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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,293 What's up? 2 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:51,295 Animal Planet. 3 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,839 Man, I just had the craziest dream. 4 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,966 - About what? - I don't remember. 5 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,260 - Yeah. Yeah. - I hate that. 6 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,638 - Chimpanzees are— - Morning, guys. 7 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,724 Morning, Gene. 8 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,645 What did we do last night? 9 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,815 I don't know. Wait. 10 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:15,152 - Didn't the twins have a party? - Yeah, that's it. 11 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:18,405 - The twins had a party. Right. - Right. 12 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:21,158 Were we there? 13 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:25,120 I'm assuming we were. What kind of boyfriends would we be ifwe weren't? 14 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,874 Did I get any messages? 15 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:30,918 Nope. 16 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,546 See you tomorrow, Gene. 17 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,548 Shibby. 18 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,094 - How do you know Gene? - Huh? 19 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,597 Oh, I thought he was your friend. 20 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:46,141 No, no. I don't know him. 21 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,647 - Chimpanzees are lively- - I'm starving! 22 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,196 It's... pudding. 23 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,407 I always wondered what a fridge full of pudding would look like. 24 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:06,161 Is it possible that we got so wasted last night... 25 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:10,165 that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it? 26 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,504 I'd say it's entirely possible. 27 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,842 Jesse and Chester are shibby at the moment. 28 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,178 Please leave your shibby at the beep. Shibby! 29 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,473 What happened to you guys last night? 30 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:30,310 You show up with a bunch of people, pizzas and a keg, and now our house is trashed. 31 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,313 You guys are sucky boyfriends. You're always disappointing us. 32 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:36,316 And now you're probably just sitting on the couch in your underwear- 33 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,403 - Playing stupid thumb wars- - Wearing those ridiculous army helmets... 34 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,614 And ifyou are, you've probably forgotten our anniversary. 35 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,866 Which is today. 36 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,619 That means you don't get the special treats we had in store foryou. 37 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,580 We just wanted to call and thank you guys for trashing our house. 38 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,625 - Bye! - Twins sound pissed, dude. 39 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,296 - Good thing we already bought them gifts. - Yeah. 40 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,464 So... 41 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,967 where are the gifts? 42 00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:05,137 - They must be in your car. - Right, they're in the car. 43 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:09,891 So we'll just take the gifts over to the twins' house and get our special treats. 44 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,853 What do you think they mean by "special treats"? 45 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:17,441 We've been going out with the twins for a year now, and we still haven't had sex. 46 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:21,737 "Special treats" is code for sex. 47 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,822 Of course! 48 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,116 - Special treats. - Sex. 49 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,953 - Open up, you two slackers! - Mr. Pizzacoli. 50 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,123 You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered... 51 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,667 - and I want some answers! - Uh-oh. 52 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,087 - Open up this damn door! - It's open! 53 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,259 One ofthem's smushed. 54 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,561 - Hey. - Hey. 55 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,605 Mr. Pizzacoli! Hi! 56 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,168 - How you doin'? - Thirty pizzas didn't get delivered last night! 57 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,778 If I ever found out you was taking my pizza home for your own eatin' pleasure... 58 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,280 I will crush you like a doodlebug! 59 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,450 - Look! It's an elephant! - What? 60 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,370 I guess it was the mailman. 61 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,955 You two are the most irresponsible... 62 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,000 not to mention disappointing, employees ever to work... 63 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,795 at Mr. Pizzacoli's Pronto Pizza Delivery! 64 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,589 Why, a trained dolphin could do a betterjob than you! 65 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:25,926 Well, sure, but then the pizzas would get all wet. 66 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:28,303 Look, a unicorn! 67 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,390 A unicorn? 68 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,893 Sorry. I guess it was just a regular horse. Weird. 69 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,187 I know you've been embezzling my pizza... 70 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:39,731 and I will catch you eventually. 71 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,984 And when I do, I swear to God you will never... 72 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,195 deliver pizzas in this town again! 73 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,742 - - Close one. - Yeah. 74 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:56,957 We'll go to the twins' house. We'll give them their anniversary gifts. 75 00:06:57,041 --> 00:07:01,002 And then we'll apologize for trashing their house. Then we get our special treats. 76 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,508 - Dude, where's my car? - Where's your car, dude? 77 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,556 Dude, where's my car? 78 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,518 - Where's your car, dude? - Dude, where's my car? 79 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,520 Where's your car, dude? 80 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,939 - Did I drive last night? - Yeah, I think so. 81 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:24,276 - Really? - I'm not sure. 82 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,695 Dude, where's your car? 83 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,322 Dude, it's not funny, dude. The car is gone. 84 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,033 - Yeah. - Dude, where's my car? 85 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,372 - Shut up, dude! - Look- 86 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:41,001 Okay. Look. You're right. I know what we need to do. 87 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:44,004 We need to get back into the state of mind that we were in last night. 88 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:47,841 - That way, we could retrace our steps. - Yeah. 89 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:52,387 Sense memory, simulated perception, altered-consciousness memory retrieval. 90 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,767 - Discovery Channel. - Nice. Nelson's? 91 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,769 - Shibby. - Yeah. 92 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,236 - I'm sick ofwalking, dude. - Me too. 93 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,657 Hey, it's Mrs. Crabbleman. She'll give us a ride. 94 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,659 Hey, Mrs. Crabbleman! 95 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,245 Hey! Hey! 96 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,083 Mrs. Crabbleman. 97 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,633 Fuckin' stoners. 98 00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:34,346 She must not have recognized you. Hey, it's the Binglemans. 99 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,474 - Oh, hey. - Mr. Bingleman! 100 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,436 Hey. Mr. Bingleman. 101 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,274 - Maybe we should just walk. - Yeah. 102 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:50,654 Listen, Nelson, the car is gone, and we need to do... 103 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,697 this little sense memory thing... 104 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,260 so we can get back into the state of mind we were in last night. 105 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:59,079 Deep in your consciousness you must look. 106 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:03,667 Concentrate on the knowledge inside you must. 107 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,586 Aha! Your eyes you must close. 108 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:10,048 Then you take it to the mo. 109 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:14,302 M— Mo! 110 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,350 - Mo! - Oops. 111 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,902 Concentrating you're not, dudes. 112 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,946 Sorry. 113 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,782 - Is your dog dead? - He's not dead. 114 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,326 Come here, Jackyl. Come here, boy. 115 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,121 - I don't think he's comin'. - Maybe he's deaf, dude. 116 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:45,208 Deaf he is not, dude. Come here, Jackyl. Come here, Jackyl. 117 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,378 Does he know any other tricks besides not moving? 118 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,631 Man. All right. You wanna see a trick, man? 119 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,509 Hey, Jackyl. 120 00:09:56,470 --> 00:10:00,181 Yeah. Bite down, killer. 121 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,727 Here comes the fun. All right. 