Original subtitles

AMINA: The memory of Second Wife's cover

of our most popular song

was freshly seared into our craniums.

Second Wife, all wide-eyed and cherub-skinned,

ready to bury us.

* Bashir with the good beard *

* You're so pretty You're so pretty *

* You're so pretty *

At least they weren't better than us.

They were shite. They were different.

Makes one thing clear:

We need to record our album, our songs. ASAP.

Pronto. Jaldi. ALL: Yeah.

But, you know, I kinda liked their version of "Bashir."

Kinda slow, sad girl. Easy, Judas.

At least they had the stones to get up there

with their limited repertoire and skill.

Can we please stop it with this faux-sisterhood, please?

Look, I get it,

we can't look to be hating on our own, but, fuck, man,

they said they were "updating an old classic."

They were trying to dead us, coffin us, finish us, fam.

And we're literally sitting here like, "You go girl. You go."

Whoa. Fuck no. You don't go girl. You don't go.

I guess there was some bad juju.

Absolutely dripping with venom.

Like, why are you hating?

Saira, control your groupie, fam.

Did you piss her off or something?

Or maybe she's trying to be you, that's step one.

Step two, she skins you

and makes a Saira onesie out of your leathery ass.

I'm not leathery. Thirty is young.

You're missing the point.

AMINA: Sure, Second Wife's meteoric rise from obscurity

was a blow to our feelings. But it was nothing...

...compared to this.

[CHATTING INDISTINCTLY]

BISMA: I thought they couldn't evict you because of the sinkhole.

F--

AMINA: The bedsit was Saira's home. Her sanctuary.

The place where she could find refuge from the world

and truly be herself. But now...

[HEAVY MACHINERY POUNDING]

Saira had ignored the eviction notices for too long,

and all we could do was watch as they tore down her home.

Excuse me, coming through.

AMINA: Destroyed our rehearsal space,

until it was all gone.

[EXHALES SHAKILY]

VOICE [ON VIDEOGAME]: And begin!

I love Taifa. I've been following her

since I got my phone, and she's the coolest,

and not in a fake way.

I don't think Second Wife are that bad either.

Yeah? Taifa is obsessed with you.

I gathered. Yeah.

She dressed up as you for Halloween

and started doing tutorials on how to get

your signature "tired, unwashed" look.

[CHUCKLES] Secret's in the name.

Mmm!

[CHUCKLES] What's all this then?

Oh. All four grandparents are coming over

and they hate each other.

It's stressful for my parents. As you can see.

[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY] Well, uh,

don't want to get in the way. N-- No, stay. It's so funny.

Spit always hits the fan.

Oi, you. Mind your language.

I said "spit."

Mm. Well, I gots to head. Where you going?

Uh, meeting an old friend for dinner.

Big love, and I'll see yous later.

Um, promise I'll only be staying one night.

Mwah.

AMINA: Saira, having lost her home, felt she was backsliding,

careering into her fourth decade of life

with nothing to show for it.

Okay, let-- Let's do this.

And so she put everything into the band,

determined to rehearse, to write new material,

ready for recording our album, no matter what.

But finding a suitable rehearsal space

was trickier than we anticipated.

Sorry. So sorry.

And Ayesha's bedroom was far from ideal.

So, the folk night was fun.

So fun. Heh.

Did you change your hair?

Yeah. I-- I mean, a slight trim.

Suits you.

Thanks.

[GAGS] [SIGHS]

Everyone ready?

Yeah. Let's go. You good?

Yeah.

One, two, three, four.

[POUNDING ON WALL]

MAN: Oi! Quiet, you lot!

WOMAN: We're trying to work!

AMINA: The forces of the universe seemed

to be conspiring against us.

Since we lost the bedsit, we had lost our creative flow,

and it totally sucked.

Fuck!

WOMAN: Quiet!

We've got no funds for the album, no rehearsal space,

and there's this other little prick band

who's trying to usurp us. It's caca-fuego!

That sounds incredibly stressful and a lot, okay?

