Original subtitles

-[DETERMINED ROCK MUSIC]

-[GRUNTS]

-[WOEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

-RESCUER: [BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GRUNTS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

-[SLOWLY SWELLING ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

-SURFER: [GASPS]

-J.D.: ARE YOU OKAY?

-SURFER: WHAT HAPPENED? HOW DID I GET HERE?

-J.D.: I WAS ABOUT TO ASK YOU THE SAME THING.

-[COUGHS REPEATEDLY]

-J.D.: LET'S GO CHECK YOU OUT. COME ON.

-[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND IN THE DARKNESS ♪

♪ AFRAID TO STEP INTO THE LIGHT ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪

♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU WORRY

♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY

♪ I WON'T LET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR

♪ OH, DON'T YOU FEAR

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS

♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE

-J.D.: UGH, I JUST DON'T GET IT.

SO HE'S ALREADY LAID OUT ON THE SAND

WHEN YOU GOT THERE.

-AND THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE AROUND?

-NOBODY.

-HE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THE WATER BY HIMSELF?

-NO, HE WAS BARELY CONSCIOUS.

HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

-IT WAS PROBABLY JUST ANOTHER SURFER.

-YEAH, BUT WHY WOULD HE SPLIT?

-WAVE RAGE.

PROBABLY KNOCKED THE GUY OUT

AND DIDN'T WANT TO BE AROUND WHEN HE WOKE UP.

-MITCH: OKAY, ROLE CALL. LISTEN UP!

EVERYBODY IN THE LOUNGE! BIG DAY AHEAD OF US!

BIG SWELLS. EL NIÑO IS AT IT AGAIN.

-HEY, MITCH CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

-YEAH, SURE.

-LISTEN, I REALIZE THAT I WAS HIRED HERE

AS AN ADMINISTRATIVE CONSULTANT,

HOWEVER JUST SO YOU KNOW I DID NOT TAKE THIS JOB

SO I COULD BE CHAINED TO A DESK ALL DAY.

-AH, YOUR POINT BEING?

-MY POINT BEING IS WHEN DO I GET A TOWER?

-A TOWER?

-YEAH, OR ANY OTHER MEANINGFUL ASSIGNMENT FOR THAT MATTER.

I MEAN, FOR INSTANCE, I COULD RIDE IN THE CALL CAR WITH YOU.

-AH, WELL BRIDGET IS A CERTIFIED PARAMEDIC.

-YEAH, WELL SO AM I.

-OH YEAH, RIGHT. I KNOW.

-YOU KNOW WHAT, MITCH? YOU ARE NOT BEING FAIR.

I MEAN, YOU WANT ME TO PROVE MYSELF,

BUT YOU'RE NOT GIVING ME A CHANCE.

-COFFEE? OKAY, LISTEN UP EVERYBODY! TOWER ASSIGNMENTS.

J.D., TOWER 17, CODY YOU'RE AT ZUMA, INGRID YOU'RE--

-ALEX: HANG ON, HANG ON.

BEFORE YOU GET INTO ALL THAT,

I WANNA INTRODUCE YOU GUYS TO SOMEONE.

NOW AS YOU KNOW, WHEN I CAME TO BAYWATCH,

I TOLD YOU YOU COULD EXPECT SOME CHANGES

AROUND HERE, RIGHT?

NOW I KNOW THERE'S A FEW OF YOU WHO DERIVE GREAT PLEASURE

FROM MOPPING THE FLOORS, CLEANING THE SHOWERS,

AND WASHING YOUR TOWELS AND YOUR SWIM SUITS.

-OH, YEAH. WE LOVE IT.

-ANYWAY, I HAPPEN TO BELIEVE THAT A LIFEGUARD'S JOB

IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT DOING ALL THE GRUNT WORK

AROUND HEADQUARTERS.

THAT IS WHY I HAVE HIRED A NEW MAINTENANCE MANAGER.

EVERYBODY, I WANT YOU TO MEET JESSICA OWENS.

-HEY, EVERYBODY.

-[ALL ENTHUSIASTICALLY GREETING]

-[LAUGHS]

-SO IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS OR SUGGESTIONS

YOU KNOW MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN, OKAY?

-ALWAYS OPEN!

J.D., DO ME A FAVOR, HAND OUT THE TOWER ASSIGNMENTS.

STEP INTO MY OFFICE, PLEASE.

WHERE IN THE BUDGET DID YOU FIND THE MONEY

FOR A MAINTENANCE MANAGER?

-IT'S ONE OF THE MANY THINGS I AM QUALIFIED TO DO.

-ED SYMES IS MY NAME, MEDICAL SUPPLIES IS MY GAME.

I HAVE SOME COMPLIMENTARY THERMOMETERS FOR ALL OF YOU.

AND YOU'LL NOTICE MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS RIGHT HERE ON THE BACK.

I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU AND I COULD LOG ON TOGETHER

SOME NIGHT, SWEETHEART.

-HERE, YOU NEED THIS BECAUSE YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY

OUT OF YOUR MIND WITH FEVER.

-[LAUGHS] YEAH.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT YOU SEE HERE IS THE FUTURE.

ALL THESE MEDICAL SUPPLIES ARE STATE-OF-THE-ART.

I'M GONNA DO A LITTLE DEMONSTRATION HERE.

I NEED YOUR LEG, DOLL FACE, IF THAT'D BE OKAY.

