'm sorry. I...

I'd love to,

but I have a previous engagement.

Oh, that's too bad.

Gee, couldn't you break it? I could sure break mine.

Oh, no, I couldn't. He'd be terribly upset.

Oh, I'm sure he would.

Well, the least I could do is drive you home.

No, I-I'd rather you wouldn't. I...

Frank, uh... uh, he... he said he might be early

a-a-and it might be embarrassing.

He's terribly jealous.

Well, I just said I was gonna drive you home.

You don't have to ask me up.

It's not up, it's down.

Mmm?

Oh, uh, thank you very much anyway, Mr. Baker.

Perhaps some other time.

Well, it was nice seeing you.

I'll get a hold of you about that story of yours.

Yes, uh,

thank you very much, Mr. Baker.

Just call me Bob.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry, honey.

That's all right, Helen, baby.

Say, did you ask the girls yet?

Not yet.

Boy, I sure wish you would ask em. After all, she's your mother.

All right, already, we'll ask 'em together. Come on up.

Come on.

Ruth, where have you been? I was so worried about you.

I wish you'd left me a note or something.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was in such a rush.

I got a call from Mr. Baker.

Oh, you did? What happened?

- He liked one of my stories. - Really? How wonderful!

He didn't say he'd publish it. He just said he liked it.

Oh, but that's a start. Did he like you?

He invited me to dinner.

Oh, and what did you say?

- I didn't accept. - Why not?

Oh, he's a big bore, he's fat,

getting bald.

You wouldn't like him either.

Oh, what about you?

Your drugstore friend called about an audition or something.

I know. I went. Ruth, it was just terrible.

I was furious at Frank and Chick.

- I didn't know... - Wait a minute. Frank and who?

Chick. Oh, he's a boy I met at the drugstore.

In fact, I invited him for dinner.

I'm still a little mad at him, but...

Now wait...

What...

Who is it?

Me and Helen.

Oh. Well, come in.

- Hi, Helen. - Hi.

- Hi. - Hi, Wreck.

Yeah?

Well, gee, this is a little embarrassing, but...

Well, you see, the Wreck and I have a problem.

Oh, well, we'd be glad to help if we can.

What's the matter?

Uh, well, uh,

Helen got a letter from her old lady.

She's coming here for a visit.

How nice.

Oh, it's not nice at all.

See, she doesn't know I'm sharing my apartment with a man.

Oh, but it's a perfectly innocent arrangement.

Yeah, but ma doesn't know from innocent arrangements.

So, uh,

well, we were thinking

maybe you girls wouldn't mind putting me up in the kitchen? Yeah.

In the kitchen?

There's not enough room out there to put up preserves!

He wouldn't be any trouble, really.

And it would only be for a couple of days.

And he's real handy.

Why, he could clean up and do the dishes and...

But no sewing. That's woman's work.

I guess we could put him up for a couple of days, huh?

Now, wait a minute.

- Oh, thanks, Eileen. - Gee, thanks a lot.

I just happen to have a few of my things out here.

Eileen.

Boy, you don't know what a help this is.

Gee, thanks, Ruth.

I'll bring my toothbrush tomorrow.

Something tells me you weren't quite ready

to leave Ohio.

Oh, but, Ruth, they're in love.

And besides, we'll feel a lot safer having a man in the house.

If you had your way, we'd live at the Y.M.C.A.

Something's burning.

What about this man you invited to dinner?

Oh, yes. His name is Chick Clark,

and he's a reporter on the Daily News,

and he's very attractive.

Honey, if it's all the same to you,

there's a movie I'd like to see.

Oh, but, Ruth, I invited him for you.

Why, he's very interested in your work.

Oh, sure. I bet he's so interested,

he can't wait to get you alone.

Oh, you got to get over that attitude.

How can you ever expect to fall in love if you don't meet any boys?

Who wants to fall in love?

♪ That might interfere with my career ♪

♪ And from what I hear, men are not sincere ♪

Oh, I don't think that's true at all, Ruth.

♪ Why, they're only big bad boys ♪

♪ Fellas can be fun ♪

♪ And it's wonderful ♪

♪ When you meet that certain one ♪

How do you know when you've met that certain one?

What's gonna happen? How will you feel?

How will I feel?

Oh.

Well, it'll be like, uh...

I just know.