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

AMINA: With rehearsals on pause,

Ayesha had more time to spend with her new girlfriend, Laura,

who always knew how to help Ayesha let go.

[LAUGHING]

They just clicked.

* Standing in the way Of control *

Who am I?

No, that's not me. No, it's-- That's Blue Steel.

Yeah, you do Blue Steel.

All right, cool. Who's this?

No, no, absolutely not.

Absolutely-- Never done that in my life.

[SQUEALING PLAYFULLY]

You know, you could use my parent's summer place

for the weekend. What do you mean?

My parents. They've got this house, in Norfolk.

They summer there, sometimes.

They summer there?

It's empty most of the year.

Right. [CHUCKLES]

You guys could have, like, a music retreat over the weekend

or something. Get your vibe back.

Yeah, I mean, they-- You wouldn't-- They wouldn't mind?

No, it's totally chill.

I'll have to ask Mum and Dad, obviously,

but they'll be cool. They love Lady Parts.

Honestly, they'd be honored to have you guys there.

That's really cool. Hm.

Thanks, Laura.

You know, they're actually back from New York next week.

Maybe we can all have lunch together.

Don't look so terrified. They're cool.

No. Terrified? I'm not terri--

I would love that. That would be really... awesome.

Mm-hm. That would be awesome.

Great. Awesome.

Oh, and whatever kid band you're worried about,

I bet they've got nothing on you guys.

Yeah.

[SHUTTER CLICKING] AMINA: Cute. Nice.

AMINA: Meanwhile, I had more time to spend time with Noor,

my bestie, who had been blessed with child.

Imminent child.

Got it.

For sure? Yeah.

Noor and I had patched things up.

Good.

[VOMITING]

She had apologized

for behaving like a self-righteous arse.

Hashtag "baby bliss," hashtag "new mum to be."

[VOMITING]

Hashtag, "blessed."

Okay, um, maybe those aren't helping.

[SNARLS] Right. Lovely.

[SIGHS] I hate this.

Noor, you've always wanted a baby.

No. Mm. It wasn't meant to be like this.

I'm fat.

You're pregnant. I'm fat.

You're pregnant.

My skin is crap. Look.

Look at my T-zone.

Okay, it's a bit oily. Mine gets like that.

I know. It's gross.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

You want a grand gesture? You got it.

I'm the grandmaster of the grand gestures.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

BILLY [KNOCKING]: Hey, bro, you good?

Uh, good, Billy. Just, uh--

Whoa, a mixtape. Labor-intensive. Who's it for?

No one. It's a friend... in hospital.

Just sick with... uh. sickness. Oh.

Ah, sickness. It will get you.

Yeah. What's up?

Oh, I just wanted to ask for Amina's number.

She said I could get it off you.

Um, sure. Sure.

Cool?

Can I ask why?

Oh, I wanted to ask her out.

I think-- I think we had something.

I've never harmonized like that with someone before.

It was something else, you know? Like, resonant.

Yeah, a bit pitchy if you ask me.

Sorry? Yeah, sure. Uh... no, fair.

Just, uh, great.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Her number.

Amina's number. I should warn you.

She's... pretty Muslim.

Uh, "Muslim" Muslim.

You know, muchosMuslim.

What do you mean? God squad? V religiousy?

V! V, V religiousy.

[CHUCKLING] She's on that marriage hype.

Last I checked, she was jonesing for a husband.

Desperate vibes, you know? Wow. Husband.

Yeah... Yeah, I'm not sure I'm down

for nuptials in this lifetime.

Pbbt! Innit? Yeah.

I just thought you should have all the info.

But I mean text her if you want.

Appreciate it.

Thanks, mate. Yeah.

Amina.

[CHUCKLES]

[PHONE BUZZES, CHIMES]

[GASPS]

What? No effing way.

What?

Billy's asking me on a date. Explicitly a date.

Check out some guitars on Denmark Street.

[SQUEALS] Billy?

You mean impromptu-dueting- folky-white boy Billy?

The very same.

Okay. What are you saying?

Absolutely. "Wednesday any good?"