122 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:09,024 Aw, good boy, Jackyl. Good boy. 123 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,484 Breathe deep. 124 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,612 There you go. 125 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:17,949 - Dude, your dog's a stoner. - Can he also bong a beer? 126 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:22,621 Pretty much all he does is lie around and smoke his pipe. 127 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,290 - Jackyl, can I see your pipe? - No, don't... 128 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:28,251 Very protective he is of his pipe. 129 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:31,755 When other people touch it, he does not like. 130 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,382 Sorry, Jackyl. 131 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,427 Yeah. See, he's sorry. 132 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:40,096 - Holy crap. - That's one psycho dog, dude. 133 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,932 - Yeah. You know what we should do now? - Eat? 134 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,602 No, eat. 135 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:49,230 Ah. Choice excellent, my friend. I'll get the keys. 136 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,919 Hey, Nelson, let me order. 137 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,922 Chinese Foooood. May I help you? 138 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,758 - I'd like to place an order. - What you like? 139 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:20,387 - Yeah, I'd like, uh, three orders of garlic chicken. - And then? 140 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,264 - And then three orders ofwhite rice. - And then? 141 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,017 And then... 142 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,353 - Oh, hey, you guys want soup? - Sure. 143 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,689 Yeah, three orders ofwonton soup. 144 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,233 - And then? - Oh, some fortune cookies too. 145 00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:37,612 - And then? - Uh... actually, I think that's about it. 146 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,657 And then? 147 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,701 No, that's it. 148 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:46,746 - And then? - No "and then." That's all I want. 149 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,541 And then? 150 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:52,252 And then— And then, um... 151 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:55,088 And then nothin' else 'cause I'm done ordering, okay? 152 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:58,258 And then? 153 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,885 Uh, no, no. See, all I want... 154 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,180 is the three orders ofthe garlic chicken and the three orders of rice. 155 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,683 - And then? - And the soup, dude. 156 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,685 Oh, and the wonton soup. 157 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,854 - And then? - And the cookies fortune. 158 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,939 And the fortune cookies, yeah. 159 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,608 So, it's just the, uh— It's the chicken... 160 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:19,571 the rice, the soup and the fortune cookies, and that's it. 161 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,865 And then? 162 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:28,288 And then, uh, you could put it in a brown paper bag... 163 00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:31,040 and put it in my hand 'cause I'm ready to eat. 164 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,168 And then? 165 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:36,588 Hey, I refuse to play your Chinese food mind games. 166 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:39,340 - And then? - No! No "and then"! 167 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,342 - And then? And then? - No "and then"! 168 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,155 - No "and then"! - And then? - No "and then"! 169 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,763 - And then? And then? - No "and then"! 170 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,682 - No! No "and then." - And theeennnn? 171 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,852 - You know, you're really starting to piss me off, lady. - And then? 172 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,605 And then— I'm gonna come in there... 173 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,232 and I'm gonna put my foot in your ass... 174 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:59,110 ifyou say "and then" again! 175 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,410 And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then... 176 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,461 And then? 177 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,464 Come on, Nelson. Just help us find my car! 178 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:22,634 You know, you didn't have to go all aggro on that speaker box. 179 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,720 Well, I'm not the one that called the Dalai Lama a fag. 180 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,724 - I was just kidding around. - Well, Nelson didn't appreciate it, okay? 181 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,186 Look. It's Christie Boner. 182 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:41,236 Wow! The hottest ofthe hot.- 183 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,364 Elfuego of all that is elfuego. 184 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,703 Did she just wave at us? 185 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:53,289 No way. She would never wave at us. 186 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,458 Then why did she just wave at us? 187 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,461 I don't know. Maybe she thinks we're other people... 188 00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,629 People she waves to. 189 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,471 - Hi, Chester. - Hi. 190 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,433 Hi, Jesse. I had a really good time with you last night. 191 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,271 Uh... me too. 192 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:20,400 - That was some crazy party, huh? - Hey, have you seen my car? 193 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,569 Well, I saw it last night. 194 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,071 I mean, I saw the back seat. 195 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,949 Oh, I'm talking about the whole thing. 196 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,887 Why don't you just buy another one with all the money you were throwin' around? 197 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:35,206 - Money? - Don't you remember you had that suitcase full of money? 198 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,792 A suitcase full of money? 199 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,420 Don't you remember giving me $500... 200 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,006 to show you my hoo-hoos? 201 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,841 Five hundred dollars? 202 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,510 - Hoo-hoos? - You mean... 203 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,470 you don't remember anything? 204 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:04,110 - How about now? - No. 205 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,154 How about now? 206 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,412 I'm a little bit fuzzy too. Maybe if I could get... 207 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,581 a little refresher course here. 208 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,588 All right. 209 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,299 - Are these losers bothering you, Christie? - No, Tommy. 210 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,927 Guys like you could never score with a chick like this. 211 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:32,430 - Stick to your own kind. - Why do you have to be such a jerk? 212 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:36,726 Next time I catch you guys bothering my girlfriend, stoner-bashing time. 213 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,937 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 214 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,813 Okay. 215 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,774 Consider this your warning. 216 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,444 Later, dudes! 217 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,451 Dude, you just touched Christie Boner's hoo-hoo. 218 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,536 Low five. 219 00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,915 Let's get out of here. 220 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,543 Chester! 221 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,672 That Christie Boner is superhot. 222 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:09,842 Where did we get a suitcase full of money, man? And why don't we have it now? 223 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,845 Maybe we deposited it in a Swiss bank account. 224 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:17,892 Now, ifwe had a ridiculous sum of money, where would we go? 225 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,478 Dude. 226 00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:28,319 Sweet. 227 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:35,034 No way we were here last night. 228 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,829 We'd never fit in at a place like this. 229 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:41,457 Look, everyone. It's Mr. Jesse and Mr. Chester. 230 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,596 Look at the tuggles on that kitten. 231 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,687 Good afternoon, Jesse, Chester. How are we feeling today? 232 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,023 A little fuzzy. 233 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:09,527 Hi, Chester. Hi, Jesse. 234 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:12,321 Did you guys enjoy yourselves last night? 235 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,616 Uh... have we met? 236 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,952 It's me— Tania. Remember last night... 237 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,371 that superspecial, slippery... 238 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,790 wet lap dance? 239 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:29,297 Uh... of course. How can I forget? 240 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,966 You want to do it again? 241 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,969 This time, it's on me. 242 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,063 Uh... ifyou say so. 243 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:56,324 Didn't I get some sort of special lap dance? 244 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,409 Did you ever. 245 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:14,008 Sweet! 246 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,010 So... 247 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:20,139 just how superspecial can a slippery lap dance be? 248 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,725 What the hell were you thinking, throwing my money around? 