♪ There's nothing like love ♪

♪ It's a grand, grand feelin' ♪

♪ It really is a gift from up above ♪

♪ What else in the universe ♪

♪ Thrills you so ♪

♪ Nothin' ♪

♪ No, there's nothin' like love ♪

♪ There's nothin' on earth that is more appealin' ♪

♪ Than walkin' with your fella hand in glove ♪

♪ What else gives a person that sweet, warm glow ♪

♪ Nothin' ♪

♪ No, there's nothin' like love ♪

♪ If I ever meet the boy ♪

♪ What a lucky girl I'll be ♪

♪ There might be greater joy ♪

♪ But if there is, you tell me ♪

♪ There's nothin' like love when the dawn comes stealin' ♪

♪ And suddenly the stars have lost their light ♪

♪ He'll look in your eyes and hell sigh and say ♪

♪ Thanks for a wonderful night ♪

♪ And then you're all alone ♪

♪ The sky is bright above ♪

♪ And, oh, you're so aware ♪

♪ That there is nothin' ♪

♪ No, there's nothin' like love ♪

Gee, I thought I was in love,

oh, at least a dozen times.

And while it lasted, it was beautiful.

Yeah, while it lasted.

Well, at least when the right one comes along,

I'll know it. What have you got against it?

I don't know. I guess I'm just chicken.

I know what's the matter with you.

You just haven't met the right one.

I haven't?

Uh-uh. You just wait.

One of these days, a big, handsome hero

will come charging up in a white convertible

and... and sweep you off your feet.

May I have the pleasure, Miss Sherwood?

I'd be delighted.

Uh, excuse me.

That's perfectly all right.

You're lovely tonight.

Thank you.

Let's see what we can do about splitting 3 meatballs 4 ways.

Good girl.

♪

♪ And skies are bright above ♪

♪ A girl is so aware ♪

♪ That there is nothin' ♪

♪ Oh, there's nothin' like love ♪

- ♪ Nothin' ♪ - ♪ Nothin' ♪

♪ Nothin' ♪

♪ Nothin' ♪

♪ Oh, there's nothin' ♪

Oh, did you make some salad dressing?

Uh, yes, in the blue bowl behind the milk bottle.

- You better get ready. - Oh, you're right.

I borrowed a pair of your stockings.

I hope you don't mind.

Of course not. Oh, there's one of the boys.

Hurry.

Come in.

- Hello. - How do you do?

- I'm sorry. Everybody does it. - Sorry.

We tried to fix it.

You must be Frank Lippencott.

That's right and you must be, uh, Eileen's sister.

That's what they call me.

Of course, you're a different type.

Yeah. Won't you sit down?

Whew, it's hot.

Eileen, Frank is here.

I'll be right out.

Uh, would you excuse me a minute?

Uh, she's not still mad about this afternoon, is she?

I think she'll get over it.

Eileen's been telling me about your drugstore.

Uh, she says you have awfully good food.

Oh, the best. Reasonable, too.

From what I understand, reasonable's not the word for it.

- Good evening, Mr. Lippencott. - Good evening, Eileen.

Oh, we don't have to use these...

I hope you're still not mad about this afternoon, it really wasn't my fault.

Charlie, the piano player, well, he never said a thing to me.

- I'll bet. Let's move the table. - Let me help you.

No, that's all right, we can manage.

So help me, it's the truth.

If it isn't, may I be struck dead on this spot.

What the devil was that?

Oh, come in, Mr. Clark.

Is it safe?

Oh, of course. They're just blasting for the new subway.

It doesn't happen very often.

This is my sister, Ruth.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- You still mad? - Well...

Look, I didn't know anything about that deal. I'll take an oath.

Don't do it. You'll get the surprise of your life.

Oh, no. I'm not mad anymore.

I know you two boys were just trying to help.

Well, now that we're all one big happy family,

why don't we sit down?

Oh, sure. Of course.

Oh, please.

Thank you.

Uh, d-dinner will be ready soon.

It won't be long at all.

Oh.

I wish we could offer you a drink.

So do I. Its hotter than blazes in here.

Oh, this is for you, Eileen.

It's a California burgundy-type wine. Oh.

I thought it would go good with the spaghetti.

Oh, thank you. It's a special we're running this week.

So is our spaghetti.

- I'll get the glasses and some ice. - Oh, no. No ice.

This is the kind of wine that should be served at the temperature of the room.

Then you better cook it a couple of hours.

Um, Eileen tells me you're a newspaper man, Mr. Clark.

That's right.

She tells me you write, too.

Yes.

That's quite a girl, your sister.

I've been turning her over in my mind all afternoon.

You don't say.

This is quite a studio you have here.

I've heard a lot about Greenwich Village,

but this is the first time I've ever been...

Here.

Frank! I'm so sorry.

What's the matter? What happened?

- The water wagon. - Oh, no, I'll get a towel.

- Hello, darlings. - Oh, well, don't bother to knock.

I brought the plumber to look at the wall. He'll only be a minute.

Mr. Appopolous, this is a fine time to be conscientious. Don't you see we have guests?

Oh, my apologies.

