Original subtitles

(Cat) - Tonight on "Acapulco H.E.A.T."...

- Ahh!

(camera clicking)

(screaming)

- Good luck pumping yourself!

(screaming)

- ♪ Oh, can you feel it ♪

♪ Burning inside ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Sweat dripping down my spine ♪

♪ Making it hazy ♪

♪ Wet fingers touching mine ♪

♪ Making me crazy ♪

♪ Out on the street I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ Deep in the darkest night ♪

♪ I feel the motion ♪

♪ Keep all my love alive ♪

♪ Come to the ocean ♪

♪ Out on the street ♪

♪ I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪ I feel, I feel, I feel the heat ♪

♪

(motor revving)

(gunshot firing)

- Hey, guys, look!

♪

♪

- Finally a day in the sun.

I feel like...

Jeez.

I feel like I should be conducting

some kind of primitive ritual.

Ooh!

- Your dating behavior already qualifies you.

God.

What a helpless feeling that has to be.

Hanging up there from a parachute

with somebody shooting at you.

- It was pretty awful. - Yeah.

- Well, I imagine there must be a little downturn

in the parasail income.

- I think that's terrible to focus on business

when a man has died.

- Well, let's not mourn until we're sure

the son of a bitch is dead.

- Uh... you knew him?

- I was his wife.

But you wouldn't know it as much as he was around.

- We're sorry about your husband.

- I'm not.

(Cat) - Uh, then we're sorry about

whatever emotions you're feeling.

(Nicole) - Is there something we can do?

- I'm here to hire your services.

- What makes you think our services are for sale?

- It seems we have a mutual friend on the Supreme Court.

- The Supreme Court?

Which one?

- What, uh, kind of services did this, uh,

mutual friend say we might perform?

- He assured me that if that rat

did fake his death, you'd find him.

Or if somebody actually did kill him, you'd find the body.

So I can take him home and give him an indecent burial.

- And not have to wait a few years

to collect on any insurance.

- That too.

- I-- I-- I don't really understand...

how you might think he might still be alive.

I mean, there were 50 witnesses to the shooting.

- I've known Frankie long enough to know

that he wasn't away on business.

He had the look of a hawk circling its prey.

- And you weren't the prey?

- Exactly.

- Do you have any pictures of Frank-- uh, Frankie?

- No, he hated having his picture taken.

- Maybe a sneaky one?

One he didn't know about?

- A girlfriend of mine might have one from a party last year.

- Well, it would help.

- Sure.

- Do you, uh, know our fees?

- Look, dead or alive, I'll pay you.

I mean, him, not me.

- We'll see what we can do.

- Thank you.

♪

(engine revving)

♪

- Watch.

(chuckling)

Hey, hey!

Business is lousy, Tommy.

I will give you half-hour ride for free.

- Manuel, the reason you wanna give me a free ride

is so you can have a gringo flying around for advertising.

- If they find the body, it will be better.

Right now, everybody thinks sharks eat gringos.

- Yeah.

Well, hey, I'm looking for the body, can you tell me anything?

- He was a nice guy.

I liked him.

- You fastened him in a harness

and in five minutes, you form a friendship?

- He was a regular.

- Regular what?

- Good guy.

He'd gone up a half-dozen times.

And he tipped good.

- Can I, uh, see the harness?

- The federals have it.

(burping)

- You know, hanging around on the beach drinking

is not gonna make people really wanna go up.

- With all this sniper and shark talk,

anybody who would go up today

will be drinking more than me.

- All right, come on, I'll go up for a short ride with you

to get you some business.

- Ah, muy bien, Tommy.

(laughing)

(speaking Spanish)

- Yeah, right, anything you say.

♪

- Well, the women remember him.

- It is as if he was invisible to the men.

(Cat chuckling)

- Well, I'm gonna go talk to the housekeeping girls

and see what I can find out.

And then I'm gonna go check his room.

- The room is probably sealed.

- So? - Oh.

- I'll go check at the Bel-Air Hotel.

One of the girls there said that she thought

she overheard him making some arrangements

to meet with someone there in a couple of days.

- Okay.

(computer keys clacking)

(groaning)

- Man, you look distressed.

- Either I have lost all of my skills,

or this guy's one of the cleverest people alive.

- You, uh, care to elaborate on that?

- I can't.

- You can't?

- I tried to pull his passport from INS, and it's gone.

I-- I tried to work off his last-known address,

and I get a maze of addresses.

I look for bank accounts, and there are so many,

it is going to take me days to find the real ones

and eliminate other legitimate Frank Bartlows.

