Original subtitles

[***]

AMINA: Today was a momentous day.

For the first time in Lady Parts' herstory,

we were not sisters speaking our truths,

expressing our woman rage,

exploring our intersectional individuality.

We were mercenaries. Hired-guns.

We were wedding singers.

Okay, okay, okay, this is Saira, she's the leader.

She's the leader. And Bisma is on bass.

AMINA: It was Uncle Steve's wedding,

and he was a die-hard Lady Parts fan.

Steve was at every gig.

Bought all our merch.

He liked that we were "underground."

Read: unsuccessful.

Okay. We just get through this,

get the money, and get out of here.

Yes. Mm-hm.

We're doing this for the album. For the album.

Let's go.

[CLEARS THROAT]

One, two, three, four!

* Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah *

* Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah *

* I think I did it again *

* I made you believe We're more than just friends *

* Oh, baby *

* It might seem like a crush *

* But it doesn't mean That I'm serious *

* 'Cause to lose all my senses *

* That is just So typically me *

* Oh, baby, baby *

* Oops, I did it again *

* I played with your heart Got lost in the game *

* Oh, baby, baby *

* Oops, you think I'm in love *

* That I'm sent from above *

* I'm not that innocent *

* You see, my problem is this *

* I'm dreaming away *

* Wishing that heroes They truly exist *

* I cry, watching the days *

* Can't you see I'm a fool In so many ways *

* 'Cause to lose all my senses *

* That is just so typically me *

* Oh, baby, baby *

* Oops, I did it again *

* I played with your heart Got lost in the game *

* Oh, baby, baby *

* Oops, you think I'm in love *

* That I'm sent from above *

* I'm not that innocent *

* Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah *

[IN HIGH VOICE] "All aboard. Uh-- Uh, Britney, before you go--"

"Oh, it's beautiful, but, wait. Isn't this--?"

[IN DEEP VOICE] "Yeah, yeah, it is."

[IN HIGH VOICE] "But I thought the old lady

dropped it in the ocean at the end."

[IN DEEP VOICE] "Well, baby. I went down and got it for you."

"Aw, you shouldn't have." "Shouldn't have."

* Oops, I did it again To your heart *

* Got lost in this game Oh, baby *

* Oops, you think that I'm sent from above *

* I'm not that innocent *

[CHEERING]

[WEDDING PARTY CONTINUES IN DISTANCE]

I was hoping we might get some "Voldemort"

or some "Bashir" tonight.

Yeah, well, they've got a strict "no originals" policy,

so Britney all the way.

Shame. Yeah, Celine keeps Steve on a pretty tight leash.

I really enjoyed your gig at the Garage last month.

I actually tried to catch you after, but you'd all run off.

Late-night donut craving. Ah, fair.

You shouldn't be doing this.

I mean, you're Lady Parts. You're not a wedding band.

Yeah, well, money ain't free, so here we are.

I can help.

Hm.

I've been managing bands for 20 years.

Cool. But we've got a band manager.

Uh-- Oh, I get it. Your-- Your mate's your manager, right?

[CHUCKLES] That is sweet.

Don't-- Don't get me wrong. I remember those early days.

I get it, really.

[SIGHS] But if you do decide to get serious,

you know, you've got my card.

Yeah, we are serious.

No, I mean serious like a six-figure,

four-album record deal, opening for, say, Le Tigre

on their world tour, playing the festival circuit...

that kind of serious.

And you think you can make that happen for us?

I wouldn't have creepily stalked you up here

if I didn't, would I?

You've got my card.

[***]

[***]

White boy, huh? Plot twist.

He's a fellow musician. We are people of music.

Have you made sweet, sweet music together yet?

Once. At his folk night. It meant nothing.

Are you seriously interested in him?

[THINKING] Hm. I don't know.

I mean, Noor was mad judgey about a date with Billy,

but was she right? Would it even work?

Also, people talk. "Oh, she's dating a white boy,

she must hate herself and be complicit in white supremacy."

[GASPS] What if he expects something more from this date?

Something beyond my halal-limitations?