By the way, I would appreciate knowing if you intend staying on here.

A lady friend of the previous tenant

has expressed interest in this studio.

Mr. Appopolous, we can talk about this some other time.

Hey, Appopolous.

Will you excuse me for a moment, please?

Good evening.

Oh, good evening, officer.

I see you're entertaining.

I guess you could call it that.

Well, enjoy yourselves, but keep your noses clean.

What did he mean by that?

Oh, well, we've been playing the piano too loud.

I can fix it, but you've got to tear out the wall.

It's all rotted anyway. Look.

Ruth, what happened?

Anybody here like meatballs and plaster?

Oh, isn't that a shame.

I'm sorry.

Oh, well, look, look, don't worry about it.

We can go down to the drugstore and eat.

- Drugstore? - Sure.

Look, I know a great little spot near here, beautiful steaks.

And the dinner's on me. How about it?

You talked us into it.

Oh, Chick, how sweet. Well, we'll get our things.

Don't mention it.

Hey, as long as we're going to go out,

could we go some place like the El Morocco?

- El Morocco? - Uh-huh.

That's very expensive, dear.

Oh, it is? Oh, I didn't know.

Uh, the special at the drugstore is baked Virginia ham.

Oh, that sounds good.

Look, baby, you want to go to El Morocco,

El Morocco it is.

Oh, isn't it wonderful, Ruth? Oh, we won't be a minute.

♪

Oh, Chick, this is so exciting.

I've dreamed about coming to a place like this all my life.

Well, now that you've seen it, how about you and me sneakin' out of here?

I know a spot uptown that's just loaded with cozy corners.

Oh, but you seem to forget. I'm Frank's date.

You're supposed to be with Ruth.

Oh, she and that soda jerk are getting along swell.

He's not a soda jerk, he's the fountain manager.

Besides, you said you were so interested in Ruth's work

and you haven't said a word to her all evening.

Well, I am interested in her work, honey.

I'm gonna speak to my editor about her first thing in the morning.

- Promise? - Why, sure, baby.

Good parfait.

Is it? I'm glad.

Mmm. That s... that's quality ice cream.

Boy, Eileen sure is a good dancer.

Yes, she is.

She's... she's really a remarkable girl.

So pretty and talented.

She's got a healthy appetite, too.

You're really stuck on her, aren't you?

I guess a lot of fellows are, huh?

Look, if you don't mind my suggesting.

Oh, no.

Well, faint heart never won fair lady.

You mean I should take the bit in my teeth.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

That's easier said than done.

I know what you mean.

I've seen a lot of girls come in down the store since I've been workin' there.

Nice ones, too.

Never one like Eileen.

I-I-I'll never forget the first time she came in the store.

Wow. I was filling the sugar cont...

What's the matter, you dropped somethin'?

Oh... oh, y-yes, my compact.

Oh.

Well, good evening, Miss Sherwood.

- Oh, Mr. Baker. - Yeah.

Fancy meeting you here.

Uh, Mr. Baker, Mr. Lippencott.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Well, um, shall we?

Oh.

Now, may I present Miss Stewart.

Miss Sherwood, Mr. Lippencott.

This is a very pleasant surprise. Maybe you'd care to join us?

- Thanks very much, but we're with Ruth's, uh... - friends.

A-a-as a matter of fact, we were just getting ready to leave.

Oh, well, that's too bad. Well, it was nice meeting you, Lippencott.

- Lippencott. - Ruth was telling me all about you.

She was?

Yeah. She's a very remarkable girl.

I don't blame you for being jealous.

Well, good night. Nice to have seen you.

- Good night. - Good night.

He seems like a very nice fella. Very nice.

I think he's got me mixed up with somebody else though. Who is he?

He's just a fellow who's got me mixed up with somebody else.

Would you like some more coffee, madam?

No, thank you. The check please.

What's the matter? Don't you feel well?

No.

Well, how are you two lovebirds getting along?

Well, Ruth's not feeling too well.

What's the matter?

I'll have a daiquiri, please.

And a Gibson.

A daiquiri and a Gibson. Yes, Mr. Baker.

I was telling you, Mr. Powers was terribly upset

that I couldn't get the bathing suit for vogue,

but I already had a hand layout for Harper's.

With all the models in New York,

you'd think they could find one to do a simple bathing suit layout.

Mm-hm.

Everybody told me how hard it would be

to get started modeling,

but I didn't have any trouble at all.

My folks wanted me to be a stenographer,

but that takes so much studying. You know, it's really amazing

when you consider that I've only been in New York for 8 months,

and already I've had my picture on the cover of 3 of the biggest magazines.

Amazing.

Oh.

Gee, I'm sorry you don't feel well, Ruth.

Yes, that's a shame.