249 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,603 - That wasn't part ofthe plan. - You're a... 250 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,648 I'm a gender-challenged male. 251 00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:31,025 What does that mean? 252 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,570 Oh, dude, you're a dude! That's... 253 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:38,282 Ah— You... 254 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,915 It's- 255 00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:50,711 Last night, I had the two ofyou sneak a suitcase of stolen money out ofthe club. 256 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,589 - Stolen money? I— - $200,000. 257 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:57,343 - $200,000? - I gave you the suitcase and left. 258 00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:00,096 You guys were supposed to meet me, but you never showed up. 259 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,889 Where's that suitcase? 260 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,850 - I don't know. - You don't know? 261 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,362 Where's that suitcase? 262 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:19,282 - It's... in my car. - Then get it, fast... 263 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,284 or else you'll be singing soprano. 264 00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:36,174 Dude. Dude, dude! 265 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,176 - We gotta go. - What, are you crazy? 266 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,344 I'm surrounded by break-dancing strippers. 267 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,847 Seriously, dude, this is an emergency. 268 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:46,184 So is this, dude. It's a break-dancing stripper emergency. 269 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,438 - Bye! - Bye! 270 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,773 - Bye, Chester! - I love you! 271 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,359 Apparently, we were supposed to meet her with the suitcase... 272 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,570 and we just didn't show up. 273 00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,698 - Sounds like us. How wasted were we last night? - Aw, man. 274 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,742 Well, I touched Christie Boner's hoo-hoo; 275 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:05,870 we're on the hook for $200,000 that belongs to a transsexual stripper; 276 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,914 and my car is gone. 277 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:12,043 - I'd say we were pretty wasted. - Dude, we really need to find your car. 278 00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:16,172 Okay, let's see. The last place we remember being last night was- 279 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:19,759 The twins. But we can't show up without the anniversary gifts. 280 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:23,554 I got it. We'll just get 'em a little something for now. 281 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,182 And then when we find the car, we'll give 'em the real gifts. 282 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:29,644 Got a dollar- what do you got— thirty-nine. 283 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,438 - I don't know. - Trust me. 284 00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:35,233 - It's gonna be totally cool. - Okay. 285 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:41,781 We are so dead. 286 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,866 I roger that. 287 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,848 We've been cleaning all morning. What do you guys have to say for yourselves? 288 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,184 Happy anniversary! 289 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,186 Huh? 290 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,235 We ate all the dark ones 'cause we know you guys don't like those. 291 00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,946 Dark ones are the only ones we do like. 292 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:25,157 Oh, yeah. 293 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:29,620 But y-y-you— You could use the box to keep- 294 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:34,250 You'd keep... ribbons. 295 00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:38,879 You guys forgot our anniversary, didn't you? 296 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:43,551 Of course not, no. We got you guys great gifts. We just had some car trouble. 297 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,888 Yeah. But we came over here as soon as we could to help you clean up, but... 298 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:52,351 Oh, no. It looks like you're already done. 299 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:55,313 All we have to do is take out the trash. 300 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,232 Guess they haven't been outside yet. Oh. 301 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:02,361 You know what? We'll take out the trash. You guys take a nice, hot bath. 302 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:06,866 Yeah. You deserve it after all this hard work. Go ahead and pamper yourselves. 303 00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:09,493 Just don't make a mess. 304 00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:17,877 - Slow and steady, good buddy. - Ten-four. 305 00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:20,880 - You're tilting. Why are you tilting? - Sorry. 306 00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:23,632 - You gave me the heavy end. - Wait. 307 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,098 - Let it go, man. - No, we can get it. 308 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,934 No. Let it go. 309 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,437 We're not leaving it behind. 310 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,439 Okay. 311 00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,859 I'll take my shoe off. Okay. 312 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,112 Whoa! Whoa, whoa. 313 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,323 Watch it. Stop pushing! Watch it! 314 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:55,831 - Are we cool? Are we cool? - We're still cool. 315 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:07,176 Now, take your shoe off, and you get it. 316 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:12,848 - Okay. - Get it. That's it. That's it, that's it. 317 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:16,185 I got it! I got it! 318 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:18,145 Oh, my God! 319 00:23:21,441 --> 00:23:24,235 Aah! 320 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:26,487 You guys can't do anything right. 321 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:29,490 Why do you have to mess everything up? 322 00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:37,498 Oh! 323 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:44,630 Anger management. 324 00:23:44,714 --> 00:23:48,342 Yeah! Dude, we really need to find your car. 325 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,719 Hey! 326 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,805 Ow! 327 00:23:55,183 --> 00:24:00,312 Hey. Sorry about yanking you off the street like that, but we really need to talk to you. 328 00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:02,648 - Who are you guys? - My name is Zarnoff. 329 00:24:02,732 --> 00:24:04,650 This is Zabu, Zellnor... 330 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:07,236 Zelbor, Zelmina and, uh, Jeff. 331 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,405 Hey. 332 00:24:09,489 --> 00:24:11,740 To answer your question more specifically... 333 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:15,411 we are the recipients of instructions from extraterrestrials... 334 00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:17,621 regarding the interstellar path to outer space. 335 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,082 Oh. 336 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:23,919 Go ahead and laugh. We are used to being mocked. 337 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,963 Okay. 338 00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:29,550 We have been sent by our wise and powerful leader- 339 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,719 - Zoltan. - To find you... 340 00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:34,555 and recover the Continuum Transfunctioner. 341 00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:37,725 Hey... have you guys ever been to Uranus? 342 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:41,270 Yeah, it's supposed to be really nice this time ofyear. 343 00:24:41,354 --> 00:24:44,482 This is important. We intercepted an interstellar message... 344 00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:48,027 that leads us to believe that last night you were in possession... 345 00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:51,405 ofthe Continuum Transfunctioner. Where is it now? 346 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,866 - The who, what? - The Continuum Transfunctioner... 347 00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:56,827 is a very mysterious and powerful device. 348 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:59,079 - And? - And its mystery... 349 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:01,832 is exceeded only by its power. 350 00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:04,752 I'm sorry, but we don't remember a thing about last night. 351 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,754 You must be careful. 352 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:10,216 Danger follows the Continuum Transfunctioner. So says- 353 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:12,885 - Zoltan. - Zoltan. 354 00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:16,472 I'll tell you what. You know, we'll keep our eyes out... 355 00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,974 for the Continual Trans-ding-a-ling thing... 356 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:22,144 and ifwe see it, we'll give you a call. 357 00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:26,899 You must. But remember, you are in great danger. Trust no one. 358 00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:29,151 - Except for us. - Oh, yes. 359 00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:32,571 Thank you, Jeff. Good point. Trust no one, except for us. 360 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,323 Zoltan. 361 00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:43,207 Wait a second. Let's recap. 362 00:25:43,291 --> 00:25:47,378 Last night, we lost my car; we accepted stolen money from a transsexual stripper; 363 00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:50,714 and now some space nerds want us to find something we can't pronounce. 364 00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:54,134 I hate to say it, Chester, but maybe we should cut back on the shibbyin'. 365 00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:58,430 Thanks, dude. 366 00:25:58,557 --> 00:25:59,557 Oh, good! 367 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:03,102 - You're right on time. You pick up special suits. - Huh? 368 00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:05,938 Mr. Lee, tailor, make special suits for you. 369 00:26:06,022 --> 00:26:08,482 Come on! 370 00:26:12,862 --> 00:26:17,157 Ohh! Dude, you got a tattoo! 371 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,910 What? So do you, dude! 372 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,621 No! 373 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:24,957 - Dude, what does my tattoo say? - "Sweet"! 374 00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:28,168 - What about mine? - "Dude." What does mine say? 375 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:36,253 - "Sweet. " What about mine? - "Dude. " What does mine say? 376 00:26:38,221 --> 00:26:40,180 "Sweet"! What about mine? 377 00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:42,308 "Dude." What does mine say? 378 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:45,227 Sweeeet-ah! What about mine? 379 00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:48,314 Duuude-ah! What does mine say? 380 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:51,191 Sweeeet! I've had it. 381 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:54,945 Idiots! 