I-- I try--

- Okay, I get it, I get it.

I'll catch you later.

I'll be with our friend, the captain, if you need me.

♪

- Hola, my name's Remington.

- You've got to be kidding.

- And I wish I was, but my dad had a thing for firearms.

He was a lousy shot, but he liked guns.

And even though he wasn't a great shot,

my mother made him get rid of them...

before the divorce.

- My father was a pacifist.

- I think my dad was too, he just liked guns.

You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

I would like very much just to buy you a drink.

- I'm working. - Just one?

- It would mean a lot to me.

- You don't know me. - Yes, I, do, I...

- It's about energy.

I felt yours when I watched you walk in here.

I can feel it now while we're standing here.

- Do you feel that? - No.

- It's like you are a planet and I'm a gravita--

I'm a spaceship caught in your gravitational pull.

- That's a frankly suggestive little metaphor.

- Just one drink?

I am the most knowing guy in Puerto Vallarta.

I know everything.

- Everything? - Everything.

- Just one drink? One?

- Okay.

♪

(grunting)

- Whoa, hey!

Whoa, it's okay, there's been a mistake, I--

Whoa, it's okay, whoa!

(grunting)

I guess no one told you about Mexican jails, huh?

- You're the one that's gonna be puffing up on

beans and tortillas, darling!

This is my husband's hotel room!

- This room belongs to Frank Bartlow.

- I know, you idiot!

I'm Mary Rose Bartlow.

- His ex-wife?

- His now wife!

Or it appears his now widow.

♪

- For a woman, you defend yourself very well.

- Shame I didn't learn to defend myself

from Frankie's charm.

- Sorry to hear that.

- So am I.

He hit me for a ton of money.

Even his insurance is a dud.

I have to prove that he's dead.

So what were you doing in his hotel room?

- Well, the company I work for was hired

to find him for his body.

- Who hired you?

- An interested party.

- That's all I'm going to get?

- That's it.

- Then I guess I'm not the only one

who thinks this son of a bitch might be alive.

- Well, let me pay for these and, um,

I'll take you to meet my partners.

- Okay.

First I wanna clean up a little.

- All right, I'll meet you outside the front door.

(horn honking)

- I'm still trying to, uh, figure out...

... how a man with three bullets in his heart

released the harness.

- Well, maybe it wasn't fastened right in the first place.

- Strange it, uh, should release after shooting

instead of before.

- Yeah, true, but...

... maybe he had enough left in him to...

release it in an attempt to stop being such a perfect target.

- I do not consider a man

being pulled behind a-- a speeding boat...

a perfect target.

- Well, maybe if you were a better shot, you would.

- Anytime, my friend.

The firing range.

Dollars, not pesos.

- Well, see, I'm afraid that if you lost,

it'd be the firing squad for me.

- True.

- All right, well, you let me know if the body turns up, okay?

- And you will let me know whatever you find.

- Absolutely.

♪

- I traveled a lot in Europe for many years.

- Did you find it...

exciting or just lonely?

- There were times I found it to be both.

- A few laughs, a few tears.

- I try not to cry.

I still don't.

- You are a fine woman, Nicole.

- Thank you.

I'm also a woman who has to get back to work.

- Dinner tonight. - 8:00.

- You son of a bitch!

Ahh!

♪

(tsking)

- You didn't tell me you were having a sugar craving.

- She didn't like the fact that I was working

for an interested party and wouldn't tell her who it is.

- Why was she running through a restaurant?

- Why don't you ask her?

- Why were you running through a restaurant?

- Because, I saw a guy

who I thought looked like Frankie's brother.

I figured maybe he was down here hiding Frankie.

- And what makes you think he's still alive?

- Tax time.

My accountant was going over some of the books

for one of the health clubs.

He noticed that Frank moved some money from account to account.

During the process, somewhere the money disappeared.

- Do you have any pictures of him?

- No.

We had a wedding album, but that was stolen along

with some jewelry a few months after we were married.

- Didn't that raise any suspicions?

- I was in love.

Or heat.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.

So the other interested party doesn't have any photos either?

(Cat) - No.

- Okay, let us speculate that Frank Bartlow is alive.

- Well, if he is alive, he may have

already have left the country.

- No.

Too many beautiful women here.

He'd have a real hard time leaving.

I tell you, that guy would come visit me at one of the clubs,

his head would whip around like a blind dog in a meat market.

- Maybe I'll check all the places in town

where he might be.

Why don't you come with me and see if you can help me spot him?

- Okay, um, first I wanna get cleaned up a little.

- For real this time.