Why don't you take her home, Lippencott?

Oh, I feel much better now.

As a matter of fact, I feel so much better. I'd like to feel better.

Let's go some place and have a drink.

- Why, Ruth. - Why not?

There are a lot of people having a good time tonight, why shouldn't we?

Call a cab, Chick.

Get a cab.

Ruth, put your shoes on. You'll catch a cold.

Step on a crack, you break your uncle's back.

Shh. It's after 3:00.

That's why I've got my shoes off.

I'm tippy-toeing.

I don't care. You put your shoes on.

Well, that makes a... a grand total of, um,

uh, $27.52.

Half of which is, uh...

What is it?

Look at the bandstand.

They have concerts here every Tuesday night

during the summer.

Oh, it's just like Kiplinger park in Columbus.

You know, Ruth used to play the cymbals in the high school band.

- No. - Yeah.

Best little cymbal player in Kiplinger high.

Eileen was a drum majorette.

Really? Well, I played 2nd trombone at east Denver.

I was the ill wind that never blew good.

How about you?

I never played anything but the races.

Well, it's about time you learned. Come here.

You can play this. What is it?

What does it look like? It's a bass fiddle.

Of course, how stupid of me.

Eileen, did you bring your drum?

I never leave the house without it.

How about you? Let's hear a few notes.

It's beautiful.

Sound your 'A'.

- Drum. - Boom.

Trombone.

Ready?

1, 2, 3.

- Boom! - Ching!

♪ Give me a band ♪

♪ And my baby ♪

♪ And an orchestration for the syncopation ♪

♪ We're the real sensational beat ♪

♪ Give me that band and my baby ♪

♪ Lordy, that's perfection, tell it, rhythm section ♪

♪ I have no objection to heat ♪

♪ Give me that sound that makes a gal and her fella yell ♪

♪ Hot diggity dog! ♪

♪ I adore the swoony, swoony baritone ♪

♪ But tonight I want to jump to trumpets and saxophone ♪

♪ Professor, I don't mean maybe ♪

♪ When I shake a footsie with my tootsie-wootsie ♪

♪ I could dance from here to dear old Dixieland ♪

♪ Baby, give me my baby ♪

♪ And a band ♪

Once more, everybody.

Once again.

♪ I give me that sound ♪

♪ That makes a gal and her fella yell ♪

♪ Hot diggity dog! ♪

♪ I adore the swoony, swoony baritones ♪

♪ But tonight I want to jump to trumpets and saxophones ♪

♪ Professor, I don't mean maybe ♪

♪ When I shake a footsie with my tootsie-wootsie ♪

♪ I could dance from here to dear old Dixieland ♪

♪ Baby, give me my baby ♪

♪ And a good old ragtime ♪

♪ Give me some ragtime ♪

♪ Red-hot ragtime band ♪

Thank you.

Ah, did you finish it?

I think it's delightful.

Yeah, so do I. But what... Do you think it's possible?

You mean that the girl in the story and the author are one and the same?

Yeah.

Well, offhand, I'd say no.

But then you never can tell about us women. Why?

I think she kinda likes me.

I mean, why else would she try and convince me

that she's the belle of the ball, you see.

It could be she just wants to get her story published.

Oh, no.

You think so?

You never can tell about us women.

See if you can get her on the phone for me.

Hello.

Well, hello.

You and your friends have a nice time last night?

Oh, yes. Wonderful.

Good.

By the way, who was the beautiful blond?

Oh, her.

Uh, she's a... a friend of my friend's friend.

I was wondering. Are you busy for dinner tonight?

Tonight?

Well, I do want to talk to you about your stories,

and I know you must be awfully sick of nightclubs by now.

So I thought it would be nice if we just had a quiet dinner. At my place.

Oh. I think that would be charming.

Wonderful. I'll pick you up around 7:00.

Oh, no, don't do that. Uh, I'll be uptown anyway.

Uh, what's the address?

Oh, excuse me.

Just a minute.

I've... y-yes?

What is it? Yes.

I-I've got it. Yes, thank you. I've got it.

Oh, good-bye.

Another guy for Eileen?

Not if I can help it.

Which way you want these pleats turned?

Towards Mecca.

Twice. Twice.

Oh, have some more coffee.

No, thanks.

No? Oh, a little bit of Brandy.

- Yeah, I think I'd like that. - Excuse me.

- I'll clear the dishes. - No, that's all right.

Leave 'em. Here, here. Put 'em right down there.

Don't bother yourself with those. It's not necessary.

I do it at home all the time.

That's all right, the maid comes in, in the morning.

Have a seat.

You know, you're a wonderful cook.

Well, thank you. just one of my hobbies.

I'm glad you like spaghetti.

That's my favorite dish. In fact, I don't think I could live without it.