382 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:58,115 Your tattoo says "dude." Your tattoo says "sweet." 383 00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:01,118 - Got it? - Oh. 384 00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:04,121 - Ai-yah! - Sorry. 385 00:27:04,205 --> 00:27:06,373 Hey... 386 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,460 Sorry. Sorry. 387 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,094 - Shibby! - Very sharp. Very sharp. 388 00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:21,889 You two number one, extra-special, very good-looking guys. 389 00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:24,016 - We bought these last night? - Yeah. 390 00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,602 You were pretty- last night. 391 00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:28,979 - How much are these? - You already paid for. 392 00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:33,484 I just do some minor alterations-you know, add the secret pockets you order. 393 00:27:33,568 --> 00:27:37,613 Hey, maybe we got the Continual Trans-sphincter. What's- 394 00:27:37,697 --> 00:27:39,615 Oh, dude! 395 00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,954 Dude! 396 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,755 Sweet! 397 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:14,400 - Cool. - Excuse me, but how did we pay for these suits? 398 00:28:14,484 --> 00:28:16,527 You pay cash. Cold, hard cash. 399 00:28:16,611 --> 00:28:19,321 Crispy, new hundred dollar bills. 400 00:28:19,406 --> 00:28:22,616 You didn't, by chance, see what car we were driving, did you? 401 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,868 Me? No, I don't see no car. 402 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,042 Hello. 403 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:36,338 Dude, we bought cell phones. 404 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,635 That's not all we bought, dude.- 405 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:30,476 Shibby! 406 00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:51,849 Man, I cannot believe we leased a car last night. God! 407 00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:54,685 - But who's Johnny Potsmoker? - That's my alter ego. 408 00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:57,813 - Wait. No, I thought that was my alter ego. - No! 409 00:30:57,897 --> 00:31:00,858 That's my alter ego. Your alter ego is Smokey McPot. 410 00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:03,735 Oh, yeah. 411 00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:07,030 Dude, you're never gonna figure that thing out. 412 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:10,409 Okay, dude. There it is. Break time's over. 413 00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:12,411 Time to find my car. 414 00:31:12,495 --> 00:31:14,955 This is impossible. 415 00:31:15,081 --> 00:31:17,791 Are you Jesse and Chester? 416 00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:22,129 - Huh? - Are you Jesse and Chester? 417 00:31:23,339 --> 00:31:25,257 Uh... I don't know. Why? 418 00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:30,137 Ifyou are Jesse and Chester, perhaps we will give you erotic pleasure. 419 00:31:30,221 --> 00:31:32,306 - That's us. - Right here. 420 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:36,685 - We are looking for the Continuum Transfunctioner. - Who are you guys? 421 00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:39,479 We are not guys. We are hot chicks. 422 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:42,232 She's totally right. 423 00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:46,320 The Continuum Transfunctioner is a very mysterious and powerful device. 424 00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:50,365 - And? - And its mystery is only exceeded by its power. 425 00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:53,827 Well, that doesn't really help. 426 00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:17,059 We will give you pleasure now ifyou give us the Continuum Transfunctioner. 427 00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:20,062 Let me get your proposition straight. 428 00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:22,439 First, you give us the... pleasure... 429 00:32:22,523 --> 00:32:24,858 then we give you the Continuum Transfunctioner? 430 00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:28,028 No. First, you give us the Continuum Transfunctioner... 431 00:32:28,112 --> 00:32:30,280 then we give you the pleasure. 432 00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,950 I've heard that one before. 433 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,077 Look. How about this? 434 00:32:35,161 --> 00:32:38,455 You give me pleasure... 435 00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:40,791 then we'll give you the Continuum Transfunctioner. 436 00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:43,627 - Then, ifthere's time, you could take care of my friend. - Deal. 437 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:46,546 - Sweet! Oh, thank you. - Will you wait a second, please? 438 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:49,967 Come here. Dude, those space nerds told us not to trust anybody. 439 00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:54,680 Yeah. But, for the love of God, they're offering us oral pleasure. 440 00:32:54,764 --> 00:32:56,932 Wh... 441 00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,934 Okay. 442 00:32:59,018 --> 00:33:01,436 Hey, where did the hot chicks go? 443 00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:05,232 Where's my money, boys? 444 00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:09,778 Uh, we were just going to get it. 445 00:33:09,862 --> 00:33:13,407 You guys picked the wrong transsexual stripper to screw with. 446 00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:15,450 - You're pinching me. - Ha! 447 00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:19,037 Let's see what the cops have to say about this, huh? 448 00:33:19,122 --> 00:33:21,206 You're busted. 449 00:33:21,290 --> 00:33:23,917 Busted! B-U-S-T. 450 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,461 Busted! 451 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:29,006 What the-Chester! 452 00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:31,466 I saw this on Cops! Hit hard and hit back! 453 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:35,012 - Bye-bye, boys. - Can you put on the siren? 454 00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:39,516 So, you're sticking to the "I don't remember" crap? 455 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,518 Yeah. We don't remember. 456 00:33:41,602 --> 00:33:44,604 Last night, your car was spotted leaving the scene of a major drug deal. 457 00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:47,274 Wait. You found my car? 458 00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:50,902 Believe me, you guys got more important things to worry about right now. 459 00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:54,531 Where were you between the hours of midnight and 2:00 a. m. last night? 460 00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:58,660 I told you. Okay, we— We don't remember anything. 461 00:33:58,745 --> 00:34:03,206 I see we're gonna have to do this the hard way. 462 00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:07,669 Where were you last night between the hours of midnight and 2:00 a. m.? 463 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,880 We-We don't know. 464 00:34:18,514 --> 00:34:21,016 What the... 465 00:34:24,854 --> 00:34:28,356 - Now do you remember? - No. 466 00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:40,494 - How about now? - No. 467 00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:52,172 Hey! Leave him alone! He doesn't know anything! 468 00:34:53,966 --> 00:34:57,219 - Now are you ready to talk? - Dude, we don't remember. 469 00:34:57,303 --> 00:35:01,056 Okay. Here are the whips you guys wanted. 470 00:35:01,974 --> 00:35:03,767 Hey. 471 00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:06,645 - It's the doughnut guys. - Huh? 472 00:35:06,729 --> 00:35:09,166 These two were at the Frenchy Donut House last night when me and Louie came in. 473 00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:11,877 We started talkin', and they ended up buying doughnuts for the whole precinct. 474 00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:14,861 Oh. What time did all this happen? 475 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:18,323 Uh, let's see. Must've been between midnight and 2:00 a. m. 476 00:35:18,407 --> 00:35:24,204 Damn! You can't be the guys we're looking for. Sorry. 477 00:35:30,002 --> 00:35:31,920 Hang in there, bro. 478 00:35:32,004 --> 00:35:35,590 Come on, Kojak. Moron. 479 00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:38,301 Listen, I'm really sorry about all this. 480 00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:41,054 Looks like it was a case of mistaken identity. 481 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:45,559 Actually, those are the real criminals over there. 482 00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:48,145 One of our officers made the wrong identification. 483 00:35:48,229 --> 00:35:52,566 Yeah. Uh, that— I'm— That was me. I'm sorry about that one, fellas. 484 00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:55,861 Rick here will tell you exactly where your car is. 485 00:35:57,196 --> 00:35:59,614 - We found the car. - We found the car. 486 00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:02,450 We found the car! 487 00:36:04,871 --> 00:36:08,540 Now we get the anniversary gifts, go to the twins' house and get our "special treats." 488 00:36:08,624 --> 00:36:12,752 Sweet! All right, Rick, give us the keys, and we're outta here. 489 00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,796 You got it. 490 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:18,425 Oh, boy. 491 00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:21,052 - Oh, boy. - What's the problem, Rick? 492 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:24,181 Nothin'. I just, uh— Boy. Okay. Geez. 493 00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:27,392 Ah, la-la, mm. Okay. 494 00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:30,395 Did you guys say you wanted your car back or you wanted it impounded? 495 00:36:30,479 --> 00:36:34,441 - Uh... we want the car back, please. - Oh, I see. 496 00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:37,444 That's kind of funny because what happened was... 497 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:41,573 I accidentally sent y-your car, uh, to the impound. 498 00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:44,576 - Rick. - I know. Uh, I can definitely tell you this: 499 00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:48,163 that you guys can get the car back in a couple of days. 500 00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:51,041 We don't have a couple of days. We need the car back now. 501 00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:53,960 Yeah. Say, uh... 502 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:57,255 how about a treat, a nice Bavarian cream? 503 00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:01,468 That's a good one there. 504 00:37:01,552 --> 00:37:05,013 - It's good. - It's great. I have a lot ofthem. 505 00:37:05,097 --> 00:37:07,766 - All right, Rick. Forget about it. Psych. - Okay, sure. 506 00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:09,851 Oh! Geez. You got me. 507 00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:12,312 Hey, fellas, who's the goose? Me. 508 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,147 You're such a jokester. 