(Nicole) - So dear Frank has two wives.

- I think she saw him at the hotel.

- If she did, I don't get the feeling she's going to tell us.

- It's the same feeling I got.

- And if she does spot him again,

I don't think she's going to be able to hide it.

- You look terrific.

- Thank you.

Did you run Mary Rose Bartlow?

- Yes.

She's a real wife.

I mean, she's married to him.

I also found three other real wives besides Kathleen

and there could be more.

- Five wives?

- That's not all.

Now, I'm not 100% sure of this,

but it looks as if he may have been dead before.

- Explain.

- There is so much electronic information on Frank Bartlow,

I don't know who's who.

- Could it be another Frank Bartlow?

- I think some of it has to be

a couple of other Frank Bartlows.

I'll know later tonight when and if I can get my hands

on some prints or dental charts or something

that belonged to Frank that was married to Kathleen.

Then I can compare them with the ones I've got

on the one that died nine years ago.

- I'm going to dinner.

You can call me on my cell phone.

- I hate to interrupt your evening.

- Me too.

Ah, do it anyway.

♪

- Line 'em up.

- I have a confession.

When I saw you walking across

the restaurant towards me, I wondered...

... if my knees would hold up when I stood up.

I mean, look at you.

You're so beautiful.

I feel like I should faint so you know how deep I feel.

- You look very handsome yourself.

- And that heart

is contained in such a wonderful...

Don't misunderstand me.

I am equally drawn to your inner beauty.

- It's okay.

I work hard to maintain this body.

It did not just fall off a tree.

I like the fact that you appreciate all of me.

- It's very easy to do.

You're beautiful... you're busy.

Just what is it that you do?

- About what?

(chuckling)

- A good answer.

Vague... but good.

- Some friends and I own a boutique on the beach.

- Whew...

- That's all you do is run your boutique?

- Mm-hmm, why?

- Mmm...

I don't know, I just...

You seem like someone who

would require more mental stimulation.

- I require all kinds of stimulation.

It doesn't have to come from what I do for a living.

- Wow, that's another good answer.

I better excuse myself

and wipe the perspiration off my forehead.

- Whew...

(woman) - I knew it!

♪

- Take it easy, I...

(woman screaming)

(screaming)

(door closing)

(woman) - Let me out of here!

(woman screaming continues)

- Nicole.

- What happened to you?

- One-- one of the boys

had a little too much to drink.

Fell down, and I helped him up and he started to--

started a fight with me.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah.

He's resting quietly too.

You know what, let's go dancing.

- Oh, I have to go to, uh...

I'll be right with you.

- No, but I wanna-- I wanna beat the crowds,

and I wanna get a really good table.

- All of life is a matter of timing.

♪

- Tell my dinner partner

I had an emergency phone call, my mother's sick.

- Freeze!

Frank, you...

Where do you think you're going?!

- Who the hell are you?!

Frank?!

- Let go of me!

(women screaming)

(women screaming)

(screaming continues)

- Oh!

I've lost the diamond in my engagement ring!

Oh, it's your fault!

Help me look for it.

- Not until you tell me why you want Frankie.

(women screaming)

Get off of me!

Ahh!

Please, let me go!

(screaming continues)

(laughing)

(Cat) - "Acapulco H.E.A.T." will be right back.

- Cat, I'd like you to meet Annabelle Bartlow.

- As in Frank?

- Who are you two?

- Allow me to introduce Kathleen Bartlow

and Mary Rose Bartlow.

- Um, there must be some mistake.

- I'm afraid not.

You are all married to Frank Bartlow.

- How charming.

We're related.

- Oh, God. - Oh, God.

♪

- What are we waiting for?

- For a friend who's got some more information on the, uh,

supposedly deceased Frank Bartlow.

- We all know him already.

- When were you married?

- What?

- When did you and Frank get married?

- June of '92.

- How about you?

- None of your business.

- June of '93.

And you were June of '91.

- Well... Frank likes June.

- Well, being that I've been married to him the longest,

I think I should have some say in this investigation.

- So far, there are four other Mrs. Bartlows.

Two of which were married before you.

- He was married to them when he married me?

- Hey, he was married to you when he married us.

- I guess he was looking for something

he couldn't get at home.

- Oh, you bitch.

- I'd watch what I'd say if I was you, darling.

He was married to you when he married me.

I'd say he was definitely looking.

- None of you are the last Mrs. Bartlow.

And I don't think that his performance

had much to do with, um...

what he was lacking.

- What is she talking about?

- I don't know.

What are you talking about?

- Frank Bartlow was in Marshall Hospital

in Illinois in March of '91.