Well, I have to make a confession.

I buy my sauce down at Papa Grenucci's on the corner.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Uh, by the way, I... I did some work on that story that you liked.

I think I improved it a little bit.

Would you like to read it?

I'd love to. Later.

Well, I don't want to force the issue,

but something's come up that may make it necessary for me go to back to Columbus.

Oh, come on. Let's not talk about business now.

When do you think you could let me know?

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe tonight.

Oh, you know, I can certainly see

how you wrapped all those men around your little finger.

Bob, I'd like to explain about that.

There's nothing you have to explain about that.

That's just something with which you were born.

Ruth, you know, you and I could have a wonderful time together.

I mean, you're so intelligent, you have such a great sense of humor,

and you're well-read, appealing.

Best of all, you don't want to get married.

Oh, yes, of course. My career.

Ruth, um,

I may be taking an awful lot for granted,

but by now, you must know that you're very attractive to me,

and I only hope that I'm a little bit attractive to you.

Oh, oh, yes, certainly. You are.

Oh, let's drink to it.

To us.

♪ It's bigger than you and me ♪

♪ It's mad and yet it's right ♪

♪ One mad unforgettable night ♪

♪ Is worth a lifetime of dreams ♪

♪ We'd be fools to fight it ♪

♪ It's bigger than both of us ♪

♪ It's fate, it had to be ♪

♪ Keep the moment tender ♪

♪ Why wait, let's surrender ♪

♪ It's bigger than you and me ♪

♪ Bigger ♪

♪ Mad ♪

♪ The wildest ♪

♪ What do you say, baby ♪

♪ It's worth a lifetime of dreams ♪

♪ And we'd be fools to fight it ♪

♪ It's bigger than both of us ♪

♪ It's fate ♪

♪ It had to be ♪

♪ Keep the moment tender ♪

♪ Why wait, let's surrender ♪

♪ It's bigger than you and me ♪

Are you sure you wouldn't like to read the story now?

I know you'll like the construction better than the way it was constructed.

You see, now the construction's motivated by the character's reaction to the motivation...

You know, you could make things happen if they wouldn't, and vice versa...

Oh!

♪ Why wait, let's surrender ♪

♪ It's bigger than you ♪

♪ And me ♪

Are you sure you want to publish my story, or is this a package deal?

Come on, Ruth, don't be so naive.

I'm no different than any of the other men in Eileen's life.

Come on, twist me around your little finger. Come on, twist.

Slow down.

You've got the wrong idea about Eileen.

I have?

There may have been a lot of men in her life,

but she never handled them the way you think she did.

- Didn't she? - No, she 'didn't she.'

If you think you're gonna stuff me and hang me in your office

with the rest of your trophies,

you're fishing in the wrong stream.

Wait a minute. I just want to explain.

Ruth.

Ruth.

Thanks for the dinner and the floor show, but the prices are ridiculous.

Oh, wait. Please.

- Look, the least you can do is let me drive you home. - No.

Oh, look, now, I don't blame you for thinking that I more or less...

Oh, give me a dime.

What? Uh, I'll give you a dime. What for?

For the subway.

Aw, come on. You know this is so silly.

I just wanted to... Ruth.

Do you really think you'll have to go back home?

I'm afraid so.

Unless something happens tomorrow.

I guess I'd better go in.

I have to get up early and make the rounds again.

Thanks for the fan.

Oh, it's a special this week.

You'd be surprised what a breeze that little thing gives off.

Everybody in the store's got a cold.

Well, good night.

Eileen,

I don't have many responsibilities.

I live alone, and I'm pretty frugal.

And, uh...

Yes, Frank?

Well, I've saved a little money,

- and if I can help... - Thank you, but we couldn't.

If you could just stay,

just a little while longer,

I'm sure something good would happen.

Something good just did happen.

You're very sweet.

Good night.

Good night.

Eileen...

Oh, gee, Eileen, I wish you didn't have to go back to Ohio.

It's going to be just terrible not seeing you in the drugstore anymore.

Besides,

next week we've got a special on wedding rings.

I know how much you want a career.

I wish you all the luck in the world, but, gee...

♪ If you said that I'm the boy ♪

♪ What a lucky boy I'd be ♪

♪ There might be greater joy ♪

♪ But if there is, you tell me ♪

♪ There's nothing like love when the dawn comes stealing ♪

♪ And suddenly the stars have lost their lights ♪

♪ You look in her eyes and you sigh and say ♪

♪ Thanks for a wonderful night ♪

♪ But here I am with you ♪

♪ The moon is still above ♪

♪ And, oh, I'm so aware that there is nothing ♪

♪ No, there's nothing like love ♪

Were you there all the time?