THIS LEG IS...

[WHIMPERS]

UH, GORGEOUS, BUT, UH,

FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS DEMONSTRATION IT'S BROKEN.

YOU WITH ME?

-YOUR HANDS. TAKE THEM OFF MY LEG OR THEY'RE BROKEN.

-MITCH: ED?

-HEY, MITCH! HOW GOES IT?

-I THOUGHT I MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR I NEVER WANTED

TO SEE YOUR FACE AROUND HERE AGAIN, EVER!

-OH, COME ON MITCH.

LET'S NOT LET A FEW LITTLE PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES

COME BETWEEN US AND BUSINESS.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU THE BEST-EQUIPPED EMERGENCY MEDICAL UNIT

ON THE BEACH. -WE ALREADY ARE.

-OH NO, MAN, YOUR STUFF IS YESTERDAY'S NEWS.

MY STUFF IS THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE

AND IT CAN ALL BE YOURS.

-YEAH, RIGHT. IN EXCHANGE FOR WHAT?

-WELL, I NEED TO FIELD TEST SOME OF MY EQUIPMENT

ON, UH, THE CALL CAR.

-[LAUGHS FALSELY] IN A WORD, NO.

-OH, COME ON. NO STRINGS, NO OBLIGATION!

-NO WAY.

-HEY, MITCH!

I NEED YOU TO SIGN SOME PAPERWORK

BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF, ALL RIGHT?

-HEY, WHO'S THE NEW BABE?

-UH, YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH...

ON SECOND THOUGHT, THIS MIGHT PRESENT

A VERY INTERESTING OPPORTUNITY.

-SO NOW YOU WANT ME TO GO OUT ON THE CALL CAR?

-YEP.

-MAY I ASK WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF HEART?

-WELL, I REALIZED THAT KEEPING YOU COOPED UP

AT HEADQUARTERS WAS A TREMENDOUS WASTE OF YOUR TALENTS.

-WOW, WE FINALLY AGREE ON SOMETHING. THAT'S GREAT.

-WE DO.

ALEX RYKER, ED SYMES.

-HEY SUGARPLUM, WHY DON'T YOU HOP ON IN

AND TAKE A RIDE WITH DADDY HERE?

I'LL LET YOU RIDE SHOTGUN [LAUGHS]

-[LAUGHS TEASINGLY]

-ED: NOW DON'T KEEP ME WAITING, CUPCAKE.

I GOT A LONELY LAP HERE.

-CODY: WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE WEEKEND, YOU KNOW?

-J.D.: I DON'T KNOW, MAN, I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

-JESSIE: HEY, GUYS! -CODY: HEY.

-J.D.: HEY, JESSICA.

-OH, YOU CAN CALL ME JESSIE.

-JESSIE OWENS? ANY RELATION TO THE ORIGINAL?

-ACTUALLY, MY DAD WAS A TRACK AND FIELD NUT

AND JESSIE OWENS WAS HIS HERO.

-YEAH, MINE TOO.

FOUR OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALS IS PRETTY HARD TO TOP.

-TRUE.

-NAME'S CODY.

-HEY.

-J.D.

-IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. -WELCOME TO BAYWATCH.

-THANKS.

-CODY: SO HOW DOES A GIRL LIKE YOU BECOME A, UH--

-JANITOR? [LAUGHS]

ACTUALLY, I'M STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS.

JUST IN CASE YOU GUYS EVER NEED ANYONE

TO CLEAN YOUR APARTMENTS OR WHATEVER.

I'M ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW CLIENTS.

-CODY: WELL, YOU KNOW AS A MATTER OF--- J.D.: WELL, ACTUALLY--

-JESSIE, WAIT!

-WHAT?

-[SHRIEKING]

-THERE MIGHT BE...

-[GASPS]

-SOMEONE DOWN THERE.

-JESSIE: OH MY GOSH! I'M SO SORRY!

-DO YOU MIND?

-OH, NO. SORRY. [CHUCKLES]

HEY, NO TAN LINE ON YOUR FINGER, HUH?

-I BEG YOUR PARDON?

-UH, NO WEDDING RING.

GUESS YOU MUST BE FLYING SOLO, HUH?

-UH, YEAH. YEAH.

-WHAT A WASTE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

I'M SINGLE TOO YOU KNOW.

HARD TO BELIEVE THOUGH, ISN'T IT?

-WELL, NOT REALLY.

UM, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD MOVE OVER THAT WAY A LITTLE?

-OH, YEAH. A LITTLE.

-YOU KNOW THIS COULD BE KISMET,

THE TWO OF YOU MEETING LIKE THIS.

-I DON'T THINK SO.

-YOU KNOW THE BIG GUY COULD BE RIGHT.

-YOU TWO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. -REALLY?

-YEAH. -LIKE WHAT?

-ED: WELL, WE'RE BOTH ROMANTICALLY UNTANGLED.

WE'RE BOTH HANDS-ON KIND OF PEOPLE.

WE BOTH HAVE GUYS' NAMES.

-MITCH: [CHORTLES]

-YOU SET ME UP, DIDN'T YOU? -ME? SET YOU UP? NO.

ALL I KNOW IS YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO RIDE IN THE CAR.

-HEADQUARTERS, WE'RE COMING IN.