509 00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:18,276 And one. 510 00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:20,987 And two. Damn! 511 00:37:21,072 --> 00:37:23,281 Have you seen Jesse and Chester? 512 00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:26,409 - What? - We are looking forJesse and Chester. 513 00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:31,539 I don't know where those two slackers are, but I bet you those punks over there do. 514 00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:35,502 So, then, remember, I said, "Later, dudes!" 515 00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:40,423 What are you doing hanging out with those jerks, anyway? 516 00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:43,927 They were just being nice to me, unlike someone I know. 517 00:37:44,011 --> 00:37:46,772 Maybe it's time I find someone who has a more sensitive side to him... 518 00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:49,975 someone who respects me as a person. 519 00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:52,936 Maybe somebody like Jesse or Chester. 520 00:37:54,563 --> 00:37:59,067 Okay, guys, listen up. We're gonna find Jesse and Chester. 521 00:37:59,151 --> 00:38:01,945 And when we do, stoner-bashing time. 522 00:38:02,029 --> 00:38:04,990 - Do you knowJesse and Chester? - Who are you? 523 00:38:05,074 --> 00:38:08,410 - We are hot chicks. - Yes, you are. 524 00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:11,538 We believe Jesse and Chester have the Continuum Transfunctioner. 525 00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:16,876 However, ifyou recover the Continuum Transfunctioner from them and bring it to us... 526 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:19,379 we will give you erotic pleasure. 527 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:22,299 You've got yourselves a deal. Okay, guys. Okay, guys. 528 00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:26,761 New plan. First, we find those stoners, get the Continuum Transfunctioner... 529 00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:29,347 then it's jerk-bashing time! 530 00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:32,475 - Yeah! - Oh, yeah. 531 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,937 I just remembered where you might be able to find Jesse and Chester. 532 00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:38,064 We'll send those chicks to meet the twins. 533 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:40,900 That'll put these dudes in some hot water. 534 00:38:43,362 --> 00:38:46,489 Try it again, and just knock it out ofthe park. 535 00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,867 All right. Give it a shot. 536 00:38:48,951 --> 00:38:50,994 You almost got it that time. 537 00:38:51,078 --> 00:38:54,497 Now, just concentrate on the beep, swing as hard as you can... 538 00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:57,000 and keep your ear on the ball, okay? 539 00:38:57,084 --> 00:38:59,836 All right. You can do it. 540 00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:05,216 I did it! I hit it! I hit it! 541 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:07,385 I did it! 542 00:39:10,723 --> 00:39:14,059 - Do you knowJesse and Chester? - Pardon me? 543 00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:16,644 We are looking forJesse and Chester. Have you seen them? 544 00:39:16,729 --> 00:39:20,440 - Who are you? - We are extremely hot chicks with large breasts. 545 00:39:20,524 --> 00:39:23,193 Really? 546 00:39:23,277 --> 00:39:27,072 Do you mind if I touch your face? It's the only way I can see who I'm talking to. 547 00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:29,157 Okay. 548 00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:33,995 Wow. You are hot. 549 00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:43,505 Is this... normal? 550 00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:47,342 Oh, yeah. This is how blind people shake hands. 551 00:39:47,426 --> 00:39:49,344 - All right, Sammy. You're up next. - Okay- 552 00:39:49,428 --> 00:39:51,888 What the-Sis. 553 00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:55,725 Excuse me. A little help. Wanda? Wilma? 554 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:58,395 Anthony. Anthony, what is going on? 555 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:02,107 Uh, nothing. I was just reading. 556 00:40:02,191 --> 00:40:04,859 Bye, ladies. I need to be alone now. 557 00:40:04,944 --> 00:40:08,321 - We are looking forJesse and Chester. - Who are you guys? 558 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:10,323 We are not guys. We are hot chicks. 559 00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:13,868 We are supposed to meetJesse and Chester later, but we cannot wait. 560 00:40:13,953 --> 00:40:17,330 - Well, we don't know where they are. - And, frankly, we don't care. 561 00:40:22,378 --> 00:40:24,963 - Dude, let's call Nelson. - Yeah. 562 00:40:25,047 --> 00:40:27,549 See if he's home. 563 00:40:27,633 --> 00:40:30,677 Hello? 564 00:40:30,761 --> 00:40:34,639 - Hey, Nelson, it's Chester. - Hey, Chester. No, it's me— Tommy. 565 00:40:34,723 --> 00:40:37,392 Your buddy Nelson's busy at the moment. 566 00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:40,728 This is bad karma, boys. 567 00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:43,815 Why don't you tell me where that Continuum Transfunctioner is. 568 00:40:43,899 --> 00:40:46,443 Uh... no hablo English. 569 00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:49,946 Your idiot friend's dead meat unless I get that Continuum Transfunctioner. 570 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:53,199 Jackyl! Get your pipe! 571 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:55,785 Ohh! My balls! 572 00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:59,164 - What was that? - Tommy's gotten to Nelson. 573 00:40:59,248 --> 00:41:02,792 He knows about the Continuum Transfunctioner. 574 00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:05,545 Those double-crossing sexy, sexy sluts! 575 00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:12,177 I am so sick of hearing about this Continuum Transfunctioner thing. 576 00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:16,473 - If one more person— - Have you found the Continuum Transfunctioner? 577 00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:21,644 - Who are you guys? - We are the Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner. 578 00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:25,356 It is all that stands between the universe and completely violent destruction. 579 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:28,026 It is a very mysterious and powerful device. 580 00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:31,154 And its mystery is only exceeded by its powers. 581 00:41:31,238 --> 00:41:32,780 - We know. - And we don't have it. 582 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:35,325 - But the universe. - Screw the universe. 583 00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:44,125 "Screw the universe"? 584 00:41:49,215 --> 00:41:51,174 Ahh! 585 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:56,763 Hai-yah! 586 00:41:56,847 --> 00:42:00,016 Chimpanzees often use sticks as crude tools. 587 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:02,435 That is one smart primate. 588 00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:08,316 - Hey. - Hey. 589 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,318 What are you guys doing here? 590 00:42:10,402 --> 00:42:13,404 We just wanted to see how that car trouble thing was going. 591 00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:15,406 Oh, the car. 592 00:42:15,491 --> 00:42:18,535 - It's... in the shop. - Really? 593 00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:21,538 Is that that shop run by those beautiful women in blackjumpsuits? 594 00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:23,915 The ones you were hanging out with earlier today? 595 00:42:23,999 --> 00:42:26,417 Well, you see, uh... Jesse thought- 596 00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:29,546 Today's our anniversary, and not only do you not have gifts... 597 00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,006 - But you guys ditch us for- - Some big-breasted bimbos- 598 00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:35,468 - While we were cleaning our house, which you trashed— - About that... 599 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:38,221 - Twice. - You guys are sucky boyfriends. 600 00:42:38,305 --> 00:42:41,641 - But— - We just wanted to tell you guys in person that... 601 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:43,810 It's over. 602 00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:47,981 - Wilma. - Thank you, Wanda. 603 00:42:57,741 --> 00:42:59,909 They're totally right. 604 00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:01,995 We are sucky boyfriends. 605 00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:06,708 - Do you even remember what kind of gifts we got them? - No. 606 00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:09,919 - I bet we got them sucky gifts. - Yeah. 607 00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:13,673 We suck. 608 00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:22,307 Wait a second. I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. 609 00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:25,310 Maybe you should go sit on the toilet. 610 00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:28,438 No. No. You know what the feeling is? 611 00:43:29,648 --> 00:43:32,233 It's love. 612 00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:34,611 - Is that what that is? - Yeah. 613 00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:38,406 - I'm in love with Wanda, and you're in love with Wilma. - Yeah. 614 00:43:38,490 --> 00:43:41,576 See, now that we know that we've been sucky boyfriends... 615 00:43:41,660 --> 00:43:44,662 - we can change. - We can? 616 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:47,582 Yeah. And you know what else? I'll bet you... 617 00:43:47,666 --> 00:43:50,001 that we did buy them supercool anniversary gifts. 618 00:43:50,085 --> 00:43:51,961 - You know why? - Uh-uh. 619 00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:54,922 - 'Cause we love them. - Are they wrapped in really cool wrapping paper? 620 00:43:55,007 --> 00:43:57,467 Yeah. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 621 00:43:57,551 --> 00:44:01,304 We're gonna go down to the impound lot and get the car, which has the gifts in it. 622 00:44:01,388 --> 00:44:05,266 And then we're going to go to the twins' house and beg for them to take us back. 623 00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:07,727 Yeah! Let's do it! 624 00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:10,396 Oh! No. Hold on. 625 00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:12,774 - I gotta take a crap. - Told you. 626 00:44:12,858 --> 00:44:14,651 - I know. - I know your body. 627 00:44:26,246 --> 00:44:30,375 Boys, I got some good news. We just got your car in this morning. 628 00:44:30,459 --> 00:44:32,377 All right! 629 00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:37,215 But the bad news is, not only did Officer Boyer send your car to the impound... 630 00:44:37,299 --> 00:44:40,802 he tagged it for auction, and it was sold this afternoon. 631 00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:43,680 Rick! 632 00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:47,100 - Do you know who bought the car? - I happen to have the address right here. 633 00:44:47,184 --> 00:44:49,143 All right! 634 00:44:49,228 --> 00:44:53,523 But it'd be against regulation 457XY2-665... 635 00:44:53,607 --> 00:44:55,525 to give it to you. 636 00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:58,611 Come on. Ifyou could just... 637 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:01,656 Reaching onto this side ofthe counter is not allowed. 638 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:05,535 The last guy who tried it ended up with three broken fingers. 