♪ Nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin' ♪

♪ No, there's nothin' ♪

Hey, what's going on out here?

Oh, hello, Wreck.

This guy giving you any trouble?

Oh, no. Everything's just fine. I'm sorry we woke you up.

That's all right.

If you need me, you just whistle.

I will.

Who is that?

Oh, that's the Wreck. Mr. Loomis. He lives upstairs.

- Upstairs? - Uh-huh.

Why is he sleeping down there?

Oh, you see, his girl's mother just got in town and...

So he can't stay with her.

Who?

With either one.

You see, his girl works nights

and her mother doesn't know that

they're sharing the same apartment

so... so he's staying down here with us. You see?

No. Not exactly.

Are you inferring there's something wrong?

I'm not inferring anything.

I just didn't think that you and your sister

were quite that bohemian.

Bohemian?

Why, Mr. Lippencott, I'll have you know

that we come from a very fine old Ohio family,

and you've got a lot of nerve thinking what you're thinking.

And I think you'd better leave.

Look, Eileen, I didn't mean...

You heard what the lady said, buster. Get moving.

Now, just a minute, sir.

Here.

Ruth?

Oh, yes, dear.

I thought you were asleep.

No.

Where have you been?

What's the matter, honey?

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

It's just so silly.

You and Frank have an argument?

I thought he was so sweet

and kind and considerate.

But he's not at all.

He practically accused me of being a loose woman.

My date just took it for granted.

Your date?

You remember Mr. Baker?

Oh, sure.

He was the fat, bald-headed man you said you didn't like.

That's not exactly an accurate description of Mr. Baker.

Oh?

As a matter of fact,

he's beautiful.

Oh, Ruth.

For the first time in my life I met a man I...

And I thought he...

And I was wrong.

Oh, honey, you didn't tell me.

What happened?

He wants to buy one of my stories.

On conditions.

Oh.

That must've been awful.

It wasn't entirely his fault.

Your smart big sister has been acting like the village idiot.

Oh, well, it doesn't make any difference now.

Tomorrow we'll be on our way back to Columbus.

After tonight, I... I just don't care.

Neither do I.

Anyway you look at it, honey,

we just didn't make it.

I'm sorry, honey.

That's all right, Helen, baby.

She up there?

Yeah.

I'm taking her to Grant's tomb.

Why don't you leave her there?

Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

Need any help?

Well, not now, thanks.

When we finish packing, maybe you could give us a hand with the bags.

Sure, you just whistle.

Thanks.

It's not going to be the same around here without you two girls.

I wonder what people back in Columbus are going to say?

If we're lucky, they'll say hello.

I wish I hadn't made that crack at the country club.

Which particular crack?

Oh, you know.

I'll never set foot in this town again

unless it's on a personal appearance tour.

I keep thinking of dad.

All those letters I've written

saying how great we were doing.

Good morning, my dear young ladies.

I'm here to take inventory.

Inventory?

Naturally, there's always a slight possibility

that some item of value might have been damaged.

Item of value?

Listen, Papa, I could work this dungeon over with a sledgehammer

and it wouldn't look any different from the day we moved in.

Yes, and you said you were going to give us back our money

if we weren't satisfied. Well, we're not.

What are you talking about? Who said such a thing?

I was one of the witnesses, and I don't even remember.

And remember, you have until 5:00.

Oh, I wish I could stay till father's day.

I'd like to bust Papa right in the nose.

Sherwood residence.

Miss Ruth Sherwood?

Oh, who's calling please?

Yes, she's here. just a minute. W-wait a second.

It's Chick Clark's newspaper. Mr. Baines, the city editor.

- He wants to talk to you. - What does he want?

Well, I don't know.

Oh, but if it's a job, take it. It's what we came here for.

Hello.

Yes, this is she. Her. She.

What?

Oh yes, Mr. Baines.

Yes, Mr. Baines.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Baines. That's wonderful.

- Oh, yes, of course. A pencil, paper, quick. - What is he saying?

Get it, over there. Just a minute, I'll be right with you.

I'm all ready. I... I got it.

What is that, now?

Pier 63, Sands Street, Brooklyn.

Sure, sure. I understand. I'll be there. All right.

I can't believe it.

- I can't believe it! - What did he say?

He's gonna give me a chance to show what I can do.

An assignment over in Brooklyn.

Brooklyn? What happened there?

Well, there's a Brazilian training ship,

you know, like Annapolis.

And I'm supposed to go and get a human interest story.

Oh, how wonderful.

You see, Chick was some good after all.

Yes, I guess I owe Mr. Clark an apology.

I thought he was just trying to get around you.

And I still think so.

Well, do you know how to get there on the subway?

Yeah, I can handle it. Oh!

- What's the matter? - The address.