WE'RE LOW ON FUEL. WE HAVE A 201 COMING DOWN ON--

-ALEX: HEADQUARTERS, CANCEL THAT TRAFFIC.

THIS GOES OUT TO EVERYBODY.

-ED: I'M SORRY.

HEY, WHAT ARE ALL THESE LITTLE SWITCHES OVER HERE? LIKE THIS ONE.

-[SIREN WHOOPS] -ALEX: JUST--

-[SIREN WAILING]

-KEEP YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS.

-ALL RIGHT.

-THOSE ARE MY POCKETS.

-ALEX: LOOK, PUT YOUR HANDS RIGHT HERE -[CHUCKLING]

AND DON'T MOVE.

-I WILL.

-ALEX: THANK YOU.

-[DRAMATIC, SLOW ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

-[BREATHING HEAVILY]

-CODY: DUDE, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VEGAS

THIS WEEKEND?

-J.D.: SOUNDS GOOD.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW AFTER I TALK TO MITCH.

-CODY: SEE IF HE WANTS TO GO.

WHOA, WHOA, STOP!

J.D., I THINK WE GOT A JUMPER ON THE PIER!

-[DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLING]

-J.D.: IT'S JESSIE!

WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING UP THERE?

-JESSIE! BACK AWAY FROM THE EDGE.

JESSIE, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!

IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!

-J.D.: I THINK SHE'S GONNA DO IT.

-LET'S GO!

-J.D.: JESSIE, GET BACK!

-CODY: DON'T JUMP!

-[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

-JESSIE: HOW'D THAT LOOK?

GET IT?

-GOT IT!

-ALL RIGHT! THANKS!

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT HERE?

-WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION.

-[LAUGHS] I'M PUTTING MY REEL TOGETHER.

I'M TRAINING TO BE A STUNTWOMAN.

-AH, THAT'S COOL. -YEAH!

-YEAH, EXCEPT IT'S, UH, IT'S ILLEGAL TO JUMP OFF THE PIER.

-YOU GUYS AREN'T GONNA TELL ON ME, ARE YOU?

-WE'LL LET IT GO THIS TIME.

-THANKS.

LISTEN, I GOTTA GET BACK TO HEADQUARTERS,

'CAUSE MY LUNCH BREAK'S ALMOST OVER.

THANKS AGAIN, YOU GUYS! SEE YA!

-[WHISTLES]

-[SIREN WAILING]

-BOY: [GROANING]

-I THINK HIS ARM IS BROKEN.

-OKAY, LET'S TAKE A LOOK HERE.

-ED: EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

-YEAH, WE GOTTA IMMOBILIZE THAT.

-EXCUSE ME [GRUNTS]

HI, SWEETCAKES.

-WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

-DON'T ASK.

-HEY, BIG GUY.

YOU OUGHTA TRY MY NEW TRIANGLE BANDAGE.

CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGY, MULTIPURPOSE.

IT CURES SEPARATIONS, DISLOCATIONS.

IT EVEN CURES HICCUPS.

-WE'RE DOING FINE HERE.

-YEAH, WELL YOU OUGHTA AT LEAST GIVE IT A LOOK.

IT MAKES YOUR LITTLE SPLINT THERE LOOK LIKE A SWIZZLE STICK.

YOU SAID WE COULD FIELD TEST MY INVENTORY.

-FOR GOD SAKES, WILL YOU STOP WHINING?

YOU WANNA TRY IT ON SOMEBODY, TRY IT ON ALEX.

-EXCUSE ME? I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE A GUINEA PIG.

-WHY NOT?

YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO BE PART OF THE TEAM, DIDN'T YOU?

-[SCOFFS]

-ED: THIS BABY IS DESIGNED TO HOLD THE ARM

AGAINST THE BODY.

-ACTUALLY, I THINK MY HAND IS SUPPOSED TO BE INSIDE.

-ED: ALL RIGHT, WELL THAT, THAT'LL HELP. IT'S A LITTLE TRICKY.

THIS IS A NEW TECHNOLOGY.

I THINK YOU NEED ANOTHER ONE HERE

FOR A LITTLE VERTICAL SUPPORT.

BY THE WAY, THESE ARE ALL ANATOMICALLY CORRECT.

THEY'VE ALL BEEN RUN THROUGH A COMPUTER

AND THEY'RE GOOD TO 5,000 POUNDS.

-IS THIS WHO YOU BUY YOUR MEDICAL SUPPLIES FROM?

-THIS GOES RIGHT AROUND HERE LIKE THIS.

-OKAY.

-AND THEN JUST COME AROUND HERE...

LIKE THIS. -ALEX: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT'S FINE. THAT'S GOOD.

VERY GOOD. THANK YOU.

-OKAY GUYS, GET HIM OVER TO SANTA MONICA GENERAL.

GET HIM AN X-RAY. ALL RIGHT, GUYS. THANKS.

GOOD JOB, ALL RIGHT? -YEP.

-ED: THEN YOU JUST PUT SLOT A INTO SLOT B.

-DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

-THERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

-[CHUCKLES]

-I THINK YOU'RE A COMPLETE MORON.

UGH!

-THAT WAS WAY--

-YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

-JESSIE: HEY! YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD DAY OUT THERE?

-EXHAUSTING MIGHT BE A BETTER WORD.

-OH, WELL, UM, I RESTOCKED THE TOWELS

AND PUT SOME NEW SOAP IN THE SHOWER.