Wa-- Wait. Whoa, Amina. Is he even Muslim?

Don't know. Probably not.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Okay.

And you don't have a problem with that?

Noor, we're just checking out some guitars,

it's nothing sordid.

The whole thing with my villain era

is I say yes to the universe. So, I'm saying yes.

[SCOFFS] Okay. Listen, Amina.

Sure, it starts with a harmless strum on the guitar,

but before you know it,

you'll be ripping off the hijab

and hosting wine and cheese nights.

This is how it starts, Amina.

Don't be a trope.

Wow. Is that what you think of me?

What? So little self-esteem

that I would just change my beliefs for some guy?

Am I that pathetic to you?

Amina, no, I'm just trying to be--

I am a 28-year-old woman.

I am not this kid that you can just keep--

[HUFFS] You set me up on dates with men

who thought I was damaged goods.

Yes, yeah, sure, they were Muslim,

but you know what? Billy is an artist, okay?

We have a musical connection.

It's not something you would understand.

You know what? Actually,

I'm getting that sort of toxic, judgey vibe from you

that I promised myself I would not abide.

You crossed a boundary, Noor.

You crossed a boundary.

[INHALES]

Amina, I'm-- I'm sorry. No, no, don't go.

I have to pack. The band are having a musical retreat,

and I would like good vibes only, thank you.

[***]

PHOTOGRAPHER: Yeah. Nice. Lovely. Yeah. Yeah. So fierce.

Guys, think power pose,

but still keep it regal at the same time.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Lovely. Yeah. And... beautiful. Yeah.

Okay, cool, let's switch up the vibe.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Oh, my God, you guys.

This is amazing. So good. A bit close.

Yes. Yes. Love it. Love it. Okay, down the lens. Yeah.

Momtaz. Ah, thank you so much for agreeing to meet.

Um, guys, let's take five.

You do not need me.

I mean, you've got resources. I mean, look.

Well, it's not about that. You guys are authentic.

I've got Bare Uncle Sams out here trying to capitalize

off my shit-hot diversity. Yeah, they do that, don't they?

You guys are real punks

and, I guess, I'm still trying to figure out our vibe.

Second Wife. What are we? So, please, you know?

I'll think about it.

Taz, we just need some help being a band.

Okay, sure, I can earn three grand

doing a 20-second TikTok clip selling some stupid mascara,

but I wanna be like Saira.

I want Second Wife to be like Lady Parts.

A real band.

I'm sorry, you can get how much for what now?

[LAUGHS] AMINA: As for Bisma,

a pause in rehearsals meant she could spend more time

with the family. However...

Mm! Mwah!

How was that? Um...

Please can you stop being disgusting in my presence?

It could adversely impact my development.

AMINA: Their daughter was afflicted by pubescent rage.

Bisma was struggling to cope.

[SIGHS DRAMATICALLY]

You did what? I did what anyone would do.

I did what Malala would do.

You know she fights for girls education every day?

Malala would not throw eggs at Mr. Appleby. Imani!

He shouldn't have taken slavery off the Year 7 curriculum.

I'm just advocating for my right to learn.

Violence is not advocating. That is not how we raised you.

Oh, I'm sorry, I should just roll over and take it.

It's the way you raised me.

"Inhale for three and find your inner Zen."

Yeah, sure, you're in a punk band

and pretend to be this badass, edge-lord,

but you know what you are? You're a people-pleaser--

[PULSATES]

[SIGHS] Okay, well, I'm gonna go,

um, 'cause I'm late. [STAMMERING]

You've got this, so I'll just-- But-- no, no, no, no.

I'll see you Sunday. But I love you.

I love you so much. Yeah. I love you too, but-- Bi--

Yeah! No, Bis-- No look-- She needs--

She needs her mum.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[SIGHS] Okay, okay, you got this.

You got this.

ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: How many pips are on the standard golf ball?

Okay, here's where I'm at.

We need money for the recording,

but playing gigs does not pay.

However, I think I've found something that does.

All ears. Hit us.

Now, keep an open mind.