639 00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:11,249 - You can reach it. - You can reach it! 640 00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:14,293 No. I got- One ofthese has carpal tunnel. 641 00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:17,004 What if I further injure myself? 642 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:19,173 I have to do everything! 643 00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:23,553 Well, I'm a better lookout. My vision's better. You know that. 644 00:45:23,637 --> 00:45:25,638 Come on. 645 00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:28,224 That's it. That's it. 646 00:45:28,308 --> 00:45:30,560 Ah! Got it! 647 00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:33,104 Go ahead. We're good. Come on. 648 00:45:34,648 --> 00:45:37,066 - What are you doing? - Dude, I'm stuck! 649 00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,193 Oh, come on! 650 00:45:39,278 --> 00:45:41,529 - You're seriously stuck? - I'm stuck! 651 00:45:41,613 --> 00:45:44,490 Don't! 652 00:45:45,701 --> 00:45:48,870 Dude, here she comes. Help! Get it! 653 00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:59,338 Hold it. I got it. 654 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,340 Okay, okay. 655 00:46:03,177 --> 00:46:05,261 - Dude, help me! - I got it. I got it. 656 00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:07,889 We'll spit on it. You know, lubrication. 657 00:46:07,973 --> 00:46:09,891 - That's gross, dude! - Fine. 658 00:46:09,975 --> 00:46:12,351 - Here she comes. - Spit! Spit! 659 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,397 Good news, guys. 660 00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:20,276 I talked to my supervisor, and he said I could give you the address after all. 661 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,820 That's great. That's great. 662 00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:25,198 But the bad news is... 663 00:46:25,282 --> 00:46:29,076 I'm gonna have to confiscate your pinky. 664 00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:48,262 All right, next stop: Find my car. 665 00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:52,058 Hey, check it out. Totally gay Nordic dudes at three o'clock. 666 00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:02,652 Wait. I got an idea. 667 00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:05,863 We just go over there and ask for the Continuum Transfunctioner? 668 00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:08,658 - Yeah. It's that easy. - Thank you both very much. 669 00:47:08,742 --> 00:47:12,495 - Hey, don't mention it. - See you around the galaxy, dudes. 670 00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:18,918 Time to get your car, dude. 671 00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:36,102 Those creepy space nerds are back, dude. 672 00:47:39,314 --> 00:47:41,858 Dude, do not worry about them. 673 00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:44,068 - They're totally harmless. - Oh. 674 00:47:46,572 --> 00:47:48,531 - Ohh! - Ohh! 675 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:06,007 Now may I have the Continuum Transfunctioner? 676 00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:08,342 Not quite yet. 677 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:12,889 Would you consider giving it to me while I continue to give you pleasure? 678 00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:15,641 Um... okay. 679 00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:19,604 - Wake up, dude. - Oral pleasure? 680 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,731 What? 681 00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:24,150 Nothing. 682 00:48:24,234 --> 00:48:27,653 Get dressed. We're going to the big house. 683 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:34,201 - Nice outfits. - They're not outfits. 684 00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:36,871 They're interstellarjumpsuits. 685 00:48:36,955 --> 00:48:39,707 - Hey, nice interstellarjumpsuits. - Yeah. 686 00:48:47,299 --> 00:48:49,967 - Wow! - Nice place. 687 00:48:50,052 --> 00:48:52,261 Is this where Zoltan... 688 00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:54,847 - Is this where Zoltan hangs out? - No. 689 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:58,351 This is his parents' house. We're going over there. 690 00:49:00,270 --> 00:49:02,563 - A barn? - Is it red? 691 00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:05,274 - No. - Then it's not a barn. 692 00:49:10,822 --> 00:49:13,950 - This is creepy. - It's like a country music video. 693 00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,912 All right. That's far enough. You, there. 694 00:49:17,996 --> 00:49:21,332 You, over there. No messing around. 695 00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:23,542 Okay, remember which one it is? 696 00:49:24,878 --> 00:49:29,715 Psst! 697 00:49:35,305 --> 00:49:37,348 No. Here, let me show you. 698 00:49:37,432 --> 00:49:39,809 - I'll do it. - It's that one. 699 00:49:39,893 --> 00:49:41,769 Grab the f- 700 00:49:41,853 --> 00:49:44,730 Keys. 701 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:48,901 Grab the fire extinguisher... 702 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:51,612 and you bonk those dudes on the head. 703 00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:56,659 You want the fire extinguisher? 704 00:50:04,501 --> 00:50:07,169 No. 705 00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:09,630 - Enough. - No, it's that one. 706 00:50:09,715 --> 00:50:11,632 Fudge! 707 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:30,192 Oh, cool. 708 00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:33,446 - What are you, deaf? - Hey, you don't have to be mean, okay? 709 00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:36,532 How are we gonna get outta here? 710 00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:51,630 Oh! Oh. 711 00:50:52,966 --> 00:50:55,092 Your attention, please. 712 00:50:55,177 --> 00:50:59,305 Our imperial commander, Zoltan, requests your presence... 713 00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:03,809 in the Alpha Centauri Rec Room for a Level Seven meeting. Uh, over. 714 00:51:24,831 --> 00:51:28,667 It is now my great pleasure to present to you... 715 00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:32,171 our wise and powerful leader... 716 00:51:32,255 --> 00:51:35,966 - Zoltan. - Zoltan. 717 00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:38,219 Zoltan!- 718 00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:52,608 The time has come, you guys.- 719 00:51:58,448 --> 00:52:01,283 We are finally going to fulfill... 720 00:52:01,368 --> 00:52:04,787 our prophecy of outer space travel. 721 00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:08,624 - Zoltan! - They laughed at us when we said that aliens existed... 722 00:52:08,708 --> 00:52:11,502 and they mocked us when we started wearing bubble wrap jumpsuits. 723 00:52:11,586 --> 00:52:14,588 But who's laughing now, huh? 724 00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:20,261 I'll tell you who's laughing now-we are! 725 00:52:20,345 --> 00:52:24,431 - Zoltan! - Soon we will leave this lame planet... 726 00:52:24,516 --> 00:52:28,269 and fly through outer space... 727 00:52:28,353 --> 00:52:30,771 with cool aliens who like us. 728 00:52:30,856 --> 00:52:33,190 It is going to be... 729 00:52:33,275 --> 00:52:36,277 - awesome! - Zoltan! 730 00:52:37,571 --> 00:52:40,281 Huh? 731 00:52:40,365 --> 00:52:44,285 That's them! They knocked us out and stole our spacesuits. 732 00:52:44,369 --> 00:52:47,079 - No, we didn't. - Yeah, you did! 733 00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:49,248 - No, we didn't. - Yes, you did! 734 00:52:49,332 --> 00:52:50,875 - No, we didn't. - Yes, you did! 735 00:52:50,959 --> 00:52:54,587 Hey, who are you gonna believe, us or them? 736 00:52:58,049 --> 00:53:01,010 So you're Jesse and Chester. 737 00:53:01,094 --> 00:53:03,971 I've been looking forward to meeting you guys... 738 00:53:04,055 --> 00:53:07,516 although... I'm sorry it had to be like this. 739 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:10,019 - Chester! - Jesse! 740 00:53:10,103 --> 00:53:11,937 - Wanda. - Wilma. 741 00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:15,399 Normally, we would never resort to violence, but we are dealing with... 742 00:53:15,483 --> 00:53:17,985 the Continuum Transfunctioner, after all. 743 00:53:18,069 --> 00:53:20,613 Ifyou don't deliver it to us... 744 00:53:20,697 --> 00:53:22,364 your girlfriends are history. 745 00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:25,367 - Uh-oh! - Don't worry, girls. 746 00:53:25,452 --> 00:53:28,370 - We'll save you. - Yeah. You can depend on us. 747 00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:31,248 Enough! 748 00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:35,419 Go now and bring us the Continuum Transfunctioner. 749 00:53:35,503 --> 00:53:38,380 And... be quiet on your way out. 750 00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:40,883 My parents are taking a nap. 751 00:53:51,519 --> 00:53:54,480 And then you can just tell us where the Continuum Transfunctioner is. 752 00:53:54,564 --> 00:53:58,108 - And then? - And then we'll be able to go and get it? 753 00:53:58,193 --> 00:54:00,819 And then? 754 00:54:02,822 --> 00:54:05,699 Can I get an order of shrimp fried rice? 755 00:54:06,785 --> 00:54:08,702 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 756 00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:11,330 I don't see the car. You sure this is the place? 757 00:54:11,414 --> 00:54:15,668 Your car better be in there. I almost lost my pinky to get that info. 758 00:54:15,752 --> 00:54:20,923 Aw, man. I'm sensing something very Canadian about this place. 759 00:54:26,221 --> 00:54:28,222 Plan "B." 760 00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:34,687 All right. Are you ready? 761 00:54:34,771 --> 00:54:36,772 Let's do this. 762 00:54:36,856 --> 00:54:40,192 One, two, three. 763 00:54:46,783 --> 00:54:49,243 I'm okay. You okay? 764 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:52,621 - Shibby. - Shh. 765 00:54:58,336 --> 00:55:00,379 Ow! 766 00:55:02,799 --> 00:55:04,883 Shh, shh. 767 00:55:26,740 --> 00:55:29,825 Dude... it's a llama. 768 00:55:29,909 --> 00:55:32,995 It's not a llama. It's an ostrich. 769 00:55:33,079 --> 00:55:36,165 Okay. Okay. Okay. 770 00:55:36,249 --> 00:55:40,794 Very slowly, let's turn around, and go back the other way. 771 00:55:40,879 --> 00:55:43,005 Okay. 772 00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,594 New plan. 773 00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:52,931 We turn around again... very slowly... 774 00:55:53,016 --> 00:55:55,142 and go back the other way. 775 00:55:55,226 --> 00:55:57,436 Okay. 776 00:56:02,525 --> 00:56:04,777 Dude, they're everywhere. 777 00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:11,325 - What now? - Hey. I saw this thing... 778 00:56:11,409 --> 00:56:13,660 about ostriches on AnimalPlanet. 779 00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:15,954 - They're llamas, dude. - No. 780 00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:20,667 What you're supposed to do is stand very still... 781 00:56:20,752 --> 00:56:23,962 and eventually they'll get bored and go away. 782 00:56:26,883 --> 00:56:30,302 I think it's working. 783 00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:40,270 Stupid llamas! 784 00:56:42,649 --> 00:56:44,983 Chester! 785 00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:51,240 Let's get in this car! 786 00:56:51,324 --> 00:56:53,826 Chester! 787 00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:57,788 - What do ostriches eat? - Why? 788 00:56:57,872 --> 00:57:00,707 Well, like, ifthey eat peanuts... 789 00:57:00,792 --> 00:57:03,794 then we can just throw them a peanut, and then they'll go away. 790 00:57:03,878 --> 00:57:08,340 - We don't have any peanuts. - Great. We're screwed! 791 00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:20,060 They're leaving. It worked! 