THE OLD ONES WERE KIND OF YUCKY.

-THANKS.

-Y'ALL AREN'T STILL MAD ABOUT THAT BUCKET THING ARE YOU?

-COURSE NOT.

-HEY, JESSIE.

-HEY! WATCH OUT, IT'S WET!

OH GOD! -[CODY GROANS]

-OH, LET ME HELP. ARE YOU OKAY?

-OH, YEAH. -I'M SO SORRY.

-JESSIE, HAVE YOU SEEN OUR BLACK BATHING SUITS?

-YEAH, I PUT THEM IN THE DRYER.

THEY SHOULD BE DONE BY NOW.

I AM SO SORRY. ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY?

-I'LL BE FINE.

-ARE YOU SURE? -MM-HMM.

-I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE PUT THAT THING UP.

-THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA. [MOANS]

-[SIGHS]

-IF ED SYMES EVEN SHOWS HIS FACE AROUND HERE AGAIN,

I'M GONNA GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. I MEAN IT.

THAT GUYS A JERK!

-I SAW SOME SPARKS BETWEEN YOU TWO.

-OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY.

-YES IT WAS. IT WAS VERY FUNNY. -SHERYL: UM, GUYS?

-BRIDGET: WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT

OUR NEW MAINTENANCE MANAGER.

-WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?

-OH.

-GREAT.

-["GIRL ON FIRE" BY INXS]

♪ SHE'S LIGHTNING WITHOUT THE THUNDER

♪ BETTER WATCH OUT, SHE'LL TAKE YOU UNDER ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY WHEN SHE'S COMING THROUGH ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO

♪ SHE'LL SHOW YOU WHA YOU'VE BEEN NEEDIN' ♪

♪ BETTER WATCH OUT, SHE'LL LEAVE YOU BLEEDIN' ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY WHEN SHE'S COMING THROUGH ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ KEEP YOU RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE, LOOK OUT ♪

♪ SHE'LL MAKE YOU LIGHT UP WITH WONDER

♪ JUST ONE GLANCE, YOU'RE GOING' UNDER

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY WHEN SHE'S COMING THROUGH ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO

♪ SHE'LL SHOW YOU WHA YOU'VE BEEN NEEDIN' ♪

♪ BETTER WATCH OUT, SHE'LL LEAVE YOU BLEEDIN' ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY WHEN SHE'S COMING THROUGH ♪

♪ MAYDAY MAYDAY NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ KEEP YOU RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ KEEP YOU RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE, LOOK OUT ♪

♪ SHE'S A DANGEROUS WOMAN

♪ KEEP YOU RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE

-JASON! COME BACK HERE!

NO RUNNING!

BETH, DON'T GET TOO CLOSE THE EDGE.

JASON, COME BACK HERE!

COME ON OVER HERE!

COME ON!

-I THINK I CAUGHT SOMETHING!

-JASON, GET BACK HERE. WE HAVE TO STAY TOGETHER.

NO RUNNING! -[LAUGHS EXCITEDLY]

MOMMY! HELP! HELP!

-BETH! JASON, STAY HERE!

-BETH: HELP! HELP! MOMMY! HELP!

[BETH CRYING FOR HELP]

-BETH! BETH! BETH, WHERE ARE YOU?

BETH! BETH!

-HELP! [CHOKING AND SPLUTTERING]

[CRYING] MOMMY!

-[INTENSE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

-JESSIE: HOLD ON!

DON'T WORRY, I GOT YOU.

-[BETH GASPING]

-[JESSIE GRUNTS]

-MOMMY!

-OH, LOOK AT YOU! OH, YOU'RE BLEEDING!

HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

-THE GIRL SAVED ME.

-WHAT GIRL?

-HER.

WHERE DID SHE GO? [CRIES]

-[ALEX YAWNS]

-LATE NIGHT LAST NIGHT?

-I WAS IN BED BY 10 BUT I JUST DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP.

-REALLY?

-YEAH, I KEPT HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT ED SYMES.

THAT GUY IS SUCH A CREEP.

I HAVE NEVER MET SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS, SLEAZY LECHER

IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

THANK GOD I WILL NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM--

-ED: HEY! -ALEX: AGAIN.

-HI LAMB CHOP! READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?

-OH, MAN. [SCOFFS]

-MITCH: WELL, HE REALLY DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO FIELD TEST

ALL OF HIS PRODUCTS.

-COME TO PAPA, SWEET CHEEKS. [LAUGHS]

-[SIGHS] I'M DRIVING.

-ED: I LOVE A WOMAN WHO TAKES CHARGE.

-HELP! LIFEGUARD, STOP!

-ALEX: HEY, LOOK.

DON'T MOVE, ED.

DON'T EVEN TWITCH.

-WHAT HAPPENED?

-MY DAUGHTER FELL OFF THE JETTY.

WE WERE OUT FISHING AND MY SON

WAS CHASING THE BIRDS AND--

-ALEX: YOU OKAY NOW?

-YEAH, JUST COLD.

-TAKE A LOOK AT THESE SCRATCHES ON HER ARM, MITCH.

YOU MUST HAVE GOT 'EM ON THE ROCKS.

-DID YOU SWIM IN ALL BY YOURSELF?

-THAT'S WHAT'S WEIRD.

BETH SAID SOME GIRL HELPED HER IN,

BUT WHEN I LOOKED AROUND I DIDN'T SEE ANYONE.