Oi, inner monologue. Share the wealth.

Uh, what was the question?

Hat Boy. You feeling his vibe? Digging his flow?

[SIGHS] I might dig it.

I'm exploring. An exploratory dig.

[SCOFFS]

[PLAYING SLOW TUNE]

Hm. [SIGHS]

You feel the sustain on that? Mm.

It's lovely. Lovely.

Mm. Hm.

Swapsies? Yeah.

[GRUNTS] Wow.

Nice.

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Oh...

Hoo-hoo! [CHUCKLES]

Nah.

Amina, you and me, we should get together.

Sorry, what?

Start a band. Oh, right. Yeah.

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY] Band.

[BOTH LAUGHING] Yeah.

AMINA: See? This was fine, totally fine.

I mean, look at the distance between us.

A couple of decent halal meters right there.

Permissible A.F.

For Ayesha, her situation was significantly less than fine.

It was Defcon One: Meet the parents.

You're looking lovely, Ayesha.

Yeah, ma'am, uh, made an effort and that for you lads.

Um, yeah, uh, just wanted to say thanks

for letting us use the house. Uh, it really saved the band.

It was our pleasure. We adore Lady Parts.

* Bashir With the good beard *

* You're so pretty, you're so Pretty, you're so pretty *

[CHUCKLES] * Voldemort's alive *

* And he's under my headscarf *

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Cool.

[LAUGHING] Guys, please.

Your parents must be so proud.

Yeah, man, um, they're cool.

Uh, they like my shit online, uh, sometimes--

Sometimes my dad reposts it.

Oh, that's good. You never know with parents.

My dad hated my saxophone.

"Jazz is for heroin addicts," he'd say.

Extremely small minded.

Grandpa is still in denial about me.

He's always like, "Have you met a nice boy yet?"

We, on the other hand, knew before you did.

No, you didn't! Oh, it was so cute.

She was so nervous coming out to us, all scared,

as though we didn't know already.

You didn't know! Oh, love,

it was hardly a surprise

with all those Maria Sharapova posters on your wall.

[CHUCKLES] Thanks, Mum.

How was it for you? How was what?

Coming out to your parents?

Uh...

God, you're so intrusive. Let's just leave it.

Sorry, love. Everyone's on their own journey.

You'll do it whenever it's right for you.

Yeah. Yeah, it's-- It's--

It's really hard with the band right now.

Yeah? Saira's all like:

"We need to record an album. We need to be--

We need to be serious." And I'm like--

I don't know, I just love playing together.

Yeah. Well, yeah, you're a pu-- You're-- You're a purist.

Your love's not for record deals and stadium shows,

you love making art, you love the...

spiritual communion of voice and instrument.

Yeah...

For being in flow,

for attaining that musical high, that sonic orgasm.

Oh. Heh. Nice. Oh--

Um--

That should be--

Uh, that should be the name of our band.

Sonic Orgasm. Sonic Orgasm.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Yeah, we can fight over who plays lead guitar.

Uh, me, obviously.

I'm Paul Simon, you're Art Garfunkel.

Oh. Heh.

So, you're the talent and I'm the pretty face?

Pretty much. Yeah, well,

I would say you're the pretty face.

And the-- And the-- And the talent too, so...

I don't know what I'm doing here. Heh.

AMINA: Klaxon! He said I have a pretty face like Art Garfunkel.

Okay, so things may have developed into mild flirting.

Perhaps a low-level simmering could be detected,

but I'll have you note: Distance, minimal eye-contact.

Still on that righteous path.

Saira, it's just one more of these jobs

and then we have enough for the recording.

A fashion shoot? Do you know what fashion is? Fashion is--

"Fashion is an instrument of the dick people."

Saira, we get it. Change the record, mate.

Saira, listen, it's one last job,

and we'll be able to afford the studio time.

And they're a sustainable fashion brand.

It's art. We should be artists supporting other artists.

If anything, it's what the manifesto delineates.

Ooh.

Fine.

Wh--? Really?

We're a serious band. We need the studio time.