So, there's a make-up brand that have got

a new mascara they'd like us to support.

We are not using our music to sell mascara to tweens okay?

What's wrong with mascara? We all wear it.

It's just one endorsement, we get the cashish.

Hm. Maybe we should try the product,

see if it's something we might endorse.

If it's good. Only if it's good.

Yeah, no clumps. I hate clumps.

What are we saying to kids with this mascara shit?

Your worth is tied up in how long your eye hairs are?

[ALL SIGH] That's not who we are.

We're serious musicians, not vapid agents of capitalism.

[ALL GROAN]

We simply seek to speak our truth

before we're mangled by other people's bullshit ideas of us.

What truth are we speaking by selling mascara,

please enlighten me?

We are speaking the truth

that we need some money so we can advance as a band

and make the music we want to make.

Saira, no offense,

but as someone without a pot to piss in

you are clinging to this manifesto mighty hard.

Oh, right, so you were hoping that because I lost my home,

I would lose my principles too?

Where did you find this mascara shit anyway?

Second Wife have endorsed it.

How do you know that?

[***]

Don't go crazy. Okay? Uh--

So, I met with Taifa, and I signed them.

Second Wife are now part of Momtaz Records.

Sorry, I'm late!

Pubescent child amdram, innit.

Ooh! Whoo! Let's retreat, baby!

Whoo!

Okay, what's going on?

I'm sensing some salty energetics.

I can't just have one band.

Momtaz Records can't just have one band.

I thought we were all about the greater sisterhood.

Not when the greater sisterhood

is trying to smother us in our sleep.

Oh, come on. Are we that insecure?

I think it's great, Taz.

Thanks, Bisma.

And they weren't trying to backstab us with their cover.

It was an homage. They love Lady Parts.

And Taifa's really sweet and smart.

They're not even that good. Like, why though?

We can help them get better and they can help us.

Help us sell-out. [SCOFFS]

[CLEARS THROAT] "Sisterhood. Yeah.

We give thanks to the great women who came before us,

who walked so we could run.

We reach out our hands to those women who come after us,

so they might fly." It's in the bloody manifesto.

[AMINA GASPS] Whoa.

Wait. Is this... it?

Oh, my God. This is never it.

AMINA: Our squabbling had momentarily subsided

as we gazed in awe at our new rehearsal space,

a far, far cry from Saira's bedsit.

Ayesha, so do your girl's parents

own a football team or something?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I-- I don't know.

I didn't really realize it was, um... They-- They were, uh--

Yeah, I-- I don't know.

Okay, not too shabby. Not too shabby.

Yeah, this'll-- This'll work.

I mean, come on.

[SQUEALS SOFTLY] What's in here? Mm!

Ayesha, got the cake?

Yeah. I do.

Come on. Be my friend again.

I'll hug you. I will hug you. I will not let go.

Okay. All right. Yeah, all right, all right.

Guys, remember Saira's very sensitive about turning 30,

so let's just tread with caution.

[CHUCKLING] What? It's funny.

All right, all right, all right. New songs. Let's do it.

AMINA: The time had come to do what we do best:

Lady Parts, assemble.

[HUMMING TUNE]

[GROWLS TUNE]

Ooh, I like. Come on. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[BOTH HUMMING TUNE] Yeah, that's cool.

AMINA: But as Bisma sought inspiration,

there was only one thing she could think about.

Malala made me do it.

Come again? Que?

Imani got suspended.

She threw eggs at her teacher

because he took slavery off the curriculum.

Her excuse: "Malala made me do it."

[CHUCKLING] That's pretty good.

What? That's so unlike her.

Uh-huh. I know.

And then I almost lost it at her, which is unlike me.

Fuck this "unlike me, unlike her" shit.

You contain multitudes.

Yeah, one of those multitudes being I'm a shit mum!

You're the best mum! Fuck off!

Whoa, whoa. We are not doing that. Mm-mm.

You wanna know how much of a shit mum I am?

When she told me what she did, I scolded her.