-MAYBE IT WAS A MERMAID.

-YEAH, OR MAYBE IT WAS J.D.'S PHANTOM LIFEGUARD.

LET'S GET YOU TO THE TRUCK.

YOU GOT SOME NASTY SCRATCHES.

-COME ON, BIG GUY. COME ON.

-OH. UH. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

-[SLOW ROMANTIC MUSIC]

-COME HERE.

-[SLOW, ROMANTIC GUITAR MUSIC]

JESSIE! JESSIE!

JESSIE! -OH, UM.

OH, I'M SORRY. I WAS. I MEAN.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT, THAT YOU WERE [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

-IT'S OKAY. IT'S A COED SHOWER.

-OH. OH, IT IS? OH.

-WELL, OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOUR SUIT ON.

OTHERWISE, NO ONE WOULD EVER GET TO THE BEACH.

-I CAN SEE WHY.

UH. UH. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

CAN I GET YOU SOME SOAP OR, NO, UH, SHAMPOO?

OR A TOWEL, OR--

-NO, I'M FINE. THANKS.

SO WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOUR STUNT REEL?

OH! I JUST SENT IT IN TO BILLY NESS.

-WHO'S BILLY NESS?

-HE'S THE BIGGEST STUNT COORDINATOR IN HOLLYWOOD.

I CAN'T WAIT. IF I GET IN WITH HIM, I'M SET.

-[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

-[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

-[TENSE, SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

-YOU KNOW, MITCH, I SAW A GUY ON THE BEACH ONCE,

HE WAS ALL BLOWED UP.

THEY THOUGHT IT WAS A BEE STING.

TURNS OUT IT WAS JUST GAS.

HE'D BEEN EATING SALAMI.

-OH.

-SHERYL: 205, THIS IS SHERYL. COME IN.

-THIS IS 205, SHERYL.

-A JOGGER JUST COLLAPSED ON THE SAND.

HE'S HOLDING HIS LEFT ARM.

I'M THINKING POSSIBLE HEART ATTACK.

-10-4, RESPONDING CODE R.

-[STRONG INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

-[SIREN WAILING]

-SOMEONE'S COMING.

-IS HE OKAY?

-YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.

I WAS JUST TELLING THE YOUNG LADY HERE NOT TO WORRY.

-SHERYL: HE SAYS IT'S JUST A CRAMP IN HIS ARM. NO HEART ATTACK.

-MAN: I'M STRONG AS AN OX.

I WORK OUT FIVE TIMES A WEEK.

-[DEFIBRILLATOR BUZZES]

-CLEAR!

-NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

-[HIGH-PITCHED ELECTRIC BUZZING]

-[GRUNTING] NO, NO, NO.

-[GASPS]

-ED!

-DEFIBRILLATOR: CHECK PULSE. -UH OH.

-DEFIBRILLATOR: IF NO PULSE, GIVE CPR.

-SHERYL: OH, GREAT.

-ED: OH MAN, OH MAN. -HE'S BREATHING.

COME ON, MITCH. -MAN: WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

-BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT.

-I'LL JUST GIVE HIM ONE OF THESE. -COME ON, MITCH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ED?

-THESE ARE SMELLING SALTS. -NO! GEEZ, ED! GOD.

-WOO!

COME ON, BUDDY.

-GET OUT OF THERE, ED!

-[MOANING]

-COME ON, BUDDY. -YOU ALL RIGHT?

-COME ON, BUDDY.

-AM I... AM I DEAD?

-NO, BIG GUY.

-TOO BAD FOR YOU. I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

-I'M GONNA KILL HIM! -STAY THERE.

I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

-STAY THERE. LET HIM GO.

-MITCH: I DON'T LIKE HIM. - ALEX: COME ON.

I REALLY DON'T LIKE THAT GUY. LAY BACK. RELAX.

-MITCH: AM I SMOKING?

-[DISPATCHER TALKING OVER RADIO]

-HERE YOU GO. YOU'RE RATTLING.

-YOU'D RATTLE TOO IF SOMEBODY SHOT YOU UP

WITH 20,000 VOLTS.

-YOU'RE STILL RATTLING.

-CARE FOR A MINT?

I DON'T HAVE ANY BREATH LEFT.

-SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FRIEND, ED, NOW?

-OH, PLEASE. DON'T RUB IT IN, HUH?

-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ABOUT HIM?

-[POWERFUL GUITAR RIFF]

-[SIREN WHOOPING]

-MITCH: ED, STOP! STOP!

ED! STOP! STOP! IT'S OKAY, STOP!

-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, MAN.

LOOK, DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU'RE GONNA REGRET, ALL RIGHT?

I'LL DROP YOU LIKE A THREE-FOOT PUTT.

DON'T YOU DO ANYTHING-- -NO, NO, NO, NO.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, PAL.

LISTEN, ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.

-HEY, THAT'S MY MOTTO, TOO.

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

-FRIENDS.

-ALL RIGHT. BOY, I'LL TELL YOU.

YOU HAD ME WORRIED. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

WHEN THE BIG GUY WENT DOWN, MAN, I, [SIGHS WITH RELIEF]

BOY, IT'S LUCKY I HAD THOSE SMELLING SALTS.

I WISH THERE HAD BEEN SOMEONE AROUND

TO GIVE ME SMELLING SALTS WHEN I WENT DOWN.