Let's support these so-called artists.

Great.

When are these devil babies getting here, then?

I'm hungry. Yeah. None of that please.

It's important to me that Lady Parts and Second Wife get along.

Momtaz Records is a place of togetherness and connection.

So... just don't be mean.

Everyone friendly. Mm.

I'm friendly as fuck. Mm-hm.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Door? Door. Okay.

[***]

Hey, everyone. This is Second Wife.

Hi. Taifa. I'm Taifa.

Farah. Thanks for like, having us.

Ali. Hi. Hm.

Mmm.

I cannot believe we're actually meeting you.

We like, literally love you.

Yeah, cool. Yeah. Nice one, mate.

You-- You are a goddess.

A total queer icon.

Or just, you know, an icon, but, yeah, thanks.

Saira's my second favorite. You're my top.

Tell me she's gay and not just queerbaiting in all that plaid.

I don't know, maybe it's none of your fucking business.

Ooh, cagey, but I get it.

It's got to be a mindfuck for you millennials,

marinating in all that heteronormativity.

Saira, hi. Um, big fan. Huge.

[GIGGLES] As you know. Taifa. Uh, hi, I love you.

I knew you before they did.

Look at that. A triangle of fangirls.

A tri-fangirl.

Nice. Hm.

So, are you both Gen Z?

So I-- I guess it's not true then?

What's not true? That you and Saira are a thing.

Fuck no. Where would you--? Who would even tell--?

What? You haven't seen the fan fic?

It's pretty deep cut so you have to know where to look.

Um... Yeah, you and Saira, so hot.

Who drew this? Some horny Picasso.

Dude, it's a watercolor. It would be a horny Monet.

Why you always trying to embarrass me

in front of really cool people?

I'm not. Yes, that was so unnecessary.

[CONTINUE ARGUING INDISTINCTLY] Uh, Ayesha...

Yeah? Is everything okay?

Mm. Mm-hm.

Yeah, songwriting lessons. What you guys have done--

I'm sort of busy with the album, and I'm not really a teacher.

Yes, you are. You taught Amina. She taught Amina.

You are a teacher. She's a teacher.

Please? I can pay you.

She needs the money. Homeless and 30.

Thirty is young. I am relevant.

Ooh, I can help. I'm flush at the moment. I can pay you.

We just signed a new deal with Sport Collect

for their next campaign.

They're this new sportswear brand, so chic.

That is so cool.

Aw, thanks.

They're getting way more diverse in their campaigns.

A lot more Muslim representation.

Sport Collect, yeah? I read about them.

Their workforce has great Muslim representation too.

In their sweatshops, I think

it's exclusively Bangladeshi children.

Taifa. Uh, why don't you come with me?

I could use your help in the kitchen.

Yeah, sure. [CHUCKLES] Okay.

Be nice.

Taifa, I just want to say how thrilled I am

that you guys are all here.

That you're with Momtaz's--

Sisters together supporting each other.

That's what it's all about. Agreed.

This is literally such a dream.

And you're such an inspiration.

Seeing another Black woman in punk is rare.

So, it's cool to see you do your thing.

Thanks, love.

[CHUCKLES] But--

But?

I'm not saying this to be shady, I mean...

Basically, like, Ayesha and Saira

have way more followers than you,

and Saira barely posts anything

and I'm just like, that's wrong. You're amazing.

You deserve to be just as popular as anyone.

Uh-huh. Well, um...

And I'm thinking there's probably an element of racism.

I mean, totally. As much as we love our fellow Muslims,

we know racism exists within our global Ummah too.

As Black women, it can be a shit ride sometimes,

but then I'm just like, well,

I have loads of followers so...

maybe it's partly your whole vibe.

My whole vibe?

You know, the-- The nicey-nicey mum thing.

The thick knit, all oversized.

It's just a bit... unthreatening.

Mum-core.

Mum-core?

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

You shouldn't be invisible.

You deserve to be just as popular as them.

Right. Okay. Heh.

Thank you.

[GIGGLES]

AMINA: Well, this is me.