Like, yeah, yeah, sure, it's wrong to be violent,

but what am I actually saying to her? Hm? Stay in your box?

And then she called me a people-pleaser.

[GASPS] Uh--

Maybe-- Maybe-- Maybe I am a people-pleaser.

You're a queen! You are a fucking legend.

Fuck no. No.

No, no, no. You-- You--

You are a badass punk and so is your daughter.

All right? She gets it from you.

I don't know.

MOMTAZ: You've gotta write it.

Huh?

"Malala Made Me Do It." It's--

It's brilliant. You've got to write it.

Really? Yeah.

Mm. Yes.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

[ALL CHEERING, LAUGHING]

AMINA: Through the night, into the small hours,

"Malala Made Me Do It" was born.

* He named her Malala Malala Yousefzai *

* Rode into town And made the Talibanis cry *

* Born in Swat Valley Up in northern Pakistan *

* Advocating For the rise of the woman *

* Nobel prize at 17 *

* The baddest bitch You've ever seen *

* Cross your heart And hope to die *

* It's Malala Yousefzai Malala Yousefzai *

* Malala, Malala, Malala Malala Yousefzai *

* Nothing could stop her *

* Not the bullet that she took *

* She cried one pen And one child *

* And one teacher And one book *

* She headed for adventure Like her brother Frodo did *

* Prisoner of Azkaban Got nothin' on this kid *

* Noble, wise and so serene *

* The baddest bitch You've ever seen *

* Cross your heart And hope to die *

* It's Malala Yousefzai *

* Stole biscuits From the staff room *

* Malala made her do it *

* Skipped choir To chase the boys *

* Malala made her do it *

* Hidin' in the girls' loo *

* To while away Those Monday blue *

* Malala made her do that too *

* It's Malala Yousefzai *

[ALL CHEERING, LAUGHING]

AMINA: Who knew a Malala hype track

was what we needed to find our flow again? It felt great.

[CHUCKLES]

[GROANS]

[INHALES, EXHALES] Thirty, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS] Shit, she's coming!

She's coming! Quick! Oh!

* Happy birthday to you * Oh, man.

* Happy birthday to you *

* Happy birthday *

* Dear Saira * * Dickhead *

Oh, fuck you!

* Happy birthday to you *

[ALL CHEERING, WHOOPING]

Really? Speech! Speech!

Okay, um, so, hi, everyone. I'm 30. Fuck.

Still relevant, though.

So relevant. Thank you.

Oh.

[CHEERING WILDLY]

[CLEARS THROAT] Taz, hey.

I'm sorry for being weird about Second Wife.

I'm just an insecure old lady or something boring.

It's great. They're part of the sisterhood.

And, listen, I know you've been busting your ass

to get us paid jobs and I just wanted to say...

I appreciate it.

I appreciate you.

It's hard to go toe-to-toe with the white supremacist,

imperialist, capitalist, heteropatriarchy, so, yeah...

I appreciate you trying.

Thanks. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

No, thanks, Saira. That means a lot.

I want us to record. I do.

[EXHALES SLOWLY]

Maybe I should--

We should consider...

I don't know.. a thingy.

Paid thingy. What, really?

AMINA: Up until now, Saira had batted back

every paid "thingy" Momtaz had suggested,

but seeing our sisterly joy resurrected,

she was considering it.

Yeah, but ideally nothing too capitalist-y, you know?

Look-- I actually think I've got something you might go for.

Yeah?

Amina, honey. Hm?

How many pieces of cake have you had?

Just five.

Attention, punks! [GASPS]

What's this?

A song list.

Abba? Tom Jones.

We've got to learn all these songs by next week.

Why?

Because we are playing... a wedding.

[GASPS] A wedding? I love weddings.

A wedding. Okay.

We're not selling anything, were merely the entertainment.

No. Saira, no! We are not a wedding band.

Do you know how lame it is? We have an image to maintain.

We can't just-- What, we're just gonna play Britney?

Britney. Britney!

Yep.

It's Britney, bitch.

[INSTRUMENTAL "MALALA MADE ME DO IT" PLAYING]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0