-YOU SHOCKED YOURSELF?

-WELL, YEAH, YEAH.

A GOOD SALESMAN'S GOTTA KNOW HIS OWN PRODUCTS.

-PRODUCTS.

YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF PRODUCTS, WE'D LIKE TO SEE

SOME OF YOUR FANTASTIC PRODUCTS.

-ED: YEAH? -COULD YOU SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT HERE, PAL?

-LET'S SEE.

UH, LOOK AT THIS.

THIS IS A COMPLETELY NEW TYPE OF SUTURE.

-YEAH? -NO STITCHING REQUIRED FOR THIS.

IT'S A SPACE AGE GLUE.

YOU JUST PUT IT ON THE CUT AND WHEN IT HEALS

IT DISAPPEARS. -YOU KNOW WHAT--

-BUT DON'T EVER, EVER GET THIS NEAR YOUR MOUTH

BECAUSE YOUR LIPS WILL BE SEALED FOR, LIKE, 24 HOURS.

YOU CAN TRUST ME ON THAT.

-ALEX: ACTUALLY, WE DON'T WANT TO SEE THE SMALL STUFF.

WE WANT TO SEE THE TOP OF YOUR LINE MERCHANDISING, RIGHT?

-MM-HMM. TOP OF THE LINE.

-TOP OF THE LINE? -TOP OF THE LINE.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? -WELL [SHORT LAUGH] ALL RIGHT, THEN.

OKAY, YOU CAN TIGHTEN THAT LAST STRAP THERE.

YEAH. SEE THIS IS OUR SPECIAL EVAC-U-SPLINT MATTRESS

WITH SPECIAL SPIDER STRAP IMMOBILIZERS.

I FEEL LIKE I GOT A SPIDER'S LEGS WRAPPED AROUND ME.

[LAUGHS] I COULDN'T GET LOOSE IF I WANTED TO!

-ALEX: [LAUGHS]

-[LAUGHS]

-WELL, GOOD! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WANTED.

-AWESOME PIECE OF EQUIPMENT. [LAUGHS] -YEAH...

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M TIED UP!

OKAY, WAIT! YOU'RE NOT GONNA LEAVE ME HERE.

WAIT A SEC. HEY! -MITCH: [LAUGHS DEVIOUSLY]

SEE YA! -ED: COME ON BACK!

-MITCH: BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE?

-ALEX: SURE!

-THE TIDE IS COMING IN!

HEY!

-HEY, JESSIE!

HEY! J.D., OH MY GOSH, CAN YOU DO ME A HUGE FAVOR?

BILLY NESS JUST CALLED ME AND, UM,

HE SAW MY STUNT REEL.

HE WANTS ME TO GO IN AND MEET HIM AT HIS OFFICE.

-THAT'S GREAT!

-YEAH, EXCEPT FOR I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THERE

IN HALF AN HOUR.

-YOU'D BETTER GET GOING.

-I KNOW, BUT I PROMISED THAT I'D GET THESE TOWELS DONE BEFORE I LEFT.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN PUT THEM IN THE DRYER FOR ME?

-YEAH, I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT.

-GREAT. OH!

THEY'RE GONNA BE DONE IN LIKE HALF AN HOUR

AND, UM, I'VE ALREADY SET THE DRYER

SO YOU ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST THROW IN THE TOWELS,

HIT THE BUTTON, AND YOU'RE READY TO GO.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. -NO PROBLEM.

-[WASHER RATTLING]

-REALLY?

-LIKE 15 PEOPLE IN ONE OFFICE.

-IN ONE OFFICE? -IT WAS HORRIBLE.

-OH...

-OH MY GOSH...

-ALEX: [SIGHS WITH RELIEF] GOD, I LOVE GETTING EVEN

WITH THAT LITTLE WEASEL.

-HOW LONG DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE HIM OUT THERE?

-HMM, LET'S SEE. WHEN IS HIGH TIDE?

-MIDNIGHT. -MIDNIGHT, REALLY? [CHUCKLES]

-YOU GUYS ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

WHAT? WHAT IS...

THE BIG... DEAL.

-[WASHING MACHINE THUMPING]

-UGH!

UGH!

UH, WE HAVE GOTTA TALK ABOUT THIS GIRL VERY SOON.

-YEAH.

I'M SORRY, JESSIE.

-ALEX, I SWEAR IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME.

CAN I TALK TO MITCH OR SOMETHING?

-IT'S NOTHING AGAINST YOU PERSONALLY,

WE JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE CUT OUT

FOR THIS LINE OF WORK.

-[SOBS]

THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST DAY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

-[GROANS SYMPATHETICALLY]

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY, JESSIE.

I JUST WISH THERE WERE SOMETHING ELSE I COULD DO.

-I'LL BE OKAY. I JUST NEED A SECOND.

-OKAY.

-[MOANS]

SEE? ALL BETTER.

-I'M REALLY SORRY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.

-ME TOO.

HEY, THANKS FOR GIVING ME A SHOT.

-YEAH.

GOOD LUCK, OKAY?

-THANKS.

-HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

-YOU KNOW ME, I'M ALWAYS GETTING SCRAPED UP

AND STUFF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

ANYWAY, I GOTTA RUN BUT I'M REALLY SORRY

I LET YOU DOWN, ALEX.

SEE YOU LATER.