792 00:57:20,145 --> 00:57:22,938 - What worked? - Whatever we did. 793 00:57:39,622 --> 00:57:42,791 Now may I have the Continuum Transfunctioner? 794 00:57:44,085 --> 00:57:47,588 - Not quite yet. - Please? 795 00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:54,344 Scary dream, huh? What's up? My name's Mark. 796 00:57:56,222 --> 00:57:59,516 - Where are we? - You're in the punishment room. 797 00:57:59,601 --> 00:58:02,519 This is where he likes to keep the ostrich poachers. 798 00:58:02,604 --> 00:58:05,647 - Poachers? - Yeah, that's right. 799 00:58:05,732 --> 00:58:10,402 I've been in this cage for about three years, five months and seventeen days... 800 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:13,280 but who's counting? 801 00:58:13,364 --> 00:58:15,365 How's my breath? 802 00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:18,410 That bad, huh? 803 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:21,663 Where you guys from? I'm from Connecticut. Hi. Mark. 804 00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:24,249 - There we go. - Ow! 805 00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:26,418 Chester, get him off! 806 00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:28,921 Pierre! 807 00:58:29,005 --> 00:58:32,799 Oh, hi. No, that's not what it looks like. 808 00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:36,178 - Maybe a little bit. How was your nap? - Shut up! 809 00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:38,889 Well, somebody sure is a grumpy Gus today. 810 00:58:41,267 --> 00:58:45,854 In France, when a man is caught poaching ostriches... 811 00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:50,901 we shave his head, and we make him to run through the fields. 812 00:58:50,985 --> 00:58:55,197 - Oh, God. That's the good part. - Once you have seen this- 813 00:58:55,281 --> 00:58:59,493 Ugh— You are never quite the same. 814 00:58:59,577 --> 00:59:03,121 - Okay. - Tell me about it. I used to model. 815 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:05,624 Lucky for you, I am an honorable man. 816 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:07,960 A what? I'm sorry. 817 00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:10,504 I said I am an honorable man. 818 00:59:10,588 --> 00:59:13,882 - I'm sorry. "Oneragable"? - Honorable. 819 00:59:13,967 --> 00:59:17,678 - Onergable. I don't know what you're saying. - Honorable! Honorable! 820 00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:21,306 - Honorable! Honorable! - Onerga— I think you're trying to say "honorable." 821 00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:24,393 - Shut up! - Ow! Hey! I'm sorry. 822 00:59:24,477 --> 00:59:28,313 I am going to ask you a question. 823 00:59:28,398 --> 00:59:31,024 Ifyou get it right, I will set you free. 824 00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:33,652 Ifyou get it wrong, well... 825 00:59:33,736 --> 00:59:38,365 you will be spending a lot oftime with the ever-popular Mark. 826 00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:41,243 I can be very nice. 827 00:59:41,327 --> 00:59:43,954 - Ugh. - All right. Here it is. 828 00:59:44,038 --> 00:59:47,040 What is the average running speed... 829 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:52,254 of a full-grown male African ostrich? 830 00:59:52,338 --> 00:59:56,758 - Pass. Pass to me. I know it. - Pass to Mark. 831 00:59:56,843 --> 01:00:01,096 You cannot pass! What do I have to do to shut you up? Do I have to hose you down? 832 01:00:01,180 --> 01:00:03,807 Don't hose me. Maybe later. 833 01:00:03,891 --> 01:00:06,351 - Dude, we're dead. - Not so fast. 834 01:00:07,854 --> 01:00:09,938 The full-grown male African ostrich... 835 01:00:10,023 --> 01:00:12,024 or theLatin Struthio camelus... 836 01:00:12,108 --> 01:00:16,194 can grow to an average of 6'6" and weigh anywhere from 225 to 350 pounds. 837 01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:20,490 They can get up to, oh, an average speed of 27 miles per hour. 838 01:00:20,575 --> 01:00:23,744 This is absolutely correct! 839 01:00:23,828 --> 01:00:27,247 - Animal Planet. - Wow. I said "brown." 840 01:00:27,332 --> 01:00:30,626 Here. Let me get you out ofthis stinking cage, eh? 841 01:00:30,710 --> 01:00:34,212 Oh, please forgive me. Can I get you guys some beers? 842 01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:37,174 - I'd like a Near Beer, please. - Shut up! Huh? 843 01:00:37,258 --> 01:00:40,135 Actually, we just came about the car that you bought today. 844 01:00:40,219 --> 01:00:43,805 - We wanted to get some stuff out of it. - No problem! Right this way. 845 01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:46,683 - Oh. - Well, it was nice meeting you guys. 846 01:00:46,768 --> 01:00:48,685 Good luck with the whole modeling thing. 847 01:00:48,770 --> 01:00:52,439 E- mail me, okay? "Freakincage. com." 848 01:00:55,818 --> 01:00:58,654 Bu— Sacrebleu! 849 01:00:58,738 --> 01:01:03,659 Th-The car was here this afternoon. It-It— It-Itjust disappeared! 850 01:01:03,743 --> 01:01:06,912 Well, how do you just lose a car? 851 01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:09,790 I'm so sorry, you guys. I-I feel terrible. 852 01:01:09,874 --> 01:01:12,459 All right. Pierre, just focus here. 853 01:01:12,543 --> 01:01:14,836 Was there anything in the car when you got it? 854 01:01:14,921 --> 01:01:16,922 No, nothing, uh... 855 01:01:17,006 --> 01:01:20,634 uh, except, of course, for this. 856 01:01:20,718 --> 01:01:22,928 Just this? 857 01:01:23,054 --> 01:01:25,764 Dude! Ha! 858 01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:44,032 - Dude, I'm having my next birthday party here for sure. - Yeah. Me too. 859 01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,330 Cool! 860 01:01:50,415 --> 01:01:53,125 Excuse me. Can you tell me where locker 206 is? 861 01:01:53,209 --> 01:01:56,586 Yeah. It's right over there. Oh, hey, it's you guys! 862 01:01:56,671 --> 01:01:59,798 Dude, you guys played an amazing round of putt-putt last night. 863 01:01:59,882 --> 01:02:02,718 - We did? - Oh, yeah. 864 01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:05,387 - Thanks, dude. - Shibby. 865 01:02:05,471 --> 01:02:07,681 Here is it. 866 01:02:07,765 --> 01:02:10,767 I sure hope my money's in there. 867 01:02:10,852 --> 01:02:13,520 - Who are you? - This is my boyfriend Patty. 868 01:02:13,604 --> 01:02:15,647 Nice to meet you. 869 01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:18,608 How do you keep popping up like this? 870 01:02:18,693 --> 01:02:22,154 Less questions, more giving me my money. 871 01:02:25,366 --> 01:02:27,743 Well, guess this is it. 872 01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:30,370 Yep. The moment of truth. 873 01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:33,999 It's been— It's been a long strange trip, dude. 874 01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:36,918 Sure has, Jesse. 875 01:02:37,003 --> 01:02:40,172 - Hey! I've got a plane to catch. - Ow! 876 01:02:40,256 --> 01:02:42,716 Okay, okay, okay. 877 01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:50,682 Ah! My suitcase! Oh. 878 01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:55,771 Ah! Oh, my God. 879 01:02:55,855 --> 01:02:59,816 You guys are the best. Thank you so much. 880 01:03:01,235 --> 01:03:03,904 Oh. 881 01:03:03,988 --> 01:03:07,741 Thanks for your help, fella. Good work. 882 01:03:11,287 --> 01:03:14,498 Hey, are we-Are we supposed to be grossed out by this? 883 01:03:14,582 --> 01:03:17,584 - I don't know. - Mmm. Bye. 884 01:03:20,379 --> 01:03:22,506 Look at this stuff! 885 01:03:22,590 --> 01:03:27,469 - Captain Stu tickets. Awesome! - Ohh! 886 01:03:27,553 --> 01:03:29,679 Oh! Jellybeans! 887 01:03:29,764 --> 01:03:31,765 Oh. 888 01:03:32,934 --> 01:03:35,519 No jellybeans. 889 01:03:35,603 --> 01:03:37,646 Cool straw. 890 01:03:37,730 --> 01:03:40,232 - Oh, I'm gonna keep this. - Yeah. 891 01:03:53,746 --> 01:03:55,872 I don't see a Continuum Transfunctioner in here. 892 01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:59,876 Wait a second. What do we know about the Continuum Transfunctioner? 893 01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:02,546 That it's a very mysterious and powerful device. 894 01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:05,757 - And? - And its mystery is only exceeded by its power. 895 01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:09,719 Right. But has anyone ever said anything about what it looks like? 896 01:04:09,804 --> 01:04:12,681 No. 897 01:04:12,765 --> 01:04:15,100 They haven't. 898 01:04:20,606 --> 01:04:23,275 Come on. 899 01:04:25,236 --> 01:04:27,529 That was Jesse and Chester. 900 01:04:27,613 --> 01:04:31,157 They've got the Continuum Transfunctioner! 901 01:04:33,369 --> 01:04:35,954 Quick, to my mother's minivan! 902 01:04:39,709 --> 01:04:44,254 That was Jesse and Chester. They've got the Continuum Transfunctioner. 903 01:04:44,338 --> 01:04:48,508 Quick, to my stepdad's pickup truck. 904 01:04:50,052 --> 01:04:52,971 I'm really getting the hang ofthis thing, dude. 905 01:04:55,474 --> 01:04:58,393 Yes! Ooh-hoo! 906 01:04:58,477 --> 01:05:02,397 Ohh, yes! I finally beat you! 907 01:05:02,481 --> 01:05:05,609 You, you're a competitor. 908 01:05:05,693 --> 01:05:10,071 Oh, boy. You got me the first nine, but not number ten. 909 01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:12,574 Not gonna happen. 910 01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:15,702 - Time for the final showdown. - Chester! - Jesse! 911 01:05:15,786 --> 01:05:19,122 Don't worry, girls. We're here to save the day. 912 01:05:19,206 --> 01:05:23,460 Quit it. These things are expensive. Ow. 913 01:05:23,544 --> 01:05:26,963 Enough! Do you have the Continuum Transfunctioner or not? 914 01:05:27,048 --> 01:05:29,507 Yep. Right here. 915 01:05:29,592 --> 01:05:33,094 Now, release our girlfriends. 916 01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:35,490 - First give up the Transfunctioner. - First release the girlfriends. 917 01:05:35,514 --> 01:05:38,308 First you give us the Continuum Transfunctioner, and then... 918 01:05:38,392 --> 01:05:40,560 - Same time. - Okay. 919 01:05:40,645 --> 01:05:42,854 Yes! 920 01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:47,734 Yes! The Continuum Transfunctioner! 921 01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:49,736 There they are. 922 01:05:49,820 --> 01:05:53,365 Okay, stoners, where's the Continuum Transfunctioner? 923 01:05:57,161 --> 01:06:00,664 Uh-oh. 924 01:06:00,748 --> 01:06:03,708 Hey. What-You can't- 925 01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:06,544 Release dodo bird. 926 01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,218 - Tommy, you're such a jerk. - Yeah. That's our Continuum Transfunctioner! 927 01:06:13,302 --> 01:06:16,096 - Well, now it's mine. - Ow. 928 01:06:16,180 --> 01:06:18,640 Nerd! 929 01:06:22,186 --> 01:06:25,438 - Dude, let's get out of here. - Yeah. 930 01:06:25,523 --> 01:06:28,733 Where is the Continuum Transfunctioner? 931 01:06:28,818 --> 01:06:30,777 We don't have it. 932 01:06:30,861 --> 01:06:34,823 But we'd like you to meet our girlfriends, Wanda and Wilma. 933 01:06:34,907 --> 01:06:37,617 Yeah. We've met. You better stay away from our boyfriends. 934 01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:40,203 You fake-breasted sluts. 935 01:06:41,205 --> 01:06:43,748 Okay... let's go this way. 936 01:06:45,751 --> 01:06:48,503 Halt. Where is the Continuum Transfunctioner? 937 01:06:48,587 --> 01:06:50,922 Well, you wanna go talk to that guy over there. 938 01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:53,717 Let the pleasure begin. 939 01:06:53,801 --> 01:06:57,762 - That is not the Continuum Transfunctioner. - Of course it is. 940 01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:04,978 Follow the kids. Come on. Follow. Go, go, go. 941 01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:21,536 It's nerd-bashing time! 942 01:07:21,620 --> 01:07:24,581 Uh, it's not our fault. It was them. 943 01:07:24,665 --> 01:07:27,667 Lookin' for Smokey McPot! 944 01:07:27,752 --> 01:07:31,755 I have a delivery for a Smokey McPot! 945 01:07:31,839 --> 01:07:34,174 - You ordered pizza? - Yeah. I figured we'd get hungry. 946 01:07:34,258 --> 01:07:36,426 Oh, no! It's you two! 947 01:07:36,510 --> 01:07:38,428 Look, dude. I almost got it. 948 01:07:38,512 --> 01:07:42,015 You're really starting to irk me with your Rubik's cube fixation, okay? 949 01:07:42,099 --> 01:07:44,142 Sweet! 