And, um...

... had one of those pump devices installed.

- What kind of pump?

- One of those pumps.

You know.

- You mean, like a, uh...

... blood-pressure pump?

- Well, not exactly.

Well, yeah.

Maybe a blood-pressure pump.

But sort of... localized.

- How local?

- Below-the-waist local.

- The son of a bitch!

(laughing)

- I need to tell them about the beneficiary.

- Later.

- Tell you what, when I find that fraud,

I'm gonna pump him until he floats.

(all laughing)

- Why don't you three go enjoy

a tall ice tea and, uh, enjoy the beach?

I'm sure you all have a lot to talk about.

- Oh, I think we have some work to do.

- Listen, you guys start prowling around town,

it's guaranteed to scare him off.

If you haven't already.

- None of you know what he looks like.

- Maybe we do.

We'll have an artist work with the three of you...

just to make sure.

Then we'll know.

(laughing)

(birds chirping)

(car approaching)

(Remington) - Nicole!

I'm glad I found you.

I went by the boutique.

I left a message on your phone.

I feel terrible about having to leave last night.

- We all have emergencies.

How's your mom?

- Better, thanks.

Let me buy you lunch at the Marriott to make up for it.

- Okay.

Just let me make one phone call.

- Okay.

(engine revving)

♪

So how's business?

You don't seem to be spending too much time at the boutique.

- To tell you the truth,

I haven't had much time lately.

I'm helping out a friend

to find out if her husband is dead or alive.

- That must be awful for her.

- Hmm, it's starting to look like maybe he's alive.

Of course, she's going to kill him.

But it will solve the mystery.

- Hmm.

(camera clicking)

- What was that? - What?

- I thought I heard a camera clicking somewhere over here.

- Why wouldn't you hear a camera?

The town is full of tourist.

Lots of cameras, lots of cameras.

♪

How we doing?

- Not too good.

- You found them.

- Yeah, prowling around town

like a pack of wild dogs on the hunt.

- This better be good.

(all) - It's him.

- It looks so recent.

- It's Remington and I having lunch.

- Remington?

- What made you take his picture?

- His sudden need to get to know me and what I do

started to make me suspicious.

- He always talked about changing his name to Remington.

- He told me he wanted to change it to Vance.

- Lance.

- I found he told a lot of things to a lot of people.

Joanna?

- Almost all of the insurance policies he had with all of you

and the other wives

have been changed

so that one Bebe Halston is the beneficiary.

- Bebe?

- If that's her real name.

- Yeah, we figured he's been hanging around here

either because it's a good place to hide

or he plans on meeting this Bebe.

- Or more like making Nicole wife number whatever.

- I don't think so.

His life-insurance policies amount to some $16 million.

- I think some new Kathleen hired us

and wanted to get close to me to get information.

- Bebe?

- Without his body, she'll have to wait

seven years to get the money.

- But we've all seen him.

- I don't think it would make much difference.

Bebe could hire lawyers

who would say it was sour grapes from wives

who found out they couldn't get any money.

- What are we gonna do?

- Find him.

(seagull squawking)

(Tommy) - Whoo.

(Tommy coughing)

(man) - Sharks got to him.

(Tommy coughing)

- No kidding.

(clearing throat)

You said this was Bartlow's body but there...

are no bullet holes in it.

- I know.

But, uh, according to the identification in the wallet,

which contains $6,000,

it's Frank Bartlow.

(sighing)

(Tommy) - Stay tuned for more "Acapulco H.E.A.T."

- Doesn't it like bother you that the head, hands

and feet are gone?

Like maybe it wasn't his body and he wants us to think it is.

- I would guess, uh...

those were the parts of his body thrashing around in the water.

And therefore, the most appealing to the sharks.

- Then why didn't the shark or the sharks eat the rest of him?

- We will know more when the pathologist

has completed his examination.

- Bingo.

- Oh.

- Did the body have its... genitalia?

- Yes.

- Have your pathologist see if, um...

the body had a pump.

- A pump? - Yes, a pump.

- You mean, like, uh...

for his heart or something?

- Uh...

Can you help us here?

- A pump.

A pump to pump up his, you know...

- They have such things?

- Yes.

- Frank Bartlow...

had one of these pumps?

- Yes.

- Anytime you want to?

- That's what I understand.

Anytime you want to.

- Now, there's a good reason why they wouldn't wanna kill him.

- I think that, uh... would depend on when and where

he decided to, uh...

... pump his pump.

- What do you plan on doing with the women?

- Releasing them to you.

- Well, maybe we could get more done with them in jail.