Pier 63, Sands Street, Brooklyn.

Oh, here. Good-bye, honey.

Good-bye. Good luck.

Ooh. Wreck!

Hold everything, Papa. We may not be leaving.

Oh, isn't it wonderful, Wreck?

Maybe we won't have to go away at all.

Oh, that's great, Eileen. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Oh, excuse me. I'll see you later.

Just a minute.

- Oh, Chick. - Hi, baby.

Oh, I'm so glad you came by.

I don't know how to thank you.

I mean, about Mr. Baines and everything.

- Aw, skip it. - No, really.

It's the most wonderful thing that ever happened to us.

All right. How about getting some ice?

- We'll celebrate. - Well, I'll get you some.

Hey, if Ruth does get the job, how much will they pay her?

Oh, there's no telling.

But let's forget about Ruth, huh?

And, uh, get your career straightened out?

Don't do that, Chick.

Don't be nervous, baby. Relax.

Uh, Mr. Appopolous might be showing the apartment.

So, we won't open the door.

Look, I went through a lot of trouble

to get you alone without that eagle-eyed sister of yours around.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

That phone call Ruth got was from the editor, wasn't it?

What are you worrying about? I'm handling it.

It wasn't the editor. It-it was you.

Well, look, it's gonna work out the same way.

I'm gonna hand the story into the city desk as a sample of what she can do.

Oh, you mean you sent Ruth over to Brooklyn on a wild goose chase?

Wild goose nothing. I'm letting her cover my assignment.

Now, what kind of a heel do you think I am?

Oh, what am I going to say to Ruth? She was... she was so excited.

Now, don't get tragic.

It's gonna be good experience for her.

Oh, please, Chick, leave.

Now, look, Eileen. Put yourself in my place.

Don't do that, Chick.

What's the matter with you?

Wreck! Wreck, help.

Help! Where are you?

- What's the problem? - Him.

Now, now, wait a minute, friend.

I don't want... I don't want any trouble.

You win.

You know, I look forward to the day

when the Bronx express runs right through this room.

Oh, Wreck.

It's ok. That guy won't give you no more trouble.

I don't care about him.

It's Ruth that I'm upset about.

Oh, there, there, baby. You just tell old Wreck all about it.

Well, you see, he called Ruth

and Ruth thinks she's got a job. I don't know how I'm gonna tell...

What are you looking at, you old bat?

- Wreck! - Oh, no!

Oh, Wreck, I hope she didn't think...

Hold on, Helen, baby, let me explain.

Helen, what's the meaning of this? You know that man?

Listen!

Helen, baby, wait a minute, will you?

Look, honey, I'm bleeding.

Oh.

Look, I'm sorry, I...

My newspaper.

Let me out. Hey.

Wait a minute. Will you let me out of here?

At ease.

Come on, now. Hey.

Now he fixes it.

- Hello. - Good morning, Ruth.

Now, take it easy and let me do the talking for a minute.

- I've got good news for you. - Who is this?

Who is... it's Bob.

Oh! Well, I've got some news for you, Mr. Robert Baker.

It's men like you that give men a bad name

and you're darned lucky that Ruth doesn't have a big brother

instead of a sister.

Batten down the hatches!

What is going on?

Don't encourage them. What's the Portuguese word for scram?

You mean they don't speak English?

- Not a word. - Oh, no. What do they want?

What do you think they want?

Piano!

- What cooks here? - A piano!

They chased me all the way from Brooklyn.

Most of them got lost in the subway.

I'll fix it.

Gentlemen, I'm Appopolous.

Appopolous.

I'm the owner of this building,

I must command you to leave.

What are they tossing for?

I got a hunch it's not me.

Come on, fellows, break it up.

Go away. Out. Go away.

The door, you know, out!

I don't understand. I don't want to dance.

My sister doesn't rumba.

She doesn't samba, either.

Come on, leave her alone.

Look, we don't rumba, we don't even do the conga!

Oh!

Oh, Ruth!

Ruth, do something!

Stop! Open the door.

Miss Sherwood!

Shh.

Oh.

Oh.

All right, all right, all right, more conga!

♪ La-la-la-la conga ♪

♪ La-la-la-la conga ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, conga ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, conga ♪

♪ He, he, he, he, conga ♪

♪ He, he, he, he, conga ♪

♪ Razzmatazz conga, Razzmatazz conga ♪

♪ Heca racaranto, heca racaranto, heca racaranto, conga ♪

♪ Heca racaranto, heca racaranto, heca racaranto, conga ♪

♪ Conga! ♪

♪ La-la-la-la Conga ♪

♪ Happy, happy, conga, happy, happy, conga ♪

♪ Happy, happy, conga, happy, happy, conga ♪

♪ Happy, happy, conga, happy, happy, conga ♪

♪ Happy, happy, conga, happy, happy, conga ♪

♪ Happy, happy, conga ♪

Ruth?