-J.D.: WELL, ONE THING'S FOR SURE.

WHOEVER'S MAKING THESE RESCUES

SURE KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

-MAYBE IT'S AN EX-LIFEGUARD, DOESN'T WANNA SHOW US UP.

-YEAH, I DON'T KNOW TOO MANY LIFEGUARDS,

PAST OR PRESENT, WHO WOULD AVOID TAKING CREDIT FOR A RESCUE.

-WHAT ABOUT FUTURE?

-FUTURE WHAT?

-FUTURE LIFEGUARD.

-WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

-I'M TALKING ABOUT I THINK I FOUND OUT

WHO THE PHANTOM LIFEGUARD IS.

IT'S JESSIE.

-JESSIE?

-YEAH, SHE'S GOT THE SAME SCRATCHES ON HER ARMS

AS THAT LITTLE GIRL THAT FELL OFF THE JETTY.

-ALEX, SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN THOSE CUTS ANYWHERE.

-YEAH, BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

WHEN DID THE FIRST ANONYMOUS RESCUE TAKE PLACE?

-THE DAY JESSIE GOT HERE. -EXACTLY.

EARLY IN THE MORNING, BEFORE SHE SHOWED UP TO WORK.

I'M TELLING YOU, GUYS. IT'S HER.

SHE MAY NOT BE MUCH WITH A MOP,

BUT SHE IS THE BEST PROSPECT FOR A LIFEGUARD

I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME.

-[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

-YOU KNOW WHAT I'M WRITING ON YOUR FACE?

-DELTA LAMBDA DELTA, SIR! -MM-HMM. AND WHAT IS THAT?

-IT'S THE BEST FRATERNITY IN THE SCHOOL, SIR!

-WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD?

-I WANNA BE ACCEPTED AS A BROTHER, SIR!

-GOOD BOY. MORE BEER?

-ABSOLUTELY. THANK YOU, SIR. MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

THANK YOU, SIR! THANK YOU-- -SHUT UP!

-YES, SIR!

-WELL, WE'RE GONNA GO CATCH SOME WAVES NOW.

-UH, FELLAS, WHAT ABOUT THE TIDE COMING IN?

-EH, IT SHOULDN'T BE HIGH TIDE FOR ANOTHER HALF AN HOUR.

-WE SHOULD BE DONE BY THEN [LAUGHS]

-SHOULD BE, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.

-UH, FELLAS? THINK I CAN...

-[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

-[FOREBODING MUSIC]

-FELLAS, I THINK I'M SINKING HERE.

-SHUT UP. NO ONE'S TALKING TO YOU.

-[MOCKINGLY] OH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M SINKING! [LAUGHS]

-I'M NOT KIDDING. I'M SINKING! HELP!

-[LOW, DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS]

-WATCH IT! WATCH IT! STAY BACK.

-FRAT GUY 1: OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!

-FRAT GUY 2: DON'T GET TOO CLOSE.

-FRAT GUY 1: JUST THROW IT IN!

-WATCH IT. SEAN!

-I CAN'T REACH IT MAN. THROW IT AGAIN!

-FRAT GUY 1: DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!

-I'M GOING DOWN!

I GOT IT. I GOT IT. COME ON, PULL.

-PULL IT!

-COME ON, PULL.

-[FRATERNITY BOYS GRUNTING]

-SOMEBODY HELP!

-HURRY UP. THROW IT BACK.

-FRAT GUY 1: HELP!

COME ON, SEAN. PULL IT OUT.

-COME ON FELLAS. I'M SINKING, MAN.

PULL THIS THING OUT OF HERE. COME ON!

-FRAT GUY 1: SEAN, PULL IT OUT! -FRAT GUY 2: COME ON, THAT'S IT!

-FRAT GUY 1: SEAN, HOLD ON!

-[FRATERNITY BOYS SHOUTING IN PANIC]

-HEY! CAN YOU GET A LIFEGUARD OR CALL 911?

PLEASE HURRY, IT'S AN EMERGENCY. -OKAY.

-SEAN: I CAN'T REACH IT, MAN, THROW IT AGAIN!

-FRAT GUY 2: YOU'VE GOTTA GRAB IT!

-FRAT GUY 1: HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!

-SEAN: HURRY UP! I'M GOING DOWN!

-FRAT GUY 1: HELP!

-FRAT GUY 2: COME ON, SEAN, YOU GOTTA GRAB IT!

-FRAT GUY 1: ANOTHER INCH!

-SEAN: I CAN'T REACH IT, MAN, THROW IT AGAIN!

-FRAT GUY 1: HELP!

-HURRY UP, I'M GOING DOWN!

-SOMEBODY HELP!

-OKAY, LISTEN UP! LET ME HELP!

-FRAT GUY 1: COME ON, SEAN, PULL IT!

-COME ON FELLAS, I'M SINKING, MAN.

PULL THIS THING OUTTA HERE.

-DUDE, THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK!

-SEAN: I CAN'T REACH IT.

-FRAT GUY 1: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-HERE, WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! BACK OFF!

-FRAT GUY 2: USE THE BOARD.

-GRAB MY ANKLES!

PUSH ME OUT THERE! COME ON!

I GOT YOU, OKAY?

-OKAY, DON'T LET GO. -I GOT HIS HAND!

COME ON, PULL!

[JESSIE GRUNTING] -COME ON, SEAN, HOLD ON!