950 01:07:46,771 --> 01:07:48,897 Whoa! 951 01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:58,615 - Oh. - No wonder those things are so impossible. 952 01:07:58,699 --> 01:08:03,411 - Oh, no. You've activated the Continuum Transfunctioner. - All right, what's going on? 953 01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:06,164 Once all five of the Dirugian crystals stop flashing... 954 01:08:06,248 --> 01:08:08,249 the universe is going to be destroyed. 955 01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:11,961 - How do you know all that? - We've been intercepting interstellar transmissions. 956 01:08:12,046 --> 01:08:14,547 - Zoltan. - Nerds. 957 01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:16,883 - Way to go, Chester. - Sorry. 958 01:08:16,967 --> 01:08:20,261 Quickly. You must give it to us so we can deactivate it. 959 01:08:20,346 --> 01:08:22,324 We are the Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner. 960 01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:24,974 They will use it to destroy the universe. 961 01:08:25,059 --> 01:08:28,478 No, we are the Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner. 962 01:08:28,562 --> 01:08:30,688 They want to destroy the universe. 963 01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:35,527 - Stop copying us. - Stop copying us. 964 01:08:35,611 --> 01:08:38,613 - Bitch. - Don't you guys remember? 965 01:08:38,697 --> 01:08:43,326 We came to this planet last night to escape the clutches ofthose evil space sluts. 966 01:08:43,410 --> 01:08:46,955 - We met you here. - You gave us a ride back to our spaceship. 967 01:08:47,039 --> 01:08:50,291 And that's when we realized we had lost the Continuum Transfunctioner. 968 01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:53,920 - Ohh! - Hurry! There's only three blinking lights left. 969 01:08:54,004 --> 01:08:58,842 - Bye-bye, universe. - He's right, dude. We're gonna make the wrong decision. 970 01:08:58,926 --> 01:09:03,012 You know what, dude? I refuse to let us go down in history... 971 01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:05,515 as the dudes who destroyed the universe! 972 01:09:05,599 --> 01:09:09,144 How do we figure out which ones are the true Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner? 973 01:09:09,228 --> 01:09:11,146 Well, uh, it's simple. 974 01:09:11,230 --> 01:09:13,731 We just ask them a question about last night... 975 01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:16,359 that only the ones that are telling the truth would know. 976 01:09:16,443 --> 01:09:18,570 But we can't remember a thing! 977 01:09:18,654 --> 01:09:20,405 - Uh-oh. - You gotta hurry! 978 01:09:20,489 --> 01:09:22,866 - Not now, Jeff! - Zip it. 979 01:09:25,411 --> 01:09:28,663 Ifwe really did give one ofyou guys a ride last night... 980 01:09:28,747 --> 01:09:31,040 then you'll know the answer to this question: 981 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:34,127 Uh-oh. Hurry! 982 01:09:34,211 --> 01:09:36,129 Shh, shh. 983 01:09:36,213 --> 01:09:38,173 What score did we get... 984 01:09:38,257 --> 01:09:41,968 on the 18th hole of the miniature golf course last night? 985 01:09:48,601 --> 01:09:52,729 - You got a hole-in-one. - That is... 986 01:09:55,941 --> 01:09:58,651 correct! 987 01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:09,245 Deactivation complete. 988 01:10:18,797 --> 01:10:22,592 Wait a second. Ifyou guys don't remember a thing about last night... 989 01:10:22,676 --> 01:10:25,720 - How do you know they were telling the truth? - Well, it's simple, really. 990 01:10:25,804 --> 01:10:27,722 The pudding! 991 01:10:27,806 --> 01:10:30,391 Wow! You guys had a plan. 992 01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:33,144 And it actually worked. 993 01:10:37,816 --> 01:10:40,401 For the love of God! 994 01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:44,656 Wow! Morphing is cool! 995 01:10:51,038 --> 01:10:56,042 Whoa! That is one superhot giant alien! 996 01:11:00,881 --> 01:11:04,259 - Just go! - Chester! - Jesse! 997 01:11:09,056 --> 01:11:14,852 - That is amazing! - Yeah. Those are the biggest hoo-hoos I have ever seen. 998 01:11:19,066 --> 01:11:21,693 Whoa! 999 01:11:21,777 --> 01:11:24,279 Humph. 1000 01:11:24,363 --> 01:11:27,949 We will now use the power of the Continuum Transfunctioner... 1001 01:11:28,033 --> 01:11:30,201 to banish you to Hoboken, NewJersey. 1002 01:11:36,500 --> 01:11:41,212 - What are we supposed to do now? - I think we run, dude. 1003 01:11:50,097 --> 01:11:52,974 Boy, those guys are in a hurry. 1004 01:12:02,484 --> 01:12:04,861 I wanna go on that ride, Daddy. 1005 01:12:04,945 --> 01:12:06,738 Me too, son. Me too. 1006 01:12:21,795 --> 01:12:24,213 Hey, what do I do with this thing? 1007 01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:27,800 - You gotta activate the... Proton accelerator annihilation beam! 1008 01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:31,054 - What? - They said the proton accelerator... 1009 01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:33,014 annihilation beam... 1010 01:12:33,098 --> 01:12:35,350 you fool! 1011 01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:38,227 Hurry! Activate it, dude! 1012 01:12:38,312 --> 01:12:41,230 I think this is it! 1013 01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:43,733 Thank you, Captain Obvious! 1014 01:12:45,944 --> 01:12:49,906 - I can't reach it! - Deep in your consciousness you must look! 1015 01:12:49,990 --> 01:12:53,368 Concentrate on the knowledge inside you must! 1016 01:12:53,452 --> 01:12:56,079 Does he have to talk like that? 1017 01:12:56,163 --> 01:12:59,749 I like the way he talks. 1018 01:13:04,129 --> 01:13:06,923 Chimpanzees often use sticks as crude tools. 1019 01:13:07,007 --> 01:13:10,343 I got it. Ha. Ohh! 1020 01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:17,433 Oh, boy. 1021 01:13:18,977 --> 01:13:21,437 Oh! 1022 01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:23,272 We saved the universe! 1023 01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:25,316 The big bitch is dead! 1024 01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:37,286 Oh! 1025 01:13:38,956 --> 01:13:43,126 Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties. 1026 01:13:43,210 --> 01:13:46,462 Christie, honey, could you give me a hand? 1027 01:13:46,547 --> 01:13:49,006 No, Tommy. I've found somebody else. 1028 01:13:54,888 --> 01:13:56,639 Jesse and Chester saved the universe. 1029 01:13:56,723 --> 01:14:00,435 You guys are still gonna take us into outer space with you, right? 1030 01:14:00,519 --> 01:14:03,104 There is a party in the Crab Nebula you guys could come to. 1031 01:14:10,195 --> 01:14:14,782 - Here you go. - Thanks for your help, Jesse and Chester. 1032 01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:17,326 You have helped ensure the safety ofthe universe. 1033 01:14:17,411 --> 01:14:21,456 Well, that's cool and all, but, dude, where's my car? 1034 01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:25,209 You mean you guys don't remember? Damn, you were wasted last night. 1035 01:14:25,335 --> 01:14:27,253 Now before we go, we must eliminate... 1036 01:14:27,337 --> 01:14:29,589 all knowledge of this encounter. 1037 01:14:29,673 --> 01:14:34,135 No. We have so many questions that we wanna ask you about the universe. 1038 01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:37,180 - Like what? - Well... 1039 01:14:41,059 --> 01:14:44,103 - Have you guys ever been to Uranus? - Nice! 1040 01:14:59,119 --> 01:15:01,954 - Morning, guys. - Morning, Gene. 1041 01:15:04,958 --> 01:15:07,001 - We'll go over to the twins' house. - And then? 1042 01:15:07,085 --> 01:15:09,670 - Then we give them their anniversary gifts. - And then? 1043 01:15:09,755 --> 01:15:12,006 - We'll apologize for trashing the house. - And then? 1044 01:15:12,090 --> 01:15:14,217 - Then we get our special treats. - And then? 1045 01:15:14,301 --> 01:15:17,011 - Dude, that's really annoying. - Sorry. 1046 01:15:17,095 --> 01:15:19,764 Dude, where's my car? 1047 01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:24,393 - Dude, where's my car? - Where's your car, dude? 1048 01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:30,024 Dude, there's your car. 1049 01:15:30,108 --> 01:15:32,318 Oh. 1050 01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:37,865 Ohh. "I HEART U." 1051 01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:41,160 You guys are great boyfriends! 1052 01:15:41,245 --> 01:15:44,121 We have something for you too. 1053 01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:46,374 A very special treat. 1054 01:15:46,458 --> 01:15:49,252 - Oh, shibby! - Shibby! 1055 01:15:49,336 --> 01:15:51,045 Ta-da! 1056 01:15:51,129 --> 01:15:53,839 We sewed the names on ourselves. 1057 01:15:53,924 --> 01:15:56,425 - Wow. - Wow. 1058 01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:59,136 Put 'em on. 1059 01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:07,144 You guys look great. 1060 01:16:08,355 --> 01:16:10,940 Berets? 1061 01:16:11,024 --> 01:16:15,528 - What are these? - Uh, more gifts. 1062 01:16:16,697 --> 01:16:18,739 They're beautiful! 1063 01:16:18,824 --> 01:16:22,743 - Where did you guys get these? - This... place. 1064 01:16:24,079 --> 01:16:25,997 - Wow. - Me first. 1065 01:16:32,170 --> 01:16:34,297 How wasted were we last night? 1066 01:16:39,344 --> 01:16:43,347 - Oh, God. Dude! - Sweet! 1067 01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:59,030 - Is anyone hungry? - Yeah. 1068 01:16:59,114 --> 01:17:01,866 - I could go for some Chinese food. - That sounds great. 1069 01:17:01,950 --> 01:17:04,243 Sweet! 1070 01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:11,626 - My back itches, dude. - Jesse you got a tattoo! 1071 01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:13,628 God. So do you, Chester! 1072 01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:16,130 - No way! What's mine say? - "Dude"! 1073 01:17:16,214 --> 01:17:18,132 - What about mine? - "Sweet"! 1074 01:17:18,216 --> 01:17:20,301 - Yeah, but what does mine say? - "Dude"! 1075 01:17:20,385 --> 01:17:22,303 - What about mine? - "Sweet"! 1076 01:17:22,387 --> 01:17:26,140 - I know they're sweet, but, dude, what's mine say? - "Dude"! 1077 01:17:26,224 --> 01:17:28,643 - What about mine? - "Sweet"! 1078 01:17:32,230 --> 01:17:34,774 Hit it. 1079 01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:44,241 I can do sexy. 1080 01:17:44,326 --> 01:17:49,121 How do you keep popping up like this? 1081 01:17:49,206 --> 01:17:52,416 This isn't fair. They're mooning us. 1082 01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:54,877 Tastes good. Tastes good, right? 1083 01:17:59,383 --> 01:18:00,633 - "Sweet"! - "Dude"! 1084 01:18:00,717 --> 01:18:03,552 - I am fun-loving. I like charades. - Shut up! 1085 01:18:03,637 --> 01:18:05,971 Go ahead and laugh. 1086 01:18:07,974 --> 01:18:10,184 Come on. Say it. 1087 01:18:10,268 --> 01:18:12,895 - Ha. - Ha. 1088 01:18:24,408 --> 01:18:26,158 Zoltan! 1089 01:18:33,166 --> 01:18:37,253 - Ooh! - Oh! Ohh! 1090 01:18:37,337 --> 01:18:39,630 - That's a keeper. - Fingers crossed on that. 1091 01:18:42,634 --> 01:18:45,970 - Hey, I got it! - You want a piece ofthis? 1092 01:18:47,931 --> 01:18:49,807 - " Dude"! - " Sweet"! 1093 01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:53,060 - Uh-huh. And then? - And then we went and, uh... 1094 01:18:53,145 --> 01:18:56,355 - And then? - Got those sweetjumpsuits so we could look sh... 1095 01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:59,525 - And then? - Then we went an— Oh, man. I'm losing it. 1096 01:18:59,609 --> 01:19:02,069 I am fun-loving... without my clothes. 1097 01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:06,323 The protomic incin— The-The gray thing, dummy! 1098 01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:07,950 - "Dude"! - "Sweet"! 1099 01:19:14,207 --> 01:19:16,876 Okay. Shall we cut? 1100 01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:20,379 We gotta cut. I mean, we just have to. 1101 01:19:20,464 --> 01:19:23,215 - You guys have to cut. - Cut. 1102 01:19:24,217 --> 01:19:26,844 Punk-ass kids! 1103 01:23:00,725 --> 01:23:02,810 And then? 85103