Is that you, Eileen?

Eileen?

Ruth?

Allo!

Papa.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Come on, let's join the party.

Conga!

If you'll just listen to me. I can explain.

Let me in there.

I've never been so mortified in all my life.

Imagine me, chairman of the women's league,

a jailbird.

My only daughter mixed up with a muscle-bound sex-fiend.

Yeah, ma, but I love him.

I can see the headlines now.

Sherwood sisters incite riot.

Create international incident with Brazil.

Oh, Frank's really gonna think I'm bohemian now.

Not that I care.

You don't care like I don't care.

- Charlie, have a heart. - I'm sorry, Wreck.

But I've got orders from the state department in Washington

to hold everyone until the matter is investigated.

Charlie, wow.

Can't I just see Helen?

Look, Wreck, don't push your luck.

I might forget I like you and toss you in with the rest of them.

Sergeant, I'm Señor Arrugio.

Consulate General of Brazil.

Oh, yes, sir.

I have an order here from the state department

for the release of the naval cadets

and all of the unfortunate people involved in the incident.

Yes, sir.

Charlie, does that mean they're gonna let Helen go?

- That's right. - Wait a minute.

Look, Helen's old lady's locked up, too.

I was wondering if you'd do me one little favor.

So, now he knows that there's a you and...

And I'm just me.

Oh, you should be ashamed of yourself.

If I were any more ashamed, I'd commit hara-kiri.

Oh, no. No, I mean, for having so little confidence in yourself.

I don't know why you want to be me.

Gosh, all my life I wished I could be just like you.

Besides, how many girls are attractive enough

to have the whole Brazilian Navy chase them?

Come on.

You mean, we're free?

That's it. Let's go.

I was beginning to feel like I belonged here.

- Which one of you is Helen? - I am.

Well, come on. You've been bailed out.

What about me?

Well, what about you?

Gee, ma, I'm sorry.

Oh!

Can we go now?

Sure. Anytime.

You'll hear from us very soon.

Yeah, it'll have to be. Thank you. Good-bye.

Now, where are our naughty boys?

We've got to figure out some way

of getting these bags to the station.

We sure haven't got enough money for a cab.

Do you think we should've let dad know we're coming?

Nah.

Just burst in the door and yell, surprise!

Come in.

Well, good afternoon there, lovely ladies.

My name is Robert Baker and I represent

the society for the rehabilitation of habitual criminals.

First off, I'd like to know which one of you is Miss Ruth Sherwood.

Don't tell me.

That's you.

And you must be her sister Eileen.

I'd know you anywhere, and I've been dying to meet you

because I must ask you about a flyer

who came all the way from Nome, Alaska,

just to bring you a birthday present?

Tell me, did that really...

Now, look what you've done.

You go right out there and apologize.

Well, I'll do a lot more than that.

In the meantime, why don't you start unpacking?

Ruth.

Ruth.

Ok, say it. I've got it coming.

Oh.

Your sister's very attractive.

She-she's beautiful, isn't she?

Yes, she's lovely.

She's got a wonderful personality.

Yeah. She's got a great figure.

- Yes. - I was thinking,

maybe we ought to run her picture along with the story.

- Huh? - That's one of the things I wanted to tell you.

Your story's going to be in next month's issue,

that is, if you agree to my terms.

That's very nice, thank you.

There's something else I want to tell you and I can't...

Oh, I remember what it was.

What was that for?

I think you're funny.

I think you're wonderful.

Really.

I think you're beautiful.

Eileen?

I, uh,

brought you a box of chocolate-covered cherries.

- They're a special. - Oh, Frank.

Miss Sherwoods. Miss Sherwood, come quickly. Very important.

Miss Sherwood, come out quickly. It's very important.

Come on, come out quickly. Very important. Come, Ruth.

Make room, please.

What's the matter? What's going on?

♪

Señoritas.

- Oh, hello. - How are you?

My government wishes to take this opportunity

to right a most disastrous wrong.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Because of your generosity and understanding,

I have the honor to present to you

the Ribbon of the Order of Brazilian Mariners, Second Class.

- Oh, why, thank you. Thank you very much. - You're welcome.

I wonder what you have to go through to get first class?

Thank you.

They wish for you to make a speech.

Oh, not me. Ruth's the speechmaker.

Go ahead, Ruth.

Well, I...

Miss Sherwood, up here.

Well, on behalf of my sister Eileen and me,

I... me, uh,

I'd like to thank you and your wonderful country

for this great honor.

Actually, we didn't do anything to deserve this.

All I did was say something about the conga.