-JESSIE: PULL!

COME ON! [GRUNTING]

-SEAN, HOLD ON! -JESSIE: HOLD ON!

IT'S NOT WORKING! HE'S TOO DEEP!

OKAY, WAIT HERE.

TAKE MY KEYS.

GO GET MY BIKE LOCK.

-WHAT FOR?

-JESSIE: JUST DO IT! -DON'T LET GO!

-JESSIE: COME ON! -I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

-JESSIE: YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY!

-[FRENZIED ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

HOLD ON!

HOLD ON!

WHERE IS HE?

-FRAT GUY 1: I GOT IT! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

-HURRY UP! -STRIP THAT TUBING OFF AND TOSS IT TO ME!

-I'M GOING DOWN!

-YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY!

DUDE, HOLD ME! I'M SLIPPING!

IT'S OKAY, HOLD ON! -HANG IN THERE, SEAN

-HERE, HERE, HERE! TAKE IT!

-PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH SO YOU CAN BREATHE!

-[DISTANT SIRENS WAILING]

HOLD ME! OH MY GOD! DON'T LET GO!

DON'T LET GO! HOLD! DON'T LET GO!

DON'T! -HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

-[SIRENS APPROACHING]

-[GRUNTING]

-FRAT GUY 2: HOW ARE WE GONNA GET HIM OUT?

-DON'T MOVE! PULL!

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY! WE'RE GONNA GET YOU!

HEY, GUYS! HE'S BURIED IN THE SINKHOLE!

-ALEX: IS HE STILL ALIVE? -JESSIE: YEAH, I'VE GOT HIS HAND!

HE'S BREATHING THROUGH THIS TUBE.

-ALL RIGHT, J.D., GET A PADDLEBOARD.

CODY, HOOK UP THE WINCH. -YEP!

-HURRY! -HANG ON!

-HOLD ON, DUDE, THEY'RE HERE, OKAY?

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

-J.D.: YEAH, I GOT HIS FEET.

-[GRUNTING]

-MITCH: GIVE ME SOME SLACK! CUT ME SOME SLACK!

-[JESSIE GRUNTING]

-CODY: GO AHEAD, GRAB HIS LEGS.

-MITCH!

-HANG ON. HANG ON.

-J.D.: GRAB HIS LEGS.

-JESSIE: HERE IT COMES! [CRYING OUT]

-MORE SLACK!

-MORE SLACK.

-MITCH: HANG ON. HANG ON.

-JESSIE: COME ON!

-[GRUNTING]

-JESSIE: IT'S COMING, HOLD ON, MAN!

-OKAY, HE'S ON! PULL ME UP!

-CODY: YOU GOT HIM? -MITCH: YEAH.

-JESSIE: DON'T LET GO OF IT.

-CODY: ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT UP, ALEX!

-[GRUNTING] HOLD ON!

HERE HE COMES!

PULL!

YES!

-SLOW BREATHS. SLOW BREATHS. OKAY.

-YOU OKAY, MAN?

-YEAH. I'M ALL RIGHT.

-GET SOME WATER, HUH? -YEAH. YEAH.

-JESSIE: DEEP BREATHS.

-GOOD JOB.

-SEAN: OH, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH.

-MITCH: I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION.

WHY DID YOU DISAPPEAR AFTER ALL THE RESCUES?

-I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS I JUST DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY

TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

I DON'T REALLY LIKE A LOT OF ATTENTION.

I'M MORE OF A BACKGROUND KIND OF GIRL.

-WELL, THAT'S A GOOD QUALITY TO HAVE FOR A STUNTWOMAN.

-EXACTLY.

BUT EVEN THAT'S ON HOLD FOR A LITTLE WHILE, ANYWAY.

THAT STUNT COORDINATOR I MET WITH,

HE CAME ONTO ME.

THAT'S NOT THE WAY I WANNA BREAK INTO THE BIZ.

-UGH.

-YOU KNOW, LIFEGUARD ROOKIE SCHOOL STARTS NEXT WEEK.

YOU'D BE A TERRIFIC CANDIDATE.

-YOU REALLY THINK I COULD BE A LIFEGUARD?

-YOU'RE A NATURAL.

-GREAT! I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

-ED: HEY! HEY! I'M A DESPERATE MAN.

-OH NO, IT CAN'T BE. -ED: I TRIED TO WALK INTO SANTA MONICA

AND I FELL DOWN ABOUT 18 TIMES.

SOME LITTLE KID TRIPPED ME.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T MAKE A PHONE CALL INSIDE

ONE OF THESE THINGS.

I COULDN'T GET NO CHANGE.

THE GOOD NEWS IS, THESE THINGS FLOAT.

BUT YOU KNOW THE TIDE COULD HAVE TAKEN ME TO JAPAN.

I DON'T THINK THIS IS FUNNY AT ALL.

THIS ISN'T MY IDEA OF A JOKE.

-WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE?

-ACTUALLY I WOULD LIKE A FRAPPUCCINO.

-FRAPPUCCINO?

-FRAPPUCCINO. -FRAPPUCCINO!

-ED: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T LEAVE ME A--

DON'T! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!

HEY! DON'T! HEY! HEY!

I WANT A FRAPPUCCINO TOO! DECAF! MOCHA!

CAFFEINE DRIVES ME CRAZY.

HEY! HEY!

-[END THEME PLAYING]