Uh... Oh, uh, sorry

if it was me that made you late.

Oh, it's chill. They're fine.

Bisma's is just round the corner, so...

You know, you're--

You're-- You're nothing like what I thought you'd be.

WOMAN: --never.

[GROANS] Tsk, tsk.

What--? Yeah, good day.

It's fine, leave it.

No, I'm sorry. Uh-- People, man.

[SIGHS] Sorry, do you not--

Do you not mind all the... eyes?

All the looking? Fuck's sake.

Yeah, I'm used to the looking.

The head gear alone gets me eyes aplenty, so...

But I'm trying not to care.

You know, part of my villain era

is to not care what people think, but,

a lifetime of hardwiring and socialization

is hard to shake off, but I'm trying.

[CHUCKLES] I'm really-- I'm really trying.

But, you know, of course I care when they look at us.

And sometimes I'm just thinking:

"Oh, oh, oh, is it-- Is it them hating me

or is it me just projecting my own internal self-loathing?"

So, I just-- Mm!

Sorry. I--

AMINA: What just happened? I couldn't cope.

And so like any grown-up would, I did the following.

[GROANING] Wait, Amina. Uh--

Sorry, it was just the moment. I didn't--

Uh, what are you doing?

I'm doing a cease and desist.

How many S's in "desist?"

Taz, you have to sort this. sort this now!

Okay, uh-- Uh--

Hi, friends. Oh, hello, Second Wife nuts.

Howdy-doody. I'm Amina. Heh-heh.

Hi. Hey. Amina.

You all right, pal?

Oh, yeah. Fine. Fine.

How was it? How's, uh, Billy boy?

Fine. Why? It was fine. Nothing happened.

Billy. That sounds like a white boy. Sordid, and I love it.

No, no, no, no. It's not-- We're not-- We're not--

Oh, my God, is this the villain era you were all on about?

You crossing the pork line is giving me life.

[CHUCKLES] Uh, the pork line? What?

You're on the dark side now, huh?

[GIGGLING] Pure Sith energy.

TAIFA: I kinda love this for you.

I mean, the whole girl-next-door thing kind of had its moment.

Mm-hm. Is it, like,

a colonial overlord dom-sub thing?

If so... ALL: Hot.

MOMTAZ: Uh, oh, uh, Amina, wh--

Why don't you eat something? Hm? Okay?

Mm! So happy to hear you guys

are doing the Yin Arts clothing photoshoot.

We were so sad we had to pass. Direct clash with Sport Collect.

But we're so happy it worked out for you guys.

AMINA: Taking Second Wife's sloppy seconds.

Is that what we had been reduced to?

But what choice did we have?

Lady Parts, welcome.

AMINA: So, here we were. Yin Arts clothing photoshoot.

This was the last paid job we needed

before we could afford the recording.

We should have been excited,

but we were all a little jangly.

You each have a rail of clothes selected for you.

Please, explore your individual rails,

feel into them, and we can get started.

Hm. [CHUCKLES]

Okay. Mm-hm!

SAIRA: You know what Taifa says to me?

Can I teach her? Teach her? Rude, right?

I am not some fusty old retired music teacher,

I am an artist in my prime.

Saira-- Come on, she didn't mean it.

She worships you. Know what she said to me then?

"I can pay you." "I'm flush," she says.

What am I supposed to say to that?

"That's nice. Well, I'm poor, homeless

and sleeping on my friend's floor?"

Don't take it personally. Wh--

Why don't you try something on? Hm?

Chelle. What do you want me to wear?

Barbie at the ready. Dress me up.

'Kay, let's see. Oh, heh, sorry. Sorry. Excuse me?

If you could just not do that. That's a one of a kind pieces.

Yeah, sorry, mate.

Here, I'll help. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, please.

AMINA: Oh, dear lord. So much bare arm.

Was this how they saw me? Tight-fitted?

Did they know of my transgression?

That I had kissed a non-believer.

How could they possibly know?

Uh, excuse me? Excuse me, Chelle? Hi, hello.