- If you enjoy your relationship with the federales,

you will take them with you.

- Oh.

- Sounds fair with me.

How about you guys?

- Sure.

(man) - Okay.

♪

(Nicole) - Have lunch here on us.

- Then go to your rooms and stay there.

- That doesn't make any sense.

We know what he looks like.

- In case you weren't paying attention,

you are under suspicion for the murder of Frank Bartlow.

You do not wanna be running around town.

- And what really worries me is the body.

Now, you three may have panicked him to the point

of killing somebody to cover his tracks.

- Now stay here and stay safe.

Go.

Think they're gonna stay?

- No.

- You know, I overheard them talking about Frankie

having a gambling problem.

- He had to get the convertible somewhere.

- Yeah, well, maybe we can find him before they finish lunch.

- If I were them, I would be ordering to go.

♪

(cell phone ringing)

(cell phone beeping)

- Hello?

(Frank) - I understand you know who I am now, so...

how about you meet me and we talk about how I resolve this?

- How about you start by apologizing

to whatever family had their relative mutilated by you?

- Nicole...

I was assured that the body was a John Doe.

Now, we can waste time talking about the past...

... or you can meet me and we can find a way

to put this thing to bed.

- I thought it was me you wanted to put to bed?

- Absolutely, but things got a little out of hand.

- Where do you want to meet?

(cell phone ringing)

- Yeah, hello?

(Joanna) - I just got something that

adds up to something more.

- Okay, whatever that means.

- Two nights ago, a male body was stolen from

Ortiz's Funeral Home.

Same height and weight as the dead body that showed up.

- Well, now that's not a bad something.

Why don't you give the info to Captain Rodriquez?

- Oh, he already knows about the body.

The night watchman was killed when they took it.

- Then there's two bodies.

- Well, the watchman was 81.

- Well, now we're not just looking for a bigamist.

He's also a murderer.

Now that's a something.

- That's not all.

Nicole doesn't know about this, and-- and...

she's meeting Bartlow at the South Point.

♪

(horn honking)

- I'm glad that you came.

- You may not be when we're finished here.

- The fact that you came

makes me think that maybe...

... just maybe we can negotiate.

- And just what do you want to negotiate?

- I am going to be a very rich man... soon.

I'd like to share it with you.

- 16 million or so?

- We can go away,

live very nicely in the Caribbean.

It can be a great life.

- Most of the islands have extradition treaties

with the United States.

- We would make beautiful children.

- And we can ask Bebe to babysit.

- You're not interested.

- Not in the least.

So this is the one who help you stage the shooting.

- Yup.

And he's the one that's gonna help me get rid of you.

- That's stupid.

Everyone knows you're alive.

We have medical records from your implant.

The pathologist is probably checking right now.

- Well, once you four are out of the picture,

no one will spend a lot of time

listening to the rantings of disinherited wives.

- Ahh!

- Whoa, whoa.

Very feisty, Nicole.

- Good luck pumping yourself!

- Just be careful about my operation.

- Let me go, you big...

Stop it! Tommy!

- Nicole, head shot.

- Oh, my hero.

- Yeah, that's me, your giant mosquito.

(sighing)

(Nicole) - Stay tuned for more "Acapulco H.E.A.T."

♪

(Nicole) - Hey, boy!

- Uh...

Okay, whatever she wants, the answer is no.

- One of Frank's other wives is here

trying to get him out of jail.

- I wouldn't worry about that if I were you.

Even though he thought the body was from the funeral home,

the government's charging him with a killing.

- And all for the money.

- I'm sorry, we'd love to chat,

but we're on a very important mission.

- No, no, that's okay.

I just wanted to make sure the bum didn't get a break.

- Oh, send us a card!

- Have a nice trip.

- Actually, I'm not leaving right away.

- You're not?

- No, no, Mary Rose, Annabelle and I are leaving

on a two-week cruise from here this afternoon.

- Great, have a terrific time, okay?

- Bye.

- Oh, look at these.

Cute.

- Joanna, could not get away.

- Forget Joanna.

Think about those poor men those three women

are going to meet on the cruise.

- Now wait a minute, okay?

Some of those are beautiful women, you know.

I wouldn't mind being locked in a cabin with Annabelle.

- Locked in a cabin is right.

Those women just can't help themselves

but make any man they encounter suffer.

- They cannot get a Frank Bartlow,

so someone has to pay for his escapades.

- Oh, boy.

Bye, Joanna!

- Good luck!

- Help me to pick a few out for my cruise.

Oh, I like this.

What do you think?

♪

♪