Uh, sorry, this is all a little, heh, out there for me?

Uh, I don't know who you think I am,

but I'm not a bare-arm kind of girl, okay?

Is that-- Is that what you think? Hm? Hm?

Um, no. No, uh, the idea is that we layer. Layering.

Layering, right, yeah. Yeah.

But it's all so tight fitted,

so how could I layer it without everything being even tighter?

Oh! Um... Question. Hi, hello.

Sorry. I'm sorry. Um, everything on my rail

is sort of, I don't know, loose-fitted.

Is that-- Is-- Is that-- Why-- Why is that?

Oversized is a style. I do a lot of oversized, so...

Ah, okay, heh, understood.

Follow-up question:

Why-- Why have I got all the oversized options

when everybody else's is more tight-fitted?

Uh-- Ooh. Oh, yes.

I could do a bit of this. I love baggy. I do baggy.

Uh, no-- No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Sorry. No, we've pulled pieces and complete looks for you.

Oh, sorry, this is all thought out.

Saira, Ayesha, let's--

Let's get you guys out to shoot something, why don't we?

Yeah, no, I'll just powder them. [HUFFS]

Final touches before you--

Oh! What? No.

Uh, okay.

Ooh!

Ladies.

[SIGHS] I feel like an idiot.

Yeah, well, you look like one, so the shoe fits.

Okay, uh,

could we try standing a bit closer to each other?

Listen, I-I just I feel like I've got all the mumsie stuff.

My work's not mumsie.

No. Heh. No. Not at all.

I-- Fine.

AMINA: This is practically spray on.

Who do they think I am?

Just 'cause I accidentally kissed a boy

I should be down with full frontal?

Maybe lean on each other.

You know... like friends would.

[GROANS]

That's great.

Uh, put your arm on her shoulder.

Lovely. And, Ayesha, put your arm 'round Saira.

[SIGHS] [GROANS]

PHOTOGRAPHER: Ah, interesting.

What I'm saying is my stuff is less flattering.

I chose looks according to what suits

different body types, so... Heh.

And my body type is what exactly? "Hide that shit?"

No, no...

[PHONE BUZZING, CHIMING]

[GRUNTS]

Amina, please respond. I'm really, really sorry.

AMINA: Ah. More messages from Billy. What do I do?

Oh, it's hot in here. It's too hot.

[PHONE BUZZES, CHIMES]

Hey, Billy told me what happened.

Hope you're okay.

Ah. Ahsan knows too.

Oh, soon everyone will know.

Oh, it's really hot in here. Why is it so hot?

Uh, try looking at each other.

Take a look at each other, turn to each other.

Turn to each other. Lovely. There you go.

No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not--

Okay, are you trying-- That what you're trying to do?

I-- I get it. I see it. I see it.

Everyone-- Everyone think-- No! 'Cause, listen.

I need personal space, 'cause we can't just be

getting so close like that, all right? Yeah?

I-- I-- I-- I-- I-- I just-- Heh. It's fine.

I'll just wear these.

But those aren't complete looks.

Listen, I wouldn't just show up to your studio,

rewrite one of your songs and completely fuck up your art.

Oh, come on, this isn't art!

I need to get this off. It's too tight. It's too tight.

[FABRIC RIPS]

Uh-oh.

[SCREAMS]

[AMINA THUDS]

AMINA: Chelle? Um, sorry!

Oh.

AMINA: So, yeah, the photoshoot was called off.

Apparently, our behavior was challenging.

A direct result of a headbutt to the core wound,

courtesy of Second Wife.

The outcome? No money, no studio time, no album.

I don't know what got into you all today,

but honestly, it was not pretty.

Okay, we-- We needed this. We really needed this.

Now I've got to find us another paid job

before...pulls out. No more, please.

MOMTAZ: Yes, more.

[SIGHS]

The album recording's

not going to pay for itself, Saira.

[SIGHS]

[EL MICHELS AFFAIR (FEAT. PIYA MALIK) "ZAHARILA" PLAYING IN HINDI]

["ZAHARILA" CONTINUES]

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